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"I Saw How Exhausted Parents Look": 67 People Share The Real Reasons They Don't Want To Have Kids
Whether people can’t wait to hold a bundle of joy in their arms or can’t imagine themselves as parents, they all have their reasons for feeling the way that they do. But the former group arguably doesn’t have to answer as many questions about their decision as child-free people do.
Many people who belong to the latter category would likely attest that their stance on the issue is often met with a “why?”, to which they can tell you that the reasons are ample (the most common ones being simply not wanting to, wanting to focus on other things, or being concerned about the state of the world).
Such reasons were recently discussed by members of the ‘Ask Reddit’ community after one netizen asked them why they didn’t want to have children. Quite a few people opened up, so if you want to see what deters them from having kids, you can find their answers on the list below; and if you’re child-free yourself, feel free to share your two cents on the topic in the comments section.
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#3
The questions should be: people who want children, what are your biggest reasons.
brittany 1 week ago
i had them bc i wanted them. i wanted to birth them, raise them, nurture them and see them grow up and lead their own lives. and choosing to have kids.... is 100 percent one of the most selfish things a person could ever do and i freely admit it was incredibly selfish of me to have them. if i could do it over again i wouldnt have them. not because i dont love them, but because i do not love that i put them on this messed up planet. the world is cruel and they deserved better. it is NOT for everyone nor should it be. i applaud every single child free person.
#5
To quote a comment I’ve read somewhere “I’d rather regret not having kids than regret having them”.
detective miller's hat 1 week ago
Exactly this. I was a nanny from high school until a few years after college. The kids were all pretty well behaved and generally pleasant, but I remember at one point about a year after college, I was at work one day and it just occurred to me: "I fuċking HATE this." After that realisation, I decided I would never have kids. Sure it might have been different if they were mine, but no way was I taking that chance.
#6
The sound of a baby crying makes me want to jump out a window.
#7
*gestures around wildly*.
Chocolate llama 1 week ago
This! I wouldn't even mind having children, but have you seen the state of the world we're living in??
#10
We don’t need reasons. Want is a subjective word. Any reason for not wanting kids a person has is valid.
#11
Our family has a genetic disease, I don't want my child to suffer the same way as I am.
#12
They are just really annoying honestly.
Kristen Woehlke 1 week ago
My aunt asked when she was pregnant "can I ask you in all seriousness to move in with your uncle and me to help with the baby?" Gave her the nastiest look I could conjure and asked "what kind of f*****g d***s are you on b***h?!? A - I really don't like you, B - I despise kids and C - I was still in high school! You made it, you take care of it! I.Want.No.Part!
#13
Everything. There’s literally nothing appealing about having children. If someone says they don’t want kids accept and move on.
#14
Because I saw how exhausted parents look.
#15
I love my free time more than anything. I can do anything I want at any time when I'm not working. I read, make videos about table top games, play video games, hang out with my wife and dogs, hang out with friends.
#16
The screams, the horrible screams….
Undercover 1 week ago
Once my biological clock was ticking pretty loud (we don't have kids because of fertility issues and I'm pretty much insane) so I went to a zoo on a Sunday afternoon. It killed the baby dream pretty immediately 😁😁😁
#17
Not having kids is the default. I have no desire to have kids as I see no reason, therefor I default to not having.
I feel a more interesting question would be to ask people who have kids why they do. There's a weird double standard though. It's acceptable for people to ask me "why not?" when they find out I don't have kids, but sort of taboo to ask them "why?" when finding out that they have kids.
#18
I like having a peaceful life, get to save my money, time, and energy. Having a kid just sounds like a nightmare, every young parent I know is miserable af.
#19
I've never understood the appeal of children. I don't think they're fun, or cute, or funny, or interesting at all. Maybe I'm missing a chromosome or something. If I see someone with a baby, I walk by without a second look. Now if someone has a puppy or a kitten, I lose my f*****g mind. I guess I'm just more suited to be a pet parent. We're in our mid-late 40's and have never regretted not having kids.
Kristen Woehlke 1 week ago
I've seen people go absolutely gaga over a kid. I don't think they are cute or sweet or precious. They are annoying and they stink! Doesn't matter if you've cleaned them up or not. They make me gag.
