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35 Cautionary Tales Shared In This Online Thread To Warn Others Not To Repeat Their Mistakes
Interview With Expert
Experience is a great teacher. When you make mistakes and learn from them on your own, those lessons stick very well. However, some errors are quite costly in terms of time, money, energy, and new gray hairs. So, ideally, it would be great if you could learn what nasty pitfalls to avoid from someone else who's been in the ‘trenches’ longer.
Inspired by user BrightInMyNorthernSky, the members of the popular Mumsnet online community shared their best cautionary tales to spread a bit of their wisdom on the internet. They touched a bit of everything, from work and relationships to health. We’ve collected some of their top tips to share with you. Scroll down to take a peek, Pandas!
Bored Panda got in touch with Glenn Geher, Ph.D., a professor of psychology at the State University of New York at New Paltz and a published author. Dr. Geher shed some light on the importance of failure and how it relates to success in life. Read on for his insights!
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Never Get personal loans to pay for something for your partner/spouse. If they can’t get it, there’s a reason. Don’t get into debt for them. No exclusions.
Tim Gearing 1 year ago (edited)
I’ll add; don’t invest money in your spouse’s name. I made that 10K mistake in the 80’s.
David Paterson 1 year ago (edited)
Always invest money in your spouse's name, and keep a joint account. If you can't trust your spouse then you can't trust anyone. And it comes in darn handy if one of you dies unexpectedly.
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michael Chock 1 year ago
I bought an editing laptop for my wife. It's been years and she hasn't edited a thing on it. I feel like the investment in out marriage has paid off, I want her to know her goals are 100% supported.
Ravens Mom 1 year ago
I agree. My friend did this for her husband for about $1200 so he could get his teeth fixed. That one I understand. Then he wanted her help for something stupid again and again and she ended up with an extra $15,000 in debt.
Hannah Taylor 1 year ago
For the loan oft loses debt and friend, and discourages husbandry.
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Sierra Tide 1 year ago
Or let your so-called best friend convince you to live above your means to look better. I helped my ex jackass get out of $30,000 debt. Afterwards, his best friend tried to convince him to buy a brand new car because the one I GAVE him was considered beneath her 🙄
Jac Carr 1 year ago (edited)
I understand the people saying you should trust your partner but I've known two people walk out of a relationship and clear the bank account and any person would have bet their life that neither of those people would even dream of doing something like that. You don't know what type of person someone might meet who can influence them to do it. Hopefully it doesn't happen to anyone here but I now know that no-one can ever be 100% sure about that
megasmacky 1 year ago
A ridiculous blanket statement. I'm thinking the person who wrote that is terrible at trusting people and just generally maintaining a relationship. Just because you're bad at picking partners doesn't mean everyone else is.
Mary Gillis 1 year ago
I did that for guitar and then we broke up. Yeah, never doing that again
According to Dr. Geher, mistakes and failure are part of developing successful strategies in life. "My research team has recently found that the number of failures one can think of is strongly predictive of one’s successes," he told Bored Panda in an email.
"So, failure is actually an essential part of development in life. That said, leaning on the wisdom of others is often necessary. For basic things, like keeping your hand out of a lit flame or staying from the edge of a cliff, listening to others who have experience is simply smart—and often even life-saving," he explained.
RELATED:
#2
Don't marry an arsehole expecting he will change. If he's a selfish arse he will remain so and will always be a shit husband and father.
Bouche and Audi and Shyla, Oh My! 1 year ago
You cannot change anyone but yourself. No matter how much you think you love someone, your love is not enough. That person will only change if and when they decide to do so. It usually takes losing everything before a person even begins to think about change. They have to take that journey of their own free will. When someone shows you who they are, believe them!
Hannah Taylor 1 year ago
Reading posts like this, I understand why marriage is called "taking the plunge." It's not unlike diving into a swimming pool. Some people make the mistake of diving into an empty one (SO does all the taking and no giving to the relationship), diving into a murky pool (knowing very little about the one they're going to marry), diving into a pool full of rusted metal and broken glass (obvious issues with anger/alcohol/controlled substances/gambling/sex addiction), or the pool is ice cold. No one is trained enough to live with people like that.
