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“Haven’t Talked For 3 Years”: 30 Times People Went From Best Friends To Strangers
Interview With Author
You’ve got a friend in me, you’ve got a friend in me! There are few things in life stronger than the bond of two best friends. Knowing that someone has your back no matter what and will always be there to make you smile, even on your very worst days, is a wonderful feeling.
But unfortunately, when one of your friendships is put to the test, you might be faced with the harsh realization that your BFF doesn't value your relationship as much as you do. Reddit users have recently been opening up about how their former best friends turned into strangers, so we’ve gathered some of their most painful stories below. If you can relate to these tales, know that you’re not alone, pandas. And remember that you deserve to have companions who will stick with you until the end!
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
He cheated on his fiancé. I told her what was going on. He never figured out how she found out. I cut him off. I figured if he can f**k over his fiancé, someone he’s supposed to love, what is keeping him from doing the same to me.
Sarah B 12 months ago
If they're really your best friend, you don't just betray them like that. You hold them accountable and make THEM be honest with their partner. Relationships will still end, but it will be much healthier for everyone.
RELATED:
#2
He committed a crime, pinned it on me, and I went to prison for it. It took some time to prove it was him, and I was immediately released and he is in prison now.
We were best friends for 13 years, so huge trust issues followed.
Glen Ellyn 12 months ago
Who the heck does that? Betrayal is definitely a "friendship breaker." Well, with him in prison now he's well out of your life. I'm so sorry this happened to you.
Bill 12 months ago
My best friend and I opened a business. I had a d**g problem. I got stuck in prison and he got stuck with all the bills I should have paid instead of buying d***s. We don't talk much anymore. That was the worst part. Jail I could handle, I deserved it, had it coming to me, and it saved my life. But losing my best friend devastated me.
Schnitzel 12 months ago
So OP went to PRISON, not jail, based on evidence that were wrong and then a lawyer, lawyered up and got it all sorted?
Pencil 12 months ago
None of this is really how it happens. If OP was in prison, that means he was convicted. And you don't just get "immediately released" because some new evidence appeared that points to a different person who has not been convicted. At best the process takes years. (Not just in the US. Convictions are generally difficult to overturn everywhere.)
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Dread Pirate Roberts 12 months ago
That's awful...I hope OP finds a true friend someday, if they haven't already.
#3
I found out that not only did she know about my (ex) fiance cheating on me but was helping him hide it. Backstabbing c**t.
To find out how this conversation started in the first place, we reached out to Reddit user Salamander-One, who posed the question: "Why did you and your best friend stop talking?" She was kind enough to have a chat with Bored Panda and open up about some of her own friendships.
"I wasn't speaking with my best friend for weeks, which never happens. I was feeling very sad and lonely that day and was looking for people to relate to," the author shared. "I felt like I had no friends at all and was curious to hear stories that have made others feel the way I felt. Reading those responses made me feel so seen and so grateful for humanity. I began to realize that humans experience life the same way through different experiences. Unfortunately, loss is part of the human experience."
#4
Her dad SA’ed me one night when we were drinking (we were 16, he bought the alcohol for us) and she and her cousin saw it happen.
I didn’t speak about it until a school counselor called me into the office to discuss a sudden drop in my grades. I explained that this had happened and it’s really hard for me at school right now.
The counselor called police and made a report. Police came to my school the next day and pulled me out class, “interrogated” me for a few hours, and then brought in my friend. She denied knowing anything about it. I got a restraining order and never spoke to her again.
Until 3 years ago, at 29 we happened to be at the same house party. She asked to speak to me in the garage, and told me “I should have believed what I saw. He’s in jail for raping another girl”. I cried and was happy to hear her finally say those words (that she should have believed what she saw) but I still will never, ever have contact with her again.
Sue User 12 months ago (edited)
Geez, the vindictiveness is thick in this thread. As Pencil pointed out, the friend could have her own father issuesl.Rao isnt about pleasure, it is about control. And controlling in one are usually means controlling everywhere.
Load More Replies... Pencil 12 months ago
The friend may not herself have been the victim of the father's sexual abuse but that doesn't mean she wasn't groomed by him her entire life to be obedient and unquestioning. I don't blame OP one bit for not wanting to see her ever again but I can't help but wonder about the friend's trauma, too.
Joshua David 12 months ago
I cant imagine what a 16 year old daughter of a pédo would even WANT to believe that about thier father. The fact that she did eventually see it is good. You need to do what you need to do for your own mental health but at least she acknowledged it. Im so sorry to everyone involved ninus the perp.
Ben Aziza 12 months ago (edited)
I think 16 is old enough to have the level of agency needed especially when faced with something so abhorrent... Or at least She should not have lied. To herself or the cops... Now there are more victims... Including herself for longer... It feels like weakness so overpowering you would rather sacrifice others... Countless younger kid run away from home or straight up Parricide to protect others... All the blame is obviously on the that "thing" that needed to be castrated years ago... Still In the place of the victim I would have done the same and avoided the "friend". I would stay away from that kind of person. I would never be able to trust or rely on them.
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XenoMurph 12 months ago
It's really not that simple. We lie to ourselves all the time, not because we believe the lie, but because the truth is too hard to accept.
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#5
I’m a pediatrician and she’s an antivaxxer.
07000 12 months ago
Something similar. I am a Clinical Microbiologist and she is an antivaxxer
Dre Mosley 12 months ago (edited)
The Covid era allowed me to find out that several people I had known for years were paranoid, antivax, anti-science conspiracy nuts.
Auntriarch 12 months ago
One of my closest friends is very gullible, prone to conspiracy theories. But she has a good heart and doesn't take against me when I disagree with her (very harshly sometimes). I can live with that.
David Fox 12 months ago
Doesn't anyone actually talk and find out things about each other when dating anymore?
Elizabeth Lawlis 1 month ago
Not an anti-vaxxer but a lot of people think I am because I'm allergic to ingredients in a select few vaccines, including the Covid and Flu and they don't believe it. I was turned down for dates (before I met my fiance) because I couldn't get either jab.
Janet Graham 11 months ago
Civilized people can have opposing thoughts and still be friends. If you can't agree to disagree, then you were never friends. You were clones.
whiterabbit 12 months ago
Is she an antivaxxer or did she choose not to get a covid shot? They are two very different things.
#6
She stole over 10k of things from me over the years and used me for my situation at the time. I saw them all one day in her closet years years later. She never let me in her room btw. Now I know. Ended the friendship the next day.
Nimitz 12 months ago
Had the exact same thing happen to me. While working as a travelling IT guy my very helpful "best friend" and roommate took care of the mail for me while I was gone. After 2 years in the same house he suddenly moved out, then I started getting the letters. He got a phone in my name and 2 credit cards, then stole a chequebook on the way out. Used the phone and my S/N to open the accounts, then used the two cards to make minimum payments on each other and intercepted the bills. A month after he moved out I got the first bills, then my bank account was empty because he passed another 6k in bogus cheques. It was hell to resolve, and I still ended up having to pay $10k out of pocket even with the law on my side
CBolt 12 months ago
Identity theft is horrible & aspects/remnants of it can follow the victim the rest of his life, like having his credit ruined. Now there's also medical identity theft with people receiving thousands & thousands of $ of medical care, having gotten your medical insurance cards & account #s, then the huge claims are submitted by the providers to the insurance companies.
Load More Replies... Celtic Pirate Queen 11 months ago
My sister was like that. Always had a HUGE bag with her. I found a bunch of my stuff in her bag when she went to the bathroom. Just removed it and didn't say a word. I haven't spoken to her since (20+ years).
Joanne Mendonza-Earle 12 months ago
What did he see in her closet? Clothes? Contraband? Shoes?
Unfortunately, the OP knows all too well how it feels to lose a close friend. "My best friend and I just finished high school last month. To celebrate the last day of school, we were planning on watching the new movie Wicked in cinemas together for weeks," she shared. "We were both very excited about it, and we had everything planned out."
"As it got closer to the day we were supposed to watch the movie (about 2/3 days prior), she randomly bailed on me. I was confused because she did say that she had her money and transport ready, and she built hype around hanging out with me on the day (what would've been our first private hangout)," the author explained. "When I asked her why she bailed, she told me she'd rather join 6 of our other friends at the beach. Students from different schools were throwing a beach party to celebrate the last day of school, so it was going to be packed."
