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“Thought We Were Dirt Poor”: People Reveal The Moment It Hit Them They Were Actually Rich
While growing up, kids have a somewhat different perspective to the world than adults. The world around them is a little bigger and friendlier. The days are longer and more fun. Things are just easier.
So imagine growing up in a very wealthy family, where things were just handed to you without asking. While social class, wealth, and the ideas of capitalism may have been far from coming to your mind, making you question everything, the other kids may have noticed you live a little differently.
“People that had rich parents growing up. When did you realize you were rich?” someone asked on Ask Reddit, and people took it as an opportunity to share some honest memories about how it dawned upon them that they were born financially privileged. Below we wrapped up the most interesting ones.
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#1
When my dad's friend lost his job and lost his house in a divorce, my dad casually went out and bought him a new house, replaced his car and gave him a monthly "salary" for his friend to go and live his life on so he can remember that life can also be amazing.
It was also the time I realised my dad (and mum) are fu**ing incredible. Miss that man. He was one of the good ones to get lucky with money. The man wore the same jeans every day but bought his friend a house.
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#2
My parents were wealthy, but since they were good ol' Midwestern folks, they also wanted my siblings and me to work early and work hard. I got a job at 14 at a local sandwich shop and had a co-worker who was around the same age. I just assumed that she didn't need to work and was only doing it for the "character building" aspect like I was. I asked her what she was going to do with her first paycheck, assuming it would be something fun, and she told me she was going to give it to her parents because they were really struggling and needed help with the bills. I was shocked. I had never met someone who needed to help their parents with bills at only 14-15.
She was a really sweet girl. I hope she and her family are OK.
Bored Panda reached out to a person who grew up with wealthy parents as shared on this post in response to the AITA thread. In an honest interview, the Redditor who wished to stay anonymous told us that she definitely recognizes her privilege of growing up wealthy.
“I'd also say recognizing my privilege is one of the most critical aspects of my ability to use it well. I think some people get hung up on the word ‘privilege’ and fear it minimizes their own struggles,” the person explained. She added that her view of privilege is that it isn't about what she had to go through; “it's about what I didn't have to go through.”
#3
At around 19 my dad switched health insurance. I tried to have my prescription filled, but couldn't do it through the app I was using, so I called the pharmacy. Now this is the only negative interaction I have EVER had with a pharmacist, and I've had my life saved more than a handful of times by pharmacists, but the one I ended up on the phone with was a real condescending b***h. She told me that even though I had a prescription, I would have to wait a couple days for my insurance to cover my medication. I asked if I could just buy the medication, and she said no.
I ended the conversation in tears, and immediately told my dad what happened. At the time I was on an antipsychotic and a couple other psychiatric medications and if I quit those medications I would definitely have had an episode, and would likely have had to drop out of college and be hospitalized. My dad immediately called the pharmacy and ended up on the phone with the same pharmacist, and he told her that if we still had the prescription but no insurance, we should be able to buy the prescription with cash. She said "Yes, but it's 2000 dollars, so you wouldn't be able to afford it." My dad opened the filing cabinet next to him, flipped to a folder in the back, pulled out 10,000 dollars in 50's, separated out 2000 dollars, put the rest back in the folder and told her "We'll be there in 10 minutes."
That's the day I learned my dad has "f**k you" money.
Lisa McCourt 1 year ago
Good for your dad and you but the idea that any medicine that is essential for someone to function in their daily lives costs that much is ridiculous. This is not something that only a rich person can afford. Can I downvote the health system that allows this to happen??
#4
When my Dad's health became a concern, he sat me and my siblings down and showed us his will and how to get into the financial accounts should anything happen.
None us knew we would each inherit a sum where we wouldn't have to work again, if we didn't want to.
This man raised us to go without nothing so he could give us everything. Thanks, Dad.
Jo Slatermill 1 year ago (edited)
I'll be the devils advocate here. cuz I've seen this in real life more then once : It could easily go the other way, where the rich dad will live a long life keeping his money, and the kids will struggle, "waste" their adulthood life working their asses off, having financial troubles, and not get to share the wealth that was saved for them the whole time. not that anyone owe anyone something.
Growing up rich didn't mean it was all handed easily to the Redditor. “I was a hard worker. I got my first job at 14 and even back then, my parents required me to cover the costs of all clothing, accessories, and entertainment,” she recounted.
She was also second in her class. “I got a scholarship that covered the entirety of my undergraduate tuition and gave me some discretional funds each semester as well. I worked three part-time jobs to earn additional income and gain work experience. (As an aside, one of those jobs was one that I got largely due to the connections I had, as it was in a physician's private practice and I attended the same private school as his son.)”
#5
When I got bullied in school for it. It was a private catholic school where the same families for generations lived in the same neighborhood since forever- money and anything really that they didn’t have themselves was the devil. The priest made classroom visits each week to talk about that weeks scripture and would ask us questions. My first day he actually asked the class to raise their hands if they lived in a big house. (I was brand new at the time and I didn’t and still don’t like attention on me) so even though we lived in a rather large house I didn’t raise my hand. Because what the f**k. Well that s**t head priest, the teachers and principal and even the parents had big gossipy judgmental mouths and they somehow knew on my very first day my families situation. He walked over to my desk and asked me “are you sure?” Because my hand obviously wasn’t raised because who the f**k asks a classroom that question and at the time I didn’t see my house as big anyways, just as “home”. I said “yes I’m sure” and he said “lying is a sin” and walked away. I was mortified. that’s just the first thing that happened and I was relentlessly bullied for years until we graduated. People pretended to be my friends just to come over to my house then not talk to me anymore really, that’s when I kind of caught on. It was 3rd grade. I pretty much became a mute and then was made fun of for THAT. I was never mean to anyone, I wasn’t dirty or weird or creepy or showboaty. I went over it in my head a million times when I was a kid. Before that school and after I was always “the nice one” “the sweet one”. It wasn’t warranted, the bullying. They just hated what I had. Or what they thought I had. Doesn’t matter what your house looks like if it’s hell inside too.
