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It’s not all sunshine, rainbows, and delicious cookies after a homemade dinner when you’re part of a family. There are some… secrets there, in the nooks and crannies, behind smiles and twinkling eyes. Growing, spreading in the shadows. Or locked up and hidden away out of fear that somebody might accidentally stumble upon them. Most of them are shocking. Very few are pleasant. And often, once they get out, there’s no putting the genie back in the bottle.
Reddit users shared the family secrets that were finally spilled out into the light of day after user u/AbsoluteHavoc asked them to in a viral thread on r/AskReddit. The thread got over 70k upvotes and more than 18k comments. The secrets revealed there are quite jaw-dropping and some of them are far from pleasant. So be warned, dear Pandas! Scroll down if you’re feeling brave.
I reached out to redditor u/AbsoluteHavoc, who created the original thread about family secrets, to get their opinion. They were kind enough to answer Bored Panda's questions in detail. You'll find my full interview with the author of the thread below.
This isn’t the first time that Bored Panda has written about deep and dark secrets. When you’re done reading through this list, we invite you to take a peek at our earlier articles right here (family secrets) and here (babysitter secrets).
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
My uncle served in Vietnam. While over there, his troop found a baby that had been orphaned or abandoned. My uncle was shipping back to Australia soon and wanted to adopt him, but my aunt said no. My uncle's troop found a family to raise the baby, and that's the story the whole family knows. The secret is that my uncle and some other guys from his troop stayed in contact with the family and the kid, sending them money every month to help raise him and then to help him go to university. Eventually they helped him and his adoptive family move to Australia in the late '90s.
Samantha PandaNotBored 3 years ago
This should be made into a film . It’d be a real tear jerker too
Cigdem Kanburoğlu 3 years ago
There is a film about the same topic at Korean War. Its name is AYLA. It is indeed a tear jerker. And also a true story
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Dorothy Parker 3 years ago
The aunt missed an opportunity to enrich many lives at once. The uncle was part of our nation's finest.
ChickyChicky 3 years ago
The aunt may have had very good reasons for not wanting another child. I'm glad they were able to find a family for the kid.
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Marco Conti 3 years ago
A secret that should not be. I am not saying they should brag about it, but especially in the context of that war, the dedication of these troopers was more than commendable, it was extraordinary.
The author of the thread, u/AbsoluteHavoc, opened up to Bored Panda about what inspired them to ask the question about family secrets in the first place. "I wanted to make a thread on r/AskReddit that would gain some insight from a lot of people, but also to allow people to voice their opinions on family matters that they thought were shocking and surprising, and how it made an impact on their lives and their family lives," they told me.
"I had no idea it would end up getting over 70k upvotes. I was surprised by the number of people who had stories to tell and how the community positively responded to each one," they admitted that they were caught completely unaware by the fact that their thread resonated with so many people.
In the redditor's opinion, whether or not someone chooses to divulge their secrets to their partner or family is up to them and "can be beneficial both ways." On the one hand, openness can lead to trust; on the other hand, some secrets would ruin any relationship if revealed.
RELATED:
#2
My grandma didn't drive. I thought she couldn't, but it was just never discussed. One day, no one would take me to the store. Finally I said I'd just ask Grandma, and my cousin chimed in with, 'Grandma can't drive.' But Grandma said, 'Oh, you bet your sweet ass I can drive. They just don't let me!'
"Years later, my mom explained that during Prohibition, Grandma bootlegged alcohol for moonshiners. She was so successful at it that when the moonshiners were finally busted, her license was suspended by the state. Later in life, she was told she could petition for it back, but it came with an admission of guilt or some such. She told 'em to go to hell.
Dave P 3 years ago
thats not how it works, look at those still in jail for weed in states where it is now legal.
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#3
When I was 5 years old (1988), Santa Clause left a Nintendo on our front porch. It was wrapped in newspaper, and my parents had no idea who gifted it to us. My dad, particularly, tried to figure it out. He was always suspicious that it had been a family friend. It was by far the best gift of the year, and we played it all the time throughout our childhood.
My dad died in 2004.
Last Christmas, my mom explained that she was the one who had bought it and surreptitiously placed it on the porch. My dad really liked to be in control of things and had forbidden the purchase. She knew better. She didn't tell a soul for 30 years.
Demi Zwaan 3 years ago (edited)
Not really. She should've left his controlling ass. It's horrible you need to buy your kids a gift in secret and keep that secret until he died, because he FORBID her from buying it. That's not healthy.
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Danielle 3 years ago
I did something like this. A friend invited me to live with her and her family to help me escape a relationship. I was 19 or 20. I didnt have any money or family to rely on. Tjey helped me get a job and get some self confidence. Their family was well off. Downstairs washer cousin and her family that had recently immigrated. They on the other hand were struggling (financially and emotionally). They had only been there a couple weeks when i arrived. They wereall so closeand we all were good friends. As a thank you, i got the family downstairs a playstation. The son it was what he missed the most because he lost his connection to his friends. And his sister loved watching youtube videos. So i thought itd be great to get them one to help them out and thank the whole family. When they got it they flipped out, thinking it was bugged for thegovt to spy on them. I admitted to getting it but said it was used from a friend andfree. It wasnt but only way for them to accept. Ruined relationship
J R 3 years ago
You getting the gift ruined the relationship you had with them? Sorry, I'm confused by the last sentence...
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Mark Kelly 3 years ago
Pfft my dad let my mom buy me and my siblings a nice gifts like an Atari and Nintendo and all that in a computer
"Keeping secrets, especially involving family, can hamper communication and relationships that are crucial. It can also put a lot of strain on relationships and people may think that revealing family secrets will ruin the relationship they already have with others."
I asked the author of the thread whether they think that every single family has secrets that they wanted to stay hidden. "I think most families aren’t without a story. And within that story, there are possible secrets and controversial things that families want to keep hidden because they think it benefits the family as a whole by not coming clean about the issue," they told Bored Panda.
#4
My grandmother recently died. She was famous in our town for her amazing cooking and catering. Notably, her gravy was absolutely amazing. So delicious. She had a heart attack several years ago, and her near-death experience convinced her to share some of her secret recipes with me — all except her gravy recipe. When she died this spring, I was going through her pantry and found an entire bucket of KFC gravy mix. She was literally using KFC gravy mix as a base to make her incredible gravy. Huge scandal.
Cassie 3 years ago
My stepmother made her "famous" brownies for church and community events. These brownies were seriously hyped up and were constantly the star of fundraisers. They were just cheap store brand box mix from a grocery store called Giant.
Chaboom 3 years ago
I read a similar story years ago. This woman is running a successful bakeshop and this friend of hers bump into her at the grocery with a cart full of Betty Crocker cake mix.
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Margaret Martin 3 years ago
That explains WHY she couldn't give OP the recipe- she didn't actually know it. But- in the end OP did end up getting Grandma's Gravy recipe!
#5
My father died when I was 17. During the viewing, a young lady and her boyfriend showed up. She was probably two or three years older than me. Nobody recognized her, so she was asked why she was there; she stated she was there to see her father. My siblings and I were naturally confused; our mom just stood there shaking her head, and my uncles asked her to leave. She left crying in her boyfriend's arms. Our mother explained that our father had an affair years ago and that was our stepsister. I never heard any more about her, never learned her name, and have never met her. I would like to meet her and apologize for my family. Seeing her rejected and crying because she couldn't even attend a viewing for her dead father bothers me to this day.
Lord Mysticlaw 3 years ago
Half sister, not stepsister And if the mom knew, why didn't she stop the uncles from chasing her off? It's not her fault that their dad had an affair.
Vicky Zar 3 years ago
Came here to say this. All of it. But I imagine the Mom hated the half-sister. Somehow this seams to be the norm. Poor girl
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Poultry Geist 3 years ago
Yeah similiar situation happened to my friend but the dad wasn’t dead he was at work! My friend was 5 and a lady and a child came to door. The next thing my friend knew he was being introduced to his 4 1/2 year old sister! The woman that dropped her off was a social worker! My friends mom took that little girl in and raised her as if she was hers. They are early 40’s now and everyone still has a beautiful relationship!.. well the mom and dad ended up getting divorced some years later and are both happily remarried! To me that’s how you handle a situation like that! In my opinion moms a badass!
Sarah Bell 3 years ago
I really hope that they can find her one day. Maybe hire a PI or even check on the DNA testing websites sometimes they have places to indicate your looking for relatives.
Cathelijne Van 3 years ago
Surely you could try to find her via social media?! (I know this is from reddit but the post is archived)
#6
When my paternal grandfather died, the federal government reached out to do a state funeral. He was a colonel, so we didn't question it. Then the funeral came and they went ALL OUT! Huge procession, people showing up who are really big names, like heads of departments, senators, retired senators, people from the CIA — it was nuts, and we were all super confused. Turns out he was a key dude in the OSI during World War II, and when the OSI splintered into the CIA and Secret Service, he went the Secret Service route. He wasn't on the White House detail but instead worked in a covert office that dealt with counterfeiting and currency. For whatever reason, he told no one about all his work, and the only person who knew (my grandmother) was sworn to secrecy.
OlivierD 3 years ago
This is a super cool story, may he rest in peace. For the whatever reason he told no one about his work, well since his wife was sworn to secrecy, that might be a clue, no?
adiiantryx 3 years ago
well, i suppose she didn't go about telling people she was sworn to secrecy either
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AzKhaleesi 3 years ago
That is some super amazing James Bond stuff. What a cool story. (Also, I'm sorry for your loss)
Dave P 3 years ago
there is no covert office at the SecServ that deals with counterfeiting, that is their primary duty and what most agents do. They are very open about that. Presidential protection is their secondary duty and a much smaller section of agents. Also OSI was created in 1979, OSS was WW2 and it became the CIA, never splintered into the SecServ which has been around since the Civil War. Something is not adding up here
Amanda Nolting 3 years ago
My husband doesn't work for the CIA or anything but he does work with government assignments and has a certain level of security clearance. Every now and again he gets assignments out of the country and can't tell anyone where he's going or the exact day ahead of time. He also can't even hint at what he's doing. I'd be suspicious if his company didn't pay so well during those times lol.
Dave In MD 3 years ago (edited)
BS The OSI was a fictional government organization the Steve Austin worked for the in the TV series "The Six Million Dollar Man". The Air Force OSI didn't come into being till 1948. If the guy was in the Secret Service, why would people from the CIA show up at his funeral? The OSS of WWII fame later became the CIA. In the US a state funeral is reserved for a President.
Layla Corman 3 years ago (edited)
Interesting fact- The US Secret Service was set up in the beginning to investigate counterfeit cash. It wasn't until many years into their establishment that they began to protect the president.
"Every family has some type of obstacle they don’t want everyone else to endure, even if it involves other relatives. I think the number of answers and responses helped me learn something. I learned about the variety of problems that these people have gone through and how some of these issues can range from minor to major. Overall, I think r/AskReddit is a great platform to ask insightful questions and allow people to share their stories," they said that the thread that they made and the responses it got has been a very educational experience.
Earlier, I spoke about trust, transparency, privacy, and keeping secrets with certified relationship coach Alex Scot. She explained to me that there’s a difference between privacy and secrecy and we should be honest with our loved ones about the things that directly affect and impact them.
Alex told Bored Panda that we should imagine ourselves in the position of our partners or family members when considering whether or not to share something with them. Transparency is vital in romantic, as well as in familial relationships.
#7
My mother had a child when she was a teenager, and she had given him up for adoption to a family. After this, she went to college, got her degree, married my father, and gave birth to my 4 siblings and myself. ~30 years after giving her child up for adoption, I remember her getting a phone call and immediately locking herself in her room. I was about 12 at the time. I remember feeling scared because I could hear my mom crying, but she didn’t want to see anybody or talk about why she was crying.
