Join the Fun!

SprinklesMore8471 , christopher lemercier Report

Redditor u/imogen2797, who created the thread on r/AskReddit in the first place, told Bored Panda that she personally believes that jealousy and bullying lie at the core of toxic femininity, not manipulation and passive aggression.

"Unfortunately, both toxic femininity and toxic masculinity seem to have their roots deep in our society at this current stage. For someone who is in the firing line of this, I would suggest seeking support from like-minded women, as well as calling out toxic behaviors as they happen," she shared her thoughts on what someone should do if they find themselves a victim of toxic femininity. It's vital to have firm boundaries, as well as the courage to cut toxic people out of your life.

"People can (mostly) choose the people they surround themselves with, and if something isn’t serving you in a positive way, cut it out."

Someone Asks Internet Users To Share Examples Of What Toxic Femininity Looks Like, And Here Are 35 Of The Most Accurate Insights Assuming men are never the victim of physical abuse or intimidation.

Final score:

281points

POST

Allan 2 years ago

Justice for Johnny

121points

Meanwhile, for someone who recently figured out that they are a toxic individual, this sense of recognition is a good start. "I think 99% of women will at some point hold toxic views about other women in some way or another, but it is so important to value body autonomy and the rights that women have to choose what they want to do with their bodies and lives. In a world that is ruled by men, we need to lift up other women instead of tearing them down," the redditor said.

The author of the thread also opened up about the inspiration for the question. "I first heard the term ‘toxic femininity’ when I was scrolling through Instagram and saw a post that read, 'When are we gonna start talking about toxic femininity for a change?' To be honest, at first, I thought it was a cop-out written by men to deflect an issue that faces that community so heavily, back onto women. I posted to Reddit to get opinions on both sides and I realized that toxic femininity is actually a really prevalent issue that women face," she shared with us.

"On the one hand, I’m glad that the post got so much attention because it brings light to an issue that isn’t talked about very much. On the other hand, I did notice a lot of the comments were from men using the term ‘toxic femininity’ as a mask to hate on women and be sexist in general, e.g ‘acting as if men are put on earth to serve women,’ ‘most feminists,’ and ‘forever victimhood,’ ‘wanting the same wages as men but less work,’" the redditor stressed that some people have a very subjective understanding of toxicity and use it to further their own goals.

Someone Asks Internet Users To Share Examples Of What Toxic Femininity Looks Like, And Here Are 35 Of The Most Accurate Insights Girls who hit guys because they know the guy won’t hit them back

Snu99lyN1pples , Keira Burton Report

Final score:

265points

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Everything is fascinating. 2 years ago

This, thank you.

56points

“I think it is very important to highlight that people are not toxic as and of themselves. When we describe toxic masculinity, we do not mean that some men are toxic, we mean that the ideas and belief systems that promote strict and unrealistic ideals of masculinity are toxic—the beliefs are, not the men themselves,” psychotherapist Silva told Bored Panda.

“These beliefs may encourage unpleasant behaviors—behaviors can be challenged and changed too, but we don't need to change who they are, just what they believe and how they act upon those beliefs. The same goes for toxic femininity. Being kinder, more tolerant, and more caring involves talking and connecting to a diversity of people, rather than staying in the echo chamber of only interacting with the people sharing the same beliefs.”

The expert pointed out that everyone is flawed, whether they have toxic beliefs or not. “If you are aware that you have some flaws that get in the way of living a good life, you can see a therapist to make sense of it, learn to live with it, be kinder to yourself and also learn to challenge and change some of your thought and behavioral patterns to learn to live with your own integrity and values and not against them,” Silva said that reaching out to a professional for help can be a very important step in growing as a person.

Someone Asks Internet Users To Share Examples Of What Toxic Femininity Looks Like, And Here Are 35 Of The Most Accurate Insights Putting women down for choosing not to have children. As if the only reason we were put on earth was to be baby makers

unwiseeyes , Pixabay Report

Final score:

250points

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Caro Caro 2 years ago

This happened to me once. I was called "selfish". It still makes me angry when I think about it.

70points

Someone Asks Internet Users To Share Examples Of What Toxic Femininity Looks Like, And Here Are 35 Of The Most Accurate Insights "Real women have meat on their bones." No. No no. Real women exist regardless of size.

DestinyRamen , Billie Report

Final score:

218points

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Monday 2 years ago

I mean...real women do have meat on their bones. They also have blood and organs.

113points

Someone Asks Internet Users To Share Examples Of What Toxic Femininity Looks Like, And Here Are 35 Of The Most Accurate Insights I see a lot of body positive women that s**t on my girlfriend for working out and keeping her body hairless. They always say she should be more loving of her body and embrace her body hair.

It’s annoying. She does it cause SHE likes it. She goes to the gym and does deadlifts cause it empowers her and makes her feel AMAZING. Like, we all have different ideals and visions for our life. And after moisturizing herself and shaving she likes to rub her legs together like a cricket, and nobody should be taking that little slice of heaven from her.

Euowol , Sora Shimazaki Report

Final score:

213points

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Anjelika 2 years ago

If she wants to shave let her, if she wants to let it grow let her, her body she does what she wants

85points

According to Silva, toxic femininity is a rare phenomenon. “On the other hand, toxic masculinity is quite prevalent because our society is embedded in sexism against women and misogyny. Once again, we have an example of that when women have to fight for the human rights of abortion,” he said.

“Heterosexual men do not need to fight for their rights because traditionally they are the ones making the rules—which is the very roots of encouraging toxic masculinity. The only time when toxic femininity might be noticed is on social media on forums when women promote the idea that all men are bad, and to its extreme promoting the movement of 'kill all men'. This is what we call misandry, the hate of men.”

Someone Asks Internet Users To Share Examples Of What Toxic Femininity Looks Like, And Here Are 35 Of The Most Accurate Insights Fake domestic violence or r*pe accusations.

This is why I feel like the phrase "every woman should be believed" should be changed to "every woman should be taken seriously."

Not every woman is truthful, so we can't go in with the mindset of "oh, she's definitely innocent." At the same time, we can't let cases of false accusations prevent us from taking a case seriously because "she may be another liar."

Sadly, people are bound to make decisions on who's innocent and who's not without even watching the trial.

The_SnowQueen , Alex Green Report

Final score:

209points

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Nicole Herron 2 years ago

Using the asterisk to replace letters in words like "Rape"'' "suicide"and "murder" is so stupid and useless. Either type out the whole word or just stay away from the subjects.

51points

dream of delusion 2 years ago

actually, it’s possible BP is censoring it.

20points

Alei Griffieon 2 years ago

It usually gets censored if you dont

3points

Angel Williams 2 years ago (edited)

Most people write/type out words like that to prevent censoring in the respect of having it deleted or even demonetised - exactly why on social medias some people dont say certain words or names and instead change it for something similar or an obvious hint towards what theyre saying like saying "the beer named illness" or "passionate hugging" or "that aquaman starlet" people know exactly what is being referred to but dont want their posts/videos deleted or demonetised etc.

