We’ve all had some pretty dumb injuries in our lives. Just last night, I slept on my neck weird, and now I’m writing this looking at the screen from a 15-degree angle to the right. But what takes the cake is when I fell and badly hurt myself during the holidays after failing to notice a pothole because I was too busy admiring a gorgeous palm tree at a botanical garden. Embarrassing? You betcha!
But that’s nothing compared to what some other people have been sharing on Twitter after LA-based NFL analyst for ESPN, Mina Kimes, asked them about their stupidest injuries. And I have to say, popping your jaw while brushing your teeth too hard really makes me feel for you, Mina!
While you’re reading through the stories about dumb injuries, upvote the ones that made you groan the loudest, as well as the ones that you can relate to. And, if you’re feeling up to it, share your own similar stories in the comment section. Fortunately, there are ways to recover from such injuries more quickly, as well as to reduce the frequency of such embarrassing moments as we age.
Image credits: minakimes
Image credits: minakimes
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A girl I grew up with wanted to show the rest of us kids that she could dance an Irish jig while standing on a wall (I grew up in Ireland). As she did she fell and broke her arm. When she got back from the hospital a few days later someone who missed her "performance " asked her to do it again. She did. And fell off and broke her other arm.
One time I was getting babysitted by this wonmen when I was 10 and I though it be a good idea to jump i off the couch head first!! I end being rushed to the hospital cuz my head was bleeding out
i shouldn't be laughing...but i am...sowwy (˘・_・˘)
Load More Replies...Lol I have many experiences like this. One being similar in that on a few occasions I have fallen asleep with my arm in a weird position only for it to go numb and I wake up with my own hand on my face, but have no feeling in my hand, so I freak the eff out because I wonder who's hand is on me.... only to have to use my other arm to lift it off my head. Next, I got a tattoo on my inner bicep and had my arm back behind my head for a couple hours while the artist worked on it. Finally they said to stretch it out, and I didn't realize my arm was completely dead and when I moved it, I had no control and punched her square in the thigh.
I woke up one night with my hand on my face and couldn't really breathe. Also had to lift it up with my other hand
Load More Replies...Oh my god i just laUghed so freaking hard at this! I couldn't even spit it out for crying and laughing when my 13 year old came in here asking what was wrong.
Load More Replies...Thank you Michael, I can't remember the last time I laughed so hard! 🤣
Ah yeah ... that is an infamous injury. Hunching over kids is also VERY risky. Mine tend to jump up for a hug when I do that, my teeth & lips can confirm.
my pitty headbutts me in the middle of the night wanting to get under the blankets- ive had a few more black eyes that a person should-
now try a 130-pound Newfoundland puppy!!! story of my life lmao
Load More Replies...Stupid, completely avoidable injuries can make you reevaluate your life and make tons of promises about how you’re going to live a completely healthy life from now on. At least for a few minutes if the injury’s not too serious; longer if your bones now ache after the injury, foretelling the coming rain.
As we age, our bodies tend to get weaker. Our bones shrink in size and density, our muscles lose strength and flexibility, and we become more prone to accidents. However, getting into the habit of moving lots and being physically active is one of the ways that we can offset the gradual decline of our bodies.
So I'm at an archeological dig in Israel in the 80s, during my anthropology degree. I'm down 20 feet in a pit, about 70 CE in terms of the time period I was at. I just finished cleaning the dirt off a perfect mineral disc, diameter of a baseball maybe, sharp on all sides. At that moment a friend dumps a bucket of water on my head from the catwalk above... And instinctively I zing that disc up at him and slash his leg wide open. Everyone freaked out pretty good.
Hopefully they found the one inside too and not just the one taped to your gown when they did the X-ray
The old days: “You should pass that in a day or so with no problem.” ————————— Today: “Well, we’ll have to do a CT scan, then a battery of tests to determine if A) the tab is leaching anything into your system and B) if you are fit for laparoscopic surgery to remove the item, which will require a further 2 days in the hospital for “observation,” then 2 follow-up visits - 1 to remove the stitches and 2 to make sure the removal healed properly...all for the low, low price of $62,003! (The $3 is for the sodas we had to buy to make sure we had the correct tab shape and its measurements.)”
