Join the Fun!

Some days I want to build a cabin in the middle of nowhere, and just vanish.

Nobody ragging on me for my looks, nobody complaining that the job they're underpaying me for isn't done as fast as they want.

No more torturing myself with impossible dreams of a better life, with a wife and kids, and a dog and 2 cars in the garage.

Just me, in the damned woods, alone. No more scumbags saying "it's God's will" whenever something bad happens. It's all so exhausting.

uwillnotgotospace Report

Final score:

255points

POST

Dani M 1 year ago

I´ve dreamt of my cabin in the woods for ages... there is a large vegetable garden, chickens, donkeys! lots of hard work and absolute peace

70points

Someone attacked me in a park late at night and I found a drug needle somebody left behind and I stabbed him in the eye and ran, I have never seen him since then and I pray I never do.

RedditWithKidd , Alex Fu Report

Final score:

212points

POST

Leoninus Fate 1 year ago

never feel guilty for surviving, The other person made their choice before you did

60points

“Deciding whether to disclose a secret or keep it to oneself can be quite a dilemma,” Laura said. According to her, “a helpful approach is to evaluate the possible outcomes of revealing the secret compared to the emotional strain of holding onto it,” Laura told us.

Laura argues that if holding the secret is causing considerable distress, anxiety, or remorse, it might be helpful to share it with a reliable person. “However, if disclosing the secret might result in severe consequences for you or others involved, keeping it might be the better option,” she added.

Moreover, your choice whether to reveal your secret should depend on a thorough evaluation of potential consequences and your emotional well-being.

A few people are aware that someone I was very close to commited suicide in 2014. He was the kindest man, and always asked about me and he'd travel two hours by train just to meet me for a cup of tea and a slice of cake. He was someone so consistently there for me, I never considered the possibility of him one day not being there, and he seemed really happy; everything was "the best", every joke was the funniest he'd ever heard and every brownie was the gooiest.

What I don't tell anyone is that the few days leading up to his departure, I had several missed calls from him, watched one of the calls ring without answering, and recieved a message from him, pleading that I call him when I had the chance. I had many chances, but I didn't call him.

I woke up later that week to a message that, once pasted onto a Word document, took me two days to read. He wrote to me about his life, how insignificant he felt, how wonderful I am and then ended it with an apology. I then recieved an email from his mother, informing me he had jumped in front of a moving train.

I've never been a very sociable person. I've always been caring and I try to do the right thing, but for the last eight years I've stopped keeping kind thoughts to myself. The reason I check in on everyone, bake cakes and answer my phone is all my way of keeping a piece of him alive.

Sometimes the absence of kindness can be as damaging as malice - I understand that now, and I'm so deeply sorry I didn't realise it sooner. If you meet people in life who are enthusiastic, and living every day like it's their last, it might be, so I promise to always pick up. I know it's too late now, and I will live with the guilt for the rest of my life, but I'm okay with that if it means he's not forgotten about.

My dad told me that in the afterlife, everyone will be resurrected perfect. So, it's comforting to know I'll recognise him, because he was a great friend, and perfect in every way. I hope I get to ask him for forgiveness.

AboutToTakeANap Report

Final score:

202points

POST

KittyGotClaws 1 year ago

Your story moved me very much. You didn't say why you never answered his calls, other than you've never been a sociable person; it sounds like the tragedy your friend went through motivated you into being a better pension.

66points

I got revenge on an old high school bully on the last day of school by slashing all 4 of his car tires. I even saw him expressing rage on wtf happened to his car as I left, smiling to myself and thinking "Justice is served". And another bully by stuffing her backpack full of live roaches. Nope, still don't regret it. They hurt me, so I attacked back. Tug on the tail of a shark, you get bit.

Knightmare560 , Marufish Report

Final score:

202points

POST

parmadillo 1 year ago

Tug on the tail of a shark, you get roaches

64points

throw_awayla33 , cottonbro studio Report

I accidentality killed a person while protecting myself. It haunts me to this day. I am not guilty of anything.

Final score:

189points

POST

Miz Chelle 1 year ago

Human survival instincts cannot be separated from any other survival instincts in the wild. You are always the most important animal out there. Protection of life is precious in all forms. ❤️

80points

We also wondered if it is wise to keep secrets from your partner. The family law expert told us that it’s crucial to understand the difference between privacy and secrecy in a relationship. “Privacy involves maintaining personal boundaries and a sense of individuality, while secrecy can potentially harm the relationship.”

Not so dark, but I hope my step dad breaks it off with my mom. She is physically and emotionally abusive to him but they act like it’s a normal thing couples do. It would be awful because I like him, but I want him to be happy.

frog-do-be-grillin , Alex Green Report

Final score:

178points

POST

1AlphaGeek1 1 year ago

You are a good person. Kudos.

90points

Oneofthemuse , Karolina Grabowska Report

I don't go to the doctor about pains and hurts because I secretly hope they will eventually kill me. I know it's selfish.

Final score:

177points

POST

My O My 1 year ago

Sad. Sad is what it is

54points

Wooden_Artist_2000 Report

I gave my baby nephew a noisy toy because I was having a petty fight with my sister.

Final score:

166points

POST

vogonpoet 1 year ago

My sister bought me noisy toys for my kids. Took my revenge and bought a fart gun that was loud and needed no batteries. It was a winner with my nephew and my BIL. I kind of wish I'd bought two, because it not only backfired, but was an awesome toy. I would use it daily to annoy my teens.

56points

“When deciding whether to keep a secret from your partner, evaluate the secret's nature and potential consequences for your relationship. Some secrets can be harmful, especially if they involve deception, betrayal, or a breach of trust. Hiding these types of secrets from your partner is never a good idea in these circumstances,” Laura explained.

However, she added, not all secrets directly affect your partner or the relationship. “In cases where the information pertains to personal privacy, it may be acceptable to keep the secret without causing harm to your relationship.”

#10

I’ve smoked for almost 40 years. I’m a secret smoker - I rarely smoke in public and never at work so only my husband knows I smoke a pack a day and have almost my entire life. I just quit 15 days ago! The craving are killing me at times but I feel so much better. Smoking was so embarrassing to me - it’s just so stupid and unnecessary yet I kept telling on doing it for way to many years. Here’s to my new smoke-free life!

CranberryCakes Report

Final score:

165points

POST

Midnightoil 1 year ago

Those people at work know you smoke. Anyone who smokes, even outside with a coat type cover/barrier still smells like cigarette smoke. I never smoked and had coworkers insist because they smoked outside there was no residual smell. There is. Great you stopped smoking for your health. It is expensive. Hang in there!

82points

#11

I want my brother and his fiance to lose everything they have, including custody and right to see, their kids. They are awful, extremely manipulative people who took full advantage (financially, mentally, emotionally) of my elderly parents.

I hate them with every fiber of my being.

Golfball_whacker_guy , T Leish Report

Final score:

160points

POST

Rivers of Belief 1 year ago

Painful and difficult for sure. Not sure how people can sleep at night knowing what they have done.

23points

#12

Not really "dark" but just... heartbreaking.

I grew up in a charismatic evangelical cult. I was physically (not sexually) assaulted by the pastor and several church-goers in an "exorcism" to cure my depression and suicidal thoughts. It didn't work obviously. I was 16 or 17 and tried to kms pretty soon after (but failed obviously otherwise this comment wouldn't exist). After my failed attempt, I spent weeks and weeks crying on the phone to suicide helpline and trans helpline at night. I often begged for them to just let me cry to them and vent, not to call authorities as it would just make things worse for me instead of better.

My sister actually found me one night because I cried so hard that I puked (I was in the bathroom because it was the safest and quietest place for me to call that late). She was between 14-15 at the time. I just remember she was asking if I was okay, and it was very obvious that i wasn't. She actually comforted me a lot. I can't remember what she said, all I remember is her kindness and her concern knowing how badly I wanted to kill myself and how much I hated myself. She has always been my biggest support.

6 years later, we both escaped our parents (they're horrible horrible people who believe the cult did nothing wrong and still attend the church I was assaulted at). I've been nearly a year no-contact with them, meanwhile she still talks to them from time to time but she maintains firm boundaries and im so beyond proud of her for that.