1point

Mattie 2 years ago

these words can be triggers for people, this is just a way to respect readers living with trauma of anxiety

0points

Oene Veltman 2 years ago

Agreed this stupid american neo puritanism is utterly insane. Sometime they star away so much of the word and sentence I cant make heads nor tales of the subject, I only know some puritans are upset by it for one or the other reason. Utterly infantile this starring

-2points

Tamara Kroonen 2 years ago

Some people get indeed triggered by certain words. The words sounds harsh and too confronting. What's wrong with a bit of decency to censor some vulgar words? It's called CONSIDERATION, ever heard of it?

-2points

Matthew Ince 2 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Monday 2 years ago

Fake accusations should be punished. If Jenny accuses Alex of rape, and the investigation finds that Alex is innocent, then Jenny should go to jail. False accusations ruin lives.

21points

Natalie Cilla 2 years ago

If it is proven that she falsely accused him on purpose, yes. Absolutely. If there was not enough evidence to convict him, no. Sometimes we will just never find out who lied…

10points

Rainy Day Wolf 2 years ago

but we're all aware those are about 5% of the cases, right?? most victims never report or even try to get justice because very little cases are taken seriously and rarely get justice... why are we giving so much attention to false accusations and so little to so many real ones?

8points

K Wit 2 years ago

Yes this gets thrown around way too much considering victims are never believed at all. We never talk about how abusers always get away w it even when found guilty. We never talk about how much abusers lie to discredit victims every single time and get away w it. We never talk about how victims are non stop terrorized and called liars even when they have proof w multiple victims coming forward too. We never talk about how victims are portrayed as clout chasers or money hungry even though they never benefit from coming forward. We never talk about how police automatically question the victims integrity and not the abusers. We never talk about how the victims past or current sexual relationships are questioned but not the abusers. We never say well victims are 95-97% telling the truth. We always bring up false accusations though wo fail

6points

LivingTheDream 2 years ago

Women are just as capable of lying as men. Women are just as capable of hurting others as men. Apparently 'Hate' is the one thing that demands equality between the sexes.

6points

El Dee 2 years ago

Every accusation SHOULD be believed AND investigated. Very VERY few accusations are false. Most are true and yet still go nowhere. The ones that are false and become public make all the headlines though and I believe, if proved beyond a reasonable doubt, that deliberately false accusation should carry a very heavy sentence. NB this is not to say that this should happen every time a woman won't testify, withdraws her statement etc. Fear is usually the motivator, either fear of the perpetrator or fear of the process itself..

2points

K Wit 2 years ago

Well said. This false accusation excuse is dangerous. Men and women are never believed it's very rare for them to be taken seriously and even when it goes to trial only one percent get a conviction. Victims are already made out to be giving false accusation right from the start. Sexual assault investigations need to be about the victim and the evidence they do have not about the evidence they think they don't have.

1point

Ally Joy 2 years ago

The percentage of fake accusations vs non reported rapes is huge. That is the story!

1point

Bonesko 2 years ago

True! 2% of accusations are determined to be false, while 80% of rape go unreported! I hate how some people use fake accusations as a go-to argument to essentially sweep sexual assault under the rug.

1point

Micah 2 years ago

I'd rather err on the side of believing the alleged victim, but if it's discovered that it was a false accusation made with malicious intent, then the accuser should have to face serious consequences.

1point

Tobias Reaper 2 years ago

i think false accusations are reason why a lot of victims aren't believed or dont come forward because they feel they wont be taken seriously

1point

K Wit 2 years ago

The most common reason is simply not being believed victims are never believed even w proof and witnesses. Men and women. False accusations are so uncommon. I didn't Worry about that when I didn't go to the police. I just knew for a fact I would be discredited and belittled and humiliated and retraumatized and called a liar. I was right when I went a few days later. This wasn't even a rape it was a sexual assault

6points

Samantha Kalitzki 7 months ago

False accusations should also be punished more severely

0points

Seadimo Monnapula 2 years ago

This is what happened in the DEPP V HEARD case. Shes trying to set a precedent that scares women. If you are truthful you will be believed

0points

Jessica Low 2 years ago

I personally know 2 women who search for men to accuse because they are searching for money.

0points

Eli Fisher 2 years ago

The people that make these fake accusations are the reason that actual victims don't get the justice they deserve. It's so insanely messed up. If you want the attention that bad maybe like... just be a decent person?

0points

Kate Jones 2 years ago (edited)

Not only that but the idea of believing every woman just because they are women is just another form of bias. We are in effect saying that women can't lie just like the big boys do. We're precious-izing women, which is another way to make women seem somehow weaker. Like they're too fragile and 'female' to know how to lie. I was at a work meeting and at the table were a bunch of women I didn't know from other regions, and I was just listening to them talk and one was talking about how she was going to claim her husband beat her or had a drinking problem in order to get full custody of the kid SOLELY to get more in child support. And the woman she was talking to wasn't appalled at all, she just warned her not to get remarried so she could keep collecting alimony.

0points

Kelzbelz79 2 years ago

So true that mud sticks and false allegations ruin lives, also make real victims suffer in silence for fear of not being believed, I honestly believe people who lie about this should be punished and named and shamed. When she was 15 my sons gf accused her ex of this because he hurt her (ended the relationship) she eventually admitted she lied but the damage was already done.you don't f**k with people's lives to get revenge!!

0points

Stephanie A Mutti 2 years ago

100% "taken seriously"!

0points

Bob Stuart 2 years ago

Any charge that never fails will be abused.

0points

Malaki Williams 2 years ago

i had a false rape accusation thank god no one believed her

0points

Bonesko 2 years ago

That must have been awful. Why do you think she accused you? None of my business, just curious

2points

Hugo Raible 2 years ago

The Johnny Depp vs Amber Heard case shows this again.

-2points

Monkeywrench Productions 2 years ago

but, metoo spent years telling us men were all rapists and murderers.. and then women had the f*****g GALL to wonder why men dont date anymore. f*****g lol

-2points

Bonesko 2 years ago

'women had the f*****g GALL to wonder why men dont date anymore.'? Uh, OK I don't think anybody has ever thought that, but I'll slide on by that. Nobody is saying that all men are rapists. Metoo isn't about demonizing men. Sexual assault, and harassment are things that are far too common, and rarely brought to light. There are over 400,000 victims of sexual assault each year. Most go unreported to police from reasons ranging from fear of retaliation, felt it was a personal matter, didn't think the police would believe them and/or would/could do anything. That was the case for me when I was raped when I was 17. Why wouldn't I and many survivors of sexual assault have such little faith that justice could be served? Because only something like 3% of rape reported AND actually led to an arrest, resulted in a conviction. Meaning 97% of reported rapists walk free.

1point

Someone Asks Internet Users To Share Examples Of What Toxic Femininity Looks Like, And Here Are 35 Of The Most Accurate Insights Amber Heard

nate2391 , Gage Skidmore Report

Final score:

203points

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Caro Caro 2 years ago

Amber TURD. She not only hurt Johnny but hurt the women struggling for safety, equal rights and justice.

102points

Someone Asks Internet Users To Share Examples Of What Toxic Femininity Looks Like, And Here Are 35 Of The Most Accurate Insights The quote “If you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my best.”

Basically expecting a partner to put up with your drama as proof of them actually being into you/making them jump through hoops to prove they’re into you.

