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Some secrets are bigger than others. No matter how open and honest we might think we are, there are still some things that we prefer to keep to ourselves. After all, people are social beings, and our reputations, as well as being accepted, are vital. Naturally, wanting to fit in, we keep some information about ourselves to ourselves.
Inspired by user u/BoredHypnotist, the anonymous members of the r/AskReddit community revealed the most ‘socially unacceptable’ facts about themselves. These are things that anyone would have a hard time mentioning in public. Scroll down to see what kinds of secrets some folks have. It’s also a reminder for all of us to learn to be less judgmental and kinder to each other.
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#2
I am a woman who is willingly sterilized.
arthbach 11 months ago
Why do people think this is socially unacceptable? It's a very logical course of action if you know you don't want to have any (any more) children, or being pregnant/giving birth would damage your health etc. It's not the sort of thing a person can do without thought and consideration.
#3
I don’t take care of my hygiene as much as I should. Especially when it comes to showering and brushing my teeth. It’s not that I don’t care, but depression makes it hard as hell sometimes.
seana lammers 11 months ago
Hang in there. Hoping you can get some therapy to help you feel better.
Judging others is never going to go away. It’s something that human beings do on both conscious and automatic levels. Analyzing the behavior of the people around us is a way to recognize how we ourselves (do not) fit into our social groups. Used sparingly to make us look at our values and actions more objectively, social judgments can push us to make more positive decisions that end up being good for us and our social group.
However, there’s a darker side to making these social judgments. Some folks judge other people to feel better about themselves, hide their own flaws, or fit into society at the cost of someone else’s reputation. This sort of exclusionary behavior might make you feel safer yourself, but it can also end up destroying relationships and ostracizing individuals.
#4
I’m a 38 year old man who sleeps with stuffed animals.
#5
I don’t like talking. It’s not that I’m afraid to talk, I just prefer to stay quiet most of the time. Unfortunately, we live in a world that requires you to talk a lot if you want to make connections.
#6
I'm very very happy to get home after work and stay in bed for the rest of the day, most days of the week.
Even though we have free will, it would be naive to think that we have control over everything that happens to us. Sure, taking responsibility for our actions can empower us. That being said, there are so many things outside our control that we can’t really do anything about. It’s important to be honest with ourselves about what we can realistically affect with our actions.
For one, we cannot determine the circumstances of our birth, how we were raised, and what our genetics are. However, many people are judgmental of folks born into broken homes or who have a predisposition to mental health issues. Criticizing someone for their family‘s choices, upbringing, or genetic quirks is unfair. However, someone who’s doing their best to improve their circumstances and fight back against the problems they’ve been handed by (bad) luck is worthy of praise.
#7
I ignore texts and calls. It starts with "I'll respond later" and then after awhile I feel like it's been too long to reply so I don't. It's not malicious but I assume it feels that way to others.
#8
I have Tourette's, including coprolalia/swearing tics. I'm very lucky though, because I seem to fit in pretty well in restaurant kitchens, and I love that line of work 😄.
#9
I have no friends and am comfortable being alone. Prepared to die that way too :D.
Things like attitudes and opinions are within our power to change, however, we might feel uncomfortable doing so just to fit in with the rest of our social group. It would feel like we’re betraying our deepest values if we did so. At the same time, having completely different beliefs than the majority of your social circle can make life very difficult. This might be why some folks choose to hide their true feelings—they don’t want to face rejection or take part in countless arguments.
What kind of behavior is deemed socially (un)acceptable is going to depend entirely on your culture and social circle. Something celebrated in your hometown might be seen as bizarre in a big city or even downright ‘shameful’ in another country.
#10
I had a baby at 17, got pregnant again a few years later, and could not afford another child. My sibling, who could not have children, adopted my baby.
setsuriseikou 11 months ago
As long as you, your sibling and the kids are happy now, I see no problem whatsoever
#11
I have no idea how to manage friendships.
I have friends and I'm friendly....