I'm 22 now and had my first birthday without them recently- my sister made me a cake and got me a present and we had a get together. I didn't tell her then but I was pretty sad the whole day. not a single happy birthday from any of my family, and while I wanted it that way and there's really no way for any of them to get in touch with me... I still miss my parents.

I'm still just a scared kid who wants his mommy and daddy. I want my dad to tell me he's proud of me instead of what a fuckup I am and (pardon my language) how "r-t-rded" I am and how I'll never hold a job down. I want my mom to tell me I'm perfect the way I am and she will love me no matter what.
I dealt with heavy drug use too as a result of trauma and fear of going to therapy (yes I had and still kind of have that fear). I've been clean and sober for five months but some days... I just remember everything and I start craving again. I'm just thankful I don't know other dealers because I'd have OD'd for the umpteenth time by now.

but I got myself where i am today... all without my parents. all without my family. I did that.

I guess thats my dark secret.

afinnegan2000 Report

Final score:

156points

POST

Leoninus Fate 1 year ago

I want you to know Someone is proud of you, It might not mean much to anyone or you, but YOU MAKE ME PROUD, I hope it offers you a tiny bit of comfort that to this man, this father, that even tho you are not my own, or adopted child, I AM PROUD OF YOU

123points

It’s also important to note that keeping a secret for one's entire life can present a significant burden, “depending on the secret's nature and its emotional repercussions.” Laura explained that for some individuals, the pressure of holding a secret can result in ongoing stress, anxiety, and mental health problems.

#13

I isolate myself from people and then get mad about it later on.

OkiNoProblem , Anna Shvets Report

Final score:

147points

POST

Take me to dinner first 1 year ago

Ugh that hits hard

42points

#14

Everyone is fighting silent battles, I hope everyone receives the love and care that we all deserves as HUMAN BEINGS!❤️ I hope everyone finds the peace that we all search for.

WANACWaac Report

Final score:

143points

POST

Rivers of Belief 1 year ago

Love this for sure

25points

Conscious_Ad_7902 , Polina Tankilevitch Report

#15

I suffered from HORRIFIC intrusive thoughts due to OCD and for 28yrs I thought something was wrong with me. That I may end up being a predator/murderer/psycho (even though all of the thoughts made me physically sick). I was genuinely scared to babysit my 2yo nephew alone because what if I accidentally threw him down the stairs? I finally opened up to my therapist and she helped me work through it all and I'm not triggered anymore and I can finally live peacefully

Final score:

133points

POST

Leoninus Fate 1 year ago

This has happened to me, Talking and letting someone know was the best thing to do

28points

RenfieldOnRealityTv , Engin Akyurt Report

“In such instances, confiding in a trusted friend or a mental health expert can offer valuable relief and support. Conversely, if the secret isn't causing substantial emotional turmoil, it might be feasible to hold onto it for the rest of your life,” Laura concluded.

#16

I have a really difficult time connecting to and understanding other people. I’m never cruel about it. I just don’t feel connected to anyone. It hurts me. I don’t let it hurt anyone else.

Final score:

131points

POST

Admiral Graf Spee 1 year ago

I also find it hard connecting to people

43points

#17

i have terrible memory issues, and no matter what i do to keep things on track (meds, planners, reminders, alarms, etc) things still slip through the cracks. it makes me feel terrible bc i hate the disappointed or even frustrated look i get when i ask a question and should cLEARLY know the answer. it’s especially difficult when people end up thinking i don’t care, bc “if you cared then you’d remember”
i care so much, i never want to ask what we planned for tomorrow (again) and when your birthday is (again, despite attending the party last year). it just gets really hard to juggle everything all the time

Edit: thank you for all the comments!! ive since been diagnosed with adhd and am on medication LMAO but it makes me feel better that i wasn’t alone in this :) and i’ll be taking into account the other medical advice some mentioned. thanks and love u all!

Echo_was_slain , Andrew Neel Report

Final score:

127points

POST

KittyGotClaws 1 year ago

Glad you found the solution to your health issue. People, if you're suffering, go see a doctor! Don't suffer in silence and frustration.

29points

#18

When I was seven I was home alone. I called 911 due to a house fire that consumed half the house and they found me outside. My mother (who was at work, I was a latchkey kid) was told by the fire department that it was an electrical fire.

In truth, I had a lighter and was fascinated by fire. I was burning the little tassles at the end of the blanket on my bed, putting them out before it caught the whole blanket on fire... Until I wasn't able to and the whole bed caught fire. An electrical outlet shorted out from the heat, which caused the firemen to think that was the cause.

I'm 40 now. My mother still doesn't know the truth and I still remember it all vividly, complete with the heat on my face as I tried in vain to put out the bed.

Dyerdon , Pixabay Report

Final score:

116points

POST

XenoMurph 1 year ago

Don't tell her, it will serve no purpose.

125points

#19

Being alive is EXHAUSTING. I have chronic pain issues and a delightful combo of anxiety and depression, and having to hold down a job, care for myself, and keep my home not-gross takes up all my energy.

My dog keeps me hanging on. As soon as I get over my fear of death, I'm out of here.

stephj Report

Final score:

116points

POST

Dumpsterbaby 1 year ago

Sadly I feel the same way. I just want out

50points

#20

I'm happy my moms ex died.

Dude was a f*****g menace. Frequently had outbursts where he would destroy our apartment or threaten my siblings or my mom. His family and friends all thought he was harmless, but didn't want to deal with him. One day he was having another meltdown, my mom and siblings were hiding in my room and I was holding the door shut while he was trying to get in so I called the police. Dude blamed me for years after that and targeted me a lot.
One day some neighbor boys tried to assault me and when I mentioned it he convinced himself that I must've lead those boys on and kept inviting them over. I also had to take care of him when he shattered the bones in his arm and hand and traveling nurses refused to come to our house to flush his IV. I Imagine he was terrible to them too.
I have so many stories about this guy. I was around 22 when he died and I was genuinely happy that he died.
I thought I was kinda over it but once I had kids I've started to become angry with every adult involved. I couldn't imagine putting my own kids in those situations.

Final score:

106points

POST

Rivers of Belief 1 year ago

So agreed

21points

#21

I worked on SpongeBob SquarePants: The Yellow Avenger, and know for a fact that the game cannot be 100% completed on the DS version (99% max). Not my fault but I hate that it shipped like that and feel sorry for anyone who's seriously tried.

SoftShoeShuffle , Tantalus Media Report

Final score:

89points

POST

KittyGotClaws 1 year ago

Knowing that your conscious bothers you about this makes you a decent person in my eyes. Tome to let it go, tho.

35points

#22

I don't feel the want to do anything. I feel no excitement for future dates or events, I'm not excited or looking forward to anything except greedy s**t like getting money or objects. I'm not even materialistic, it's just like my brain is looking for shortcuts to make me feel some sort of excitement and so it looks for objects that I want. This makes me feel f*****g horrible.

My girlfriend asks me to play video games or hang out with her and I always do but I never look forward to it until we actually do something. I always enjoy my time with her but I can't get hyped up to do anything.

I've heard of this with older people but I'm only 18 and I'm horrified, I need this motivation.

sevincole , Karolina Grabowska Report

Final score:

87points

POST

Alexandra 1 year ago

Sounds like a depression....please talk to someone!

90points

AliJanx 1 year ago

I agree. Sounds like depression. Please get help...

0points

Leoninus Fate 1 year ago

all signs of depression, Please dont be scared to talk to someone, and if they don't listen, talk to another and another, do not give up, it might not feel or seem like it gets better but Trust me It will

13points

Spongebob Sadpants 1 year ago

Because of my depression I need constant distractions to keep me stable. I spend all day either watching movies or youtube. It helps but I feel sad all the time. Getting dogs helped me a lot.

9points

Rivers of Belief 1 year ago

Yes talk to someone. You are definitely not alone with your feelings. I have felt the same way too. I waited a long time to get help and the old saying "if I could go back in time"

6points

Miz Chelle 1 year ago

I feel this, but not in the same way, but very deeply. It sounds like depression and it is an intense struggle. But I know you can bear it and come out on top. Please try to experience excitement and if it is not your cup of tea, get them to experience what makes YOU excited and happpy!