On an evening later that week, my parents sat each of us kids down and told us about my mom’s past and explained that my half-brother had reached out to my mom wanting to meet her and get to know her. My dad had known ever since he and mom were dating in college, and I believe my oldest sister had been told previous to this point. But the rest of my siblings and myself and all of the in-laws on my dad side (my grandma, aunts, and uncles etc.) didn’t know about this part of her past. We are fairly religious/conservative, so it was really shocking at first.
My mom then flew out to the state where my half brother lived with her sisters and met him. Both my mom and my half brother were both very nervous about the whole thing, but by the end of their trip meeting each other, they got to rebuild a relationship. After a bit of time, we (my siblings and I) got to meet him too.
Fast forwarding to now, he’s since moved to our same state and we see him much more frequently. He’s in all of our family pictures, we see him occasionally for holidays and birthdays, and we all see him as part of our family. We’re a very close-knit and extroverted family, while he is much shyer, so at times he’s can be a bit more distant than we would like, but we give him his space. I know my mom stays in close touch with him, and we love it when he’s able to make it for family dinners and whatnot.
Back then, I was the youngest and (up til then) the only boy in my family, so I loved learning that I had an older brother. Now that I’m an adult, I sometimes get his old clothes because were roughly the same size. He’s got good taste too so I really lucked out haha. I love that this family secret was spilled and that we were able to welcome my brother into our family and have him in our lives.
Dorothy Parker 3 years ago
Really a lovely family. But mom gave him to a family at birth. Years later he reached out to her from where he was living with her sisters?
Micah 3 years ago
I think they mean the mom's sisters (OP's aunts) accompanied her on the trip.
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Katherine Boag 3 years ago
I have a bonus sister like this, my parents had a child 10 years before they had me and gave her up for adoption.
Lois L. LaBounty 3 years ago
Just found out, 2 months ago, that my maternal father had been married and divorced previously. His ex wife took the children and would not let them see him, EVER. My Mom has several half siblings. That none of has ever met. Of course Mom is 85 years old. So they would be older than that.
AnnaBanana 3 years ago
There is no "proper way" to handle this situation. It's a very individual experience and it's not always a good one. (I'm adopted and I've been through it.)
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Mina Becker 3 years ago
I'm adopted and thought about reaching out to my biomom too, but... Idk I don't think it's a very good idea. Not all stories end as happy as yours. I'm glad it went so well for all of you! ♥
LivingTheDream 3 years ago
I just found my birth parents last year after a DNA test I took after fighting cancer. I'm 54 and going to Montana this spring to connect with my birth father. Turns out he was in basic training and I was adopted out before he could get back. Had a ring for my mother and everything.
#8
Oh man. I got a gooder. my aunt met a fellow in germany and after some conversation found out that they had grown up in the same small town in Canada. The world is after all, a small place. So they keep going further down this childhood rabbit hole until realise that this guy is actually my aunts long lost half brother. As it turns out, my grandparents had a bit of a polyamorous thrupple going on shortly after they immigrated in the 50's but around the time my aunt was 6 the whole thing fell apart and the third partner took her kid, cut off all contact and apparently moved to germany. Rather than explaining things to their remaining 3 young children my grandparents opted to tell them that there had been a terrible car accident and that the other mom and son had died. And so my aunt and her sisters mourned and went on with their lifes with vague memories of another brother and aunt who had died when they were very young... untill my aunt met him in a bar in hamburg 36 years later.
Carole Reid 3 years ago
Amazing. I like the saying, "If you don't want any one to know, don't do it."
Concept-Peter Roosdorp 3 years ago
Sounds like a very stupid saying. I do plenty of things that I don't want people to know. My toilet proceedure for starters.
Load More Replies... Jo Choto 3 years ago
That is an absolutely amazing encounter. The chances are too small to even measure.
Marcellus II 3 years ago
Well given that there's 7billion people and you will seriously speak to about a 1000 in your life at least, chances are 1-in-7-million or better (=better chance than winning Powerball lottery). Actually chances are much better, as people don't randomly move around the world, they cluster very much --- a white american will move within the US most likely, a bit less likely to Europe, much less likely to China or other part of Asia, very unlikely to Africa, etc.
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2x4b523p 3 years ago
My cousin went on a business trip to a city on another continent. My other cousin, his brother, was returning from holidays, had layover in that city and enough time to explore the city for about half a day. The first one boarded an underground train, sat down and across him was sitting his brother. Neither had any idea the other will be in that city.
PandaGirl85 3 years ago
What you do today you'll have to sleep with tonight....or be woken up by somebody angry at you
#9
After my mom died, I found out the real story behind my parents' marriage. She came to my father's country to visit some of her relatives. She met my father, and after just one week, she asked him to marry her so she could stay in the country. My father accepted because he had no one else and his parents were pressing him to get married already. But the highlight of the story is that over some time, the two of them fell in love.
Vasana Phong 3 years ago (edited)
Well if it’s meant to be it’s meant be, me and my husband of 20 years lived 2 blocks from each other and never crossed paths
"If it can affect your partner or family, there absolutely should be transparency. Whenever in doubt, put yourself in the other person’s shoes and ask yourself what you would like if you were in their situation," the relationship coach told Bored Panda.
"If it wouldn’t impact them, then you have the option of keeping it to yourself. The difference between privacy and secrecy is that secrecy has a sense of shame, guilt, or knowing that your partner or family member wouldn’t be ok with whatever took place,” she said.
#10
I started having problems with my teeth. Spontaneous abscess that resulted in multiple root canals. My dentist did some looking into what the cause might be and found some really odd abnormalities with my incisor roots and nerves. When my next appointment came up, he was really quiet for a bit before verbally stumbling about. It turns out that what was happening with my teeth was a classic sign of inbreeding. I brought it up to my mom and she was like, 'Oh well, yeah, didn't you know?' Of course I didn't know! Turns out that not very far back in the family tree, several of my relatives decided that it was a good idea to get married to one another and no one bothered to mention it.
GirlFriday 3 years ago
My father's side of the family are polygamists and there is lots of inbreeding, marrying your half brother, first cousins, getting married without knowing who your birth mother is (many polygamist families don't tell the children which mother is their birth mother so the children "love them all equally") and rotten teeth and deviated septums are rampant with those people.
Marcellus II 3 years ago
Yes, but you need multiple generations of inbreeding, like in your case, not just once... I'm having trouble accepting the post as-is.
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AnnaBanana 3 years ago
Ok...reading that made my blood run cold. Because this is EXACTLY the problem I have with my teeth! I have lost so many teeth because of this!!! As an adoptee, I don't have any medical history on my biological father's side and my mother's side is pretty sketchy in the historical past also. Bloody hell, now I can't make duelling banjos references anymore!
GalWithGloves 3 years ago
Have you tried out any of the ancestry DNA kits out there? Might help fill in the family tree.
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Troux 3 years ago
OP and his mom's side are from, Canada. Carry on with the stereotyping, though.
Amanda Nolting 3 years ago
I mean to be fair, I don't know exactly when it would have been a good time to bring that up. Maybe not so much a secret as something that just isn't mentioned.
L hill 3 years ago
When i turned 21, many years ago, my maternal grandmother revealed my parents were cousins. They were divorced by that time. I also have dental issues, including a single tooth still in the gums but is in the middle of where my 2 front teeth are. When a dentist saw this the whole dental team came to see. Apparently it is very rare and after reading this article, makes sense as to why i have this and other dental issues. And NO, there are no banjos in my family.
#11
this is kind of messed up, but my parents told me my mom had a bad back because i pushed on her spine during birth. this was what i thought all my childhood. i think i was in my teens when my older brother told me my dad pushed my mom during an argument and she fell and had to have surgery.
I thought I ruined my moms back my entire childhood and those SOBs let me believe it :(
Niffler_13 3 years ago
In the words of Yondu "He May Have Been Your Father, But He Wasn't Your Daddy."
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L Venn 3 years ago
Why would you choose that lie? Just say she tripped over the carpet and hit her back when she fell, or something. Why make up something that blames your child?
C W 3 years ago
This!! If you're gonna make up a story anyways... why the hell blame the poor kid
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Jitka Šedová 3 years ago
Definitely, but the mom isn't much better, letting her kid get the blame.
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Lenka Smetanová 3 years ago (edited)
my grandma died when i was little... like 7 years old that time. She died at winter, and for 20 years I thought, It was my fault, that she was sick and died, because I did not clean the sled toboggan, I was paying with at the garden, she slipped and hurt herself while she cleaned those sleds by herself, ended up at hospital and died.... My father, rest in peace daddy, litteraly told me for several occasion that I did not cleaned those sleds and my grandma died because she hurt herself.... It was my mother this year, who told me, it was not my fault at all, that she was ill for long time, and the fact whe walked so weird was actually since her early childhood, when she broke her leg, the doctor put the leg in gypsum, but unfortunately then the WW II. start (she was from Ukraine), and she had her leg in that gypsum for several years, before german doctor put that gypsum down, her leg was badly eatn by lice's, but he saved her leg.... after a 20 years of self-blame I finally could put that hard rock off my shoulders.
#12
We went to my grandmother's for Christmas dinner, and my uncle drank too much. He kind of hinted that he had an affair with my mother. A couple of months and two DNA tests later, we found out my sister is actually his daughter. My dad never spoke to his brother again. And of course, my parents got divorced. And I needed a lot of therapy...and chocolate.
Bender Bending Rodríguez 3 years ago
Yep. Dentist bills can be very high.
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Lisa Samuelson 3 years ago
That's really sad for everyone!! The truth would have spared a lot of the drama!!
Once broken, trust is difficult to rebuild. Relationship coach Alex said that it’s “always a challenge” to reforge ties that were broken. Time, apparently, doesn’t heal all wounds equally.
"For smaller offenses, it will take less time, but for larger offenses, be prepared to be overly transparent for a time and hire a therapist or coach to walk you through the process. Trust takes consistency to rebuild and consistency equals effort over time."
#13
My defacto uncle (he and my aunt never married but have been together since well before I was born, with a few hiccups) has a child with another woman. It became common knowledge when the girl was 6 and was starting to understand the situation.
At first it was a bit scandalous but she's been welcomed with open arms by my entire family, including her half-siblings' maternal grandparents, she's treated the same as all the other kids her age. Her half-sister (my cousin) has a daughter the same age and they're best friends, go to the same high school, totally inseparable, technically aunt and niece haha. She comes to all our family events and she's an awesome kid, we're all stoked to have her in our family!
Lord Mysticlaw 3 years ago
This is so wholesome. My mom and dad were divorced when I was really young and I don't even feel very accepted by his family.
Nikki Sevven 3 years ago
People who insist that children pay for the "sins" of their parents are a special kind of awful.
Load More Replies... PandaGirl85 3 years ago
So incredibly wholesome. We need more of this. The girl did nothing wrong and is treated as so.
ThatOneWriter 3 years ago
I really love the stories of people accepting the children of unusual situations.
#14
My aunt wasn't my grandfather's child. He met my granny when my aunt was a very sick infant; she had polio and wasn't expected to survive. My granddad married my granny so she could get on his insurance and move to an area that had proper medical support. My granddad loved my aunt as if she was his own, and I never knew until she went to her bio dad's funeral when I was a teenager.
Diane Aguilar 3 years ago
This person's aunt WAS their "grandfather's child"; said grandfather was the aunt's TRUE father and 100% "his own" because a real father/dad is the one who raises the kid. Biology means almost nothing when talking about parenthood and we should stop prioritizing it so damned much.
AnnaBanana 3 years ago
Completely agree, Diane. As an adoptee, I've always felt this way. The old saying "blood is thicker than water" is a load of hooey!
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Marilyn Ransberry 3 years ago
I have the same story. My mom’s oldest sister was not my grandfather’s child. My grandmother was married to an abusive man and her father went to the USA and brought her home. We didn’t know until after my mom died we found her dad’s will in which he had identified my aunt as his stepdaughter.
