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“That Was 17 Years Ago And I Still Don’t Answer Their Calls”: 30 Heartbreaking Things Committed By Close Friends That Broke People’s Trust Forever
Interview
Friendship is one of the most beautiful things in life. There’s something comforting about having a buddy you care for with all your heart, who stays by your side through thick and thin. That’s also what makes ending a friendship so heartbreaking; but the actions of some people leave their friends with no other option than to cut all ties.
This topic was discussed by the ‘Ask Reddit’ community members after the user Titansentinal asked what’s something a close friend has done that instantly made the redditors hate them. The answers covered all kinds of unfortunate situations, from infidelity to betrayals, even physical violence, which burned all the bridges between the former friends.
Bored Panda has reached out to the redditor that started the thread. They were kind enough to provide some comments on the topic, which you will find below.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
After being best friends from age 7 to our mid 20s I had to ghost this chick and our entire friend group, because she was trying to convince my husband to cheat on me with her. There had been several smaller things leading up to this, like telling me my husband was too attractive for me and would be better with her, but it blew my mind when he showed me the texts she sent, topless and telling him I'd never have to know. I ghosted her, then our friends started saying I should just forgive her, that I was choosing "some guy" over our 17yr friendship and that by not talking to her *I* was causing tension in our circle of friends, making them choose sides amongst themselves. So I said I didn't want to cause tension and I resolved the issue by removing myself from the entire circle of friends, they can have her. That was 17yrs ago and I still dont answer their calls and know I made the right decision. My husband and I would have celebrated our 20th last month (he died 5yrs ago tho)
RELATED:
#2
She Told my rapist I was going to the police station because she thought he had the right to know
The Survey Center on American Life revealed that the majority of people in the US (49%) have three or fewer close friends, 36% of them state they have between four and nine. But no matter how many close friends you have, losing one is never easy.
The redditor u/Titansentinal opened up to Bored Panda that they’ve had to cut ties with an old buddy as well. “My old friend was being a real [jerk] to one of my other friends so I ended our friendship,” they said.
And while there is no such thing as a recipe for the perfect companion, the OP added that “a friend should be able to joke around and not get offended about said jokes, a friend should also be able to hold a conversation, along with being just a cool person.”
#3
Lied about being raped by my best friend. I don't know why she did it but she destroyed his entire life with that one lie. He lost his friends, got banned in all clubs in our village, lost his job etc. because who would support a supposed rapist? Poor guy killed himself two months later.
And before the question pops up why I know he was innocent. He was with me at that time it happened. About 643km(400miles) away.
#4
He made a groupchat just for bullying people and invited me into it. I proceeded to watch this thing for a day and then decided to screenshot everything and give it as evidence to the victims. There was no talking to my friend about it anymore, believe me the shit that went down in that chat was that bad. It wasn't even just bullying but also stuff like doxxing. He threatened me but eventually knew he should shut up because he was already on thin fucking ice. Never will I just stay silent when I see bullying happen
ValdaDeDieu 1 year ago
I've done the same; I stand up to bullies -it's innate and kneejerk at this point. I was not "popular" in school, but I made sure I was left alone. I didn't WANT the burden of popularity; it meant working at an image that pleased everyone. To me that was shallow and meaningless. There was too much happening at home that I had to hold myself above; then there was school, plus I was an introvert. So if I didn't please everyone, f**k them. But I would fight to keep my dignity and have peace.
#5
My best friend cheated on his wife. We were all great friends. I was the best man at their wedding. But when it happened, it sickened me and made me see all the other ways he was manipulating us all. My wife and I are still good friends with the one who was cheated on. I haven’t spoken to him in almost 15 years.
#6
A couple friends ghosted me when I needed them most.
I was devastated when my husband of 27 years walked out & I became depressed. Before this I was always a “Life of the party” type who organized most of the fun outings.
Once I was longer a constant source of entertainment for them, they started avoiding me. I admit I wasn’t as much fun to be around, but damn! I’d walked both of them through divorces, their family members severe illnesses (and subsequent deaths), and much more.
Fair weather friends- best to fly away from them as well.
Susie Elle 1 year ago
Actual friends will stick with you when you can't be fun. Life is never a constant party, not for anyone.
#7
Had a friend through high school and beginning of college. Went to a small college with him. First day of class, we sit down, and theres ~20 people in the room.
Everyone is around the same age, exept for one woman, who was about 60 and finally finishing her degree when she could afford it (we found out later).
My friend turns to me and, in a relativly loud voice, says "why is she even here, she going to die soon anyways."
Immediantly yelled at him and sat on the other side of the room, never spoke to him again. The anger I felt when he said that, holy c**p you guys.