5points

OmBoyGanesh 1 year ago (edited)

Anhedonia can be secondary to depression or an anxiety disorder or can be a primary depression or psychotic diagnosis. It’s often secondary to opioid dependency. The vast majority of kids who use opiates recreationally while they’re still developing will have some level of anhedonia. Here is the C/V from Wikipedia: - “Anhedonia is diverse array of deficits in hedonic function, including reduced motivation or ability to experience pleasure. While earlier definitions emphasized the inability to experience pleasure, anhedonia is currently used by researchers to refer to reduced motivation, reduced anticipatory pleasure (wanting), reduced consummatory pleasure (liking), and deficits in reinforcement learning.”

5points

Darmon Hackmiester 1 year ago

Hear you, I’m 66. If you find your motivation, tell me how

3points

Carole Reid 1 year ago

Wow.

0points

Trainingfortheballetpotteh🇺🇦 1 year ago

this hits so close to home. im only 13 and i feel like life is just the same thing over and over, and i also try to make shortcuts to happinness, like i tell myself "in one week ill see my best friend, before i know it, it will happen!" and after it happends, i tell myself to look forward to the next fun thing. it honestly sucks because i cant really enjoy life.

3points

Performingyak 1 year ago

Talk to a Gp or therapist about it. You are so young but depression doesn't discriminate. Get on top of it now rather than leaving it until it becomes unbearable. I hope you can find the help you need to fully enjoy life x

1point

Teenage Mutant Grammar Ninja 1 year ago

Like Alexandra below me said, this could be a sign of depression. It’s common in the early developmental stages to lose interest in the things you formerly lived or to just not enjoy anything anymore. I’d talk to a professional about it and see what they think. Hope this helps! ❤️

1point

Michelle Forbes 1 year ago

That sounds just like myself. The only pro out of it is, is that nothing makes me nervous. I don't stress about meeting new people etc. It's like I feel nothing.

1point

Jenna Shannon 1 year ago

Sounds like ADHD the dopamine gets lost on the way to the receptors so often struggle to find get excited about things hence the money and material things for quick dopamine hits

0points

Ariadne Toms 1 year ago

Hello....you have depression

0points

Doodles1983 1 year ago

Google dysthymia.

0points

Abbigail 1 year ago

Okay I’m kinda glad this person said something and reading the comments because I’ve been struggling with the exact same thing

0points

Carla Campbell 1 year ago

You are definitely depressed. Please get medical help. I'm rooting for you!

0points

Lesley Zed 1 year ago

You are just being a normal teenager. Don’t believe all the hype that everyone is happy or even remotely content. Not feeling hyped until an actual event occurs is perfectly normal.😉👍🏻

0points

anne sane 1 year ago

To all those saying to OP to just talk to someone/ie: a doctor: when you feel as they describe it is close to impossible to care enough, motivate yourself enough to seek help, bc you Just. Dont. Care. It's aweful.

0points

Haley Hansen 1 year ago

I feel like this too! I'm 19 and have struggled with depression and ADHD for some years, both of which can seriously drain any feelings of motivation. anyone who feels like this, know that you're not alone and it's not a personal fault of yours. It does get better, not all at once, but there will come a day that you'll realize "huh, I'm a lot better than I used to be"

0points

Zaach 1 year ago

Are you me?

0points

DrLivingstonipresume 1 year ago

It is depression 100% but the very dangerous kind because it sounds like it is coupled with an attachment disorder. There is hope; please see a doctor immediately. Your life matters

0points

Lee Stone 1 year ago

Adhd can look like this too. Talk to your doctor about buproprion which is both a decent antidepressant and helps with adhd (if that's a contributing factor).

0points

Vermonta 1 year ago

They have several antidepressants, it takes some tries to find the right one

0points

El Dee 1 year ago

This sounds like all the textbook symptoms of depression. See your GP and don't wait. It doesn't get better on its own, only worse..

0points

freakingbee (they/them) 1 year ago

um well s**t this sounds like me...

0points

I just work here 1 year ago

Me either, however, my whole life has been so bleeping hard, I have serious health issues, nothing ever gets better...

0points

Vermonta 1 year ago

I put a list on my bulletin board of upcoming medical appointments. I titled it My Social Calendar

0points

#23

During a manic episode I was filled with so much rage and sorrow that I let a homeless man take me into a ditch behind a church in hopes that he would kill me. He didn't. He just did some drugs, showed me pictures of his girlfriends, and made pleasant conversation. I guess he was just lonely.

Edit, since many people seemed to only take 1 thing from this story: I didn't know he was homeless til my mom found us and offered him a ride to his place, which then we discovered he didn't have one. I didn't expect him to kill me, I was just hoping he would, as an obviously drugged-up man walking across the street to approach a 19-year old girl who is alone and offering her into a ditch where bodies are often found was a decent enough red flag 🙄 And let's not forget that I was in a state of psychosis

saltboo , Dmitry Zvolskiy Report

Final score:

82points

POST

XenoMurph 1 year ago

"Where bodies are often found" people live in some terrible places. There's less than one murder per year in my entire city, never mind one ditch in our city.

24points

#24

That I didn’t spend near enough time with my Nan in the months before her death.

For context she was 101- hilarious, kind and had all her faculties. She was the best support, and everything you would want in a Nan.

With her age, I knew time was short but didn’t prioritize her as much as I should have. I saw her the night before she died, and I said I’m sorry and she accepted it and forgave me but you could tell she was sad. Next time I saw her she was gone.

I regret it every day of my life.

doona88 , Nesrin Öztürk Report

Final score:

80points

POST

XenoMurph 1 year ago

In all honesty, we rarely spend enough time with the ones we love. But we do also have to live our own lives, it's the whole point of being a parent, raising your child to go out into the world, which is the one thing you don't want. You want them to stay close and spend time with you. But if they are successful in life, they will have a job and friends and a hobby and travel and activities. They'll try to spend time with you, but hopefully they'll spend less than they want, because their life is just too awesome. Same is true for grandmas. Don't be hard on yourself, keep the connections, see as much of them as you can, but live your life.

37points

Plus_Bison_7091 , Karolina Grabowska Report

#25

I spend most time in my bed on my phone. I hate it and I don’t think anyone knows

Final score:

73points

POST

Shark Lady 1 year ago

Ditto. I can't work anymore and staying in bed cuts down the heating bills. I know when it gets too cold because the cats go under my duvet.

33points

Substantial_Key_9099 Report

#26

I was assaulted at age of 5…

They told me it was all just a game, but my brother and three of his friends made me touch them when I was just a little girl. I kept it off my mind for many years. But something happened recently that made me had those flashbacks, maybe becoming a mom or idk.

It just saddens my heart thinking about the scenario and I just can’t get it off my head. I’ve never told anyone.

Final score:

72points

POST

Cappuccino (She/Him) 1 year ago

Ur brother and his friends were f*****g psychos

56points

CanIseeyourunderwear Report

#27

I genuinly fear that I’m only nice and considerate due to habit and training

Edit: I got a lot of supportive and sympathising responses and I’m very, very, thankful for them.

Final score:

70points

POST

Rivers of Belief 1 year ago

I understand you 100% and remember you keep nice and considerate...thats a choice you make!!!

24points

#28

When I was 8 years (m) old I was at a friends sleepover. He was also the same age and there was also an older boy there. He asked me to get naked and lay on my friend, after saying no multiple times i got persuaded to do it. He said they do it a lot as guys his age. I dont know much more of that night, I guess my brain said: Lets forget that. I still know how the room looked, what games we played before and how the bed and the carpet looked. Im 20 now and I think because of that I had a lot of trouble accepting physical touch and intimacy. Its one of the most detailed memories of my childhood till one point...