I hate kids, Private schools, Jealous people, organized religion and all that b******t to this day. Years later when that priest died and I was invited to some memorial Facebook page, my contribution was a simple “good.” On the comment wall. Guess I’m going to hell. See you there, Father Mario.
#6
I had a knee injury and was limping around everywhere ~14 years old. My parents told me they did not have the money to see the doctor. When I repeated this to my soccer coach he was in shock and pissed. Told me, “Do you know how much money your parents make?” I think he had a strong word with them and my parents took me to the doctors. Found out they were Multi Millionaires and my Dad was a CEO. My meniscus was torn.
Having said that, the Redditor assured that she has always had a safety net. “I was on my parents' insurance all throughout young adulthood, so I always had the benefit of good healthcare, routine dental appointments, and eye exams.”
Moreover, her expensive contact lenses and glasses “(which cost several hundred dollars, even many years ago)” were covered by her parents’ insurance or put on their credit card. “When my dentist discovered a small cavity, I was able to have it taken care of immediately, before it worsened and became a much more painful issue requiring a much more expensive procedure.”
#7
I thought we were poor because my bedroom was only one room, a walk in closet and a bathroom and I didn’t have a sitting room area/whole section of the house for myself like my friend across the street.
I grew up in a well-off area and since we didn’t live in a mansion or have a shore house with an elevator, that we were middle class at best. Then when I went to high school in a true middle class town and started visiting my friends’ houses I realized what I had wasn’t normal.
I was hella snobby back then. I regret it.
PandaGoPanda 1 year ago
My colleague was telling me yesterday about the housing he grew up in; one room per family. No heating, shared bathroom across the yard. In the 1980s it was converted to apartments with two rooms and an indoor bathroom each. We lived in a far bigger apartment across the road and never realised quite how cramped his place was..
#8
Apparently it wasn’t normal to go on holiday once a month.
“My parents didn't believe in buying their kids their own cars, but they did purchase a total of four vehicles for us all to share. All the cars were clean, reliable, and well-maintained, so there was never any concern about how or if we would be able to make it to class or work,” the Redditor told us. What’s more, any mechanical issues were dealt with promptly as well, “which were additional costs absorbed by my parents that my siblings and I never had to concern ourselves with,” she said.
However, the woman said it wasn't so for some of her classmates. “I still remember one who shared her tip for what she did when funds were low and she didn't have much money for food: spending what she did have on a jar of generic peanut butter, as she found that just a spoonful assuaged the pangs of hunger for her.”
#9
My friends talk about their student debt. I graduated debt free with my Masters Degree.
#10
I grew up with a maid. She pretty much did everything for us children. Didn’t realize that not everyone had a maid growing up.
While the Redditor assured us that she worked hard, she said that the payoff for that work was amplified by the resources provided by her parents.
“I love working out, so I'll use a running metaphor. Obtaining an education and growing a career was like running a marathon. Because of my parents, I was well-trained, ran on a freshly paved street, wore the best quality shoes, and enjoyed the benefit of water stations along the way,” the woman told us.
“There were some others I knew who - to stick with this same metaphor - ran the same distance, but on a gravel path with potholes and rocky ground. They were barefoot and no one gave them any water along the way. And maybe a polar bear was chasing them. Some of them got mauled by the polar bear and when others stepped in to try to help, there were those who suggested people who got mauled by polar bears were just slow, lazy runners. I never had to worry about being chased by a polar bear at all.”
#11
My family immigrated from a developing country to Australia. Idk if my parents were "rich" rich but they were really good at saving and worked hard to make a living so we had a pretty good life. We lived in a middle class suburb growing up, went to public school, didn't have anything too fancy until our mid-late teens but it was more than enough. However, I didn't realise that this could be classified as rich until we went back to our home country for the first time since leaving, around when I was 14, and it was a pretty big eye-opener.
No hot water. If we wanted a hot water shower, we had to boil a kettle and then mix it with cold water. Both sets of grandparents' houses were a little bit run down but in that country they would've been considered upper-middle class. Women were expected to dress humbly so we wore a lot of jeans/long skirts despite it being boiling hot. Electricity was dodgy but fortunately we had it.
Streets were run down, very narrow and very shoddy/dangerous to drive on yet there was no enforcement of road rules or anything, but it was one of those countries where you could cross in the middle of a 10 lane highway and every car would stop for you with no complaint. Most businesses were openly corrupt, including government funded businesses, and no one did anything about it; you basically had to stoop to their level to get your way.
Don't get me wrong, it's a beautiful country and I'm proud of where I come from, but seeing that made me realise how rich I was just to be living in a country like Australia.
Two_rolling_black_eyes 1 year ago
World bank published a study last month showing 50% of the world makes less than $6.85 a day. More than that, and you are considered The global poverty line set at $3.65.
#12
I realized we were wealthy when I spent the night at my childhood friend’s. Her mom had a tiny townhome and the only way I was able to have a sleepover there is if my parents sent me with money for food as one extra mouth to feed was outside of their means.
My house was the house where all the teens congregated to hang out, watch movies in the theater, play pool, etc. I also had the “cool” parents and everyone was friends with my parents and told them all about their life and got advice from them. It irked me at the time but now that I am a mom of a teenager, I realize just how much it must have meant to our friends that they had an adult they could trust to keep confidence and give guidance without judgment. My parents were also one of the few places the queer kids could be openly themselves (meanwhile my dad was never accepting of my own sexuality, which is weird af.)
We had monetary wealth but also being a safe place for teens made us rich in so many more ways. It all came to a crashing halt due to personal issues with my parent and we lost everything.
So while the woman was diligent and industrious, she never had to worry about setbacks in the same capacity that many others did. “I was able to build on what was already established by my parents and their parents before them, and each generation in my family has grown successively wealthier as a result,” she said.
The woman said she hopes she is using that well. “I have seen enough to know I had many advantages others didn't and my goal is to invest what I have in my local community. The more I have, the more I consider it a reasonability to use my assets and abilities in a way that helps others.”
#13
Makes me think of the story John Travolta told.