Laleena_ , Keira Burton Report

Final score:

189points

POST

Supernatural 2 years ago

The male equivalent is the "only God can judge me" tattoo.....I will immediately judge you if you have that tattoo,especially if it's on your neck...

61points

Marshmallow_Skies , Polina Tankilevitch Report

Toxic women are often called ‘nice girls’ or even ‘Karens.’ They’re often egocentric, arrogant, put others down, and are entitled to the point of looking like Sunday cartoon villains. They firmly believe that the world owes them, and they will manipulate, lie, and cheat their way to whatever goal they have in mind. Everyone else be damned. So, in other words, not all that different from walking paragons of toxic masculinity (aka ‘nice guys’ and ‘Kyles’).

Redditor u/CTFOE_is_Fee, one of the moderators running the r/Nicegirls subreddit about toxic women, explained to Bored Panda during a previous interview why someone is a ‘nice girl.’

"Some of them are too immature to realize what they're doing. Others are that manipulative on purpose. Lastly, some do not even realize what they're doing," they told us.

#10

Someone Asks Internet Users To Share Examples Of What Toxic Femininity Looks Like, And Here Are 35 Of The Most Accurate Insights Telling mothers that they should “suck it up” and deal with postpartum depression without help because women from previous generations were able to raise children without any complaints.

No, Carol. I’m f**king miserable, and there’s nothing shameful about getting the treatment I need to cope with my depression.

Final score:

182points

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El Dee 2 years ago

This is STARTING to become a thing of the past. PPD and depression in women has begun to become accepted and those afflicted not to be marginalised. There's still a way to go and men's mental health should ALSO be treated similarly - it WILL happen..

33points

#11

Someone Asks Internet Users To Share Examples Of What Toxic Femininity Looks Like, And Here Are 35 Of The Most Accurate Insights Expecting all the affection and love in the world from their boyfriends and never showing a glimpse of it towards them. Men DO have feelings you know?

nabedid , RODNAE Productions Report

Final score:

179points

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El Dee 2 years ago

I feel that this is less about toxic femininity and more about people unable to feel love..

23points

#12

Saying that mothers who adopt aren't real moms. I'm adopted and I got all the love and support I needed from my mom. She continues to put her all into her kids and grandkids. I'll be damned if anyone says she isn't a real mom because she didn't give birth to me and my siblings.

fuksloot Report

Final score:

173points

POST

Commander OwO 2 years ago

Someone once said a quote, "Mom is a verb, not a noun" meaning one can nourish and care like a mom but not be one in actuality. I think it's a nice quote.

60points

They shared their opinion on where the line lies between actual, genuine niceness and fake, manipulative ‘niceness’ meant to exploit someone.

"Personally, for me, the line is drawn when you can tell that someone is being passive-aggressive; when you can sense the subdued maliciousness in their words and actions. If your gut is telling you that something is not genuine about the person then they probably are not genuine. I think we've all experienced a few relationships like that in our lives. I do not see there being a large grey area between the two. You know when someone is being kind or not,” moderator u/CTFOE_is_Fee said.

According to Forbes, toxic femininity in the workplace revolves around backstabbing others, failing to support other women in their success, as well as being a “tool of the patriarchy to undermine femininity.”

Toxic femininity is often expressed through passive aggression. “It’s when we allow relationships and productivity to suffer because we’re not being honest about our own objectives, or when we are assuming we know best with a ‘caring’ face. It's being a ‘Karen’ and it's not a step forward from patriarchal systems of control. It might not involve yelling, but it’s still manipulating other people,” Forbes writes, adding that the antidote to this and to toxic masculinity are good leadership skills.

#13

When we are blind supporters of other women. Like, a woman uninvited slapping another woman's ass isn't as bad because it's a woman. Cardi B drugging and robbing dudes isn't bad because men have done that to women for ever. We don't get passes because we've been victims.

Also, women who refuse to accept that men can also be victims of the patriarchy. Sure, it f**ks us all in different ways to different extents, but still.

hippiekait Report

Final score:

159points

POST

Tobias Reaper 2 years ago

amen sister

35points

#14

The whole “mamma bear” knows better than a medical professional about anything to with their children.

sworcha Report

Final score:

157points

POST

Frannie Kaplan 2 years ago

Haha god can this be higher please

34points

#15

Someone Asks Internet Users To Share Examples Of What Toxic Femininity Looks Like, And Here Are 35 Of The Most Accurate Insights The idea that women should be meek and pretty 24/7, and if you are a loud, tomboyish woman, you’re not a real woman.

As a lifelong tomboy, I’ve been put down a lot for not wearing makeup and doing “manly jobs”. I’ve actually got some internalized misogyny as a result. I have a much harder time trusting other women than I have trusting men, because in my experience, it’s mostly other women who accuse me of not being a woman.

camohorse , Charlie Firth Report

Final score:

150points

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B181 2 years ago

And the modern-day variation....If you're into soccer/climbing trees/computers/whatever "boyish" thing you happen to be in to - "are you sure you're not a lesbian?" or, and yes I've genuinely heard this asked of a 14-15 y/o girl once - "are you sure you're not actually a boy?". I'm 100% OK with gay or trans people, really I am, but trying to push someone into it because their hobbies happen to fall in the wrong box is at least as misogynistic as not accepting trans people. Accept that some girls may be...skater girls who like beer and trucks, but still are very much a girl and not a boy, okay?

13points

audreymarilynvivien , Katerina Holmes Report

#16

Someone Asks Internet Users To Share Examples Of What Toxic Femininity Looks Like, And Here Are 35 Of The Most Accurate Insights Placing your entire self-worth on being desirable to men, or assuming any woman who dislikes you must be jealous of your desirability. Not knowing who you are without male attention.

Final score:

134points

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LeighAnne Brown-Pedersen 2 years ago

Love yourself alone first. Please don’t expect anyone to complete you. Goes for a partner or a job or a child.

35points

#17

Someone Asks Internet Users To Share Examples Of What Toxic Femininity Looks Like, And Here Are 35 Of The Most Accurate Insights Thinking that being in a romantic relationship/marriage or being able to have children makes you inherently better than women who aren’t.

audreymarilynvivien , ira dulger Report

Final score:

116points

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El Dee 2 years ago

The desire to 'punch down' to make themselves feel better about the awful people that they are..

21points

#18

Someone Asks Internet Users To Share Examples Of What Toxic Femininity Looks Like, And Here Are 35 Of The Most Accurate Insights Defaulting to the female parental figure in all things child-related.

I worked an hour's drive away, my husband worked 15 minutes away. We clearly listed him as the primary emergency contact on all school forms and even noted that he was closest. We told the kid to specifically request they call Dad.

Every time there was an emergency, guess who got called? I would then instruct them to call my husband because my leaving work to take the kid home means they have to deal with an extra hour or so of projectile vomit (or whatever).

We ended up just listing his number as mine.

Stupid!

SilverDarner , Jordan Whitt Report

Final score:

113points

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El Dee 2 years ago

This is worse, this isn't really toxic femininity, this is discrimination by officialdom..

56points

#19

Using “feminism” as a shield to justify every s**tty thing they do.