Maggie Horner 3 years ago
Same...my grandfather married my grandmother when she was a single mom of 1 (Something Im sure didnt happen back in those days (late 1800's)...we always just thought of him as our Uncle...they had 6 other children and everyone treated him like the rest of the family...never knew who his dad was but my granddad was a lovely man who loved them all...
ThEboRedEsTpANdA 3 years ago
It's stories like these that restore my faith in people [I say people instead of humanity because huMANity]
#15
My sister cheated on her husband throughout her entire marriage to the point that all three of her kids have different biological fathers.
Jo Choto 3 years ago
That must have been so hard on a man to have loved and raised those children only to find out none are his biologically, and then the girls to find out that not only is dad NOT their father, but they all have different fathers.
Louis de Beaudrap 3 years ago
** BUT - it would be much better to have gone through life as a DAD to 3 daughters, than just simply their fathers who they didn't know .. ( Big, BIG difference between DAD and father.)
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Tara Raay 3 years ago (edited)
Why even get married then?!?!? Cheating really messes with peoples heads.
K W 3 years ago
Have cake and eat it too. Plus some serial cheaters marry and have a family because it gives them a veneer of respectability. And then there's the ones who really get off on doing that to their spouse/SO. My ex husband was all 3 of these.
Load More Replies... Lily bloom 3 years ago
I found out after my parents divorced that my mom cheated on my dad their entire marriage too. I do know that my brother and I are my dad's kids as we are the spitting image of him. I do suspect my mom had an abortion as she once asked him for $400 with no explanation of what the money was for.
Monkey Love 3 years ago
My nieces mom has 4 kids, 4 different fathers, 3 marriages.....and she's 37. She made my brother get a vasectomy because SHE didn't want to have any more kids. Eight years later guess who had another baby.
#16
Last week, I discovered that my dad died two years ago and no one bothered to tell me. I'd been looking for him. He was a drifter and I'm his only child. I stumbled across his headstone on findagrave.com while digging through Ancestry. His marker was labeled 'Beloved brother.' My aunts and uncles are pieces of s**t...I'm not hard to find. I don't even know how he died.
Spacey 3 years ago
You have a right to tell them how you feel, honestly and firmly. May gods help you process this tragedy. Plz don't keep it inside.
Zedrapazia 3 years ago
Pretty sure they did that to get everything the son could have inherited for themselves. He should sue them.
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Nicola Lagonigro 3 years ago
My dad died earlier this year. He'd divorced my Mom and had my half sister. None of his three daughters from his first marriage got a mention in the obit. No one let us know - we're not hard to find. You have my sympathy.
Atopher Bot 3 years ago
Huh. Just checked that site and found my fathers gravestone. 1st I am seeing it as my MIL cut me out of the whole thing to spite my mother.
Aye Emme 3 years ago
I had a similar experience. My dad "disowned" his whole family but we occasionally googled him hoping to keep track of where he lived and maybe get in touch again someday. He was big into Rush Limbaugh (pre-Trump days) and the rest of us are less political and lean democrat. Then my Aunt, his youngest sister came across one of those people finder/yellow pages type sites that gave a date of death. Turned out he had been sick and died a year earlier and his wife told none of his family either that he was sick in hospice, or that he'd died. I had to confirm it by ordering his death certificate and verifying the information was his when it arrived (the state he died in wouldn't confirm it was him over the phone and he has a common name). I also found his grave on findagrave.com.
Rick Hoppenbrouwer 3 years ago
My mother was dead 4 months before the Moron Church in formed the family. This increased my sever hate for religion.
Thay 3 years ago
This is my fear with my own dad. Im not close to that side of the family... Anymore. Used to be, but they did some questionable stuff that still has me in shock. I mean they all lied about what was going on with my grandpa as he was in critical condition in the hospital. I was always lied to about where my dad really was when I was visiting, expecting to see him. The last couple times I actually saw my dad he made me feel like a foolish little girl for ever thinking that I loved him and my childhood memories crumbled and im still broken about it.... I still have slight respect/ teeny bit of love for him just cuz he was my dad. But doubt anyone will tell me when he passes. I just have that feeling😔
GoddessOdd 3 years ago
My father abandoned us when I was just a kid. My sister spent the next 40 years looking for him (my brother and I thought he probably did us a favor, as a guy who abandons a hearing impaired woman with three kids isn't a nice guy). My sister finally found him thru findagrave.com, which I had never heard of. Apparently lots of people find deceased relatives there.
#17
After I was molested by my uncle, it came out he had done this to another one of my sisters and my family covered it up, particularly my mother. Now I know why my sister didn’t like how close my uncle got to me when I was younger.
Lord Mysticlaw 3 years ago
How tf does a mother cover this up and allow this man to be near her children again???
Mark Fuller 3 years ago
Oddly, not that uncommon. A friend of mine has virtually no relationship with her mother or brothers because they refuse to accept that she was abused by the father as a child/young woman, leading to an eating disorder and many more issues... Seriously, her family have abandoned her, in favour of a child abuser and determined that she's being dishonest and attention seeking. The last thing she wants is attention from anyone.
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Eiram 3 years ago (edited)
I wish child molesters didn't have a statute of limitations on prosecution... I know four that should never be allowed in society again.
Rebecca Trinkner 3 years ago
I don't understand how/why a family would cover that up. Seems like that would make the girls feel shame. They did nothing wrong and should be able to talk about it and process that. What a shame.
tuzdayschild 3 years ago
Back in the day you did not talk about 'these things'. Truth be told, we just started talking about it and bringing it to light just a few of years ago. Hallelujah!
ThEboRedEsTpANdA 3 years ago
because of the 'particularly my mother' part, I'm assuming its the OP's maternal uncle
BabaBizzle 3 years ago
Your mother is worse than him for allowing it and not protecting her children! She’s not worthy of being a parent . It’s vile she would let him do that to her kids. They deserve a pit filled with snakes and no way out.
#18
My cousin is actually my sister. Apparently my mom got pregnant really young, and her much older sister adopted my sister and raised her as her own.
May 3 years ago
Ah, the classic family secret. There used to be so many of these - or variations of it
Ashlea Saunders 3 years ago
Yep, I few years ago I decided to do some ancestry research and create a big family tree going back several generations. I'd always thought it was strange my uncle was 19 years older than my mum. Turns out my mum is my uncle's daughter and my grandmother raised her as her own daughter. So my grandma is actually my great grandma and my uncle is my grandfather.
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Kishibe Angelo 3 years ago
my step uncle had a child with my step mom and my step mom married my dad therefore i have a siscuz. true story
Denise Rosenberry 3 years ago
My mom was actually the adopted one in the same family scenario. My grandfather had an affair with my grandmother's sister. The sister was 18. My grandmother took the baby in as her own. My mom found out by accident after my grandparents had passed away. My mom never got to meet her birth mother because she had died years earlier.
Roland Gosselin 3 years ago
For nearly four decades, Jack Nicholson believed that his mother, June, was his sister, and that his grandmother, Ethel May, was his mother.
Rose the Cook 3 years ago
A member of my father's extended family had a child to a married man when in her early teens. Her parents adopted the boy and told him his mother was his sister. I don't know if he ever found out the truth.
Frannie Kaplan 3 years ago
Yup just like all throughout history. Didn't stroke anyone as odd that in the 50s women had some kids 10 or 15 years apart?
Jo Choto 3 years ago
I know a family where there is an adoptee, and when my friend introduced me to her "cousin" it was so obvious to me that it was her daughter that she must have had when she was about 15. But nobody in the family talked about it. Nobody discussed anything about it, so I kept my mouth shut.
Eiram 3 years ago
Everyone be careful of misnomer. Even though she was adopted by a family member she is still called sister, not cousin (unless that's the local slang like in native influenced areas).
Niffler_13 3 years ago
Not if they weren't aware of it, and the children were told they were cousins. My Aunt's daughter was raised as her sister and it wasn't until she died that we learned the truth.
Load More Replies... #19
My grandfather was an atomic soldier. Instead of sending him to fight in the Korean War, they sent him to Nevada, where he witnessed the mushroom cloud. After that was over, he was ordered to march to the detonation point, where he was unwittingly exposed to high amounts of radiation. Luckily for my family, my grandpa is now in his nineties and the rest of us are cancer-free and fairly healthy, but this is medical information that we really should have known earlier!
May 3 years ago
Thankfully, the likelihood of radiation having an effect on the offspring of an exposed male, is very low, but grandpa was very lucky indeed not to be affected.
Candia Lee 3 years ago
Your ignorance is astonishing. Please read up on effects of ionizing radiation on gonads and offspring. Such exposure can lead to a variety of genetic disorders and diseases.
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Dorothy Parker 3 years ago
I believe that was the test that created the fallout related cancer that killed at least 90 out of a crew of 220 making the movie The Conqueror. John Wayne and Susan Hayward died from it. Granddad was fortunate.
Diane Aguilar 3 years ago (edited)
You are correct, because they shot that film in Nevada down wind from where all the nuclear testing was happening. Funny thing -- I don't remember which governmental official (edit: or it could've been someone involved in the film's production who decided on the filming location?) said this but when they found out about this he said something like, "Oh dear god, I don't want to have been the one to have helped kill The Duke." ("The Duke" being John Wayne's nickname, if there are any people around who don't know that.)
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Brandy Grote 3 years ago
I knew someone at Bikini (besides Grandpa, who photographed events there). Every year or so, the VA would pull one of his teeth and grind them up to study the radioactivity in them. He said the technicians would be all decked out in protective gear, but the regular sailors would be shirtless, cut off dungarees because it was so hot, and were exposed to a lot of rads.
Rick Hoppenbrouwer 3 years ago
Remember all those people that said you had a certain glow about you.
#20
I see a lot of stories about people finding out that who they thought was their parents weren’t the people raising them and this one is a little bit different.
My dad always thought his father who raised him wasn’t his biodad and the father thought the same. He was treated terribly by his father because the father was told he couldn’t have children and my father was born prematurely (but at a healthy weight). So, everyone assumed my grandmother had an affair and got pregnant with my dad. It was to the point that after my grandmother died, my grandfather failed to even mention to his new wife that he had a son and grandchild (me).
Years later, my dad gets an AncestryDNA test for him and me. He find out that his dad was actually his biodad. It was shocking and sad.
Dorothy Parker 3 years ago
Too awful. Actor Alan Cumming wrote of his experience which was the more common one. His father knew and was horribly cruel to him, but good to his brother.
ThatOneWriter 3 years ago
I have no sympathy for the man who mistreated a child. I feel bad for OP's dad, however. He was completely innocent and still he was mistreated. Even if he HAD been the product of an affair, he never should have been mistreated.
Mina Becker 3 years ago
That is terrible af. But also a prove that blood ISN'T thicker than water.
Marcellus II 3 years ago
Wait, how does a test for "him and me" show in any way that him and his dad are related (or not)? I don't get it.
Mazer 3 years ago (edited)
DNA tests. Anyone and everyone taking DNA tests can see who they are biologically related to (or are not related to). These tests can shine a light on the reality of who is related to who and their heritage. It’s all very fascinating until the light hits some of the skeletons hidden away in hoped nobody will ever know their secrets. DNA kits can be a mixed blessing
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#21
Found out my grandma had a baby as a teenager, and my great-grandparents forced her to give him up for adoption. Forty years later, he found us.
Kassiopeia 3 years ago
I hope you mean the part where the half brother found them, and not the part where the great-grandparents forced the grandma to give the child up for adoption
Load More Replies... Jo Choto 3 years ago
That happened in our family. Sadly, the adopted child wanted nothing to do with us.
Daisychain 3 years ago
The opposite for me. We know my biological family and they want nothing to do with me. Can we say double the abandonment issues?
Load More Replies... BarBeeGirl 3 years ago (edited)
It was a different time. They actually had homes for “unwed mothers” where a girl “in trouble” would go until she gave birth. The girls had very little choice in what happened to them and their baby
Waco Bayless 3 years ago
I found out that my grandmother had an older sister and that my great-grandmother had given her to a woman who couldn't have children.