He was travelling with his family, and despite having a legitimate fleet of private planes/jets, this one time he was flying commercially.
They boarded and his child was incredulous and wondered why all those strangers were on their plane.
censorshipsucks 1 year ago
wow that's bad parenting, at least let your kid know that they are privileged.
#14
My parents were always super frugal (we camped instead of hotels on road trips, siblings had to share ice cream cones, rarely ate out at restaurants) but then my parents bought a jet ski, new car, and a boat all within a couple months and I went "wait......".
Turns out Dad was a VP at a Fortune 500 company, but his emphasis was always on paying for education and experiences and passing down fiscal responsibility rather than being flashy.
Firstname Lastname 1 year ago
As a sibling, I'd rather share a dish of ice cream instead of a cone. Still double dipping and sharing cooties, but something about both licking the scoop feels queasy to me.
#15
When I started talking in school about the pros and cons of Disney World vs Disney Land, and people were like "YOU'VE BEEN ON VACATION?! LUCKYY"
thatlesbiantacocat 1 year ago
Yeah, it's the opposite. People will be talking about Disney, and then there is ALWAYS this one kid who talks about how Spain and Portugal are better than BOTH of them.
#16
I realized the town I grew up in was pretty well off. My parents lived modestly, we had 1 TV, a two-car garage and 10-year-old humble cars, went to TJ Maxx for discount clothes and wore hand-me-downs from my dad. Other kids I knew had 3 or 4 car garages, BMWs, Escalades, sports cars, they had maids and cleaning people, summer homes in the mountains, huge TVs in their rooms, heated swimming pools, the newest most expensive sneakers and handbags, ski vacations, etc.
I later learned we were probably pretty close to as well off as those people, but my parents were a little older and just lived more humbly and saved it all up instead of flaunting it. We never wanted for anything, we just didn’t live like an MTV Cribs episode.
Celtic Pirate Queen 1 year ago
"Cribs". I will NEVER understand why a single man (pro athletes usually, duh) needs a 12,000 sq. ft. house? Isn't it enough just to have a couple/3/4 guest suites, maybe downstairs so they could have their own little kitchenette as well? I mean, sure - they're certainly not cleaning it & providing work for someone who needs it, but For Real? You could buy a really sweet place for less than half of what you're spending and help feed some homeless people, get some Vets off the streets you know, and do something other than create a ginormous Space D*CK" to feed your "Oh, SO, INSECURE EGO". Musk, Bezos, and Zimmerman are the big 3 in my mind. Bill may be a cheating a$$hole, but at least he actually gives back to the community.
#17
When I learned what an acre was. Apparently 20 is a lot.
Pedantic Panda 1 year ago
Depends if farming is your primary job or not. 20 acres is not a very big farm bit is a big garden.
#18
I think I was six years old when I asked my godfather, who was a professional athlete at the time, how much he made and he said less than your dad. My father took me aside and said “son, you either have money or you don’t, and regardless we do not talk of it.”. I have later found that to be good advise.
digitalin 1 year ago
I know a couple who is financially comfortable. One grew up middle-class, but around wealth; the other grew up struggling. They told me that "Rich people don't talk about finances. It's considered tacky. Poor people talk about it a lot, because it affects daily life." I don't know how consistent that is, but it gave me something to think about.
#19
I didn't realize until after the family bakery went under and we suddenly became poor. It didn't really hit me until Christmas later that year, we were so accustom to having a mountain of presents, but that year we hardly got anything.
#20
My dad (a very hard-working parent lawyer) bought a cottage on Lake Michigan in CASH. I never really realized how privileged I was as a kid until I got older and saw how many people didn’t have the good things I had growing up.
censorshipsucks 1 year ago
In our country, buying anything large with paper cash usually means you are a mafioso or something. If you are really rich you just do an electronic payment.
#21
I'll play this game. My dad recently sold his company for good money. He worked his way up from bottom to owning. I am in no way set for life on that sale...he is (I don't expect to be). I realised I had a wealthy dad when I sold my first house to move closer to home, he recently sold company and offered to buy out mortgage. So currently my bank is bank of dad. He still expects full money but no interest. I realise how special I am
Best Behave 1 year ago
I appreciate that you are having to pay back, however a free mortgage is one step on the way to being set up for life, as it will lead to no housing overhead. just make sure that the mortgage is properly written up. If not your house may become part of the estate should something happen to your dad - you might lose everything if as you suggest you aren't in his will.
#22
When I visited a friend in kindergarten who claimed to have a great selection of Batman action figures. They were all from happy meals (still sick though).
Pedantic Panda 1 year ago
This is not a reflection of how rich you are though. To be honest, if someone was going to fast food that often when I was growing up I would think they were rich or at least well off.
#23
When I discovered that my father would give his used stuff to those needing it more than he did. Rich doesn't necessarily mean money; I'd rather think about how rich you can become by doing what's good for another person without expecting anything in return.
It's something I adapt into my life.
Valerie G. 1 year ago
That is true wealth. Money comes and goes, but that attitude is everything.
#24
When it all ended. My parents were not millionaires but well off. My father worked in finance. I remember christmas's were you couldn't see the floor for presents. Then my father changed, his personal dealings went south, started to borrow, then steal, steal from my mother and money from grandparents, even forgery, it then turned violent when my mother discovered it all. In the space of a few months, we went from spoilt to asking the neighbors for work. The experience overall change us for the better and I look back and I don't miss our wealth. I just look in distain at how much of a brat I was.
#25
Yachting around every weekend to different islands in the North East after school let out on Friday. Would have been awesome if I wasn't always seasick.
#26
When I was 14 it clicked. My brother 2 years older than me crashed his $45k Silverado he'd had for 3 months by then and dad bought him another one the next weekend.
Then I went to college for 6 years and got 2 masters degrees,and had my own off campus apartment. Graduated without a single cent of student debt.
Edit: context.
Paternal Grandpa had his own mining company that produced copper, nickel, iron, and cobalt.
Paternal Grandma came from family that had oil money.
Father was architect. Who sold his firm to a competitor in early 2000.
