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30 Folks Disclose Their “Dirty” Personal Secrets Online That Should Perhaps Stay Untold I went on a Mormon mission to Italy and stopped believing in the church about 3 months in and faked that I was fine so that I could stay in Italy. I broke every f****n rule I could from that point on. Went to beaches. Snuck out at night slept in every day hung out with groups of kids our age. Drank coffee and some wine and alcohol. Wouldn't wear the token white shirt and tie BS. I HAD A BLAST for the last 20 or so months.

MrPeterMerkin , Pixabay Report

128points

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TCW Sam Vimes 1 week ago

Well done. Religion is BS (NOT faith as such, just churches)

65points

RespondCrafty4622 , Chu Chup Hinh Report

30 Folks Disclose Their “Dirty” Personal Secrets Online That Should Perhaps Stay Untold Please don't shame me but deep down i have a desire to be hugged and told that everything will be fine.

110points

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Eric C. 1 week ago

Don't we all.

61points

The original thread was first published in the AskReddit community, when the user u/DesignerRole1244 asked folks just one question: "What’s your dirty little secret?" It was about a week ago, and now the thread has more than 5.4K different comments and, of course, over 5.1K upvotes. So, welcome to a selection of the most interesting and touching tell-tale stories from there, carefully collected for you by Bored Panda!

30 Folks Disclose Their “Dirty” Personal Secrets Online That Should Perhaps Stay Untold I can’t remember if my sister’s birthday is the 6th or 8th of August. I get around this by saying “It’s your birthday week! Let’s go out for lunch.” She’s 75. Way too late to ask for clarification.

factchecker8515 , Blessing Ri Report

100points

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arthbach 1 week ago

At 75, it's now acceptable to say, "I can't remember just now, is your birthday the 6th or 8th?"

51points

sanitaryworkaccount , Muffin Creatives Report

30 Folks Disclose Their “Dirty” Personal Secrets Online That Should Perhaps Stay Untold I like to go to CiCi's pizza for my birthday, I have done this since I was a kid. No one else wants to go there and complains when I bring it up, so for the last 10 years or so I let my wife pick where we go for my birthday dinner. Then I go eat CiCi's the next day for lunch by myself. No one else knows.

92points

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Dog Mom to Zoe 1 week ago

This is sad. He should be able to enjoy his birthday at his favorite restaurant.

111points

30 Folks Disclose Their “Dirty” Personal Secrets Online That Should Perhaps Stay Untold Father of all daughters here. All in their teens. I do the grocery shopping and cooking. When I go to the grocery store on Sundays I always go to Wegmans just before lunchtime. I go to the sub making station and order a sandwich and then I sit all by myself and eat it while looking over sports stuff on my phone. Its just a little bit of quiet "me time" and no one in my family knows I do it. I know.....I'm a real savage LOL

Edit: I guess I should have said Father of only daughters. LOL.

shootinxs76 , Barbara Olsen Report

77points

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Alexandra Nara 1 week ago

I got you..please no guilt about me time..

32points

In this selection, you will find a variety of exciting, werid, and sometimes even unexpected revelations. Someone played some minor dirty trick on a friend or relative many years ago, someone even slightly broke the law and, although they remained uncaught, still feels remorse. And this kind of "virtual confession"—although it doesn't provide atonement for sins—can still bring people some relief, pouring out their souls online, can't it?

30 Folks Disclose Their “Dirty” Personal Secrets Online That Should Perhaps Stay Untold I slashed my coaches tires after she had encouraged me to buy a horse that was lame and then tried to cover it up. She took a huge commission on the sale.

I ended up having to put the horse down, lost most of my savings, and took a huge confidence knock in the ring. I'd do it again.

5pla5hy , Jennifer Murray Report

77points

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Dread Pirate Roberts 5 days ago

OP went easy on the coach methinks

30points

30 Folks Disclose Their “Dirty” Personal Secrets Online That Should Perhaps Stay Untold Honestly, I dont have clue of what I am doing. I basically only alive because others want me to be.

Beater-Pc , Kindel Media Report

66points

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Booster Booey 1 week ago

It's ok. Me too.