PeterShrek Report

Final score:

69points

POST

Joshua David 1 year ago

Kevin Smith just released a 30 minute video about his own sexual abuse and how that trauma affected him. That was abuse no matter how people look at it and want to minimize it. That brought you trauma. Also don't let anyone minimize your trauma because some people love playing Trauma Olympics "that's bad?? I had THIS...." that's Trauma Olympics because our brains do the same exact things no matter what degree of trauma you suffered. Please watch that video. It just came out this week through People Magazine. It's for you a little I think.

49points

oneofthemanystoners Report

#29

I am super selfish. I just want to be alone. but this society gave me unnecessary duties and attachments. it sucks

Final score:

65points

POST

Steven 1 year ago

Become a hermit?

11points

North-Appointment820 Report

#30

i have gotten more people than i can count fired from their media jobs in Canada due to their extensive previously buried abuse histories

pretty proud of it, but cannot even be too vocal about it, bc i dont want to be sued, even though every single one of them is a giant abuser, and in some cases, some are con artists

Final score:

63points

POST

The Original Bruno 1 year ago

HOW????

11points

#31

I push people away without thinking then think about how I'm alone

Easy_Tough2480 Report

Final score:

60points

POST

Lia is a platypus 1 year ago

Me too. It's a terrible feeling.

19points

#32

There’s a two year old jug Tropicana orange juice in my fridge rn and I’m too afraid to pour it out

iSpeezy , Willis Lam Report

Final score:

60points

POST

Admiral Graf Spee 1 year ago

It is a sentient being

58points

#33

I wish I'm not a person who always push people away when I'm in my lowest. I wish I actually accept other people's help offers and not refusing them. I wish my mind will stop echoing "you're a burden" everytime I try to reach for help. Why I always managed to help other people but I can't do it although I already have some ears to lend at, shoulders to cry on? Was it because what my dad mocked me for having 'too much feelings', 'crybaby', and my mom said "don't be a burden to us" when I had a mental breakdown?

(Eng isn't my 1st language btw :') )

shahtym Report

Final score:

57points

POST

Epsilon 1 year ago

Omfg this is pretty much exactly how I usually feel. I thought I was the only one who felt this way. I didn't have the parent saying that much stuff, but I always feel like I am more trouble to be friends with than just a normal friendship.

17points

Fast-Volume-5463 , MART PRODUCTION Report

#34

I find it incredibly difficult to connect with others. I simply can’t muster the energy to give a s**t about others. I look at others as objects or annoying automata. I don’t hate most. I simply have no opinion on others. Suppose that makes me kind of broken. There. Off my chest.

Final score:

56points

POST

1AlphaGeek1 1 year ago

It's all right. I have the same issue. You are not broken, just incompatible with others.

18points

Lopsided_Exam_2927 , RODNAE Productions Report

#35

I secretly blame my ex girlfriend for her ex husband assaulting me at a small casino a few months ago, not because we know each other and she left him for me, but for the simple fact that he had so much hatred for me that he literally screamed "im going to f*****g kill you" as he swung a deadly weapon at me. Later i found out that she had talked to him after she and i got together and she apparently told him i was physically abusive...

I have not even so much as raised my voice to her, let alone be abusive physically...

Final score:

54points

POST

Rivers of Belief 1 year ago

What people will say to make themselves look like victims especially when they have dark secrets themselves. Stay a good person and sorry you went through that.

29points

#36

My best friend since 10 now (32) just got married I wasn’t included in the bachelor party nor invited to stand in the wedding. I left shortly after dinner was served. No pictures no partying. Seen him as I was leaving we said we loved each other and I said congratulations.

Daffertons , Eugenia Remark Report

Final score:

52points

POST

Alexandra 1 year ago

That is so sad.....why????

24points

#37

I have little to no patience and I get really stressed when things don’t move like clockwork

Final score:

49points

POST

Midnightoil 1 year ago

Things not working out is a learning experience. Whatever it was- a failed relationship, didn't get the job, gives you the chances to reevaluate why it did not work out. This is life lessons. People get many life lessons. How you respond is up to you.

10points

#38

I’ve not had a will to live since I was 11 years old and I’ve felt emotionally empty ever since

I also fear that I’m going to die alone because I can’t seem to let myself be happy or just date for the hell of it

signaturefox2013 Report

Final score:

46points

POST

Zaach 1 year ago

Same, same - yet here I am, 74yo

17points

#39

I often fantasise about dying.

BimoUK Report

Final score:

45points

POST

Mav Mav 1 year ago

the call of the abyss

12points

Dutch Swimmer Goes Viral For Super Revealing Trunks During 2024 Olympics: “Is This Legal?”

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Thrill-Seeking Diver Jumps Down Extreme Waterslide, Ignoring The Strict Ban For Women

#40

I am a horrible human. I feel jealous when people around me are doing better. I am tired to pretending that I am happy for them when in reality I hope they are burned. I also have insecurities. Which is probably why such hatred.

Global_Reference_746 Report

Final score:

33points

POST

Michael Largey 1 year ago

Sometimes what seems like jealousy of others is really dissatisfaction with yourself.

9points

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#41

Back in college my floor mates thought I needed to loosen up. They all knew I had a bad first sexual experience and "wanted to help". So they did nothing but hand me drink after drink one night at a pregame, I was happy people were being cool to me. One drink was drugged. I don't remember leaving the dorm that night, even though I was told that we all went to a bar. And I don't remember the bar, or getting back.

But I do remember waking up in the morning, naked, with a condom still on my d**k, and a girl sitting in my desk chair. When I woke up I questioned, almost paralyzed, in shock. She said, "I only stayed because I thought you might be dead. I can't believe they convinced me to do this." I had never seen her before and didn't know her name. But saw her around campus from time to time, where I avoided her and she avoided me. I confronted my floor mates who got incredibly defensive and brushed it off. They saw it as me getting with a very attractive girl. No apologies from anyone.

People question me as to why I'm still painfully single, nine years later. "You've got a big heart, you would make someone happy." I've told one person about this, who laughed and said, "Well at least it wasn't real r**e". So I don't tell anyone now. I'm terrified because I feel I would not be taken seriously. I've never had a real relationship, nor a healthy sexual experience. I'm not sure if I'll ever be at a place where I can achieve that. And at this stage, what's the point? Even if I find someone tomorrow, I'd be in my thirties getting married, and who knows about kids. Fully expecting to be alone for the future, even if I don't really want it to be that way.

abeachedwhale Report

Final score:

25points

POST

1AlphaGeek1 1 year ago

Those aren't friends, they are criminals.

19points

Woman Put A Water Fountain With A Camera In Her Yard, Here Are 24 Photos Of Regular Visitors (New Pics)

See Also on Bored Panda

“Ma’am I Live Here”: Woman Refuses To Back Out Of Driveway, Learns A Lesson The Hard Way

#42

I'm always going to resent my parents for loving my adopted sister more than me. She was adopted before I was born and they were always asking me why couldn't I be more like her. Growing up she was always the favored one.

photoguy423 Report

Final score:

25points

POST

Lakota Wolf 1 year ago

That’s my situation, except roles reversed. I’m adopted, my sister is my parents’ biological child. I was adopted ONLY because my mom did not want my sister to “be an only child”. I was told this many times as a child. I was also the only child who was beaten, verbally and emotionally abused. My sister never got so much as spanked or shouted at. To this day my sister does not “believe” that our mom is an abusive narcissist. Even though she witnessed my mom holding a gun to my head when I was 7, and cutting my dad with a knife on many occasions.

15points

#43

A guy broke into my house a while back and the first thing I did was throw a knife at his leg. I'm a great knife thrower and now he can't walk as I hit a nerve or something. He didn't even have a weapon. Just my reaction ig. I was cutting some meat when it happened. Currently traumatized and I don't make dinner anymore because it reminds me of the fact that I just f****d someone's life up forever. I feel sickened and I think I might not be the victim here. I know what he did was wrong but I can't help but feel that I went too far.

Sea-Airport8480 Report

Final score:

24points

POST

Rivers of Belief 1 year ago

You had more than the right to protect yourself. Who knows what he may have done to you.