#3
Don't let anyone stay without a clear indication of when they will be leaving.
Invited a friend in dire straits to stay with me but never agreed a timescale. She ended up staying 18 months and barely paid anything in that time. Our friendship disintegrated for various reasons.
Never again!
Ravens Mom 1 year ago
That's a tough one especially if you are the type of person who likes to help people and gets taken advantage of all the time. Someone can agree to only stay a few days or even a week then manipulate you and end up staying a year +.
Sapna Sarfare 1 year ago
I am thankful to my friend who let me stay for almost 13 days at her place since i was shifting back to my home town but didnt want to pay a whole month's rent to my landlord. For 10 days, i had to work but had no place to stay. She let me stay at her place and took care of me. Eternally grateful..
Danish Susanne 1 year ago
And you didn't repay her kindness by staying for 10 months instead of 10 days.
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Zoe's Mom 1 year ago
This can cause legal issues as well in trying to get them out. Depending on where you live, after a certain amount of time, they can claim LEGAL RESIDENCY. Then lawyers and the law come into play to get them out, Same with not letting someone use your address as their mailing address. Again, they can claim residency even if they never lived in that particular address.
Magenta Blu 1 year ago
Many times when someone helps someone else, the helpers begin to expect and then demand to be repaid in some sort way... So they turn the help into a lifelong debt to be paid ONLY in the way they want, turning the helped into some kind of prisoner. If people is going to help, do it as a gift, without expecting ANY kind of return or reward, not as a credit sell to be paid off. If you get helped, take it full heart and gratitude and dont turn into a entitled piece of beggar. Remember to RESPECT the people who helped you in my way
Sierra Tide 1 year ago (edited)
And listen to what your guest says. I accepted staying with someone after talking to her for a week. She only heard what she wanted to hear and the friendship is now completely disintegrated.
Kombatbunni 1 year ago
Made this mistake with my adult daughter and her boyfriend. It did not end well.
Bewarethere@gmail.com 1 year ago
Well not 2 b mean but it was ur fault for letting her stay 4 so long
"Success in life truly requires a combination of both figuring things out on one’s own—failing partly along the way—and taking guidance from others who have simply been there."
Dr. Geher pointed out that failure is, quite ironically, one of the single greatest predictors of all kinds of things in life.
"Taking chances, being open to failure, and taking paths that have ambiguity in life are all required for effective development in life," he told Bored Panda.
"At a broader scale, we need leaders—in all kinds of fields—who are willing to take risks and who are willing to face failure in the eye. Because at the end of the day, progress does not follow from a status quo approach to life."
You can find more of Dr. Geher's thoughts about psychology on his Substack blog 'The Human Condition.'
#4
Never forgive a cheater - they will ALWAYS cheat again and if they left you because you're the OW they will cheat on you. I believe this to be very true having worked in domestic abuse for many, many years.
Lion King baby 1 year ago
There are exceptions and I'm one of them. Happened to be unfaithful once, when I was younger, now I choose to be faithful every day.
araT sdrawkcaB 1 year ago
Humans are flawed, cheating is defined by the individual. In my field, I’ve found most couples don’t agree on what constitutes cheating or realize they view it differently until it’s too late. And good for you and the effort you’re putting forth. People can and do change.
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tameson 1 year ago (edited)
This is just not true. We know several couples whose marriages either survived an affair, or began from an affair. If you know a couple who had one partner who cheated but they both want to save their marriage, PLEASE support them. No comments about "once a cheater, always a cheater", or "I can't believe you are staying!". If it doesn't work out, okay. But they deserve to try if that's what they both want.
