From time to time, we all think of how unfair the world is and how much we’d like to remove all the suffering there is. The truth is, we cannot do that and we have to find ways to live in these difficult times, with all the ups and downs.
Or we can do the opposite and embrace the sadness and despair. We can look into the eyes of whatever it is that causes us pain and stand strong. In fact, there’s this whole corner of Reddit titled “Make Me Suffer” that does exactly that.
The group which is home to a whopping 1.1M members is dedicated to sharing pictures that capture anything from wholesome suffering to sad moments of reality. Scroll down through this new batch of “Make Me Suffer” examples below and be sure to check out Bored Panda’s previous feature with more pictures from the community.
Meanwhile, to find out more about our inner fascination with dark material such as serial killers to violence to disasters, we reached out to Helen Marlo, a licensed clinical psychologist and Jungian psychoanalyst who provides psychotherapy, psychoanalysis, and consultation. Helen is also a Professor of Clinical Psychology and the Department Chair at Notre Dame de Namur University. She was happy to share some very interesting insights into this compelling topic.
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“First, most of us are painfully aware that darkness, what some call evil, exists. We may satisfy some human, psychological needs when we engage with it through the news, movies, or documentaries,” Marlo said.
Marlo argues that “when watching another story, and in particular, these dark and traumatic stories, we witness another person’s narrative. Narrating one’s own story, especially if we have a story that includes trauma, is emotional and hard.”
Meanwhile, “watching another’s story can give us a sense of gaining understanding or relief for ‘free,’ because we are hearing about another’s story but not doing any of the hard, psychological work to create our own story.”
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Marlo explained that “it is a little like someone who reads a self-help book and imagines they will get better by reading about another person’s process. This is especially true if the story that we are fixated on has personal or traumatic meaning for us.”
Moreover, becoming immersed in another’s dark story can be a vicarious version of what psychologists call, ‘identification with the aggressor.’ “Rather than being the victim, one identifies with the aggressor and their story, and can displace unthinkable, dark impulses onto the person they are viewing, who may be doing things they may not be able to think about but wish to do.”
Marlo explained that “they may also feel more powerful, safer, strong, dominant, and in control by viewing another doing unthinkable things but they are watching and don’t have to act it out in their real life where it would have negative consequences internally and externally.”
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The Jungian psychoanalyst argues that “by watching about another’s story, we may gain a sense of control, understanding, or vicarious mastery over our own aggressive fantasies and anxieties about evil, whether we imagine ourselves in the role of the perpetrator and/or victim.”
This could explain Netflix’s hugely popular docuseries “Dahmer – Monster: The Jeffrey Dahmer Story” (2022). Arlo argues that the Jeffrey Dahmer story, for example, gives us at least one version of a real-life story of a serial killer.
“We may feel as if we have a better understanding of senseless violence and the irrationalities of evil by becoming immersed in learning about one person’s story. His story is a mixture of elements—some common and some uncommon—which enables us to compare and contrast this story with our own life story and our own fears, wishes, and/or fantasies.”
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But how can we explain our fascination with this kind of raw, violent, and unpleasant material? Well, Marlo says we can look for answers in the psychological mechanism of displacement.
“We all can feel some sense of vulnerability in knowing we could be the target of random violence or evil. We may feel a fascination and some voyeuristic pleasure in seeing another’s story and hearing how it happened to someone else. I am not suggesting that many of us wish harm on another person or even get sadistic pleasure in others’ suffering, although some people do.”
The Jungian psychoanalyst continued: “Rather, knowing that humans can hurt and inflict suffering on one another, and that irrational and uncontrollable things happen, becoming engrossed in another’s dark misfortune can help us feel less vulnerable and find some relief.”
Every Gun Is Loaded And Every Pot Handle Is Hot
Did your hand get stuck to it or are you just a ridiculously fast blisterer?
This is two days after the burn, according to the OP.
Load More Replies...I had something similar happen except that it didn't burn so much of my hand. I gave myself a second degree burn on my left hand ring finger by grabbing a pot handle because the pot was about to fall off the counter. I know I should have just let it fall but instinct was to reach out to try to stop it. Don't do what I did. You'll end up in the ER at 3 AM getting lidocaine injections and a tetanus shot too.
Sounds excruciating. I could say that I wouldn't do it, but I would probably do the same thing and try to catch it. It's just your body's reaction without thought...
