ADVERTISEMENT

No one is perfect; no matter how much we idealize a person—be it a family member, a partner, an idol, or someone else—they ought to have flaws. At least one. And even though it’s important to try and accept people for who they are—the good and the bad included—sometimes that one flaw can outweigh all the good qualities they possess.

Redditor u/WoodenInevitable1574 recently asked the ‘Ask Reddit’ community what is one red flag in a partner that negates all the green ones, and members had plenty to share. Ranging from dishonesty to the daily number of selfies taken, their answers covered all sorts of factors that would fend them off from otherwise even the most perfect of partners. Scroll down to find them on the list below, together with some of the OP’s thoughts on the matter, which they shared with Bored Panda during a recent interview.

#1

They voted for Trump. That shows a clear lack of kindness, integrity, and intelligence.

Catzrjoy Report

Add photo comments
POST
Aaron W
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Supporting Trump is not a political position, it's a psychological one.

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#2

People Share The Ultimate Red Flag That Overshadows All The Green Ones, Here Are 30 Of The Most Accurate Ones There's a lot, but the one I have that isn't here yet is animal cruelty, except if it's towards a cockroach.

achmadr_az , Tillmann Hübner Report

Add photo comments
POST
Loverboy
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hurting a grown adult is one thing. Hurting something that has no real way of stopping you or defending itself is another. F*****g pieces of s**t

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#3

People Share The Ultimate Red Flag That Overshadows All The Green Ones, Here Are 30 Of The Most Accurate Ones Only respecting women they’re attracted to.

roasttrumpet , Tirachard Kumtanom Report

Add photo comments
POST
Alexia
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And when they're not attracted to that woman anymore, she'd get the same disrespect as the others.

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu

The redditor told Bored Panda that the reason they posed the question was an ended relationship. “I asked it as some surprising revelations came up from a failed relationship I was involved in, and I was curious if I was a unique case,” they said.

Professor of psychology at the Derner School of Psychology of Adelphi University, Lawrence Josephs, PhD., pointed out that sometimes people turn a blind eye to red flags and character flaws while in a relationship, especially in the very beginning. It is related to the phenomena of ‘the primacy effect’, ‘the confirmation bias’, and ‘motivated perception’.

ADVERTISEMENT
#4

People Share The Ultimate Red Flag That Overshadows All The Green Ones, Here Are 30 Of The Most Accurate Ones Having different levels of respect for people according to their profession, status, health, finances, popularity, race, etc...

You know the ones that cozy up to their peers while yelling at the waiter that brings their food to the table, mocking a special needs customer on the other table for "fun" and/or talking trash about people with a different skin color behind their backs because how dare they?

I hate those people, and make it a point to avoid them like the plague.

RossaToad , Pixabay Report

Add photo comments
POST
D. Pitbull
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Oh hey, I see OP has met my sibling! Yeeah... don't ever EVER tell me "they're family! Forgive everything!" - no.

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#5

People Share The Ultimate Red Flag That Overshadows All The Green Ones, Here Are 30 Of The Most Accurate Ones I have a bunch, but the one that'll get me downvoted to hell? Extremely devout in their religion. Doesn't matter what religion to me - if they're seriously religious, I'm gone.

sonicscrewery , Robert Stokoe Report

The primacy effect refers to people presenting the best version of themselves when they first start dating someone, in order to make a good first impression. Dr. Lawrence Josephs suggested that such a positive impression can influence our judgment and the way we perceive the person in the future.

ADVERTISEMENT

That often leads to confirmation bias, which means people tend to selectively look for evidence that could confirm their first impression. Similarly, they often choose to ignore anything that can challenge the positive impression, including all sorts of red flags.

#6

People Share The Ultimate Red Flag That Overshadows All The Green Ones, Here Are 30 Of The Most Accurate Ones Never admitting they were wrong, even in the face of evidence. Never apologizing.
No empathy for other’s distress.

LaLizarde , Ryan Hoffman Report

Add photo comments
POST
Sue Denham
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This. And blaming any wrongdoing on someone else. "Someone told me to do it." "If he hadn't done . . . I wouldn't have had to . . .."

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#7

People Share The Ultimate Red Flag That Overshadows All The Green Ones, Here Are 30 Of The Most Accurate Ones Racism/hate.

ihithardest , Clay Banks Report

Add photo comments
POST
Alexia
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Many use their education/ background as an excuse for their racist views. Nope. At some point in life, you are making your own choices. My father is racist, homophobic, xenophobic and misogynistic (and also abusive and violent to his family). I moved away and haven't spoken to him in years.

Tams21
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I agree. Nobody is born a racist and upbringing does influence people but at some point people have to accept responsibility for their views.

Load More Replies...
Loverboy
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hating someone for the color of their skin, sexuality, or gender is pointless and stupid.