Inevitable-Ad2560 Report

Final score:

113points

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Voodoops_13 2 years ago

ANYONE who tries to hijack the term Feminist/Feminism by equating it with being a b***h/ugly/angry/single/childless can f*** all the way off. Male or female, doesn't matter.

33points

#20

S*itting on stay at home moms or Sex Workers because you don't understand their choices . Feminism means we all get to choose our own path . Not everyone wants a high prowered career and that's Ok.

OlderWiserLesbian Report

Final score:

110points

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Mike Crow 2 years ago

There are many who are forced into the sex trade but I have met some sex workers and they did it by choice and were not forced into it. Changing the laws to protect them and not outlaw them will provide protection for the workers and help stop human trafficking.

42points

#21

"No man is ever allowed to hit a woman, in any circumstances."

Uh, hell no. I'm a woman, but I fully expect that if I started punching a guy or trying to k**l him, that he would be well within his rights to give me a slap. Being female doesn't mean you get to start physical fights and face no repercussions.

catsareniceDEATH Report

Final score:

108points

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Lisa Valen 2 years ago

Yay!

31points

#22

Someone Asks Internet Users To Share Examples Of What Toxic Femininity Looks Like, And Here Are 35 Of The Most Accurate Insights "If you gave birth through c-section, you're not a real mom."

What. The. F**k? Suddenly 9 months of pregnancy, a terrifying procedure and caring for a newborn doesn't count because MacDuff from his mother's womb was untimely ripped? Whose baby is this then, since apparently no mothers are present?

CaptValentine , Christian Bowen Report

Final score:

105points

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Monday 2 years ago

We should just clap back with equally ridiculous statements. "Oh you got a haircut? Wow guess you're no a real mom then!" or "Hey didn't I see you eating a sandwich yesterday? Real moms don't do that".

31points

#23

Someone Asks Internet Users To Share Examples Of What Toxic Femininity Looks Like, And Here Are 35 Of The Most Accurate Insights "all other girls are b*tches"

If you're a girl and think that, that's a you problem

Frogs-r-fun , RODNAE Productions Report

Final score:

102points

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Lisa Valen 2 years ago

Yep.

22points

#24

Someone Asks Internet Users To Share Examples Of What Toxic Femininity Looks Like, And Here Are 35 Of The Most Accurate Insights Karens are a prime example. They show peak entitlement found more often in women then men. Everything must be done for them. They are a mother or they're a "struggling" woman who should be given everything she wants.

There's also abusive women. Abusive men will hit you, abusive women will give you several mental and emotional disorders and claim you made it all up while you suffer alone in silence. I know this from personal experience having an abusive biological father and step mother.

If a woman does hit you, you aren't allowed to hit back. If you defend yourself you're the aggressor because... men big?

Lui_Le_Diamond Report

Final score:

98points

POST

Lewis Fisher Wells 2 years ago

this is true like im six foot two at fourteen if I get into a fight im the bad guy automatically because im scary

25points

VertibirdGoBoom , TranStudios Photography & Video Report

#25

Someone Asks Internet Users To Share Examples Of What Toxic Femininity Looks Like, And Here Are 35 Of The Most Accurate Insights Last week: 3 women admiring my fiancé’s new engagement ring (which is a bit flashy)

My fiancé tells them it’s lab-made, which is what she wanted

One of them responded with “Oh, that doesn’t count then”

Final score:

91points

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Joanne O'Brien 2 years ago

It's better for the enviornment

60points

#26

I had an ex who laughed and took advantage of me after I cried in front of her. She told me she didn’t see me as a man and that crying is for girls.

OkraFit3987 Report

Final score:

89points

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Swan 2 years ago

well go with another woman, don't stay with her !

32points

#27

Someone Asks Internet Users To Share Examples Of What Toxic Femininity Looks Like, And Here Are 35 Of The Most Accurate Insights The expectation of doing emotional labour. If you fall short of being the default caretaker/nurturer in any way, you are a bad woman. If you don’t put your family’s needs before your own all the time, you might be called a bad mom, a bad wife, or a bad daughter or sister, etc. Meanwhile women who sacrifice themselves completely to take care of others are good mothers, good wives, etc

Similarly, the overly glorified societal idea that a woman’s love is supposed to fix her partner. I read a lot of romance novels and wow is hetero romance content overwhelmingly saturated with the idea that even the most broken person (usually a man in the examples I have personally read) can be healed by the true love of the other person (usually a woman in the examples I have read). There’s no therapy, no focus on healthy ways to deal with trauma, just the idea that some woman can walk into some broken man’s life and completely heal him instantly with “true love”.

frankenshelley , Ksenia Chernaya Report

Final score:

83points

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Tigerpacingthecage 2 years ago

Yes it's very common and quite "accepted". But in reality internalized misogyny. You can see it on a structural level as well, like when I was in uni to become a social worker. We had about 90% women in class and most wanted to "help others" as their first priority. Among the men who took the program most wanted to have leadership positions and figured it was a quite easy field to advance in because well... we'll always need social work and it's universal enough to be able to go in different directions. I guess it's the same with nurses for example.

17points

#28

Someone Asks Internet Users To Share Examples Of What Toxic Femininity Looks Like, And Here Are 35 Of The Most Accurate Insights Using your period as an excuse to be physically or emotionally abusive.

Turns out my mom was just a b**ch, not PMS'ing.

Vanpotheosis , Afif Kusuma Report

Final score:

76points

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Swan 2 years ago

ah! about time

27points

#29

Being unable to critize another woman for sh*t she did since "women support each other". Has the exact same energy as frat guys saying "bro code".

Bi_Aint_Shi Report

Final score:

72points

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Swan 2 years ago

I wonder if harvey weinstein had a bro code ? why did everyone cover hhim ??

14points

#30

Mothers who tell their sons that they are less than equal, based on gender alone.

“A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle”

“The future is female, not male.”

That type of stuff.

We’re all in this world together and equally capable of greatness and kindness. Please don’t tell your kids otherwise. If you teach someone they’re “less than,” you’re giving them a lifelong hall pass to be a selfish jerk because you don’t need them anyway.

RoosterMcNut Report

Final score:

71points

POST

El Dee 2 years ago

This is true. We need to teach the men of the future that they are equal to women, no less nor more important. Society needs men to be the allies of all women in feminism which, by definition, benefits all in society..

23points

#31

Someone Asks Internet Users To Share Examples Of What Toxic Femininity Looks Like, And Here Are 35 Of The Most Accurate Insights Being all “Claire!! Hiiiii it’s soo good to seee youuuuu oh my goooodddd!!!!” in that obnoxious tone of voice, to every single woman in the group, then turning around and talking the most nasty gossip you can behind their backs or purposely being snaky to the group. This is so toxic, if you don’t like the people you spend time with then drop the mask and stop shoving “positive vibes” down their throats.

Talimorph , Zen Chung Report

Final score:

69points

POST

El Dee 2 years ago

Women are expected to be loving, nurturing and kind. If you are less than 100% in each dept it is noticed. Men are expected to be aggressive and to ignore emotions, when they do anything MORE than that it is noticed. The bar is set so high for women that it's easy to look like a harridan..