But sometimes I forget to text back and if they don't call or re text I could go months with no contact.
Unless I find something funny to share then I'm sending it to everyone.
#12
I like candy corn.
Javelina Poppers 11 months ago
I have been known to eat circus peanuts, you know the marshmallow confection that comes pre-stale in a bag.
Social norms change over time, too. Behaviors that seem odd to us now might have been perfectly fine decades or even centuries ago. On the flip side, what was once judged in the past might be mundanely accepted in this day and age. Social norms aren’t static. While we can guess what might be deemed acceptable in the future, we can never be certain—cultures can change in very unpredictable ways.
If you feel like opening up anonymously, why not share the most socially unacceptable facts about yourselves, dear Pandas? What do you think we can all do to be less judgmental and more accepting of other people? Has anyone revealed a secret about themselves that fundamentally changed how you looked at them? Tell us all about it in the comments.
#13
That I come off as “cold” when I’m not masking
But man….sometimes I really am tired of masking. My reactions feel so fake to me and I can’t stand it. But everyone else seems to love it so…whatever ig.
#14
I used to practice facial expressions as a child because i was always told i was robotic and expressionless(by my parents, no less) and studied how the popular kids at school acted so i could make friends. i think i’m autistic but i’m scared sometimes that people would just assume i’m a psychopath.
iamjusthereforthecruise 11 months ago
my parents told me i am expressionless more like cold because i hardly smile, i've had lectures from my parents, relatives, heck even a teacher once. My friends even told me that they taught i would be a bully when we first met. i consider smiling for no reason a chore, especially when i have to do it because i'm forced, but i can't help it
Alexandra 11 months ago
This makes me think of women who are told by men that they should 'smile': apparently it's even more incumbent for women to smile than for men. One woman was so fed up that she routinely would answer to the umpteenth request for a smile that her husband/mother/father/sibling just died, just to wipe off that sanctimonious smile from the other person's face.
Load More Replies...
Bantam_Wyvern (she/her) 10 months ago
You’ll find some people who know when you’re happy, even without smiling (and how to make you happy!) if you haven’t already!
usernameorwhatever 11 months ago
Im autistic, and practicing facial expressions is not unheard of with this diagnosis. I used to do that by mirroring other people. My friends call me a “cyborg” lovingly just because I don’t understand social things. If you’re trying desperately to express feelings, it seems more of a “struggling to express emotions” thing than a “no emotions” thing. Before I got diagnosed, I also was scared I could be a psychopath. (Not that being psychopathic is a bad thing on its own)
XanthippeⓐWulf🇨🇦️️🇬🇧 11 months ago (edited)
Yes and yes. I was diagnosed very early on, so there was no question, but masking & mirroring is almost like a way to cope. People seem to desperately need you to emote to feel comfortable around you, and you feel like you desperately need to emote so that people get off your a*s about your RBF. It can be exhausting 😔. I am in an adult social group with a lot of different types of neurodiverse people and it's helped a whole lot, but yeah, I completely get where you are coming from.
Load More Replies... Gozer LeGozerian 11 months ago
I did that too and I'm not autistic. See, it's not exclusive to a diagnosis.
detective miller's hat 11 months ago
I learned to be totally cold and emotionless by the time I was 5 because it was the safest way to act around my mother :/
Somethingpenguin 11 months ago
I don't show expression to my parents anymore, because i've trained my mind to not show 'weakness' to my parents as they use that as an excuse to yell at me.
Scott Wilkins 11 months ago
Let's say you are? MOST sociopaths are harmless and even decent people. Not having the same emotions or reactions doesn't automatically make you harmful.
Max Fox 11 months ago
You obviously have absolutely no idea what "sociopath" actually means. Typical traits of a sociopath: disregards others feelings, aggressive and impulsive, manipulative, controlling and a compulsive liar. Yep, totally sounds "harmless". Sociopaths have most of the same emotions as other people. They can feel happiness, sadness, fright, anticipation, anger, and such. What they don't have is empathy or guilt, nor do they care at all about anybody but themselves. None are decent people, but a person who is really good at being manipulative can convince a lot of people that they are "decent" until it's too late.