People pull them off and then drop them in the can. Take a big gulp of soda and down she goes! Used to be much worse with the old sharp-edged pull-tabs.
Load More Replies...ow that would realy hurt you if it ripped your neck from the inside (your welcome for that lovelyvisual)
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee nooooooooo why the frickity frackity frick heckity heckin heck would you say that!?!?!???!?!?!???!!!???
Load More Replies...Activities like walking, swimming, weight training, and calisthenics help us stay strong, less prone to injury, and keep our bodies fit, so we recover from accidents quicker than if we were couch potatoes.
When your explanation begins, well you see I tripped over the chicken. . .
You walk, there's a chicken, you trip over it
Load More Replies...Ewige Schönheit :) Fellow German?
Load More Replies...Shiiiit, I did that at 12 years old and tore a muscle. Took years to fully heal. Re-injured it years later yawning. I go all out.
I think we've all done that before some time or another
Load More Replies...My friend's mum threw out her back while wiping her bum on the toilet
I'm not there yet, but I feel some pain in my back when I sneeze too hard... :(
Sneezed while turning over in bed and pulled every muscle in my chest. Ugh
Reminds me of my sim when she was exploring a tomb. She stepped from a trap to pass out... into another trap... moved away to pass out from that trap... into another trap. I think I ended up restarting the game because it was just an endless loop.
This happened to my fiancé, and after the nail went into his head it caused him to have Psoriasis after that. Which I still find fascinating and not one doctor can figure out why.
My guess would be from stress. It's a huge factor.
Load More Replies...Another part of staying healthy is eating a healthy diet that’s low in saturated salt and fat, and has a variety of veggies, fruits, high-fiber foods, and lean sources of protein in it. You also ought to limit your intake of sugar, quit smoking, and either completely give up or greatly reduce how much alcohol you consume. Managing stress via exercise, socializing, and mediation, as well as getting enough sleep, are two further ways how you’ll stay fit, focused, and capable.
Same, but with a pack of porschutto or whatever that meat is called. Stabbed myself in my abdomen, thankfully didn't hit anything important
Load More Replies...same. whenever we are having caesar salad, i stab the absolute s**t out of it. (the salad is always my job so a lot of stabbing happens)
"I don't have to answer that." that made me laugh so hard because that's literally my response to everything when I do something stupid.
My ,too brilliant to be that stupid , son sliced his finger open with a pocket knife trying to open up a handful of ice pops. The scissors were right there next to him but he did not choose wisely.
We took away my stepdaughter's knives and gave her a good cooking scissors and told her to do everything with it. After her third attempted finger amputation.
I once stabbed my self deep into the finger or hand I don’t remember but I decided I wanted to cut up a orange for myself but I couldn’t cut it, I was only 10 at the time but I tried to impale it and ended up doing it to myself too. I didn’t cry but instead of going to the bathroom next to the dining room which was closer I decided to drip blood all over the house going up the stairs and to the bathroom and cleaning the cut in the sink which it was bleeding soo much there was a small stream of blood constantly flowing rapidly but paper thin. My sis who was 11 cleaned the cut and put a bandaid on it. I wasn’t allowed to cut oranges for a hot minute. 🤦🏽♀️
My brother did this literally Christmas eve of 2020, the thing he was opening was a sucker. We had to go to the ER because of it.... I just don't understand how it happened.
I once woke up with a dislocated ankle. Apparently I've managed to tangle it in really heavy winter bedding with my husband's leg on top of it (he was too hot, so he flung his leg on top of the bedding and my leg). I tried to move during the night and popped the ankle somehow. Found out in the morning when I tried to step on it and just fell down, like some comedy movie skit. My family about died laughing, I'm known for my clumsiness, but that incident took the cake :)
They real question is did you have a lot to drink that night? You may have felt fine until the alcohol wore off and the injury was noticeable!