Maternal Grandpa was a military physicist.
Maternal grandma was a Chemist.
Mother was a Chemist.
Brother did 2 tours with the Army corps of engineers due to post 911 fervor. Then became a Civil Engineer.
He married a dentist.
I'm Material scientist, I married a pharmacist.
#27
When I moved away to go to college. I had always dreamed of escaping suburbia and the nuclear family. I never realized how privileged I was to have fresh paved roads, low noise pollution, street lamps, light police presence, pets, access to nature, double pane windows, and a thousand other perks not appreciated until lost.
(Also, in elementary school, I went on a field trip to SF. I saw homeless people for the first time in Civic Center Plaza. In my hometown there were no homeless, or if there were they were kept out of sight)
Literal Pigeon 1 year ago
Suburbia isn't for everyone; for some people the negatives outweigh the benefits and they prefer to live in the city or rurally instead.
#28
I’m currently still a teenager and living with my parents, but I noticed pretty young that my family had a lot more than most other families. My family isn’t super rich or anything but we’re well off and live a comfortable lifestyle and can afford some nice luxuries. The biggest wake up call I had tho was about 4 years ago when my parents decided that they wanted to live on the lake and we moved into our current house and bought a boat soon after. They bought this house for over twice the amount our old house sold for. I always knew we had money but I didn’t realize we had that much. I believe that we crossed into millionaire territory about 5 years ago, which makes sense how they were able to afford the house. I hope to do as well as my parents have someday, they both came from poor families and rough family relationships so it’s nice to appreciate how far they’ve come and that they built this wealth from the ground up. I try to be a grateful as I can be because I know they’re trying their best to make sure I can have access to things they couldn’t as kids. They love this house, it’s their dream home, and it makes me happy to see them making their dreams a reality. It’s motivated me to start learning and saving money as a teen so that I can hopefully become successful like them. I’m not one for over the top fancy things, but one thing I’ve always wanted since I was a kid is a really nice car. That’s my one super luxury thing that I want to be able to have one day, my dream car is a Lamborghini Urus, and one day I’m going to have it. Sorry for rambling on so much, this got off topic lmao.
Debby Keir 1 year ago
Unfortunately 'millionaire status' (dollars or £) is not what it once was - in some areas it doesn't even buy a house, let alone much freedom.
#29
Both my parents came from super humble backgrounds. My dad was youngest of 7 in a military family. My mom was oldest of 4 and grew up in a trailer park with her dad being a trucker.
My dad got into investment banking and my mom became a lawyer and both of them did really well. But they always "hid" it and would always give money to family. Like they drove older cars that weren't as nice and we had a decently nice house, but not one that would make you think we were rich.
When I was 16 my dad decided "f**k it, time to enjoy the money I worked for" and we moved into a wayyyyyyyyy bigger house and replaced all of our cars with Mercedes and he bought a porsche. Definitely a weird thing to to experience at 16. I thought we were like barely above average middle class. I'd see nice cars and be like "dad I bet that guy's a millionaire" and he'd be like "we are too." And I always thought he was joking. Now that I'm older I realize that a million really isn't that much, and he definitely wasn't joking.
#30
My father was giving me twice as money as I earn. He called it early inheritance. I am a well-paid software developer. Felt really weird to me.
#31
My 3rd grade teacher (1980's) asked the class what we would do with a million dollars, and I remember thinking, well I have about a million in my trust fund.... so I answered what was to me very obvious: invest it conservatively and live within my means.
#32
Not sure if they were exactly rich but we had a second land line dedicated for our dial up internet.
#33
Not even a year ago when my mom told me how much her business makes every year. I'm 24. She started this business from scratch while taking care of two kids as a single mom, so you can't really blame me for thinking she was still struggling to make it work.
#34
My family is working in banking since 5 generations and I knew that my great grandfather was a sucess man, founder of a major european Bank and minister. But my parents were living without showing any sign of overwealthness and were humble in there speach regarding money. Even if I was in a private school (not a really expensive one but one well located) , I assumed i was average (even a bit below ) in wealth comparaison with my friends and classmates.
When I was 12 year old, we moved not far from our home to a new place. And I realised that nobody in my school were living in a 200 squaremeters flat with a view on the eiffel tower at every window.
#35
When the 2008 recession had absolutely no effect on us and we still had tons of music lessons and other expensive hobbies and still went on vacations.
Also when my parents bought me a horse. Not a pony, a full sized American Saddlebred (though I was a horseback rider and still was up until I was in college). We still have him too :)
#36
My mom used to never let me have friends over as a kid.
In 6th grade, my Dad convinced her to let me have a party at the house. My friends kept saying that I lived in a castle.
That’s when it kind of hit me that the 6 bedroom McMansion I lived in was ridiculously extravagant and my parents were rich.
Valerie G. 1 year ago
Did you not go to any of your friends' houses? And see how they live and not see the difference?
#37
Not stupid rich but my mom owned two very popular Asian restaurants growing up. Our house was a good size but I remember her having hand carved Thai tables imported over for like 10 thousand dollars. I just figured everyone lived comfortably.
Thinking back, even when I was like 9-13, I'd ask for like 5 bucks to go to the arcades, I'd always be handed a $100 bill.
#38
I always knew my family had money. However, the moment I realized we were wealthy was when I started a new school in Europe. Many of the students had parents who had high level positions with international companies and their companies would pay the tuition for their kids. Well, my dad happens to have his own business. Everyone in the town knew about it because of the location of it.
Anyway, during lunch on one of my first days of school all the kids were talking about what their parents did for a living. I spoke up and told everyone that my dad owned the business everyone knew about.
At first I didn't think anything of it, but over the course of my first few months of class kids started bullying me for having money. It was really petty stuff like, "you're lying about your dad," or a girl once showed up in the 6th grade with a louis vuitton bag that was her mom's and was waving it in front of me telling me that's what money looked like and I was just "a dumb Jewish dyke" I cried and when I went home and that was the moment I realized that my family had money.
