Join the Fun!

There's a lot, but the one I have that isn't here yet is animal cruelty, except if it's towards a cockroach.

achmadr_az , Tillmann Hübner Report

Final score:

393points

POST

Loverboy 1 year ago

Hurting a grown adult is one thing. Hurting something that has no real way of stopping you or defending itself is another. F*****g pieces of s**t

155points

roasttrumpet , Tirachard Kumtanom Report

Only respecting women they’re attracted to.

Final score:

384points

POST

Alexia 1 year ago

And when they're not attracted to that woman anymore, she'd get the same disrespect as the others.

134points

The redditor told Bored Panda that the reason they posed the question was an ended relationship. “I asked it as some surprising revelations came up from a failed relationship I was involved in, and I was curious if I was a unique case,” they said.

Professor of psychology at the Derner School of Psychology of Adelphi University, Lawrence Josephs, PhD., pointed out that sometimes people turn a blind eye to red flags and character flaws while in a relationship, especially in the very beginning. It is related to the phenomena of ‘the primacy effect’, ‘the confirmation bias’, and ‘motivated perception’.

Having different levels of respect for people according to their profession, status, health, finances, popularity, race, etc...

You know the ones that cozy up to their peers while yelling at the waiter that brings their food to the table, mocking a special needs customer on the other table for "fun" and/or talking trash about people with a different skin color behind their backs because how dare they?

I hate those people, and make it a point to avoid them like the plague.

RossaToad , Pixabay Report

Final score:

384points

POST

D. Pitbull 1 year ago

Oh hey, I see OP has met my sibling! Yeeah... don't ever EVER tell me "they're family! Forgive everything!" - no.

81points

People Share The Ultimate Red Flag That Overshadows All The Green Ones, Here Are 30 Of The Most Accurate Ones I have a bunch, but the one that'll get me downvoted to hell? Extremely devout in their religion. Doesn't matter what religion to me - if they're seriously religious, I'm gone.

sonicscrewery , Robert Stokoe Report

Final score:

360points

POST

minnybri 1 year ago

I'm a devout atheist? Does that count?

107points

The primacy effect refers to people presenting the best version of themselves when they first start dating someone, in order to make a good first impression. Dr. Lawrence Josephs suggested that such a positive impression can influence our judgment and the way we perceive the person in the future.

That often leads to confirmation bias, which means people tend to selectively look for evidence that could confirm their first impression. Similarly, they often choose to ignore anything that can challenge the positive impression, including all sorts of red flags.

Never admitting they were wrong, even in the face of evidence. Never apologizing.
No empathy for other’s distress.

LaLizarde , Ryan Hoffman Report

Final score:

359points

POST

Sue Denham 1 year ago

This. And blaming any wrongdoing on someone else. "Someone told me to do it." "If he hadn't done . . . I wouldn't have had to . . .."

66points

Racism/hate.

ihithardest , Clay Banks Report

Final score:

343points

POST

Alexia 1 year ago (edited)

Many use their education/ background as an excuse for their racist views. Nope. At some point in life, you are making your own choices. My father is racist, homophobic, xenophobic and misogynistic (and also abusive and violent to his family). I moved away and haven't spoken to him in years.

102points

Hippycowgirl411 , Karolina Grabowska Report

Littering. Like , blatantly. Throwing trash out of a car window for example. It's my pet peeve. Of course, I'd point it out to them first and see if they stopped doing it but it would still be a huge red flag to me.

Final score:

337points

POST

Bernd Herbert 1 year ago

I can't absolutely not understand how anyone would think that's ok

68points

According to Josephs, cognitive biases are driven by motivated perception, as people are highly motivated to believe in the idealized image they’ve created of their partner (due to being tired of being single or lonely, and similar reasons). However, he believes that people do notice red flags despite the primacy effect, the confirmation bias, and motivated perception clouding their judgment.

The OP revealed to Bored Panda what is one red flag that negates all the green ones for them: “I consider abuse of trust as the line that cannot be crossed under any circumstances. No matter what other qualities one may possess, once they break my trust, it's nearly impossible to gain it back.”

Anti-science.

Less-Mail-6708 , Edward Jenner Report

Final score:

309points

POST

Ka Se 1 year ago

As someone who works close to the scientific field, I would like to say that many seem to misunderstand the concept of science. Scientific knowledge is not fixed, it is what we think is closest to reality based on various sophisticated experiments and observations. Within the scientific community there is constant discussion and sometimes verification (unfortunately this is far too rare as there is neither prestige nor money for it and verification is even more expensive) whether all this is so.

108points

#10

Cruelty. People can hide it pretty well sometimes but when you see it, it’s best to dip.

strawbisundae replied:

Especially animal cruelty. My old art teacher from the third highschool I attended told me (literally old, she was 72) that, how someone treats animals is often how they treat people and you do not want someone like that in your life.

anon , RDNE Stock project Report

Final score:

279points

POST

Tams21 1 year ago

Cruelty, full stop. If they're being cruel to animals, children or vulnerable people, it also makes them a coward but cruelty to anyone and anything would be an immediate deal breaker to me.