16points

#32

Someone Asks Internet Users To Share Examples Of What Toxic Femininity Looks Like, And Here Are 35 Of The Most Accurate Insights Girls who start an argument or fight with a stranger and expect their bf/husband/partner to be the one to handle the fall out.

mox44ah , Kaboompics .com Report

Final score:

68points

POST

Malaki Williams 2 years ago

messed up on many levels

12points

TheWhiteScourgeOfGod Report

#33

Just generally assuming men are made of emotional rubber and can bounce back from anything,then accusing a man of “male fragility” if they don’t.

When a guy has an really good platonic male friend who he enjoys spending time with , and a woman thinks it’s odd and says “ you two should get it over with and make out/have sex” as if men only become close if sex is involved.

Final score:

63points

POST

Tobias Reaper 2 years ago

yet if men do that with two female platonic friends they are called a pervert

16points

BrainHurtingJuice129 , Katerina Holmes Report

#34

Someone Asks Internet Users To Share Examples Of What Toxic Femininity Looks Like, And Here Are 35 Of The Most Accurate Insights Believing that its a man's job to impress her when she's dating. If you like someone ACT AS THOUGH YOU LIKE THEM. Dating is an equal exchange of time and emotional labour, if she feels like she needs further financial compensation beyond that (paying for the food/show/whatever it is) then maybe she don't like him enough.

Final score:

57points

POST

El Dee 2 years ago

This one is deeply ingrained. It's like an internalised form of self sabotage. Now things are beginning to change but I think it will be my grandchildren who benefit..

10points

#35

Someone Asks Internet Users To Share Examples Of What Toxic Femininity Looks Like, And Here Are 35 Of The Most Accurate Insights The "I get along with guys better."

I cringe because I used to be like this. Don't discount a whole gender. There's a lot of awesome women out there, find them and befriend them! Not all guys are awesome so why assume all women aren't?

mrs_krokodile , Crook & Marker Report

Final score:

50points

POST

Swan 2 years ago

each person has their preferences ! heterosexual and homosexual both discount a whole gender __ don't tell women what/OR WHO they should like !

23points

raxeira-etterath , SHVETS production Report

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#36

Someone Asks Internet Users To Share Examples Of What Toxic Femininity Looks Like, And Here Are 35 Of The Most Accurate Insights Queen bee bullying at the workplace. Basically, letting high school never end. About 60% of women experience it.

Final score:

22points

POST

Bob Stuart 2 years ago

Both men and women want 20% more to work for a woman boss. - Newsweek survey.

0points

#37

Someone Asks Internet Users To Share Examples Of What Toxic Femininity Looks Like, And Here Are 35 Of The Most Accurate Insights Shaming other girls/women for not doing/liking the sane things you do and implying that their preferences make them "not real women" or similar. Basically saying that your way to be a woman is the only valid way.

rinky79 , Polina Zimmerman Report

Final score:

21points

POST

Shay J 2 years ago

This is why I don't have many female friends. Everything is a comparison or competition. It's exhausting.

3points

#38

Someone Asks Internet Users To Share Examples Of What Toxic Femininity Looks Like, And Here Are 35 Of The Most Accurate Insights When a woman starts talking about what “a real man” would do in a given situation

ad4mant , Timur Weber Report

Final score:

20points

POST

El Dee 2 years ago

'Real Women' never talk about what 'Real Men' would do nor do they criticise others for not being 'Real Women' It's simply name calling in a slightly less obvious way..

3points

#39

Women who have no problem bullying, harassing and making all around horrible comments about men and their "fragile egos" but will then proceed to go off the deep end if someone says something even slightly negative about them

comalizard Report

Final score:

20points

POST

#40

Someone Asks Internet Users To Share Examples Of What Toxic Femininity Looks Like, And Here Are 35 Of The Most Accurate Insights I've started reading a lot of forums of expecting mothers and mothers, and is terrifying to see how much pressure there is regarding birthing and motherhood: "you'll never be a proper mother if you have a c-section"; "you will never bond properly/be a good mother if you don't breastfeed"; "if you don't do X or Y or Z your child will be unhappy/unloved/will die and it will be your fault".

And measuring a woman's worth over the power of their vaginas: "shame on you for doing IVF", "there must be something wrong if you had only miscarriages", "adopting is fine, but is the acceptance of failure", "bio moms are best moms".

Kaliforniah , Leah Kelley Report

Final score:

19points

POST

Lisa Valen 2 years ago

Yet many bio moms are abusive.

5points

Dutch Swimmer Goes Viral For Super Revealing Trunks During 2024 Olympics: “Is This Legal?”

See Also on Bored Panda

Thrill-Seeking Diver Jumps Down Extreme Waterslide, Ignoring The Strict Ban For Women

#41

Whatever is happening in Facebook birthing/mom groups. Some women are so out of touch with reality and high on toxic femininity that they think their uteruses are better than any doctor and that their feminine intuition supercedes any medical testing or intervention available today. Women are being brainwashed into skipping fetal testing and to avoid medical intervention even in life or death situations. It is literally killing mothers and babies and injuring a lot more.

no_ovaries_ Report

Final score:

19points

POST

Turt_Le 2 years ago

It's gone on for sometime in a different guise as 'old wives tales', but now there's a new paltform which is much more widespread

0points

Public-Juggernaut-56 Report

#42

Is it just me or is the term “Happy wife, happy life!” a little messed up? I’ve mostly been told this from women but idk it sounds purely a way to be controlling of your partner

Final score:

19points

POST

Katarzyna B. 2 years ago

Happy spouse, happy house

11points

YogurtDelicious6587 Report

#43

The vocab “Girl Boss/Boss Babe”. We aren’t girls, we are women, and we are simply bosses. We don’t say “Boy Boss” or “Boss Dude”. Women shouldn’t perpetuate this.

Also-women disregarding/questioning other women’s stories of sexual harassment.

Women acting superior than other women if they aren’t married and have kids. Or for that matter, minimizing stay at home moms. Or judging women with successful careers. It just needs to stop.

Final score:

19points

POST

Jacqlyn C Weir 2 years ago

Childless stay at home wives exist as well. Some of these women struggle with self worth because society doesn't find worth in a childless or jobless woman. There are reason for living this way, and even so. One should never feel like they have to explain themselves.

5points

Woman Put A Water Fountain With A Camera In Her Yard, Here Are 24 Photos Of Regular Visitors (New Pics)

See Also on Bored Panda

“Ma’am I Live Here”: Woman Refuses To Back Out Of Driveway, Learns A Lesson The Hard Way

#44

Older women bullying and harassing younger women starting the work force. I see this A LOT

Biffmcgee Report

Final score:

18points

POST

Tigerpacingthecage 2 years ago

Yeah, me too and it's sad. I'm old enough to not be in that position anymore but young enough to know what it felt like. But I also had a different take on it as years went by. I used to see older women as very bitter and sad and I thought it was their personality. Now I sort of understand that it's part of living a bit longer, maybe especially as a woman, too. You get tired of b******t and being held back on a different level and see these young women as naive and hopeful. Doesn't make it right though. We should lift them so they CAN be hopeful and have a better life instead of tearing them down to the same level of bitterness.

1point

#45

"Believe all women" is extremely toxic in my opinion. Allegations should be taken seriously. Automatically believing an accuser simply because they are a woman is toxic.