Yep, sprain my neck and shoulder in my sleep, I lost all motion/muscle control in my arm and neck for a good few days, getting up from resting I had to use my hand to physically lift my own head up or move my arm. Took weeks, months, really strong pain killers and physio for it to get better
Well - reading your post is odd. I was lifting heavy boxes and repacks at work, when I felt MY left shoulder give and move a bit - not in a good way. If I even moved my arm a little, it hurt a lot. Next day it was really sore - deep inside somewhere. I told the manager that I would not be lifting that day, and I might need to file a WComp form. You get about 24 to 48 hours to do so. That very night, I was leaning against pillows at the headboard - working puzzles. I nodded off, somehow the pillows slipped very quickly to the right, I fell back against the wooden headboard, and guess what??? Yup - shoulder POPPED AND SNAPPED right into place. All the pain and discomfort was gone - instantly !!! I told the manager what had transpired, and she just stood there and looked at me. No forms to fill out.
at first i thought it said four times instead of fun times and i was so confused/scared for you.
Honestly, if a spider was about to crawl INTO my nose, I wouldn't do anything differently
Really i would do the same i scream and flip out when theres a spider on me i busted my hand off a tree once
Same! I get really scared even though I know they're harmless!
Load More Replies...If you’re already very physically active (I assume there are at least a few professional athletes among our readers!), then you need to be aware of what you can do to reduce the risk of injury during training and competitions.
Health Plus explains that most sports injuries can be avoided by doing some form of warm-up like stretching or cardio. However, there’s also the need for proper cool-downs after you finish exercising. The amount of time you spend cooling down should be roughly twice as long as you spend on your warm-up.
Box grater+ sweet potato + thumb = me in my shredded sweet potato hashbrowns, yes I ate them, no point in wasting food.
I have. It's called school budget cuts.
Load More Replies...So when I was about 7 I lived in an apartment. I went skating in my skates with a friend down the front sidewalk. Someone had backed a truck up to this sidewalk and had 2x4's sticking out the back. I didn't see them and smashed into them with my nose. Blood went everywhere, I went down and my friend when screaming to my mom "she's dying!!!" Ok a little bit later I was over it and went running with my hula hoop down same sidewalk, with same friend, I did it again, but this time I busted my forehead. I hit it hard enough to bruise, and somehow my nose started bleeding again. My friend went running to my mom "she's dying!!". I remember my step dad coming out and standing over me looking at me like, this kid is stupid. Later that day we went out and someone had moved the 2x4's to the side probably because they saw the blood on the sidewalk and was making sure it didn't happen again. Little did they know it happened twice. Unless they saw it.
One of my friends who plays volleyball once broke her arm in four places because she got knocked down by a ball.
I was teaching a kid down the street to bat. She swung the bat backwards (said she had seen ball players do it) and cracked my nose
I got my nose stuck in a badminton net as ran under it. It hurt like a mf.
This kid has a strange resemblance to the one from home alone, or is it just me?
Have you noticed the dumbest injuries seem to be the ones when you did something truly stupid (doing backflips off the diving board and not getting far enough out, standing up in a rocking chair, etc.) and when you're older all you have to do is stand up wrong and you get hurt just as badly?
t about the same age I was walking up the street paying to much attention to what some people were doing in their garden and walked into a concrete lamp post, that hurt.
The right equipment, shoes, and clothes are also important factors. Of course, knowing how to do particular exercises is much more important than splurging on top-notch gear, but it’s still nonetheless an important aspect to consider if you can afford it.
Maybe say that on Twitter to them? Rather than on a completely different site where they won't see it?
Load More Replies...I broke my hand in operation room, in ortopedic surgery room.(anesthesiologist here) First they said if it was broken, I would be crying, then in two minutes got a scopy. In ten minutes they treatment was over. Best place to have a broken bone.
The fact that there is photographic evidence of this injury is priceless.
