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We’ve all been there — times we said something so dumb, we wished the ground would just swallow us up. After all, even the brightest of us are not immune to making mistakes as they are an inevitable part of human nature. Just think of all the naive hopes, faulty assumptions, and plain wrong opinions we carry with us throughout our lives without questioning — everyone is bound to have their brain.exe stopped working moments.

So a few months ago, Redditor Xlh883dragster decided to help us come to terms with our collective idiocy and show that blunders can strike us at any time. They reached out to fellow members of 'Ask Reddit' with a question: "What’s something you’ve heard someone say that was so incredibly, mind numbingly stupid that you’ll remember it the rest of your life?"

The thread immediately became a hit as hundreds of people offered a glimpse into other people’s embarrassing moments, both funny and relatable. Scroll down to enjoy reading through these entertaining responses, upvote your favorite ones, and be sure to tell us all about the stupidest things you’ve ever done in the comments! Then if you’re keen on even more stories of people acting silly, check out our earlier piece right here.

This post may include affiliate links.

#1

50 Times People Heard Someone Say Something So Blatantly Stupid, They Just Had To Share It Online Someone asked me how the guy that donated his heart to me was doing.

enitsp , jesse orrico Report

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#2

50 Times People Heard Someone Say Something So Blatantly Stupid, They Just Had To Share It Online Friend: "I've always wondered how goats grow into deer in the wild but stay goats at the farm."

Me: "Ayo what the f**k?"

Friend: "I know, crazy, right? With ponies at least you can see them grow into horses but the goats??"

Corvus_Manufaktura , Dorothea OLDANI Report

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Nathaniel
Nathaniel
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What animal grows into cows?

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IndieRockFan
IndieRockFan
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Cats obviously... Don't you know anything

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DC
DC
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2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think I might grow into a Gorilla soon. Facial hair is becoming a pest since my shaving machine broke down (and instead of repairing it, I just screamed at it and go angry), and I suddenly feel a craving for excessive amounts of banana when I walk by them in the fruit aisle and am hungry while shopping, plus I always loved to climb stuff. Yeah, might happen.

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Jon Steensen
Jon Steensen
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

..and that is a double whammy, backing up one wrong claim with another wrong claim, wow.

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VM37
VM37
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Apparantly animals are pokemon, they evolve into New species......

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Natalie Phipps
Natalie Phipps
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I hate to break it to ya but ponies don't grow into horses either. hahaha.

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#3

50 Times People Heard Someone Say Something So Blatantly Stupid, They Just Had To Share It Online My wife's Grandmother was on her death bed in 2015, right around Christmas. I was scheduled to work that Christmas Eve... she took a turn for the worst that morning and I was told we'd all better get to the house quick. Tried to call my manager, no answer, left him a voicemail. I called the manager on duty and said I'm sorry it's just not happening today I have a family crisis. Duty manager said absolutely no problem. Called their manager too to ensure I covered all my bases. They both said take all the time you need. Was supposed to work the weekend after too. No problem, we'll get you covered. She died that Sunday.

Get back to work Tuesday. My own manager comes to my desk, he's pissed at me. Why didn't I show up for work those days? I told him the situation, told him I'd called everyone to ensure I was covered. His response? "Well, you should have planned that better". This is the only time I've ever seen my cube mate, this mild mannered Iranian I'd worked with for years, get upset. He leapt out of his seat, grabbed my manager by his arm and dragged him to his office. Apparently the shouting match went on for some time, I was too busy sitting at my desk with my jaw on the floor processing what he just said.

That manager was an a*****e. My coworker is one cool dude. I never got an apology, but I note he was fired for unrelated reasons a few months later so f**k him.

zerbey , Jose Losada Report

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Chucky Cheezburger
Chucky Cheezburger
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What is it with employers thinking that people should plan a death in the family to fit around the work schedule? I've seen several posts on several articles on BP where managment is berating an employee for not giving proper notice to use bereavement leave. Either they are utterly incompetent or an absolute a-hole,complete with swollen hemeroids, bleeding,festering pustules, and dingleberries hanging in profuse numbers.

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We managed to get in touch with Redditor Xlh883dragster, Brad, who was kind enough to have a chat about his thread. When asked about what inspired him to start this conversation in the first place, he told Bored Panda he’s not 100% sure where it came from. "It was just one of those things that kind of materialize or occur randomly in your consciousness. However, I have been binge-watching (and re-watching) 'Curb Your Enthusiasm' and 'Seinfeld' recently, so that could have had something to do with it."

Brad explained these popular sitcoms have put him in this weird frame of mind. "[It] has me thinking about ordinary day-to-day things that happen to me or random thoughts that streak through my mind in the context of 'Hey, that would have been a funny scene in Curb' or 'That would have been a hilarious Seinfeld character', followed by the respective theme song playing in my head," the Redditor added.

When asked about the avalanche of replies his thread received, Brad said it felt good to put something out there that many people connected to. "I definitely didn’t expect it to get the response that it did," he added. "But was pleasantly surprised (and slightly mortified at the thought of trying to read all of them) when I started to see hundreds and then thousands of replies flooding my inbox."