Load More Replies...This happened to me when I worked at cracker barrel. A girl had a biscuit tray and I had a rag in my hand with no intention of taking it from her (I was doing some thing else) next thing I know she shoves it at me and I, without realizing it, grab it. The underside part of my thumb blisterwd up so big a penny could have had room to twirl around in it. Pain. Full. I Was so mad. Yeah I did not have too take it but why did she shove it at me? I had 2 glasses in the other hand and a rag in that hand obviously I was doing other things.
There would be no way in hell I would be able to retain the urge.....
its a miricle i have no blisters cuz all i would do is pop them and destroy my hand
The exact same thing happened to me when I worked in a hotel. The bloody handle was red hot and nobody told me. I blistered straight away. It was like a golf ball and I was in agony
With that bad of a burn definitely go to the doctor. They have special ointments for burns to spied healing, and can prescribe appropriate pain management. Hand burns hurt terribly.
I worked in a kitchen with an "experienced person" we were closing down for the night. I was shutting down the kitchen he was in dish. I brought in the baskets from the fryer and put them on ledge by the sink. Kid grabbed them by the basket not the rubber handles, which incidentally was the side I left out for him. He proceeded to come into the kitchen and scream at me for injuring himself. I just stared at him dumbstruck for many reasons. A - we're closing a kitchen you know those are hot b- are you screaming at a woman on camera? C- first rule of the kitchen assume everything is hot or sharp
OMG. Thank goodness I don't cook much so I've never had this happen, lol. I don't think I've ever experienced a hot handle, seems RIDICULOUS a company would even manufacture a handle that would get that hot!
To be honest, I've done it. Totally not thinking and grabbed a cast iron skillet out of the oven (where I left it unintentionally) that was preheating to 450°
Poor baby! I put my hand on a baking sheet after it just came from a 450° oven for like 1 second and it hurt so bad. I can only imagine how much pain this caused.
I did this to both hands. I was super tired and forgot the oven mitts when removing a pot roast out of the oven. I knew it as soon as I had the pan in the air. It was my favorite Pyrex baking dish, I made it to the counter and cooling rack without dropping it. It took a couple of weeks to heal after all the skin came off. Luckily I heal very quickly.
I feel him I did this over the summer peeling the skin off is my fav part
And on the other hand the weird part of me wants to pop the bubble looking thing...
Load More Replies...This is where aloe vera, cold water, and lavender oil would come in handy. I cannot understate the impact of running my hand under cold water to reduce swelling and pain, aloe vera to treat the burn, and lavender oil for pain relief and preventing even the remotest possibility of infection when I’ve burned my hand on a hot pot or tea kettle!!
Dollars to donuts it was cast iron on the stove. That fooled me one time too. I dropped it and it shattered and chipped the floor tiles.
When my daughter, was about 21. We were heating up oil to fry french fries. The dummy, stuck here finger in the hot oil to see if it was hot! Yes, it was!
i picked up a pot and found that it was too hot, but by the time I realized, the choice was to drop it (and possibly spill boiling water on myself) or hold on long enough to get it to the sink. I chose the latter. Resulted in a decent, single blister, instead of burns all over my legs
Aloe all day and all night. I even put filleted pieces over blistering burns and bandage them in place overnight!
I feel so bad for this person. I was cleaning my stove after cooking one night. I didn't wait for the stove to cool down and I started to have a seizure. I guess I put the palm of my hand on a burner and the next thing I remember is a paramedic sitting next to me holding my hand. I guess I passed out after that because the next time I woke up I was in the hospital. It took a while to heal after scrubbing the dead skin off of my hand .
Doubt it. You don’t for second-degree burns unless it gets infected.
Load More Replies...No, it's saying that you should always assume every gun is loaded, and every pan handle is hot. He got burned by a hot pan handle.
Load More Replies...Second degree burn from a pot handle he didn’t know was hot
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Surprisingly, watching such stories may, actually, increase our empathy for others’ suffering. “In the story, we might imagine this misfortune came from natural consequences, poor choices, genetics, karma, bad luck, or the fickle finger of fate. And becoming fascinated by another’s story may help us feel, irrationally, that we can protect ourselves from it; or are inoculated from it and/or that we can learn from it and escape this misfortune.” So in the end, it likely has a completely opposite effect than the material itself.