#20
Children suck… while it’s not their fault at all, they’re a chronic k**l joy, wildly expensive, often remove parents from their identity, namely primary caregivers (mothers). Having one so I’ll be taken care of when I’m old is not a compelling enough argument. Everyone talks about why people don’t want children, what about why they do? Children are the epitome of indulgence and often poorly timed and planned.
#21
I don’t want a hard life. Pregnancy terrifies me, kids are expensive, and I don’t know if I have the patience to be a good parent and also have a fulfilling life of my own. I like the freedom of being able to do what I want without having to consider children. And I don’t want to bring kids into this world, I wouldn’t know what kind of life they could even have if I did.
#22
I am not financially secure enough to give my child a good life.
#23
In this economy?!
R.A. Haley 1 week ago (edited)
Again, that's been an excuse for millennia. The trouble is, it's always true.
#24
The world is just becoming a worse and worse place.
Pollution, global warming, fighting, increasing hate, intolerance.
I grew up in the 80s and 90s which was a great era and there is no way I could ever provide kids the same happiness, joy and bright future that I had.
SirWriteALot 1 week ago
Chernobyl, AIDS, acid rain, ozone layer, Apartheid ... your childhood was a great era because you were a CHILD.
#25
Because they're gross, annoying, get you sick from a single day at school, cost too much money, are a hindrance on freedom in your life, plus seeing people these days with mini a******s they let do whatever is a deterrent enough. Honestly people with kids should just keep them at home more. No one wants to hear your screaming child. It's obnoxious.
Sarah 1 week ago
My experience from endless nights out with female friends who were miserable being single. They genuinely believed getting a husband and child would make them happy. It’s not someone else’s job to make you happy. And don’t put that onus on someone. I worked with a lady (RIP) she adopted daughter from Romanian orphanage. At the time Johnny Depp had baby and said his life now had meaning. Annette said what a terrible thing to say.. ur life should have meaning with or without kids. And if it’s meaningless amd it pinning hopes on kids making u happy then don’t have kids
#26
I value my space and freedom.
I like being independent.
The world is going to s**t.
Pregnancy and giving birth is terrifying.
And my anxiety would make me a bad mom, I would probably f**k up the kids.
#27
It’s a trap. When I watch people with children, my friends, but also my mother, I see not one single thing enticing enough to make me want to have them. All I see is misery and prison.
#28
Children are a burden. They cost money, they cost time, and they are unpredictable. They might steal from you, get the police interested in you, throw a party in your house, break everything you’ve worked so hard for. They might m****r you in your sleep or burn down your house.
You have to feed them, clothe them, keep them alive and they are little psychos.
If you want to throw away any semblance of peace and quiet, have children. If you want little failures who might refuse to work and support themselves and borrow money from you, have children.
If you want insanity for your entire life, have children.
#30
Children are awful, loud, always sticky, expensive, annoying and every person i have ever met with children seems tired and miserable 100% of the time.
I think the better question is why would anyone want children.
Poll Question
How do you feel about child-free people being questioned more about their decision?
It's unfair
It's understandable
People are just curious
No opinion
What do you think ?
Surly Scot 1 week ago (edited)
People telling me I should have kids is like telling me the animal shelters are full but I should still start a puppy farm at my house.
Jason Melvil 1 week ago
I hate these lists and agree with the above - you need to explain the choices you make, not the ones you don't. Being a parent is not the default.
Dirk Daring 1 week ago
Many years ago, I was at a family gathering. Both of my sisters had recently had babies. One of my cousins (female, roughly same age as me) calls me out from across the room, "Hey [my name] when are you going to start having kids?". I set my beer down just long enough to reply back, "Depends, what are you doing later?" My older sister laughed, everybody else recoiled, and that put an end to THAT fncking question.
Surly Scot 1 week ago (edited)
People telling me I should have kids is like telling me the animal shelters are full but I should still start a puppy farm at my house.
Jason Melvil 1 week ago
I hate these lists and agree with the above - you need to explain the choices you make, not the ones you don't. Being a parent is not the default.
Dirk Daring 1 week ago
Many years ago, I was at a family gathering. Both of my sisters had recently had babies. One of my cousins (female, roughly same age as me) calls me out from across the room, "Hey [my name] when are you going to start having kids?". I set my beer down just long enough to reply back, "Depends, what are you doing later?" My older sister laughed, everybody else recoiled, and that put an end to THAT fncking question.
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