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#4

50 Times People Heard Someone Say Something So Blatantly Stupid, They Just Had To Share It Online Banning abortion will stop abortions.

fonduesalsa , Philip Cohen Report

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Rod
Rod
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well murder is illegal so there is no murders, right?

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#5

50 Times People Heard Someone Say Something So Blatantly Stupid, They Just Had To Share It Online Substitute teacher told me the moon is bigger than the sun that's why it blocks the sun during an eciplse. Was in grade 4 I argued with her.

Amelor_Rova , Andrés Gómez Report

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Bernd Herbert
Bernd Herbert
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This one is actually quite sad. Uneducated people who become teachers

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#6

50 Times People Heard Someone Say Something So Blatantly Stupid, They Just Had To Share It Online That Darwin was half right and that black people evolved from monkeys but white people were the descendants of Adam and Eve.

The same guy went on about what an idiot his heart doctor was because he was Indian. Yeah, that guy is dead from a heart attack now. Oh well.

rhett342 , Hans Veth Report

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As you’re scrolling through this list, you can’t help but feel entertained by the dumb things that inevitably leave our mouths. While it makes for some cringe-worthy material, we humans seem to always feel intrigued by these stories.

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Brad shared a few reasons people are drawn to devour stupid things others overhear. "First is, it’s funny. I found myself laughing out loud at several of the quotes that were posted. Some were just absolutely hilarious. It’s the whole concept of Schadenfreude — laughing at others' misfortune. We do it because laughing makes us feel good."

The other explanation we enjoy reading about these moments is that it offers us comfort and makes us feel slightly better about our own embarrassing blunders. After all, they represent a certain universal truth — we all sometimes hold false hopes and wrong beliefs that are hilariously stupid. "It’s a little bit of a confidence boost, and also something you can relate to as a fellow traveler. Some people might think 'Thank god I’m not the only one who thought or said the same thing' or 'Whew, at least I know I’m not the dumbest person on Earth!'"
#7

50 Times People Heard Someone Say Something So Blatantly Stupid, They Just Had To Share It Online A flight was delayed due to snow on the runway, a woman complained saying “damn it this happens every year, why don’t they put a roof over the runway or something”.

Bangkokbeats10 , Merve Sensoy Report

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#8

50 Times People Heard Someone Say Something So Blatantly Stupid, They Just Had To Share It Online One of my college roommates wandered in while we were watching JAWS. It’s the final 15 minutes. The shark is tearing the Orca apart. It comes to the scene where the shark heaves itself up on the stern, the roommate says,

“It’s pretty neat how they trained that shark to do that.”


Dear reader, he was serious.

jabberwox , Ritesh Man Tamrakar Report

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Nobody
Nobody
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

special effects crew would be thrilled with his comments!

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#9

50 Times People Heard Someone Say Something So Blatantly Stupid, They Just Had To Share It Online How do dogs in China learn Chinese. He was under the assumption that dogs just naturally spoke English.

Better_Collection840 , Hannah Lim Report

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Moreover, these stories can "teach people that we all say a lot of dumb things, and may have incorrect or false beliefs, but it doesn’t mean you’re uneducated or stupid, and shouldn’t be labeled as such," Brad added.

"There’s a phrase I like, and that’s 'Common sense is learned'. No one was just born with common sense, it's not innate. It’s built through experiences and everyone’s are different, and we all followed a different path to get where we are today. So what’s common sense for one person isn’t necessarily for another."

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#10

50 Times People Heard Someone Say Something So Blatantly Stupid, They Just Had To Share It Online New girl at work...she was horrified that we eat the eggs that come from our chickens. She insisted store bought were normal good eggs. She then really blew my mind when she said she doesn't eat chicken, so she only buys "hens". She about had a panic attack when I explained hen is just lady chicken. Very sheltered

Fubar_Ranch , Thomas Iversen Report

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#11

50 Times People Heard Someone Say Something So Blatantly Stupid, They Just Had To Share It Online I used to work as a paralegal and had to fight with Social Security when they accused my clients of fraud. Got on a call with an agent who insisted my client was faking the disability her daughter had. The daughter died of the disability and it says it on the death certificate. The agent told me it wasn't enough proof.

Ahkwatic , Gabrielle Henderson Report

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#12

50 Times People Heard Someone Say Something So Blatantly Stupid, They Just Had To Share It Online I had this friend I met for lunch once after not seeing her for a while. She said, "I never see you. I miss you." I told her that I've been working a lot and that I've worked 9 days straight. She goes, "HOW? THERE'S ONLY 7 DAYS IN A WEEK!".

Illustrious_Low_6583 , Estée Janssens Report

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Brad stressed that while these replies represent some hilariously painful things people voiced out loud, he guaranteed that many of them were said by intelligent people. "Just because someone says (or does, for that matter) something really dumb or absurd, doesn’t mean they are stupid or ignorant."