9points

50 Of The Most Incredible Shots That Were Submitted To The Comedy Wildlife Photography Awards

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French Diver’s “Jewels” In Tight Swimming Trunks Become Talk Of The Town At Olympics

#44

I just started as a mortician's assistant. I held a dead baby last week and put it in the fridge to be cremated later. I don't want to tell anyone because it would freak them out too much.

mongoose_eater Report

Final score:

24points

POST

Best Behave 1 year ago

You are doing such an important thing for people at the end of their lives and their families.

12points

#45

I don't have the heart or strength to write it out, but just remember this: if you say no and they don't listen, fight like your life depends on it. You have the right to your own body.

SummerOfMayhem Report

Final score:

24points

POST

Lia is a platypus 1 year ago

I'm so sorry

6points

#46

I was in a relationship with a man who forced me to have sex with him when I didn’t want to.

I was mentally broken at the time after leaving an abusive marriage and felt he was the only person protecting me from my ex.

So I gave him what he wanted and he knew I didn’t want to.

I was afraid of being alone and my ex breaking into the property and hurting me or my kids.

The man I was with, was also violent.

I fell pregnant. I said I’d never have an abortion as a matter of my own choice (was never against anyone who had). I was so fragile mentally I couldn’t cope with the idea of a child born from this compounding my mental state. I think, I would have ended up taking my own life.

I had a termination. One of the worst experiences of my life. I never consulted or told him as I think he would have physically harmed me or worse.

No one knows any of the above other than my therapist.

yeah-pickle Report

Final score:

23points

POST

Bent Screw (she/her) 1 year ago

The right person knows.

1point

Woman Moves Out Of Parents' Home After They Asked Her To Give Her Space To Brother, They Freak Out

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Mom Leaves $250k Inheritance To Son, Throws A Fit When Daughter Stops Looking After Her

#47

I felt relieved when my dad killed himself.

While he had a lot of mental health issues, he was also not a very nice person and put me and my family through a lot of pain for many years. I have countless stories of the f****d up things he said and did.

I now have conflicting feelings where I am sad that someone suffered so much pain and inflicted so much pain on others but I’m also relieved that it is over and I don’t honestly miss him at all.

Edit: wow, thanks for so many positive replies. It sounds like I’m very much not alone in having feelings like this so sending out the love to anyone in a similar boat.

Upbeat_Map_348 Report

Final score:

22points

POST

KombatBunni 1 year ago

I’m looking forward to the day my mother is no longer around. No more emotional blackmail, no more making everything about her and no more cheap a*s crappy presents. I have years of childhood trauma to deal with thanks to her and I’ll never get an apology. Sure I feel bad because it’s my mother but she’s not a great mother. Don’t feel bad, he’s gone and you can move forward with your life xx

3points

#48

A friend goes on and on about how many twitch followers he has and how he’s getting so big as a streamer, etc. he doesn’t know that most of his followers/viewers are me. He was so depressed that nobody was tuning in that I used a google worksuite account and a ton of aliases to spawn twitch accounts to follow/watch him. It’s gotten out of control though and he keeps trying to lord and over our friend group how many viewers/followers. Not sure how to proceed, because he was pretty depressed before I created all the followers and worry he’ll get depressed again if I slowly stop doing it.

For people asking, I’m not going to post the stream link, it wouldn’t do anything healthy for him to see a big hit of viewers at this point, and I don’t need him googling himself and finding his way to this post. Instead, one of the respondents below dropped a link to his kids stream, if you want to make a kid smile go give a follow to:

Mister_Brevity Report

Final score:

21points

POST

Lia is a platypus 1 year ago

You are a good friend

13points

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Woman Refuses To Chip In For Babysitting Because She Doesn’t Even Have Kids, Asks If She’s A Jerk

“This Breaks My Heart”: People Stunned—And Angry—After Woman Buys Lost Luggage From Airport

#49

I knew my mother was going to kill herself and did nothing about it. So I basically let her die.

sockmaster666 Report

Final score:

19points

POST

Aroace tiger (she/they/he) 1 year ago

I've done nothing when my friend tried to commit suicide once. They failed but I regret it a lot

1point

"I Didn't Start The Dryer": Karen Gets Taught A Lesson After Throwing Out Neighbor's Wet Clothes

#50

I have had the same best friend since I was 16. We met in high school. When we turned 19 she met her husband. I quickly became closer to him than my best friend. We developed a deep brother sister type bond. My best friend has cognitive disabilities and anxiety so I would vent a lot to him because he was just easier to talk to. This past October he died of AML leukemia. I stepped up and helped my best friend through the transition. I planned a memorial service, paid for the cremation (was reimbursed after life insurance processed) and was basically a rock. But internally I am completely gutted. I do not trust easily and he was one of the very few people I felt I could tell anything to. The loss is hard for me and I have no where to go with the pain because the one person I would talk to about it is him and he's dead. I don't want to say these things to my best friend because it drags up so much for her. She is hurting deeply and I'm trying to be strong for her. It's a difficult mix to deal with.

Heidi_the_unicorn Report

Final score:

19points

POST

Anne Jones 1 year ago

You should talk to someone, a trusted friend or even a counsellor. You are grieving and need help and hugs.

2points

See Also on Bored Panda

Guy Divorced 3 Years Ago Drops Off 3 Y.O. With His Ex-Wife Completely Out Of The Blue

#51

Growing up, my single mother would take out her frustrations physically on her children. So I spent time with 4 weekend foster families, 2 full time foster families, 2 years at a boarding school, a couple weeks at my dad's place (foreign national who still lives here but doesn't speak the local language after 35 years) and a couple years at something called an "efterskole", a type of boarding school but specifically for finishing up what is essentially high school.

While all of that was traumatic enough, I moved to the neighbouring country for a few years following my coming of age, to live with my then girlfriend, and when she broke up with me, I broke.

It's been 14 years since, and I still haven't been able to create a relationship (platonic or otherwise) with a woman since, whenever a bond is being formed, it simply snaps as I subconsciously retreat out of self-preservation. After seeing a therapist it turns out I have rejection PTSD from not only my mother, but from most of the female authority figures I've had throughout my life.

I don't hate women, so let's not take it to a misogynistic place.

I just can't trust them because I'm emotionally scarred.

Bonus story; The second full time foster family simply drove me to my mom's one day at age 14 and while I ran in to get my mom, dropped off all my stuff on the sidewalk and drove off. I came back out with my mom to just see my stuff there and them gone. I still don't know why, and I've always been scared of what the answer would be if I sought it out.

Grievuuz Report

Final score:

19points

POST

Nikolaj Christensen 1 year ago

Det er logisk at man udvikler nogle forsvarsmekanismer der skubber folk væk når man har været igennem så mange traumer, det eneste man kan gøre er at søge terapi og se om man kan få arbejdet dem igennem i et tempo man kan holde til... jeg taler ud af erfaring...

2points

“All Three Shot Out Pink”: Triplets' Baby Shower Turns Sour, Pregnant Wife Wants A Divorce

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College Student Does Exactly As Told After Roommates Demand They Keep Their Stuff In Their Room

#52

Adulting is a lonely thing. Even if you're married with kids. Nobody tells you. Many times it's you and your thoughts.

You have to choose to discount sad, bad, evil thoughts.

Focus and grow happy thoughts. Your choice.

Environmental-Flow94 Report

Final score:

19points

POST

Ham Fright 1 year ago

CBT changed my life.

1point

forgotmyfuckingname Report

#53

I think I have undiagnosed ADHD, and it’s ruining my life. I feel like I have Swiss cheese for brains, I have to set so many reminders to not forget anything. Therapy, physio, any kind of appointment, I set alarms all throughout the day, and I have to set alarms of when to leave, or I’ll forget. My to-do list for work is upwards of 10 pages long, because if I don’t write every action down, I’ll forget. On multiple occasions I’ve left the house with my makeup unfinished because I was distracted, and didn’t get a visual clue to finish (ie, my reflection).

If something doesn’t interest me, I can’t do it. It’s not that I don’t want to, it’s that I physically cannot make myself break away from the things that do give me the ✨interest✨dopamine✨ to do important stuff. It got really bad during the depp v heard trial. I’d sit down to watch some of the livestream of the trial after dinner and suddenly it was 2:30am, I was exhausted, hungry and about to p**s myself.