82points

#11

Absurd possesiveness („you can’t wear that“, „you cant go there“, „you cant talk to that guy“).

stan-twice , Keira Burton Report

Final score:

251points

POST

Black Cat 1 year ago

Anyone who thinks they are entitled to even try to control their partner is a big red flag for me.

84points

PsychologicalRing959 , Trinity Kubassek Report

The OP believes that sharing stories and discussing similar topics can help people dispose of certain negative emotions. “Human beings are social animals. They take no joy in loneliness, and I'm not just talking physically. If someone else shares your uneasy feelings, they dissipate faster. I make these claims from personal observation and experience,” they said.

#12

Malicious manipulation of any form.

Final score:

230points

POST

Alexia 1 year ago

"You're too sensitive, stop taking it personally, I was only joking"- really?

117points

#13

If they ever start bragging on how "fortunate" you are to be with them and how they have a roster of people they can be with at any moment.

TheJeey , RDNE Stock project Report

Final score:

226points

POST

Tee Rat 1 year ago

That's a quick goodbye.

57points

WouldUKindlyDMBoobs , Anete Lusina Report

#14

Victim complex.

kgriff112 replied:

Just ended a friendship I’ve had with someone since kindergarten due to this.

She was always the hero or the victim (ya know, always the martyr), and it was always about her. Sad that it ended after so long but I couldn’t take it anymore, and I hated feeling like a hypocrite, calling myself her friend while growing to resent her more and more each day.

Final score:

218points

POST

Tee Rat 1 year ago

It's for the better and now she'll be the victim of your broken friendship.

44points

#15

How they treat boundaries. If you set one, someone is either going to test it, or they'll actively try to help you maintain it. And if they're the former, things will only get worse from there in how they treat you.

fieldtripday , Thomas AE Report

Final score:

202points

POST

Loverboy 1 year ago

If they do it once, they will do it again and again.

56points

#16

ABUSE

obrienmk , Karolina Grabowska Report

Final score:

200points

POST

Corvus 1 year ago

Not just a red flag, but a mile-high warning sign.

77points

#17

Extreme outburst of anger.

itzrx , cottonbro studio Report

Final score:

194points

POST

Alexia 1 year ago

Anger issues can be managed with a good therapist. Otherwise, you'd be making your loved ones lives a living hell (and they don't deserve that).

62points

#18

Overbearing jealousy.

No_transistory replied:

My ex. She would go through my phone while I slept and remove and block people on my social media she didn't want me talking to. Complimenting someone's hair? Flirting. Smiling while talking? Flirting. Liking a photo? Flirting.

She could not stand me having female friends. The irony being most of her friends were male. She also never had anything nice to say about anyone or anything. Left a few months ago and I miss her, but damn I tried and tried and just couldn't cope anymore.

Ok_Advance6558 , Budgeron Bach Report

Final score:

182points

POST

Alexia 1 year ago (edited)

Oooh. I used to spend hours trying to convince my ex that I travelled for business and that was it. "Yeah, sure, who knows what male colleague was with you in your so-called business trip?" How do you prove that you didn't do something? Why would need to prove smth. like that in the first place?

59points

#19

Dishonesty.

pretty_monotonous , Timur Weber Report

Final score:

177points

POST

Anya Beboop 1 year ago

For me, it depends on the degree of it. Certain things would be a deal-breaker but many things can be worked through and you can find the cause.

38points

#20

The older I get, the more there are. I'm not dealing with possessiveness, unkindness towards people or animals, gaslighting or other manipulative dishonesty, rage problems, irresponsible financial habits, excessive bathroom humor... I'm sure there's more. And I'm not in the business of changing people.

If we are talking early/first date stuff, though, I'd say being unkind or stingy with wait staff. Quick and easy pass.

BoraBoringgg , cottonbro studio Report

Final score:

161points

POST

Kel_how 1 year ago

Yep, thanks for showing your true colors early so I can get tf out

51points

#21

Misogyny.

comemerrydol Report

Final score:

161points

POST

Black Cat 1 year ago

Hatred towards any group shows someone who is irrational and unbalanced.

60points

#22

Overly sexualizing every interaction with everyone.

No_University3872 Report

Final score:

147points

POST

Black Cat 1 year ago

This is just plain creepy.

46points

#23

Following anyone in the manosphere. Andrew Tate/Jordan Peterson/ Pearl for example.

petielvrrr Report

Final score:

146points

POST

Aiw Aiwou 1 year ago

Never heard of Pearl but agree with the other two. I know many men who find Peterson inspirational or even clever, I don't. He's egoist who twist others' words and rarely replies to a question when it's uncomfortable to him.

51points

Street_Piece8194 , Rachael Gorjestani Report

#24

What they say about people behind their back.

Final score:

138points

POST

Corvus 1 year ago

If they often talk about other people behind their backs, then chances are they are doing this with you as well...

