First date with a guy who flat out asked me if I had been abused as a child because I was showing red flags apparently. 


Then he tried to dine and dash but I put a stop to that. I refused to leave. He ended up having to pay and that was the last I ever saw of him. .

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It wasn't bad at all until I pooped my pants on the drive home.

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Nathaniel He/Him Cis-Het

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Passion killer.

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I've posted this on Reddit before but it's a good one. It's long, but I swear it's worth it. (Also please know that I've grown a lot as a person and I would not handle this today the same way I did then.)

I matched on a dating app with a guy who turned out to be a friend's cousin. He was in his 30s, a few years older than me. We had decent chats on the app, though there were a few red flags. Like I was traveling for work to one of my company's warehouses, and I let him know I wouldn't be very available because I don't bring my personal phone with me during the day when I travel (too busy, and there's no service in those buildings anyway) and have really long days, but he still got upset when I wasn't answering him fast enough. I gave him the benefit of the doubt because normally I'm pretty responsive, even though it really annoyed me.

When I got back from traveling, he asked me to go out on a date. He was an alcoholic in recovery, so we agreed to meet for coffee at a certain Starbucks in my town. He didn't drive, so he'd get an Uber. On the day, I got showered and dressed, and then got a message from him that he needed to change the time. Annoying, but things happen. So I hang out at home for a while longer before heading over. When I'm one set of traffic lights away from the Starbucks, my phone pings and it's a message from him. His Uber took him to the wrong Starbucks, could I meet him there instead? They were pretty close to each other, so I replied that I would and made a u-turn to go back the quarter mile or so. I go inside and don't see him. I message him and he says he went back to the original Starbucks, but to stay where I am and he'd come back. I ordered a drink and and as I'm finishing paying, a *very* large, sweaty man comes in and *yells* my name in this tiny Starbucks.

Now, I knew from photos he was a big guy, but he had to have been at least a hundred pounds heavier than his picture. He gets in line to order a drink and in between talking to the baristas, he's telling me about how he started to run back from the other Starbucks (again, they were not too far apart) and then *jumped into some guy's car* to get here quicker. A random guy, who apparently didn't speak much English, and just commandeered it. Then he sits down and starts talking *at* me. This was not a conversation, it was a monologue. He tells me the reason he doesn't drive was because of several DUIs, and all about it. He tells me how his AA meetings are in a bar. (Weird choice.) He tells me about how his alcoholism means he has to live with his parents and that's why he doesn't have a job. He tells me all about his war injury (which, to be fair, resulted in him losing a leg). He tells me what kind of music he likes, and asks if I have tattoos and/or piercings. Before I can answer (no), he *stands up* and lifts his pants to show me his tattoos and his shirt to show me his nipple piercings!

He tells me he only wears Under Armour, and the sporting goods store in the same plaza was closing and having huge sales, and he wanted to walk over. I didn't know how to extract myself from the situation so...I went with him. We go in, and he is piling up his desired purchases. I don't pick up anything. We get in the very long checkout line, and when we're a few people from the front, he realizes he forgot to check out the shoes. He hands me his pile and jogs off. I get to the front of the line before he comes back, so I step aside and let several people behind me go. He comes back and we go to the next open register to pay. The total is over $200, at which point he tells me his mother controls his money and was going to be very upset with him.

We start walking back to the other end of the plaza where my car was parked and we pass a pet store. He decides he's going to run in and get live crickets for his lizard, which I did not know he had. (Not my kind of pet, but to each his own.) I finally took this opportunity to duck out and made up a lie about a family dinner. He asked for my phone number, which I declined to give (I always wait until after the first date because I've had some bad experiences), saying I'd message it to him later but I really had to run. He then drops on me that he's in the middle of his second divorce and he also had a failed engagement.

I booked it so fast to my car and deleted him from whatever dating app we matched on.

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Mike m

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Those prosthetic legs must be good because the guy ran to the other Starbucks and ran in the store.

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One of my best friends in college had this weird like .. trust fund rich sorta-hippie art major roommate. I was a f*****g a*****e skate punk raver brat and figured she had zero interest in me. She barely talked to me. But she approached me one day looking very .. I don't know nervous and adamant.

"Hey! Do you know who Harmony Korine is!"