Ham Explosion 3 years ago
Why is having children while a teen a weird thing? My mom had me at 17.
#22
My fathers brother killed 4 girls when he was in high school. My father was the one who found out and told the police.
Waco Bayless 3 years ago
My grandfather's brother killed his first wife and went to prison for it. He later remarried and was then accused and convicted of killing his second wife although he swore he didn't do it.
BarBeeGirl 3 years ago
Thank god for your dad. God knows how many people he would have killed if he wasn’t stopped
CultOfBambi 3 years ago
Uncle can refer to a variety of family relationships - the fact it was his father's own brother is pertinent to the story so makes sense it's mentioned specifically.
Load More Replies... #23
Ever since I was younger my grandmother on my mom’s side would always behave strangely at dinner. If you were looking at a dinner menu , she would see what entree you were looking at and say, “Wow that sounds good! Can I split that with you?”
Same thing with appetizers, drinks, literally everything. “Hey wanna try my soda?” It always struck me as odd and some what annoying because I don’t like splitting food. She would creepily watch as you ate your food and didn’t take a bite of hers until you swallowed yours.
She became estranged from my family several years ago for a multitude of reasons (gambling, asking for money, harassment, and her overall past history of abuse against my mom when she was growing up). I then asked my mom why my grandma always behaves so strange at dinner. Well turns out my grandma is paranoid that her food will be poisoned. She refuses to take a bite of food or drink until someone else “tested” it first. It creeps me out to think that she theoretically thought the food was poisoned and had ME try it to make sure it wasn’t. Waiting intently to make sure I didn’t drop dead or have some sort of reaction after taking a bite. Love you too Grandma!
Demi Zwaan 3 years ago
So she had a mental disorder and instead of getting her help, the family just... checked out. Lovely.
Rebecca Trinkner 3 years ago
When my son was 9/10 he had the same fear and would have panic attacks at resturaunts. He sure didn't have other people "test" his food first. We didn't find out until he was 16 that he is Autistic. Back then he was just diagnosed with anxiety disorder. May not be the same with her, but, food for thought, pun not intended.
Nyree Rose 3 years ago
She very well may have been Autistic too. Lots of mental illnesses or disorders were undiagnosed. My grandmother developed some mental issues out of nowhere. Thinking back lot of us narrowed down to untreated postpartum depression. Back then being depressed after having kids was unheard of, cuz women are supposed to WANT this!!! 15 married & having a first kid, by the time she was 23 there were 6. Grandfather may not have been the great man we thought he was, leaving her fending for herself a lot cuz he was “being a man”. Gone untreated for years I can see how she got there!!
Load More Replies... AnnaBanana 3 years ago
I was paranoid for about three months while taking some meds that didn't agree with my brain. It's not fun for anyone concerned and I can honestly say that you can't help what you're doing. Feeling like people are 'after you' or watching you 24/7 is terrifying!
Rebecca Marple-Hulme 3 years ago
Well she obviously has a mental illness that hasn’t been treated.
Marcellus II 3 years ago
I think the poster mis-read that information: Gran thinking she's being poisoned isn't using her granddaughter as canary/guinea pig; gran is assuming ONLY HER food is poisoned so granddaughter's safe. The great mathematician Kurt Gödel developed the same paranoia and only ate what his wife ate; I think she died or was long-term away (hospitalized?), and he died eventually from malnutrition --- point blank refusing to eat anything.
Potato 3 years ago
If she thought only her own food was poisoned, then why wait until the other person swallowed it?
Load More Replies... #24
This is years ago, and I only got a few rough details, but my baby mama's dad wound up getting caught in a sting trying to purchase a teenage girl. He had a separate apartment all set up, transferred the funds and when he went to the "delivery" meet, was arrested by the feds.
Katie Brandon 3 years ago
Wait let me get this strait, he was going to BUY an actual human being?!?! WTAF
Demi Zwaan 3 years ago
My baby mama? Not your wife, girlfriend, ex? That's all she was, an incubator for your offspring? Ugh.
Nathan Pogorzala 3 years ago (edited)
It is African American vernacular, a legitimate English dialect. It just means the mother of a child who a person is no longer in relationship with. No other hidden meaning.
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Rebecca Respect2Glory 2 years ago
Child & Human Trafficking is out of control. The Clinton's never helped Haiti. But, they did help themselves to taking thousands of children through the years. The Clinton Foundation has been under investigation since the 80's at least. KILLery currently owns the line of EVERGREEN Shipping Containers. Navy Seals jammed those ships in the Suez Canal so they could rescue children and people in those shipping containers. The Trump's had stopped international trafficking while DJT was in office. Jim Caviezal released a movie about how widespread Child & Human Trafficking is, and there are people in our govt, HELLywood, Disney and more are guilty of cannibalism, murder, rape and trafficking. There is 1 MILLION children reported missing in USA every year. Now, we find out that there are millions of PERVERTS hurting children. Luke 17:2... It would be better to have a millstone hung around your neck and to be thrown into the sea than to cause one of these little ones to stumble.
Rebecca Respect2Glory 2 years ago
Why 'Sound of Freedom' is so controversial that theaters are refunding tickets or turning off air conditioning in attempts to deter people from seeing the movie. The movie was released in 4th of July 2023.
Load More Replies... #25
After my mom’s mom passed away, a severely-disabled, wheelchair-bound man attended my grandmother’s funeral. It wasn’t until that moment that my mom learned this man was a brother she never knew existed, who was born mentally-handicapped & had been institutionalized since his birth.
lazy panda 3 years ago
We just learned of a cousin who was alive in the early 1900s who basically was forgotten by the family. Turns out she was sent to an institution and was murdered there.
Charlie Taube 3 years ago
Depending on how handicapped he was this is ether sad or downright sadistic.
Brandy Grote 3 years ago
Hmmm, how many thalidomide babies are now appearing as their parents die?
#26
About a month ago, my mother-in-law's 88-year-old sister revealed on her death bed that her husband's best friend was actually the father of all four of her children. Her husband was an abusive jerk, by all accounts. While everyone was shocked, no one was saddened by this news.
Susie Elle 3 years ago
He could've been infertile without knowing about it
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Jo Choto 3 years ago
Again, let's all be really, really grateful for being able to divorce and live independently as women, so we don't have to have women go through these nightmares any more.
Susie Elle 3 years ago
I won't be grateful for something that should've been normal in the first place. I'm happy about it, but not grateful.
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BarBeeGirl 3 years ago
When my FIL died, my BIL was sad of course. But then his mother told him not to be sad -/ Gerry wasn’t his real dad Turns out he knew she was pregnant by someone else when he married her but they swore to take it to their graves She told her son this the very day he died so I guess he took it to the grave
Veronica Sjöberg 3 years ago
That's no excuse. If you are mad at your spouse or they have a behavior that you can't handle (infidelity, addiction and so on) - you leave. You never go down the path of abuse to punish them - thats not your job.
Load More Replies... #27
My mother often had stories like:
"At your age, we got up at 4am to work on the farm, after the job, we went home to have lunch with your grandfather, then we walked 10km to go to school, and when we were back , we used to work in the field in a tractor until it was 6pm to go and cook dinner for your grandfather."
And me like "Yeah but ... he didn't work the farm with you in the morning?" and she was changing the subject.
I learned in Easter that my grandfather was alcoholic, got drunk every night, didn't get up in the morning to go to work, or was in fake jobs to lie to the family and go to drink, while the children had to go. in elementary school and manage a farm.
Then he was in prison because he touched the neighbour's children.
When he got out of prison, he took out a loan of $ 30,000 in my grandmother's name, and ran away with the money.
Then he died a few years later.
My grandmother bought herself an used Ford LTD, and no one cried at the funeral. 30 years later, I learn who my grandfather was.
Lilly S. 3 years ago
I have a "similar" story where my grandpa was an alcoholic who used to spend all his money on booze and women. He wasn't physically abusive though. However, he's been sober since I was born (I've never seen him even slightly tipsy) and is super nice now, I was shook when I found out
#28
I always had an Aunt Candy. I never knew why we called her that when her real name was Karen. Turns out Candy was a prostitute and my uncle was her #1 customer. They later married and she kept the name Candy for some odd reason.
Mermaid Elle-Jaye 3 years ago
I think it’s kinda sweet she could keep her work name/ nickname without it causing drama.
ZAPanda 3 years ago
Isn't "candy" a bit of a giveaway? I am pretty sure that's the go-to name.
AnnaBanana 3 years ago
Candace isn't that uncommon. I know at least two Candys.
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Veronica Sjöberg 3 years ago
Well, maybe it was a way of holding on to that identity. Maybe she liked being a person of her own so she kept it even when married? It makes sence to me.
#29
My grandmother had an affair with the gynecologist who delivered my dad. We learned about this after she died when we found some of the letters they exchanged.
tuzdayschild 3 years ago
That's the funniest thing I've read this year. Well done Troux.
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#30
Found out my uncle is actually my brother. My mom had him when she was young, so my grandparents raised him.
Otter 3 years ago
Back in the early-mid 20th century, that was considered "the right thing to do". If a young girl got pregnant, safe and legal abortions were not an option, and giving the baby to her parents meant the child got a "respectable" upbringing from his biological family and no stigma of illegitimacy. Of course nobody cared about the young mother's feelings in this, having to treat her own child like a dirty secret and giving them up completely when someone was willing to marry her, but then she'd broken society's rules and needed to suffer.
#31
My great-grandma was Cherokee. I took a DNA test and have no Cherokee ancestry. (I have questions.)
Dave P 3 years ago
Lots of cases of people who lied of about Cherokee Ancestry, about 40% of African Americ and and 50% of Whites who claimed from family stories to have Cherokee Ancestry, do not have it, and those family stories were made up. Quite Possible great grandma was not cherokee
Nicki 3 years ago
This happens so much in African American families, my mom swore up and down that we had Native American blood in our family. Turns out that I have literally 0% in my DNA (thanks Ancestry.com). I found out I have more Scottish roots (17%) than Native American 🤣🤣
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Kate 3 years ago
Remember, you got half of the genes from someone with half of the genes from someone with half her genes.
Candia Lee 3 years ago
You can't dilute ancestry into nonexistence. They found a descendant of Cheddar Man. They can tell if you have Neanderthal. OP is not related to great-grandma.
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SueMcB 3 years ago
In doing genealogy, I'm told there isn't a big Native American registry, so sometimes it doesn't show up. This may or may not be the issue.
Destiny Kruse 3 years ago
That is the issue. I'm not Cherokee but I'm related to a small tribe in the Carolinas. So much so that I could join the tribe if I wanted, and have family members that have. But my DNA results show absolutely no trace of Native American ancestry.
Load More Replies... Bob Standen 3 years ago
Here in Australia we have a problem of 'whites' claiming to have 'Aboriginal' blood, so they can claim money, jobs and positions they are not entitled to. Problem is that Aboriginals don't throw back, so each generation gets 'whiter', they are taking advantage of that. If challenged to prove their ancestry they scream 'racist', and 'they feel triggered'. Fortunately the Aboriginals themselves have started to 'out' the imposters by using 'Elders' to find if they have any connections at all. A lot of 'white' imposters have been publicly exposed this way.
AnnaBanana 3 years ago
Didn't they change the law recently to say that proof of ancestry is required to make this claim? Solely due to the fact that so many whites, or even people with absolutely miniscule amounts of aboriginal heritage, were wrongly claiming benefits. As an Aussie, this really disgusts me - everyone in this country seems to be trying to rip someone else off!
Load More Replies... Jo Choto 3 years ago
It is really, really common for white Americans to claim Cherokee ancestry. Cherokee is the favorite, because apparently, they were considered to be the best-looking Native Americans by the whites. You don't hear people ever saying, "Yeah, my great grandfather was a Navajo" for example. It's mostly Cherokee, and sometimes Sioux. Anyway, fact is, it's simply not true. A DNA test would not be able to specify "Cherokee" ancestry, but it WOULD show up as Asian if you had any. Chances are, the Cherokee was used to explain away dark skin, and depending where you are from in the USA, you might either be part black, or have south American ancestry. I would love to see your breakdown, and I could explain it to you!