56points

#25

Narcissistic behaviour/ manipulation. Doesn’t matter how perfect they are otherwise. Because chances are it’s not actually the real them.

CrackMami , Min An Report

Final score:

129points

POST

Em 1 year ago

If it's their nature to be that way, then it is the real them. Doesn't mean you have to like it.

25points

#26

Quite a few. Just being rude to people. You can be nice to people in your life,but rude to strangers and I can't stand it.

LimpAd5888 , Jessie McCall Report

Final score:

125points

POST

Michael P (Perthaussieguy) 1 year ago

Having worked in retail in my 20's & 30's I can quite agree with this. Some customers treat you as a servant.

26points

The_AmyrlinSeat , Vinicius "amnx" Amano Report

#27

Addiction.

As a recovering alcoholic, that's no way to live.

Final score:

122points

POST

Shyla Bouche 1 year ago

It's too late for me. I read that as abduction. In my defense, I was watching X-Files earlier.

62points

#28

Finding out they want something like kids several months down the road, when in the beginning they swore not wanting any and you're concrete in not wanting any.

Like, I'm not changing my mind so make up yours and stop wasting my time and effort.

pyrnixas , Charles Parker Report

Final score:

120points

POST

Mis Stake she/her 🇫🇮🇬🇧 1 year ago

Hate this! I make sure right in the beginning i dont want kids so no one is disappointed later on. If you lied to make me like you or to be with me its your fault thing are going to end or you are going to be childless

29points

Early_Scratch_9611 Report

#29

Smoking

(Sorry, but kissing a smoker is absolutely gross.)

Final score:

117points

POST

David Fox 1 year ago

Not a red flag really, people have vices/habits. I quit smoking but I don't judge others for it.

42points

#30

Lack of communication.

lamecatpotato , Gül Işık Report

Final score:

110points

POST

iBlank 1 year ago

Problems with communication is extremely common, and perfectly natural. But, if someone isn't willing to try to overcome those issues, it is time to walk.

32points

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#31

The whole game mentality and trying to find things to be upset about so the other person has to make it up to you. Been with a few women who would try to make me feel guilty over nothing or just simple things like:

Me: Hey, sorry, I have to work tonight since my major project is due tomorrow, can we get together tomorrow for dinner?

Her: Oh, so what, you love your work more than you love me?!

Me: No, I HAVE to work (this is the first reschedule in months). Maybe I can make it up to you tomorrow?

Her: Yea, youll have to I guess...

Me: *feels bed like Im a bad person and a bad partner, when it is a simple 1 day reschedule for a basic date*

Like this s**t was exhausting and constant. Then for weeks after its brought up like it was a huge issue in our relationship and I still "owe" her something.

I was getting a brand new car which was my dream car, and was so excited, that when I spoke about it, my ex said "sounds like you like the car more than me..." and got moody. Like cant you just be happy with me?

garry4321 Report

Final score:

34points

POST

Susan Green 1 year ago

That’s seems immature and selfish.

12points

Flailing_Aimlessly , Etienne Boulanger Report

#32

How they treat people in the service industry/hospitality.
You can be the sweetest most caring woman I’ve ever met in my life that genuinely wants me to be better and is interested in my life and growing together as partners BUT the second they treat someone who may be serving us food or checking us into a hotel or restaurant and treat them like s**t for no reason, then it’s time to take my toast elsewhere.

TOASTED_TONYY Report

Final score:

31points

POST

#33

My first serious girlfriend went on a three year campaign to change everything about me she could.

I started seeing a girl, beautiful, ambitious, came from money, our families had a long but good history together. About six weeks in its getting serious. She's talking about getting her dad to buy her/build her a location she can start a business near where I live and I'm a struggling video producer.

I asked her flat out, "What makes this work for you? You've got these things going for you and I have months I struggle to pay bills."

"You got a few problems but I think I can change you."

Punched out on that relationship a few days later.

Final score:

31points

POST

Tee Rat 1 year ago

I never understood people with this attitude. "I can change them and then they will be perfect." Couples naturally change together for better or worse.

7points

Dutch Swimmer Goes Viral For Super Revealing Trunks During 2024 Olympics: “Is This Legal?”

See Also on Bored Panda

Thrill-Seeking Diver Jumps Down Extreme Waterslide, Ignoring The Strict Ban For Women

#34

Lack of empathy, impatient, selfish, to name a few.

javawong Report

Final score:

30points

POST

Ken_Jane 1 year ago

I had a conversation with a roommate once. We were high and tipsy and talking about how we want to make enough money to help alleviate social ills such as homeless. Next day (not even 24 hours later) we're out getting food and there's this teen boy who she assumed appeared homeless. With a disgusted voice she asked "what is he doing here?" He was buying food. The boy was just buying food. The lease only ends in a couple of months.

5points

#35

"Have you ever considered an open relationship"

Nope, goodbye.