I want to get diagnosed, but I don’t even have a doctor to talk to about this.

Edit: sp

Final score:

18points

POST

freakingbee (they/them) 1 year ago

my parents won't let me get diagnosed cause they don't want me to be put on medication but i'm struggling with so many of these things op said.

5points

#54

I don’t have as strong of an attachment to my parents as I feel like I should. They allowed me to live with my maternal grandmother for the majority of my formative years, through high school and college. I miss her terribly, as she was more a parent to me than my actual parents.

All that being said, any visiting, helping around the farm, or time spent with them is generally out of guilt.

Final score:

18points

POST

Midnightoil 1 year ago

Why feel guilty? You love the people who love you and guide you. Hopefully that person did it with love.

4points

#55

I am a s**t Aunty.

I don’t like my nieces or nephews until they’re about 14 or 15yo.

My sister in laws kids have all been absolute brats and her parenting style (helicopter) is frustrating to watch.

I’m just grateful that I don’t live near any of them and rarely see them.

Bejasaka Report

Final score:

18points

POST

whatever 1 year ago

I swear my wife wrote this ! Except for two of her nieces who's parents raised them properly, the rest of her nieces and nephews are pretty much f****d-up, but the kicker is that we all saw that coming a mile away by the way they were being raised (for lack of a better term). I don't blame this lady one bit.

5points

#56

Sometimes I wish my mother would die so I don't have to deal with her anymore. I am so angry with her because of all the s**t she put me through as a kid. I went NC with her but she still sees my kids and I just am so tired of her existing. I feel like I can't move on from being angry with her and talking doesn't work because she's very much a severe alcoholic in ridiculous denial. I feel like her dying would bring closure I desperately need and my stupid brain keeps thinking that someday she'll snap out of it and hear me out but...logically I know it won't happen. I'm so tired.

ExistentialWonder Report

Final score:

17points

POST

Bent Screw (she/her) 1 year ago

Her death may not bring the closure you are looking for... your brain is far from stupid, your feelings and emotions are valid!

1point

DeadliestArmadillo Report

#57

I left my girlfriend the night she died after a long battle with cancer.

I had been sleeping anywhere I could for a week and in my haze I never noticed just how close she was to the end.

I really thought I could go home, recharge and come back. I woke up to her family in tears telling me she had gone in the night.

The only thing she wanted when she died was to have me there. Instead I wanted to sleep. Easily my biggest regret.

(To clarify as it reads wrong, I only left to go home for some sleep. I didn't split up with her)

Final score:

16points

POST

Geekymummy 1 year ago

Maybe she was waiting for you to go. My mum wouldn't let go until I'd left to go home. She was so close to dying several times while I was there but wouldn't let go. I think she wanted to protect me from that

8points

HumanShapedPotatow Report

#58

I know this is serious thread and this might sound as a joke, but once, back in 1987 or 1988, when I was like 6 or 7 years old, I stole a transformer toy from a mom and pop store.

It was the 80s, in France, so my mom would just drop me there while she ran some errands. It was not considered bad parenting back then, everybody would leave kids unattended in cars or stores.
Anyway, I had noticed this transformer for a while, I forgot which one it was, it was a grey plane, but it was not starscream. I really wanted it because transformers were the s**t back then. I already had bumblebee, but I wanted more. We were not poor but my parents wouldn’t get me new toys for no reason. It was only for Christmas, birthdays or if my school grade card was good. So I knew that my mom wouldn’t buy it even if I begged, I had tried before.

I noticed that there was almost nobody in the store and that the owner was behind the register. There was no one near me and since I was like 4 feet tall, no one had a direct line of sight over the isles.
I decided I was going to steal it. I had never stollen anything before. Maybe a crayon from school, but that was it. Here we are talking something that was 40 or 50 francs, around $8 or $10 which was a lot back then, especially for a 7 years old.

It was winter so I was wearing a big puffy coat, but the toy was in a box, not just a blistered cardboard back like most action figures, so I could not just shove it inside my jacket, it was too big. Plus, it was a small store, they only had one or two units of each toy, so if one went missing, they would notice immediately(at least that what my 6 yo mind thought). So, I just opened the box very quietly with my tiny fingers. It was over 30 years ago, so I don’t remember if there was any tape or anything holding the toy in the box, but I was able to get it out, making as little noise as possible. I was constantly checking if anyone was coming over. My heart was beating as if I was committing the biggest heist.
I slowly put it inside the pocket of my jacket. The toy was actually pretty big, I had to make sure no part was poking out. I put the box back in the racks, hiding it behind other toys. The whole thing probably lasted 30 seconds but it felt like an hour.

So far, so good. Then comes the wait. I couldn’t just walk out. I had to wait here for my mom to come pick me up and I had no idea how long it would be. Yeah I didn’t really think this all the way through, I was just a dumb kid.

So I had to stay on the crime scene. I randomly walked around the store, avoiding eye contact with anyone, staying away from the boys section, suddenly pretending I was interested in barbies and s**t. I was sweating. I knew it was there in my pocket but I couldn’t reach for it because I didn’t want to bring any attention to it. Was the bulge visible? I didn’t even want to look down.
I saw some other kid going towards the transformers. Oh s**t, he is going to find the empty box. Did I hide it well enough? Is he going to say anything? No, he looked at other stuff, probably e-man or g.i joes, which were also pretty popular back then (but it was before the ninja turtles craze!)

Anyway, i had to wait for what felt an eternity, probably 10 minutes, until my mom walked in the door. I wanted to rush outside but I had to act cool. She started asking me questions “i wasn’t too long? Did you see anything you like?” While I would normally drag her to show the stuff I wanted, this time I was like “nah, we can go”.

I was finally outside, no one was running after me, victory! I put my hands in my pockets, I could feel it, what a relief. But it wasn’t over yet. Even if my mom didn’t give a s**t about transformers, like I said, I didn’t have many of them, so if she saw me pulling out a new one she had never seen before, that I did not have when we left home, she would start asking questions.
I had to wait till we got home. I was already playing with it on the way back, moving bits, trying to guess what part I was touching. Is it an arm? A leg?

Once we got home, she put my coat on the hanger (lol), so I had to go retrieve it later when she was busy and not paying attention. I made it! I locked myself into my room and played with it all day. I would then hide it at the bottom of my toy crate when was done. I did that for a few days then I became less caution. My dad once saw me playing with it and asked where it came from because he recognized the type of plane (an f15 I think) and he didn’t remember buying it. I made up some b******t story about trading it with a friend from school and he was like “oh ok”, he didn’t really care.

I avoided going back to the store for like a year after that. I told my mom I’d rather stay with her when she goes to the farmers market (not true), which made her happy.

So there it was, my big childhood secret. It haunted me for months, like I had killed someone and could go to jail if anyone found out. Then I completely forgot about it as I grew up and did some other stupid s**t. Today I could tell them, don’t care, i just never got the occasion.

olivier3d Report

Final score:

16points

POST

Frankthetank 1 year ago

That was a long road!

2points

#59

I guess it's not so dark but

I absolutely hate,hate, that I mixed my friend groups together

it's one of the worst things i've ever done, so much drama happened because of that, i now feel like i don't belong in either group, can't plan things with one group without people from the other feel like i'm purposefully excluding them, can't talk about things that happen to me because hey they're all basically one big weird group now

i feel like i lost so much and i cant tell any of them that because how do you even say things like this?

it's really suffocating sometimes

Final score:

14points

POST

Cappuccino (She/Him) 1 year ago (edited)

Same here but then I plan something all goes well then they plan things without me that I arranged in the first place. E.G my friend came over from a different country to meet my other friends that wanted to meet him, I specifically told them: we meet at ….. but at about …… we go home but (my friends name) comes home with me because we didn’t plan in advance plus we can’t fit everyone in my house.everyone agreed. We meet. We have a great time, then came the time to leave my one friend leaves but she didn’t complain, then my other friend finds out even though I told her TWICE about this and she still threw a tantrum THEN I find out that she planned to bring things to my house AND THEY DIDNT EVEN TELL ME THIS!!! Idk if I’m just overreacting or if their in the wrong.