Kelly Scott 11 months ago
I have RBF. Once I met a customer when I wasn't at work and he gave me that super annoying "You should smile!" line. I told him when I wasn't working, I wasn't being paid to shine.
Grace Knowlton 11 months ago
I learned that I am autistic and it is a blessing after being the weird kid my whole life
David Edwards 11 months ago
It’s very possible you could be on the spectrum. You’d be surprised who is
Jazz 11 months ago (edited)
The autism and psychopath link was made by the man who coined the term Asperger’s and is being pushed out into society by “charities” that are “helping” and “informing” like Autism Speaks. I swear, they make us seem like super villains, but we are not. And the puzzle piece symbol they use is wrong, bc there is nothing missing from us. We are all human, and just because we think differently does not mean we are alien. They teach inclusivity, yet most of the time people tend to forget those with special needs. There are many good resources like Embrace-autism.com and others I can’t think of at the moment. Research before you judge, people.
KillerKiwi 11 months ago
Yeah, I have a really bad RBF. My mom says I look like a bored hot dog.😬
Katherine Forest 11 months ago
It's called face yoga. It's completely normal excercise and it helps everyone improve their expressions for the purposes of communication with other members of our species. It has helped a lot with my depression and social anxiety because I can now better express myself to others.
dire wolf 11 months ago
I have resting "I could gut you like a fish then go out for a lovely dinner with friends and no one would ever imagine" face and have had since my teen years. As a child, I was told by class mates and others that I smiped too much, so I changed it. Frankly, it's been an advantage!
Gozer LeGozerian 11 months ago
Not everything is a diagnosis. I really wish people would quit this self diagnosing fad.
Wondering Alice 11 months ago
My teachers insisted to my parents I was incapable of expressing emotions - which they knew to be untrue because I did at home. My default face is still blank. I work in education, a while ago I invited 2 ND teens to come practice expressions with me, we had fun. I opened it up - and a fair few who came are not ND. I think between so much interaction with people starting at phones along with a few years wareing masks has left a lot of people finding this hard. I'm often saddened by the offhanded way adults make too big a deal out of such things to youngsters - in my mind it is they who lack empathy rather than the kids who are left feeling at best insecure by having their ability to express emotions correctly questioned.
BlackCatWithWhiteSocks 11 months ago
I m aspergers. I practice facial expressions. At work they call me android . I sometimes I just mirror people and also pretend emotions. Thats mostly with the outside world. In my safe, personal life, I m comfortable
El Dee 11 months ago
Some people's faces sit such that they look like they are smiling or happy when their face is at rest. We are drawn to those people but their natural expression is not an indicator of their mood. On the other hand some people have what they call Resting B***h Face which puts people off. Likewise the facial expression is not an indicator of their mood. We see people and we judge based on that before speaking or getting to know them. If you realise early enough you have RBF you can consciously learn to have a different expression so that others will perceive you in a more positive way..
#15
I'm a girl and I grow out my leg hair due to being harassed by an 80 year old man who said I had "pretty legs" when I was 11, so I guess I decided that just never going to happen again.
#16
I would deliberately pretend that i don’t hear people calling me or asking me stuff in social situations. Also in a crowd when people are chitchatting in a circle, i zone out if im not interested.
iamjusthereforthecruise 11 months ago
I'm just like you, You're just like me...it's something anyone can see
#17
Being borderline sociopathic for a profession
I've become "jaded" to seeing death, the mentally perturbed, physically traumatic injuries that you would only see in movies, even the downright depressing scenes, the list goes on.
The type of things people should only have to witness behind their screens or even only once in there life; I've adjusted to seeing in person on a weekly basis. It's to the point I can't call myself normal as I end up laughing to the most f****d up jokes.
Call it dark humor or a "coping mechanism" but if the event just happened, normal people would be mortified.