#39
When a kid in my class (who as it happened didn’t live that far away from us) bragged the day after Halloween that he and his friends had gone trick-or-treating on our street “where all the rich people live”.
I had always known we were well-off, but would not have described us as rich because a) we didn’t have live-in staff b) our property was not fenced off and c) my parents always drove themselves. I.e., we didn’t live like Richie Rich.
GuyYouMetOnline 1 year ago
That's kinda how I feel about my family. Many would call us rich, but we don't have those stereotypes like a huge mansion or live-in staff or the like. I've long felt like 'well-off' is more accurate than rich.
#40
Dad owned a financial advisory company. never knew i was rich because since he was so financially literate, he just invested alot and didnt splurge. when we moved into a new house i accidentally found the paper for the house listing and saw that the house we were moving into was a million dollars.
#41
I didn't while growing up. Was only once they started buying my brother and I houses that I realized s**t wasn't normal.
David Paterson 1 year ago (edited)
Same here. Family was very frugal. Cheapest of everything. I hadn't realised they were saving to buy me and my sister a house each, cash, no mortgage.
#42
I was outside the roller rink talking to a boy I liked and waiting for my dad to pick me up. Boy asked me to call him as soon as I get home. My dad picks me up and I can't get home fast enough so I can call boy.
I call boy. He tells me he "didn't know i was a rich kid" and couldn't talk to me anymore. All because I showed him my watch (to check the time), and my dad's car. :( I had no clue
François Bouzigues 1 year ago
That is very messed up to give up on someone because they are well off.
#43
When I had to get a recommendation for my private high school admissions from my public school teacher and she asked in front of the class: “Do you know how much the tuition is?” I told her (I had no concept of what that figure meant.)
She asked: “Your parents can afford that?”
And my classmate said: “His family is rich. They have fancy cars and a plane!”
#44
My mother and father were divorced, and so I had 2 very different lifestyles at the same time.
During the school year, I lived with my mother. She was self-employed making scrapes compared to others. We lived in a trailer behind my grandmothers house. I often wore the same clothes for several school years.
During the summer, I was with my father. Same city, very different part of town. Basically the Hollywood of our city. He too was self-employed, but making much much more. I pretty much had everything I needed and then some. But after talking about our cabin with a swimming pool to my other friends, I realized no one had any idea what I was talking about...
Most of my friends thought I was basically homeless and couldn't understand why I would suddenly show up well dressed for events.
#45
When I learned how much 4 houses cost. Had to wear trash clothes and steal money for lunch at school. Thought we were dirt poor.
Pedantic Panda 1 year ago
Did this mean they had houses but no accessable money? The comment seems to contradict itself.
#46
Change a car every 2 years, I'm not talking about the Toyota or Hyundai, I'm talking about Mercedes and BMW. At first my mom told me we do that to "refreshed" the unfortunate of the car when it was serving us, I thought that was some Asian culture and assume everybody else do that and I was flexing around and bragging with that "fact" like a rich a*****e. It turns out that my parents are bussinessman and woman so their appearance must look nice when they go meeting with customer, still, I feel like an a*****e back then.
#47
Dad came home late from work and I had been eagerly wating for him for a reason I don't remember now. I do remember clearly him coming up the stairs and me asking him why did he take so long, didn't his boss allow him to leave on time?
His answer was: What are you talking about? I am the boss.
It suddenly hit me that the hundreds of people he had around him all day weren't exactly his pals.
#48
It was weird for me. We were solidly middle class when I was a toddler. Upper middle class by mid grade school, wealthy when I was in highschool, and near 1%ers when I started college. So I sort of grew into it.
I was always pretty generous with gift giving and whatnot. Wasn't too spoiled relative to the wealth.
Seeing my parents less and less often due to business trips was my first hint. Other kids in my school saw their parents a lot more often.
I don't really know if we were rich in the best ways.
#49
My dad was pretty well off when I was a kid. We moved into a three story kinda house kinda mansion in the suburbs right outside Berlin. It was the perfect childhood. I would say many Germans are relatively sparing in what they spend their money on and being flashy isn’t as popular in certain communities. But my parents indulged in creating a beautiful home and always made sure we had everything we needed (and more). Most of my friends lived in apartments within the city, and looking back, although it wasn’t apparent at the time, it’s a very different experience. There were a handful of other kids that lived in the same suburb. It wasn’t until my preteens when we moved to the US that I realized how much that lifestyle impacted my childhood. I went from having my own bedroom and play areas and an entire garden and forest, to living in a one bedroom with four people.
#50
Before i started my apprenticeship my only worry was if i wanted to go to New York or Dubai lol
#51
When I went to University. I thought state schools were specialty schools because the only ones I knew were the government funded mathematics school and agricultural school. I thought everyone went to boarding school, and a lot of people at my University would get really funny when I talked about school or when I asked where they went. They thought I was mocking them when I’d talk about it, which I really wasn’t. It seems stupid of me now, but everyone I ever knew went to boarding school, or was a day student at one.
#52
Not my parents but my grandad was the director of one of the biggest billion dollar company in my country but he was such an average guy that it took me years to finally ask what he worked as. He's so rich but he uses one of the oldest cars that nobody uses anymore because it was his first car and back in the days that car was something that nobody could afford lol.
Evelyn Haskins 1 year ago
I LOVE my old Cars, and am very very proud to drive them. (But we sold my lovely 1963 VW (bought new!) recently because our VW mechanic here retired. I have now stooped to driving an 18 year old car :-(
#53
When we sold some family land to a big oil company so they could build a factory. Tens on millions of dollars, I was jazzed at the time but with the way things are going with the environment I kinda feel like a sellout now
#54
When I realized just how outrageously lucky I was.
Grew up in a town with people ten times wealthier than we were. Went to a well-known boarding school with sons and daughters of billionaires. It majorly skewed my idea of what “rich” was, despite having multiple houses, boats, cars, and family trips all over the world. One side of the family is very old money, the other self-made hoteliers, and my parents both highly intelligent and hard-working successes, but my younger years were spent in a bubble of people where everything was just orders of magnitude grander.
I never had the proper perspective until I was homeless.