Guess you must’ve been pretty thick-skulled! (This is a joke, please don’t murder me)
drew gooden (this one, im not taking about the athlete) is great. also one time i was sad so i was walking looking at the ground and walked headfirst into a car as well. i was 8
Ialmost ran under the car as kid... I'd seen it coming across my way as I was running down the street. I freaked out so much I forgot to stop. I only halted 5 cm or so from the car and the wheel run over my foot, but the car was already slowing down so it didn't hurt. I freaked out even more and ran away. Poor driver, my dumb self must have seriously freaked him out.
my brother was so stupid and impatient ( sorry if you are reading this). that to skip the lines he slid down the entrance and crashed into i tree also at the same time my sister flew of a snowmobile
If you do suffer a sports injury, you should remember the RICE method. RICE stands for rest, ice, compression, and elevation. If you become injured, you should get as much rest as possible and refrain from straining the area. Apply an ice pack on the soft tissue area that’s hurt. Next, wrap the area with a medical bandage to prevent swelling: not too loose but not too tight, either. Finally, raise the injured body part above the level of your heart to reduce pain and swelling.
I wonder what the tall guy did after having someone else's fingernail stuck between his teeth. LOL...............................
I feel bad for laughing at this one, but the image is just so clear
How long did it take you wife to stop laughing. Or Who went to hospital with what?
Teacher be like: Oh, I always knew that kid, that kid loves to be dramatic and distract everyone
Load More Replies...Me too, except I hit my head on the desk behind me. Had to go to the Dr. for 4 stitches at the back of my head. My Mom was watching and she also passed out. We of faint hearts. . .
Ever since I could remember, I passed out from needles, even when someone else got the needle, I still passed out. Absolutely terrified of needles. At age 60, I decided to get my Tattoo. Yes I did say Tattoo. It took me 12 months to pluck up the courage, and I did NOT pass out.
I made the similar exit tho for a different reason. I never wore that coat to school again.
In High School, that would have been enough to send me running the other way. I too pass out at needles. ANYONES Needles.
You would think the doctor would have scheduled an appointment at the time for 3 weeks, and called when you failed to show.... at least that is how it would work where I live
I have never had a doctor's office call if I missed a scheduled appointment.
Load More Replies...lol well my doc said keep this one for 6 weeks, so I did. It calcified and had to be rebroken and when he said 6 weeks I was like *squints* "I feel like I have been here before".
My brother was 40 when he fell putting tile up in a bathroom and broke his arm, after about three weeks in the cast, it really started bothering him. Went back to the Dr. and the xray showed it overgrew the break, he had to have surgery to remover the overgrowth
Load More Replies...How is it that you left it bandaged for 3 months without ever taking it off??? It is on your hand and you never washed your hand and needing to change it out? I bet it was so dirty.
a girl on my soccer team did the exact same thing warming up for a big game of ours, was out for the rest of the season
I'm wondering if there's some statistics somewhere that prove avocados are more dangerous than say tiger attacks. I sport a few scars due to the little blighters.
Then maybe you can explain how this happens? I keep reading about all these avocado injuries, but nobody is explaining how people are getting injured. In what part of the avocado cutting process did you cut yourself? I must be doing something completely different to my avocados, because I just can't picture it.
Load More Replies...How did you ever let it get that bad?? That is huge! Should have gone to the doc when it didn't heal after a few days, right?
Hey, at least you got a "super duper photo of your super duper hand!!!!
Infections aren't simple. They used to be the major surprise killer, before antibiotics, and they're going to come back due to antibiotic-resistant bacteria.
Yes his friend made a joke, what is wrong with a friend making a joke for heaven's sake?
Load More Replies...Most 18 Y/O's used to get one of these and had it filled for their special event during the 60's and 70's. Most of them wore the contents. Those were the good old days.
Once in the middle of a my Texas History class, while we were watching a video, my friend said a joke that wasn't even funny. I was drinking Ice ( an extremely fizzy soft drink) and I laughed. Half came out of my mouth, the other half? My nose. My nose was still burning when I went on the bus, over 80 minutes later.
