Back in my first year of college, I used to have a group of friends (like 7 dudes with me included). We always hang out together and we're used to have this "group chat" where we discuss about anything from class subjects to random things. After a year, I noticed that one of the guys (let's just call him Randy) keeps getting excluded; Not invited/informed to group hangout while they're talking smack behind his back. And the "unofficial leader" of the group actually made a whole new group chat, inviting everyone (myself included) except Randy without his knowledge.

I know what it feels to be left out, I experienced that in Middle school and it's really awful. I stopped hanging out with them and I starts hanging out with Randy. He's quite eccentric but a very good person at heart. We've been friends for more than 6 years, and he still got my back

DarrenAShah , Min An Report

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DennyS (denzoren)

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"Quite eccentric but a very good person at heart" are 90% of the time very cool people to hang out with.

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When you decide to let them be the one to reach out. And you never hear from them again.

plzdontgetmad , Liza Summer Report

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David

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they might not be 'fake'. They might be introverts. I rarely reach out except to a couple of very close friends. I always think things like - maybe they are busy - I don't know when is a good time to call. I have started to try to be more proactive with a couple of other friends but it does not come naturally for me even though I'm glad when they reach out to me.

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I had been giving rides to a girl I thought was my friend. To and from school in high school. She wasn’t really suppose to ride with other teens but due to her mothers work hours we could easily pull this off. I thought we were close.

One day while on the way home my brakes went out. We were about 2 blocks from her gated neighborhood. I managed to roll in safely and parked at her house to call a tow truck.

She flipped. Told me I couldn’t stay. She knew my brakes were not working as she had also been terrified when we couldn’t stop. She said she wanted to go to a movie that weekend with other friends and her mom would ground her if she saw me at the house. I offered to lie and say I only stopped there as my car malfunctioned on my way home. I *had* to pass her neighborhood on my way home anyways.

She refused. Started to scream at me. She didn’t care what happened I had to go. Started to call the guard at the front gate to tell them I had broken in and was threatening her.

I left her and that friendship that moment. I managed to roll my car slowly to a mechanic not too far away but never forgot the s**t feeling of knowing I could have been seriously hurt and she wouldn’t have cared. She wanted to see a movie. She had the nerve to sheepishly call and ask me a couple days later if I could give her a ride to school. Told her I was too busy and no longer had time… after all I wanted to help her obey her moms rules. She rode the bus til she graduated.

Duffarum , Anastasiia Chaikovska Report

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Fluffy mommy panda

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What an awful person. And had the guts to call and ask for a ride to school after that. Some people.

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I had this friend in school. Each year there was a funfair in our city, all students received vouchers for a drink and something to eat. This friend complained the whole day that she had no one to accompany her to the funfair. So, stupid me offered to go with her.

Once we arrived we met another friend of hers. And another, and another... until we were a group of 5 or 6 people. I didn't know anyone and was basically just walking behind them. This friend took me aside and said, "My friends think you are annoying, and we would like you to leave."

It was a pleasure to see that she failed her exams a year later.

Auldale , nappy Report

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Roger9er

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An illusion poorer, and an experience richer.

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Him and his girlfriend asked if they could spend Christmas Day with me, my husband and our children because otherwise they’d be at home alone all day with only junk food to eat (neither of them could cook)

I organised transport over and home again after (neither of them could drive either) I cooked us all a full Christmas dinner. I organised fun games and activities so it wouldn’t be boring.

My friend and his girlfriend didn’t offer to help with anything, not cooking, not serving, not cleaning up, and not paying. They wouldn’t play the games and weren’t interested in the activities. They just wanted to sit on the sofa and eat. Then came the complaining…

They complained because we had Pepsi instead of Coke.

They complained that we had semi-skimmed milk instead of full fat.

They complained that my husband wouldn’t play video games with them (he was busy with the kids while I cooked)

They complained that there wasn’t mashed potatoes as well as roast potatoes.

They complained because they wanted different vegetables from the ones I was serving.

They didn’t thank us for anything. Needless to say I was glad when they went home. Friendship didn’t survive long after that.

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Hanako-Kun 花子くん

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Who raised them!? *They* ask to come over to the ops house then complain?? Op and their family was kind enough to let them over and they didn't even get a thank you 😡

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When I got back (to the US) from a trip to South America, I had $7 to my name. The next morning a 'friend' asked me to go to breakfast, so I could tell him about my trip. I said I didn't have any money and couldn't afford it. However, he said that's ok and off we went. When we arrived at the breakfast joint and the server came over to get our order, my 'friend' pointed at me and said "he isn't getting anything".

jdallett , cottonbro studio Report

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DennyS (denzoren)

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That's not your friend.

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Finding out they have an inner-circle group chat but I'm the only one not in it.

Postlyy , fauxels Report

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Hanako-Kun 花子くん

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Yup this has happened to me before🙁

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When I finally opened up about what was really going on in my life, and she said that it was all too much for her to hear about. She straight up never called me back. We used to be best friends.