#7
I grew up.
He didn't.
He's a flat earther, born again, and fixated on people and memories from high school when we graduated like 20 years ago. "Hey remember when Mikey from 3rd period dropped his pencil and he farted when he grabbed it?" "Hey remember when that one hot girl from geology whose name i cant remember asked me for a listerine strip? Yea she was into me."
Just slowly became a bummer to hang out with and had to cut ties.
Nikole 12 months ago
Yeah, I would have nixed that after flat earther. I feel like my ex would do a born again thing… but, ex.
nm (he/him) 12 months ago
Religion+flat eartheness are closely related : https://today.yougov.com/society/articles/20510-most-flat-earthers-consider-themselves-religious / more than half of Flat earthers (52%) consider themselves “very religious,”
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Apatheist Account2 12 months ago
Reminds me of the episode of Friends where Monica dates her old crush, who still has his old bike and job at the cinema. "Remember how I always wanted to date Chip from high school? Well, last night, I did."
CBolt 12 months ago
OMG! When it's the ones who were athletes in high school & wont stop reliving "the big game" or the year they won the championship .....
Load More Replies... Janet Graham 11 months ago
Sometimes you outgrow the friendship and no longer have anything in common.
Campy 12 months ago
The thing that makes me laugh at flat-earthers, besides the obvious, is that most of the current movement was started as a joke, to see if people were dumb enough to believe it. At least with most other conspiracy/crackpot theories, they were started by people who genuinely believed them.
#8
I realized she only included me when she needed something. I finally got up the courage to tell them "no" when they wanted me to cook for their dinner party. She wanted me to buy all the food, prep, cook, and clean after. I haven't heard from her since.
SnackbarKaat 12 months ago
Had a 'friend' who only contacted me when she f****d up and needed someone to talk with. Made Fun of me behind my back too.
MiniMaus 11 months ago
Had a 'friend' who only kept up our friendship because I was a travel agent and could get free trips. Removed her from my list very quickly. She had the nerve to call me , like, 20 yrs later and wanted to 'catch up'. Her last 'finishing-up-the-call words' were ... If you ever want to go down to Bahamas ,call me. OMG the nerve of some people.
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Christina Born 12 months ago
Best friend of over 10 years. Kids grew up together. Finally got tired of being the "servant" to her "big house". Still didn't cut it off. She did. When I fell in love with and married a not rich man. She'd told me it was just as easy to fall in love with a rich man and apparently since I didn't care enough about money and status to do that, that was the end. She still texted me a few times months and even years later.... Every time just to ask me to do something for her. I declined every time.
Sven Horlemann 12 months ago
Story of my wife's (and mine) life. We are best friends when they need us, for whatever. And then... you learn there was a party and fun... and we were not even invited. We cut all contacts which led to some hilarious exchanges when they needed us and we were not available for them anymore. Leaves a very small group of friends.
Janet Graham 11 months ago
There needs to be balance and common interests for friendship to survive.
#9
She ditched me in a foreign country to go hang out with people she'd just met.
Yup.
BeesEelsAndPups 12 months ago
OMG, I've been tempted to do this with a travel partner. They complained about everything, and just wanted to watch TV in the hotel room. Unfortunately, there are laws about abandoning your kids
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"I'd been waiting impatiently for the movie to release for over 2 years, and she knew this. I was upset that she couldn't compromise for me and that I was going to have to watch the movie alone after all the plans we had for a day that was probably our last day together," Salamander-One continued. "After all, we might go our separate ways in university."
"I respected her decision to go to the beach party, but I was obviously hurt, so I stopped texting her for a few days. We ended up in this awkward position where we don't know how to go back to normal, and to this day, we don't talk," the author says. "Even on the last day at school, we were very avoidant of each other. She used to hug me everyday when she went home, and for the first time that day, on our last day together, she didn't. I wouldn't say I ended the friendship, but this definitely made it fall apart. This was what inspired me to [start this thread]."
#10
I started dating someone and she texted me that she wanted to focus only on “friendships with single women who aren’t involved with boys and are also working towards their career goals and financial independence.” I also wasn’t the first friend she had dropped for having a boyfriend. I didn’t respond until she texted months later apologizing. I brushed it off and said I was respecting her boundaries and never spoke to her again. It’s been 5 years since.
Dread Pirate Roberts 12 months ago
Sounds like ex friend was jealous and being a skank about it.
Janet Graham 11 months ago
That is a weird thing. She was thinking that her friendship was more important than your boyfriend. Odd
Angela C 12 months ago
That's not an excuse for dumping her friends as opposed to, oh I don't know, hanging out with them WITHOUT their boyfriends
Load More Replies... #11
He's just angry all the time.
Everyone else is at fault, and it's never his fault.
He's stupidly deep into the Trump/MAGA movement.
I just can't with him anymore.
DC 12 months ago
Not only that. Among the people organizing themselves to be nuts together, the MAGAts are worse in that they not only don't simply believe all of Donald's lies, they know he's lying - they consider him and them "in on it", the lies are just there to not admit it prior to becoming in power. A thing that MAGAts share with other rightwing extremists is that they never chose their allies, but take whatever happens along, and sort them out later. Born-again christians supporting a serial cheater and rapist? "God works in mysterious ways...". Yeah, sure. But, them not believing the lies he's constantly blabbering around, makes them even more dangerous.
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Jane Hower 10 months ago
Send him my way - if he's a TRUMPSTER he's got a great mind and a good heart!!!!!
Jennifer Brown 11 months ago
I think a LOT of people are having this problem with friends/family/co workers.....the stupidity overwhelms us! We can't even wrap our head around how our country got to this point!
Wheeskers 12 months ago
You libgobs are bonkers. Reading your responses makes me so glad I'm not one of you people. You guys have your heads so far up there you can't see the utter immense hypocrisy of your gyrations. Who is that screams at people? Who is it that makes emotions the highlight of their lives? I know I'll get down voted into oblivion but I just can't let you think you're right.
Bill 12 months ago (edited)
If Trump would just shut his mouth and stay out of the public as much as possible like a normal POTUS would things might go better. Just let the professionals run it for a while. I see him as a Reality show host/Influencer type who happened to make some lucky investments and learned how to lie with a straight face.
Bill 12 months ago
I would have voted for Ozzy this time around. Or maybe that 3 legged dog on the Alice in Chains album cover. Either would do fine.
Load More Replies... #12
He stopped responding, which he does every once in a while, just won’t respond. Instead of reaching out after a few months in which we would be best friends again and text and game when we could, I just let it slip. He reached out like after 6 months and apologized, I forgave immediately and then went back to ignoring. If sucks but I've stopped investing into people who won’t invest into me.
Weasel Wise 12 months ago
Or they just really doesn't prefer the OP. Or that person might be incredibly busy with life (like having kids, going to school). Or that person could be in an abusive relationship. Or maybe the person is just a flake. But go ahead and diagnosis based off three sentences from the OP. 🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️
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Lew k 12 months ago
I can be like this. Part of it is just getting older and busy. I don't have friends like i did in my 20s anymore. I see my long time friends at best once every couple of months. We all have families and work and I'm a big time introvert to start. I used to see these guys multiple times a week but now we might not talk for 6-7 months until a birthday or holiday.
Stacy Bender 12 months ago
Yes, sometimes distance does this too, but when you do get together time disappears.
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Craig S. (EvilSausage) 12 months ago
Okay wait, does he stop responding to just you, or to everyone? Because this sounds like the problem might be OP's, not the friend's.
Pensive_Panda 12 months ago
I was in a "relationship" like that with a guy I met online. We talked like every other day for almost 2 years when I was stuck in a physical therapy care center for a severely broken leg at the height of Covid. We continued talking once I got discharged. He even used ro send me pizza or salads sometimes, just to be nice. Then our conversations became fewer and farther between. Then they stopped altogether. Turns out he got back together with his ex-wife. Supposedly, they were divorced. Now, I'm not so sure. But, ya, that's a possibility: that the person is involved with someone else.
The Doom Song 12 months ago
I gave up trying to maintain friendships. I got sick of always being the one that was putting in any effort so I gave up. I'm a lot happier these days
Stacy Bender 12 months ago (edited)
I've got a friend similar to this. I've known them for years and never had an issue with long silences. I also know and understood their background. It's worse now that their mother is gone and their health is declining. So far the cats are keeping them alive and I still worry.