Daketa_34813 Report

Final score:

29points

POST

Diolla 1 year ago

Do not agree with this one. If you're not into that, OK. But it's not a red flag per se, it does not make someone a bad person.

16points

Woman Put A Water Fountain With A Camera In Her Yard, Here Are 24 Photos Of Regular Visitors (New Pics)

See Also on Bored Panda

“Ma’am I Live Here”: Woman Refuses To Back Out Of Driveway, Learns A Lesson The Hard Way

#36

Arrogance.

B1rdPal , 100K MAKHASETTE Report

Final score:

28points

POST

Satan 1 year ago

This is gonna sound bad for me, but the way I learnt that arrogance was bad, was through Anakin Skywalker in Revenge of The Sith.

0points

Dapper_Accountant_21 Report

#37

- Lack of basic hygiene
- Lack of basic skills (how to do laundry, cook simple meals, etc)

Final score:

27points

POST

Black Cat 1 year ago

Nobody wants to date a grubby child.

8points

50 Of The Most Incredible Shots That Were Submitted To The Comedy Wildlife Photography Awards

See Also on Bored Panda

French Diver’s “Jewels” In Tight Swimming Trunks Become Talk Of The Town At Olympics

#38

Being domineering and controlling. Just absolutely f*****g no.

I_DRINK_ANARCHY Report

Final score:

27points

POST

Black Cat 1 year ago

I agree but domineering and controlling behaviour can be so insidious you don't even realise it's gotten really bad until you're having to do silly things like double checking you put the jam on the correct shelf of the fridge.

9points

#39

Disliking dogs (or animals in general).

antisocial_moth2 Report

Final score:

25points

POST

ADJ 1 year ago

As a general principle this is a real good measure. But there are cases in which it may not be so clear. I have a neigbour, otherwise very good and kind person, who does not like dogs because she was attacked and bitten by a dog when she was a child. So before you judge, check for the specific reason.

32points

Woman Moves Out Of Parents' Home After They Asked Her To Give Her Space To Brother, They Freak Out

See Also on Bored Panda

Mom Leaves $250k Inheritance To Son, Throws A Fit When Daughter Stops Looking After Her

#40

Getting upset at every little thing. Like don't get me wrong, I understand some people are a bit sensitive or emotional, but you can't be asking for communication and then get upset at everything I say.

AdventurousWasabi777 Report

Final score:

25points

POST

D. Pitbull 1 year ago

Yeah... don't start demanding things then getting upset when you get the thing but it's not matching what you'd made up in your head.

6points

#41

Over the top solipsism. That "I don't perceive it that way, so it cannot be true" mentality.

chilledkitkat replied:

When I meet someone like that it reminds me of playing peek-a-boo with a baby and exploiting their lack of object permanence.

UnoriginalUse , Ketut Subiyanto Report

Final score:

24points

POST

D. Pitbull 1 year ago

I don't perceive it that way so it can't be true... oh my GAWD the number of people who are like this... is depressingly surprising. I know more than once someone has said something like this and I had to pause for a moment ... because I honestly thought they were kidding - as in "You've lived to adult age... you ARE joking, right? You canNOT be this stupid and... oh my gawd you are."

8points

Woman Refuses To Chip In For Babysitting Because She Doesn’t Even Have Kids, Asks If She’s A Jerk

See Also on Bored Panda

“This Breaks My Heart”: People Stunned—And Angry—After Woman Buys Lost Luggage From Airport

#42

Not lack of knowledge but lack of open-mindedness to new ideas and cultures. Lots of people who work against generational teachings of subliminal prejudice do a lot of work but cut ethical corners. It's not about being good or bad, being right or wrong, or holding an opinion. But just generally being humble enough to approach something without assuming or having a stance before a full mental image is formed.

Revolutionary_Ball24 Report

Final score:

23points

POST

Kel_how 1 year ago

Went on a first date to an Indian restaurant and the guy had never eaten India. I really appreciated that he was open to the experience and asked questions to understand. We didn't date long-term but he was a good guy.

4points

See Also on Bored Panda

"I Didn't Start The Dryer": Karen Gets Taught A Lesson After Throwing Out Neighbor's Wet Clothes

Guy Divorced 3 Years Ago Drops Off 3 Y.O. With His Ex-Wife Completely Out Of The Blue

#43

If they take more than 7 selfies a day... it's oddly specific in a number of ways but I find it says a lot about one's character.

ButterflyOverkill Report

Final score:

21points

POST

Tucker Cahooter 1 year ago

Unless you are taking a selfie of yourself standing next to the King of England I can't see the point. I don't need my ugly mug inserted into a snapshot of a tourist attraction as somehow giving credence to me being there

16points

College Student Does Exactly As Told After Roommates Demand They Keep Their Stuff In Their Room

#44

Malice.

If they lie, it's usually because of trauma and trust issues. They fear the consequences of being honest. I can work with that.

If they cheat, again they don't feel like they can trust me to talk about desires and kinks.

I negate both of these by making sure we can say anything and we can talk about anything. A fling it's one thing. People have their own goals and desires, so long as we both have the same freedoms and understandings, we're good.