Pussiliquor69 Report

Final score:

18points

POST

Tobias Reaper 2 years ago

i agree with this because a false allegation even if proven false can destroy a mans life

7points

keenedge422 , Polina Tankilevitch Report

#46

Someone Asks Internet Users To Share Examples Of What Toxic Femininity Looks Like, And Here Are 35 Of The Most Accurate Insights Believing there is a certain way to be a woman and using social pressure to enforce that on other woman and punish those who act differently. Denigrating other women for not dressing fashionably or wearing makeup or putting family first or whatever their stereotype of being properly feminine is.

Final score:

17points

POST

Natasha 2 years ago

Or the opposite that I get sometimes, being put down for wearing makeup and wearing nice (mostly pink) outfits.

1point

#47

Someone Asks Internet Users To Share Examples Of What Toxic Femininity Looks Like, And Here Are 35 Of The Most Accurate Insights Either believing that women should be demure, gentle, non-confrontational, and submissive to men, OR going the complete opposite and thinking that acting like a self-centered jerk all the time and purposely hurting others means you are being a strong powerful goddess.

Neither is correct. Women should not have to be soft little flowers all the time, but it's also not okay to be a jerk. Assert yourself confidently but don't be a jerk about it.

GaimanitePkat , Rishabh Dharmani Report

Final score:

17points

POST

El Dee 2 years ago

People genuinely don't understand what assertive truly means..

3points

50 Of The Most Incredible Shots That Were Submitted To The Comedy Wildlife Photography Awards

See Also on Bored Panda

French Diver’s “Jewels” In Tight Swimming Trunks Become Talk Of The Town At Olympics

#48

Someone Asks Internet Users To Share Examples Of What Toxic Femininity Looks Like, And Here Are 35 Of The Most Accurate Insights Mom’s that over coddle their kids to the point they don’t have to do, and as a result can’t do, anything for themselves.

Incongruent , Ketut Subiyanto Report

Final score:

17points

POST

El Dee 2 years ago

Boys who can't cook, clean or look after themselves once they leave home. Girls who can't change a wheel, change a bulb etc..

4points

#49

Keeping kids away from fathers.

BlazeVenturaV2 Report

Final score:

17points

POST

El Dee 2 years ago

PAS, Parental Alienation Syndrome. Once it's gone so far it can actually be HARMFUL to reintroduce the father such is the level of fear/revulsion inculcated. This should be considered as being abusive to children..

6points

#50

Body positivity that only applies to women. Because some men are just too short…

PVT_PAY Report

Final score:

16points

POST

El Dee 2 years ago

Sad but true. If you want any kind of positivity extended to yourself you must be willing to extend it to others..

1point

Woman Moves Out Of Parents' Home After They Asked Her To Give Her Space To Brother, They Freak Out

#51

Abusive or possessive behavior, not only towards their husband/wife, but also towards friends and family

The classic “if you scream at me, I’ll call the police and tell them you hit me even though I’m the wrong here”

Strong_Month_3534 Report

Final score:

15points

POST

#52

Testing. This applies to testing their romantic partners just as much as their friends/family. Where they intentionally put someone in a situation that is rigged against them in order to judge them in some fashion based on their reaction.

I'm not claiming this is a feminine-only trait, but in my personal experience I've seen it come from women much more than men.

My sister's friend recently gave her permission to pursue a guy they were mutually attracted to. My sister did, and it turned out that the friend was only testing to see if my sister was "a real friend" or not. Yikes.

Aequitas2116 Report

Final score:

15points

POST

Alma Muminovic 2 years ago

What? That sounds dumb.

1point

See Also on Bored Panda

Mom Leaves $250k Inheritance To Son, Throws A Fit When Daughter Stops Looking After Her

#53

My sister once said I had toxic masculinity when I didn't want my nails painted. I've asked her to work out with me a few times and she always says "No, girls with muscles look like gross men."

yungScooter30 Report

Final score:

15points

POST

Ranch Dressing 2 years ago

The horror!

2points

#54

Thinking men are horndogs waiting to bestowed the gift of sex. Then becoming upset when a man isnt instantly hard or doesn't want to have sex.

Kaiisim Report

Final score:

15points

POST

Tigerpacingthecage 2 years ago

This one is so important. And I'm guilty of buying into this idea myself. I always felt it was something wrong in my relationship when the guy didn't want sex. Like all men would be constantly ready to go and if they are not it's something wrong with me, or them, or the relationship. It's really toxic. Of course men can have lower sex drives or just not be into it at the moment. And impotence issues are real and should be treated with respect, it doesn't make anyone less of a man.

7points

#55

Mother hens (matriarchs) controlling their group of friends: where they do, what they do, who they meet and associate with. Controlling people’s behaviour basically

You could consider Sl*t-Shaming as toxic feminity. As I understand, sl*t shaming more often occurs between women as a way to regulate casual sex and promiscuity so that women who don’t want to “give it away” won’t have to in order to compete in the dating scene

heatseekerdj Report

Final score:

14points

POST

El Dee 2 years ago

That's one way to look at it I suppose. As long as you are careful and ensure your kids are safe then no one should ever shame you..

1point

Woman Refuses To Chip In For Babysitting Because She Doesn’t Even Have Kids, Asks If She’s A Jerk

See Also on Bored Panda

“This Breaks My Heart”: People Stunned—And Angry—After Woman Buys Lost Luggage From Airport

#56

Someone Asks Internet Users To Share Examples Of What Toxic Femininity Looks Like, And Here Are 35 Of The Most Accurate Insights knowingly pursuing men in committed relationships/unavailable men, and then calling their partners “not true women” for being upset with said woman for seducing their man.

yes, I know the man is responsible too. I just don’t understand why women pursue unavailable men and believe it’s their “right” as single, independent women to.

OnlyAlbatross648 , Eliott Reyna Report

Final score:

14points

POST

LeighAnne Brown-Pedersen 2 years ago

It takes two to tango…. But you don’t have to agree to dance.

7points

#57

Women who excuse all their shortcomings by blaming men. It's such a weird deflect.

swisscheesefarts Report

Final score:

13points

POST

#58

I’m 21F, and so many girls around my age deliberately act stupid because they believe they will get men. They make superficial statements on topics that they barely know anything about, they don’t use common sense when approached with everyday situations, and they want to just present themselves as “hard to get.”

KeyProperty2134 Report

Final score:

13points

POST

Voodoops_13 2 years ago (edited)

Or they read it on some website, magazine or blog..."10 Things Women Do That Men Love"!

4points

"I Didn't Start The Dryer": Karen Gets Taught A Lesson After Throwing Out Neighbor's Wet Clothes

#59

That having a negative opinion about a female character instantly makes you a misogynist. I should be allowed to not like a movie despite the fact that it wasn't intended for my demographic. Sometimes its just poorly written.

shace616 Report

Final score:

13points

POST

Turt_Le 2 years ago

I didn't get along with my book club (and eventually left) for that reason

0points

See Also on Bored Panda

Guy Divorced 3 Years Ago Drops Off 3 Y.O. With His Ex-Wife Completely Out Of The Blue

#60

Cattiness or instant competition between women. For example, 1 woman works in a male-dominated office. Another woman is hired. The original woman automatically takes a disliking to the new girl, just because she is a girl (ie marking her territory or sensing competition).