As far as why it's so painful to lose a close friend, the author says, "Losing a best friend is like losing a core part of your life, especially since you've shared so many special moments with them. You get so used to being around each other that you become more alike than you realize. Your best friend is the person you turn to to laugh, to cry, and to find support. They become family, and you have the comfort to be yourself around them without the fear of judgement."
"Finding friends where you give 100% of yourselves to each other nowadays is rare, and those are the friendships I treasure the most. Losing that love and acceptance is devastating. Losing a person you love in any way is a heart-wrenching feeling, and it is very difficult to move on from what was once a big part of your life," she added.
#13
She started posting extremely antisemitic things on her social media when the Israel-Palestine war began. She was sharing posts calling for retaliation against all Jewish people.
I'm Jewish. She knew that. When I asked her why she was sharing that kind of stuff, she doubled down.
Clown fish 12 months ago (edited)
I stopped talking to a friend when they came out with I quote "all these f#cking gypsies turning up they will be nicking stuff" I'm from a gypsy family and when I pointed that out she shrugged and said yeah but you're different!
Guess Undheit 12 months ago
Define "anti-semetic". Did she say, "jews are _____" or did she say "israeli is committing war crimes and genocide"? Because there are plenty of dishonest scum that pretend those are the same thing.
Orysha 12 months ago
Retaliation against all Jews is stupid. Retaliating againt the Israeli government and its army is self defence;
B 12 months ago
It's not self defense to unalive people savagely in their homes, SA them. Not only Jews, but Arabs and 30 other nationalities. The fact that people like you think this is acceptable show how it's become anti-semitic to not support Israel.
Load More Replies... Plenty Pineapples 12 months ago
"The road to Auschwitz was built by hate but paved by indifference"
Janet Graham 11 months ago
Yes. She is not worth your friendship. You can still pray for her, though.
Dread Pirate Roberts 12 months ago
That's horrid. I'm only a very tiny percentage Jewish, but my half brother in Germany is much more (his mom was full Jewish), and he's been getting constantly harassed ever since the Israel and Hamas war started. Thank God he's an expert in kung fu, just in case someone takes it too far with him. So needless to say, this is a pretty touchy subject for me.
Pencil 12 months ago
First, there is no such thing as "THE" Jewish community. Jews are not a monolith and their diversity of opinion is as broad as any other group of millions. Second, neither the Israeli government nor the people who elected it are purely innocent in the current crisis or historically. It's an incredibly complex and fraught situation with more than enough blame and suffering to go around.
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Remi (He/Him) 12 months ago
Israel committing war crimes doesn't mean everyone Jewish should be punished for it. That's just plain hate mongering what the ex friend is doing
Load More Replies... #14
We were both born as Jehovahs Witnesses. He’s still in, I’m not. He’s not allowed to talk to me.
Nikole 12 months ago
I don’t understand how adults still believe in these things. I guess I’m speaking of organized religion because both of my parents are agnostic. But generally I’m speaking of all of that business.
Alex Ruddies 12 months ago
I figure it's because life is short, uncertain, and we fear our own end. Religion brings comfort to a lot of people who try to answer these intrusive thoughts. And that I can understand. But when it becomes something that controls people, makes them deny their own selves, and "others" people who don't fit their dogmatic ideology, it becomes something that brings harm, not comfort to people. Once again, I understand why people have religious beliefs, and I feel empathy for them, but the harm it does is beyond understanding.
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Wang Zhuang 12 months ago
I grew up as a JW, and my family wasn't so strict when it came to the association rule. In general, JWs are only meant to hang out with other JWs, but my folks were cool, so I had a variety of friends growing up. You're right, it's sad
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Janet Graham 11 months ago
I did not know that was a thing with JW. They make the rounds talking to strangers all of the time. Was it just because he fell away?
Dread Pirate Roberts 11 months ago
Yep, if you leave or are excommunicated, other JW's are required to shun you. It's really messed up.
Load More Replies... Dread Pirate Roberts 12 months ago (edited)
I always felt bad for a girl I knew in elementary school. She was from a Jehovah's Witness family and was hardly allowed to do anything harmlessly fun. Like she didn't really get to be a kid because she was basically stuck in a cult.
Dawnieangel76 11 months ago
I believe in God/gods, and afterlives/reincarnation, but NOT religion. Man cannot create rules for otherly beings.
Jennifer Brown 11 months ago
I don't blame you....organized religion can ruin many friendships...at least you found your way out
#15
She asked me to help her fake a vaccine card to keep her job (at a nail salon) because she didn’t wanna take it. I said no. She stopped texting.
Glen Ellyn 12 months ago
I wouldn't have faked a card either. There are just too many people who will lie and cheat to get what they want. Whatever happened to honestly and integrity?
Joshua David 12 months ago
You can become accessory to a crime doing that. You're smart. She's a moron.
nm (he/him) 12 months ago
Humans created societies to protect each one from external enemies. The members of the societies have benefits and obligations. You cannot have the one without the other. Get the f*****g vaccine to protect yourself AND the others or get the f**k out of your society, to live alone in the wilderness.
Wondering Alice 12 months ago
I can grasp why some do not want to be vaccinated, however they need to understand why the rest of us need to avoid them. Some people are unvaccinated because they can't be, they are put at a very unfair risk if someone fakes certificate
CBolt 12 months ago
A neighbor wouldn't get the Covid vaccine - he didn't want to put something in his body when he didn't know what might be in it - yet freely admitted that he had willingly gotten other vaccines in the past. & I know ER workers who tell of people with Covid being brought in, begging, "Gimme the shot! Gimme the shot!" Uhhh, that ship has sailed.
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Jane Hower 10 months ago
Guess the current PROOF that vacinees are harmful and often not helpful, and NEVER should be been forced on us isn't sinking in, right???????????? What an idiot you are.
Sheila Simonson 11 months ago
it's funny how some people can claim my body my choice, but not others
We also asked the author what she thought of the replies to her post. "I felt a heartwarming gratitude seeing so many people reply and share their stories. I started feeling emotional because I realized that I wasn't as alone as I thought I was," she shared.
"There were so many people who felt like me, still processing losing a best friend, and I connected to those stories the most. Feeling that connection with people's life experiences pulled me out of my sadness because connection was what I needed most in that moment," the OP continued. "Kind strangers reached out to me to share words of advice and encouragement. I tried reading all of the stories and replied to as many as I possibly could. I was honored to be briefly let in on so many people's experiences with friendship."
#16
Well, I’m glad you asked….
She didn’t ask me to be a bridesmaid at her wedding, I had known her for 25 years and she asked girls she had known for only a few months.
Accordingly, I didn’t ask her to be involved in my wedding. I had my two sisters, whom I had actually known for longer than her. Didn’t stop her from making a spectacle at the wedding, which was on a very hot day. She pulled out the front of my dress and dumped an entire box of confetti down there. I was a bit sweaty, my dress got stained in red, pink, blue and green spots for the photos. Thanks friend.
She didn’t acknowledge the birth of my first child. To be fair, I did learn later that she had suffered a number of miscarriages that year but still…
We would invite her and her husband over for cosy little dinner parties and put a lot of effort into them. Candles and fancy food and nice wines. When she reciprocated the invitation, we would always arrive to find she had also asked three or four other couples and would not bother cooking, we’d get pizza.
She never got in contact with me, it was always me calling her.
She didn’t call me to tell me that she was finally pregnant, didn’t tell me when she’d had the baby. I always found out through other people.
None of these things seemed like big deals at the time but added up, it caused a lot of pain and tears from my end. Why didn’t she like me?
I got the hint. She didn’t want to be friends anymore. Okay.
I removed her from all my socials and accepted that she had moved on, so although I didn’t understand why, I shrugged and moved on too.
Now years later, she goes around telling everyone she doesn’t understand what she did so wrong as to cause me to give her the cold shoulder and block her. I haven’t blocked her, she simply has not re-requested to follow me. That doesn’t suit her “poor me” narrative though, does it?
She’s a drama queen, always wants to be the centre of attention and needs to be bolstered up by a crowd of adoring people all around her. I’m simply not interested in being a shoulder for her to step on as she climbs her way to the top. She’s got plenty of those already.
Sorry, that was long. It’s obviously a touchy subject.
