I tried to break up with her four times over two years, but she kept talking me out of it. I finally realized the relationship was toxic when after a big fight she suggested counseling. I thought she meant couples counseling, but it was just for me because she figured all the problems with our relationship must be my fault. The real kicker? The therapist couldn't find anything "wrong" with me, but instead of suggesting my unhappiness may be due to being in a s****y relationship she decided I "might" have a chemical imbalance and prescribed antidepressants. Long story short, I finally left her and immediately stopped taking those useless pills. I've been perfectly fine ever since and happily married to my soulmate for twenty years.

When my mother introduced me and my sister to her new boyfriend, I knew there was something off about him. He'd look me in the eye, but he acted like he was forcing himself to smile. Like he was actually sizing me up. I tried to tell my mother, but she ignored me. Months later, I found out he was beating the c**p out of her on the regular. When we went to move my mother out of his apartment, he had come home and grabbed a knife to threaten her not to leave. He was met by my brother who said "While you're standing there with that knife, ask yourself what happened to the gun you had hidden under your pillow. I suggest you leave or you'll be wishing the cops were here in a minute." He left, we moved her out, she actually tried to go back to him. We laid down a "it's him or us" ultimatum. She finally left him for good.

I should have known the relationship was toxic when I became the worst version of myself.

It's hard. My last girlfriend got kicked out of the house she was living in by her room mates (red flag), moved in with me (didn't ask just did it), and then threatened to lie to all my friends and say I abused her. It took another year to extract myself from that relationship. Pretty sure I was dealing with a combination of BPD, Grave's disease and alcoholism with her.

Red flags you shouldn't ignore, I wrote "he" but this could be applied to both genders: - criticism - he wants to "repair" you, make you a better person, whether physically or mentally. - he abuses your trust - I trusted someone with some deeply personal inner issues I have only for that to be used as argument in a fight against me. - he lies on first date, or first dates - you will never be able to trust him, ever! - he tells you he is bad news, he will never commit, you don't have a future together etc - no matter how nice he treats you, he will NEVER change his mind. He warned you! He took all the guilt from himself. He warned you AND he was nice to you. He will tell you it's your fault you didn't listen or believe him. - he is just out of serious relationship - she mentions his ex at least twice. Be aware, you might be rebound. - this never happened to me, but for everyone general rule - physical violence! Never ever is justified. NEVER! Whatever you do. Leave. Immediatelly, and don't look back

My idiot now gets mad at the girls he hears getting abused "being too stupid to leave and must like it" this coming from someone who knows I was beaten for 2 years. Same guy who takes it as I'm mad at him when I'm mad at my phone not working. Same guy that gets mad and yells at me for being upset with nothing to do with him. I secretly talk to the only friend I have behind his back because it's a guy. I constantly hear him mutter s**t to insult me under his breath then calls me skitzo for hearing s**t. He is about as abusive as my beater but he thinks hes "a nice guy" anyone has to say there nice probably isn't. If they were they wouldn't need to say it because actions speak louder than words.

My ex didn't want to see me if I wasn't wearing makeup. When I showed up with only a bit of concealer on or something he'd get mad.

When I was afraid to bring up a potential issue because it meant something else in my house would be broken (TV, window, doors, holes in the wall, phone, etc) because "it had to be Xobject so that it wasnt me".

When he said he felt like he might be a sex addict. When he suggested an open relationship. When he said he cheated bc I wasn't putting out (I had our son just 3 months prior) When the first thing he asked after our child was born was how soon I could have sex. When he would hide his phone/change his password. When he would get angry when I would express how things made me feel. unfortunately, the list goes on.