Malice however it's different. Their goal is to cause misery to others, manipulate others for their own gain or even just ruin the lives of others. When someone is malicious, you're not a person to them but just a thing to use. There's no value of growth or partnership.

There are people who seem to be straight up wicked beings that want nothing more than to harm others for one reason or another. You can't trust that. You can't work with people like that. They'll use you then blame you for trusting them.

bluelifesacrifice Report

Final score:

21points

POST

See Also on Bored Panda

Internet Gives Unemployed Woman A Reality Check After She Expects Friends To Buy Her A Trip

#45

Hoarding. I just can’t handle the whole illness on a day to day. I’m not strong enough. It’s a huge red flag and hard pass.

culady Report

Final score:

21points

POST

Kel_how 1 year ago

It becomes a health and safety hazard. I can't count the number of times I helped my mom clean out my grandmother's house for it to be 10x worse months later.

2points

Away_Proposal2615 , Juan Pablo Serrano Arenas Report

#46

Doesn’t see his kid.

Final score:

19points

POST

Tams21 1 year ago

If it's out of choice then absolutely. If it's because of a bitter custody battle then it might be worth listening to the whole story.

11points

#47

How they handle conflict and disagreement.

themightymoron , Timur Weber Report

Final score:

19points

POST

Black Cat 1 year ago

Yes like when they start belittling you if you don't agree with them or try to shut you down if they don't agree with you without even considering an alternate point of view.

4points

Correct_Curve_2732 Report

#48

When they simply can't speak to you in a respectful way. And I'm not talking about RESPECT I'm talking about they just say hateful, impatient, rude stuff to you seemingly because they think that's what you deserve.

jdrewc Report

Final score:

18points

POST

#49

Nowadays for me the lack of a stable job or other clear way to support themselves.

A student in college living off loans is fine if they have a clear career path thought out. Somebody on their third job this year because every shift lead they’ve had was supposedly a b***h has some stuff to work out before they should be dating.

Final score:

18points

POST

#50

1) Being strongly conservative. It sucks, because goddamn do I love cowboys, but every time I've tried it our values are just too opposing and it ends with them mocking my thoughts/beliefs.

2) Becoming too attached/committed too quickly. Learned that the hard way - it isn't sincere overwhelming love, it's a manipulation tactic. Last ex remodeled a wing in his house just for me to use after 6 weeks of dating, and I seriously felt like I was Belle in Beauty and the Beast. It...didn't turn out well.

3) Focusing too much on my finances. I have a graduate degree and a financially comfortable job, which I'm proud of. I still had guys that wanted me to "prove" I wasn't a gold digger by making me pay for everything I wanted, even if it was to benefit us mutually. Vacations, home repairs, holiday gifts for both our families, cars, whatever. Turns out I was the diggee, not the digger. I agree with sharing expenses, but when my ex wanted to skip a wedding and have my dad "cut him a check" for the wedding fund my parents saved for me, I knew I was played.

Ephemeryi Report

Final score:

18points

POST

Elio 1 year ago

It seems that guys paranoid about gold diggers are paranoid because they want to be the gold digger.

5points

#51

Any personality switch - sign of love bombing.

Deep-Essay-4829 Report

Final score:

18points

POST

Babsevs 1 year ago

Obvious narcissistic tactic....

2points

#52

Snobby to everyone but you.

Good-Management-4241 Report

Final score:

18points

POST

#53

When my ex gf would talk about her ex as if she wished things would have worked out.

georgeberg Report

Final score:

18points

POST

Rahul Pawa 1 year ago

Omg I missed that one early on, then guess who she went to when things got difficult. Made me realize I was never the guy she wanted. I was the guy she settled for.

2points

#54

When they answer most questions with a political statement.

wetjen Report

Final score:

17points

POST

#55

Any previous infidelity. Once a cheater there is a large potential for them to repeat it.

Also, being unwilling to spend money on me from time to time (covering dates or whatever). Gold diggers are a huge red flag.

xBoarder1983 Report

Final score:

16points

POST

Ken_Jane 1 year ago

There's a difference between a serial cheater and a s****y decision

12points

Ross “Sarcastic Dad” 1 year ago

Fair point. If someone cheated when they were 18 and now you're dating them in their 30s, it could have been they learned from the situation. If they cheated on their (now) ex-wife 2 years ago? Yeah, they're going to cheat again.

1point

Robert Craig 1 year ago

No there isn't

0points

Rahul Pawa 1 year ago

Without help, they're likely to do it again.

0points

Sean 1 year ago

s****y decision? thats taking it very lightly in my opinion

-1point

Tim 1 year ago

I've often wondered about these kinds of comments. Do they sincerely believe that someone who has cheated once no longer deserves a relationship?

4points

SadieCat17 1 year ago

No one "deserves" a relationship. I'm not saying that past cheaters should be permanently shunned, but it's their responsibility to deal with the consequences of their actions and their responsibility to improve themselves.

