A colleague bullied me and another colleague in the most blatant chauvinistic way while being super unprofessional and making loads of mistakes. I live in Sweden and sexual harassment and bullying is a sure way to get fired. He was from another " culture" and thought he'd get away with it. I basically just sat back and watched him hang himself with the rope he was given. He was so confused when he got fired. We were invited to the meeting when he was given the axe. It was glorious.

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tabithapaquette98

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I need to move to Sweden! 💕

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was in an accident driving through Kentucky and the lady was just… obnoxious.

She asked if I was staying in a hotel, I said yes. She asked if I was worried about them giving my room away, I said no… and she grinned triumphantly and said “so you have a credit card”.

No visible damage, but she insists on calling the police.

The officer arrived and she ran up and gave him a hug.

I asked how he knew her and he grimaced and said “she’s my aunt”.

I asked for another officer and he said “nobody’s getting a ticket and the report will say no visible damage. I’ll give you a copy before you leave. If you want to talk to my boss, you can - but the thing you’re worried about… you’re not the one who should be worried”.

I did speak to his boss later, who said “if she files against your insurance, send them to me.”

A few weeks later I get a call from my insurance company and I start panicking and start explaining that the other driver was related to the officer. The insurance rep explained “the officer included all three conflicting stories she told him. We just want to ask for your description of the accident and your permission to file a complaint on your behalf”.

I don’t know what happened, but I think back to that stupid grin, and I feel… contentment.

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Evelyn Fox

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As someone who has had something similar occur, I am smiling huge at this story! :-)

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Last week one of my supervisors(military) was going off on a rant comparing the pride flag to the N*zi flag and saying it was just a sex symbol. My adoptive mom is gay sooooo I just kept my mouth shut and reported him to equal opportunity and my lesbian supervisor.

He’s freaking the f**k out

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Ima Manimal

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Isn’t it amazing to see that look on their face when they realize they royally f****d up!!

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Decades ago, worked for a small, luxury furniture store. Part of it was managing the paperwork, part of it was programming the software. I wanted a raise, so I asked the new office manager for one.

He was a real piece of work. Roundly despised (and later fired for sexual harassment). He explained to me that I deserved a raise, but because we had so many outstanding accounts receivable (AR—unpaid bills), he couldn't afford it.

"So if I can get AR down there's money to pay me?"

He agreed ... but I had to get it down to zero and I had three months. S**t.

So I became a debt collector. This was a _luxury_ furniture store, so our clients had money. It turns out that the reason so many had outstanding bills is that no one was willing to ask the rich people for money. I did and they paid.

However, not all did. I was given permission to contract with a debt collection service. Any debts passed to them were no longer reflected on AR. That cleared quite a few debts.

A few others were written off when they threatened to sue over old bill (those went straight to the owner and he didn't want bad publicity).

At the end of three months, I had a meeting with the office manager. He was looking over the accounts receivable and told me he was very impressed.

I knew what was coming, so I let him ramble on.

I had pulled in a ton of money for the company. He was happy about that. He'd love for me to permanently add collections to my responsibilities. I was doing great work.

"But there's just one problem, OvidPerl. AR isn't at zero. There's still thousands outstanding. I can't give you that raise."

I pointed to the accounts still outstanding. "If you check the unpaid accounts, you'll see that almost all of them are members of the owner's family. I can send them to collections if you like. That will actually reduce our AR below zero."

He was pissed and quickly told me to forget about it. I got the raise.

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tabithapaquette98

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Great job!

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When I practiced family law I saw this often on the stand. Turns out if your opponent is crazy most of the time all you need to do to reveal that is give them a microphone and mildly question their story.

The best, however, was in Motion to Withdraw hearings. For context, I hated these hearings. I dreaded them. I already felt like a failure for having to withdraw from a case (95% of the time because the client couldn’t/wouldn’t pay me, but sometimes because they turned out to be uncooperative and/or combative with me). They were not difficult to win, however. Inevitably if I simply asked the (ex-)client when and how they intended to right their retainer they’d start listing off excuses about how they don’t and never will have the money to do so. It’s heartbreaking, but it also proves my point.