Amy Smith 1 year ago (edited)
I went to uni with a couple of really amazing older people, one of them was a retired doctor who just always wanted to do Archaeology. He was really nice, really knew his ales and was so passionate about Roman Britain. As Granda Joe would say in terms of the plonker who made the comment : "who put 50p in the edjit?"
#8
Drove 17 hours to have sex with my fiance & mother of my child while I was in the hospital for a brain injury.
They got engaged and he stole my family from me.
6 years later to this very day they ignore me and I barely see my daughter.
She loves me though and I know she will want to see me when she has a choice.
Edit: I just wanted to say thank-you to the mass amount of positivity. This has truly helped me with how I look at the situation... I started becoming desensitized to it all and accepting heart break..
I want everyone to know the one positive silver lining that came from this, and that's me getting to work in Film as an Actor and follow my dreams..
I have been doing small roles and playing small characters for a couple years now and will continue working hard and believing in myself and in my daughter. I am staying positive....but trust me
I went through some extremely dark times and I'm lucky to be alive.
#9
She abandoned her dog when she moved to a different continent. I liked her, perhaps more than liked, even. But that was the fastest 180 I've ever done in terms of emotional attachment to someone
#10
Facilitated a mutual friend and my girlfriend at the time having a full blown affair behind my back.
Dude would invite me to lunch/dinner/movies/concerts/etc so that I’d be guaranteed to have plans so my girlfriend and the other dude could go on dates without worrying about getting caught.
Dude was my best friend for a decade and an ‘uncle’ to my daughter. Instantly hated him, haven’t spoken to him now in a longer amount of time than I knew him.
#11
She was secretly taking pictures of me in my swimwear and using them to send to guys for money and pretending to me. Apparently she did this for a couple of years, I found out when I was grocery shopping and a random guy told me that he liked my pictures and wanted to hang out. I told him I never sent him pictures because I don't share pictures of myself on the internet, and asked him who was sending them. Apparently she was using a fake number, took me a week after to figure out she was doing it.
#12
Through sheer incompetence burned our home to the ground...lost our entire lifetime of collections, memorabilia and keepsakes. Everything we had hoped to pass onto children and grandchildren. It's been absolutly brutal going into out twilight years homeless...I worked too dam hard for too long to end up like this.
#13
Stabbed me in the back... not metaphorically... literally...
Bored Potato 1 year ago
Holy s**t... I hope you're okay and your psychopathic "friend" is in jail right now.
#14
Asked for advice how to get away with cheating on their husband....b***h, you don't. You get divorced and move on.
#15
i talked to her because she was new and people picked on her, we actually became really good friends really fast, she was secretly telling lies about me to my other friends to try and get them to hate me/pick her over me. other friends didn’t believe her and told me about it, i confronted her, she flipped out and proceeded to go to the principle and told him i was bullying her/said all this rancid s**t to her (i didn’t). proceeded to try and get me expelled, but luckily i’ve been going to school there for a few years and had a few of the teachers/other students vouch for me. i didn’t talk to her again after that. f*****g a*****e.
ValdaDeDieu 1 year ago
Yep. It's happened that I took someone under my wing and because I wasn't part of the "crowd"; she chose the crowd over me. Not my loss, hers. But -- it's taught me not to automatically "trust" someone just because they're a victim. I may stand up for you on principle, doesn't mean we're going to be buddies.
#16
He doesn't know how I like my coffee. It's simple, I like my coffee, exactly the same way how I liked my wife, without his d**k in it.
#17
Kept making up stories about herself. They were all somewhat believable in themselves (got pickpocketed at the mall, had a rude encounter with a clerk, tiny stuff like that) but weird s**t just kept happening to her like she was in a sketch comedy which made me very suspicious in the long run.
Then in the end she refused to come to a concert with me and then broke into a long song and dance for it:
They were crossing a busy boulevard and all of a sudden a guy high on weed rammed into them. Her friend bravely pushed her out of the way but got the full hit. With Godlike reflexes, she managed to take a clear picture of this guy's plates (in like 2006. might have been a flip phone) before heroically carrying her friend to the hospital nearby in her arms. The girl had to have one of her lungs removed and the nurses were too busy to care for her friend to like feed her and bathe her so she HAD to stay in the hospital with her.
B***h please. If you don't wanna come to a concert with me, just f*****g say so. Pathological liars are the f*****g worst.
#18
Helped her get a well paid job at the massive corporate I work at. She then made a group chat of all of our mutual friends and would send photos of me in the office to laugh at my posture/physical attributes etc. I only found out because she messaged the wrong group chat.
Star Anäis 1 year ago
Need to contact HR and check policies regarding sharing of workers photos on social media. Might have violated something.