"My advice for anyone that made the list or has said things that still make them cringe and haunt their memories to this day is just to say — Welcome to the club! We all have our moments. Everyone’s brain farts. The smartest among us think, say, and do some really dumb things, so don’t ever let yourself or anyone else make you feel bad, stupid, or less than," Brad said.
#13

50 Times People Heard Someone Say Something So Blatantly Stupid, They Just Had To Share It Online A girl in my high school said that of she and her hypothetical husband had undesirable face features that they didn’t want to pass on to a child (like a bumpy nose) one of them would just plastic surgery before conceiving a child. When I said that with her logic if both me and my partner chopped off our index fingers our child would be born without index fingers. She said that wasn’t the same thing. We were 17 at the time. I still think about that, 18 years later.

BannedFromIKEA , Olga Guryanova Report

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Nathaniel
Nathaniel
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If the dad is circumcised then the child should come out circumcised right?

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#14

When I was 17, I casually mentioned to one of the high school nurses that I didn't want to have kids until I was at least 25, and she told me that by the time I was 25 it would be "too late" to have my first baby and I should have two kids by the time I was 20. She then called the girl who got pregnant at the beginning of freshman year "the smartest girl in town" because she was the same age as me and on her third baby.

I remember it so well because it was the last time I ever saw her. She apparently told the other nurse about the conversation, and the other nurse was so revolted that she reported her to the school board, who then transferred her to the elementary school (which she then got fired from for calling a girl's clothes "slutty".)

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SheamusFan1987
SheamusFan1987
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why the hell was she even posted in schools to begin with???!!! Sounds like she shouldn't even be a nurse to begin with, either!

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#15

50 Times People Heard Someone Say Something So Blatantly Stupid, They Just Had To Share It Online My friend once turned around to me and said "i don't believe in oxygen".

Crafty_Attention_164 , engin akyurt Report

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While it looks like there's no limit to dumb things people end up saying aloud, it's also true to our brilliantly foolish actions. As Balazs Aczel, an associate professor at ELTE University in Budapest, and author of the study What is stupid?: People's conception of unintelligent behavior, explained to us in a previous interview, people use the label "stupid" for three very different types of actions. 

"We call the first category 'confident ignorance'. In these actions, people's confidence tends to exceed what their skills or knowledge would allow," the professor told Bored Panda. "In other words, they think they know how to do risky things, and they do it. For example, they go bungee jumping with their home-made gear, such as a metal cord."
#16

50 Times People Heard Someone Say Something So Blatantly Stupid, They Just Had To Share It Online At KFC one woman was surprised to learn that Buffalo wings were made of chicken, she actually thought that buffaloes had wings.

Also, a couple of people thought that islands float.

MasterOfPuppets72 , Leon Pauleikhoff Report

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#17

50 Times People Heard Someone Say Something So Blatantly Stupid, They Just Had To Share It Online My boyfriend's dad said the vaccine was full of aids and shards of glass.

VioletssadestVibezs9 , cdc Report

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#18

"Breastfeeding your child is so gross! You're basically teaching it to have sex!"

Said by a 21 year old woman

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Queen fhk
Queen fhk
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Boobs are originally meant for breastfeeding thats why it's called the MAMMARY GLAND, I wish some people would use their brains

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The second type of "stupid" happens due to absentmindedness. In this case, people have sufficient knowledge to act rationally, except they don't monitor their actions. "Whenever we turn into auto-pilot, we risk doing something very irrational. A good example is a professor who was so engaged in a deep conversation with his colleagues at his home that when he went to his bedroom to get a book, seeing the bed he got into his pajamas and went to sleep," Aczel explained.

The third kind of stupidity is "lack of control". "Here, people know how to do things right and are aware of their actions, they still make that mistake," he continued. "Impulsivity and short-term emotions can make us act against our best thinking. In heated conversations, we can easily lose control. Overindulging in food or drinks can also seem stupid the day after."
#19

My sister once asked if something was spelled right. As I was looking, she said "it must be right, there isn't a red line under it."
She was hand writing on paper.
I'll mock her forever for that one.

Also, when I was drunk, I once said "I'm quite short for my height."

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Robert T
Robert T
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It anoys me profusedly that there are kno red lines unda the txt I type on BP.

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#20

50 Times People Heard Someone Say Something So Blatantly Stupid, They Just Had To Share It Online The sky is blue because it’s reflecting the color of the ocean. There are many things wrong with that, starting with the fact that WE ARE IN KENTUCKY.

AltruisticCats , jenna duffy Report

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Nobody
Nobody
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

so using that logic, the sky over central australia would be orange

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#21

50 Times People Heard Someone Say Something So Blatantly Stupid, They Just Had To Share It Online That men have one less rib than women because, you know, god made Eve from Adams rib so, naturally, ALL men have one less rib. (Just typing this makes me feel stupid.)

PlantMomaJ , Aswin Chembath Report

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Deborah B
Deborah B
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Actually, we got taught this in Sunday school and for several years I believed that this was how archeologists etc determined the sex of skeletons.

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When asked why we find a sense of satisfaction in witnessing someone else act foolish, Aczel explained it brings us both sorrow and joy at once. "The entire entertainment industry is built on people's desire to watch other people doing something very stupid. One possible answer is that when we watch others' stupid actions then we feel superior, we can easily think that we are not that dumb. Watching stupid actions also simplifies the complexity of the world temporarily: nothing is more obvious than the stupidity of a stupid act. Feeling superior and easing our brainwork is very pleasing for humans."