41points

loveyouronions , Nataliya Vaitkevich Report

30 Folks Disclose Their “Dirty” Personal Secrets Online That Should Perhaps Stay Untold Before my husband and I were together we had a ‘pumpkin soup making contest’ a few years in a row where we would swap flasks of pumpkin soup around Halloween time. It was pretty wholesome (yes we were in love and didn’t know it!). Anyway I was eager to impress and while my pumpkin soup tasted great, it was a weird green colour, so I added a couple of drops of concentrated orange food colouring.

He remarked on how amazing it was that I’d got it so orange, and how much he loved it. I didn’t tell him. I then had to put food colouring in my pumpkin soup every year hence. He looks forward to pumpkin soup night and we make a big thing of it and it’s one of our favourite traditions. I still have to put food colouring in to get that orange colour he likes. I’ll never tell him.

65points

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Fat Harry (Oi / You) 1 week ago

Those are squashes.

18points

"In fact, a person, no matter how gloomy and unsociable they may be, still remains a social creature, and interaction with other people is still 'embedded into our firmware.' So, the longer we carry some secret inside us, the more we want to share it with someone," says Maria Kryvosheeva, a psychologist and NLP coach, whom Bored Panda got in touch with for a comment.

"It's absolutely not for nothing that even in world folklore, in numerous tales of different nations of the world, often living half a world away from each other, there is one and the same plot. How a person, having learned some secret, cannot keep it inside themselves. Of course, from this point of view, the Internet with its anonymity - even if often seeming, turned out to be very useful."

#10

30 Folks Disclose Their “Dirty” Personal Secrets Online That Should Perhaps Stay Untold A guy at my old job gave me a scratch-off lottery ticket. So I'm sitting alone in my cube and I scratch it. It's a 10k winner. Now, we have the obvious situation: Do you jump up and yell that you won and then comes the awkward part of the gifter wondering if you're going to split it? Or do you say it wasn't a winner and avoid the drama?

Co-worker stops by and asks if I scratched it yet, I hadn't made up my mind on what to do yet, so I said no. He left. My heart is beating like crazy. Did I just win 10 grand? Yeah, I'm gonna just say it wasn't a winner next time co-worker drops by.

I'm looking at the ticket and consumed by possibilities. I feel kind of like Gollum at this point. I turn it over to see how to redeem it....and yeah, it was a prank ticket. THANK GOD I saw that before he stopped by again. I would have looked like such an a*****e. And I would have been.

I_Dont_Like_Rice , Erik Mclean Report

59points

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Fat Harry (Oi / You) 1 week ago

I think people forget that pranks are supposed to be funny for all involved.

111points

Pferdchen 5 days ago (edited)

The odd thing is that most of what we find funny actually involves humiliation, pain, embarrassment or such for someone, sometimes even ourselves, like when we laugh at ourselves for doing something boneheaded. Just something I picked up from Heinlein's "Stranger in a Strange Land" as a child. The man from Mars concluded that the point of laughter was to remove pain and achieve catharsis. His exact quote was "Of course it wasn't funny; it was tragic. That's why I had to laugh."

2points

Beak Hookage 1 week ago

Wow, your coworker is a major league douchecanoe.

25points

Learner Panda 1 week ago

Not funny.

21points

Comment Deleted 1 week ago (edited)

This is very wrong. What if the person jumped up, told his boss to go F himself and shove the job. Then went home and oops....... Edit: spelling

14points

madeleine f 6 days ago

What an awful colleague.

11points

Doodles1983 5 days ago

I'd now go to him and yell, "I won, I can't believe it. Thank you for giving it to me. I will share 1k of the paid winnings with you when it hits my bank."

9points

Nikole 5 days ago

“And I can finally afford that surgery for my mother!”

8points

H R 6 days ago

These things should be banned

9points

Dread Pirate Roberts 5 days ago

In OP's defense, that prank was pretty mean...

6points

Michael Largey 5 days ago

A client went to his lawyers' offices and paid one of the partners in cash, using $500 bills. After he leaves, the lawyer recounts the money and discovered that the client has paid him an extra $500 bill. The lawyer says to himself, "This poses real ethical dilemma. ... Do I tell my partner?"