Magenta Blu 1 year ago
The sad thing is that after several years of loneliness, some people will just accept and tolerate almost everything just to not feel alone anymore. For some people whatever misery is better than solitude. And no, for some people, finding, initiating or maintaining a relation is almost impossible. So dont blame victims for settling for scraps.. they may not know any better.
michael Chock 1 year ago
Cheating means breaking the terms of the marriage. Set the rules together, not just in the bedroom but for life together. Marriage means growing together into a single life made of two individuals.
Sierra Tide 1 year ago
🎯. They WILL cheat & lie again if they had the pattern before or while dating you.
Mike F 1 year ago
Getting away with something the first time makes successive tries easier. And they get better at covering their tracks.
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Auntriarch 1 year ago
Am I just being naive, or is there a difference between someone to whom vows mean nothing, and someone who comes to the conclusion that they were married to the wrong person? No I'm not asking for a friend. I just happen to know a few people on good second marriages, who didn't have the clear water of legal separation before getting together. Still cheating no question of that, but not a habit
sturmwesen 1 year ago
if you are separated but married it's not cheating. but beware people that only say that they are separated.
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#5
Don’t be fobbed off by your GP. I saw four different GPs who fobbed me off. Eventually it turned out that I had a cancerous tumour on my left ovary, measuring 10cm x 6cm.
SkippityBoppityBoo 1 year ago (edited)
This. I'd read a newspaper article when I was 17 about smear tests, it said that it should be recommended that as soon as you start having sex? You need to start having a regular smear test. The age atm when you start having them is 25 in the UK. Being adopted? I don't know my familys medical history and my GP booked me in for one when I was 17. CIN 3 cells were detected and removed via laser treatment. I'm very lucky to have had that GP at the time. He could have quite easily fobbed me off but you know your own body. If something doesn't seem okay? Ask. Quite often it's nothing but sometimes it is and the sooner you can get or start treatment the better
Danish Susanne 1 year ago
Don't let yourself be fobbed off, but also remember to tell your doctor everything, that may or may not pertain to what could be wrong. My sister died from cancer 4 years ago, but I blame herself a little. She kept insisting that the pain in her neck was not really a pain, until she could no longer keep drinks down. Then it was found out that it was cancer, but already spread beyond cure. But when she would not even tell the truth about it, what was the poor doctor to think?
Liz The Biz 1 year ago
I've lost three members of my immediate family to cancer because they were repeatedly fobbed off by their doctors and by the time their cancers were finally diagnosed it was too late. My mum was told via a telephone consultation that the lump on her breast was "nothing to worry about". After a lot of fighting her GP reluctantly sent her for an ultrasound. When she had the ultrasound the nurse said, "What are you doing here? You should be at the breast clinic NOW." Many more tests and scans later it turned out to be stage 3 breast cancer.
#6
If you’re not mature enough to have a conversation with your partner about contraception, then you’re not ready to be having sex.
Just because he’s not hitting you doesn’t mean he’s a great guy.. raise the bar or stay single.
Don’t accept the google log in notification thingy if you’re not 100% sure it’s actually you (ds learned that one the hard way recently).
Andy Cran 1 year ago
what has contraception got to do with Google log in ? or am I missing some connection here?
michael Chock 1 year ago
Women staying with A-holes validates how they act towards women. I feel like Women need to unionize to support all future and present women. If you want to "change" an A-hole into a better man, dump him.
Be_ Heard 1 year ago
Yesss!!!! Things will only change if we make it unacceptable and dont tolerate the s****y behavior. We need to ban together like the women in korea have. (Pretty sure its Korea lol)
Load More Replies... Sierra Tide 1 year ago
No partner is worth lowering your self respect, giving up what you want in life and or dealing with tons of stress just to stay with that person.
When you consider all the things you have to do as an adult, it's no wonder that some grownups yearn to be kids again. (Either that or win the lottery!) To put it bluntly—adulting is hard. There’s a frustrating amount of responsibilities and upkeep you have to do.
The list is inexhaustible. Not only do you have to work or study, but you also have to stay on top of housework and childcare. File your taxes on time and pay your rent and bills. Answer emails and maintain your home with your (non-existent) DIY skills. Eat and exercise well. Remember to spend time with your loved ones, but also get plenty of rest. Don’t forget your hobbies, find purpose in life, travel, be happy… it can all be so overwhelming!