"Um. No?"

"Ohmagawd he's an AMAAAAAZING author who just wrote his first screenplay. You've never heard of him?"

"Uhh... nope!"

"Okay. Well!" - *claps her hands* - "I would like for you, to please join me in two weeks here at our apartment. I'll make you a dinner and then I'll take you to a showing of his new film."

She looked super nervous the entire time. It was kind of sweet really.

"Um. I mean, yeah. Sure."

"Okay. I um .. I ask that you please be sober so that you can better appreciate the film. Is that okay?"

"Yeah, no, that's fine."

"Oh - okay! Okay then."

Like it was probably THE most awkward person who asked me out. But she looked super relieved.

The day of the date arrives, and I go to her apartment for dinner. Her roommate / my friend is there as well. He's stoned as f**k and giggling about the whole situation.

She served this 100% vegan dinner. Which, don't get me wrong, I love vegan food if it's cooked right. I'm an opportunivore, basically. But a lot of people don't know how to cook vegan food right. Aaaaaand, she was one of them.

She served this, like ... peanut based ... curry, I guess? But it was really thick. It was on a bed of wild rice that hadn't boiled long enough so it was still crunchy, with a side of broccoli.

The paste was SO .. THICK!! It was just reaaaallly thick and pasty.

And she and I had nothing in common and my friend was stoned out of his mind. So dinner was soft light jazz with the extremely audible sounds of us eating.

You'd hear a "*peeeeeeelll*" sound as our tongues attempted to extract the peanut curry off the roof of our mouths, then a soft crunch of the rice. Then another peel off the roof of the mouth. Another crunch.

Followed by loud swallows

"How is it?", she asked me.

"Good!", I lied.

We finished dinner and walked to the community $3 cinema to watch the newly released movie... ..... KIDS

Yep.

We watched KIDS

We watched basically a documentary about all the s****y human beings I was hanging out with, being absolute total and complete degenerates.

I accidentally laughed out loud at the scene where they beat the s**t out of the dude with their skateboards and she hissed at me, "this ISN'T funny, they could have KILLED that man!" ... which made me giggle more.

The ending scene was a gut punch.

We walked home in silence.

We didn't go on any more dates after that.

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maka paka

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Sounds like she thought she was trying to save him

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For some context, he told me that he was recently divorced from his wife. We had our first date at a bar and it went well. For the second date, he said he’d like me to come over so he could cook for me. He made dinner and it was good, and then we sat down to watch a movie. I noticed he still had his wedding pictures hanging up, which I found strange. I don’t remember what movie we were watching, but I’m pretty sure it was a comedy (definitely not a sad movie). Halfway through the movie he starts crying. He said he needed space and asked me to leave. I was confused, but went home.

Next day, he asks me to meet him at a restaurant. He admits he isn’t divorced, just separated. Turns out when we were watching the movie he got a text from his wife. She drove by the house, saw my car and got mad, then texted him that she was taking their daughter and leaving the state to live with family. I don’t know what happened after that because I stopped seeing him, but I felt very bad (even though we didn’t hook up I still felt guilty).

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TotallyNOTAFox

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No need to feel guilty, it was the guy's decision

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The one where the girl(s) didn't show up.

I had moved (unwillingly) a few months before to the midwest. I was in OK shape, not the best but OK. Went on a cruise with my immediate family a few months later. Started talking with a few girls and met two girls that were from two towns away from where the family had moved. I asked the girls if they would like to meet for dinner and they said yes. I wasn't looking to get laid or anything, I was just lonely as hell because I didn't know *anyone* around.

I sat there for 45 minutes before I ordered dinner for myself and I felt like complete and utter s**t for the rest of the trip. They could have just said no.

Haven't thought of that in years...

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Ample Aardvark

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Maybe you should have told the girls you just looking for friends since you're new to the area, idk

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I wouldn’t believe it if I didn’t experience it myself, but went out with a vegan who was OBSESSED with Taco Bell and literally refused to speak about anything other than their bean burritos. I asked what part of town he was in, he told me where the nearest Taco Bell was. I asked “what do you do?” and instead of telling me his job like any other person with a shred of normalcy would he answered, “I eat Taco Bell.” It was the most bizarre 20 minutes of my entire life before I finally chugged my drink and ran out of there.