Another explanation for our fascination with the dark side of life can be found in a basic law of psychic behavior known as “compensation,” Marlo told us. “This is especially true when we are surprised by someone that we may not think would be utterly fascinated by stories of dark news. The law of compensation posits that when one attitude and approach to life is overdeveloped in consciousness, then a corresponding compensation emerges from the unconscious to help bring the psyche back into balance.”
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Marlo argues that “this other side compensates for thoughts, perceptions, and emotions which fail to reach consciousness because we may dissociate, repress, or defend against them in a variety of ways.”
She gave an example: “a pacifist may have flashes of violent imagery, thoughts, and dreams that they banish from awareness. These flashes can be their psyche’s way of raising their awareness about this other side of life, to gain more balance, and become more whole. The pacifist may become fascinated by these dark stories as a way of bringing some of the dark, aggressive, combative energy into their otherwise peaceful life as a pacifist.”
Marlo recounted how she had a patient who loved watching true crime. “In her professional work, she had to be very responsible, personable, kind, and empathic to many underserved people. Watching true crime helped her have an outlet from her otherwise kind and generous life spent serving other people.”
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And if you ever wondered if something’s wrong with you because you’re drawn to dark material, you’re not the only one and it can also be perfectly explained. Marlo argues that being human also means having dark impulses or undeveloped, “hurt part of ourselves that Jung called our Shadow.”
Marlo explained Jung’s theory of Shadow further: “We all have a shadow that expresses itself in moments of pain, stress, and unconsciousness. Typically, objects of fascination on crime shows or social media are people whose shadows are big; out there; exposed for our viewing.”
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Think of it as a public display of impulses that most of us usually keep inside and underground, Marlo argues. “It can be fascinating for us to see others’ shadows out there whether their shadow is familiar or foreign to our self. In addition, we stay fascinated with their story because it gives us an opportunity to see what happens when one lives out this dark side—something that some individuals could not even imagine let alone dream of doing.”
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My wife had to ask me if I was okay as I couldn't breath after reading this. I may have broken a rib laughing.
Load More Replies...Regarding the comments, I'm obviously not the only one feeling uncomfortable right now, so I‘d really like to know: What is your default sensation while looking at posts like this? For me it's always a tingling in my feet.
Idk, came straight to the comments to confirm I should NOT look at this list! 😅 (Tingling in feet is a flight response though, I think? Like you want to run away...)
Load More Replies...Who hurt you BoredPanda, who hurt you? This has to be one of the more disturbing things that has been posted on this site.
This post was a train wreck, on top of a car wreck on top of plane crash, you just couldn't look away. 🤦
I should not have read that. I'm still shuddering and trying not to puke.
Go ahead. I've already vomited so you won't be alone (it was the mold behind the fridge that did it for me).
Load More Replies...Nothing. Don't worry about it. Eat these chips, you don't need more trauma.
Load More Replies...Then throw it all outside and stomp on it, right? That's the next line, right??
Load More Replies...BP tricked us with showing the tamest pics on the main page & then showing us these horrors!
I made it to the end! It's time to go to bed now and my retinas have been burned and my brain is fried. I'm calling work, maybe it's not too late to take that overtime since sleep isn't happening.
My wife had to ask me if I was okay as I couldn't breath after reading this. I may have broken a rib laughing.
Load More Replies...Regarding the comments, I'm obviously not the only one feeling uncomfortable right now, so I‘d really like to know: What is your default sensation while looking at posts like this? For me it's always a tingling in my feet.
Idk, came straight to the comments to confirm I should NOT look at this list! 😅 (Tingling in feet is a flight response though, I think? Like you want to run away...)
Load More Replies...Who hurt you BoredPanda, who hurt you? This has to be one of the more disturbing things that has been posted on this site.
This post was a train wreck, on top of a car wreck on top of plane crash, you just couldn't look away. 🤦
I should not have read that. I'm still shuddering and trying not to puke.
Go ahead. I've already vomited so you won't be alone (it was the mold behind the fridge that did it for me).
Load More Replies...Nothing. Don't worry about it. Eat these chips, you don't need more trauma.
Load More Replies...Then throw it all outside and stomp on it, right? That's the next line, right??
Load More Replies...BP tricked us with showing the tamest pics on the main page & then showing us these horrors!
I made it to the end! It's time to go to bed now and my retinas have been burned and my brain is fried. I'm calling work, maybe it's not too late to take that overtime since sleep isn't happening.