4points

#60

i wonder if people can read my mind, which is made worse bc i have ocd and have intrusive thoughts/paranoias. aka, i wonder if people can read my mind and read all my creepy a*s intrusive thoughts (along with all the non mentally ill s**t i think) and it sucks

d33r-l0rd Report

Final score:

14points

POST

SweetCheesySpaghetti 1 year ago

I am always worried about this. Especially because often, I will stress over something and someone will then mention it to me. It's very disconcerting.

1point

#61

When I was 15 or 16 I lit my friend on fire. He had to go to the hospital with 3rd degree burns. He was a homie and never told anyone it was me, just told people he was goofing around with fire and it was an accident. But I did it.

Comrade-Cohaay Report

Final score:

14points

POST

that weird wallflower is demi 1 year ago

I... need to know how this happened

4points

#62

Not really dark, but - I've never had a single friend in my life.

Final score:

13points

POST

Frankthetank 1 year ago

That's pretty dark

7points

#63

I'm in love with a girl I can never be with

Rcast1293 Report

Final score:

13points

POST

Epsilon 1 year ago

Not sure of the context, but I am currently feeling the same thing with this guy. It aches, but I think eventually everything will be fine

2points

#64

I ate a baby toad once. I’m not proud of it. It just kinda happened. It pains me to think about how scared and confused it was, wondering “why am I not home and why am I in some sort of acid pond”

specialk522 Report

Final score:

13points

POST

DC 1 year ago

... dude...! I've read a lot of things here, but this one is the weirdest so far, by far. And, it would sicken me more than hurting a human, too - humans are AHs, some more, some less, and I'm one for sure at times - but no other animal ever does any out of bad will or despite knowing better. That's just our specialism... But ... how'd that even happen? I know weird and really, really weird things can happen without any plan whatsoever, but this ... this really is ... man, what?

5points

#65

My fiancé left me a week ago. She claimed our relationship became too toxic and I have severe attachment issues. Instead of seeking therapy I’m currently on my way to costa rica to do plant medicine and confront my past. I have no idea how to stop the pain or quit thinking of her. She was everything to me.

braindeft Report

Final score:

13points

POST

that weird wallflower is demi 1 year ago

omg, I'm so sorry :(

1point

#66

When my dad was passing, my family left me to say my good byes. I didn’t say anything to him. Great man, I just had no idea what to say. Still feel like s**t about it

Mesm3rized Report

Final score:

11points

POST

Jill Bussey 1 year ago

He knew you were there, that's the main thing. Words are not always needed.

11points

#67

I really want my old friends back. I cant stop missing them. The ones I hurt, the ones who hurt me, it doesnt matter - I cant stop thinking about the people I used to do everything with. I miss it so much

MelodicScream Report

Final score:

11points

POST

Rachel Mion 1 year ago

Reach out to them. Maybe they feel the same.

2points

#68

not really dark but im genuinely think this guy i keep trying to let go is my soulmate, we keep finding ways back to each other.

secretcrisislol Report

Final score:

10points

POST

Bent Screw (she/her) 1 year ago

Be careful with that...

4points

#69

I gave up on love after my marriage ended. Every relationship I’ve been in since then is just the shell of my former self. I’m no longer the romantic guy I used to be, no more lovey dove talk, no more telling them how beautiful they are, and the words I love you seem empty. I’m afraid I’ll never love anyone like that ever again because I’m too afraid to be hurt like that again.

I also very much miss my former wife, I wish I never brought up separation and I wish I never let my former GF push me towards divorce. Even if we were 1800 miles, living with other people and other relationships, I would have stayed married just to say she was still in my life.

Qanaesin Report

Final score:

9points

POST

Anne Jones 1 year ago

You are still hurting from the sad loss of your wife, the future you had together etc. give yourself time and be kind to yourself. You can get through this.

1point

#70

My dog killed my neighbors cat and every day, the little girl (around 13-14) would ask where her cat was and i would constantly say " im not sure where it is" and once i moved away, I've been living the guilt and i feel bad that i never told her...its just that my dog was a pitbull and he was only 4 years old and i knew the risk of what happen if i did tell her so i never told her.

midnight-king18 Report

Final score:

8points

POST

Lakota Wolf 1 year ago (edited)

The prey drives of certain breeds can be very high. It’s not the dog’s fault, but what a dishonorable a-hole of an owner for not owning up to what his dog did. That poor girl probably spent months worrying about her cat, wondering what happened to it, and mourning it without closure. Protecting your dangerous dog’s life does not outweigh responsibility.

20points

Liucija Adomaite is a creative mind with years of experience in copywriting. She has a dynamic set of experiences from advertising, academia, and journalism. This time, she has set out on a journey to investigate the ways in which we communicate ideas on a large scale. Her current mission is to find a magic formula for how to make ideas, news, and other such things spread like a virus.

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I'm a visual editor here at Bored Panda and I enjoy a good laugh. My work ranges from serious topics related to toxic work environments and relationship difficulties to humorous articles about online shopping fails and introvert memes. When I'm not at my work desk, checking if every single pixel is in the right place, I usually spend my free time playing board games, taking pictures, and watching documentaries

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What do you think ?

POST

Emotionally unstable elephant 1 year ago

I act, and I act well. So many people say that it seems so tricky and that I'm so talented, but most of the time, I'm barely trying. There's no effort involved whatsoever. I'm Autistic and trans, so I've spent my entire life pretending to be another person. I can't imagine a life where I have to make a conscious effort to change parts of myself. It's just that, but structured. I can jump into character in seconds without much of a second thought. I know it's not much to 'confess', as such, but I felt I needed to get it off my chest.

13points

Nikki D 1 year ago

Do you know who you are without any act or filter? I've done it so long, I have no idea who I really am. Sounds like you are just being who you need to be in any situation, which is a great adaptive trait. Just don't lose yourself.

1point

birdhouse 1 year ago

I am ready to die. I am 47 and live with chronic pain and depression. I have 3 kids all in university or collage. When they are done and living on their own I have decided I'm done. I secretly hope for an accident to take my life every day.

9points

Robert Benson 1 year ago

I understand where you're coming from. Talk with your family about it. If you decide that you are done, you don't want to leave them wondering. The only thing that keeps me going, sometimes, is not knowing how to prevent emotionally scarring people. Pain can be managed to a level where it can't be felt consciously, but I haven't figured out how to escape the depression. Is the depression a result of the pain?

2points

Spongebob Sadpants 1 year ago

I used to judge people for surrendering their dogs, then it happened to me. He was a German shepherd corgi mix. I had him for a year. There was something wrong with him mentally. He hated men with a passion. Attacked cats and made my blue heeler mean. One day he escaped the fence for the 29th time, jumped one of my mom's cat, and kept running away from me. We have neighbors moving in and they have dogs and kids. I guaranteed that he would harm them. No amount of training or love could fix him. He'd beaten up my Chihuahua mix a few times. So I took him to a local vet that does adoptions. They took him in and said they'd try to find him a home. But by day five he'd gotten more and more violent. The vets had to put him down due to safety concerns. He was a year old, I loved him more than anything, and I hate myself for being unable to fix him.

8points

freakingbee (they/them) 1 year ago

i'm so sorry, i recently went through a similar situation. we had to put down our 4 year old staffy almost a month ago because she was aggressive and could have hurt someone badly (she'd nipped at a few people before) and she was just so unpredictable. she was the best dog i ever had and she got me through one of the hardest parts of my life and losing her was the hardest thing i've had to do.

6points

CrazyKnitter 1 year ago

I usually over empathize in a lot of ways. To the point where I get second hand embarrassment from TV shows and movies. But my mom keeps adopting old and sick dogs then getting absolutely devastated when they die, which I understand, but I feel nothing. I keep thinking that they're not sick or in pain anymore and go about my day. I feel so bad that I can't be there for my mom, but I also feel really fake if I try and pretend to be sad.