3points

Yeeters 1 year ago

If they cheated with you, they will cheat on you too.

1point

AffectionateAd2942 , RDNE Stock project Report

#56

cheating

disrespect towards me

disrespect towards others

disloyalty

Final score:

14points

POST

Spencer's slave 1 year ago

Emotional cheating is still cheating too.

1point

#57

Degradation. I don't care if it's in your nature to be the kind of comedian that always puts me at the butt of jokes or if you think it's sexy to emasculate me in bed, that is just a gateway to being a real d******d to me because I'm letting you get away with so much and there is no going back once I've let you have a few.

I've had friends like this as well, had is the keyword.

xXDravencrazeXx Report

Final score:

14points

POST

SadieCat17 1 year ago

"d i c k h e a d" if you were wondering

2points

#58

Using ultimatums to get their way.

"You have to choose between ____ and me"

"If you don't like me doing ____ then maybe this relationship isn't working"

"I don't like it when you ____, stop it or I'll dump you"

It doesn't matter what the blanks are, it doesn't even matter if she's 100% right with her ultimatums, this type of behavior is an immediate no-go.

Z0V4 Report

Final score:

13points

POST

April W 1 year ago

If she’s 100% right then those are her boundaries and her red flags

11points

#59

Refusal to talk about certain aspects of their past. If your partner can't be open to you about their life, including their relationship with their parents, their siblings or other family members, or the fact that they may have been in jail/prison in the past, been an addict or alcoholic - walk away. Your partner needs to be open to discussion about things in their past that could affect your life with them.

Just_another_Sue Report

Final score:

13points

POST

Marie R. 1 year ago

Imma say I don't agree completely - I suffer from severe PTSD and am open about the general "What happened" - but everything else is too painful for me to talk about, that's something I only speak out about in therapy. Some things are okay to keep to yourself, as long as it doesn't affect the partnership and honest communication

16points

Lord_Syndicate_Chaos Report

#60

Astrology.

Final score:

13points

POST

Tucker Cahooter 1 year ago

I think astrology is a load of bunkum, and I'm sure my fellow Capricorns would agree with me

25points

#61

Lots of exes and all of them being irredeemable people, never any mutual break ups or "I just didn't really feel compatible with them."

Anti-TankRanga Report

Final score:

12points

POST

#62

Poor money management skills. Like having an income that can support a domestic driving vacation once a year, but then throwing down 4 months rent on an international vacation and putting it on credit cards?

I went on a date with a chick, and she was telling me about her 3 week vacation to SE Asia. The flight alone would have been a months rent, let alone all the other costs. Then she drops "I had to max two credit cards, but it was worth it!"

I would have stiffed her with the bill after that. Instead I went to the bathroom a short while later, paid my half of the bill, tipped generously, and left.

I am not a sugar daddy, I do not want to be a sugar daddy, and money is probably like the 3rd or 4th most important thing to a functioning happy household.

Key-round-tile Report

Final score:

8points

POST

Jill Rhodry 1 year ago

No mention there that she has any expectation at all for him to pay off her credit card. Fine it's not something he would do - me neither - but to her it was worth it. Different values can cause issues to work through but I don't personally see this as a red flag if it's being paid off - or if she's smart transferring the balance to a new card at 0% interest.

6points

GoatInternational174 Report

#63

Credit Card Debt.

Final score:

8points

POST

Deborah B 1 year ago

Depends on the debt, and how they're managing it. Credit cards are great for emergencies. If they had an emergency - vet bill, emergency plumber, etc, and paid with a credit card, and are slowly paying it off, that's completely different to constantly increasing debt due to a shopping addiction.

9points

A writer here at Bored Panda, I am a lover of good music, good food, and good company, which makes food-related topics and feel-good stories my favorite ones to cover. Passionate about traveling and concerts, I constantly seek occasions to visit places yet personally unexplored. I also enjoy spending free time outdoors, trying out different sports—even if I don’t look too graceful at it—or socializing over a cup of coffee.

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What do you think ?

POST

Diolla 1 year ago

Am missing a major one here. When all their exes are creeps/ idiots/ liars/ whores/ selfish/ etc.. It's never THEIR fault the relationship ended.

32points

Zane Lumagrowl 1 year ago

I like the saying, if you smell dog s**t everywhere you go, then maybe check the bottom of your shoes!

18points

Indigojinn 1 year ago

Essentially anyone who's a d**k. Don't be a d**k. Simple.

11points

Madster 1 year ago

Racist/bigoted/homophobic/egotistical. Byeeeeee

10points

Sue Lynn Chan 1 year ago

One question for me: Is listening a crime documentary or horror story a red flag as well? I’ve been a big fan of those, yet I’m worried If give off a bad vibe.

5points

D. Pitbull 1 year ago

What? Omg... Forensic Files is one of my favourite shows. Nah, liking to listen to those/watch those things isn't a red flag... talking (seriously) about how you're taking NOTES and practicing body disposal (and that's not your profession) ... yeah, maybe you don't wanna do that...