The fact is that there’s no way that you’ll fit everything into your schedule. You need to prioritize. Your relationships and health should be at the top of your list, for sure.
Next, you have to make sure that you can actually survive. That means having a roof over your head and putting food on the table. Do what you need to do to keep your job. If you enjoy what you do and find purpose in your work, that’s a huge plus.
#7
When you start dating you should be finding out, within the first few months:
If they want kids
If they like holidays
If they have debt
If they have kids/wife elsewhere (sounds obvious but you'd be amazed)
What they see as retirement
Joy Chapman 1 year ago
their experience with domestic violence. Not only if they have ever done it but if they think it's acceptable under "certain circumstances." If they ever watch an example of domestic violence and say, "She had it coming," RUN, don't walk.
Magenta Blu 1 year ago
Or if they have been victims of domestic violence themselves, because post traumatic disorders are a real thing.. and people need to decide if they can deal with the whole combo or just part ways healthy before getting involved
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CanadianDimes 1 year ago
You should find out about kids at the very beginning, not just within the first few months
Becca not Becky 1 year ago (edited)
Also what the relationship goal is. Marriage? Long term cohabitation? Fling? It gets rough when one doesn't like long term commitments and the other is looking for a spouse
Magenta Blu 1 year ago
If they have any addiction... No matter how insignificant it looks like, because addictions can grow into destructive unstoppable forces in no time.
Hannah Taylor 1 year ago
Exactly. If they treat customer service reps like trash, make no mistake, you're next.
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Sierra Tide 1 year ago
Meet the parent(s) or anyone say consider family especially if they say family is a big deal. That can definitely be the make It or break It for a relationship.
Lavern Defazio 1 year ago
If they're good in the sack is a good one. We test drive cars right?
#8
If you need to exit a relationship which is volatile, do the prep work first very carefully. Make use of empty meeting rooms at work for lunchtime sessions of phone calls and messages to get your ducks in a row. Keep a coded notebook of all the things you need to do at work and plough through it every day. Make a timeline so you can see a clear end date you'll be out by and focus on that but dig deep if you have to push it back and play whatever role at home you have to play to keep yourself safe until then. Thank your friends and family who stand by you in the tough times, don't take them for granted. They're not mindreaders and need to be appreciated.
Blue Bunny of Happiness 1 year ago
In the UK there are banks, chemists and supermarkets who will allow people experiencing domestic abuse to use a private room to make plans to leave etc https://uksaysnomore.org/safespaces/
Leigh James 1 year ago (edited)
What an excellent idea that likely would not be implemented in the US due to a return to the dark ages where females are merely chattal to serve males, forced to breed and birth at males whim. US White Christian Nationalist are currently attempting to eliminate No Fault Divorce so females can Never leave, also public education. They want us to be the god damn Duggers!
Load More Replies... SkippityBoppityBoo 1 year ago
This one obviously depends upon the situation. You might have time to prep or it might be that you have to leave that day/night straight away. First of all. Leave. If you have to use your card to pay for a taxi, you have to use it but tell the driver why you have to leave. Yes, it will show up on the statement if you use a card but it won't show the destination. Try and get as much physical cash out from an ATM or the bank as soon as possible. Cash is incredibly hard, if not impossible to trace. Phone the police as soon as possible as well, what has happened etc. The sooner they know the better. Get your statement down with them as soon as you can. Keep contact with friends to a minimum unless you can absolutely trust them 100%, noone needs to know where you are. Remember to turn off the 'your location' settings on your phone too if they're active. Try and remember as many dates, times, locations of the DV as possible and write it down in a notebook or pad.
SkippityBoppityBoo 1 year ago (edited)
The most important part of all of this in this situation is that - You Are The Most Important Person Right Now... Not him/her/whoever... It's YOU. You Can Do It. It's Just One Small Step At A Time.