Its a bittersweet profession as a paramedic with high call volumes. I get a peek into everyones emergencies when they're at their lowest and often times these calls rub off on us (even the bs calls), but at the end of the day when s**t hits the fan, It's their emergency and not ours.
Better yet we have a hand in helping them physically and mentally. I have to tell people their loved ones are gone, but I get to convey it in the best way to let them heal the fastest. I have people who try to commit s*****e, but I get to save them when they or a loved one makes the call. I have people living the s**ttiest day of their life, but knowing it would've been their last if I hadn't came, makes it worthwhile.
#18
I’ll leave. I’ll just go home and love it.
#19
My parents are cousins. Nobody (outside the family) knows.
No adverse effect on the kids (although I AM on Reddit a lot…).
#20
I was one of the last kids to have ever been a patient in an insane asylum here in the US. The one I was in closed down in 1993.
#21
I'm fat.
#22
I hate working but that doesn’t mean i’m lazy. I live my life by doing a bunch of side huddles and love it. I make about $10k/year but I have everything i need: food, shelter, and a wonderful community. I “work” about two months a year but otherwise i lay on the beach with a joint in my hand and a cat on my lap.
#24
I'm autistic, and nine times out of ten i forgot that when people ask me for my opinion or input on something that they actually want the opinion that caters to theirs.
#25
I have taken human lives. Sure, during military service, but just the same.
Nonplussed Puss 11 months ago
I did a combat tour, and never once fired my weapon in anger. I am much more glad of that now than I was then.
#26
I stare blankly a lot during conversations. Like as if I'm zoned out, but I'm paying full attention. Especially if it's a particularly long conversation, I just can't be bothered to keep up with constant eye contact.
iamjusthereforthecruise 11 months ago
Same, except eye contact, i can't keep eye contact to save my life even with close people
#28
I was in a mental health hospital and I still have regular emotional breakdowns.
Ariom Dahl 11 months ago
I hope you have access to help and support when you need it. ((virtual hugs))
#29
I always have a b***h face but the second someone smiles at me, my whole minute was made.
iamjusthereforthecruise 11 months ago
dude my default facial expression is a cold face, and even my happy or angry or annoyed reactions are minimal, people who are close to me are the ones who actually notice, but i still smile a lot though
#30
I am a people pleaser and have learned how to chameleon into almost any social situation. I don’t know who I am so my dating life is: becoming acceptable and try to be the perfect person to my partner so they fall in love with me, then I break and say this isn’t working for me, leaving them in ruins. I hate myself for it but I don’t know how to connect otherwise.
What do you think ?
martin734 11 months ago
I'm part of an occasional throuple. We spend a couple of weekends a month together as well as occasional nights and we go on holiday together. Apart from that we have our own separate lives and relationships. It has worked perfectly well for the last 10 years.
Ample Aardvark 11 months ago
As long as the relationships outside the throuple are aware and don't mind, nothing wrong with it
Load More Replies... martin734 11 months ago
I am single and apart from our throuple, i only have casual relationships, so I rarely tell anyone who doesn't ask directly and S and B are a polyamorous couple who, outside of the throuple, only have casual partners and non-sexual friendships and who they tell about our relationship is their business.
Quwiyint 11 months ago
A lot of these posts are things that a very large amount of people do/say/think/feel, but just don't talk about. I'll chime in with mine cause why not. I downvote every political comments I see if it's on a non-politically centered article, regardless if what is said is stuff I agree or disagree with. It's unnecessary to make a politically driven comment on an article that isn't centered around such topics.
Anna Ekberg 11 months ago
One socially unacceptable thing in the hispanic community is cutting toxic family out of your life. Family means everything in the hispanic culture/community. Cutting toxic family out of your life is sometimes necessary for your own mental health but people still look down on you for not putting up with it cause they are family you know.