ProfessionalWolf9985 , RDNE Stock project Report

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Hard as pumpuli

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My ex- ”best friend” did not invite me to her wedding, quote ”you are not part of my ”intact friend circle”, what ever that was. I should have seen it coming. Everything was always about her. I listened, never the other way around.

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When I got really sick. Very few came to help.

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Katie Lutesinger

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People show their true colours when you lose your money or your health. For better or worse.

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Her response to finding out my husband had been cheating on me was to say to me “oh yeah, I definitely could have slept with him if I wanted to”

hereforthenow , Odonata Wellnesscenter Report

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MiriPanda

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Wait, that sounds like he made advances at her which she rejected? So the friend just confirmed that the ex was a cheater?

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It was several "friends." I realised that their idea of fun was to just constantly insult me. Not playful "roasting", full on constant insults.

Ulfgeirr88 , Elle Hughes Report

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Cathelijne Van

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I hate it when people do this and I don't tolerate this around me

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At lunch, she was sitting with her boyfriend, I was sitting with our friend circle. She came up to me, guilted me into sitting with her and her boyfriend, and then proceeded to ignore me for the rest of lunch.

She didn't care about me, she just didn't want me talking to the friend circle that she had abandoned for her boyfriend. When I pointed this out to her, she called me a jealous b***h.

Ah, high school. How I don't miss thee.

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DennyS (denzoren)

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We all had some crappy choices in high school lol

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When plans with me became tentative should something better with someone else come up. That s**t hurts.

aspha7t , Mati Mango Report

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Mabelbabel

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I had an ex that I'd occasionally meet up with, and over coffee one day, he told me his latest girlfriend had dumped him and he didn't know why. She'd got upset because he'd told her to keep Saturday night free because there was a 60% chance he'd be able to see her-basically, he'd see her if nothing better came along. He had done this all the time to me-he had his priorities, and I was way down the list. Plans made with me were completely flexible and non-fixed, and I was expected to hang around and wait, and then fill in at short notice if his other, more important plans fell through. 20 years later, he was still doing it and wondering why he was single in his 50s. I'd told him at the time we split that his behaviour was a big part of the split, but he seemed genuinely incapable of accepting it was unreasonable. Don't make someone your whole focus if you're just an option to them.

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When he only called me when he needed something. It didn't hit me until much later.

Queasy-Location-9303 , Lisa Fotios Report

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DennyS (denzoren)

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I've had this happen before, it sucks but the earlier you recognize it the better.

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Riding in my best friend’s car, in our early 20s, telling her about how my relationship with my mother was becoming so toxic and crumbling before my eyes- she interrupted me to ask that I be quiet during her favorite part of the song that was on the radio. When that part was finished, she told me I could resume my story. I was pouring my heart out. I was young and devastated, and even then I knew that was a really messed up thing to do and it instantly changed the way I viewed her as a friend. We were going on seven years of close friendship, and it was finished in that one car ride.

reallytiredteacher , Wendy Wei Report

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DennyS (denzoren)

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I can't imagine how devastating that felt.

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When I was r**ed my friends all disappeared. The guy who r**ed me wasn’t even in our friend circle and went to jail for another crime. It wasn’t he said she said it was very obviously r**e. I lost all of my friends and when I confronted a couple of them after going to therapy they said “we believed you we just didn’t want to deal with the DRAMA” I had never even talked about the r**e with them I was just less entertaining when we hung out because I was traumatized. These are people who I let stay at my house whenever, I had a good job so I bought them things, I was always the driver and always the person they would turn to when they needed something. It was a hard lesson to learn at 16 and I didn’t actually learn it then, I just internalized it and believed I was overreacting and I had done something wrong. I still believe the best in everyone but man, that belief gets shaken quite a lot. Now I’m friends with my husband and kids and don’t bother with anyone else.

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BrownTabby

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BP, do you have ANY idea how disrespectful it is to censor the word “rāpe” IN A POST BY A RĀPE VICTIM?!

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When he stole my checkbook, forged my signature and took money out of my account. This was after I let him live with me and my family for two years after his parents kicked him out in high school

Human-Magic-Marker , Pixabay Report

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David

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I would totally report that.

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Anytime I had good news, she'd find an INSTANT way to downplay it.

"I got the job!" (Ha! You're excited about *that* hourly???)

"My crush just texted me about hanging out!" (Right. Like *you* have money to do cool s**t.)

"The gym is working -- I'm down 8 lbs!" (It's water weight, sweetie, chill.)

Literally nothing that made me happy could come outta my mouth and be celebrated in kind. This was someone I grew up thinking was "so cool," but only made me feel like s**t to be around. I finally broke away and it pissed her off so bad, she actively spilled my secrets and "tea" to folks who had no business knowing that much stuff about me.

Oh well.