#55
Not my parents cuz they leech off my grandparents, but my grandfather casually mentioned buying a Ferrari like it was nothing. Also my grandma crashing her Mercedes-Benz and getting fixed without fretting, owning multiple houses all over the country, my granduncles being kidnapped and the ransom being undoubtedly big, my grandpa and his other brother's paying said ransom MULTIPLE times, going on business class almost for every trip, both my grandparents wasting millions of dollars on rehab/financial help/psychiatrists for their siblings.
Yea, I thought that was the standard for middle class...
Edit: He didn't buy the Ferrari because it was "to flashy" so he's gonna wait for the old Mercedes to break so he can get a new Mercedes
Heather Vandegrift 1 year ago
Grand uncle's being kidnapped and ransomed MULTIPLE TIMES and also needing rehab and psychiatric help... Can't help but wonder if the psychiatric problems led to the kidnapping (because of trying to cheat someone powerful out of drugs) or vice versa
#56
I won't say my family is rich, but we definitely are on the wealthy side. My dad worked his a*s off to get where he is now, and growing up my mom made sure that we would never have a concrete idea of the family income. My grandparents were utterly horrendous in money management skills and so she is extremely strict when it comes to spending. Nevertheless my parents could afford most of the things my brother and I needed, and things we wanted. Our parents took us on several trips abroad and while we weren't staying in super fancy places, it was a privilege nevertheless. No expense was spared when it came to tutors for our education, extra classes or good teachers and resources. My most recent realisation though was because I am sorting through my uni applications now. I broached the topic of studying abroad several years back, and got into a few good schools recently. But, being an international student is super super expensive and I knew that even the little I had saved up wouldn't even make a dent in the tution and accommodation expenses I would have to pay. I had to sit down with my dad and have a good talk and his words were, "If there is a problem with finances I will let you know." I was just struck dumb, especially since I have a brother who will study abroad as well and unis aren't cheap. I am immensely lucky to have the privilege of not essentially worrying about tution and part of my accommodation, when I know there are so many people, some of my own friends who can't afford the same thing. It put alot of things into perspective.
#57
My dad always told my brothers and me how fortunate we were as we grew up. However, it didn't hit me until I learned that the 2008 recession was a thing until six years after it happened.
Evelyn Haskins 1 year ago
Well it might have been a recession, but it certainly was not a 'depression' and it made little difference to the average person's life-style
#58
My parents like to live more frugally so I always thought we were just regular middle class (I knew we weren’t poor but) but then people would ask my what my parents did for a living and I would say “oh my dad is a rocket scientist!” And they would go “oh so you’re rich” and I would be like “huh?”
Hypoxia Smurf 1 year ago
My first FIL designed missile guidance systems at the local rocket factory but certainly was not 'rich'. The 'richest' folks in my vicinity lived around a complex of private colleges. My own family was mid-middle-class, as were all our suburban neighbors, only a few of whom afforded in-ground swimming pools in backyards. IMHO that last is the sign of affluence -- a dug-in pool at home. No, we lacked that, and the family next door dedicated theirs to their polio-immobilized daughter. Sad.
#59
That private school cost money. But only after we ran out and couldn’t pay the fees so we had to stop going.
Evelyn Haskins 1 year ago
There are some kids who go to State schools and still need financial assistance.
#60
Using a backup account for privacy-ish. Simple answer is I always kind of knew that we were well off but I didn’t really know. I always worked for the family business and got a job somewhere else as soon as legally allowed to as well. I guess I was kept too busy to think much about it. I didn’t fully realize until I got much more involved in the family business, and started seeing the reactions of people when I was going on spontaneous trips abroad for breaks. Sunk in pretty f*****g fast after that. Still am sheepish about it, but very grateful. I feel a tad stupid and called out when reading some other replies cause idk how I missed it sometimes…
#61
Going to other peoples houses and seeing they weren't as big. Took me a long time to find this out because... let's just say popular was not the word to describe me.
Thomas Ewing 1 year ago
Humility is a virtue, and I suspected we might be comfortable when my parents insisted that my brother and I not be spoiled. Huh? How can we be spoiled when we don't/can't even eat at the new McDonald's that opened nearby in 1965? (It was considered low-brow, but not to me at 10). We didn't get new bikes and had to build/buy our own with our own tools and funds. My first car was a ten-year-old Plymouth for $150 in 1974. My dad would get a new mid-size car every 5 years and mom would get the old one. We never acted wealthy because my folks grew up during the Great Depression, 1929-39, and taught us to live within our means with no ostentation. Due to both my parents having degrees and careers and a small family, we never went without, but weren't showy about it. When I counted my blessings years after my parents passed, I was embarrassed to learn how well-off we were, counting such things as paid-off mortgages, no credit cards, and a good standing in the community.
#62
My brother is 8 years older than me. When he came back home for a visit after his first semester in college he told 10yo me that he never revealed his hometown to his new college friends because he didn't want them to think he was a snob. We lived on the far-less prosperous side of that village, but still, that was precisely when I realized that I was born with inherent/unearned privileges that others might never experience.
Amanda Hunter 1 year ago
My Children, now in their 30s have only just started admitting what town they grew up in, a wealthy town in N CA.
#63
Not exactly rich but on the wealthy side of my peers. When working for me was an option for when I needed extra money, compared to my peers who had to work to help there parents support the house hold.
#64
Started noticing Christmas gifts being a lot different than others. Then for sure when college paid for.
Also once or twice, without fully understanding, when younger saw my dad sign for some ridiculous restaurant checks with equally outrageous(ly large) tips.
#65
In addition to lots of typical “luxury” things, very expensive vacations, graduating college without debt, expensive hobbies and vacation homes the thing that really sticks out is how much my parents were willing to pay for things like tutors, SAT prep, summer camps and sports. They wanted us to have every experience and every advantage they could provide.
It took me years and years to appreciate.
#66
Not crazy “rich”, but it quickly became apparent that 2-3 Ski trips per year (in the Rockies) wasn’t exactly the norm lol.