Dusty's mom 12 months ago
They'll all come to the point where they understand your stance on the situation. They just haven't been used enough yet. Count it a win and move in a new circle.
Craig S. (EvilSausage) 12 months ago (edited)
Wait, am I missing something? The incident with the confetti is a physical assault. On your special day. And it damaged a very expensive item of your property. How was that not a deal breaker? Like a deal breaker that would lead to criminal charges, a civil suit, or a fist fight.
Bette 12 months ago
We became close at school. She remained what I thought was a close friend .........until I learned that she was telling the world about my private life!! I gave her a chance to recant. (silly me) But over the years learned that she only gossips/complains about others. Closed the door on that "friendship".
Thomas Ewing 11 months ago
Some folks don't even know that they are being abusive/manipulative---to them it's just normal living. Pointing out flaws becomes denial fuel rather than a growth moment. In their mind, it's ALWAYS somebody else's fault. You will never see them in church, because that involves too much HONESTY.
Marianne Grann 12 months ago
Good for you - she doesn’t sound as a keeper and loyal friend anyway!
Ginger ninja 11 months ago
You took way too long to ditch her. She should have been gone straight after the confetti stunt, I would’ve had her kicked out from the wedding immediately
#17
She invited a friend I had introduced her to to her wedding but didn’t invite me. That hurt.
Glen Ellyn 12 months ago
It's extremely painful when you find out your friends is not who you think they are. So sorry this happened to you.
BeesEelsAndPups 12 months ago
Not enough info here. Maybe she's close to that new friend but not really to the OP. That can easily happen
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Christos Arvanitis 12 months ago (edited)
It depends on a few things. I introduced a lot of my friends to each other and, over time, many have become closer than I am with some of them. I introduced some friends to each other back in the nineties and over time they grew closer and just went to one of their kids' weddings... that I didn't even now about. I don't see this as a slight and instead am proud that I have helped people to make connections.
Pandapoo 12 months ago
Yeah, I wouldn’t be offended. Some people connect well with each other and that’s a good thing.
Load More Replies... Bette 12 months ago
I introduced her to my friend group when she moved here. I thought we were close........until she had other people in her wedding party.
Nimitz 12 months ago
Lol, I remember having two very close friends who were a couple. I went through a hard time and was unemployed, they were kind to me and even fed me sometimes. I cleaned for them while I was poor and then paid them back with groceries once I was back on my feet. When it came time for the wedding I set aside $2,000 in cash as a gift, but didn't expect an invite. They ghosted me and told our mutual friends not to give me their mailing address so I couldn't send a gift because they thought I was still poor and couldn't afford anything on the registry. I took the friends out for a night of food and drinks and spent the 2k on them instead. We had an incredible time without those two
Janet Graham 11 months ago
I had a high school friend who was my Maid of Honor. She married a couple of years later and I was invited to the 'picnic in the park' afterward. I knew no one. Not even her family was there. Forty years later, she looks me up on FB and wants to be best buds again. I just don't want to open myself up like that. Nope, nope, nope.
Michael Largey 12 months ago
I was close (I thought) friends with my college roommate and his fiancée. When they got married, they invited the girl who had dumped me but not me.
#18
He got a job making 6 figures and became materialistic while ridiculing Union workers (like me) and he phased me out of his social life now that he’s got rich friends.
Angela C 12 months ago
In this case I suppose they're rich relative to OP, not necessarily full on wealthy
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Gracie Mae 11 months ago
It hurts too, when the person that makes it big is family and does this.
Janet Graham 11 months ago
He has changed, and that's ok. I am sure you have changed, too. So you each go on your own paths and don't look back.
Cpt. Christan "Panda Bombero" 12 months ago
Until he gets made redundant. I am Union Proud & Union Strong. IAFF Local 3972
CBolt 12 months ago (edited)
We're in a sort of similar position - friends who became wealthy - but different, in that we haven't been dropped by anybody but are tired of the thinly veiled references to someone's nouveau mega-wealth: "I never imagined insuring an 8-caret diamond would be so expensive!" Because there are no good connecting flights from (largest airport in the Pacific Northwest) to Europe (ugh - always have to stay extra days to get over jet lag), had to buy a 2nd home in (funky/fun island off the coast of FL) to get better flights [made no sense to me either]. At the 2nd home, OMG, iguanas, or something, are eating the fruit off some sort of tree & making a mess in & around the pool & spa area. We're doing fine, better off than a lot, but nowhere near being in their ballpark & never will be. I'm not particularly envious of the $, tho' I wouldn't mind having some of it; if it fell into my lap I wouldn't turn it down - but am annoyed at the attitude & don't look at their posts unless I'm in a mood to read something so ridiculously transparent & get a good laugh.
"There were some emotional stories, such as the best friend passing away and not having the chance to say goodbye. There were some extreme stories, such as the best friend committing serious crimes or going down a dark path of drug addiction," the author continued. "There were somber moments as well, where the friendship just naturally faded, where the two friends have different directions in life. Each story stood out to me as I read through them because they touched on different key aspects of friendship that people tend to neglect, such as empathy, support, and a listening ear."
#19
His dumb, married a*s tried to sleep with my ex less than 48 hours after we’d broken up… And now, two years later, he’s sitting in prison for 20-ish years after sending an undercover FBI agent some sick pics/vids.
Serves the f****r right.
Janet Graham 11 months ago
Let the hurt and anger go. You are so much better without him as a 'friend'. Plus, he is a sicko.
#20
Posted my pregnancy announcement before my family and friends were aware. We hadn’t even gotten our NIPT results back (I was high risk). When confronted she informed me it wasn’t a big deal and it’s not like anyone on her friends list knew me. You could hear us saying in the video to not post anything online yet since we wanted to surprise family. Multiple times. Lies about deleting it as well. My husband confronted her and she shrugged and again refused to accept responsibility/accountability. I knew then I couldn’t trust her around my kid.
Jenna Kay 12 months ago
Not her announcement to post! Also, if they didn't share any friends online - why post about someone else's pregnancy in the first place? Just weird.
Pencil 12 months ago (edited)
Some people just love to the the first to know. Doesn't matter what they know, just as long as they can get the social clout of being first.
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Celtic Pirate Queen 11 months ago
My SIL(1) did that when my BIL died. I am very close to his wife (the other SIL) and she hadn't told anyone but her kids yet. So I read my dear friend's husband had passed away on FACEBOOK. F*cking b*tch. Not really surprised, though. She always has to be the center of attention.
#21
She started dating a guy (43) who was non-monogamous on his end (but monogamous on her end - she reassured me it worked). Turns out he had been messaging a 16 year old girl for the last year and intended to have her move in with him the day she turned 18. She found nothing wrong with it, also stating that when she “gets her bearings” with the new move, she also intends to make her move on her (sexually) with him. When she told me about it the girl was just two weeks shy of 18 and “what is the difference between her body two weeks away from 18 and after 18” um…. The law? That’s the last time I spoke to her.
You never really know who people are.
Auntriarch 12 months ago
Maybe you could get a police officer to explain it to her.... Just for clarification you understand
Carol Farrington 12 months ago
Definitely call police! He has been grooming her for the last 2 years and who believes he hasn’t had sexual contact with her yet? There will be certainly be others in the future he does this to if he isn’t stopped.
Finally, Salamander-One shared some kind words for anyone who has experienced loss or isolation: "You are not alone in that. It is difficult to navigate through that feeling, and healing through it takes time. Do not let past experiences prevent you from creating special ones with new people. Open your heart to learning and loving through experience. You have people who love and care for you, and you will find more people in life who will reciprocate the love you give to them. This is just a small chapter of the life experience, and there are so many chapters ahead. It takes a little bit of time."
#22
He went down the MAGA rabbit hole. I don't need that BS in my life. Maybe someday he'll come around.
Nikole 12 months ago
When they all come around, it’ll be too late because the damage will have already been done. Thanks, guys.
Jane Hower 10 months ago
Or maybe someday YOU will get a brain and a heart. But meanwhile keep going doen the lib/tard commie rabbit hole. idiot
Janet Graham 11 months ago
I am proud to be MAGA and MAHA. We can disagree in a civilized manner.
Apatheist Account2 12 months ago
So you don't want America to be great? Seriously - he's been elected TWICE. So was George W. So was Reagan. So many people in the country and that's the best you can elect? I've never understood why Americans are so convinced that they're already great.