I got myself a Harry Potter style scar on my forehead, next to my left brow as a kid from standing behind a hay wagon at my uncle's farm... when he opened up the back of it mechanically. I panicked and jumped on the bycicle to go to another uncle & aunt's house. Avoided getting stitches somehow. I don't remember how my parents reacted to it when they came to pick me up after a couple of days. Thinking back about it now I wonder what could have happened if i'd been even closer to it. Years later I got a matching scar by bending over to pick something up from a closet shelf that had those metal shelf support systems with a raised ending.. so the shelf can't slide off I suppose. Made a lovely extra dent on my forehead. It was on the night Pim Fortuyn (Dutch politician) got murdered so I remember it well. Got it 'fixed' with a butterfly bandaid.
I can’t picture this. He tore the disc in his right shoulder by just yawning?
I tore both labrums (in hip sockets) by flushing a toilet in a public washroom
Hips have labrums, too. Very painful to tear. So, which did labrums did Joe tear?
https://nhl.nbcsports.com/2015/10/25/beau-bennett-hurt-himself-celebrating-a-goal/comment-page-1/
When he was in Penguins the running joke was that we'd have to wrap Beau in bubble wrap between the games.
After I broke both my ankles and a year later shattered my wrist working at an elementary school, they gave me a bubble wrap suit ( you can buy them on Amazon) when I came back from the wrist
Load More Replies...it looks like a huge balloon, i think anyone would underestimate the weight.
At 12 I dove into the shallow end of the swimming pool, exactly like I had been told not to do. I scraped my nipples on the bottom, and also screamed in pain underwater.
That is actually... as someone who has a lot of injuries, that sounded rather painful-
I think my most unusual injury was from chocolate. I don't want to name a brand but you can open it by breaking it in the middle. I did that and a splinter of chocolate tore into my finger under the nail until I bleed. Very funny. And today i sewed through my left index finger for the second time.
Stupid injuries run on my mother's side of the family so much that we call it "The Miller Grace." I've been described as having all the grace and natural beauty of a pregnant water buffalo--it was fine until they added the "natural beauty."
ha my brother broke his arm 3 times in the same week snowboarding because of my other brother egging him on to an unfinished ramp
My oldest had my youngest jump off the top bunk to see if it was safe, youngest broke his arm, and the bottom bunk
Load More Replies...Umm... you should also mix the boiling water with some cold water and TEST the temperature first....
This is the person that the "test water before putting baby in bath" sticker is for.
Mechanical pencils are wicked germy. My son poked his eye with one in high school. Visited ER four times in two days. Was then sent to a specialist on a Friday night...at 10pm. Nearly lost his eye from the infection. Had to put antibiotic drops in his eye every half hour for three days...and nights... We were actually quite pleased when the doctor (on our Sunday morning visit, 10 hours after our Saturday night visit...) told us that the eye was ok, but he might need a cornea transplant. I don't know if its the pencil, or the graphite, or the combination, but they're bad news.
Broke my ankle getting out of a car. Had been smoking Pot and foot fell asleep but since I was stoned, I figured it was all good. What a way to ruin a really good high LOL
my foot feel asleep once and i thought i could stand up my foot cracked and hurt nothing broken
Take the shirt off next time, and give yourself plenty of time to iron it.
I wore a similar boot when I broke my toe in fourth grade after running in my house
i wore a boot when i was in third grade cause i jumped off 9 of my three-inch-tall stairs. fun.
Hope you are better now. I once slipped a disc picking up the mail off the floor.
I threw out my back picking up a DVD once... so bad I couldn't feel my legs for a solid 10 minutes, talk about panic.
You would fumigate a house to get rid of bugs. Basically a pesticide is sprayed inside a house. You are never supposed to be in the house. Usually there is a huge tent that goes around the house to prevent anyone from making this mistake!
Load More Replies...he asked a genuine question its not dumb to try to find information you dont commonly know (also if I'm correct (which I'm probably not) fumigating is using gas to exterminate bugs and stuff in your house)
Load More Replies...When I was a kid I tried to be cool and slide under the table to pick up something for my mom. I failed. I busted my lip open and had to get stitches, but they came out because I cried too much. Later that night my sister had to go to the hospital too because she had a kidney infection. Not a good night for any of us.