The clients who were uncooperative, however, were the best. I’d read off a list of times they cursed me out, ignored my advice, and threatened me and my staff, then just wait. You could watch their blood boil on the stand, followed by completely unhinged justification as to why no lawyer could reasonably work with this person.

“Mr. Jones, can you explain why you threatened to ‘shove a phone up my paralegal’s a*s’ if she called you again?”

“She calls me every f*****g week with another f*****g thing that I have to do! You’re supposed to be handling my case! It’s why I hired you! I don’t have time to be searching through my emails and getting bank records and bringing you papers every damn day! And every time my retainer is empty for like a day she calls to remind me to refill it! I’ve got other things to pay for, like the damned child support you put on me when I left! How rude can you be, right? Right? I swear if I have to hear her damned voice one more f*****g time I’m going to drive over there and slap the s**t out of her!”

“Your honor, I rest my case.”

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StitchIsCuteAndFluffy

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That last line 🤣

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Was in a cooking class at high school, we got put into groups. My enemy/bully, was in our group, we were making chocolate eclairs. I had made them heaps at home so knew how to donut, but nobody else had. I had barely even spoke when the girl piped up and said she knew what they were doing and pretty much told me to fk off. So I walked out and sat outside for the majority of the class. When it came near the end I went back inside, and sure enough my group had failed. They didn't read the recipe and just mixed everything together and then tried to bake it and wondered why it didn't work. They had mixed the chocolate sauce ingredients into the choux pastry mix. I just was like, told you so

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Evelyn Fox

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"SWEET" revenge!!

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Back when I was at university, our final year was a big multi-discliplinary group project where students from different courses formed teams to build games over the course of the year.

I joined a team where I had basically two roles, because my degree was split in focus (somewhat stupidly, it was a mistake to sign up for it, but oh well). Another guy on our team had the same, so between us we were supposed to be doing the work of two, just split into two areas.

He did nothing. I took one half of his work, someone else took the other half. What work he did was sh*t quality and unusable and had to be redone. It was a mess. We tried talking to him about it repeatedly, but to no avail, he just didn't put in the work. The warning sign was probably that this was his 5th year of a 3 year degree, the dude took two attempts at every year.

Part of our submission was a massive report where we were each supposed to break down what we did on the project, how, and why. We left his section as basically a single sentence stating "[Name] contributed to the project".

That was more than he deserved, but at the same time it essentially called out explicitly that he did almost no work, including on the shared document. We didn't tell him that section was there, but we were all in that same doc writing, and we were all expected to contribute. He would've seen it if he'd opened it to write anything during the entire process.

He flipped out when he found out after submission. He did not graduate. I do not feel sorry for him.

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tabithapaquette98

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Nor should you. He got what he deserved.

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It's so dumb but so fun.

Years ago I worked in a cube farm office job and I hated my desk arrangement. It was right in a high traffic pathway, with my back to everyone, screen facing out so anyone could just sneak up behind me lurking, peer over my shoulder while I worked, etc... which really just bothers me. I was the first person in my department anyone would encounter, and I was also very good at what I did, so people would just see me first and interrupt me constantly all day.

Well, the office got reconfigured, and me and a bunch of other people in that area worked in a big conference room for a couple days during the shuffle. The guy moving around all the cubicle panels was a good friend, so I told him to ping me the minute a back wall desk was finished so I could move my stuff there. He did, and I did. This other guy I was friends with saw what I was doing and followed me, so we claimed the back two wall desks across from each other.

There was a super obnoxious senior developer who figured out way too late what was going on, and got very pissed. Apparently there was some old seating chart (which no one had followed at all as they re-did the cubes section by section), and it had him on a back wall. So he grabbed his old seating chart printout and marched into the Senior VP's office right then and there to complain. I heard him ranting and raving about the chart this and the chart that. He needed to sit in the back to concentrate, blah blah blah.