Michael Largey 12 months ago
We Americans are both amused and saddened by anyone thinking that we decide who holds office in this country.
Load More Replies... #23
I grew tired of being taken advantage of and taken for granted. Without ever getting a "thank you" for everything I did for them. We were best friends for 17 years. I ended that friendship, I deleted their number, deleted them off my social media accounts. A weight was lifted off my shoulders when I ended that friendship. We haven't talked for 3 years, and will continue to do so. What they do, is none of my concern anymore, nor has it been.
The Doom Song 12 months ago
I had a "friend" like this. Whenever they needed help, I was always there but when I needed help they wouldn't be there. Sometimes the best thing you can do for yourself is to move on
Janet Graham 11 months ago
Pick your boat-anchors carefully. It gets harder when they are family.
#24
1. Because I paid her husband's auto shop to replace my radiator, and the techs failed to put fluids back in my car. New radiator exploded, far from home and even further from the auto shop. They refused to fix the problems, so I complained to the corporate office and husband got in trouble and lost bonuses. So bestie was not allowed to speak to me anymore.
2. Other bestie's boyfriend wanted to advertise his tree services in my yard. I was ok with it, but the landscaping company my landlord paid was not, and they removed the sign without telling me. I was accused of sabotaging the boyfriend's business.
Glad to be free of the drama.
Janet Graham 11 months ago
If they didn't care for the trees, they shouldn't be posting ads around those trees. It sounds like poaching on their part and a giant overstep on yours. As far as the mechanic, you did what you needed to do. If he had been all he was cracked up to be, it would not have happened.
#25
She told her son (he and my daughter are the same age) that my daughter looked like a wh*re in her homecoming dress. He told my daughter she said that. I asked her through text if it was true and she left me on read. I never talked to her again. Several years later she started working where i was already working and tried to buddy up to me in her new hire training and I completely ignored her.
Kit Black 12 months ago
Had a similar situation - daughter's best friend was always the type to want to act older than her age and was allowed to do things that my daughter wasn't allowed to do - but we got along ok. The other kiddo was on b.c. for really bad acne, and my friend told me that she was having it stopped shortly after the little girl turned 12 ~ because she might think it meant it was ok to be sexually active~. I pointed out that if she genuinely thought her child was going to try to be sexually active that young, she should talk to her about it more and leave her on the b.c. Guess who the kid told first when she got pregnant at 14... I had to convince her to tell her mother - mom forced an abortion the kid resented for *years*. She later started telling people *my daughter* was a bad influence - behind my back - then acted shocked as hell when I cut off all contact with her.
#26
I noticed that, especially when we're around other people, she undermines my intelligence at every opportunity. I realized after 4 years of what seemed like a close, wholesome friendship that she was using me as an accessory to make herself look and feel smarter. I would've taken the pain of a truck running me over than having experienced that epiphany.
I still haven't really let go of the person I thought she was and I miss it so, so much. But over the course of those 4 years I had come to fully accept that I was a bumbling idiot, and somehow it took me this long to realize she was the cause.
Dusty's mom 12 months ago
You're still internalizing her gaslighting, No, you're not a "bumbling idiot". She still has her claws in your psyche.
Janet Graham 11 months ago
At least you have seen it for what it is and now can move on. Don't let it give you trust issues, but do leave the rose-colored glasses at home.
#27
As far as I know, he wasn't allowed to talk to me for being atheist. He's from a very religious family, but that was never a problem, I lived in the same neighborhood and spent a lot of time at his place, and was fairly close with his religious parents, they were wonderful people. We naturally grew apart during/after college, but would catch up whenever I was in town. He married a born-again (next level religion obsessed), and I even attended their wedding. I saw him a couple times after, but eventually there was no contact at all, and I was also dropped on Facebook. Rumor is she didn't want him around me because I'm not a believer, which makes me a bad influence. I guess being the voice of reason when he tried to start drunken bar fights was problematic.
Jul Chv 12 months ago
I would say this is abuse also. When you are not allowed to see people by your spouse, it's définitely some kind of abuse. Not ok.
Pencil 12 months ago
Agree. Or it could be less the spouse herself than a very cult-like church. Either way, it's abusive.
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Janet Graham 11 months ago
It sounds like religion (its presence or absence) is being blamed for a whole lot of things.
Sven Horlemann 12 months ago
Even without religion, I lost 2 of my best friends when they married their first wifes. Both times the wifes were simply jealous of the trust, the history, we had. Nothing to do about it.
#28
She couldn’t support me when my ma passed.
Apatheist Account2 12 months ago
Some people don't have it in their make-up.
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Tina Michelle 12 months ago
Same. Lost mother and dad in less than 4 months in 2023, haven't seen or heard from her in almost a year. Just one day, stopped reading any messages, stopped everything. It's like she died too.
Janet Graham 11 months ago
There is a huge difference between wouldn't and couldn't. How did you need her support? Did she get along with your mom? Was she too emotionally stressed with her own bag to worry about yours?
CBolt 12 months ago
So very sorry your friend wasn't there when you needed her. It's very hard & adds to your heartbreak when someone in particular that you want to be able to count on, to comfort you, to hold you, just can't or won't do it. I think sometimes people do want to offer solace but simply have no idea what to do or where to start. If only they could simply say, "How canI help you? What can I do for you?"
#29
I gotta be honest, I don’t know the answer and it’s been haunting me for years. She cut off contact with me back in 2022 and suddenly disappeared off the face of the earth—not just me, literally everyone who knew her in our friend group and even her acquaintances in the city, it’s something we talk about about time to time.
The only reason I’m assured she’s alive and well is because our families still talk, her mom has given a few updates but largely keeps it hush hush too. She’s active on social media and kept all the picture of us tgt, plus her profile picture is still one I took of her many years ago. I don’t understand what happened and it’s messed me up pretty bad, this girl was my whole world and losing her was really hard. I tried getting back in touch but she won’t respond, since I’m extremely non-confrontational I’ve given up. Probably the biggest mystery of my life and I’d do anything to know why.
Joshua David 12 months ago
Perhaps she was going through something bigger than anyone knew. Hope it works out for her.
Lew k 12 months ago
This is me. I disappeared on most of my friends group almost 20 years ago. It started as just needing to get my life in order. Guys I hung with weren't bad guys but all we did was party. I got arrested a few times for stupid stuff like bar fights and a DUI and found myself in a hole. After a few months and a move it was just easier to stay no contact. They still had the same lives and partying all the time and I couldn't be a part of it anymore, I had thousands in fines and needed to stay out of trouble and move forward with my life. Nothing they did wrong really and I felt bad that I just disappeared rather than explaining it just wasn't a conversation I knew how to have or that they would have understood at the time.
Just stopping by 12 months ago
Eh your situation sounds a bit different and more like something that was needed. What OP describes seems more random but I guess there's really not enough information to go off of.
Load More Replies... Jenna Kay 12 months ago
Sometimes people feel the need to start over - mental health issues, fear, changed faith, escaping a lie, cancer, etc. You never know. I stopping using virtually every social media account I had due to mental health issues and I know people wondered if I was okay - I was not, and I needed help. I still don't use most things!!
Xenia Harley 12 months ago
I think the pandemic screwed up a lot of people, especially if they were already struggling with issues. Even some time after, it hit some people very hard, the isolation, stress, etc.
kath morgan 12 months ago
“this girl was my whole world” could this be part of the issue? It can be tough to feel that much pressure coming from one side of a friendship. It can burn you out. Also that sort of thing can be hard to articulate to them and others.
CBolt 12 months ago
It seems there are a lot of people who thought highly of this girl & are confused about her disappearance, not just OP.
Load More Replies... CBolt 12 months ago
I would because I'm going to remember your name & be on the lookout for you among the Pandas.
Load More Replies... #30
We used to be inseparable and losing that connection to her is the one thing I've regretted in my life.
We came from very different backgrounds and were in very different situations so I just didn't think she would understand what I was going through. I was dealing with really bad depression that led me to isolate myself from my friendships more and more every time, so I slowly stopped reaching out to her, and the more time passed without talking the harder it was for me to reach out to her again for fear of her being mad at me.