Jared Robinson
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm not a racist but..... but you are about to say some racist s**t huh?

Paul Neff
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Any time you use someone's physical appearance as a factor in determining your reaction towards them, is prejudice. At no time is it ever not so. If you look like a kitty cat, I will want to pet you. Just accept it.

Duane Johnston
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have never figured out why you would care what color someone is, who or what they worship, what their job is or what they do in their bedroom as long as children aren't involved.these things have nothing to do with whether the are a good person or not. Just never comes up on my radar.

Matt Harrell
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I truly appreciate people that understand there is a difference between prejudice and racism. I know I have prejudices. I don't think I'm better than anyone because of a fluke of genetics.

Robert Craig
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes, But, ALL racism, not just whites being racist against blacks, But, blacks being racist against whites, plaenstines being racist against Israelis etc.

Stymied Egan
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Dredging up things from the past to support their hate. Clumping each and every person of a specific background into one single group. There are no individuals.

J
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I beg to differ, I believe barbie or neon pink should be a crime 😂. Seriously though, people are just people, why hate others based on any difference they have from you?

Riley Quinn
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If someone presents one of their -isms, I politely explain it's offensive. If they continue, they're dead to me.

a Widda
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Absolutely. You are either respectful of all humans or you aren't respectful of me. Sides. I'm so damned mixed and not straight, if you are racist or gender/desire phobic, you don't like some part of me.

Ambry Petersen
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

While I am against all Racism, I also know that you can't force everybody to like you or approve of what you do. I also do not agree with the ideology that if anyone disagrees with you they must hate you. Simply disagreeing with someone or something does not equate hate. Each side should have the opportunity to calmly and rationally state thier feelings and why they feel they way they do and give the other side the same opportunity. Screaming never works.

Crow Noir
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Except if they hate white people, huh? The double standards are real.

Ogidi Girl
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Where did anyone say that??? Yeah, people who foment trouble need to be on this list too.

Load More Replies...
Crow Noir
Community Member
1 year ago

This comment has been deleted.

Moosashi
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ah Racism/hate. Are you part of this red flag if you hate trump, trump supporters, republicans and white people?

Michael Largey
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

We hate their racism. And we're not wild about people who try tp smear us with false equivalencies, either.

Load More Replies...
FlatEarf2.0
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hating the right, is wrong, hating the left is wrong. Discriminating against Trump supporters (happens here) is wrong. Discriminating against biden supporters (doesn't happen here, just have to put it because it's true) is wrong. Edit: Anyone that is supportive of the war in Ukraine and wants Russia to win, is similar to liking the green popsicle.

The Original Bruno
Community Member
1 year ago (edited)

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Well, duh. but beware of hatred flowing both ways. Like the person above who insisted Trump supporters were all mentally damaged. Now watch everyone try to justify that. If you do... if you believe that people who disagree with you are inherently mentally ill, you're the hater, whichever side you are on. (Studies that show mental illness is much more common among Democrats in America in no way estabablish that you have to be crazy to be a Democrat; I only linked to such an article to disprove his contrasting opinion.)

30_Helens_Agree
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Oh for f***s sake. It’s not about thinking people with different beliefs are “‘mentally ill,” and you know it. It’s people who, years later, still defend and support Trump after the years and years of hateful, disgusting, racist, misogynist rhetoric flying out of his mouth. There IS something wrong with his supporters. They are in a cult and refuse to see reality. Anyone who can still support him after all the things he’s said and done have something seriously wrong with them. Oh and your “study?” Complete nonsense based on nothing. Grow up.

Load More Replies...
Boatswain Bill
Community Member
1 year ago (edited)

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Come on. We're all racist to some extent, even you. Get off your high horse.

bob cameron
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah, but we can try to understand why, address our misguided issues, and then hopefully grow more rational and move on

Load More Replies...
View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#8

People Share The Ultimate Red Flag That Overshadows All The Green Ones, Here Are 30 Of The Most Accurate Ones Littering. Like , blatantly. Throwing trash out of a car window for example. It's my pet peeve. Of course, I'd point it out to them first and see if they stopped doing it but it would still be a huge red flag to me.

Hippycowgirl411 , Karolina Grabowska Report

ADVERTISEMENT

According to Josephs, cognitive biases are driven by motivated perception, as people are highly motivated to believe in the idealized image they’ve created of their partner (due to being tired of being single or lonely, and similar reasons). However, he believes that people do notice red flags despite the primacy effect, the confirmation bias, and motivated perception clouding their judgment.

ADVERTISEMENT

The OP revealed to Bored Panda what is one red flag that negates all the green ones for them: “I consider abuse of trust as the line that cannot be crossed under any circumstances. No matter what other qualities one may possess, once they break my trust, it's nearly impossible to gain it back.”