Strict-Brick-5274 Report

Final score:

13points

POST

El Dee 2 years ago

I've seen this happen. It's about asserting dominance. Happens in female offices where there is only one or two men too..

0points

#61

Girls who are “not like other girls”, girls who are cruel to women who choose to stay at home to raise children, girls who expect men to pay for everything for them

ofsquire Report

Final score:

12points

POST

El Dee 2 years ago

You are neither more or less entitled than anyone else and you are no better/worse than someone in a different situation. Many years ago when women earned pennies compared to men doing similar jobs then it WAS reasonable that men pay for everything..

5points

#62

Playing both sides of the gender card. Wanting special treatment and chivalry. Insisting on equality at the same time as expecting to be treated everywhere they go.

In long term relationships when doing housework and watching the kids is falling into roles but expecting the guys to make the most money, do manual labor and that is just expected. Then when it comes to divorce getting as much alimony and exploiting every legal position to gain.

liarbility Report

Final score:

12points

POST

El Dee 2 years ago

Sounds like someone has had a bad time..

-1point

“All Three Shot Out Pink”: Triplets' Baby Shower Turns Sour, Pregnant Wife Wants A Divorce

See Also on Bored Panda

College Student Does Exactly As Told After Roommates Demand They Keep Their Stuff In Their Room

#63

The "Gay Friend" trend. It reinforces the idea that LGBT men are not real men, and are closer to women. This also applies to nonbinary people. It's an ideal that applies to both toxic masculinity and toxic femininity, and implies that femininity in any way simply makes you a woman, which is not the case, and encourages gatekeeping of gender.

rainbowequalsgay Report

Final score:

11points

POST

Chucky Cheezburger 2 years ago

To me, this trend also seems to make folks into "props" because it's trendy. No one should be treated like that.

3points

#64

Treating guys like s**t and being applauded for it because she's a "boss b**ch"

Shepard_Wrex14 Report

Final score:

11points

POST

#65

So one thing I've noticed raising a little girl, is that women all ask her who her favourite friend is. Ranking friendship is toxic.

Lave Report

Final score:

11points

POST

Turt_Le 2 years ago

What a bizzare question? I get relating to a young person can be difficult for some and typical questions I've heard asked of my children are "what grade are you in now?" "What do you want to be when you grow up?". The ones I shut down are "do you have a boyfriend yet?" Because of the insinuation that she should be sexually/romantically motivated. She's four Mavis, she's friends with everyone, even the dishwasher. Stop spouting innuendos at a child.

5points

#66

Attacks on my masculinity for not providing enough.

Being cheated on for not providing enough.

Having boundaries and being accused of being insecure or having an ego for having said boundaries.

Victimhood or no accountability, they can do no wrong and when they do wrong, I’m less of a man for showing emotion from being mad or sad about it.

List goes on…

vanedy Report

Final score:

10points

POST

Teresa Stabler 2 years ago

None of this is acceptable. Some people do run up credit card bills by living beyond their means, sometimes there are medical bills, etc, and sometimes people get laid off or fired for no fault of their own. To blame a man for life events is completely condescending and should never happen. Maybe she can go get a job to help out instead of putting everything on the man.

0points

#67

I work at a car repair shop. The amount of times I get “I don’t know if it’s because I’m a woman that you think I don’t know about cars but…”

I’m just sitting there like /surprisedpikachuface

Listen. I treat everyone the same, and for this very reason, am open and honest with women as if it was my own mom coming in for repair. Woman, man, whoever! I don’t want to set a precedent because I know there are a lot of seedy dudes out there, but god damnit. You’re a friggen equal, don’t bring that fufu s**t to my desk.

mathaiser Report

Final score:

10points

POST

El Dee 2 years ago

Lots of men know nothing about cars - they can't admit it of course due to toxic masculinity..

1point

peoplecallmedude797 Report

#68

My ex-boss (female) who spoke about feminism and woman empowerment and then gave my female colleague anxiety attacks though persistent bullying.

Final score:

9points

POST

Auntriarch 2 years ago

Sounds very familiar

0points

#69

Expecting ourselves and other women to conform to beauty standards.

BusydaydreamerA137 Report

Final score:

9points

POST

#70

Just dropping an ‘I hate men’ into a conversation with male coworkers. I have no idea how to respond to it and feel bad.

WHOOPS_WHOOPSIE Report

Final score:

9points

POST

Bob Stuart 2 years ago

Just say "Sexist!" and leave it at that.

1point

#71

Expecting to have greater say in parenting matters.

WarblingWalrusing Report

Final score:

9points

POST

Tigerpacingthecage 2 years ago

Agree (with the exception of pregnancy and childbirth because that is her body and only about that, like it or not). But otherwise I agree. To not have fathers decide and take an equal part of raising children is to shoot yourself in the foot. You should discuss and do parenting equally or you'll take on a lot of extra work. Let him buy them clothes, take the kids with him (he can handle it), or take equally part of family schedules and activities.

2points

#72

That girl back in HS that knew I sorta had a crush on her that would hit me up whenever she had a car issue or was simply looking for a free lunch.

Moots_point Report

Final score:

9points

POST

Chucky Cheezburger 2 years ago

I feel this.Been there, thankfully learned the lesson.

2points

throwaway_thursday32 Report

#73

you must like "feminine" things like make up, dresses, pink, ponies

liking "boy" things like sports, video game or getting dirty makes you a tomboy and thus you're a weirdo

Monika396 Report

Final score:

9points

POST

#74

“All men are evil,” and “believe all women”

CountRobbo Report

Final score:

8points

POST

Shaista Afridi 2 years ago

I agree as a female

3points

#75

Makeup and fashion fans bullying you for how you show your femininity and performing it not being your priority. If your makeup is not flawless and in trend, not okay. If you don't wear feminine, flattering clothes, not okay.

Final score:

6points

POST

El Dee 2 years ago

I notice the depiction (still) of women in magazines etc and compare them to our local paper's pictures in the marriage section. There is a great disparity between what men are finding attractive in a long term mate and what magazines are telling us we should look like. In other words this is being done deliberately to make us feel bad and buy products to 'fix' the problem..

0points

#76

I had a friend take me to meet a guy she liked because she wasn't sure if he was cute enough. I said he's cute but she decided he's not cute and so she flirted woth other guys in front of him so he would get the hint.

throwawaymassagequ Report

Final score:

6points

POST

Turt_Le 2 years ago

If you like someone go for it, the last thing you need is third party approval, unless your thruppling, in which case it would be a requirement

1point

Storytelling, journalism, and art are a core part of who I am. I've been writing and drawing ever since I could walk—there is nothing else I'd rather do. My formal education, however, is focused on politics, philosophy, and economics because I've always been curious about the gap between the ideal and the real. At work, I'm a Senior Writer and I cover a broad range of topics that I'm passionate about: from psychology and changes in work culture to healthy living, relationships, and design. In my spare time, I'm an avid hiker and reader, enjoy writing short stories, and love to doodle. I thrive when I'm outdoors, going on small adventures in nature. However, you can also find me enjoying a big mug of coffee with a good book (or ten) and entertaining friends with fantasy tabletop games and sci-fi movies.