At this point I haven't talked to her in about 5 years, but I heard from an old mutual friend that she had gotten engaged and seemed to be thriving, so I'm really glad for her, I wish her nothing but the best in life even if I can't tell her directly.
Joshua David 12 months ago
They will probably be on the phone for hours catching up and forgiving past mistakes.
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ArchangelLoki 12 months ago
I have a friend like this, as in, I'm the one who recently got engaged (blah blah blah) and I have an old friend I haven't spoken to in years. If she reached out to me I'd be thrilled, she was my bestie. I haven't reached out to her because I felt like every time I did so I inconvenienced her, but that's on me; I have anxiety and will apologise for existing. Miss you Lucy.
#31
We went to different colleges and created new friend groups.
Nothing traumatic, just life.
Ozymandias 12 months ago
My worst nightmare is that all my friends that I have made that are a couple years older than me or so are going to drop me once they go to college. Some of them I'm fine (or even better) letting go, but a couple of them I hold dear to my heart. I have some trauma related to being ignored or left behind and for them just leaving would be catastrophic, but it's a part of life, I guess.
Auntriarch 12 months ago
Things will undoubtedly change, but not necessarily for the worse.
Load More Replies... Angela C 12 months ago
Sometimes that's how it goes. Life takes you in different directions and sometimes you drift apart. Happened with my sister and the girl she was best friends with growing up. It's sad when you realize you're not as close as you once were though. But the thing about drifting apart is it's not out of the realm of possibility to drift back together later on.
#32
She is still friends with my ab*sive ex.
Tempest 12 months ago
One of my closest friends from uni, who I confided in about my struggles and abuse from my now ex boyfriend and who herself was in an almost identical relationship (which I helped her through), not only remained friends with my ex but even partied with him and went to the extent of telling him, in front of his friends, to stay away from me because I’m not good for him. I heard this from two of his friends who were there when she said that. She and I have had a falling out at that time but we were still civil and I was planning to apologize to everything (ignoring her faults up to then) and patch things up. When I heard this I knew that I never want her back in my life. As far as I know she and my ex are still friends but I’ve gone no contact with both of them.
#33
She openly didn't like my girlfriend (who was nothing but incredibly nice to her) and wasn't nice to her at all. Right after my grandma passed away (within a week), I was supposed to go pick her up from the airport and I told her WE were coming to pick her up and she went off the rails and went off on me. All I needed was my friend and she was pissed off that my girlfriend was going to tag along.
This isn't the first girlfriend that she wasn't nice to, but it was the first one I realized it with.
We're in our 30s now and knew each other since 5th grade. It really is a shame. I do still miss her, but she showed she wasn't a true friend.
#34
She was mad that I had s*x before marriage and guilt-tripped me for it. No, I never told her I adhered to that.
Fast forward to today and she's living in sin with her boyfriend. Hypocrite.
#35
I honestly don't really know. I was supposed to stay at his house and watch his cat while he was away for a week. A couple days before that, I had an epileptic seizure, no big deal to me, they happen, I deal with them. He knew about them, he had even seen a couple happen, so he wasn't at all ignorant about them.
I mentioned in casual conversation that I'd had a seizure, and his response was that I might have another one and somehow burn his house down in the process, and basically blamed me for having epilepsy. That pissed me off, so I told him how he made me feel, and I remained civil about it, but he decided that was the end of our friendship that had been going for more than 20 years. He blocked me, gave no real explanation, and I haven't heard from him since. It was totally an over the top reaction to a simple "dude... that wasn't cool", and also very out of character for him.
Michael Largey 12 months ago
Sometimes you know someone for twenty years and then find out you don't.
#37
Because I get tired sitting on the phone for 2 hours listening to the same exact s**t every single time! Husband did this husband did that. I tired to tell her to move on. They’ve been divorced 3 years and still live together because they can’t sale their house. Bought it 5 years ago for $250k painted the inside and now want $1.5m for it. They’ve had 1 showing in 3 years!! Shut up already!
#38
She announced the death of my other friend (s*icide) on Instagram before his parents had an opportunity to tell anyone.
Shark Lady 12 months ago
Police have said that they now always have to race to inform the next of kin to try and get to them before anything ends up online.
#39
After I left home, it took me many years to realize that one, we'd grown apart no matter how much we spoke on the phone, and two, it was a one-way relationship where I was doing all the work to keep in contact. All the calling, all the traveling back to my hometown to visit...just everything. I finally decided that if she truly cared, she would've reached out. It hurt to come to that realization, but when it happened, I decided I was finished, and really haven't looked back.
#40
I wish I had such short answers as some people have.
Mine was a slow descend. I was always expected to talk her off the ledge, but I never got any support back. She has substance abuse issues, but always put herself in situations in which she’d be faced with said substances. Then I’d have to talk her down for a week afterward due to her anxiety.
The last straw was a friend camp out. She got hammered, as per usual. She did c*ke and went off the rails. She hyper focused on me, and brought up issues we had in our friendship from 3 years ago, that we had talked extensively about. It turned into her literally yelling at me and not allowing me to talk. I simply looked at her and said im not going to stand here and take this, and walked away.
She followed me around, trying to talk/yell. She accuses me of being “the bad guy.” No clue what she was even saying. I gave her one last warning. I said you don’t want to do this. She told me she was done with me, she’d never talk to me again, and to *go f**k myself*. I walked away. This was around 8pm ish. For the rest of the evening she tried hugging me, she tried holding my hand, she tried putting her head on my shoulder.
I just ignored her, walked away and continued to enjoy my night.
She was so messed up she couldn’t stand straight. Mutual friends put her to bed 4 times. Each time she came back out. I blocked her on all platforms the next morning.
I heard from friends later that she “doesn’t remember what happened.” That she doesn’t know why I’m upset with her.
She even ran into my mom at the store and started to cry, saying she misses me and she regrets going camping?? It’s been a year and a half. I can say my life has been substantially more calm, and I don’t deal with high school theatrics anymore. Oh we’re in our mid 30s.
#41
Despite my best efforts, his life was heading in a direction I wasn’t willing to follow, nor could I prevent the decline. Chose to save myself and get out of the d**g scene which eventually killed him.
Shark Lady 12 months ago
You'll never escape the cycle of getting clean, followed by relapse, if you continue to be in contact with fellow addicts. You have to get out when you hit your rock-bottom because that is when you have the best chance of getting clean.
#42
He just brings politics in every single discussion. At one point it gets so tiring and irritating.
For example last time I asked do you like to go for cycling in the Sunday morning. He was like, the govt is so bad that everything is expensive blah blah. So I stopped contacting him and now we barely meets.
Michael Largey 12 months ago
Yep, I regularly see Joe Biden in my grocery store, putting price stickers on the butter and eggs.
Dre Mosley 12 months ago (edited)
Ah, every time something costs too much for their liking, they bring up, "Bidenomics," right? I know one of those.
Auntriarch 12 months ago
There's always one. Two if you're really unlucky.
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#43
I saved money for years to go on a trip of a lifetime. He couldn’t save anything. I still went. He is still pissed about it 20 years later.
#44
He went full bible thumper and maga cultist.
Michael Largey 12 months ago
One right answer doesn't always lead to another. But a wrong one usually does.
#45
He decided I was a "commie", and my daughter was an abomination that didn't deserve to live.
Michael Largey 12 months ago
Well, he was then gone from your life, but it sounds like what they call in baseball trades "addition by subtraction".
#46
She got into a poly relationship with a guy and his wife. He was uncomfortable with how much her and I messaged each other so she sent me this long message telling me she was cutting me out of her life completely because, “He would do the same if I asked him to.”.
#47
I got a graduate degree and a new job. She told me I thought I was better than her despite never saying, thinking, or feeling that.
SnackbarKaat 12 months ago
Happened to me too. Also, my SIL laughs with everything about university, saying we feel better or we are arrogant or the uniforms we graduated in are monkey suits...
Michael Largey 12 months ago
Best reply may be "Since when is being better than you so much of an accomplishment that I'd get stuck up about it? How is it that your life is the measuring rod of success?"
#49
He's a d**g dealer, and I used to be addicted to d***s.
Sounds like a horrible idea really.
#50
Mike and I used to love debating political s**t, but as I got older, I stopped wanting to do it for a lot of reasons. He discovered that he could win by not being honest. I started by changing the subject, or saying that I don't feel like getting into it tonight, or that we can talk about it later.