May 3 years ago
Surely there must be DNA markers for Native American? My DNA test came back with markers specific to the region of Norway that I'm from.
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SpookyPanda 3 years ago
My dad and uncle claimed the same thing; said their grandma was part Choctaw. Between 23andMe for myself, my dad, and my sister, and also Ancestry for me, there's not an ounce of any Native American. But there is a teeny drop of African there, so there's that... Makes you wonder how these stories start.
Lily Mae Kitty 3 years ago
you just answered your own question. guessing at some point, someone who looked somewhat african passed themselves off as native american instead of "black." It was very common, "passing" as anything other than black to fit into society better.
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nothingisreal 3 years ago
Everyone I know that lives where I live in America says they have "Cherokee Blood.." including my Granny and my Mother In Law..and yet, my DNA tests show none and my husband's tests show none. I get that DNA is passed in different increments, but I would think there would be some Indigenous markers in there. I have Indigenous Puerto Rico, but not Indigenous North America. Its strange.
nothingisreal 3 years ago
To add to that, my grandfather is from PR. So that's where that came from.
Load More Replies... Scrupulous Panda 3 years ago
Many Americans believe that they have a Cherokee great grandmother or even a “Cherokee princess” for a great grandmother. I came across an article years ago explaining the phenomenon. Apparently the US government “purchased” lands from the Cherokee people but most of them refused the payment because they didn’t want to be forced to relocate. When news got out that the money was gaining interest and just sitting there colonisers decided to start the myth in their families that they were descended from Cherokee so that their children would be entitled to a settlement. 😠
#32
My great-great-grandfather was exiled and banned from Missouri for being a sheep thief.
fire bug 3 years ago
He came from a time and place where men were men.... and the sheep were scared.
Sean Glynn 3 years ago (edited)
My paternal great-grandfather was a wanted chicken thief in southern Missouri. He got an unknown girl pregnant with my grandfather and left the state. My grandfather's story after birth is a book in itself, but we never found out his mothers name. Great-grandfather moved tp california, got married, and had daughters. One of them married a california state supreme court judge!
CultOfBambi 3 years ago
My Irish granddad used to claim that our ancestors were kicked out of Scotland for sheep-stealing and I always thought it was yet another of his tall-tales. The family name is the same as a town in Scotland (Paisley) and way back in the 17th century there actually were a lot of Scottish folk resettled in what is now NI (in order to weaken the native Irish population's control of the area). Sometimes people who were accused/convicted of crimes were given the option of resettlement rather than prison, so it might actually be true!
#33
My uncles are infamous criminals who killed multiple people. I thought they bred dogs.
Julia Atkinson 3 years ago
Every true crime fan on this thread is now speculating about cases involving killer brothers
Kiaya Thompson 3 years ago
My nanna lived round the corner from the krays as a child
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#34
The scars on a elder family member's wrist where not from a botched suicide. They were from her mom trying to 'protect' herself and her kids from the approaching red army. (That was at the end of WW II in Germany). This made it so much worse.
Dorothy Parker 3 years ago (edited)
Was the mom going to kill herself and her children to avoid being tortured by the red army? I just looked it up, the expected sexual atrocities were what the red army, the Soviets, were known for.
Lenka Smetanová 3 years ago (edited)
heh... yeah Red Army is well known for that.... like... in the East europe mostly... and in France and Italy, American soldiers did the same thing.... war is disgusting no matter the side!!!
Load More Replies... Ti Wa 3 years ago
There is a lot of horrible history attached to this story. The Germans invaded the Eastern Front with merciless brutality. And when the Red Army took back that land they hadn't only survived a gruelling war where life was completely worthless- they also witnessed the horrors the Germans left behind. A German couldn't expect any mercy from the advancing fury of the Red Army. Millions of Germans fled and those who couldn't get away often saved themselves by choosing an "easy" end for themselves and their kin. The Red Army still causes a certain horror in Germany till today.
snipergun 3 years ago
Both and all armies did horrible things in wars, one is no worse than other. They're equally bad.
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Demi Zwaan 3 years ago
She tried to kill her kids and herself before the red army could get to them. Thus protect is in quotation marks, because in one way she protects them from what the army will do to them, but in another, dying isn't really protecting.
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Lois L. LaBounty 3 years ago
Sexual atrocities is a good reason for an attempted murder/suicide. Also In the 40’s & 50’s rape was still the woman’s fault. She was labeled as a s**t. No matter their age.
Anna Tribe 3 years ago
I was 8 when my mother's brother raped me in 1981. She told me that her brother wouldn't have done it if I hadn't forced him to do it?! Took my first overdose not long after and all she did when I got home from being on the children's ward for a week (she didn't visit and I had to walk 6 miles home when I was released because I didn't have money for bus fare) was complain that I'd taken her painkillers (not prescription) so she had to buy more. She really hated me
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Glen MacLeod 3 years ago
My father served in the war and he met men coming home from Europe in transport ships who'd been in Berlin. We they declared the sectors the Russians did not want to withdraw to their sector. American troops told him they had to go back in and fight the Russians house to house to get them out. This is not in the history books.
#35
I only just recently heard about this, but my grandmother had gotten a little drunk with my dad and brother a month or so ago and started talking about our great uncle Ferber (not sure on the spelling), but from what I heard he apparently killed quite a few people and buried them on some family-owned land in a swamp.
GoddessOdd 3 years ago (edited)
Yes indeed they are, and there is no statute of limitations on murder. I read a book not very long ago about a daughter who started having flash back memories of her dad murdering a girl. She went to therapy and eventually remembered enough that they could locate the remains and charged and convicted her father of murder.
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Mateo Buysse 3 years ago (edited)
And do authorities know this ? Why did he do it ? is he in jail ? I have so many questions.
Wandaluzt 3 years ago
Which you can't ask here because it was posted on Reddit...
Load More Replies... #36
My dad passed away 2 years ago. He and my mom were married for 34 years. He was a good dad and husband, I have no ill-memories of him. Just found out that for the middle 10 years he was living a double life and had many mistresses on the side. Now my whole childhood feels like a sham. I don't know what was real and what was fabricated.
May 3 years ago
His affairs had nothing to do with his role as a father - so that part was real. Who he was as a person outside of that, is another story.
Rissie 3 years ago
I disagree. It is interconnected very much. And him being a loyal man to be trusted is not what he was. Treating people one way while risking that bond while they are not looking is not a trusting relationship. It is what it feels like. A sham.
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El muerto 3 years ago
really, people need to get that...you might be horrible at some things and be great at others...a good father/mother can be a horrible husband/wife, friend or whatever...most people are like that, someone you know and think of as being wonderful, might be horrible at other times...and most people are very good at hiding their indiscretions and dark sides...everybody is like that. but some peoples dark sides are darker than others
Jeffrey Mallia 3 years ago
He was a good dad.... period...... You don't really know what went on between him and your mum ........... I know exactly what I'm talking about.
DDmaybeandor 3 years ago
That’s true. Parents can have, and even embrace complicated relationships when it comes to love and sex. If he was a good Dad and was at least kind to your mother, best not to worry about it. Having mistresses doesn’t necessarily make him a bad person. It certainly doesn’t mean he loved you any less.
Load More Replies... Bob Standen 3 years ago
My father was a salesman who travelled interstate. He was having sex every chance he could. Did an Ancestry.com test and I may have hundreds of half brothers and sisters, thanks Dad.
Lily bloom 3 years ago
Same here. My dad's friend told me of my mom's infidelity after their divorce. It explained so many things from my childhood. I remember two instances from when I was very young of seeing my mom kissing a man that was not my dad (and being told they were just hugging as friends) or being left literally kicking and screaming at my grandmother's as my mom snuck out the back door to meet one of the many men she cheated with.
Sushi 3 years ago
My ex husband cheated a lot on me, with many women. He's an incredible dad to our son though. Don't change your view of your dad if he was a good one!
Lenka Smetanová 3 years ago
my father had several mistresses too, and we actually knew about it sice childhood.... but I know he liked me and my sister very much.... later my sister star hated him for this and what he did to our mom... but I knew he liked me, and I never found a heart to just leave him... also they had me pretty late, in their 30's and my sister was 8 years older, so I was still at school when those dramas started, so I even have no choice than stay with daddy... but I loved him and he loved me. In some sick way, he loved my mother too...
#37
My mom cheated on my dad with my now-stepfather. I knew the divorce was in 1996, but my mom and stepfather started dating in 1995. On my 18th birthday, my stepfather confessed to me in private that they had an affair and he still feels awful because he feels like he broke up the family. Some years later, my stepmother told me that my mom actually kicked out my dad without telling him why. She just 'needed a break.' My dad later found out through the landlord that my stepfather had moved in.
Jimmydeluxx 3 years ago
Similar story here. Had the courage to ask my mom about it last year (after 30 years) but she told me she wasn't ready to talk about it and that's fine. She knows that I know and she will talk about it in her own time
Ellie Rosser 3 years ago
Why the f**k would you feel the need to tell the kid this? All it does is makes YOU feel better for beng all truthful and makes the kid feel worse about the whole thing. Selfish d***s.
ThEboRedEsTpANdA 3 years ago
So I have a brother, and his friend (let's call him J) married at 23 after a 1-year-dating-four-month-engagement. After literally a month, both J and his partner realised they both liked someone else. Because of the short marriage, and the fact they were both quite young, the divorce was easy and they're still great friends. (don't worry, I have permission to tell this story, also thank you for reading)
#38
My mother is kid number 7 of 10. My aunt, the fourth kid, was born in 1945. She looked at her ancestry and found out that she has a different father from everyone else. She was devastated. There was always a rumor that there was an affair, but nobody talked about it. She has so many questions, but nobody's alive to answer her.
Jo Choto 3 years ago
When you are a kid, you accept so many things without question. My grandmother had five kids and my dad was the oldest. It was only as an adult that some cousins and I had a chat and realized that the five kids were by four different fathers. Turns out my grandmother had two children out of wedlock with my father's father, and then he died and she was on her own and had to make a lot of sacrifices to take care of her family, which resulted in three more children. I'm 55 and I only found out last year the name of my grandfather.
Marcellus II 3 years ago
I'm not sure I'd get upset. The people who you remember are the people that took care of you and were around; the specific guy who long before that gave you half of the very first cells and nothing else --- not that important or memorable.
GoddessOdd 3 years ago
I think there were a lot of babies born like this during the war years. Life was uncertain, and people were very lonely.
#39
The nanny I had when I was younger was actually my dad's attempted sister-wife.
Jonathan 3 years ago
I don't know why, but that is funny. I struggle to keep my wife happy, can't imagine trying to keep two happy.
Marcellus II 3 years ago (edited)
"Why a man would marry a woman is a mystery. Why a man would marry two women is a bigamy-stery."
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ZAPanda 3 years ago
I wonder when a religion will permit women to take multiple husbands? Or is that just like totally out of this world?
Nadja Lambacher 3 years ago
I watched a documentary about a tribe in Asia where women marry several brothers.
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Andrew Pugg 3 years ago
A sister wife is when a husband gets a blessing for a 2nd wife or as many wices as he wants. It's called plural marriage. Only the first wife is legal. They all live together and raise each others children etc. The husband alternates between wives. Its called Poligamy.
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Shelby Jackson 3 years ago
FLDS. LDS supposedly no longer practices it. The Fundamentalist Latter Day Saints still do although illegally in most places. If. You don't know who Warren Jeffs is, look up that peach of a man lol.
Load More Replies... #40
My dad fathered a child in high school. His side of the family knew, as did my mom. We found out, years after he died, that we have a half sister.
Jo Choto 3 years ago
So he took no responsibility for the child he produced? He opted out of being a parent? He didn't support the child? I will never understand how this is acceptable to anyone. It takes two people to make a baby and two people should bear that responsibility for life.