I just let him monologue for a minute or two because for some reason, he was exceptionally frantic about it. At the absolute perfect time, I got up to go to the break room, and as I walked by I poked my head in the office chuckling innocently and said "C'mon man, is too busy for this silly stuff. I'll move my desk, who cares where we sit?"

It was like a five-second TKO. He immediately started stammering about how much he didn't care and how he insisted I just keep my stuff there, so I feigned indifference and said OK, no problem. It was one of my greatest moments in petty office politics.

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Preface: I have always done my paperwork in blue Pilot G2 pen (not shilling. It’s a very distinct color and hard to cover). Also, this will be a small novel.

At one of my previous jobs I had just gotten my machine making product ready for packing. The only problem was the outer lip diameter was *just* too big (think 0.01 of an inch off). Nothing I did could get the diameter down. It was just too hot for the plastic to be formed smaller without cooling the die further, which was not then possible Quality and my supervisor quibbled about it for awhile. It was decided, and hoped, the product would further shrink in storage as it continued to cool and set. So quality tech signed off approving the variance.

Several months down the line a couple customers complain lids aren’t fitting right sometimes (later found out only with hot foods or in hot environments). I get called in to the front office for a final warning, a big quality alert (they ended up refunding *anyone* who bought product made by me), and a copy of the quality paperwork. Quality tech is saying she never approved me running that product with the quality variance and has a copy of my paperwork “proving” it.

I waited until everyone spoken their piece, pulled out my pen, flipped the write up over and wrote “I refuse to sign this write up because I do not deserve it”. I then told them to go pull every quality sheet, every training signoff, and even my job application and job offer and notice I write in blue ink. The quality sheet in front of me is a photocopy because all my writing is in black, not blue.

Plant manager threw the write up into the shredder and told me to go home for the day (I had already worked a 12 hour shift before this) and forget about this happening. He did *not* look amused.

There was a new quality tech the next night I went in.

TLDR: if you work in any field that requires regular paperwork, use a blue pen.

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SewingStaffy

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I always used green at one job I had. Paid for the pens myself and made sure I took it home at night (office theft). Managed to get out of a lot of problems others tried pinning on me

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Horrible neighbor selling a car when I needed one. She asked for $1000. I offered $750. She said "let's just split the difference, pay me $500."

Alrighty then.

She never figured out what she had done.

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Jacques-Olivier NICOLAS

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I'm going to use this story to explain to my daughter why she has to work on math class. ^ ^

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I'm working on a job site and the architect is there one day. I've been given some light fixtures for the sconces in a leasing office lobby. The fixtures are meant to be hung from a ceiling, they can't be installed on a wall. I attempt to convey this to the architect, but he brushes me off and just tells me to follow the prints. I turn to the apprentice and say, well you heard the man, put them up. A bit later, we hear the crashing of glass. The architect asks what was that? I said, your light fixture. As I picked up a broom and dustpan to go clean up.

Edit: told the apprentice to clean it up, of course.

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I’ve Seen Things

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Should have made the architect clean up

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When I was a teenager a cousin of mine (Jenny) had a fight with her mom (Jackie). The fight was so intense that Jackie BEAT Jenny severely, so she called mom and dad asking for help and asked to live here for a while. At the time that sounded horrifying, but we quickly learned that Jenny was full of f*****g s**t. Jenny was a drama queen, loved to stir up trouble, lied constantly about basically everything and Jackie never laid a hand on her. We had heard rumors but dismissed them and believed her ... Until one incident.

Mom always kept a few frozen pies in the freezer, just in case company came over... Jenny took a pie from the freezer one day, ate the entire damn thing and when Mom came home, she got angry because those pies were for company. She asked Jenny who ate the pie and she said I did. She yells for me, I come into the kitchen, she asks if I ate the pie, I said no, and get yelled at for eating the pie.

Jenny then proceeds to launch into telling this overly elaborate tale about how I took the pie and ate it *just* to get her in trouble. She went on for like 3 minutes and mom just kept getting angrier and angrier at me, while I couldn't help grin like a madman. 3 minutes later she finishes her story and I point something out.