#9

People Share The Ultimate Red Flag That Overshadows All The Green Ones, Here Are 30 Of The Most Accurate Ones Anti-science.

Less-Mail-6708 , Edward Jenner Report

Add photo comments
POST
Ka Se
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As someone who works close to the scientific field, I would like to say that many seem to misunderstand the concept of science. Scientific knowledge is not fixed, it is what we think is closest to reality based on various sophisticated experiments and observations. Within the scientific community there is constant discussion and sometimes verification (unfortunately this is far too rare as there is neither prestige nor money for it and verification is even more expensive) whether all this is so.

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#10

People Share The Ultimate Red Flag That Overshadows All The Green Ones, Here Are 30 Of The Most Accurate Ones Cruelty. People can hide it pretty well sometimes but when you see it, it’s best to dip.

strawbisundae replied:

Especially animal cruelty. My old art teacher from the third highschool I attended told me (literally old, she was 72) that, how someone treats animals is often how they treat people and you do not want someone like that in your life.

anon , RDNE Stock project Report

Add photo comments
POST
Tams21
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Cruelty, full stop. If they're being cruel to animals, children or vulnerable people, it also makes them a coward but cruelty to anyone and anything would be an immediate deal breaker to me.

View more commentsArrow down menu
#11

People Share The Ultimate Red Flag That Overshadows All The Green Ones, Here Are 30 Of The Most Accurate Ones Absurd possesiveness („you can’t wear that“, „you cant go there“, „you cant talk to that guy“).

stan-twice , Keira Burton Report

Add photo comments
POST
Black Cat
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Anyone who thinks they are entitled to even try to control their partner is a big red flag for me.

View more commentsArrow down menu
ADVERTISEMENT

The OP believes that sharing stories and discussing similar topics can help people dispose of certain negative emotions. “Human beings are social animals. They take no joy in loneliness, and I'm not just talking physically. If someone else shares your uneasy feelings, they dissipate faster. I make these claims from personal observation and experience,” they said.

#12

People Share The Ultimate Red Flag That Overshadows All The Green Ones, Here Are 30 Of The Most Accurate Ones Malicious manipulation of any form.

PsychologicalRing959 , Trinity Kubassek Report

Add photo comments
POST
Alexia
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"You're too sensitive, stop taking it personally, I was only joking"- really?

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#13

People Share The Ultimate Red Flag That Overshadows All The Green Ones, Here Are 30 Of The Most Accurate Ones If they ever start bragging on how "fortunate" you are to be with them and how they have a roster of people they can be with at any moment.

TheJeey , RDNE Stock project Report

#14

People Share The Ultimate Red Flag That Overshadows All The Green Ones, Here Are 30 Of The Most Accurate Ones Victim complex.

kgriff112 replied:

Just ended a friendship I’ve had with someone since kindergarten due to this.

She was always the hero or the victim (ya know, always the martyr), and it was always about her. Sad that it ended after so long but I couldn’t take it anymore, and I hated feeling like a hypocrite, calling myself her friend while growing to resent her more and more each day.

WouldUKindlyDMBoobs , Anete Lusina Report

Add photo comments
POST
Tee Rat
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's for the better and now she'll be the victim of your broken friendship.

View more commentsArrow down menu
ADVERTISEMENT
#15

People Share The Ultimate Red Flag That Overshadows All The Green Ones, Here Are 30 Of The Most Accurate Ones How they treat boundaries. If you set one, someone is either going to test it, or they'll actively try to help you maintain it. And if they're the former, things will only get worse from there in how they treat you.

fieldtripday , Thomas AE Report

#17

People Share The Ultimate Red Flag That Overshadows All The Green Ones, Here Are 30 Of The Most Accurate Ones Extreme outburst of anger.

itzrx , cottonbro studio Report

Add photo comments
POST
Alexia
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Anger issues can be managed with a good therapist. Otherwise, you'd be making your loved ones lives a living hell (and they don't deserve that).

View more commentsArrow down menu
#18

People Share The Ultimate Red Flag That Overshadows All The Green Ones, Here Are 30 Of The Most Accurate Ones Overbearing jealousy.

No_transistory replied:

My ex. She would go through my phone while I slept and remove and block people on my social media she didn't want me talking to. Complimenting someone's hair? Flirting. Smiling while talking? Flirting. Liking a photo? Flirting.

She could not stand me having female friends. The irony being most of her friends were male. She also never had anything nice to say about anyone or anything. Left a few months ago and I miss her, but damn I tried and tried and just couldn't cope anymore.