Katy McMouse 3 years ago
It's not necessarily the boy's fault- it's entirely plausible that the young father was forbidden from the child's life, even if the young mother was allowed to keep the baby. Shame and ignorance can create terrible situations for all involved.
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Lucy Anders 3 years ago
You do know you can click on the username under the post to go to the reddit post. The OP explains the situation more there.
Waco Bayless 3 years ago
My ex had a son with his then-wife who was 4 years old when our daughter was born. We split up shortly after she was born. His ex-wife went on to remarry and her husband adopted my ex's son. A few years ago my daughter made contact with her half-brother through Facebook only to find out he knew nothing about her nor did he know that the man he called dad was not his biological father. I don't know how his mother explained this to him but, I wouldn't want to be her.
#41
Relative did not just fall off a bridge with her baby, she jumped. It seems obvious in hindsight but they reported it differently both in the news and to younger family members.
Mamabear76 3 years ago
It's heartbreaking when someone commits suicide but this is doubly heartbreaking that she felt the need to take her baby with her. Murder-suicide is awful.
#42
My parents 'had' to get married. They always told us they got married in 1961, but it was 1962, three months before my sister was born. What's amusing is that my father was an accountant who was insanely fast with math. Whenever he was asked how many years they'd been married, he'd be off by one. My mother would correct him through clenched teeth, and then my father would nod and agree.
Jo Choto 3 years ago
I'll never forget when I was helping my grandmother clean out some stuff and I came across her marriage certificate which was dated four months before my mother's birth. I thought it was kinda funny, but she was absolutely mortified. So glad that attitudes have changed.
Guido Pisano 3 years ago
my grandma used to say that she knew a lot of people who gave birth at 7 months of pregnancy a 3.5kg baby...
Load More Replies... Annamagelic 3 years ago
I have been told that my BIL came to a shocking realization at my in laws 30th anniversary celebration, when it occurred to him that his 30th birthday was only 5 months away.
ThEboRedEsTpANdA 3 years ago (edited)
The t-shirt in the pic hurts my eyes when I scroll using the arrow buttons
Candia Lee 3 years ago
It's pretty cool when I scroll quickly up and down on my phone, too.
Load More Replies... #43
When my sister was diagnosed with cancer and her survival chances were low, it inevitably came out that she wasn’t my sister. My parents must have felt like we should all know the truth, just in case. She survived her treatment and will always be my sister.
Random Panda 3 years ago (edited)
Half-sister, apparently. OP's dad wasn't her dad. I have no idea why OP said she wasn't her sister, when they share a mother. It would make more sense if the sister was adopted.
Load More Replies... #44
I apparently have an older sister that lives on the other side of the country. I tried talking about it with my family and they said I was "airing dirty laundry". I'm just like "a human f**king being isn't dirty laundry".
#45
My great grandfather didn't die of cancer. He died from complications after being shot when one of his businesses was being robbed. Maybe. He also spent a lot of time in Atlantic City. He also had a lot of partners in the Teamsters and other unions in coal country. Also, everyone called him "smiling Tony' but his name wasn't Tony. He died in the 60s, long before my time, but when my great grandmother died 20 years ago, a very old guy showed up to the funeral in a white suit and all of the oldest people in my family kisses his hand. When I asked, no one knew who he was. My grandfather moved his family away from central PA in the late 60s and disconnected from all of this but, there it is.
Dave P 3 years ago
Someone with teamster connection back then, and went to Atlantic City, that alone gives off Mobster vibes, the rest of the story confirms it.
readingthequibbler 3 years ago
My grandpa moved his family to Michigan because he was asked if he wanted to join in on the family buisness. Very obvious what that means since my mom was born in New Jersey.
Load More Replies... Mermaid Elle-Jaye 3 years ago
Sounds like it 😝 I pictured an old ray liotta from goodfellas in the suit 😂
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M O'Connell 3 years ago
It sounds like he died of lead poisoning. That was relatively common affliction of union leaders back in the day.
#46
When my dad was about 18 he got into an argument with his younger brother (my uncle, bit of a dick now, about 15 at the time) ended the argument by telling my dad that his dad wasnt his biological father. He confronted my nan and the truth came out. The worst part was the whole village knew but not my dad. Mad respect for my grandad though, he married a woman who already had a child in the 50's. Something which was quite controversial back then.
Jo Choto 3 years ago
My uncle by marriage had an older brother who had a different father. The dad married the mom with a son already (in the '30s) and then had my uncle. Everything was fine until the dad died decades later. His will showed that he had disinherited the first-born because he was not a "real (family name)". I think everyone was absolutely horrified, not least the adopted son.
Kiaya Thompson 3 years ago
My great grandfather married my great grandmother even though she already had a child out of wedlock (1940s). He wasn’t a great guy but he adopted my nanna and put up with her hurricane of a mother.
Candia Lee 3 years ago
My fella told me his ex and her brother weren't their dad's kids, so for like 30 years I thought his wife had sowed her oats. Recently he clarified that Oma had two kids when she married Opa. I felt dumb for not having figured it out myself.
#47
Oh, another one. My mom’s side of the family are farmers. One particularly dry summer we were playing around with fireworks in a pasture and accidentally lit it on fire. Luckily there was an industrial hose attached to the well nearby, and we were able to turn it on and douse the flames before it got out of control.
We didn’t tell anyone until 10 years later, when it came out to my parents and my aunt and uncle. My uncle, who farmed the land, burst out laughing and told us that it must’ve been not long after that he was at that property and obviously noticed the burned grass and askew hose. He put 2 and 2 together, but didn’t say anything because he figured kids were being kids, and we probably learned our lesson.
Mermaid Elle-Jaye 3 years ago
I used to do stupid stuff like this 😂 you did really feel the impact when you realised as a kid. Lucky it didn’t get worse.
#48
It's my wife's family, but it goes like this: A great aunt was one of the family's only survivors of the Holocaust back in WW2. Other than her, were her brother and sister one of which grew up to be my wife's grandparent. (I can't remember which. I never met them.) The siblings were much younger then. So, they didn't remember much. Well, the great aunt ends up writing a book about her experience fleeing the country to escape the Nazis. In it, she details the death of several family members during a march through a blizzard. Real dramatic stuff. Well, it turned out many years after her death later, my wife's dad gets a letter from one of the dead relatives. It turns out the great aunt didn't like the two family members who "died" in her book. They had just parted ways at some point during the escape. She wrote them out of the family in her book and took the secret to her grave. Fortunately, their last name is very unique in the world, because of how many of them didn't survive the Holocaust. So, once the "dead" relatives started searching the U.S., they popped up right away. This happened about 3 years ago, I think. Hungarian grudges are legendary.
#49
Grandma admitted on her deathbed that her maiden name wasn't Asher (English), it was Oscher (Jewish). Confirmed by DNA testing my dad.
Dave P 3 years ago
Lots of Jews post Holocaust changed their names and hid their heritage because they were afraid of it happening again. Just look at Csanád Szegedi in Hungary, was raised thinking he was a Hungarian, became a hard line nationalist with the Neo-Nazi Jobbik party, rose in their ranks before finding out his grandmother was a survivor who his she was Jewish and changed her name post-war to protect herself. The news caused him to quite his party and being a transformation into an activist for tolerance and has connected with his Jewish relatives and is Orthodox Jewish today.
Jaaawn 3 years ago
My grandmother kept it hidden from people we never really knew. I was in a shop she used to frequent before her death and the woman behind the counter said something along the lines of 'aren't you the grandson from the italian catholic family?' I corrected her that we're actually Polish Jews.
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#50
That my cousin called cps on her parents because her mom was upset that she was out for two days without picking up her phone or calling/texting. She told cps that her parents physically abused her. Her dad was jailed for some time, her mom sat with the police for hours, her little brother ended up traumatized, & our grandparents became sick with worry, then she admitted that she lied two years later because she wanted to get out of the house & get all the money that was in the accpunt in her name but didn't want to wait until she was 18. (The b**** was 17 year & eight damn months. Here you can open a savings account for your kid(s) & put in a certain amount of money every month which will be given to them the day they turn 18). I punched her in the face for it.
AnxietyRiddenMom 3 years ago
I'm confused by this one. Must have been a really good liar to get a cps case opened and someone arrested. There has to be more to this story
Jaaawn 3 years ago
That's worth remembering when people try and say that 13 year olds are mature enough to make life decisions.
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#51
My Dad was married before he married my mom and i have a sister out there that nobody speaks about or will answer any questions
#52
When my mother fell ill, I took over her finances and found thousands of pounds of gambling debt on her credit cards.
Demi Zwaan 3 years ago
She didn't. This person just handled her finances. That doesn't mean they have to pay from their own money.
Load More Replies... #53
Turns out my grandma had a secret affair and my mom is an illegitimate child. This completely shattered grandma and mom's relationship until gran passed away about a month ago. Also apparently I'm a quarter Iranian.
#54
We found out after my grandfather died that none of his seven children with my grandmother were his, and that they all likely had different fathers.
#55
Great grandparents’ 60th anniversary party at hotel ballroom with cousins/2nd cousins who hadn’t seen each other in years. My mom and I were talking to my grandfather. Mom: Wow. I haven’t seen Chuck, Fred, and a Claire in years. Me: no kidding. When do you think we’ll get a group this big back together? Mom: Gramps’ bday is in 6 months. We’ll see some people then. Me: 6 months? Isn’t it his 60th? All: ... Gramps: Huh. I never thought about that. My grandfather was 60 when he realized his parents had a shotgun wedding.
#56
We found out my papa had a gambling problem and put my gram in a lot of unknown debt when he passed away. I'm talking secret home leans, unpaid taxes, the works, and my gram had zero idea of any of it. Thankfully all of their kids are well off and were able to pay it off for her and set her up for life, but she had a hard time coping for a while.
#57
My mom's mother was actually her grandmother while her oldest sister was in fact her bio mom! Apparently my mom's bio mom got pregnant at 18, unwed, and her parents covered it up by sending her away until she gave birth and pretending they had a new baby. Her dad was a military officer and this was in the 1940s so it was considered really shameful (thus the cover up). My mom had no clue because no one knew, the ones who knew didn't tell her, and her birth certificate was falsified. How did this all come to light? In 8th grade, I had to do a family history project. My mom called some of her relatives to help me out. One of her cousins, who is much older, accidentally let some information slip, which led to my mom suspecting the circumstances of her birth/identity. My mom confronted her bio mom (who I knew as my aunt) and it was upsetting for them both. Her bio mom was shamed and told to keep quiet about the whole situation by her parents, while my mom was raised by parents who treated her horribly (my mom always said that growing up, she felt like she was unwanted). Now, my mom feels relieved because her childhood makes a lot more sense now. She and her bio mom were always close, and were raised as sisters, and fortunately they are speaking again and my mom visited her last week!
Dorothy Parker 3 years ago
Not unlike Jack Nicholson's story. He was raised by his grandmother, told she was his mother, and that his birth mother was his sister. I think some fact checker for Time Magazine, which was doing a story on him in 1974, asked him about it.
ThEboRedEsTpANdA 3 years ago
this sort of thing is quite common. Girl gets pregnant young, parents cover it up by pretending it's their child, but then treat that child terribly
Vasana Phong 3 years ago
So far, this scenario is almost the most common, look at Jack Nicholson’s back ground
Candia Lee 3 years ago
My "son". My fella was 21 when his son was born, then had a motorcycle accident that messed up his mind a bit, so she divorced him. But the baby needed medical attention, so his military grandfather adopted him. I'm pretty sure it wasn't a secret that his sister was his mom. Weirder still, son's daughter had a baby she couldn't/wouldn't care for who has been adopted by his granduncle (great grandma's brother) making baby his own grandfather's uncle.