Load More Replies... Sierra Tide 1 year ago
Always have an emergency fund/account at a separate bank or credit union.
David Paterson 1 year ago
If you need to exit a relationship that is volatile, exit immediately and see the police the next day to get a restraining order. Do NOT waste time on "prep", plenty of time to do that later.
DooBeeDoo 1 year ago
I think this is bad advice. The more you are prepared the more likely you are able to stay away successfully and hopefully reduce the risk when actually leaving. The exit is the time when the person is most at risk.
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Jane Hower 1 year ago
When I realized my 'husband' was not willing to discuss a civil divorce I had to do exactly as told above. Got a bank accot, credit card, borrowed money from dad, found an appartment, etc. Worked out great. Sure surprised him tho, to realize he no longer had his younger wife under his control. And boy did he 'control' my life - even to taking my pay check.
Hannah Taylor 1 year ago
But be careful in whom you confide. M.urder-s.uicide d.eaths still occur, usually because someone close to the victim not only refuses to believe that there's a problem, but will actually relay information about them to the abuser. Sometimes, a DV victim literally has to go NC in order to survive.
#9
Always check your refund is in your bank account no matter how many times customer services say it will be there in x amount of days.
DennyS (denzoren) 1 year ago
This is a good one. I've had confirmation emails etc only for it to not show up.
Ryan Mercer 1 year ago
I do check, but in all my years, I don't think I've ever once not had it show up. But that's for card transactions. The one time I thought it didn't show up, turned out Amazon had put it on my gift card instead. As for a personal check... who knows!
Melissa Harris 1 year ago
Never believe "the check is in the mail" shtick until you have it and it has cleared.
Celtic Pirate Queen 1 year ago
A confirmation email only says that it has been processed on their end.
Then you have a mile-long list of what we like to think of as ‘grown-up’ maintenance. From doing the dishes, taking out the trash, and exercising to buying groceries, brushing your teeth, and getting regular health check-ups. These will eat up a ton of your time. But they’re necessary. If you have a partner, you can split some of these responsibilities, and that’s a huge win for you both!
Now, try to remember to balance all of that with your leisure activities. Life’s not worth living if all you ever do is work, clean, cook, eat, and sleep. You have to carve out some time for fun wherever you can. You shouldn’t feel guilty about going on a long walk, dancing, painting, or kicking back with a good TV show. But there’s a balance to these things. If all you ever do is look for ways to entertain yourself, you won’t get much ‘adulting’ done.
#10
Check your credit card statements regularly. My balance was a bit higher than I thought but instead of going back through the statements, I figured I'd just lost track and did a 0% balance transfer for the whole amount.
It wasn't until a hotel charged me for a room I'd cancelled within the free cancellation period, that I happened to trawl back through the transactions and saw a £2,700 charge, 3 months previously, for a trip to Euro Disney.
I have never been to Euro Disney.
Ashlie Benson 1 year ago
I wish I lived a life where it took me 3 months to notice 2700 being gone.
Be_ Heard 1 year ago
Haha yes! I saw the amount she said and was like whaaaaaaat? Of course i would notice that. Im not out here buying jetskis once a month ffs 😂
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Cathy Jo Baker 1 year ago
That boggles my mind. If my credit card bill suddenly got higher to the tune of 2700 I'd sure notice it! It must be nice not to have to count every penny charged and write it off to "losing track" of charges.
Diana Schlafer 1 year ago
Most cards will let you set up alerts (text, e-mail) for charges. I get a text literally every single time my cards are used, and an e-mail for refunds. Twice I've gotten texts for charges when I wasn't using the card. I was able to contact the company within a couple of minutes of the transaction and get it handled right away.
Ravens Mom 1 year ago
I have alerts set on my cards and checking account. One card I set for any charges at all, even a penny, because I don't use that one very often. The others I set the alert for anything over $100 and I'll get a text message and an email. It really helps me keep track of everything and hopefully stop fraud if it happens.