Marie Dahme 1 year ago
I remember going to Aspen back in the 70’s when it was a nice place to go for the surrounding locals. I lived in SE Wyoming so Aspen or Steamboat Springs or Estes Park was always a nice place to go. Now I couldn’t afford to eat out in Aspen.
#67
Ok, my parents didn't make much when I was growing up. If fact I know it was under 18K a year, so I got my college paid for via grants and other means. I grew up though on a large family farm that was incorporated. My parents were the majority share holders. So how it worked my parents kept their income low, but the farm paid for cars and trucks, atvs, snowmobiles, and houses. So all my parents had to do was pay for food and clothes for school, but farm clothes where paid for by the farm.
I found out later in life while I thought we didn't have much money. In reality Dad was a savvy business guy realized he could basically live on nothing, but yet when he retired he was able to pocket 2-3 mil. I thought it was normal for people to get a new truck/car every 3-4 years. Yet you keep the old one on farm for the employees to drive and use on the farm. As 16 year old I basically had a fleet of cars/trucks to choose from to drive. Who paid my insurance for driving not my parents, but the farm.
#68
I grew up poor & lived with my mom, but my dad eventually made really good money as an electrical engineer for international cruise ships. I'm not sure how much money he made exactly but I visited him every summer, sometimes in the winter. One summer he got a new house in a gated community. It was a modest-sized house but with two living rooms, a lake view, and freaking columns inside. The washer & dryer sang a song when they were done. The community had a clubhouse, a pool & a hot tub and a really nice gym. They took me on shopping sprees and bought me whatever I wanted even if it wasn't on sale, we went to Disney often, ate out pretty much every day, bought all organic groceries at Fresh Market instead of Walmart.
Maybe they were just solid middle-class but man I've never felt so rich. Im really glad I got to "take breaks" from being poor lol.
#69
I remember talking to my family in a car ride about what I learned in economics class my junior year of high school. That particular day, my class learned about safeguards the U.S. government has in place to prevent another Great Depression. One of those safeguards is the FDIC and how it insures your money placed in a bank account and if it's lost or stolen, you will be reimbursed by the Federal Government. At the time, the maximum amount of money in an account FDIC would insure was $100,000. My Dad has a degree in economics and this was no surprise to him, but my step-mom must not have been aware of this because, when she heard this, she asked my Dad very seriously what would happen to our money if it was stolen, implying that my family had more than $100,000 to our name. Considering the standard of living my family was, and is currently is, living at I feel foolish for not realizing my family's affluence until I was 17, but the fact my family had more than $100,000 blew my mind. It's certainly something not to be taken for granted.
#70
When I started to use the prefix “best” whenever I was trying to find a product or service online and was applauded for my diligence.
#71
At my high school we had the ACT sponsored by the state. This wasn’t right but I glanced at the 3-4 friends around me filling out their demographics and noticed their parents were making < $50k. I filled out the top bubble which was > $160k and didn’t realize that was significantly high. This was probably 10th grade too.
Debby Keir 1 year ago
I have never heard of a form that children filled out stating what their parents earned - I never knew what my father earned. I never discussed my salary with my kids. A form that parents have to fill out, OK, but doubt that most kids would have a clue.
#72
When I worked at a factory when I was 18 through a career ready machining program I got over the summer. My dad helped me buy a new car, I paid roughly $4,000 but overall the car was $21,000, he paid in cash. When I showed up to work, everyone asked me what my dad did for work, he's a cargo pilot, after that it was non stop teasing and comments about how rich he/our family was. Later on when I was applying for FASFA I found out that my dad made about $300,000 per year. You wouldn't guess it by looking at our house, but I always had a computer, working car, and I graduated from college debt free.
#73
My parents weren't rich, but when I was applying for college loans I saw that my dad made around $150,000 a year which really surprised me since, when growing up, money always felt like it was really tight and I remember my parents always worrying about overspending on their budget. I do have 9 siblings so that probably lent to that, but I always figured we were kinda more in the field of low middle class income wise.
#75
I have rich parents. People went crazy over my yeezy shoes.... I was like ummm... ya they are cool but people (from my class) just wouldnt believe it to be real. Glad my shoes size is small coz classmates where asking to try it own.. People started taking me seriously and started talking good to me after that...weird imo
What do you think ?
Nitka Tsar 1 year ago (edited)
I wonder if there are people who grew up not knowing they were poor. …
V 1 year ago (edited)
For the area I grew up in we did ok. We weren't the ones who could afford to go on holidays every year, or eat name brand food or wear name brand clothes (except the second oldest son who refused not to) but I did get at least some food everyday for lunch at school even if it wasn't enough to fill me up, and my clothes were mostly new (except a few hand me downs from cousins) even if they were from the clearance rack at the cheap department store. But that was a lot more than a lot of the kids I grew up with so I always felt guilty for having so much.
JMil 1 year ago
This is a cautionary tale: like some of the posters, I lived a tale of two lifestyles between my divorced parents. I thought my dad/stepmom were loaded (who I would visit for several weeks a year). Fancy cars, fancy housing, fancy furniture, fancy dinners, artwork, generous presents, etc. I thought my mom/stepdad were pushing upper middle class at best. Money-is-tight mentality, modest living (though looking back I appreciate no expense was spared on medical/dental and important things like that). However, due to a variety of discoveries later in life I realized dad was living above his means and mom was living below hers. Dad had a more volatile income, but averaged over a long period the incomes on both sides were probably similar. Now (all at or near retirement) dad/stepmom are pretty much destitute (I've lent money) and mom/stepdad likely have millions in retirement.
Ace Girl 1 year ago
I found out the day my mom sat me down and told me that they were actually millionaires. I think I was in Middle school. We didn't live fancy and my parents still don't. I know someday when they're gone they'll leave me and my sister with a lot of money. I wish they wouldn't, though. I wish they would spend their hard-earned money and enjoy the fruits of their labor. But, my mom told me that when you live so long being frugal and saving you can't just flip a switch.