It was a coconut cream pie she ate. I ***DESPISE*** coconut. I hate it and will never eat it. Mom KNEW this and the realization hits her, Jenny gets a look of horror in her face.

She got grounded for a month. The look of both of them is seared in my mind. Makes me smile when I think of it.

The funny thing is, she tried it again 2 months later, this time eating a chocolate cream pie, but mom didn't believe her.

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René Sauer

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Not really impressed with your mom either, OP.

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I once worked for a project in a call center and we constantly had QA on our as*es about call quality. They would review every call and send the report to you and your supervisor who would sign off on it then send it back to QA. If you got two reports under 90%, there'd be a warning and you'd be fired after four. Now, this was all done via email so I'd save all my reports just in case. My first couple weeks, I got dinged with a warning but everything after that I maintained at least 95% or above according to the reports I was getting.

One week I noticed a few agents were getting let go, agents I always thought were good. At the time, the project was looking for supervisors and these were the guys you would want. I found out they had all been hit with bad reports which led to the firings. Then one day HR calls me and let's me know I'm fired for several reports saying I scored insanely low scores. Just one problem, I had the reports saying those were all over 90% and I told HR I had them. The HR rep asks me to forward all of them to review and I do so.

A couple hours later I get another call from HR saying I'm being reassigned to another project with better pay. Turned out the QA was fudging the reports AFTER the supervisors signed off on select agents because they had certain agents they were friends with and wanted them to get the management positions. Even worse, everyone in management knew and didn't care. The project got shut down and the fired agents were all brought back and placed in better paying projects like I was.

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tabithapaquette98

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Jeez. Wtf is wrong with people? I'm glad you had proof and that the others were brought back.

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I worked at a large vape juice manufacturer printing labels for the bottles.

We had a particular production manager who thought she was my boss (she wasn't. We were on the same level of the hierarchy) and thought her stuff was a priority to me. She could not understand that we had a whole process and knew exactly what needed to be printed in what order to fulfill all of our orders. Our boss told me to just do my best to work with her and get her what she requested so she'd shut up.

She decided one day to order 150k of each label for two particular lines we had so she would never have to wait for labels again. The whole company knew that regulations were changing and requirements on labels were changing.

I tried to explain this to her and that I didn't think this was a good plan. She insisted repeatedly. I finally said f**k it and started doing it while having my team do their best to keep up with our actual priorities. Stayed late, got lots of overtime. When our boss finally clued in to the order I was 300k labels into 600k of the first line.

When asked I told him that he had told me to do what it takes to make her stop b**ching and that's what I was doing. He put an instant stop to it. She got written up and those labels were still on a shelf in the corner 3 years later when we shut down.

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Psalm Daisy

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I went to work on a large government installation in a remote area. A woman I had never met filed a sexual harassment complaint against me. The fictitious event took place a year before I showed up there and I had been 1200 miles (1931km) away.

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tabithapaquette98

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Why do people do that? It makes it so much harder when it actually happens!

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I was working as a cub reporter in a small town and had done a piece on stray dog menace in some area (plenty of dogs had attacked kids in a short while). The dog lovers of the town took that piece as a 'I hate all dogs' article. They shared it in their WhatsApp group and started talking trash about me. What they did not know was that the admin of the group ran a dog shelter and a few months back, I had done a piece on the shelter, so I was in the group too. At one point, they began scheming that they'd cook up stories about me lying in the story and complain to the publication. Mind you, these are 'upstanding' citizens - doctors, lawyers, senior executives. So their word had weight against a rookie reporter. I just showed the chat to the editor. He had a good laugh about it. Never knew what happened after that but hours later, they stopped b**ching about me. The admin of the group apologised to me separately (he didnt need to) but never did tell them that I was a part of it

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Marleina Hershberg

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They all lost credibility that day.

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When I worked in pediatrics in the navy and none of the parents liked me to the point that some started writing ICE complaints to the CO.

The department was told to drop me at the insurance department since there was no actual evidence and my clinic vouched hard for me to stay. Until new leadership came in and said "it's one guy making us look bad, byebye"

I was on leave at the time of the decision, when I came back I was just moved instantly.