Ok_Advance6558 , Budgeron Bach Report

Add photo comments
POST
Alexia
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Oooh. I used to spend hours trying to convince my ex that I travelled for business and that was it. "Yeah, sure, who knows what male colleague was with you in your so-called business trip?" How do you prove that you didn't do something? Why would need to prove smth. like that in the first place?

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
ADVERTISEMENT
See Also on Bored Panda
#19

People Share The Ultimate Red Flag That Overshadows All The Green Ones, Here Are 30 Of The Most Accurate Ones Dishonesty.

pretty_monotonous , Timur Weber Report

Add photo comments
POST
Anya Beboop
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

For me, it depends on the degree of it. Certain things would be a deal-breaker but many things can be worked through and you can find the cause.

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#20

People Share The Ultimate Red Flag That Overshadows All The Green Ones, Here Are 30 Of The Most Accurate Ones The older I get, the more there are. I'm not dealing with possessiveness, unkindness towards people or animals, gaslighting or other manipulative dishonesty, rage problems, irresponsible financial habits, excessive bathroom humor... I'm sure there's more. And I'm not in the business of changing people.

If we are talking early/first date stuff, though, I'd say being unkind or stingy with wait staff. Quick and easy pass.

BoraBoringgg , cottonbro studio Report

Add photo comments
POST
Kel_how
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yep, thanks for showing your true colors early so I can get tf out

View more commentsArrow down menu
#21

Misogyny.

comemerrydol Report

#22

Overly sexualizing every interaction with everyone.

No_University3872 Report

#23

Following anyone in the manosphere. Andrew Tate/Jordan Peterson/ Pearl for example.

petielvrrr Report

Add photo comments
POST
Aiw Aiwou
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Never heard of Pearl but agree with the other two. I know many men who find Peterson inspirational or even clever, I don't. He's egoist who twist others' words and rarely replies to a question when it's uncomfortable to him.

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
ADVERTISEMENT
See Also on Bored Panda
#24

People Share The Ultimate Red Flag That Overshadows All The Green Ones, Here Are 30 Of The Most Accurate Ones What they say about people behind their back.

Street_Piece8194 , Rachael Gorjestani Report

Add photo comments
POST
Corvus
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If they often talk about other people behind their backs, then chances are they are doing this with you as well...

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#25

People Share The Ultimate Red Flag That Overshadows All The Green Ones, Here Are 30 Of The Most Accurate Ones Narcissistic behaviour/ manipulation. Doesn’t matter how perfect they are otherwise. Because chances are it’s not actually the real them.

CrackMami , Min An Report

Add photo comments
POST
Em
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If it's their nature to be that way, then it is the real them. Doesn't mean you have to like it.

View more commentsArrow down menu
#26

People Share The Ultimate Red Flag That Overshadows All The Green Ones, Here Are 30 Of The Most Accurate Ones Quite a few. Just being rude to people. You can be nice to people in your life,but rude to strangers and I can't stand it.

LimpAd5888 , Jessie McCall Report

Add photo comments
POST
Michael P (Perthaussieguy)
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Having worked in retail in my 20's & 30's I can quite agree with this. Some customers treat you as a servant.

View more commentsArrow down menu
#27

People Share The Ultimate Red Flag That Overshadows All The Green Ones, Here Are 30 Of The Most Accurate Ones Addiction.

As a recovering alcoholic, that's no way to live.

The_AmyrlinSeat , Vinicius "amnx" Amano Report

Add photo comments
POST
Shyla Bouche
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's too late for me. I read that as abduction. In my defense, I was watching X-Files earlier.

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#28

People Share The Ultimate Red Flag That Overshadows All The Green Ones, Here Are 30 Of The Most Accurate Ones Finding out they want something like kids several months down the road, when in the beginning they swore not wanting any and you're concrete in not wanting any.

Like, I'm not changing my mind so make up yours and stop wasting my time and effort.

pyrnixas , Charles Parker Report

Add photo comments
POST
Mis Stake she/her 🇫🇮🇬🇧
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hate this! I make sure right in the beginning i dont want kids so no one is disappointed later on. If you lied to make me like you or to be with me its your fault thing are going to end or you are going to be childless

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
ADVERTISEMENT
See Also on Bored Panda
#29

Smoking

(Sorry, but kissing a smoker is absolutely gross.)

Early_Scratch_9611 Report

Add photo comments
POST
David Fox
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not a red flag really, people have vices/habits. I quit smoking but I don't judge others for it.

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#30

People Share The Ultimate Red Flag That Overshadows All The Green Ones, Here Are 30 Of The Most Accurate Ones Lack of communication.

lamecatpotato , Gül Işık Report

Add photo comments
POST
iBlank
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Problems with communication is extremely common, and perfectly natural. But, if someone isn't willing to try to overcome those issues, it is time to walk.

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu

Note: this post originally had 63 images. It’s been shortened to the top 30 images based on user votes.