GenericPanda09 1 year ago (edited)
Before my being made disabled in the military caught up with me for good and i was working in good IT management positions for banks later on, I remember one month where 3 of my laptops just died, and I didn't even have to check my account to replace them instantly. Then when my health took a step change down.. the government assistance was £11 per week..... ( it would have been more but they took my war pension as 'income')...... i mean.... come on.... a war pension cause you were injured in service should not be taken as 'income'........ it's compensation surely. Anyway, I just had to do what we do best....... adapt. But f**k it was tough going from high earner to no earner in the matter of weeks.
Hypoxia Smurf 1 year ago
An inlaw of mine (I'll call her Viola) now living in USA, grew up in a rather prominent Central American family -- one uncle was *el Presidente* of a nearby country, and a grandmother heads the economics department at another country's national university. 'Viola' said she knew her family had money because of the armed guards protecting her. Ay yi yi!
GuyYouMetOnline 1 year ago
I wouldn't call it realizing we were rich (though we certainly were pretty well-off) so much as realizing other people were poor, but my moment was in grade school (don't recall which grade) when I mentioned something about a TV show to a classmate and asked if he watched that show and he said his family didn't have a TV. I'd just never before seen a house without one, so it was quite a surprise.
Pattie Cox 1 year ago
My Mom grew up VERY poor with seven girls on a farm in the Great Depression. One Christmas all they got was a rented (for 10 cents) radio to listen to Christmas carols. My parents owned their own small business but were definitely working class. I’m an only child and after my Dad died she kept bugging me to have a talk with her about her money. I kept avoiding it because I didn’t want to face the fact that she would struggle with money as she got old. She finally sat me down and told me how much money she had. I thought she was losing her memory because it was so much. I was sure she was confused and added a couple of zeros. I nosed around until I found her investment statement. Holy s**t, she was right!
Lola Kassedy 1 year ago
kinda the opposite, i always thought we were sorta poor, because we have a tiny house, no big flashy things, always bought second hand clothes, especially because it's just me and my mom (divorced parents... mom got no money from him) it wasent until i had been to 4 other continents by the time i was 13 that i realized we were doing really well. we just had other priorities than looking flashy. my mom was a freaking legend. excuse my grammar and punctuation pls
Nitka Tsar 1 year ago (edited)
I wonder if there are people who grew up not knowing they were poor. …
V 1 year ago (edited)
For the area I grew up in we did ok. We weren't the ones who could afford to go on holidays every year, or eat name brand food or wear name brand clothes (except the second oldest son who refused not to) but I did get at least some food everyday for lunch at school even if it wasn't enough to fill me up, and my clothes were mostly new (except a few hand me downs from cousins) even if they were from the clearance rack at the cheap department store. But that was a lot more than a lot of the kids I grew up with so I always felt guilty for having so much.
JMil 1 year ago
This is a cautionary tale: like some of the posters, I lived a tale of two lifestyles between my divorced parents. I thought my dad/stepmom were loaded (who I would visit for several weeks a year). Fancy cars, fancy housing, fancy furniture, fancy dinners, artwork, generous presents, etc. I thought my mom/stepdad were pushing upper middle class at best. Money-is-tight mentality, modest living (though looking back I appreciate no expense was spared on medical/dental and important things like that). However, due to a variety of discoveries later in life I realized dad was living above his means and mom was living below hers. Dad had a more volatile income, but averaged over a long period the incomes on both sides were probably similar. Now (all at or near retirement) dad/stepmom are pretty much destitute (I've lent money) and mom/stepdad likely have millions in retirement.
Ace Girl 1 year ago
I found out the day my mom sat me down and told me that they were actually millionaires. I think I was in Middle school. We didn't live fancy and my parents still don't. I know someday when they're gone they'll leave me and my sister with a lot of money. I wish they wouldn't, though. I wish they would spend their hard-earned money and enjoy the fruits of their labor. But, my mom told me that when you live so long being frugal and saving you can't just flip a switch.
GenericPanda09 1 year ago (edited)
Before my being made disabled in the military caught up with me for good and i was working in good IT management positions for banks later on, I remember one month where 3 of my laptops just died, and I didn't even have to check my account to replace them instantly. Then when my health took a step change down.. the government assistance was £11 per week..... ( it would have been more but they took my war pension as 'income')...... i mean.... come on.... a war pension cause you were injured in service should not be taken as 'income'........ it's compensation surely. Anyway, I just had to do what we do best....... adapt. But f**k it was tough going from high earner to no earner in the matter of weeks.
Hypoxia Smurf 1 year ago
An inlaw of mine (I'll call her Viola) now living in USA, grew up in a rather prominent Central American family -- one uncle was *el Presidente* of a nearby country, and a grandmother heads the economics department at another country's national university. 'Viola' said she knew her family had money because of the armed guards protecting her. Ay yi yi!
GuyYouMetOnline 1 year ago
I wouldn't call it realizing we were rich (though we certainly were pretty well-off) so much as realizing other people were poor, but my moment was in grade school (don't recall which grade) when I mentioned something about a TV show to a classmate and asked if he watched that show and he said his family didn't have a TV. I'd just never before seen a house without one, so it was quite a surprise.
Pattie Cox 1 year ago
My Mom grew up VERY poor with seven girls on a farm in the Great Depression. One Christmas all they got was a rented (for 10 cents) radio to listen to Christmas carols. My parents owned their own small business but were definitely working class. I’m an only child and after my Dad died she kept bugging me to have a talk with her about her money. I kept avoiding it because I didn’t want to face the fact that she would struggle with money as she got old. She finally sat me down and told me how much money she had. I thought she was losing her memory because it was so much. I was sure she was confused and added a couple of zeros. I nosed around until I found her investment statement. Holy s**t, she was right!
Lola Kassedy 1 year ago
kinda the opposite, i always thought we were sorta poor, because we have a tiny house, no big flashy things, always bought second hand clothes, especially because it's just me and my mom (divorced parents... mom got no money from him) it wasent until i had been to 4 other continents by the time i was 13 that i realized we were doing really well. we just had other priorities than looking flashy. my mom was a freaking legend. excuse my grammar and punctuation pls
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