#58
When I was in my early 20s I got a very distressed call from my mother. It turns out my uncle (married for many years and father of 3 adult children) was in the hospital for trying to commit suicide. He had tried to commit suicide by overdosing on his antidepressants. He was on antidepressants because he was depressed that he was HIV+. He was HIV+ because he had been having sex with male sex workers. Everything was kept hush hush and my uncle and aunt remain married to this day, 10+ years later. I don't have contact with my family anymore for other reasons so I haven't seen my uncle for over 5 years but I'm glad HIV medications have come such a long way.
#59
My mom and dad were addicted to crack before they had me - my mom did crack while pregnant with me.
#60
My grandfather actually just learned this before his death in 2017. He was given his middle name after his mother’s father, and he had always signed his name proudly with his middle initial. Shortly before he died, he learned that his own grandfather had gone missing for a decade of his life. Turns out he was in prison for raping his daughters (excluding my great-grandmother, who was the oldest.) My great-grandmother knew about this - and passed along her father’s name to her son anyway. My grandfather didn’t get the chance to legally drop his middle name before he died, but he stopped signing with his middle initial. I was planning to pass down my grandfather’s middle name to one of my children, but I never got the chance and regretted it. I’m glad I didn’t now - my grandfather was a good man, but I don’t care to pass down anything like THAT.
#61
After my grandfather passed, we found out he had fathered a child when he was posted in Italy during WWII. He never knew. His mother intercepted any letters from the Italian girl. He came home, met and married my grandmother and had 4 children. I forget who in the family found out and how. It's crazy to think we have a whole Italian family out there! Edit: Went to sleep and woke up to crazy notifications! Thanks for the awards. To clarify I'm in the UK, not that it's relevant to the story. My oldest aunt is 77 so this 'kid' would be at least 79 by now I would think. We've considered doing the DNA testing but some family members aren't comfortable with how those companies could use the information. It's a really sad story, but if his mother hadn't intercepted the letters, I wouldn't exist. It's a weird place to be in emotionally!
#62
My great aunt had a secret kid that she adopted out, before she got married. Told everybody a couple years ago while she was working on finding him, he's a great part of the family now.
#63
My mom and older brother are not biologically related to me. My bio mom died sometime after I was born, leaving me, my sister, and my dad behind. My brother was the one that told me. My parents never told me because they wanted to protect me from the truth, but my brother thought that was a bs reason for me to not know. I don't know if my parents know that I know the truth, but I don't want to bring it up either.
Steph Harrison 3 years ago
sounds like the parents had kids from previous relationships when they got together and they raised the kids as if they had had them together.
Load More Replies... Random Panda 3 years ago
I feel so sad for his bio mom, imagine dying so young and your own children never knowing you even existed. The dad is an asshole.
#64
My wife's mother's family (in rural Iowa) had a schism within the family around inherited farm land. So growing up, when she visited grandma for two weeks in the summer, she never knew about 2nd - 3rd cousins living in that small town. My wife found out when we started using Ancestry and tracing family. Not a huge secret but interesting long standing family feud.
#65
Not really a family secret. This happened in the 60s or 70s. One of my mom's like 2nd or 3rd cousins shot and killed his father. The father was a raging alcoholic and very abusive to his wife and the son, especially when he was drunk. The father came home drunk one night, started abusing the mom, and son had had enough and shot his father, killing him. The guy spent a few years in prison for maybe manslaughter or something. I think he lives a fairly normal life now.
#66
A cousin in my family had been secretly stalking/harassing another cousin for like 3 years, to a really bad degree. He eventually admitted it, however didn't face any consequences. Never gave any good reason for it at all and didn't even know the other cousin very well, he just randomly decided to start doing it. A lot of family was in denial over it because he seemed like a nice guy.
Kanuli 3 years ago
One of my cousins started „liking“ me for whatever reason. At first there was nothing, and then I had a girlfriend and suddenly for some reason she decided to like me and want me as a boyfriend? Maybe some weird jealous reflex? We were never even anywhere close. And since then due to other family issues happening, involving her father stealing money from his mother, I didn’t see her again in 15 years.
#67
My great grandmother wasn’t actually Mexican but rather was adopted by a Mexican family from a Chinese family who was being kicked out of Mexico when railroad construction was over. She always had more typically Asian features but only spoke spanish and it was never really questioned. 23 and me is a hell of a thing.
#68
My grandmother was my grandfather's babysitter for his first wife.
#69
That my uncle was married for ten years... when we read his wife’s book obituary in the newspaper. He never mentioned getting married, and he hasn’t mentioned her passing since. We always knew that he liked his privacy, but dang...
#70
We recently found out that around 40 years ago my grandfather had a 7 year long affair with a woman in his church who was also married. During this time he had two children with this woman and they never told anyone about. She pretended that those two children were that of her husband despite them not looking anything like him. How we found out was rather interesting. A couple years ago I had gotten one of the 23andMe DNA kits to figure out what my ethnic background looked like. My aunt and uncle had done the same about a year ago as well. Once you get your results from 23andMe, it also will show you any DNA matches you have with relatives. A couple days after Christmas, a woman had reached out to my aunt and uncle asking to speak with them because 23andMe was telling her that they were her half siblings and that I was showing up as her nephew. Coming from a very strict Catholic family, this was very confusing and concerning to her. They ended up meeting and pieced together everything and then approached their parents about it who at first denied it, then came clean about the affair. It's been pretty hard on the family. For the longest time my grandfather was too stubborn to even apologize to the family and my grandmother for all the pain he's brought, but he finally did. Shockingly enough my grandparents are still together despite all of this coming to light.
Candia Lee 3 years ago
Why are people so surprised when a couple stays together despite adversity?
Lilly Swaim 3 years ago
Because it's fun and interesting? Because we like science and think it's neat??
Load More Replies... #71
Grandpa was a serious Nazi German war criminal.
#72
I grew up in a Mexican family and have 2 younger cousins. My aunt married another Latino guy who basically looked white. The oldest child was a girl and came out looking exactly like her dad- full stop. The second was a boy and came out looking like.... his mom? Maybe? He was dark dark. Like, I’m half-Black and this kid is darker than me. But his mom was pretty brown as well. So we thought nothing of it. Kid looks like his mom. Well fast forward 16 years later. They’re divorced and hate each other. The daughter was always treated like a princess- the boy was rather spoiled too but very much sought out his dads approval- which he just wasn’t getting. He couldn’t figure out why. He’s acting out, getting in trouble, running with gangs. Boohoos about his dad all the time. Well ‘dad’ had enough and flat-out told him, ‘you’re not my kid. You’re mom is a hoe, and I don’t know ‘who’ your dad is’. He even was kind enough to offer up a paternity test. His mother never said s**t about it. She took the ostrich approach and hoped it would go away. We know now his dad was a Pacific Islander- and while there IS one who has always been a family friend for many years, he took a paternity test too and was completely cleared. So the mystery remains on who she cheated on her ex with. She says she doesn’t even know.
Dorothy Parker 3 years ago
Biological dad or not, that man was a worthless excuse for a human being. You don't punish the child.
ThEboRedEsTpANdA 3 years ago (edited)
If she doesn't know, then she definitely cheated with/on more than one guy
#73
Due to 23&Me, my Dad learned that his recently deceased father was not his biological father. It wasn’t a situation related to my grandma cheating either, it was a sperm donation. So, they knew this was the case his entire life. Pretty crazy they never told him, his parents did not pass until he was ~65 years old. Talk about a curveball.
Lord Mysticlaw 3 years ago
Tbh if it was donor sperm they probably thought there was no reason to tell him, except for maybe family medical history which might not have been necessary either if there were no health problems.
May 3 years ago
Given the times, it makes perfect sense they didn't tell him. Pretty sure sperm donation was taboo until quite recently
Jace 3 years ago
And I think for some time donating sperm wasn’t registered that well so the donor’s name was/might not be registered anywhere. Anonymous sperm donor so to say.
Load More Replies... Jo Choto 3 years ago
I'm not sure what decade you are talking about, but sperm donation hasn't been around forever, except for when the sperm was "donated" the old-fashioned way.
Joey Marlin 3 years ago
Not uncommon during baby boom years. Longer ago than many people realise.
Load More Replies... #74
Right after my grandma passed away, we found out she had a secret son she gave up for adoption (thanks ancestry.com!). Crazy thing is, my wife just found out she has an uncle nobody ever knew about from her dads side! (Thank you 23andme!). These ancestry sites are wrecking things lol
Candia Lee 3 years ago
Heh. I missed the sarcasm, thought it was true joy at expanding family, until that last line ...
Linda Yesenia 3 years ago (edited)
What is hidden in the dark will always eventually come out to light....
#76
My grandad was born out of wedlock and was raised by his auntie who already had 2 daughters. His real mum had to live in the same house as her son and pretend she was his aunt. The family have always had suspicions but it wasn't confirmed until my grandad was 72, at which point all the family that had the truth were dead.
#77
Found out that one of my cousins was really my aunt. My maternal grandmother married my grandfather. My grandfather slept with my grandmother's sister(my great aunt). My great aunt gave birth to my cousin/aunt. I tried to keep the explanation short.
Candia Lee 3 years ago
Your "aunt" is your cousin twice removed or your second cousin. My grandmother's sister and her son visited often when I was a child. She was my great aunt, he was called cousin, but my folks explained about "twice removed".
#78
One week before my younger sister's wedding, my dad decided to call myself, both my sisters, and my mother (his ex-wife) to meet at his house for something "very important he needed to tell us." We all thought he had cancer or something. We were very worried. Once we were all there, he sobbingly confessed to having a 5 year old son living in the town next to ours, which means the kid was conceived and born while my parents were still married. He claimed he didn't know for sure that the kid was his, and he had only recently gotten a DNA test. He showed us a picture of our half-brother. He looks EXACTLY like my dad. My mother was devastated.
Chancey 3 years ago
Why would he do that right before the wedding? Not fair to the younger sister. He could have waited until after.
Joe Reaves 3 years ago
I bet someone else knew or had figured it out and he was afraid that person (probably family but not immediate family) was going to spill the beans at the wedding
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PandaGoPanda 3 years ago
And after 5 years he couldn't have waited one more week to tell them all ...?
#79
My maternal great grandmother did not like Norwegians and went to her deathbed insisting she was full-blooded Swedish. My father is half Norwegian, so he and my mom got a lot of flak from her. It was mostly in good fun, but it could get to my dad. After she passed, my grandfather (her son) revealed that she was a quarter Norwegian. So my father, the “half-breed”, was no more Norwegian than her own father.
#80
I was 35 when my mother finally admitted to me that she'd been lying about who my birth father was. She waited until after I'd reached out to his other children and we all thought we were siblings. He later confirmed I wasn't his. She refused to tell me who my biological father really was.
#81
My grandma had a daughter she gave up for adoption before she married my grandpa and had their 4 kids. The daughter found my family through distant cousins or something and my grandpa was like “Cool! More family!” But my grandma wants nothing to do with her and told my mom and aunt that they aren’t to contact the daughter until she dies.
Deborah B 3 years ago
Don't be too quick to judge Grandma. If there is a hidden trauma that the bio-mother doesn't want to relive, and doesn't want the biological child have to live with either, she may think it's kinder not give to the biological child the chance to ask her any questions, and it may be something she cannot bear to talk about. Maybe it's better to be able to tell yourself the story "I tracked my bio-mom down, but she never wanted to meet me, and didn't want the family to either. I guess she was just really embarassed by having been a teenager pregnant out of wedlock." What if the alternative is something horrific? Would you want to know the "truth" if that truth is "bio-child of a rapist and his teenaged victim?"
Lord Mysticlaw 3 years ago
My first thought was wow, that's not very nice. But then I thought maybe grandma got pregnant after being raped? In which case, yes it's not the daughter's fault, but I can understand it.
#82
My grandparents are first cousin’s... an uncle on the same side of the family is in prison for the assassination of a presidential candidate(family still says he was framed and is innocent)
M O'Connell 3 years ago
Given the dates involved, the only living person is Sirhan Sirhan, found guilty of assassinating presidential candidate Robert F. Kennedy (JFKs brother) in 1968.