He never got the hint, and started calling me drunk late at night hollering about people taking over the country, and the downfall of America, and that I need to agree with him, and it went from putting it off, to just not answering the phone, to asking him to stop calling me.
Sad. I knew the dude for 20 years, I just couldn't keep up the energy he had, I had way bigger fish to fry.
#51
Because she got married and moved and we both changed. No bad blood at all. Just growth in different directions. Took me a few years to get over it.
Kit Black 12 months ago
I know the picture is not of the people the comment is talking about, but dang, I have never seen a man look so bored in a wedding portrait
Rose Stewart 12 months ago
Probably the 500th stock photo the models took after a long day.
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#52
The pandemic. We would visit our home town at the same time and go out for drinks whenever we could, normally two or three times a year. We'd known each other since the year 2000, and we always picked up where we left off with no issues.
Then I go myself in a s****y pandemic-related situation with someone who used up all my mental energy and kind of consumed my life.
Two years later, while reminiscing, I got drunk enough to text her "is this still ABC's number?".
In the middle of the night, I got a long, gushing, enthusiastic reply, complete with email address because nobody likes giving life updates via text.
I fell asleep that night excited to get up and tell her everything that'd happened in the intervening years. I did. She replied with "proper response coming soon, here's a photo of us when we were like 20!".
That was two years ago. Not a word since. I have no idea what happened.
#53
Had kids still made an effort for her. Didn’t have a car still got my mom to watch the kids here and there so I could take the bus go see her. I couldn’t always go out clubbing like she wanted because I had a family but was open to always being there having her back and making time. We took pics and she never put them up but had pictures of her other friends everywhere.
She said I was too boring for her. So I just ghosted her when weeks later she wanted comfort cause her bf broke up with her. Stopped caring cause it was one sided and I was clearly being used as the emotional support therapist friend and nothing more.
I was sad years ago but now I’m so glad I let go of that friendship.
#54
Let them move into my apartment, didn't pay rent and was an animal ab*ser. Called SPCA and had over 50+ animals removed. They operated a "reptile rescue".
Racing Tadpole 12 months ago
Freind who was quite narcissistic difficult enough to be around anyway . She would ask to have stuff so blatantly that I would Give her the item stupidly...anyway she would hit her dog for not coming to her immediately and that was the end, very short tempered person...
#55
BFF for 30 years now. About the 20 year mark she drafted up an email meant for her sister, about me. ALL bad stuff. She accidentally sent it to me. She was beyond embarrassed and she asked that I delete the email, which i didn't. I personally think she was jealous of me. I was married, with children and she didn't have any of it, which she wanted. we really never talked about it again and we are ok now.
#56
He stood me up for lunch because he died. Haven’t talked to him since.
Lame Llama 12 months ago
Same, but instead of lunch, it was a holiday. Just dropped dead. I'm still pissed.
Widdershins66 12 months ago
Friend had the audacity to die so op hasn't spoken to them since 😏
Load More Replies... #57
She has an anxious attachment style and I am totally avoidant as much as I loved her it was horrible for both of us.
#58
He stopped being good about hanging out on mutual terms. I always had to come to him. He never even wanted to meet halfway when it worked with his schedule. So we had no face to face tine
Then, he got weird on facebook. Everything was deranged rants about conspiracies and hating Trump. Not run of the mill stuff where somebody is blowing off steam where I could just agree or ignore it like a typical political post, true conspiracy stuff.
So, we had no personal interaction and no online interaction. There wasn't anything to maintain even if I continued to try.
#59
I stopped texting first.
Kkg 12 months ago
It's happening to me right now. I had a friend, she was my maid of honor, we live far from each other, but used to text, visit when I came back home. At some point I realized, I'm the only one texting, calling, visiting. It's been 2 years and she hasn't reached out. Up till recently I still had hope that she will make the effort. Now I gave up.
#60
Stopped reading/answering my messages for MONTHS, more than once, for years.
I don't require constant communication and I've had a lot of patience over this as I know she's going through some s**t but I feel like I can't trust her anymore, what friendship it is if you can't even hold a conversation?
#61
We were friends
We decided we wanted more.
He decided out of the blue after we just started to fall in love he just wanted to be friends.
He was my Best friend. I was devastated
I needed sometime to process that.
He said let’s take a few days.
We went no contact. I thought it would be like 2/3 days he ghosted me for half a year. Then popped up in my life and our friends lives like nothing had happened.
We made plans to have a chat on a Friday.
I never heard from him again.
I don’t ever think I’ll ever find a friend like that who made me feel so comfortable in my own skin ever again.
I still am in disbelief that I lost my love and my bff in one breath.
Beth H 12 months ago
I disagree. I think perhaps he either likes her too much and is afraid. He shows up, sees her and disappears again? OR he could be a complete psycho. Or he’s struggling with his sexuality and is embarrassed. Who knows. Being a friend is a daily choice. This doesn’t mean they were never friends.
Load More Replies...
Yayaberry 12 months ago
Same kind of thing happened to me. We were supposed to have a conversation about our feelings for each other, moving from friendship to more… he kept putting it off. Like six months later, I see pictures of his wedding online. He met someone on vacation propose to her and married her in six months time then popped back up into my life and our friends lives like nothing happened. I’ve seen him a few times since then and believe it or not he’s tried to flirt.
Ace 12 months ago
Yeah I think you read the situation wrong. Alternative viewpoint: He never wanted it to be more than friends, you allowed yourself to believe that he did, overshared, got clingy and forced him to push you away.
*raspberry sound 12 months ago
Must be exhausting, jumping to conclusions like that.
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#62
I texted asking him to not tell me my deceased mom can hear me sing, she's watching me, etc anymore cause I'm not religious and when his family was doing it in person I didn't like it. He texts me sure but the next time we hangout he gets crazy drunk like always and starts screaming that he'll say whatever he wants cause that's what he believes.
Ozymandias 12 months ago
Yeah, if he doesn't respect your personal beliefs, even if they're with good intentions, that's a pretty big red flag
#63
Because we had a more-than-friends relationship but when she entered an actual relationship, she didn't want her feelings for me to seep and ruin her relationship with her actual partner. I don't know if that's a normal thing. All I know is that it was the most emotionally devastating pain I've ever felt and I honestly don't know if I will ever fully get over it.
Susical 12 months ago
I wish healing for OP. I also cannot handle being FWB (Friends With Benefits). When I tried it, my friend could separate the sex from any romantic feelings - but I could not & fell in love. Something about that situation is so awful. I think it's because you fell for them even though you KNEW it wasn't a "real" relationship. So now you're heartbroken AND you feel stupid.
#64
She moved to another city and had a new life. New friends, new boyfriend. I noticed she stopped messaging me or taking a long long time to reply to my messages. I tried to reach out but received this kind of cold detachment every single time. It broke my heart. So I also stopped reaching out.
#65
She did something illegal so I ended the friendship, because I couldn’t deal with it emotionally.
#66
Monopoly. No joke.
Janissary35680 12 months ago
Also violence. See https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Monopoly_on_violence
Load More Replies... ZuriLovesYou 12 months ago
I'm guessing you've never played monopoly before. That shìt is intense.
Load More Replies... What do you think ?
Diolla 12 months ago
When I was a student me and my BFF did almost everything together. Study, eat, go out, etc.. Then she got into an abusive relationship. BOTH sides, they fought a lot (physically as well), would break up, reconcile, etc.. Lots of drama, I even hid her from him sometimes. I am very level headed and hate violence, did not like her BF AT ALL and she knew it. But hey, her choice, if this is her choice, so be it. Eventually they broke up and she kept harassing and teasing him. One night she went too far. I kept telling her to stop it but no. He attacked her and started beating her up. I intervened, he was about 50 cm taller than she was, so not a fair fight. Then he turned on me and started beating ME up. She did not get hurt, I did. She just stood there. OK, maybe shock. In the next few days I did not hear from her. Eventually went to see her. And she said: 'why did he beat YOU up, are you together behind my back?' Ended our friendship right then and there.
V 12 months ago
I got sick of the pain Olympics. Both our kids were going through health issues, admittedly her kids problems were more severe than our kids, but after being a shoulder to cry on for her for months while her kid was getting all the diagnoses and treatment plans sorted just a little bit of solidarity would have been nice. But everytime I mentioned our kids health problems I just got met with something like "they'll be fine" or "there's nothing wrong with your kid" or "but my kid has that but worse".