I was told to write a statement on what I actually do for the clinic. I did, they looked at it and laughed saying "EVERYONE does this! You're not special bud"

A month after I had left they actually had to shut down the clinic to retrain everyone because I was their work horse. For the remainder of my time there, they would occasionally swing by and ask my new leadership to give me back.

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Marleina Hershberg

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Why didn't ANY parents like you?

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I worked in a country-wide company and needed something done by a peer in another office. She was very uncooperative and was arguing with me that she should not do what I was asking because it was not the correct procedure.

It was, in fact, the correct procedure as per my boss (who was her boss' boss), but before I could tell her where I had gotten my instructions, she took it upon herself to send me a very condescending email, CCing her boss and mine. She was clearly trying to put me on the spot for being wrong.

I just waited until both her boss and mine told her that I was right, and I was just sitting there thinking "why are you makinfgthis so hard on yourself girl" 🥴

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In a meeting with my project manager who has not been in the office or worked a proper full day for MONTHS. she has increasingly been annoyed by people bypassing her to get things done by telling me and her other direct reports what to do. I was about to answer a question for stakeholders, she told me to let her speak one sentence and will let me have my bit. I did as I was told, and she told the stakeholder a completely wrong thing about the system we were handling and made a complete fool out of herself.

She got sacked this month.

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StitchIsCuteAndFluffy

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In one sentence, she got herself fired 🤦‍♀️

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My ex boss was a complete douche in every aspect. We worked as surveyors using drones to scan and survey large areas, and he would go out of his way to get the cheapest and least reliable drones to do the job.

One of those drones was this god-awful fixed wing (shaped like a plane with only one propeller) that you launched using this s**t slingshot system that had a 50% chance of just launching the thing nose-down into the ground.

I told him this things a piece of s**t, I even recorded my launches with it so he could see this thing was a piece of s**t, but he insisted I was just a "s**t pilot who couldn't take off a DJI to save my life". After three crashes, two rolls of duct tape and a few arguments, he decides to come with to the next big job we have and just do it himself.

Now the turnover times for these jobs were insane. The man had zero concept for how long s**t takes, so he'd promise the clients the data the very next day. Which meant that EVERYTHING would have to go perfectly the day of the flight, with zero delays, so I could process the data overnight and have it ready for them the next day. No room for errors, no second chances, every morning it was make or break.

So we get to the site in the early morning, and I'm completely hands-off. Normally I'd pack a second drone for when this one inevitably kamikazes into the earth, but this time, I decide he needs a slice of humble pie. I watch as he sets up the drone, runs through the checks, loads it onto that god-awful f*****g slingshot and gets ready to pull the trigger. I take a few steps back, take out my phone to record, and watch the fireworks.

He pulled the lever and the bungee cord released. It whipped the drone ten feet into the air at Mach 2, before the thing nose dived right into the ground breaking off one of the wings. After about 2 seconds of teetering on the ground, the drones autopilot thought to itself "Hey, that was a launch, wasn't it?" And automatically kicked the propeller into high gear, shattering it against the cold, unforgiving ground.

He just watched the whole thing happen with a dead look in his eyes. Once the drone settled down and the death throes stopped, he picked up the drone, walked back to us, and said "well, s**t". The 4 hour drive back to the office was completely silent, and our boss had to call the client and explain why we wouldn't be delivering the data to them on time. We had another job we had to do the next day, so they'd only have it next week. I could hear the client screaming to him over the phone from the next room.

Needless to say, we never used that drone again. He never stopped buying s**t drones, but when I told him they were s**t, he believed me.

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Evelyn Fox

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I sure hope you also filmed his face as it crashed. lol

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I have to keep this a little vague.

I'm in jury trial. It's an assault case. My client is pleading self defense. Nobody died but somebody got whupped. I can't get a bunch of the s**t I want into evidence. No choice but to put client on the stand.

I know this is high risk/high reward. I've prepped client. We go for it.

I get basics out and let the prosecutor go at him. PA got in there and HARANGUED him, mostly about not calling the cops.