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Orysha

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Now I'm curious about what they put in his Taco Bell bean burrito? 🤔

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Went to a brewery for a drink and they played local metal and rock bands. Kept interrupting both me and himself to name the songs and artists. The told me about his ex and how they were together for 3 years and talked AT LENGTH about her 5 yo daughter and how he felt like her father and still helps watch her even though he is low conta t with the mother(?) It was bizarre he probably talked about this kid for nearly half the date.
Also I was in grad school at the time and it was during finals so I was a little stressed and negative about school and studying ( I wouldn't say overly so but definitely a bit tired out) he told me it sounded like I was going to hate my job and I should drop out- 3 years into a 4 year doctorate.
Left after 1 round and no food- it felt like a fever dream


Also- I actually love my current job lol.

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Family's_disappointment

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The only good part in this story is HE LOVES HIS DAUGHTER AS HIS OWN.

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A blind date and she brought a friend and her toddler. Fun.

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Luke Branwen

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I wouldn't blame her TBH. With the way men are nowadays, bringing someone trusted to watch her back is a sensible move, and I say this as a man.

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He looked about 15 years older than his profile pictures, he “forgot” his wallet and had me buy the bottle of wine for his “wine and a movie” date idea, drank the entire bottle himself aside from the very small glass I poured myself (and took one sip of) and never paid me back for it. Also I later found out that he was friends with the guy I had just dated a few months earlier who ghosted me.

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He talked about his ex a lot and how almost everything he did was because he was a Pisces 😂
I haven't been on much dates so that's why it's not the worst thing that could have happened but this was the worst out of the bunch. It was more just annoying lol.

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Michael Largey

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Something fishy about that guy.

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He talked about sex the whole time and I had to pay for everything 🤮.

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Regina Holt

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Incel, you had to pay because his mom didn't give him his allowance that week.

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Too many stories to tell


The girl forgot how to get to the restaurant and got off at the wrong stop. I waited for her. The entire time she spent telling me about the "sexual" relationship she had with a previous "date." At the end , she had no way to get back to her car. I drove to her car .. and there was not a second date. She then asked me for career advice.

Another one, seemed into me and things. But, told me... She cannot be expected to pay for a date as the "man always pays." F**k that. She was surprised that I ended things. Her words... "I see this going somewhere." I didn't share the same sentiment. It was a meeting at a pub. Nothing too fancy.

So many more

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I had a girl tell me that she cannot go out unless she talked to her parents. We were late 20s at that point. She was then confused when I ended things after the first date.

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Mike F

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WTAF was that all about?

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Well, it's the *only* date I've been on (every other time I've dated someone we either just.... didn't go out cause they didn't want to or ended up only being with their friends) but it was still pretty demoralizing.

Met on a dating site, talked for a week. Was getting on amazingly. The end of that week I was driving back home from being in my hometown for a few days over Thanksgiving, and I messaged her as I was leaving asking if she would be OK talking on the phone for a while because I couldn't message for a while, also it would keep me awake. We ended up talking the entire 4 hour ride I had back home, and then I stayed up for another 2 hours talking with them, where we agreed to meet up on a date a few days later. We agreed on a restaurant, we met up, and immediately, effortlessly flowed back into a conversation that we had a few days before like we were old best friends. It was insane how well I felt we got along. We were going somewhere else after, I didn't know the way there cause we were in another town. We drove separately, and I said I could follow them. They instead just told me general directions and said they would follow after me.

I turned out of the parking lot and turned left, they waited at the road for a few seconds until I was at the end of the block at a light, and then turned the other way out of the parking lot and sped off. I was.... extremely confused, got to where we were going and called, maybe something happened? No answer. Waited a little while, then just went home. Sent a text later, no response.

I ended up another day later typing their name into my browser, expecting it to autofill to the url of our messages on the dating site, but it ended up just googling them instead. A blog came up, and because I'm awful, I looked at it. It was theirs, and allll of the first things on the page was the same. I don't remember what it was called *exactly*, but if you remember about.... 9? Years ago, there was this dumb online trend called 'waste his time' or something like that, and well, it was exactly what it sounds like. At least their version was, apparently it was something else first, like a Twitter joke or something, but they had decided to just use it to actually just f**k with guys. So that's been a pretty great sole dating experience.