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#22

50 Times People Heard Someone Say Something So Blatantly Stupid, They Just Had To Share It Online A guy i knew thought that bones were made of wood.

firstvermillion , Wilmy van Ulft Report

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#23

50 Times People Heard Someone Say Something So Blatantly Stupid, They Just Had To Share It Online My friend once thought Aloe Vera was some European model who was hired for every cosmetic commercial because they would always say the product name and then “with aloe vera” as they showed models in the back dancing or washing their face or whatever. He thought she was one of them.

I believe the direct quote was something to the effect of “it’s crazy how she gets hired for literally every single commercial”.


This was in like 1995.

Curtainmachine , pisauikan Report

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Local foodie
Local foodie
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I understand if it’s a child who came to this conclusion but an adult?

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#24

I once had a professionally licensed Chiropractor in the State of California - San Luis Obispo (Hi Laura!) tell me that the Sun is a Planet. She could not be swayed in her opinion, so I purchased a National Geographic map of "Our Solar System", had it framed and made a gift of it to her. That ended our association.

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However, doing stupid things is simply a part of being human — often by mistake but sometimes by wish. "Why is it so tempting to get silly sometimes? The writer John Steinbeck says: 'Sometimes a man wants to be stupid if it lets him do a thing his cleverness forbids.'"

"Perhaps, acting smartly is very tiring and, occasionally, we have to take our leave from the control of rationality. It might be even adaptive to do that but only if we find the line between being silly and doing something really stupid," Aczel concluded.
#25

Pretty much anything believers of almost any conspiracy theory say. Whether it be Qanon, Antivaxx, climate change denial, flat earthers etc...there are some real f**ken dumb ppl out there

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Mistiekim
Mistiekim
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wait…is this just a conspiracy theory not to believe in other conspiracy theories??

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#26

50 Times People Heard Someone Say Something So Blatantly Stupid, They Just Had To Share It Online “You’re just gonna have to hold it like it’s your period.”

cookiesoverbitches , Anthony Tran Report

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#27

That wearing a face mask mid pandemic meant that I support the Taliban/the suppression of women in Afghanistan and want it the same in my country.

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#28

50 Times People Heard Someone Say Something So Blatantly Stupid, They Just Had To Share It Online Coworker couldn’t figure out why Alaska was cold and Hawaii was hot because “they’re next to each other on the map”

taco_sl*t16 , Internet Archive Book Images Report

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AKRaven
AKRaven
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

From Alaska, tired of ordering something online and getting an email back "We only ship to the USA" 🤦‍♀️

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#29

50 Times People Heard Someone Say Something So Blatantly Stupid, They Just Had To Share It Online Grade 11 Law class in high school the teacher was talking about different bills the government implemented in history, bill of rights for example

30 minutes into the lesson the girl next to me raises her hand and asks the teacher “who’s this bill guy we’ve been talking about”

The whole class burst out laughing and the teacher was struggling to keep it together as well

Suka_Blyad_ , howard_morland Report

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#30

50 Times People Heard Someone Say Something So Blatantly Stupid, They Just Had To Share It Online When I moved to Texas from Hawaii *multiple* people asked me how long the drive was.

BICSb4DICS , Karsten Winegeart Report

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#31

50 Times People Heard Someone Say Something So Blatantly Stupid, They Just Had To Share It Online We have a rightwing politician here in Australia who shot to fame as an independent that pandered to the worst xenophobic instincts of conservative voters in her maiden speech to parliament. In an interview with 60 minutes she was asked what she thought about Euthanasia - a hot button topic at the time - and her response????? “I don’t mind as long as they stay there!”. To no one’s surprise it cemented her place amongst ill educated rightwing voters and allowed her to start her own political party.

jhick107 , Manny Becerra Report

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Nathaniel
Nathaniel
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In some countries the above is a sound method of getting elected.

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#32

50 Times People Heard Someone Say Something So Blatantly Stupid, They Just Had To Share It Online Fellow student in a philosophy class.

"Evolution doesn't make any sense. How could monkeys evolve into humans in 2000 years since creation?"

sirkowski , Eugene Zhyvchik Report

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Bernd Herbert
Bernd Herbert
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

this one is also quite sad, it shows where religious indoctrination leads to

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#33

50 Times People Heard Someone Say Something So Blatantly Stupid, They Just Had To Share It Online During a foreign language class, when learning the names of different countries... Someone stopped the lecture and asked why this language we were learning, made up names for different countries. Why can't we just use the real names like Germany, Japan etc. Total silence. Then 10 minutes of the entire class trying to get this person to understand that Germany is not the name of Germany in German. That all these country names they know are all English "made up" names for those countries. They did not comprehend.
Confounds me to this date as this person was not from an English speaking country.

cellhk , Andrew Stutesman Report

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Monday
Monday
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

To be fair it is kind of weird that we made up new names for countries. We could have just stuck with whatever it was called in it's native language. It's not really much harder to remember "Deutschland" or "Nihon" instead of Germany and Japan.

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#34

Went to a friends house and saw his carbon monoxide detector by an open window. I asked him why it was there. “The smoke detector said ‘get to air,’ so I moved it so it would stop going off!” I don’t know how that guy’s still alive…

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Nicky
Nicky
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

But at least the carbon monoxide detector is safe.