Gavin Johnson 11 months ago
I grew up as a life and soul of the party guy, I enjoyed leadership roles, I was gregarious. Mental health crashed, I lost my marriage, I attempted suicide more than once, I lost all of my confidence and hid away like a hermit. Now I’ve lost that gregarious character I haven’t a clue who I am or how to function around people. I have zero motivation and I’ve zero ambition. My meds keep me alive and I’m a great actor, no one would know if I was good, bad or indifferent underneath, I just play the role that’s expected of me, I’m not sure who I am or how to be the ‘right’ me.
Bartlet for World Domination 11 months ago
That suсks like a motherfuсker :( But you're here, and we like you.
Load More Replies... censorshipsucks 11 months ago
you just need to find your new tribe. Maybe autistics? They will be able to enage with the above content in a non judgy way.
CanadianDimes 11 months ago (edited)
I am indifferent to cats. I don’t hate them, I’m never mean to them, I just don’t care about them even a little. I find them boring and I don’t understand why people love them so much. I get that people do - I’m *not* criticizing that, I just don’t understand it. I do like dogs, but not enough to have one, so it’s not like I’m a super dog, anti-cat person.
Mrs.C 11 months ago
I don't like cats. I don't hate them, abuse them, or neglect them, I just don't like them. I don't understand the draw. Kittens are cute and fun to watch, but once they grow up, I'm not interested.
Load More Replies... censorshipsucks 11 months ago
I can explain it. It's basically like a fluffy small version of a misanthropist. If like me you generally despise humanity, a cat is your animal. It basically considers things in three categories: something to smack, something to sleep on, and something irrelevant. I like the DGAF vibe.
Bartlet for World Domination 11 months ago
I am one of these monsters who take their shoes off in airplanes.
CanadianDimes 11 months ago
As long as you’re wearing socks, I see no problem. I do the same. But no socks? That’s 🤮- for everyone! I don’t want my bare feet on gross airplane carpet (also they’d freeze)
Load More Replies... Becky Samuel 11 months ago
Me too. I don't care what people wanna think. Of course, I have the advantage of not flying with very many Americans - most Europeans and Asians don't seem to care either way because it's none of their darn business.
Tobias Reaper 11 months ago
i dont like being around groups of people for to long it starts to feel overwhelming for me
censorshipsucks 11 months ago
social phobia or ASD. Get checked. PS you are ok, just different.
Aballi 11 months ago
Is anyone else unable to read these posts? I'm on the Bored Panda app, and it shows only one line of text above the photo. I have to guess what the rest of the post says...haha.
Tyranamar Seuss 11 months ago
That was happening to me too. I had to go to chrome and stop using the app. I even took the time to actually complain to them BP has done nothing to fix it. Which sucks bc when you use the web instead of the app the lag from their quadrillion adds is worse.
Load More Replies... Aballi 11 months ago
Yeah that sucks! I’ve continued using the app because I prefer it, but if I want to read stories like the ones in this post, I have to open Bored Panda on the web. Annoying!! I’m annoyed!! Although I am also grateful that this is one of the problems in my life right now. It could be SO MUCH worse. Still, Bored Panda, fix the app!!!
Raphapablap 11 months ago
I don't relate to people and I can never put myself in their situation unless it has happened to me. For example, my partner's father died and I didn't know how to feel or how to comfort her as my parents are both still alive. I feign interest in other people's lives so that it doesn't seem rude but I'd rather never ask any questions in the first place.
martin734 11 months ago
I'm part of an occasional throuple. We spend a couple of weekends a month together as well as occasional nights and we go on holiday together. Apart from that we have our own separate lives and relationships. It has worked perfectly well for the last 10 years.
Ample Aardvark 11 months ago
As long as the relationships outside the throuple are aware and don't mind, nothing wrong with it
Load More Replies... martin734 11 months ago
I am single and apart from our throuple, i only have casual relationships, so I rarely tell anyone who doesn't ask directly and S and B are a polyamorous couple who, outside of the throuple, only have casual partners and non-sexual friendships and who they tell about our relationship is their business.