Ryan Mercer 1 year ago
I've been hit with a few bogus recurring charges. You really have to look for those, because they're usually for small amounts.
Celtic Pirate Queen 1 year ago
I basically check our accounts daily. Which came in really handy 2 weeks before my husband was flying out of state for his son's wedding. There were 2 $250 charges for some video game from Bucharest or something. We contacted VISA immediately, they reversed the charges and sent us a new card in time for the wedding.
Cydney Golden 1 year ago
Same thing with bank accounts. Know what you should have and make sure you do.
Cyndielouwhoo 1 year ago
I understand losing track of small expenses, but who misses a 2700 pound charge?!?
#11
My cautionary tale would be not to ignore physical symptoms no matter how disgusting you feel, but seek medical help.
Otherwise you might end up very, very ill!
Blue Bunny of Happiness 1 year ago
You might be embarrassed, but the healthcare professional won’t be. Bodily functions and private parts of the body are just a normal part of the job to them. Source worked in healthcare, seen more bits than a brothel in Vegas!
ILoveMySon 1 year ago
Tell your health care professionals everything including how much alcohol you REALLY drink, how much you smoke and use of narcotics, if applicable. They cannot help without all information.
M McBride 1 year ago
I started having bad heartburn a few years ago, which kept getting worse. I was very proactive about getting it checked out, and bugged my doctor until I was referred for an endoscopy. Turned out I had stomach cancer at age 34. Never smoked, used d***s, or drank, and was a healthy weight. My oncologist said he’d never seen anything like it during his 40 years of practice. The cancer was successfully treated (almost four years cancer-free now), but if I hadn’t been proactive in getting that seemingly minor symptom checked, I’d most certainly be dead now.
Cat Chat 1 year ago
Going back to my other comment of not stopping until you get answers to a medical problem... when something new pops in , no matter the symptom, don't assume it's associated to something you already know you have. Always get double check for anything that isn't how you normally feel.
Sue User 1 year ago
Tell that to the doctors. When i was 55, every symptom was " this is what happens when you get older". Many doctors across many specialties. Turns out it was autoimmune. Now every thing is "you have autoimmune".
Load More Replies... Andy Cran 1 year ago
especially us men!!!! my philosophy is that women have their "bits" poked and prodded all the time medically so if they can then so can I
Hannah Taylor 1 year ago
This! We're losing too many of you men to prostate and testicular cancer. PLEASE get your annual checkups and seek help if something isn't right.
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Dawnieangel76 1 year ago
I was sick for almost a week without seeing a doctor. By the 6th day, blood was leaving me from the attic AND the basement. Finally got my former BFF to take me to the ER, did a bunch of tests while I'm just laying there, trying not to vomit or poop, only to find out I had contracted botulism. My family doctor came in & told me "you almost f'ing died!". The severity didn't really hit me until a few days after I recovered. The state contacted me about where/what I'd eaten last before I got sick. Told them it was the Superbar at Wendy's (yes, I'm that old), shortly after this, the Superbars began to go away.
Hannah Taylor 1 year ago
It all comes down to which statement you want to hear from your doctor: "I'm glad you came to me when you did," or, "I wish you had come to me sooner." YOU decide.
#12
Never pool all your money in a joint account if you are the higher earner, no matter how "trustworthy" you think your spouse is. Also never, ever give them a credit card in your name.
Cindy Brick 1 year ago
Oh my goodness...I'd better let Husband of 42-plus years know that we messed up by keeping our money in a joint account -- and even having both our names on the same credit cards. Shame on us.
General Anaesthesia 1 year ago
Getting lucky doesn't mean one is smart, Cindy.
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Ravens Mom 1 year ago
This! I have my own accounts, my husband has his own accounts. We have one joint account and we each put half the cost of the monthly bills in it (mortgage, utilities, groceries, wifi, etc.) It works beautifully and we each have our own spending money after the bills are paid.