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#35

My ex wife and I had a one hour argument - her insisting that 10:30am was in the afternoon. Started with her saying "we need to go at 10:30". Me: "I thought you said it wasn't until the afternoon?" "It is in the afternoon. 10:30. You know... later on." ME: "Afternoon doesn't mean later on... it means AFTER... NOON!" (arguing ensued). I still think about it all the time.

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#36

50 Times People Heard Someone Say Something So Blatantly Stupid, They Just Had To Share It Online A flat earther say Australia isn’t real , that it’s just made by the media to cover the fact the earth is flat .

kenworth117 , Denise Jans Report

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Bernd Herbert
Bernd Herbert
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

and yet, there are Flatearthers in Australia. That would be an interesting debate, between those 2

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#37

50 Times People Heard Someone Say Something So Blatantly Stupid, They Just Had To Share It Online A professor at Belmont once told me that cars could never run on electricity, because there are no electric components of a car.

I wasn’t sure where to go from there.

Soles4G , Andrew Roberts Report

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#38

Once when I took a class trip to Washington DC we went to a museum and saw a reenactment of something featuring George Washington on a big screen. While we were watching it I heard two girls from the front row. One of them asked the other, "Is this real footage?" And the other then replied, "No, if it was real it would be in black and white."

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Nobody
Nobody
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

well, duh, everybody knows the world was in black and white until 1935

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#39

50 Times People Heard Someone Say Something So Blatantly Stupid, They Just Had To Share It Online Met a nursing student who more or less believed the cure to cancer was "pretending like you don't have cancer."

Creepy-Original8200 , Olga Kononenko Report

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#40

conversation i once had with a grown woman:

her: 'the sunset is pretty this morning'

me: 'you mean sunrise'

her: 'oh. what's the difference?'

i thought she was joking. she was not

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Nicky
Nicky
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In high school on New Year's Eve we walked down to the beach to wait for the first sunrise of the new year. This was in California.

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#41

“Well, just listen better!” That was said to me by my teacher… im deaf

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Nathaniel
Nathaniel
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

WHAT A STUPID PERSON THAT TEACHER WAS. I AM TYPING IN CAPS TO MAKE IT EASIER FOR THE DEAF PERSON SHOULD THEY READ THIS COMMENT.

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#42

50 Times People Heard Someone Say Something So Blatantly Stupid, They Just Had To Share It Online A girl in middle school thought that trees flapping created wind rather than the other way around.

Halgy , Khamkéo Vilaysing Report

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#43

50 Times People Heard Someone Say Something So Blatantly Stupid, They Just Had To Share It Online That dogs don't have brains.

Urtaallthetime , Cristian Castillo Report

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Jul Chv
Jul Chv
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

They don´t. They run on cuteness and people calling them "good boys/girls".

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#44

“I live at 438 Cattle street. Remember it like 4 plus 3 is 8 cattle.”

“What?!”

I still remember that address

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#45

50 Times People Heard Someone Say Something So Blatantly Stupid, They Just Had To Share It Online 'It's really weird how cows developed udders so humans could drink their milk. How did that evolution come about?' - my brother, forgetting that baby cows exist

Followed by 'oh, well that understands it' when our mum explained

lumoslomas , Gabriel Porras Report

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#46

In the 1990's I went into a store in Canada (where I live) with a $100 American bill. I bought a bottle of wine for about $13. When the woman working the register worked out the exchange rate (about 13%) she said 'oh, you get $100 back' and handed back the American $100 bill to me and said 'funny how that works'

Back then I took it and left snickering... but I would correct the situation now if that happened, which I'm guessing never would again.

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#47

50 Times People Heard Someone Say Something So Blatantly Stupid, They Just Had To Share It Online SIL believed up to a very late age that meat was taken from an animal that was released back to the paddock to re-grow the missing piece. Then the cycle repeats

SheepShaggerNZ , Kyle Mackie Report

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Icy_Question_4977
Icy_Question_4977
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ya, when I was 5, i thought that the reason why raw meat turns to cooked meat was because of the heat and when the cooked meat is stored in a cold place, it would turn back to raw.

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#48

Wait wait,

Why have you been lying to me?! You said you were from Liverpool, not England!

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SheamusFan1987
SheamusFan1987
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I kinda think dinguses like that will Always Walk Alone because of their ignorance...

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#49

50 Times People Heard Someone Say Something So Blatantly Stupid, They Just Had To Share It Online A friend's boyfriend asked "What's roast beef made of anyway?" He was also a restaurant server. I told him "it's beef. Roasted". Cue surprised face then he laughed at himself. He wasn't the brightest.

anon , Sebastian Coman Photography Report

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#50

I dont wear a seatbelt, because in the case of a crash it can give you burnings. Was also a car without an Airbag. So good luck.

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#51

In my college there was a boy who asked what planet all these illegal aliens were from.

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#52

A friend of mine looked at me. And in all seriousness asked. "Can you get a tan on a cruise ship? Since you know it's moving?"

I asked her to explain what she meant. And she thought. That since the cruise ship was moving, the sun beams wouldn't hit the boat, since you know, it was moving. So the sun couldn't hit the boat.