Did the woodpecker watch you the entire time while pecking? That would have been badass
One morning I rolled my ankle after sleeping with my leg sticking off the side of the bed reducing blood circulation to my feet. I didn't know my foot was asleep until I stepped out of bed and collapsed.
Like in Diary of a Wimpy Kid when someone got their tooth stuck in Rowley's forehead.
ha my sister and i where jumping once and when we came of the trampoline her front two teeth were broken and my head was bleeding
You are an accident waiting to happen. Hope your experience with the glass door wasn't shattering.
me too. is it supposed to be 'na saracsm' or 'nas car casm'
Load More Replies...you: *falls 1/2 foot*
Bones that spent millions of years evolving to be strong to NOT break after falling 1/2 a foot: aoifjvapme...a9aecf.jpg
Years ago my father (normally a very patient quiet man) was angry at his golf swing. Whipped a club out into the green. It hit a small sapling wrapped around the trunk the aluminum shaft split and a piece came back hit my dads face and left a big cut. He had to have stitches. He'd been taken meds to lose weight (Dr. prescribed uppers and downers, as they were called back then.) He stopped taking them shortly after this event.
This made me lose it because this is something that would happen to me lol.
My only guess is it popped up and hit them in the face?
Load More Replies...A can opener would have done the trick. I hate when those pop tops break.
Ever heard of intellect? Based on your previous comments, I'm not gonna bet on it.
Load More Replies...Blackpearl is a great name for a Nightwing/Seawing!
Load More Replies...OH NOOOO that musta been horrible BUT AT LEAST YOU FOUND THE BABY- YOUR KING/QUEEN NOW
Yeah, I also learned the hard way that you have to eat king cake carefully.
I am struggling to picture how someone would break there elbows by running into a wall.
My sister sprained her hand accidentally punching the metal border on a wall
Load More Replies...I pop my fingers all the time... I'm probably going to forget this and continue popping them anyway
Exactly why I use a brush in combination with my straightener (I follow the straightener with the brush)...
Department of Child and Family Services, I expect.
Load More Replies...To celebrate the timberwolves making the western conference finals
Load More Replies...A guy I played with struck out even though he was hit by the pitch twice in the same at bat. Two pitches in a row inside, he swung and they hit him in the chest. Still a strike if you swing!
So old she was tall enough to jump to the ceiling. So not a child exactly, I'd guess.
Load More Replies...One time I broke a cheap fork biting on to it- almost swallowed the severed prongs.
But you can make beautiful holiday decorations with them.
Load More Replies...Bro, I thought these were the freaking bristles you find on the ground - I was about to say "why would you eat one of those??" until I read the tweet itself 😅 I have never heard of these seeds
When I was five at my aunt's wedding I tripped on one of the lumps on the carpet and fell forward on the metal stage. I dislocated my jaw.
Well, earlier this year (January) I’d just finished watching the Lord of the Rings trilogy, and decided to try out sliding down my stairs on a shield (a Captain America one) like Legolas did. One very well deserved concussion later, I came to the conclusion that I am not a graceful, thousand year old elf, and therefore should not be attempting those kinds of stunts.
Just yesterday, I was making the bed when my cat came flying in to jump on the bed. The timing was perfect - or perfectly wrong - and he slammed headfirst into my thigh. Somehow, he then instantly pivoted 180 degrees off my leg and leapt about 6 feet away, then turned and looked at me with a "What the heck just happened?!" face. I have a lovely bruise, but, to be fair, it was hilarious.
My brother was trying to aggressively sign 'what do you want to eat' and punched himself in the mouth and started bleeding
One time I put an oven mitt on, opened the oven with the mitted hand and proceeded to grab the 400 degree cookie sheet with my bare hand. I was both sober and well rested.
Stabbed my hand bad enough to need surgery - taking butter with a sharp knife. A second before, my wife told me to be carefull and not stab myself - and to put on my protective glove. An old injury has left me with rubbish motor skills in my left hand, so I tend to Hurt my right hand whenever I doing something with a knife/sharp tool.
