Don't agree... First: 'always' .... it's never 'always.. second: in my profession I see a lot of people and hear a lot of stories. I really KNOW that some of my patients who's adult children don't speak to them did nothing wrong and did absolutely everything to have a good relationship with their kids. But as a parent, you can't always be 'a friend'. And sometimes, in very difficult situations, with very big problems (psychiatric, drugs, ....) you have to make a decision against what your child wants. This can lead to a very difficult relationship later on. So please: this statement hurts people. People who love their children, lie awake at night, have seen horrible things at home, have to make choices in the most difficult dilemmas. From some age on, you have to let your kids do their own thing and sometimes that brings a lot of trouble with it. Kids are just like other people: sometimes things do happen to them, which you don't have any control over as a parent.

So not true.... even adult children can be manipulated by the other parent, a possessive new GF/BF, social media, etc... You can do everything right and someone can still choose to go down a bad path and decide it is easier to blame a parent instead of an honest look at themselves.

I don't agree with this 100%. Some adult children have their own issues not created by parents..

I used to have a friend that alienated his mom and brothers because they grew up poor (his mom was a widow with 4 boys). He got very involved in the Southern Baptist Church and moved several states away. He was embarrassed by his humble childhood. His mom worked hard to support the family and get her GED but he couldn't "forgive" them. So no, some kids are just self centered and care more about what other people think of them than the feelings of their own family. His mom and brothers wouldn't join his church either so..cut completely out. One of his brothers died and his wife had to talk him into coming home for the funeral. Not always the parents.

In most cases, but not always. The child may have severe mental illness or addiction issues. Or they may hold against their parent something that is not the parent’s fault, etc.

I belong to an epilepsy support group and find it appalling that some parents think their kids are just faking seizures because they want attention and are lazy. Some were diagnosed as a child and some are teenagers. It's so sad and what's worse is that some must live with their parents because they have no place to go due to medical treatment costing too much, are unable to work, or don't have enough money to live on their own.

Completely disagree! People make mistakes. Bad decisions. Are you responsible for all of those that your child makes? It's part of growing and learning. There are 5 siblings in my family and ONE turned out to be an absolute a**hole. We were all raised by the same parents with the same rules and same environment. How is that on the parent? They tried.

Totally agree, and thank you 💟 I have not spoken to my mother since 2006, and frankly I don't feel the need to either. I don't miss her, I don't regret cutting contact, I don't need her at all, I don't think of her. She is gone from my mind and she doesn't matter to me anymore. That's the reality, and my siblings have also cut contact with her. We have our reasons for doing so, yet we have been shamed and looked down on for this. Violence, abuse, neglect, manipulation, and endless blame made me and my siblings cut contact with that woman who was suppose to be our mother. It's not our fault, and I was in therapy for 6 years before I realized that.

I wish I could upvote this. My husband cut contact with his parents after our son was born because his mother is a narcissistic child abuser, a thief, and a liar. His dad is almost as bad for turning a blind eye and letting her do whatever she wants. My husband didn't want to expose our child to that kind of toxicity.

People in the comments are ignoring this part: "If their first instinct, as soon as they get out from under your thumb, is to completely ignore you forever" It's not about your adult children deciding to cut you off after an argument. It's not about your adult children being manipulated by someone else. This is about your children getting away from you at their earliest opportunity.

The ONLY exception is PAL (Parental Alienation Syndrome) Essentially where the main carer parent has so poisoned to child against the absent parent that they refuse to see them, speak to them and can be scared of them. This is done as a form of 'revenge' and is used as a controlling mechanism by abusive parents/partners. Sadly this is not as uncommon as we'd all hope..

So true, I myself ended my relationship with my dad when I was like 17-18 cuz I've had enough of it. A few years later my grandmother passed and we met for the first time at the funeral and he barely even said hi. He still blame me for our relationship drifting apart, since I was the one stop talking to him. Seems like he never even considered he was the problem for me doing that...

Yea saying “always” really makes your opinion right. Stop projecting.

Not so sure about this one. I and my youngest brother have always kept in regular contact with our parents, but my other brother has consistently ignored us all for years. He last visited our mother 10 years ago, after a gap of several years, chatted like he was only there last week. He's never called or shown his face since. Sister in law contacted him a couple of years ago to tell him our mum had cancer; a nasty conversation ensued when he basically said he didn't care and then blocked us all. It's his problem, not our parents, none of us have any idea why.

Now, there are a couple exceptions, it could be that the child did not like a way the parent handled something, even if in reality, the parent was assessing the problem properly at that moment.

Amen. And usually, it's an accumulation of facts but it takes one incident to trigger that result. My mom was over-disciplining me for years, cutting me from the rest of my family, trying to control my studies and career choices, but one last act of neglect was the final straw for me.

Wish I could like this 1000 times.

Um wrong my parents don't talk to my brother because he molested me. Not because they did something wrong. What a stupid post

I needed a lot of help in my teens with depression. I was ignored, told to get over it, blamed for it, etc. One day, I told my parents I felt I was going crazy, and that I felt I needed professional help. "Not in THIS house!!!!" was the response. I lost faith in them right then and there. I am now 55 and want nothing to do with my family. I am better off without their nasty, negative, name-calling, uncaring toxic ways.

My sister who only has one of her 3 adult children that will still talk to her, always blames it on them. That’s so not true, because she is so toxic. She always tells me that I’m so lucky that my 2 adult sons and I are so close, but it’s not luck at all. My 2adult sons and I are very close because I have been very good to them their entire lives, and still a good to them even though they are both adults that live on their own. A toxic parent should never just expect their grown children to be close to them... just because.

I agree with this. My parents never really took an interest in whatever I do. My siblings and I were neglected 90% of the time during our childhood because they were working all the time. I only saw them in the early morning (as in 5AM or so) and right before bedtime. I felt sorry to my younger sister during our elementary school years because she had shorter school time so she was always alone at home with no adults around to take care of her, which was the reason why I skipped my afternoon school I can accompany her at home. I almost couldn't proceed to the next grade because I missed school a lot.

Agreed. If you bail at 17, for your life and sanity, then you are NTA. the parent who strangled you, however, and left you with scars that show up on X-rays for the rest of your life.... May have effed it up pretty badly!

Can I get a halleluja!!

One of my adult children won't speak to me because I'm not a Trump supporter. I wasn't unkind or intolerant of their opinions but they cut me off just because I don't agree. I am so sad and heartbroken.

My father is a narcissist. He abused me psychologically all my life. Haveb't talked to him. Since 6 years. He's not allowed to see his grandsons. Thats what you get for being an asshole...

I disagree with the “always”. My brother doesn’t talk to my parents or any of us, and it really was his own fault. He stole money from my dad, trashed his bedroom to the point there were bug infestations twice, racked up like $1000s in parking tickets and didn’t tell my dad after he took back the car he bought for him...and that’s just the stuff I know about. He promised my mom he would change and didn’t, so my dad kicked him out of the house (he was a grown adult in his 20s), and he decided to get his revenge by going entirely no contact with everyone in the family in order to hurt my parents by hurting me, my sister, and our extended family. Sometimes the adult child is just an asshole.

I disagree strongly with this one! I'm one of seven children and have one sibling who won't speak to our mother, and hasn't done so for years. She was always a bully to me and our other siblings when we were kids and is a "difficult" person now. The rest of us all love our mother and think she's amazing - it breaks her heart that one of her children won't speak to her. My sister also doesn't speak to me or the other kids