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Papa

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Sadly, when some people aren't happy they want the people around them to be unhappy also. It makes them feel better.

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When I was babysitting her kids things were going great. We would hangout all the time...have movie nights and just talk and chill. But the second she no longer needed a babysitter was the second I got kicked to the curb. No explanation...not even a text back. Some people will act like your best friend until they no longer need you. Their loss though.

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Nice Beast Ludo

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Those people will never have real friends in their life

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When she tried to poison me with drano, she was moving away the next day hoping she would not get caught, she was just way too insistent I eat lunch she made, tipped me off.

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Katie Lutesinger

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...holy s**t. We somehow went from accounts of "friends" acting like ungrateful, bullying jerks to *attempted murder*. I sincerely hope this psycho didn't go on to actually kill someone, because if they try it once they're going to try it again.

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When they loved the idea of me shining, but behind their shadow, I could never do or achieve anything above them, and when I did, they would get jealous.

Jasssin23 , Budgeron Bach Report

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David

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that is sad. in a friendship and especially a romantic relationship I prefer it if the other person does better / is richer / whatever. It frequently means they have more self confidence and financial independence which in turn means they are more likely to be my friend for the right reasons rather than because they "need" me.

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When the only time we hung out is when I initiated making plans.

Ijuswannareadposts , Afta Putta Gunawan Report

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Aroace tiger (she/they/he)

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I mean I'm bad at asking people to do things .. and planning

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Friend “A” warned me that Friend “B” was openly disrespectful, even hostile when speaking of me when I wasn’t around. They got into an argument. Friend B sent me screenshots of their conversation to get me on their side but there seemed to be whole sentences missing. When I asked for clarification, they called me dumb. Friend A showed me all the missing messages where they called me much worse than just “dumb”. Friend B lost two great friends for good after that.

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Trainingfortheballetpotteh🇺🇦

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Friend A was a good friend for telling you the truth!

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After 20 years of friendship with a woman I once knew well, I went through a divorce.

She almost immediately stopped speaking to me, left her husband of 25 years and moved out, *and made a run for my soon-to-be ex-husband*

My soon-to-be ex wanted nothing to do with her romantically and flatly rejected her advances. She eventually crawled back to her husband, where she is today

As I later found out, her 3 siblings had sat her down for an intervention, asking her what the hell she was thinking for hurting her nice husband and her good friend (me) - and for potentially ruining her childhood friendship with my ex, as their families were old friends in this city and went way back. She pretended not to know what they were talking about and carried on with her plan

At the time I was blindsided; alternately crushed - and PISSED - at her betrayal and for her decades-long false friendship with me. The realization that she wasthisclosetome for 2 decades just to be close to my husband(!!!) is still mind bending, 7 years later

But I have to laugh at the social embarrassment she brought upon herself and her current state-of-misery

My now-ex is remarried and I am dating. He and I co-parent and get along very well, and our kids are loved by us all. His friendship with her is no longer

She has eaten herself into a ball that is almost as wide as she is tall. *You reap what you m***********g sow*

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Sarah Kathrin Matsoukis

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Shame her husband took her back.

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Talking behind my back about private stuff.

ray458 , Athena Report

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Jill Bussey

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My MIL did this; talking with random people who then tried to talk to me about it. Like, how did they know this stuff?

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I had one friend go and tell my boss I was job hunting.

Had a few steal from me.

Had one blame me when she stole something.

I've had quite a few deliberately trigger my trauma to the point where I stopped telling people about it.

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Blue Morpho Butterfly

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11 months ago

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I'm sorry, it sounds like lots of your friends have sadly turned out to be a******s☹️

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Constantly “one ups” me. A real friend is happy for you.

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DennyS (denzoren)

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I know someone like this, it's the absolute worse having a conversation with them about anything.

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ALL she talks about it herself and her problems. Granted she has a a lot but never asks about me or my life until she realizes she just bypassed my attempt to want to talk about something in my life bothering me and continued to talk about herself.

PokemomOnTheGo , August de Richelieu Report

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Katie Lutesinger

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I had a "friend" who was like that. I'm a naturally empathetic person so I was prepared to listen and offer suggestions on how to deal with his problems, but he had no interest whatsoever in taking my advice or indeed doing anything about said problems other than complain. Eventually I realised he was just a whiny self-pitying toxic a*****e.

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When he would only take and never even offer to give back. Always with the "I left my money at home, but ill totally pay you back." Never paid anything back, ever. Other friends and I would call him out on it but there was always an excuse. Eventually he screwed over another mate at a gig they went to (only thing he paid for was a drink, had another mate even pay for his ticket in with some BS reason), so we all collectively decided we don't need or want him around anyway.

He's barely made an attempt to keep in touch in 10 years and we certainly haven't.

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When they didn't remember our conversations and just talked for the sake of talking

Real_Willingness1004 , RDNE Stock project Report

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Epsilon

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Some people just have bad memories. It's not their fault.

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