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Austėja is a Photo Editor at Bored Panda with a BA in Photography.

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Austėja is a Photo Editor at Bored Panda with a BA in Photography.

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What do you think ?

POST

lenka 2 years ago

Only a very few of these are genuine examples of toxic femininity. Most of them are internalized misogyny and a whole lot of them are not toxic femininity but toxic culture perpetuated by both men and women.

22points

Pisco 2 years ago (edited)

I agree. Toxic femininity applies to what things are aceptable for a woman in your eyes. So a good example would be "csection is not real birth" or "you cannot be a real woman if you have short hair". Things like "men cannot be abused" are sexist but not toxic femininity. Same as "purses are for women only" or "men dont cry" is toxic masculinity but "women belong to the kitchen" is disgustingly sexist but not TM

10points

Dirk Daring 2 years ago

I know some women who push that "men are trash" ideology. They can say something like "Ugh, men just want women to (insert stereotype here)", and if I say, "Well I personally don't feel that way.", the derisive response I get is, "OOOOHHHH, so #NotAllMen, RIGHT?". It's rather reductive, and just teaches me to keep my mouth shut.

6points

Pezor Zass 2 years ago

ditto. i left an otherwise good online community because i got piled on for calling out someone's bad behaviour. like indisputably directly against the groups policies. i was told that doing so stifled her and women had been stifled throughout history, so it was misogynistic of me. if someone is openly and personally insulting another person, don't you have to call it out?

1point

Nancy Doughty 2 years ago

Lesbians being told they were supposed to be born male - and believing it. :(

4points

Pisco 2 years ago

Or just not stereotypically femenine women. As a kid i used to be told by the conservatives "you are not a real woman". Not i am told by the trans community that "I am not a real woman but a trans man in denial" just for not following gender roles. Instead of fighting gender roles they are reinforcing them.

6points

Nancy Doughty 2 years ago

My comment was not supposed to be a response to Abhinc, Cheri S. You think I'm anti-trans? I think you're homophobic.

1point

Cheri Smallbeck 2 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Rucha Vanarase 2 years ago

I have seen so many girls/women act dumb and stupid, bat their lashes, play with their hair, smile fakely just to "reel men in". I cannot stand it. And these are the women who are in "relationships" which end in a year. Then there's the ladies working hard out there on themselves and just because they're not giving men unnecessary attention and laughing in a high pitched tone, men don't want them.

2points

Huddo's sister 2 years ago

Working in the education field, it is the women who assume all male educators are inferior and/or likely to be child predators. I have known many women who basically bully men out of the school/field.

1point

Pezor Zass 2 years ago

Genuine question: Is there a point to making a distinction between "toxic masculinity" and "toxic femininity"? Aren't they both just the result of toxic gender roles in general? i don't see the point in arguing over whether one bad behaviour is an example of masculinity, femininity, patriarchy, matriarchy, whatever you want. it's all the same c**p, isn't it? Very happy to listen to different opinions because most people don't seem to want to discuss it.

1point

Ozacoter 2 years ago

Well they all steam from gender roles and sexism. But they afect women and men differently thats why people separates them. They are still symptoms of the same problem, sexism.

4points

RJ 2 years ago

One of the better BP posts in a while.

1point

Ranch Dressing 2 years ago

Everyone has made up their mind in the Amber vs Johnny case before the judge has

1point

Pisco 2 years ago

For me they are clearly both abusers

4points

Swan 2 years ago

I'm not letting a judge decide what reality is (deciding who's guilty by him doesn't warp reality) she falsly accused him and she falsly accused him !!!!

4points

Auntriarch 2 years ago

This is perfectly normal. Stupid and unhelpful, but normal. It's horrifying how much people decide before hearing the evidence

3points

Cori Davidson 1 year ago

From what I’ve seen on SM that doesn’t seem to be the case. Seems like support for Depp sky rocketed after the VA trial

0points

Everything is fascinating. 2 years ago

There's no doubt guys cause terrible problems for women. But my daughter seems to be caused more emotional harm by her female "friends". Nice to see these being confronted too. It's not an either/or thing. We can oppose both toxic masculinity and femininity without contradicting ourselves.

1point

Ahmad Hamad 2 years ago

WOW!! I never expected that from this website.

0points

Will I Will-Ham 2 years ago

Ok we had karen and amber but no one talks about ELLEN?

0points

John Baker 2 years ago

No, Silva, "toxic femininity" is *not* a rare phenomenon. Not at all.

0points

Tigerpacingthecage 2 years ago

Well it is rare in the sense that it most often isn't "toxic femininity" (or "toxic masculinity") but rather a product of internalized misogyny or the patriarchal structure. Just as bad, but if we see the problem from that view we have a chance to see, and do something about, the real problem instead of having some endless battle between genders of who is to blame.

3points

Sareaesque 2 years ago (edited)

I hate the toxic trend lately of some women viewing the existence of trans women as an attack on womanhood in general. Feminism is not attacking trans women for not being real women, it's not fighting against making spaces safe for trans people because of a belief that it makes women's spaces less safe, it is not attacking trans professionals because of an archaic definition of what a woman is and belief that their existence in professional roles negates years of progress on women's rights. Expanding the table doesn't devalue the seats which were already there, and gatekeeping womanhood hurts more people than it protects.

0points

Pisco 2 years ago

Same for the other way around. Claiming that certain acts, feelings or style are inherently feminine and if you like them you are a woman is extremely sexist. We need to delete gender roles but the trans community is reinforcing them.

5points

Swan 2 years ago

thank you

-1point

Auntriarch 2 years ago

Well put

-2points

Ally Joy 2 years ago

This is female bashing. Stop it!

-2points

Dodo 2 years ago

It's bashing toxic femininity. If you can't tell the difference, you might wanna look at yourself and the women you know.

1point

Pan 2 years ago

I think this one is missing: Flat out assuming all bad s$%t that happens to you, happens to you because you are female. Not even think 5 seconds about if this happened for a reason otger than that. It prevents them to learn from a mistake, or an honest criticism.

-3points

Pan 2 years ago

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Felipe Pereira de Sousa 2 years ago

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sofacushionfort 2 years ago

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POST

lenka 2 years ago

22points

Pisco 2 years ago (edited)

10points

Dirk Daring 2 years ago

6points

Pezor Zass 2 years ago

1point

Nancy Doughty 2 years ago

Lesbians being told they were supposed to be born male - and believing it. :(

4points

Pisco 2 years ago

6points

Nancy Doughty 2 years ago

My comment was not supposed to be a response to Abhinc, Cheri S. You think I'm anti-trans? I think you're homophobic.

1point

Cheri Smallbeck 2 years ago

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Rucha Vanarase 2 years ago

2points

Huddo's sister 2 years ago

1point

Pezor Zass 2 years ago

1point

Ozacoter 2 years ago

Well they all steam from gender roles and sexism. But they afect women and men differently thats why people separates them. They are still symptoms of the same problem, sexism.

4points

RJ 2 years ago

One of the better BP posts in a while.

1point

Ranch Dressing 2 years ago

Everyone has made up their mind in the Amber vs Johnny case before the judge has

1point

Pisco 2 years ago

For me they are clearly both abusers

4points