My sister cut her hand while slicing a bagel so bad she needed stitches and severely damaged the tendons. Apparently, according to the surgeon, this happens very often with bagels.
Load More Replies...Wait until you're old. You'll wake up aching somewhere even though you did nothing other than sleep. It can even last days/weeks. I threw out my shoulder...Sleeping...SMH.
I've gotten a lot of stupid injuries, but miraculously have never broken anything. Except my pride. That's been shattered multiple times.
Was picking up grass/weeds then felt a thorn in my hand. All of a sudden I had pressure there n noticed it was a rattlesnake biting me! Started laughing n taking pics (didn't hurt at all) then called 911 once my arm was swelling up almost to my shoulder. Had 2 liters of anti-venom injected.
The ancient microwave in my new home was not working correctly and displayed a variety of error codes. I kept using it, unplugging it between uses. The last time I used it I electrocuted myself. I ended up in the hospital. Doctors stopped by just to meet the person electrocuted by their own microwave. The after hospitalization care sheet had one sentence, "Buy a new microwave."
My husband confused my Dockers for his, put them on and panicked because he couldn't button them and came up above his ankles. While standing in a doorway, he then did that little jump thing you do when you're trying to pull up your pants and whacked his head on the doorway and almost knocked himself out. So there he was, in my too-small-for-him pants, laying on the ground, holding his head, and wondering why his pants don't fit. I think I peed myself laughing so hard.
Well, earlier this year (January) I’d just finished watching the Lord of the Rings trilogy, and decided to try out sliding down my stairs on a shield (a Captain America one) like Legolas did. One very well deserved concussion later, I came to the conclusion that I am not a graceful, thousand year old elf, and therefore should not be attempting those kinds of stunts.
Just yesterday, I was making the bed when my cat came flying in to jump on the bed. The timing was perfect - or perfectly wrong - and he slammed headfirst into my thigh. Somehow, he then instantly pivoted 180 degrees off my leg and leapt about 6 feet away, then turned and looked at me with a "What the heck just happened?!" face. I have a lovely bruise, but, to be fair, it was hilarious.
My brother was trying to aggressively sign 'what do you want to eat' and punched himself in the mouth and started bleeding
One time I put an oven mitt on, opened the oven with the mitted hand and proceeded to grab the 400 degree cookie sheet with my bare hand. I was both sober and well rested.
Stabbed my hand bad enough to need surgery - taking butter with a sharp knife. A second before, my wife told me to be carefull and not stab myself - and to put on my protective glove. An old injury has left me with rubbish motor skills in my left hand, so I tend to Hurt my right hand whenever I doing something with a knife/sharp tool.
My sister cut her hand while slicing a bagel so bad she needed stitches and severely damaged the tendons. Apparently, according to the surgeon, this happens very often with bagels.
Load More Replies...Wait until you're old. You'll wake up aching somewhere even though you did nothing other than sleep. It can even last days/weeks. I threw out my shoulder...Sleeping...SMH.
I've gotten a lot of stupid injuries, but miraculously have never broken anything. Except my pride. That's been shattered multiple times.
Was picking up grass/weeds then felt a thorn in my hand. All of a sudden I had pressure there n noticed it was a rattlesnake biting me! Started laughing n taking pics (didn't hurt at all) then called 911 once my arm was swelling up almost to my shoulder. Had 2 liters of anti-venom injected.
The ancient microwave in my new home was not working correctly and displayed a variety of error codes. I kept using it, unplugging it between uses. The last time I used it I electrocuted myself. I ended up in the hospital. Doctors stopped by just to meet the person electrocuted by their own microwave. The after hospitalization care sheet had one sentence, "Buy a new microwave."
My husband confused my Dockers for his, put them on and panicked because he couldn't button them and came up above his ankles. While standing in a doorway, he then did that little jump thing you do when you're trying to pull up your pants and whacked his head on the doorway and almost knocked himself out. So there he was, in my too-small-for-him pants, laying on the ground, holding his head, and wondering why his pants don't fit. I think I peed myself laughing so hard.