5points

Elio 1 year ago

I don't think so. A lot of people like horror stories and it's crazy how much my grandma and her friends knew about real life crime from watching shows about it.

3points

Annika Kremer 1 year ago

Not in my book. You're not hurting anyone and quite a few people are fascinated by this kind of content.

2points

Monique Rosewood 1 year ago

I don't think that's a red flag. That's more like a hobby instead of a behavior. I mean, if you told them "I'm taking notes", maybe lol. But otherwise it just seems like enjoying it, like enjoying reading.

1point

BeepBoop is Lonely (she/they) 1 year ago

hm I don't think so. I would personally love to watch them with someone else who loved them! As long as you're not like obsessing over then I think it's alr

0points

Tams21 1 year ago

I don't think so, that kind of stuff is quite popular. As long as you're not sitting there taking notes on how to dispose a body or something...

0points

Amanda 1 year ago

Anyone who has spent their adult life going from relationship to relationship without spending any real time being single

5points

Cori 1 year ago

I was guilty of this until I spent 5 years single/ celibate after my divorce. There was no time to date. Right or wrong, I was just disgusted with men in general. It was more important that I focus on my kids. There were just so many reasons. It turned out to be SO good for me though. Now, if I'm with someone, it's a want to rather than a need to. It might sound like semantics, but it really is so different.

2points

Randy Sanders 1 year ago

When observing red flags, be sure to count the ones attached to you.

3points

Panda Boi 1 year ago

Anti-vaxxer.

2points

Slick Rick 1 year ago

Believing there are more than 2 genders

0points

Iridian 1 year ago (edited)

These are all good examples of red flags, but really, it seems like people didn't quite understand the question, because these are not the kind of red flags that would just pop up all by themselves. These examples are more like "cluster red flags" rather than a decent person who has given you tons of green lights but who might give you just the one red one (like the question). For instance (and take any one of the examples), if someone is cruel to animals, they are most likely NOT going to be giving many green signs at all and will be more likely to give multiple other red flags listed here.

1point

Caitlyn Ewing 1 year ago

I agree. No one seemed to mention anything about someone being a one-upper. That's easy to sniff out just by the first conversation.

0points

Nikki Sevven 1 year ago

A few that I'd add... Doesn't respect your boundaries. Thinks "I'm sorry you feel that way" is a valid apology and/or continues the same behavior for which they've apologized. Hates being alone (they likely lack the level of self-reflection required for self-improvement). Tells you your interests are stupid or a waste of time. Can't communicate issues like a grown a*s adult, but instigates drama instead (screaming arguments, the silent treatment, passive-aggressive behavior).

1point

Laura Kaye 1 year ago

Heeeey my ex!!

0points

Jared Robinson 1 year ago

Red flags everywhere.

1point

CC Boom 1 year ago

I must have been color blind for ten years because so many of these describe my ex it's honestly scary.

1point

James S 1 year ago

Throw litter on the ground

1point

Super Beast 5 months ago

People-pleasers. They won't stand by you when push comes to shove.

0points

Brandon Parisien 1 year ago

There's a certain (sci-fi) celebrity of mixed race. She'd post BLM memes (which is fine) plus memes that were a tad anti-white. If a person of colour called her on it she'd never respond; if you were white and did it she'd call you racist. I used to like her until she blew up at me ranting how it was OK to hate white people because her mom didn't teach her native language; the mom married a white guy and lived in an English speaking area. I feel sorry for her white husband :p

0points

Nathan Temple 1 year ago

The name of this article is people share "Their Ultimate Red Flag" and yet no one person said previous convictions for sexual predation. Weird.

0points

Limey 1 year ago

In line with never admits when they're wrong--people who have to be the smartest person in the room and are unwilling to admit to something as simple as, "I don't know". Even to the extent they bluster through a lie.

0points

Ray Arani 1 year ago (edited)

When all their prior relationships ended for the same reason. My ex wouldn't talk s**t about her exes, was respectful and even spoke fondly of them, so I figured she wasn't one of those and he relationships just didn't work out for life reasons. Then once we were dating she admitted every single relationship had gone sour because in her words, if she spoke up about her feelings or needs they'd get mad and break up with her instead of being willing to work on things. I was like, well that's a coincidence but maybe she attracted a type. Then .... Whenever she had a problem, if it has anything to do with us or not, she'd got totally silent. So I figured it was a reaction to those bad relationships. It was probably actually a leftover from her childhood, which is sad, but what she ended up doing despite me going out of my way to provide her with a safe space to talk, was refusing to communicate for weeks or months at a time, then blew up screaming at me at 3am while I was fighting a migraine and saying really extreme stuff that she later tried to roll back as being overstated in the heat of the moment. Some of it was about my kid, who is well adjusted and well behaved and on target for his age socially, but she tried to make him out to be some sort of psycho monster for not knowing things, or asking questions, or here's the kicker, greeting her whenever she'd walk into a room he was in. Like, none of what she was saying even made sense. And I'm sitting there like, well if this is how you "voice your needs and boundaries" in relationships no wonder you keep getting dumped!! Then I realized that the whole "all my relationships end for the same reason" thing was a huge red flag. I've dated a lot of people, and all my relationships ended for unique reasons, mostly incompatibly of life goals or something like that, and I stayed friends with nearly all my exes like a good lesbian. Some of them even offered to be dating references for me. That's what I want in my next partner, someone who's ex still thinks their great enough to recommend to others.