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DeeDee M

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That is truly evil behavior, and I can only imagine how discouraging and awful that was for you. I'll send you hope and good vibes to meet the right person. There are good women out there who want love, not a transaction or social media clout. I promise.💕

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Not due to the date itself, but when I was living with my parents, my mother would follow me on any date I went on. Like if we went to the mall, she would follow us around the whole time. If we watched a movie, she was in the same showing.

So any date in high school. Those all sucked.

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Guy pulled out a harmonica at 1am to serenade me and all my roommates were asleep. he also sang along to every intro and outro of the show we were watching….

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BrunoVI

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Someone else will think that was the greatest date ever. Might take a while to find that person, but someone out there will.

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So I spent about a week texting back and forth with this guy from a dating app, we were getting a long great! Selfies were exchanged, light flirting, just general convo. We decided to meet up for dinner, met at the restaurant, ordered take out and took it to a nearby park that has beautiful scenery. I wasn’t super attracted to him but he was nice and we were getting a long fine.
But then things got a little weird. He kept trying to hold my hand. He practically forced me to wear his hoodie when I started showing signs of being cold (I had a sweater and his hoodie was not my size lol). We were still just talking, I was talking about how I had just moved to the city and was still trying to get stuff I needed/wanted for my new space. I mentioned one thing I was wanting to get next time I got paid and dude literally started trying to push me into going to Target with him so he could buy it and it just felt so strange to me! We’d only been talking a short time and this was our first date and meeting and he’s ready to just drop $50 at Target on top of dinner and the Lyft? Just odd to me! We wrap up our date and he texts me soon after stating he wished he’d kissed me, then asked if he could bring me coffee the next day (on a 30 minute bus ride lol) because of the time it would take him to bring the coffee and how a 30 minute old coffee would taste I said no thank you…after that he got even stranger, texted me about how he made so many “fumbles” during our date/talking to me and “I’ll just go, sorry”. Just bizarre. I thanked him for dinner and the company and blocked him/unmatched him.

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Suddenlyme

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Am I reading this wrong? I dont think there was anything wrong with that date. Maybe no chemistry happened between you too. But thats the point of a date: To get to know if you get along. I mostly think that he wanted to do something nice for you (the hoodie, or gift you something for your new apartment, coffee)... It might seem overly nice and a bit weird. But simple way to do is to be honest to the person and tell them that you cant accept that kind of attention from them. These are totally the kind of things my SO did for me when we first met and still does. It could have seemed weird if I didn't like him that way and if his attentions were one-sided. But to be fair about this post, I dont think there were major red flags, maybe some "fumbles" as he said but not coming from a bad place.

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Second date with a girl on bumble. We end up hooking up but she became super lethargic. Thought it was just how she had sex. I finish but she stays super lethargic. I start asking her, what's going on. She's not really responsive. I get narcan and tell her I'm going to call an ambulance and hit her with narcan. I didn't see her take anything though and we only had a couple drinks. 


I'm freaking out and try and get her to put her clothes on. Figured it'd be really bad to be in this position when cops came.  I call my ex to see what I should do and then realize that she's diabetic. I go through her purse looking for tests or something and then she wakes up enough to realize she needs sugar so I feed her candy that was in her purse.  


 When she comes to, she tells me she didn't take her medication that day and didn't wear her sensor. And that this happened before in a date! She was 39, not done young girl!  


 She then asks me what side of the bed is mine and say, both you're going home tonight!

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Penguin Panda Pop

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Dude realises woman is having a medical event but carries on anyway. Cool story, bro.

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Went on a first date with a guy, super sweet but very awkward. I spent the first hour of the date reassuring him that he was doing alright. He had a lot of anxiety, I don't think he's been on many dates. We sort of connected on the app but it felt a bit stiff, didn't think much of it as people aren't always good texters. But then, in the middle of me reassuring him again, he point blank wished we were texting instead so that he could answer better. My mind went straight back to the stiff texts.


Yeah, no... This wasn't going to work. After that, I tried to find the best time to dip out without being rude. He had a lot of confidence issues, from what I gathered. Sweet guy, but he needed to work on himself more.


Not that exciting, I also haven't had many first dates. But I consider this my worst.

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