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Robert T
Robert T
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Same applies to open top cars, only they can go faster. ;-)

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#53

RACIST TRIGGER WARNING

My old friend once said that black people were bread to be super humans, since they’re naturally more muscular than white people usually. And then she was like “all that work in the cotton fields did them favours” I wanted to stab myself in the ears

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Jihana
Jihana
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Black people are bread? Pumpernickel I guess. I am more of a potato bread kind of gal.

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#54

A woman I used to work with (who was a staunch Christian) said that she wasn’t concerned at all with climate change and that CC activists were selfish troublemakers.

I vehemently challenged this view by saying that the activists are only trying to get us to wake up because if we don’t address CC we will be destroying the earth, thus destroying ourselves and all future generations.

She responded by saying “well, if the earth does get destroyed then God will just make it all again, so I’m not worried”

I was rendered utterly dumbstruck by the stupidity and selfishness

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SheamusFan1987
SheamusFan1987
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Perhaps God will make it again without her if it happens...Smh

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#55

Not really saying something but my sister once text my dad to let him know he left his phone at home.

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Richard Bailey
Richard Bailey
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My fiancee was looking for her mobile phone while she was talking to me on her mobile phone. I like any good partner helped her with the 'search', offering suggestions where to check. Told her to call me back once she found it 😀

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#56

“Wait but how did Jews exist before Jesus?”

And

“Vikings where real!? I thought they where just cartoons.”

Same chick, mid thirties.

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#57

"Is your hair naturally long, or did you grow it out?"

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#58

I was addicted to inhalants at the time and told a buddy of mine. He suggested I quit and switch to meth. He's in jail now.

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wendillon avatar
Monday
Monday
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well half of that was ...actually no...just telling an addict to quit is like telling an asthmatic to breathe.

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#59

50 Times People Heard Someone Say Something So Blatantly Stupid, They Just Had To Share It Online I had a friend that thought that a rat was the female of a mouse and vice versa. It took me and hour to explain they are different species

Depresso_Machiatto , Nick Fewings Report

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#60

50 Times People Heard Someone Say Something So Blatantly Stupid, They Just Had To Share It Online "they're Asian not Korean"

anon , Christian Lue Report

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#61

Hank Johnson, a senator from Georgia, testified that he was worried about all of the troops being sent to Guam, because the island may tip over.

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JMil
JMil
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is why the east and west coast have similarly large population centers. Otherwise North America would have tipped over long ago.

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#62

My friend asked me how much my electricity bill was for the lights on my car…

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Roisin Reid
Roisin Reid
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have an electric car so this question wouldn't be so stupid.

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#63

A woman in my office asked another woman if “The Martian” with Matt Damon was based on a true story and the other woman said she wasn’t sure.

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#64

Beginning of high school, some kid argued with me that girls can't be straight, they can only be gay or lesbian. According to him, gay means liking men. So I say, "So you're telling me you're lesbian?" So he says, "No, only girls can be lesbian. Straight means men liking women, so I'm straight"

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#65

50 Times People Heard Someone Say Something So Blatantly Stupid, They Just Had To Share It Online I was calling around grocery stores in Missouri looking for Tofurkey for Thanksgiving for a vegan girlfriend. I called one store, and the woman who answered the phone said, “Let me transfer you to the meat department.”

Before I could object, I was talking to some guy in the meat department. I told him I wasn’t sure I was in the right department, but I was checking if they carried Tofurkey. He said, “Oh, I think I’ve heard of that! That’s like.... the vegetarian part of the turkey right?”

docmoonlight , Alison Marras Report

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wendillon avatar
Monday
Monday
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I dunno if it's just because I'm not American but I didn't hear the word "Tofurkey" until I was playing Sims 4 in my mid twenties so I can kind of understand the confusion here.

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#66

At the electronica dance party at Disneyland they had one of those laser shows where an actor bends the laser and this fully grown dude with the thickest yokel accent said “If theys real lasers how ain’t he cutting his fingers off?” It was so funny my family had to give up our spot by the stage so we wouldn’t laugh in his face

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M O'Connell
M O'Connell
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have to wonder if this man has encountered a laser pointer.

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#67

50 Times People Heard Someone Say Something So Blatantly Stupid, They Just Had To Share It Online My mom at an a&w/long john silver combo restaurant "what's the difference between the#2 on this menu and the#2 on the other one?"
Me "ones fish, the other is chicken"
Her "I know but what's the difference?"

Inuyasha-rules , Foo Visuals Report

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#68

“Was world war 1 after world war 2?”

This was in my English class as we were learning about historical contexts

“So the reason we have satellites is to spin the earth around on its axis?”

Said in year 8 science class when learning about the solar system

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wendillon avatar
Monday
Monday
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes! They had world war 2 and then realized they forgot to have world war 1 so they had to have another war!

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#69

A guy I work with was watching a show about the shroud of Turin. He said that they did a DNA test on the stains and that it was confirmed to be the blood of christ... And that his DNA was shaped like crosses.

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Bernd Herbert
Bernd Herbert
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The last sentence stems from some idiotic Christian claim, that the protein Laminin is shaped like a cross. It is sometimes drawn like that as a chemical structure, but of course, molecules, in reality, are not rigid. And even if they did....so what?