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#83
My mother had an affair, then lied to police about my nan selling medication. Lied to my dad's workplace about drink driving. Then tried to use a school permission slip to get my dad to sign the house over to my mum and give custody of us kids. Well, I didn't know about the trip so my dad didn't sign. Everything went bat s**t.
#84
So turns out one of my cousins was actually a different aunt child but she couldn't/wouldn't raise him so another aunt adopted him to keep him in the family. Only my mother and her siblings knew this until his biological mom was dying of cancer and they decided to reveal it. It was really s**tty. Especially because he has a biological sister that was little more than a long distant cousin. He was around 24 when this all came out.
#85
Find out, around when my dad turned 60 he had an older sister. Found a whole slew of cousins we never knew
#86
My grandpa's death as ruled as a suicide in the 50s and my mom was likely the last to see him alive when she was 5 years old. My family was still insisting he accidentally fell asleep with the car running while the garage was closed the when I learned about it.
#87
That my great uncle (by marriage, I'm not blood related) was a drunk and abuser. He abused his kids and his wife, and rarely had a job. If not for my grandmother, chances were my cousins would've starved because way back in the 60s and 70s, they were elite. To go to welfare and admit he was such a colossal dick would've been catastrophic to "the family reputation". They were also hardcore Catholics, so no divorce. So my grandmother bought her sister and niece and nephew food, hosted all the holidays, for years. After she passed away, my great aunt wanted nothing to do with us, probably because of that "secret".
What do you think ?
Donkey boi 3 years ago
My great-grandfather was a forger, he was imprisoned for 5 years in his early 20's. He must have suffered a great deal while inside because he refused to talk about it. A few years ago my grandfather was contacted by some BBC researchers asking if his father was still alive and if he was willing to talk about his experiences in the war. My grandfather explained that as Irishmen, they were not really involved in the war. The researcher then arranged to meet with my grandfather because there was 'something he wanted to show him'. They met, and it turns out my great-grandfather was not in prison at all! He was creating false documents for the French resistance, British spies, and around 2K fleeing Jews. Much of his time was spent behind enemy lines and he even survived 'a thorough and intensive interrogation' by the SS, which explained his scars. The man was a hero and nobody knew, which is the best kind of hero IMO.
lazy panda 3 years ago
We need a book or a movie about this man! This is amazing!
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Jo Choto 3 years ago
All these stories make it really clear that in the past, most families probably had these kinds of secrets about who was whose father/brother/mother/child, etc. I can understand why a lot of older people are really, really reluctant to take DNA tests. So many family secrets. Hopefully we have reached the point where most of us don't judge people on this kind of stuff, and maybe not having all these secrets will be much healthier.
ZAPanda 3 years ago
yep, I know someone who adopted a kid in the 1960s because he was "illegitimate". Imagine taking a kid away from his mom because she wasn't married? pathetic religious garbage ideas.
Load More Replies... Mateo Buysse 3 years ago
I find it fun that people assume this only happened in old times. You are not gonna tell me that with current time of easier travel and people going around more, there are no current stories like this in the making. You think 26 year old Cathy will admit to her partner of 5 years she has the kid likely from that timeout they had when she was doing hard studies ? Or there are, even wouthout the religious bullshit, which btw is still everywhere, no people left anymore who will cover up the rape of their daughter by family ? Not to mention the stuff happening with Erasmus students, current soldiers deployed, freelancers traveling and tinder affairs....yea no, i doubt the world became more transparent and open minded in that regard, things just changed.
Helen Haley 3 years ago
This is the age of recreational DNA testing. If you're smart you'll fess up.
Load More Replies...
JLN 3 years ago
My grandmother lied to her oldest son for most of his life. Grandma was married young, that didn't work out and apparently she had a few lovers. One of them fathered my dad. We don't know if he never knew, or she lied to him or what but my grandmothers second husband adopted my dad. He was young and never knew any better, new dad was his dad. Fast forward to my dad enlisting in the army and his parents are like oh, by the way you should know..... except they weren't truthful as to who his father was . Fast forward many many years (I was an adult with a kid at this point) and she finally spills the beans that oh, this dude is your real father but he's dead now...bizarre, I've found pics of him online and my dad looks exactly like him
Steve Kenney 3 years ago
23andme and Ancestry.com ruining some lives here. I always think people really consider before going ahead with these things. You can find out stuff that could really ruin familial relationships and cause huge rifts.
Yoga Kitty 3 years ago
People taking these tests "just for fun" might ruin somebody's life or force them to drag very hurtful and deeply buried memories back into the light. I am convinced there are many, many children whose parents are not their bio parents for a million different reasons. Would you really want to force your mom to explain to your wonderful dad that he is not your bio father because she has been raped some fifty years ago after church and never dared to tell anybody? In my opinion nobody owes you anything - not even the truth. Some secrets are better left untouched.
Load More Replies... M M 3 years ago
I am working on my family tree. My direct ancestor married a well-of man from the next village. He died in a year and a half and she maried her neighbour (from her home village) a week later. She was pregnant and gave birth to a boy, named after his dead father; the child died at 5 months. She and her new husband had meny children, one of them was my greatx3 grand father. Also found shotgun weddings on the other side of the family and a single great great grand mother, who had her only illegitimate son at her 28 years. Married at 41 to a 28 years old man but didn't have any more children. According to my calculations he could have been the father of my great grand dad... at a very young age. Should get a DNA test, but don't trust the companies who make them.
Huddo's sister 3 years ago
I totally agree about not trusting the DNA companies
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ADHORTATOR 3 years ago
30 years ago, I was at a restaurant in Belgium with my future wife. I saw there a young man who looked EXACTLY like my father at this age.... I knew that my grandfather worked in Belgium 50 years ago...who knows?
Two_rolling_black_eyes 3 years ago (edited)
I have a very good friend I met through work who is a data analyst. She was adopted and happy but in her late 40s decided to track down her original parents. Going through adoption records, she discovered she was actually 1 of 10 children adopted through the same agency in Oklahoma from the same mother. Turns out mom had been in a very bad relationship in Kansas with an abusive man who thought it was women's duty to produce children but didn't want children. Mom eventually killed him and she was sentenced to prison but the sentence was commuted after 6 months. She moved elsewhere and started a real family (2 kids) and never told them her past. I had helped my friend do the research to find everyone so I was invited to the most awkward family reunion where 12 kids met their siblings and mom for the first time. My friend has moved away but the kids and their families still meet regularly and all 12 showed up to mom's funeral.
Steph Harrison 3 years ago
This really makes me glad that, despite being raised by my grandparents, I was always thoroughly aware of my family situation. Understanding my family situation was hard enough growing up, finding out it was completely fabricated as an adult would have been even harder.
Donkey boi 3 years ago
My great-grandfather was a forger, he was imprisoned for 5 years in his early 20's. He must have suffered a great deal while inside because he refused to talk about it. A few years ago my grandfather was contacted by some BBC researchers asking if his father was still alive and if he was willing to talk about his experiences in the war. My grandfather explained that as Irishmen, they were not really involved in the war. The researcher then arranged to meet with my grandfather because there was 'something he wanted to show him'. They met, and it turns out my great-grandfather was not in prison at all! He was creating false documents for the French resistance, British spies, and around 2K fleeing Jews. Much of his time was spent behind enemy lines and he even survived 'a thorough and intensive interrogation' by the SS, which explained his scars. The man was a hero and nobody knew, which is the best kind of hero IMO.
lazy panda 3 years ago
We need a book or a movie about this man! This is amazing!
Load More Replies... Jo Choto 3 years ago
All these stories make it really clear that in the past, most families probably had these kinds of secrets about who was whose father/brother/mother/child, etc. I can understand why a lot of older people are really, really reluctant to take DNA tests. So many family secrets. Hopefully we have reached the point where most of us don't judge people on this kind of stuff, and maybe not having all these secrets will be much healthier.
ZAPanda 3 years ago
yep, I know someone who adopted a kid in the 1960s because he was "illegitimate". Imagine taking a kid away from his mom because she wasn't married? pathetic religious garbage ideas.
Load More Replies... Mateo Buysse 3 years ago
I find it fun that people assume this only happened in old times. You are not gonna tell me that with current time of easier travel and people going around more, there are no current stories like this in the making. You think 26 year old Cathy will admit to her partner of 5 years she has the kid likely from that timeout they had when she was doing hard studies ? Or there are, even wouthout the religious bullshit, which btw is still everywhere, no people left anymore who will cover up the rape of their daughter by family ? Not to mention the stuff happening with Erasmus students, current soldiers deployed, freelancers traveling and tinder affairs....yea no, i doubt the world became more transparent and open minded in that regard, things just changed.
Helen Haley 3 years ago
This is the age of recreational DNA testing. If you're smart you'll fess up.
Load More Replies... JLN 3 years ago
My grandmother lied to her oldest son for most of his life. Grandma was married young, that didn't work out and apparently she had a few lovers. One of them fathered my dad. We don't know if he never knew, or she lied to him or what but my grandmothers second husband adopted my dad. He was young and never knew any better, new dad was his dad. Fast forward to my dad enlisting in the army and his parents are like oh, by the way you should know..... except they weren't truthful as to who his father was . Fast forward many many years (I was an adult with a kid at this point) and she finally spills the beans that oh, this dude is your real father but he's dead now...bizarre, I've found pics of him online and my dad looks exactly like him
Steve Kenney 3 years ago
23andme and Ancestry.com ruining some lives here. I always think people really consider before going ahead with these things. You can find out stuff that could really ruin familial relationships and cause huge rifts.
Yoga Kitty 3 years ago
People taking these tests "just for fun" might ruin somebody's life or force them to drag very hurtful and deeply buried memories back into the light. I am convinced there are many, many children whose parents are not their bio parents for a million different reasons. Would you really want to force your mom to explain to your wonderful dad that he is not your bio father because she has been raped some fifty years ago after church and never dared to tell anybody? In my opinion nobody owes you anything - not even the truth. Some secrets are better left untouched.
Load More Replies... M M 3 years ago
I am working on my family tree. My direct ancestor married a well-of man from the next village. He died in a year and a half and she maried her neighbour (from her home village) a week later. She was pregnant and gave birth to a boy, named after his dead father; the child died at 5 months. She and her new husband had meny children, one of them was my greatx3 grand father. Also found shotgun weddings on the other side of the family and a single great great grand mother, who had her only illegitimate son at her 28 years. Married at 41 to a 28 years old man but didn't have any more children. According to my calculations he could have been the father of my great grand dad... at a very young age. Should get a DNA test, but don't trust the companies who make them.
Huddo's sister 3 years ago
I totally agree about not trusting the DNA companies
Load More Replies... ADHORTATOR 3 years ago
30 years ago, I was at a restaurant in Belgium with my future wife. I saw there a young man who looked EXACTLY like my father at this age.... I knew that my grandfather worked in Belgium 50 years ago...who knows?
Two_rolling_black_eyes 3 years ago (edited)
I have a very good friend I met through work who is a data analyst. She was adopted and happy but in her late 40s decided to track down her original parents. Going through adoption records, she discovered she was actually 1 of 10 children adopted through the same agency in Oklahoma from the same mother. Turns out mom had been in a very bad relationship in Kansas with an abusive man who thought it was women's duty to produce children but didn't want children. Mom eventually killed him and she was sentenced to prison but the sentence was commuted after 6 months. She moved elsewhere and started a real family (2 kids) and never told them her past. I had helped my friend do the research to find everyone so I was invited to the most awkward family reunion where 12 kids met their siblings and mom for the first time. My friend has moved away but the kids and their families still meet regularly and all 12 showed up to mom's funeral.
Steph Harrison 3 years ago
This really makes me glad that, despite being raised by my grandparents, I was always thoroughly aware of my family situation. Understanding my family situation was hard enough growing up, finding out it was completely fabricated as an adult would have been even harder.
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