#19
Alot, but one time i asked if we were going to the carnival together with my other friends and she said “no, we are all too busy.” I went by myself with my mom. While there I saw her with my friend group. When she saw me she whispered to the others and they all tried to hide. I walked up and said hi and asked why they were there. Got s**t about it being a last minute thing. She would always do this; leave me out and ostracize me from my other friends
Lord Mysticlaw 1 year ago
Once when I was in high school my "friends" asked me to go to the mall with them to see a movie. They didn't know that I had overheard them just before talking about how they have to invite me so that my mom would take us, because none of their parents could.
#20
There's no beating around the bush, I was the ugly friend in my college group. The one guy who was my "closest friend" would crop me out of photos he posted of us on social media. That hurt. That was just the top of the iceberg with him
ValdaDeDieu 1 year ago
You're not ugly; I can guarantee that. You're comparing yourself to -- and surrounded by -- the wrong people. Everyone, everyone has some kind of beauty.
#21
Had a close friend who had wealthy parents. He knew mine was financially struggling
Everytime we had a disagreement abour something, he would start saying things like, "At least my family is not f*cking poor" as well as insults about not being able to afford certain things.
#22
Was in high school but it still hurts me to this day when i think about it.
I got my first bf and she was weirdly angry about it because she was the pretty one and i was weird and quiet.
She told our mutual friends that she was going to go out to a party and seduce him and have sex with him just to hurt me.
The fact that she said she just wanted to hurt me made me lose all the love i had for her.
I later attempted to mend the bridge and attempted friendship again, didn’t last long. My prom date and her disappeared for several hours on prom night. Guess she achieved her goal.
Star Anäis 1 year ago
For several years I was very close friends with this girl. One morning we were having drinks and one of my guy friends told us all that this girl had invited my ex over and slept with him the night before. She sat there defiantly and told me she did it out of revenge. Because two years ago she liked a guy and he ended up going for me.🤦🏻♀️
#23
Drugged me at a rave (without my consent) and left me to die in a parking lot while he stole my laptop, some of my parents’ jewelry, and money from my home.
In his defense, crack is expensive.
Edit: To rephrase: A crack *habit* is expensive.
#24
He lovingly placed a baby in my wife while I was working.
#25
Wanted me to stand in his wedding with a dude that assaulted my wife.
#26
I had a friend who grew up from modest means. He was a real nice kid and he worked real hard to make something of himself. He succeeded, got a dream job that made tons of money, and became a complete a*****e in the process. He started acting like he was better than everyone now that he was “rolling” in the dough, to the point where he was rude almost all the time. He could turn any conversation into how he was so rich and everyone else what a poor f*ck.
I remember a friend of mine really liked a dining set that would go with her diner, so her husband got them for her for her birthday present. The first thing that came out of this guys mouth was “why’d you get these because they’re cheap as f*ck”
#27
Long story short I helped her out when she got out of jail with somewhere to stay only if she promised to help with rent. 3 months later the police came and arrested her only to find out she was using me to keep her baby’s dad from seeing the child after the court gave them split custody
Edit 1: when she reached out to me about needing a place to stay I didn’t know they had a custody battle going previously but I knew they had drama going on in the relationship. She was also the awful person in the relationships as she was always abusing OTC medication while staying with me and leaving the baby alone at the place when I would go to work so she would mess around with other guys (that’s when I called CPS)
Edit 2: The father was not at all the s****y person here, I could tell because when they arrested her he was happy he had his baby back and told me he’s been trying to get ahold of her but no response and gave me a teary hug
Edit 3: [here’s the article](https://imgur.com/a/yBfvubx)
Annie 1973 1 year ago
I'm glad the father regained custody and I'm sorry you got caught in the middle
#28
Buddy sent me nude photos of underage girls he was dating. Found out about the underage part a month after on my own and I never asked for the photos.
#29
Shared his GFs nudes...
#30
She was just really homophobic. And at that time I also started to question my sexuality. Well turns out I’m very gay and she did me a favor by not talking to me anymore (without any reason whatsoever) 😂
After that I realized she is just not a good person, probably never was 🤷♀️
What do you think ?
Carol Emory 1 year ago
Had a high school friend that moved to Texas after graduating. Came home for a visit and, as I was driving her around, she makes a comment of "I don't believe in that." I said "Believe in what?" She pointed to a white truck driving by with a black guy behind the wheel and a white girl in the passenger seat. "Black guys dating white girls." My mother and father were divorced at this time and my mother's boyfriend was a very nice older black man that treated me like his own daughter. I said "Well don't say that in front of my mother, because her boyfriend is black." My friend got real quiet the rest of her visit and then ghosted me after that. 25 years later and she asks a mutual friend for my information. Nope. Don't need any racists in my life, tyvm.