Quwiyint 11 months ago
A lot of these posts are things that a very large amount of people do/say/think/feel, but just don't talk about. I'll chime in with mine cause why not. I downvote every political comments I see if it's on a non-politically centered article, regardless if what is said is stuff I agree or disagree with. It's unnecessary to make a politically driven comment on an article that isn't centered around such topics.
Anna Ekberg 11 months ago
One socially unacceptable thing in the hispanic community is cutting toxic family out of your life. Family means everything in the hispanic culture/community. Cutting toxic family out of your life is sometimes necessary for your own mental health but people still look down on you for not putting up with it cause they are family you know.
Gavin Johnson 11 months ago
I grew up as a life and soul of the party guy, I enjoyed leadership roles, I was gregarious. Mental health crashed, I lost my marriage, I attempted suicide more than once, I lost all of my confidence and hid away like a hermit. Now I’ve lost that gregarious character I haven’t a clue who I am or how to function around people. I have zero motivation and I’ve zero ambition. My meds keep me alive and I’m a great actor, no one would know if I was good, bad or indifferent underneath, I just play the role that’s expected of me, I’m not sure who I am or how to be the ‘right’ me.
Bartlet for World Domination 11 months ago
That suсks like a motherfuсker :( But you're here, and we like you.
Load More Replies... censorshipsucks 11 months ago
you just need to find your new tribe. Maybe autistics? They will be able to enage with the above content in a non judgy way.
CanadianDimes 11 months ago (edited)
I am indifferent to cats. I don’t hate them, I’m never mean to them, I just don’t care about them even a little. I find them boring and I don’t understand why people love them so much. I get that people do - I’m *not* criticizing that, I just don’t understand it. I do like dogs, but not enough to have one, so it’s not like I’m a super dog, anti-cat person.
Mrs.C 11 months ago
I don't like cats. I don't hate them, abuse them, or neglect them, I just don't like them. I don't understand the draw. Kittens are cute and fun to watch, but once they grow up, I'm not interested.
Load More Replies... censorshipsucks 11 months ago
I can explain it. It's basically like a fluffy small version of a misanthropist. If like me you generally despise humanity, a cat is your animal. It basically considers things in three categories: something to smack, something to sleep on, and something irrelevant. I like the DGAF vibe.
Bartlet for World Domination 11 months ago
I am one of these monsters who take their shoes off in airplanes.
CanadianDimes 11 months ago
As long as you’re wearing socks, I see no problem. I do the same. But no socks? That’s 🤮- for everyone! I don’t want my bare feet on gross airplane carpet (also they’d freeze)
Load More Replies... Becky Samuel 11 months ago
Me too. I don't care what people wanna think. Of course, I have the advantage of not flying with very many Americans - most Europeans and Asians don't seem to care either way because it's none of their darn business.
Tobias Reaper 11 months ago
i dont like being around groups of people for to long it starts to feel overwhelming for me
censorshipsucks 11 months ago
social phobia or ASD. Get checked. PS you are ok, just different.
Aballi 11 months ago
Is anyone else unable to read these posts? I'm on the Bored Panda app, and it shows only one line of text above the photo. I have to guess what the rest of the post says...haha.
Tyranamar Seuss 11 months ago
That was happening to me too. I had to go to chrome and stop using the app. I even took the time to actually complain to them BP has done nothing to fix it. Which sucks bc when you use the web instead of the app the lag from their quadrillion adds is worse.
Load More Replies... Aballi 11 months ago
Yeah that sucks! I’ve continued using the app because I prefer it, but if I want to read stories like the ones in this post, I have to open Bored Panda on the web. Annoying!! I’m annoyed!! Although I am also grateful that this is one of the problems in my life right now. It could be SO MUCH worse. Still, Bored Panda, fix the app!!!
Raphapablap 11 months ago
I don't relate to people and I can never put myself in their situation unless it has happened to me. For example, my partner's father died and I didn't know how to feel or how to comfort her as my parents are both still alive. I feign interest in other people's lives so that it doesn't seem rude but I'd rather never ask any questions in the first place.
Related on Bored Panda