4points

Frostwing 1 year ago

I want to die.The only reason I haven't is because people need me. One of my best friends deals with suicidal thoughts as well, and I have been the one to talk her down from a suicide attempt more than once. She needs me to be ok. And I look ok most of the time. But I have a notebook filled with information about poisons and notes on how I could use them to die. I just can't do it for much longer. I look and seem so happy, but there is nothing underneath. No emotion. Nothing. I cut as well, Idk why. It's just relaxing. The thing that makes this all worse is that I do have a good life. I have great parents and friends and it just makes me feel so guilty. The friend I mentioned earlier, she has a mom who is borderline emotionally abusive. Another friend I have with depression comes from a poorer family. But what about me? The only possible reason I have depression like this is because it's hereditary in my family. And that feels like it doesn't count. So I pretend I'm OK, live a hate it.

3points

Tamra 1 year ago

Frostwing, I wanted to tell you that your form of depression happens to a lot of people. It's very real, it "counts", and is treatable. If your parents are supportive as you say, please do tell them that you are suffering. Medication could be incredibly helpful. Life changing, in fact. But you have to take the first step, and tell them what's going on. If they lost you, they would never, ever recover.

1point

Bubblegum Witch 1 year ago

I wish my dad would divorce his new wife. (My second stepmom) She is narcisstic and a horrible person who just wants me out of her life so my dad can focus all his attention on her. She's even jealous of his new hunting puppy because he has to train him and work with him so much. I can hardly do anything with my dad anymore, her presence feels suffocating. I just want my dad and I to live alone without her or her kids who are unkind to me. I just want my dad back.

3points

TheDemonicCat 1 year ago (edited)

I don't know anything about myself. I don't know what I'm really like as I have a different personality for every group of friends and a different personality for my family. I don't which one is really me, I don't know if any are really me. I don't know what I want to be or do in life. I don't know how I feel about people, whether I like being around them or not. I don't know if I've been in love before. I don't know what I'm good at. I don't know if I like my family. I don't know if I enjoy my friends company or if it's all just fake. Im sorry if I'm ranting, yet again, I dont really know whether I should've posted this here or not but I guess I did. Sorry if I seem a li'l like an idiot.

3points

vogonpoet 1 year ago

My grandmother died last year. It was hard, for everyone. The problem is my mother would like to start a family tradition in her memory with my siblings, to go out on my nan's birthday. And to be honest I really couldn't be arsed to do it. I get the sentiment, but I'm not really a sentimental person. I care, but I really just cannot be arsed. I have four autistic kids, and i myself am autistic, pretty certain my grandmother was autistic too.

3points

Stardust she/her 1 year ago

I honestly don’t care if anyone around me dies. I didn’t feel anything when my great grandma or one of my uncles died. I also don’t care if any of my friends break up with me as it feels like I lack a sort of emotional bond with them. I can’t pay attention when someone talks to me. I could be trying my hardest to focus but I lose track of the conversation and I stop processing what people are saying so I have to ask people to repeat themselves over and over again. I have a problem with being “brutally honest” because according to people around me I’m too blunt when speaking and end up being brutally honest and might hurt someone’s feelings. I don’t know how to stop being so blunt as I feel I speak normally unless someone is constantly pointing out where I’m wrong

3points

crowspectre (he/they) 1 year ago

I think I might have been sexually assaulted as a little kid

2points

Rayne 1 year ago

I witnessed a kidnapping when I was eight and I've kept it a secret all these years. The image of the flailing limbs inside those giant black layered trashbags still haunts me.

2points

Seadog 1 year ago

I was one of several people to see a man hit his kid hard in the head several times. More than one including me called the police. I was the only one to go out and speak to the officer when he arrived. He took man outside and spoke to him. I then went back out and he talked me out of pressing charges on the grounds that it would likely snowball back home and make things even worse. I've regretted ever since that I allowed him to talk me out of having that jerk arrested. And trust me when I say that kid did NOTHING. They were sitting right beside of us in a restaurant and that kid was the picture of perfect behavior. I have no hard feeling against the officer, he was doing his job to the best of his ability. I even tried calling in a few days later to speak to him and change my decision but ironically he was injured in the line of duty and never returned to work and no one else would/could take up the case. My advice to everyone is never tolerate abuse by anyone against anyone.

1point

Cloudy 1 year ago

I had a breakdown last November. Wouldn't have survived if it wasn't for two of my close friends. Both have sworn not to tell anyone else I know. I'm thankful to have them. But sometimes, i still want to end it all. I just feel bad that I put so much weight onto them and it will go to waste. People are always like, you have such a privileged life, why would you want to throw it away? They don't f**king understand. They don't know what it's like to be in my position. Everyone around me has expectations of the person I'm supposed to grow up to be and how I'm supposed to act now. I can't stand it anymore. I don't want to be a burden on them or my family. I just want to disappear from existence. Is that too much to ask?

1point

Mintii Bunnii 1 year ago

i am tired of the place i live in. i want to move out but am incapable of living on my own. my parents never rlly taught me any survival skills. if i tried to go out on my own, i'd have no clue what i was doing and likely end up homeless. i blame my autism for the difficulties i have trying to understand the ways of society. i have it easy though. my parents take care of me and meet every need i have. i have a good home and a good life. i often feel like a bumbling child though... i wish i could be more motivated

0points

Dawnieangel76 1 year ago

I hate & resent most of my family. My brother & sister are both incapable of being normal, adult humans. My brother dropped out of HS, never has held down a job, and stays home all day playing video games, due to mental illness. My sister is an alcoholic pot smoker who can't or won't hold down a full-time job, and is incapable of caring about anyone other than herself...her daughter (whom I raised) included. Neither of them will go see doctors about getting help for their mental issues. My mother enabled them, and still does, to rely almost completely on ME since we were all kids! Meanwhile I work full time, pay almost all the bills & rent, haven't had a vacation in almost 15 years, because of my stupid sense of responsibility in not leaving them to their own (probably homeless) devices. My niece thankfully takes after me as she works full time, has a savings account, pays her own bills, has her own car, etc. But if I had the chance to start over, I'd run as fast & far as I could.

0points

Audacious_1 1 year ago

I‘m the small, innocent one in the friend group. Being in high school, lots of dirty jokes get thrown around and I used to not get them. It was funny and cute to my friend group and I guess I was proud of my innocence. But then I lost it. Due to an unfortunate happenstance, nobody’s fault, I‘ve been through some stuff and done things I’m not proud of. I haven’t told my friends; it feels too private. So I still pretend to be the small, innocent, naïve one. I act like I don’t get their dirty jokes or bad references. They are such wonderful people, and I know they would accept me and the things that I’ve done if I were to tell them. And yet I’m so afraid of change, and of admitting that the innocent, clueless me is gone. Not a big secret I guess but it’s nice to get it off my chest

0points

No Name 1 year ago

I've been on sertraline for anxiety for so much of my life that I have no idea if I'm genuinely aromantic and dang near asexual or if it's the meds. I'm also slowly realizing that even though I can talk about my stalker freely without having flashbacks or anything, it still made me deeply uncomfortable with being seen as an object of sexual desire. I don't want anyone close to me to want me like that.

0points

A Bi-Cycle 1 year ago

Everyone thinks I am happy. I am always the first one to laugh, and everyone always sees me with a smile on my face. What nobody knows, even my parents, is that at night I bury my face into a pillow and cry and cry until I can’t cry anymore and I have almost attempted before in the middle of the night, then went to school with a smile and laugh. I am so so tired and the only thing keeping me alive is my little sister who adores me with her whole 5 year old heart. I can’t bear her sobbing and asking where I am, when I’m gone. But everyday I get closer and closer. And I can’t open up as I feel like a burden. Sorry for the rant.

0points

Grunt Sculptor 1 year ago

I have a cat.

0points

POST

Emotionally unstable elephant 1 year ago

13points

Nikki D 1 year ago

1point

birdhouse 1 year ago

9points

Robert Benson 1 year ago

2points

Spongebob Sadpants 1 year ago

8points

freakingbee (they/them) 1 year ago

6points

CrazyKnitter 1 year ago

4points

Frostwing 1 year ago

3points

Tamra 1 year ago

1point