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#70

When I was a kid I had an uncle tell me that dinosaurs and humans coexisted. When I tried to explain to him that wasn’t true, he told my parents I was arguing and being disrespectful with an adult and I got in big trouble.

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Nicky
Nicky
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Of course dinosaurs and humans coexist. Haven't you seen the Flintstones?

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#71

My great aunt used to think that the sun and the moon were the same thing until my grandmother explained to her that they’re two completely different things 😀

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Bernd Herbert
Bernd Herbert
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Didn't that person never see the moon and sun at the same time?

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#72

A girl in my history class asked if Nagasaki and Hiroshima were hot sauces…

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#73

I knew this girl in highschool. She didn't eat meat, and she was allergic to most fruits. She would sometimes just eat from a grocery bag of spinach in class.

One time someone asked her: "If you don't eat any fruit, aren't you worried you'll get scurvy?"

And she said: "Nah, I brush my teeth."

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Diolla
Diolla
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You know, vitamin C can also be found in vegetables. So the question itself was not too bright either.

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#74

The way my mother informed me that my brother and his girlfriend had broken up.

"Oh, by the way, [GIRLFRIEND] is no longer with us."

I called my brother to offer my condolences and ask about wake/funeral arrangements. He was baffled. "She's not dead, we just broke up, what are you talking about?"

AtLeastImGenreSavvy Report

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#75

“The Amish don’t get covid because they don’t have TVs. So I stopped watching TV.”

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Bernd Herbert
Bernd Herbert
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes, that's how infectious diseases work. That's why people didn't go ill before the TV was invented....wait a minute

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#76

One of my best friends was convinced that Sweden and Finland were the same country and that Iceland didn’t exist.

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#77

Someone thought light was an element in the periodic table during an interview

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#78

Why Mexico's Independence Day isn't the same as the US's.

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Anni
Anni
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Like the American in Paris my Dad tells me about who was very upset when there was no July 4 celebrations and fireworks.

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#79

50 Times People Heard Someone Say Something So Blatantly Stupid, They Just Had To Share It Online I had a roommate that refused to believe that the earth rotates once per day. He insisted it rotated 24,000 times a day, and it was just so fast you couldn't see it. I thought maybe he got confused with 24,000 miles per day (like maybe how fast a point at the equator would rotate around the earth per day). But no. He said it was like when something is spinning so fast it's like a blur and you can't see the spinning anymore. 24,000 complete rotations per day.

EmeraldGlimmer , The New York Public Library Report

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#80

Mice lay eggs right?.........right?

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Robert T
Robert T
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes, little tiny dark brown ones. That's how you know you have mice. They leave their eggs everywhere! /s

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#81

That all birth control is 100% effective so condoms aren't necessary 🥲

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#82

50 Times People Heard Someone Say Something So Blatantly Stupid, They Just Had To Share It Online 'women who have small breasts, it is because they have little milk to breastfeed, on the other hand women with large breasts store more milk than small ones'

-jack, 3th year of highschool

lannatheloser , Brooke Cagle Report

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#83

A sous chef who made more money than me, a line cook, sincerely thought leaving a lid on a pot makes bringing water to a boil go slower because it "holds the heat down". I will refrain from repeating the other very horrible things this person has said.

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gerry.garh
gerry.garh
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm unsure if the difference can be appreciated in a regular pot. Still, water under pressure boils at a higher temperature (the principle of the pressure pot), so if the heat is constant, it will take longer to boil. The benefit is that food cooks faster, so the total time is shorter, and the energy used is lower.

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#84

I was in a sex ed class in college and we were discussing the anatomical features that a vulva possesses, including the location of the clitoris and how it is on the outside of the body, pretty close to the opening of the vagina.

A girl stopped the class to inform us that that was incorrect, and that the clitoris was actually behind the belly button. I can still hear her. “It’s behind the belly button. Behind the belly button. Behind the belly button! Right?”

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#85

My neighbor trying to make a case for America to reinstate the 18th Amendment. His reasoning? Alcohol is forced upon us by the Jews to keep us stupid and complacent.

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#86

In my freshman year of college, a biology professor started his semester with a speech about how science is how we explain everything in the modern world through experiments and peer review. A girl next to me had a smug look on her face and said, "If science can explain everything then why are people still doing experiments? Can't science just explain it? I mean just read a book." It took me a while to realize her wisdom and then it took me even longer to hold down my laughter.

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Benita Valdez
Benita Valdez
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Oof. In a college honors biology class, the professor was talking about some body process and this one girl starts questioning and saying "Well I'm different from other girls so my body would act differently so you cant say that at as a fact". The professor just looked at her and smiled and cut her off saying "the human body works the same way for everyone, you're not special because you identify differently on the outside"

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#87

A former friend of mine once said her horse was born as a gelding (no testicles). She seriously thought animals are either born female, male or "castrated". I couldn't believe it 😂

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#88

"My son can't come back home from base because he refuses to get the vaccine."

"Why not? It's just a vaccine."