3points

Pandemonium 5 days ago

I think this is a joke? Playing on lawyers' ethics? Because the ethical dilemma should be about the client?

1point

Caryn C Crespo Premium 5 days ago

"prank" lottery tickets are a thing? That's so dumb! And kind of mean as well. You should have made up some sad story about how you can afford a surgery for your aunt parent dog whatever and it will save their life. Then I have to tell you that you're not saving anyone. That's what this prank deserves

2points

Enuya 5 days ago

And THAT'S why you don't give (real) lottery tickets as a gift. The recipent isn't obliged to share if they win something - but the friendship is tainted either way. Either you regret deep down that you didn't keep the ticket for yourself or the recipent regrets deep down that they feel obliged/forced to share.

1point

WoodenLion 5 days ago

This comment has been deleted.

0points

camomooey 4 days ago

Any time I hear the word "prank", I'm done. Pranks are rarely funny, usually just cruel.

0points

David Houde 4 days ago

My brother got me one of those years ago. Every Christmas our mother buys us a bunch of scratch off tickets and he slipped it into my envelope of tickets. My brother is a jerk.

0points

Bewarethere@gmail.com 4 days ago

What an a*****e!!!

0points

DEW 5 days ago

I was going to say check to see if it's real.

0points

Sven Horlemann 5 days ago

That's a life lesson right there. Nothing wrong with it.

-2points

Youpunyhumans , Craig Adderley Craig Adderley Report

#11

30 Folks Disclose Their “Dirty” Personal Secrets Online That Should Perhaps Stay Untold Im blind in one eye, was born that way. The eyeball itself is fine, but my optic nerve never fully grew. You wouldnt know it from looking at me. Only one person has ever figured it out without me telling them. My family and close friends know, but I tend to hide it from bosses, co workers, etc. Honestly, its more just something Im so used to that I hardly think of it. I dont know any differently so ive adapted to it perfectly.

Edit: Wow, Im surprised how many people there are like me! I think thats cool, I always thought what I had was exceptionally rare. Cheers to all my fellow Cyclops and people with different levels of blindness. I dont normally share my little secret, but Im glad I did here.

48points

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Pandaodboredem22 1 week ago

I wonder if OP drives, depth perception must be difficult.

11points

#12

30 Folks Disclose Their “Dirty” Personal Secrets Online That Should Perhaps Stay Untold In Basic Combat Training, one of the first nights, I was having a dream where I was peeing and pissed the f*****g bed as an 18yo in Army Basic f*****g Combat Training. Hadn’t pissed the bed since I was a toddler. It wasn’t a lot, the immediate feeling of peeing woke me up, but I was so f*****g embarrassed. No one knew, washed my s**t, went about my life.

Sk8matt123 , nikitabuida Report

43points

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Bec 1 week ago

Sleeping in a weird place, exhausted, don't beat yourself up about it

33points

A significant part of this selection are simply situations where folks got into a mess—constantly recalling them with both shame and laughter. "By the way, the ability to perceive your own failures with humor and talk about them is a sign of a mentally strong person. This, by the way, is another reason why people love standup so much. After all, stand-up comedians often resort to self-irony as their main comic technique," Maria adds.

#13

30 Folks Disclose Their “Dirty” Personal Secrets Online That Should Perhaps Stay Untold When I was in grade 1-2 someone close to me made “wee woo wee woo” fire truck sounds in class one day. He kept doing it during a test until the teacher warned them that they would face detention if they did it again. I was the one who wee woo’d his last wee woo, not him 😔.

Skylord_Cobris , Pavel Danilyuk Report

42points

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Gourdeous 1 week ago

How do you fit 5 donkeys in a fire engine? 2 in the front, 2 in the back, and one on the roof going neenaw neenaw

11points

#14

30 Folks Disclose Their “Dirty” Personal Secrets Online That Should Perhaps Stay Untold I'm a big bearded metalhead, but when I'm alone in the car I listen to and sing along to Dua Lipa.

mattthepianoman , Justin Higuchi Report

42points

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Callie27 1 week ago

That slays, YOU slay!!!!