0points

Slick Rick 1 year ago

Strange how every single red flag points to democrats

0points

Jp@nda 1 year ago

Ohh you're a troll

0points

Ducklord88 1 year ago

Oh ok

0points

Ley Mason 1 year ago

Where was this list 5 years ago

0points

Leo Domitrix 1 year ago

If you get as far as meeting their relatives... Yeah, they'll be like the family. You might not know how, but you'll find out if you stick around.

0points

Laura Kaye 1 year ago

I (hope) this isn't entirely true.... If I am like my mom or dad, then I am going to end up being a racist bigoted angry piece of trash like my dad or someone who talks and talks but never ACTUALLY listens to anyone like my mom. My dad and mom both treat animals like they are furniture and neglects them by not interacting with them. My dad doesn't show affection at all and is emotionally abusive. My mom shows emotion and is loving but will gaslight you into doing things her way. I do not want to be my parents. I want to be myself - I spoil my animals, I show affection, I TRULY try to listen to my partner's problems and communicate when things need to change. I am unfortunately quite susceptible to abuse and being taken advantage of because I try to be more generous and caring than my parents...

0points

Sir Panda 1 year ago

Well im screwed. I have all 30. Winner winner chicken dinner.

-2points

POST

Diolla 1 year ago

Am missing a major one here. When all their exes are creeps/ idiots/ liars/ whores/ selfish/ etc.. It's never THEIR fault the relationship ended.

32points

Zane Lumagrowl 1 year ago

I like the saying, if you smell dog s**t everywhere you go, then maybe check the bottom of your shoes!

18points

Indigojinn 1 year ago

Essentially anyone who's a d**k. Don't be a d**k. Simple.

11points

Madster 1 year ago

Racist/bigoted/homophobic/egotistical. Byeeeeee

10points

Sue Lynn Chan 1 year ago

One question for me: Is listening a crime documentary or horror story a red flag as well? I’ve been a big fan of those, yet I’m worried If give off a bad vibe.

5points

D. Pitbull 1 year ago

5points

Elio 1 year ago

I don't think so. A lot of people like horror stories and it's crazy how much my grandma and her friends knew about real life crime from watching shows about it.

3points

Annika Kremer 1 year ago

Not in my book. You're not hurting anyone and quite a few people are fascinated by this kind of content.

2points

Monique Rosewood 1 year ago

1point

BeepBoop is Lonely (she/they) 1 year ago

hm I don't think so. I would personally love to watch them with someone else who loved them! As long as you're not like obsessing over then I think it's alr

0points

Tams21 1 year ago

I don't think so, that kind of stuff is quite popular. As long as you're not sitting there taking notes on how to dispose a body or something...

0points

Amanda 1 year ago

Anyone who has spent their adult life going from relationship to relationship without spending any real time being single

5points

Cori 1 year ago

2points

Randy Sanders 1 year ago

When observing red flags, be sure to count the ones attached to you.

3points

Panda Boi 1 year ago

Anti-vaxxer.

2points

Slick Rick 1 year ago

Believing there are more than 2 genders

0points

Iridian 1 year ago (edited)

1point

Caitlyn Ewing 1 year ago

I agree. No one seemed to mention anything about someone being a one-upper. That's easy to sniff out just by the first conversation.

0points

Nikki Sevven 1 year ago

1point

Laura Kaye 1 year ago

Heeeey my ex!!

0points

Jared Robinson 1 year ago

Red flags everywhere.

1point

CC Boom 1 year ago

I must have been color blind for ten years because so many of these describe my ex it's honestly scary.

1point

James S 1 year ago

Throw litter on the ground

1point

Super Beast 5 months ago

People-pleasers. They won't stand by you when push comes to shove.

0points

Brandon Parisien 1 year ago

0points

Nathan Temple 1 year ago

The name of this article is people share "Their Ultimate Red Flag" and yet no one person said previous convictions for sexual predation. Weird.

0points

Limey 1 year ago

0points

Ray Arani 1 year ago (edited)

0points

Slick Rick 1 year ago

Strange how every single red flag points to democrats

0points

Jp@nda 1 year ago

Ohh you're a troll

0points

Ducklord88 1 year ago

Oh ok

0points

Ley Mason 1 year ago

Where was this list 5 years ago

0points

Leo Domitrix 1 year ago

If you get as far as meeting their relatives... Yeah, they'll be like the family. You might not know how, but you'll find out if you stick around.

0points

Laura Kaye 1 year ago

0points