Sometimes the universe hits us with a curveball that seems impossible to fully recover from. Divorce is one of those things that can shake the ground under our feet and expose our deepest fears and vulnerabilities. Not to mention that it fundamentally alters the trajectory of our life.

However, we humans are often more resilient than we think and can come out of dark moments stronger than before. A good example comes from the Reddit user BondEmilyBond. They recently posted a question to the platform, asking divorced folks to share the lesson they took away from the experience. Here are some of the most upvoted replies they've received.

#1

Person enjoying freedom by the beach at sunset, symbolizing life changes after getting divorced. How content I could be on my own. Never having to compromise throughout the mundane moments because you are living alone is very freeing.

Independent_sunshine , Fuu J / unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

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    #2

    Couple sitting tensely on a couch, reflecting on surprising things learned from divorce. The person you married is not the same person you divorce.

    Royal_Arachnid_2295 , cottonbro studio / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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    #3

    Woman with curly hair in a coat, symbolizing personal insights gained through divorce. I expected to be heartbroken but mostly just felt relieved.

    oddwithoutend , Ozan Çulha / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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    #4

    Person with outstretched arms facing the ocean at sunset, symbolizing newfound freedom after divorce. Freedom after being controlled is amazing. Even in the little things. .

    Beerwithjimmbo , Nathan McBride / unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

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    #5

    Person lying down with a hand over their face, glasses on the pillow; reflecting on divorce experiences. That I actually wasn’t the problem and how much of myself and my energy got diluted and stolen by him.

    Moist_Departure_3975 , Ephraim Mayrena / unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

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    #6

    Person in a cozy sweater gazing thoughtfully out a window, reflecting on divorce insights. I felt even more lonely when I was married.

    bunbunzinlove , Dương Nhân / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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    #7

    Woman in a knit sweater sits with her head in hands, reflecting on divorce. That the person I thought was the love of my life and soulmate could be so unbelievably cruel.

    RickLeeTaker , MART PRODUCTION / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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    #8

    A woman happily smiles as she stands between two young women kissing her cheeks, illustrating a positive aspect of divorce. I always thought my older girls would one day resent me for getting divorced from their dad. 20 years plus later they told me it was one of the best things I ever did for myself and for them.

    sanantoniogirl71 , leah hetteberg / unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

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    #9

    Person holding dollar bills, possibly reflecting financial surprises after divorce. How quickly I recovered financially without my ex’s complete dependence on me instead of helping to support the family.

    treecatks , Karolina Grabowska / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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    #10

    A woman in a hoodie sits on the floor, contemplating insights from getting divorced. How starved for love and affection I was and how much confidence in myself I had lost.

    ineedamathclass , Sofia Alejandra / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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    #11

    Woman reflecting on surprising divorce experiences, wearing a beige cardigan, seated with abstract art in the background. That none of our friends believed that my ex was abusive. He was a covert narcissist and was extremely charming. I never knew who he really was even after 25 years.

    SuperIngaMMXXII , MART PRODUCTION / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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    #12

    Father and child walking in nature, highlighting lessons from divorce. He was able to feed and to take care of our daughter all by himself too! Who would have seen that coming?

    CamillaMiles , Nathan Dumlao / unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

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    #13

    A woman touches a rain-soaked window, reflecting on life changes after divorce. You can almost die from grief and disappointment.

    heartofgold48 Report

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    #14

    Person with hands covering face, expressing emotions related to surprising divorce experiences. That relationship PTSD is a thing. I have a hard time even forming new friendships with people, much less trying to date.

    slh236 , Dev Asangbam / unspplash (not the actual photo) Report

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    #15

    Woman with red hair in a field at sunset, symbolizing personal growth after divorce. That it's easier to be content with your life when you aren't feeling hurt, used, or ignored.

    Missdermeanerthanyou , https://unsplash.com/photos/woman-standing-on-grass-field-frq5Q6Ne9k4 / unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

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    #16

    Hands clasped together, symbolizing support and reflection after divorce. Pretty much how awesome life can be with a caring, kind, supportive spouse.

    I had no idea how bad I had it until the old one abandoned ship, and I met the true love of my life.

    Relax-Enjoy , Nathan Dumlao / unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

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    #17

    Two people exchanging divorce documents in an office, highlighting the surprising aspects of getting divorced. How easy and cheap (for us free at city hall, a small lunch for the best man and maid of honor) it is to get married, and how time consuming and expensive it is to get divorced.

    K_R_O_O_N , RDNE Stock project / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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    #18

    Two people having a discussion, one gesturing, in a cozy setting related to surprising insights from divorce experiences. Shouldn’t have been surprising, but “It takes two people to keep a marriage together. It only takes one to tear it apart.” A therapist taught me this, which was revelatory. It helped me to stop believing there was some way I could save it, even as my partner was trying to actively sabotage it.

    Utterlybored , SHVETS production / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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    #19

    Mother with two children on a couch, engaging with a tablet, illustrating family moments post-divorce. Not from my experience, but having children with your ex means you're not really rid of them, ever. They will always be around unless the children choose to remove them from their lives at some point. That includes the extended family, too, so it's a package deal at every event. It's not like they magically go away after the kids turn 18, though you do get to deal with them a little less.

    magicrowantree , Alexander Dummer / unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

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