21points

#15

30 Folks Disclose Their “Dirty” Personal Secrets Online That Should Perhaps Stay Untold I went on a hiking trip with three friends to Tenerife to explore the island's natural parks and the Teide vulcano. We were planning on a hard hike (1300m elevation gain) for the third day after 2 days of long but not too difficult hikes (average gain 600m). We told some of our friends about it and they were impressed by our commitment. On the third day we arrived at the hiking spot and after the first 400m we decided to go back and get a cable car to the top of the volcano. We faked pictures and all agreed on a version of the story to make it look like we did it for real to friends and families. We literally called that our "dirty little secret".
No regrets.

MrFourier94 , PNW Production Report

34points

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TribbleThinking 5 days ago

I'm just a different sort of critter to this kind of person. I would have recounted the epiphany at 400m, described how much I enjoyed the cable car ride, and laughed at my chagrin when I realised exactly why this hike deserves respect!

12points

And we sincerely believe that you, too, have a few similar stories from your past. So, if you need to talk it out, then the comments section on this post might be the perfect place to share your tale. And while you're at it, please feel free to read these as well—after all, learning new secrets from others is also damn exciting!

#16

30 Folks Disclose Their “Dirty” Personal Secrets Online That Should Perhaps Stay Untold I hate my mother in law.

Maidenaust , Andrea Piacquadio Report

34points

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Eric C. 1 week ago

My wife hates her too, so I don't feel so bad.

40points

#17

30 Folks Disclose Their “Dirty” Personal Secrets Online That Should Perhaps Stay Untold I'm a preschool teacher and still have to resist the temptation to eat playdough on a daily basis. The intrusive thoughts will eventually win.

madamesquire , Yan Krukau Report

34points

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Fat Harry (Oi / You) 1 week ago

I own horses and dogs. I have tried all of their treats.

22points

#18

30 Folks Disclose Their “Dirty” Personal Secrets Online That Should Perhaps Stay Untold Clogged the toilet once as a kid. It was my cousins birthday party. I panicked and fished it out with my hands and felt it in the cats litter box. It was eventually discovered by an adult. They were more confused than mad. It was a big laugh, but no one ever found out who did it.

L00e91 , Nicholas Fu Report

32points

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AKA AKA 1 week ago

i really hope you didnt feel it 🤣

12points

#19

30 Folks Disclose Their “Dirty” Personal Secrets Online That Should Perhaps Stay Untold When I was young and on my way home from school, I used to take a shortcut that went past a church and through 5 or 6 backyards to get home. When I got to the back side of the church, I used to pee on one of the church's basement windows. I didn't think there was anything wrong with this (believe me, I do now!). I was caught once by a guy who lived next door to the church doing this, and I stopped. Turns out the guy was the reverend of the church. Yikes!

thedisorient , cottonbro studio Report

29points

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Montanavanna 1 week ago

My son had to really use the bathroom yesterday when we were out running errands. He says it's an emergency so I pull over at a church, find a very far hidden corner behind trash cans thinking it is just pee. Nope, it really was an emergency. For not a religious person I felt really bad about it. I had nothing to pick it up with but don't worry, we took about half of it away in my sons shoes.

13points

Dutch Swimmer Goes Viral For Super Revealing Trunks During 2024 Olympics: “Is This Legal?”

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#20

30 Folks Disclose Their “Dirty” Personal Secrets Online That Should Perhaps Stay Untold I was in college, home for summer and at a big party at a high school friend's family's lake house. I started feeling a rumble, and I knew the beer shits were coming. Line for the bathroom was several people long and I wasn't going to make it. Stuffed some napkins in my pocket, went outside, across the street and into the woods. I did a wall squat up against a tree and let it rip.

While pulling up my pants, my foot slipped a little bit, and being drunk as a skunk, I thought nothing of it. The next morning the host of the party, a girl I went to HS with, was loudly complaining about her dog tracking s**t across the carpet.....It was me. I slipped in my own s**t and tracked it into the house. Nobody noticed because of the hubbub of the party.

Staudly , Maurício Mascaro Report

24points

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Ariadne Toms 1 week ago

The beer shits?? This is a thing?

14points

#21

30 Folks Disclose Their “Dirty” Personal Secrets Online That Should Perhaps Stay Untold I’m currently looking at Reddit on my phone whilst in a Teams meeting that includes my boss, her boss and our company’s board of directors.