PA then does rebuttal. Puts cop on the stand to explain how much they don't like him, don't trust him, wouldn't put anything past him or turn their back on him, etc. Reputation evidence, in essence. I let it go past what I could object to. I was sitting there like "oh this is too much but go off officer." It's a small community, they know each other.

Basically wrote my closing for me. "Why didn't he go to the police? The police told you why he didn't go to the police."

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Evelyn Fox

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Brilliant!

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I just had this happen.

A contractor on a project I'm working on was doing a really poor job installing equipment. I found their foreman, attempted to show him what he was doing wrong and what needed to be done to fix it. Some of it was so bad I was worried about it failing completely.

He wanted nothing to do with me, then said the words that did it for me....."I've been doing this for 10 years and have installed 12 of these. I don't need your help. We'll take care of it." (I've been doing this for almost 19 years and making sure it's done correctly is actually my full time job)

Ok. Good talk.

A few days later I was onsite and saw that he kept doing it his way and hadn't fixed anything, and had installed more of it poorly. I called a meeting and voiced my concerns and a stop work order was issued until the corrections were made. His bosses realized his attitude cost them thousands and he was off the job the next day.

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tabithapaquette98

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As he should be! I hate people who won't listen and think they are always right.

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In court, my ex wife was challenging the judge by reading laws written on pieces of paper torn out of the back of books from the jail library. She was there on kidnapping charges. My lawyer, one of the most stoic men I have ever met, was struggling not to laugh. He held up a manilla folder to cover his face, and then looked over at me and silently shook his head. I put on my best poker face as this farce went on for several minutes.

The judge had enough, stood up, rested her hands on her desk and leaned over. She then told my ex to sit down and shut up, that she had been a lawyer for 20 years and a judge for ten, and she didn’t need the laws explained to her. I was given full custody immediately.

Core memory unlocked.

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tabithapaquette98

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She couldn't even right then down? She had to tear the books? Sorry, I'm a book lover.

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I was an attorney.

Other side sues my client alleging he missed work for FMLA protected reasons, and his termination was wrongful.

I look up plaintiff in public records database, and see that he had court dates on all of the days he missed work.

Instead of immediately confronting plaintiff to give him time to change his story, I depose plaintiff and have him walk me through every minute of every day he missed work. He leaves out the court part.

A month after the deposition (after the time passes when the deposition can be corrected) I send plaintiff’s lawyer printouts of the court records with the relevant dates highlighted, along with a paperwork to voluntarily dismiss the case and a letter stating that any further action in the case will result in a motion against him for bad faith litigation.

Don’t hear a peep from the lawyer, but get the dismissal order from the judge a week later.

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Nikki Sevven

Nikki Sevven

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Ended up being forced to file an EEO case against my former supervisor after she refused to abide by my medical restrictions following a work injury. She submitted a deposition consisting of a long, rambling description of how horribly I treated her, insulting her and being insubordinate. As I pointed out to the admin judge (and the employer's attorney), I was absent on that day...and provided a certified leave slip to prove it. I won my case.

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Had gotten into an arguement with a girl who my bf at the time cheated on me with… she was telling one of her group chats (in detail) about the hook up….. guess who was in the group chat……me.

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StitchIsCuteAndFluffy

StitchIsCuteAndFluffy

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Oh yikes. On a side note, why does anybody want to hear extensive details about a hookup?

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Everybody was complaining about the sous chef. He was a mess and made everything harder. He did like 50% of his responsibilities and had been complaining that he wasn't getting enough support. I was passionately spearheading the mission to get him fired but he did not know this about me. He confided in me that he was going to "tell on" his supervisor, someone who works so hard, so much, and is a genuinely beloved boss. Knowing that almost everyone in the building was over him and that he was about to go blame it on someone everybody loves was so exciting...he was fired a few days after he told me his plan. *chef's kiss*

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whatever

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I was stuck working with a real a-hole of a chef who everybody hated. One day he was being his big a-hole self and pissed off a dishwasher.....who was about 6'-2" and built like a Steelers linebacker....who then grabbed the chef in a bear-hug and started slamming him against the wall. This happened after I quit (without a notice) since I couldn't take it anymore and had to talk myself out of punching this a-hole in the face one day. Place ended up folding a couple of months later.