Gina Price 12 months ago
Nothing wrong with needing some support in return. It should be a two way street, but seldom seems to be that way.
Load More Replies...
Beak Hookage 12 months ago
I don't know if we were "best" friends but I cut him off because he kept trying to get into my pants despite being repeatedly told no.
Susical 12 months ago
Omg, I know right! As a straight/cis woman, I've almost given up on friendships with straight men because of this. It's flattering to be asked once. ONCE. Then dude, respect boundaries.
Load More Replies...
Clare Moore 12 months ago
Kinda similar for me but in reverse. My bestie split with her abusive ex, I helped her escape, stuck with her through it all. Stopped her committing suicide. Did everything but wipe her a**e for her and her son who was 15 at the time. Got her back out and living her life again. Fast forward a few years and it's my 50th birthday party. She wouldn't come because she had a coil fitted 3 days prior, and it would take her 8 weeks to recover. I was sick of her bull poop excuses. For the entirety of 2024 she had said no whenever I tried to arrange stuff. I work, she does not. We both have a chronic pain condition. She barely gets out of bed each day, takes codeine from her mum, and just wallows in self pity telling the world how hard it is for her. I called her out. She blocked me. Lost my dad last week. She knew him. Saw my daughters post on FB and then blocked her too. 20 years of friendship. I'm done lol. There's more incidents that are much worse and sinister. Maybe I'll post one day.
Susical 12 months ago
Clare, I'm sorry about your friend. And I'm really sorry about your dad. Take care of yourself.
Load More Replies...
Leah Woodard 12 months ago (edited)
He messaged me, saying he had a gun and was going to kill himself. I spent hours talking to him and trying to find his wife/kids and calling the cops for a wellness check, when he stopped responding (they weren't there). 14 hours later, he contacted me. They were on vacation, he was drunk and had a fight with his wife. He said he contacted me because he knew my husband had committed suicide and thought I'd understand. He insisted it wasn't real and refused to talk about it, at all. His wife told me he used the threat against her EVERY TIME THEY FOUGHT. I could never decide if it was abuse or sincere, but it was too much to ask.
Ozymandias 12 months ago
My "friend" punched me in the nose when I told her she couldn't copy my homework anymore (this was in the 3rd grade, but we were friends since preschool)
Michael Largey 12 months ago
As actor David Niven said of his pal Errol Flynn, "As a friend, Errol was absolutely reliable. He would always let you down."
GalPalAl 12 months ago
Learned the hard way many times over that people don't think of friendship the way I do. Hard to find true friends. Have let go of many dysfunctional people after realizing I was being used, abused and lied to. Don't look back and don't keep s****y friends around even for payback.
Carl Roberts 12 months ago (edited)
Best friend of 30 years. A few years ago, I asked to use his phone (needed to call my wife, and I had no signal). He forgot to clear his screen before handing me his phone. He was looking at explicit nude pictures of children . I tossed his phone in a port-a potty (we were at a park) and never spoke to him again. I found out he recently got diagnosed with cancer. Good, f*** him.
Michael Largey 12 months ago
Might have been better to take that phone to the cops, but I think we all understand your immediate reaction.
Load More Replies...
Littlemiss 12 months ago
Had a person who I thought was a friend. She fell on hard times, turned out it was all a lie and she was actually just scamming people for money. She asked for loans, we said we'd help her because we're we able to at that time. $3,500 later it was never enough. Discovered was making up huge lies to get more money from anyone she could scam. We were on the bones of butt struggling by then, she destroyed her own life and has moved onto new targets.
Diolla 12 months ago
When I was a student me and my BFF did almost everything together. Study, eat, go out, etc.. Then she got into an abusive relationship. BOTH sides, they fought a lot (physically as well), would break up, reconcile, etc.. Lots of drama, I even hid her from him sometimes. I am very level headed and hate violence, did not like her BF AT ALL and she knew it. But hey, her choice, if this is her choice, so be it. Eventually they broke up and she kept harassing and teasing him. One night she went too far. I kept telling her to stop it but no. He attacked her and started beating her up. I intervened, he was about 50 cm taller than she was, so not a fair fight. Then he turned on me and started beating ME up. She did not get hurt, I did. She just stood there. OK, maybe shock. In the next few days I did not hear from her. Eventually went to see her. And she said: 'why did he beat YOU up, are you together behind my back?' Ended our friendship right then and there.
V 12 months ago
I got sick of the pain Olympics. Both our kids were going through health issues, admittedly her kids problems were more severe than our kids, but after being a shoulder to cry on for her for months while her kid was getting all the diagnoses and treatment plans sorted just a little bit of solidarity would have been nice. But everytime I mentioned our kids health problems I just got met with something like "they'll be fine" or "there's nothing wrong with your kid" or "but my kid has that but worse".
Gina Price 12 months ago
Nothing wrong with needing some support in return. It should be a two way street, but seldom seems to be that way.
Load More Replies... Beak Hookage 12 months ago
I don't know if we were "best" friends but I cut him off because he kept trying to get into my pants despite being repeatedly told no.
Susical 12 months ago
Omg, I know right! As a straight/cis woman, I've almost given up on friendships with straight men because of this. It's flattering to be asked once. ONCE. Then dude, respect boundaries.
Load More Replies... Clare Moore 12 months ago
Kinda similar for me but in reverse. My bestie split with her abusive ex, I helped her escape, stuck with her through it all. Stopped her committing suicide. Did everything but wipe her a**e for her and her son who was 15 at the time. Got her back out and living her life again. Fast forward a few years and it's my 50th birthday party. She wouldn't come because she had a coil fitted 3 days prior, and it would take her 8 weeks to recover. I was sick of her bull poop excuses. For the entirety of 2024 she had said no whenever I tried to arrange stuff. I work, she does not. We both have a chronic pain condition. She barely gets out of bed each day, takes codeine from her mum, and just wallows in self pity telling the world how hard it is for her. I called her out. She blocked me. Lost my dad last week. She knew him. Saw my daughters post on FB and then blocked her too. 20 years of friendship. I'm done lol. There's more incidents that are much worse and sinister. Maybe I'll post one day.
Susical 12 months ago
Clare, I'm sorry about your friend. And I'm really sorry about your dad. Take care of yourself.
Load More Replies... Leah Woodard 12 months ago (edited)
He messaged me, saying he had a gun and was going to kill himself. I spent hours talking to him and trying to find his wife/kids and calling the cops for a wellness check, when he stopped responding (they weren't there). 14 hours later, he contacted me. They were on vacation, he was drunk and had a fight with his wife. He said he contacted me because he knew my husband had committed suicide and thought I'd understand. He insisted it wasn't real and refused to talk about it, at all. His wife told me he used the threat against her EVERY TIME THEY FOUGHT. I could never decide if it was abuse or sincere, but it was too much to ask.
Ozymandias 12 months ago
My "friend" punched me in the nose when I told her she couldn't copy my homework anymore (this was in the 3rd grade, but we were friends since preschool)
Michael Largey 12 months ago
As actor David Niven said of his pal Errol Flynn, "As a friend, Errol was absolutely reliable. He would always let you down."
GalPalAl 12 months ago
Learned the hard way many times over that people don't think of friendship the way I do. Hard to find true friends. Have let go of many dysfunctional people after realizing I was being used, abused and lied to. Don't look back and don't keep s****y friends around even for payback.
Carl Roberts 12 months ago (edited)
Best friend of 30 years. A few years ago, I asked to use his phone (needed to call my wife, and I had no signal). He forgot to clear his screen before handing me his phone. He was looking at explicit nude pictures of children . I tossed his phone in a port-a potty (we were at a park) and never spoke to him again. I found out he recently got diagnosed with cancer. Good, f*** him.
Michael Largey 12 months ago
Might have been better to take that phone to the cops, but I think we all understand your immediate reaction.
Load More Replies... Littlemiss 12 months ago
Had a person who I thought was a friend. She fell on hard times, turned out it was all a lie and she was actually just scamming people for money. She asked for loans, we said we'd help her because we're we able to at that time. $3,500 later it was never enough. Discovered was making up huge lies to get more money from anyone she could scam. We were on the bones of butt struggling by then, she destroyed her own life and has moved onto new targets.
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