Just been asked a question that I didn’t hear…😬.

gjs78 , Brett Jordan Report

24points

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Eric C. 1 week ago

I think we all do it from time to time

7points

Woman Put A Water Fountain With A Camera In Her Yard, Here Are 24 Photos Of Regular Visitors (New Pics)

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“Ma’am I Live Here”: Woman Refuses To Back Out Of Driveway, Learns A Lesson The Hard Way

#22

30 Folks Disclose Their “Dirty” Personal Secrets Online That Should Perhaps Stay Untold I’m filthy rich but dress like a hobo.

No-Archer-4713 , rawpixel.com Report

21points

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Dog Mom to Zoe 1 week ago

I'd do the same.

15points

#23

30 Folks Disclose Their “Dirty” Personal Secrets Online That Should Perhaps Stay Untold I stole a pokemon card from my friend’s house once in 5th grade. I am 22 now and still haven’t told her and I still feel kinda guilty about it.

oceanmaango , Caleb Oquendo Report

18points

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Pandaodboredem22 1 week ago

If they were in their thirties I would have said to this, "Ah ha! I always knew you stole my dragonite card!"

5points

#24

30 Folks Disclose Their “Dirty” Personal Secrets Online That Should Perhaps Stay Untold I once took a dump on a dune on a beach, and after I covered it up, a group of people walked past, and some guy stepped in it.

JTjack4 , Life Of Pix Report

16points

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Pandaodboredem22 1 week ago

Isn't that hard to dig a deeper hole especially in sand...

12points

#25

30 Folks Disclose Their “Dirty” Personal Secrets Online That Should Perhaps Stay Untold I had [intercourse] with my cousin's ex. They were together for 7 years and im also very close to my cousin we are like brothers.

Yes i feel very guilty and if i could go back in time to change it, i would.

New_Cauliflower_9991 , freepik Report

14points

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Steve Robert 6 days ago

In Alabama, you would have had sex with your cousin.

5points

50 Of The Most Incredible Shots That Were Submitted To The Comedy Wildlife Photography Awards

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French Diver’s “Jewels” In Tight Swimming Trunks Become Talk Of The Town At Olympics

#26

30 Folks Disclose Their “Dirty” Personal Secrets Online That Should Perhaps Stay Untold I didn't pay for my first car with money.

FuckHopeSignedMe , Vitali Adutskevich Report

12points

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sturmwesen 1 week ago

uhhu with what did you pay?

6points

#27

30 Folks Disclose Their “Dirty” Personal Secrets Online That Should Perhaps Stay Untold In high school my bestfriend and I (age 15) wanted to run away and move interstate so we were trying to save up for flights. We stole a cd player from school with the intention of selling it but realised it has been engraved with the schools details so we disposed of it down a storm drain.

KJB1988 , Cương Vũ Report

11points

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Sandella 5 days ago

Psht scratch off the engraving!

1point

#28

30 Folks Disclose Their “Dirty” Personal Secrets Online That Should Perhaps Stay Untold I tried to pick up a small stone from the ground to scare away the dogs in the night and realised it was someone’s s**t.

Sakai_Jin07 , Alexas Fotos Report

10points

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Dread Pirate Roberts 5 days ago

That is indeed a very dirty secret 😖

6points

#29

30 Folks Disclose Their “Dirty” Personal Secrets Online That Should Perhaps Stay Untold I purposefully mispronounce words on occasion to p**s off people.

Solrac8D , Mizuno K Report

10points

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Apatheist Account2 1 week ago

That's just dumb. There are enough annoyances in the world without making up more.

14points

Woman Moves Out Of Parents' Home After They Asked Her To Give Her Space To Brother, They Freak Out

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Mom Leaves $250k Inheritance To Son, Throws A Fit When Daughter Stops Looking After Her

#30

30 Folks Disclose Their “Dirty” Personal Secrets Online That Should Perhaps Stay Untold For over ten years, my sister's best friend and I were f*****g. Consistently and often. Usually between relationships, but not always.

googolplexy , Katie Salerno Report

3points

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Corwin 02 1 week ago

You both must have fantastic relationships with others if your cheat that often, the commitment is baffling

19points