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In high school this group of girls who started this huge beef against me over nothing. They posted about it on their Snapchat, phoned me up, texted me. So by copying that stuff for once I had hard evidence against them when I brought it to the school. They regretted that 😌

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whatever

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So glad we didn't have this social media b******t when I was in school. S**t was hard enough as it was, screw that !

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My wife was a school teacher with 20 years under her belt. She was paired with a "co-teacher" for (what we used to call) the special-ed students.

Wife and co-teacher did not get along. It got to the point where wife and co-teacher (and their respective bosses) were sent to mandated mediation.

Near the end of the mediation session, co-teacher asks the mediator "So what's the next step if this doesn't work?"

Turns out, the next step is "The one without tenure gets let go."

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Back when speed camera vans were common on the area and was living in at the time I was running some errands one time and noticed the van on the side of a fairly busy road, situated on a bend so if you were northbound you likely wouldn’t notice it until you were in a curve. I had a bit of back-and-forth running around that I had to do and noticed it was still there an hour or so later when I passed it in the opposite direction.

Later in the day I was still taking care of things and was headed north again on the same road. There was a real aggressive ahole in traffic this time, speeding when he could, weaving in the lanes to try to get ahead even though it was now rush hour and no real progress would be made, gunning his engine, etc. and I could see after a couple stoplights that this guy was peeved at the audacity all these other people had at having to be on the road the same time as him.

He wound up at a stoplight next to me and one car behind, following someone that didn’t pull away at the green quite as fast as I did so he cut somebody off to get over to my lane. Now he’s tailgating me on the northbound stretch and I wondered if the speed trap was still set up.

Because I’d gone a little quicker than the guy next to me, a gap started to open in the left lane but he’s still on my a*s because it hadn’t yet widened out to full car length. So as we started nearing the curve where I had seen the trap earlier, I speed up a little to increase the gap, then took my foot off the gas going into the turn. Mr. Aggro Driver did what I predicted he would and punched it to overtake me on the outside right as the camera van became visible.

The pop of the flash when he passed the van did put a grin on my face.

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Phobrek

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That's some fine precision fuckery right there 😊

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When my mom was pregnant with my little brother, she went shopping and a woman drove into her car during parking. My mother called the police to make a report which the woman didn't like but begrudgingly obliged. Once the police was there the woman started telling lies, saying my mom was the one who hit her car. In the meantime both my stepdad as well as her husband arrived. The woman then insulted my mom in Polish, telling her she is a terrible mother and hopes she loses her baby etc etc. This went on for a while until my stepdad revealed that he also spoke Polish. Idk if this ended up in the report for the police or not. Was absolutely terrifying for me mom though.

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At my current job, part of my duties is to do trailer audits (make sure people are unloading/loading safely) and I was training a new member for the position to do the job.

After a few weeks, it turns out that the other person wasn't doing ANY aspects of the job, instead they were just mingling like it was a cocktail party. When asked why they weren't doing anything, they say it was because they were never trained.

Well, turns out that due to past complaints about this particular person management put them on a PIP, that if they got any type of training they were to have a piece of paper documenting what kind of training it was, who trained them and management sign off, with all party's signatures. When they pulled the file that said they were indeed trained in all duties of the job, they just sat there silent and was fired.

They were fired because they pulled the same stunt in every department of the building, and mine was their last chance.

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A former coworker decided to blast profanity at me for having used a company truck typically assigned to him from the night prior. His biggest problem was that I destroyed the seat with my big fat a*s. I calmed down as much as I could and called my supervisor who rushed over and sat us both the company office. With the exception of a few head nods and "yes" answers, I let my coworker dig himself deeper and deeper. He was a very loud and bombastic character so it was easy. Supervisor advised him to collect his personal belongings and take a few days off to cool down. He was then fired after 3 days rest. As for the truck seat, I forgot to reset the lumbar support on the seat.