ValdaDeDieu 1 year ago
You dodged a bullet there. From my experience, most racists are toxic human shells full of garbage. They're horrible in various increments to everyone in their life. Race just gives them an EXTRA outlet. If you think you're "friends" with someone racist, think again. Their racism is a red flag regarding their general lack of principles everywhere else. There may be exceptions to that rule; but I've never met one.
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Uncommon Boston 1 year ago
I have been too generous and kind -- sounds ridiculous, but it has ended several long friendships. I helped an older friend who lived on Cape Cod by taking care of her dogs for weeks at a time, purchased food, cooked, cleaned her rental unit, etc. Her son's wife, a known liar, convinced her i was taking advantage of her. My friend believed her. I took care of her dogs for free, suddenly she preferred to pay for dog kennel. One dog died. It hurt. Thanks Jen. Another friend lost her thesis word document. I spend three days typing from her working copies while she finished writing. I was accused writing parts of her thesis. It destroyed my credibility and was part of the reason I left grad school. She graduated. Later she asked to visit, nope. I rented places on Cape Cod, a friend assumed she was always welcome but never offered to help. Last time she insisted on coming despite being asked not to. I agreed two days before, then cancelled hours at the last minute. Ghosted after.
Laura Kaye 1 year ago
Being the nice one sometimes sucks. I grew up in a s****y home and it took YEARS to get out simply because I didn't have a license to drive and no public transport to get a better job. The only way I was able to get out of the house was with friends whom I met either at work or through other friends. One of these friends I became really good friends with, helped her when she dumped her abusive s****y boyfriend, took care of her kids and generally had a really good relationship with. Her only problem at the time was she sometimes asked for handouts, which I would sometimes oblige to simply because she did have 2 kids, was a single mom and lived in an apartment while I lived with my family and felt bad. When public transportation came to my area and I was able to finally afford driving lessons and subsequently get my first car, this was the first person I went to see. I was super pumped.
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Carol Emory 1 year ago
Had a high school friend that moved to Texas after graduating. Came home for a visit and, as I was driving her around, she makes a comment of "I don't believe in that." I said "Believe in what?" She pointed to a white truck driving by with a black guy behind the wheel and a white girl in the passenger seat. "Black guys dating white girls." My mother and father were divorced at this time and my mother's boyfriend was a very nice older black man that treated me like his own daughter. I said "Well don't say that in front of my mother, because her boyfriend is black." My friend got real quiet the rest of her visit and then ghosted me after that. 25 years later and she asks a mutual friend for my information. Nope. Don't need any racists in my life, tyvm.
ValdaDeDieu 1 year ago
You dodged a bullet there. From my experience, most racists are toxic human shells full of garbage. They're horrible in various increments to everyone in their life. Race just gives them an EXTRA outlet. If you think you're "friends" with someone racist, think again. Their racism is a red flag regarding their general lack of principles everywhere else. There may be exceptions to that rule; but I've never met one.
Load More Replies... Uncommon Boston 1 year ago
I have been too generous and kind -- sounds ridiculous, but it has ended several long friendships. I helped an older friend who lived on Cape Cod by taking care of her dogs for weeks at a time, purchased food, cooked, cleaned her rental unit, etc. Her son's wife, a known liar, convinced her i was taking advantage of her. My friend believed her. I took care of her dogs for free, suddenly she preferred to pay for dog kennel. One dog died. It hurt. Thanks Jen. Another friend lost her thesis word document. I spend three days typing from her working copies while she finished writing. I was accused writing parts of her thesis. It destroyed my credibility and was part of the reason I left grad school. She graduated. Later she asked to visit, nope. I rented places on Cape Cod, a friend assumed she was always welcome but never offered to help. Last time she insisted on coming despite being asked not to. I agreed two days before, then cancelled hours at the last minute. Ghosted after.
Laura Kaye 1 year ago
Being the nice one sometimes sucks. I grew up in a s****y home and it took YEARS to get out simply because I didn't have a license to drive and no public transport to get a better job. The only way I was able to get out of the house was with friends whom I met either at work or through other friends. One of these friends I became really good friends with, helped her when she dumped her abusive s****y boyfriend, took care of her kids and generally had a really good relationship with. Her only problem at the time was she sometimes asked for handouts, which I would sometimes oblige to simply because she did have 2 kids, was a single mom and lived in an apartment while I lived with my family and felt bad. When public transportation came to my area and I was able to finally afford driving lessons and subsequently get my first car, this was the first person I went to see. I was super pumped.
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