"Hmph! No it isn't! I'm a nurse, I know! They put all kinds of chemicals and stuff in there, and it killed someone a friend knew. Got the vaccine, then had a heart attack a week later!" Said to me by someone who 1. Definitely was not a nurse 2. At a laundromat where all the broke people in my town go 3. After she said her son had to get a bunch of shots to go abroad in the first place.

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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No no they may be on to something here. Two weeks after the vaccine my bad knee started hurting so clearly there's something bad in it! /s

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#89

I once had a co-worker tell me he wanted to eventually take some time off work so he could drive down to Africa and see the Lions... For whatever reason he forgot that South America existed and Africa was not connected to the United States in any way shape or form

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Robert T
Robert T
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not for "the rains" then? Or "to do the things we never had"? ;-)

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#90

"Wasn't the pledge that thing that killed half of Europe?" - a girl I knew from school

"Humans actually have 306 bones in their bodies. Everyone always seems to be 100 off these days. Except me, of course." -a know-it-all, bratty kid who thought he was the smartest person in the universe even though basically everything he said was wrong.

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Bored Person
Bored Person
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Babies are born with around 306 but they weld together to about 100 less. Is he calling himself a baby?

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#91

I work at a coffee shop. On a daily basis people will ask if we have hot coffee.

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#92

My dad is a violinist in the Cleveland orchestra. They were on tour in East Germany 15 years ago. So he's on a train talking to one of the other violinists about how crazy it is after all these years, there is still bombed out buildings that hadn't been torn down or dealt with since wwii. Then stereotypical blonde chimes in... "wait, wasn't Germany our allies in the war?"

One of the stupidest things I've ever heard and I wasn't even there

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#93

I had a friend of a friend in middle school completely believe and argue with me that mice ran the traffic lights. She really believed that mice went into the traffic lights and changed the color, that why you always saw mice around busy roads. And wheen I say middle school I mean 8th grade, 13-14 years old. She didn't have the best upbringing...

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#94

A former high school colleague asked how planets stay put if there’s no gravity in “the space”. She followed up with “and if there’s no friction wouldn’t the planets keep moving in space? So how did they stop in the perfect place to form life?”

As you can probably guess, she was going for the “Proof God Exists” argument but wasn’t doing herself any favors with that reasoning.

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M O'Connell
M O'Connell
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I imagine she was one of the people who couldn't comprehend orbits as "traveling at a given speed in a frictionless environment"

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#95

I have a lot of birthmarks, some girl in high school pointed it out and said "oh, is it because you're mixed race?"

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DuchessDegu
DuchessDegu
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A girl in my school (can't remember exactly but we should've been 12-13) was absolutely adamant that the number of dark birthmarks/beautymarks/freckles on a white person was the number of black ancestors the person had 😶

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#96

MLM's are the ideal investing strategy

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Monday
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sure....as long as you are the owner and have an escape plan ready.

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#97

I work on trains 😅 I hear alot of stupid stuff but this was my top one yet.
We got to a station and the signal ahead was on red light meaning stop or do not proceed bassically the same as traffic lights, not complicated to explain. Made a announcement "sorry for the delay, we are currently being held on a red signal and will be moving momentarily" we did 5 minutes later but got stopped at the next station.

A couple were walking down the platform toward the exit I hear the husband/BF go "ah stuck at a red signal again" I acknowledge him and said "Yeh, red signal again" his misses looks me dead in the eye "whats a red signal?" I was stunned for a moment as I thought she was pulling my leg but she was seriouse. Her husband chimed in "you know, red means stop green means go" he said to her and we both saw she still hadn't sunk it in, he spoke again "like a traffic light" she took maybe 5 to 10 seconds but she gave a like "ooooo" as they kept walking down the platform.....

All I could think in that moment was she rather having a blank day where your head not functioning correctly or she one of the people you thing 'how do you get up in the morning'

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#98

My college educated friend said that her co-worker’s new baby had a “generic” disease.

My other friend was waxing poetic about wanting to be a teacher. She said “I want to be the one teaching them that there are 24 letters in the alphabet!” And yes, she did go on to teach.

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Nathaniel
Nathaniel
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2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

We do not need Q and U, just use Kw, like it is kwiet here today. 24 letters only!

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#99

One of my classmates said, “why you speaking Mexican?”.

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#100

When I had to fill out the form at the vets office I actually asked the difference between “breed” and “species”. In my defense it was the form to get her ashes back and I was distraught but yeah, still thinking about that…

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Local foodie
Local foodie
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You had a brain fart in the midst of grief. This is perfectly understandable

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#101

An ex’s friend who was studying genetics at Uni and in the middle of preparing a report on their study of manipulating a frogs genes to make them glow in the dark stopped to ask us “What day is Christmas this year?” - not as in “On what day does Christmas fall this year” - as in “What *date* is Christmas this year?”

They had a brain fart and thought that Christmas, like Easter, moved.

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#102

My sister has very severe dyslexia.
Once she asked me how to spell USB. I was dumfounded and thought she was joking. She asked again, how do you spell USB. I was like, yeah ok, its literally spelled USB as you say it. She freaked out and told me not to bully her for the dyslexia and tell her how to actually spell it. I started laughing and wrote it down on a piece of paper.. ill never forget the look on her face when she realised

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