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While I was doing squad leader training after basic, we were doing live fire exercises with machine guns (the MG 240 specifically). We took turns being squad leaders, while the others stood in as grunts.

It was basically form up, go up a hill, get into position, give orders, shoot targets and retreat back to the staging area. Pretty basic stuff.

One stipulation was that everyone was to bring their rifles at all times since the MG might jam or whatever.

When it was my turn to be squad leader I reminded everyone to bring their rifles, but of course the two most gung ho Rambo types refused citing it unnecessary. I was about to start chewing them out, but I noticed that the guy reloading the ammo belts was doing it wrong. You have to really try, but you can insert the cartridge backwards. I also noticed one of the officers who was overseeing the exercise eavesdropping from behind a tree.

So I let them go without their rifles. The MG of course wouldn’t fire when they got to the firing line, so all they could do was just lay there.

I was chewed out for letting them get away with not bringing their rifles (which I knew would happen), but the verbal a*s whooping the other guys got was of epic proportions.

Both of them actually turned out alright in the end, maybe this was a bit of a teaching moment.

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Marleina Hershberg

Marleina Hershberg

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1 year ago

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Reminds me of Starship Troopers.

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I’m a trial attorney. A prosecutor many years ago. Kidnapping case. Defense attorney put MY main detective on the stand. I was able to lead and cross-examine my whole case out of the Detective a second time. IYKYK

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Tired Panda

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Got lucky on that one, plus defense attorney did NOT do his homework! Egg on face!!

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We were building a house last year. I’ll be the first to say I’m not the easiest client, I’ve managed general construction/fabrication my entire professional career.

So our upgrade list was extensive, I want what I want and will gladly pay for it. Problem is their team had no idea what to do with someone like me for change orders and a sign off procedure.

I draft a 7 page excel document of all non standard changes, put sources, cad drawings. Specs etc they just have to fill in the price date and sign off.

Well instead of doing that they want to use their templates, one for design sign off, one for financial, put together by two different people…

Design was right, finance wasn’t but we never corrected them. We got 30k of upgrades outta the builder on that one.

TL;DR spec custom house, their team doesn’t like my paperwork uses theirs, they lose 30k in upgrades cause they missed it

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10 years ago I had a coworker everyone found pretty annoying. She was an idiot who thought she knew better than everyone else, and would get offended at every opportunity. She took something I said the wrong way one day and got really upset, and I just, didn’t say anything. I would not indulge her insanity. So she quit. Grabbed her stuff and walked out on a job she’d had for years. No one spoke a word to stop her.

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David

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Some people get offended easily. I had a coworker who was sexist against men (based on prior comments). One day after I get off the phone with a client she pulls me aside to tell me how she overheard me referring to data cable ends as male and female and how that is sexist and inappropriate and such. I informed her that had long been industry standard for electrical and plumbing components, not something of my own invention and she could easily google up lots of examples. Sometimes a word is just a word.

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We were doing a Power Point presentation on Niels Bohr (the guy who found atoms had energy), for chemistry class.

Anyways, I made sure to gather information for half of the presentation, while a friend gathered the other half. Anyways, Emily (not real name) decided she wanted nothing more to do the presentation, which was just putting pictures and bullet points (friend and my told her which ones to put and were), and nothing else. Of course Emily waited until Sunday at 23:59 (we had chemistry on Monday at 08:00) to finish the presentation, and decided she wanted to present what I was doing, and because she did the presentation, she gets to choose what to do and not, leaving me to do only one slide, which was “his life”.

Petty guy that I am, I just summed up everything Bohr did on his life, including explaining the energy stuff (mind you, I knew, and understood the subject better than Emily). Emily’s got her turn, and screwed up to the point I had to intervene, and explain it by myself. When we were all finished, the teacher asked us about who did what, and I kindly explained what happened. I got an A, b***h Emily a C

Also Emily stated a rumor that I had gay sex with my best friend, f**k Emily

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Majungasaurus

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1 year ago

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Fûck Emily

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