Debby Keir 1 year ago
OK, but so, I'm a boomer. Joint account all the way. When the kids were young, I earned less than him. Once they were grown, I earned more, but it all went into the same account. In 'those days' as both of us were professionals, we used the higher amount to live on, and saved what was left from the 'lower'. I have kids, so understand that times are different now, but if you don't trust your SO with money, then you shouldn't be together.
Hans Georg 1 year ago
Not a Boomer, but Gen Y here. We also have a joint account. You are right to say that if you can't trust your SO on that part, you cannot trust them in every other case.
Load More Replies... Sierra Tide 1 year ago (edited)
Always have a second bank account at a separate bank. Even if you only keep $100 in it. Keep it as a backup in case something horrible happens and you lose your main account. I kept a second bank account with a small amount of money for over 15 years. Never needed it until I was involved in a horrible accident.
Hans Georg 1 year ago
But that is a totally different case than the post.
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Frank Ricardo 1 year ago
That's a generational thing for sure. I'm 54 and my wife have everything together. Always have always will. Having separate account means you either not on the same page or are planning for the end of marriage
michael Chock 1 year ago (edited)
100% ! You never know which one of you will break down, get scammed, get sued or just be stupid. Split it up but communicate openly.
Michelle my Belle. 1 year ago
It's probably more important to do this if you're the lower earner.
Michael Largey 1 year ago
If you can't trust your spouse enough to share a joint account, it doesn't matter who earns more.
Marie BellaDonna 1 year ago
I'm a saver, and my husband is a spender. I'm also the higher earner, as he is on disability. But he has a much better memory for what bill is due, how much has to be paid, and when. So we have separate accounts. Most of the bills come out of mine. But he's the one who calls and pays them. We split our other expenses, but he pays the rent from his check, and since that takes most of it, he usually runs out of money before the end of the month. So if he needs something, he'll take my debit card. And I keep track of what is spent by using my online banking app. And we almost always discuss it, before we spend anything. All our decisions are made as a team. It may not be a perfect system for everyone. And I recognize that. But it's worked for us for 25 years now. And I think that's what it's about. Everyone is different. You just have to be smart, and find out what works for you. And if your partner isn't willing to work with you to do that, huge red flag.
The reality is that you probably won’t have enough time or energy to visit every place you want to see or do every activity you have on your bucket list. That’s both scary (yikes, you’re getting older really fast!) and empowering (there’s less pressure to tick boxes and do things ‘perfectly’).
Sit down and think about why you want to do something or other. Aim for goals that are important to you as an individual, not just so you can impress others. If you have a passion for fast and fancy cars, by all means, invest in a good vehicle. Just don’t buy a Tesla, Ferrari, or Porsche to show off how successful you are. True confidence goes deeper than surface appearances.
#13
Listen to your gut instinct in job interviews. If something feels off, but you're offered the job, don't accept it.
Ryan Mercer 1 year ago
That's the "gut instinct" they don't want to talk about.
Load More Replies... Beth Wheeler 1 year ago
I turned down a jun in a pain clinic 1 time. I asked in the interview if they had ever had anybody pull a gun or knife on them. They lied and said no but they have to call hospital police a lot because patients threaten them. I had been told by somebody that had worked there that a guy got mad that his script wasn't at the front desk when he got there and stuck a gun in her face. At that time the pain clinic was in a different bldg and the 2 security guards couldn't have chased anybody their lives depended on it so they moved it to the main hospital. When I showed up for the interview a guy that used to work in my department asked what I was doing there and told me not to do it. After the interview I stopped and told him I wouldn't take it if offered. When I turned it down I told them I just didn't feel safe there and had kids at home to raise.
Ryan Mercer 1 year ago
Okay, but you had a lot more than a "gut instinct" to go on. You had advice from a former employee and you caught the interviewer in a lie.
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Layla Layla 1 year ago
Listen to your gut in every situation. It's part of your info processing system. No accident there are nerve cells in the stomach
#14
Never start peeing unless you have checked there’s loo roll.
Magenta Blu 1 year ago
You kinda can if there is water to wash yourself after. TP is not the only nor the cleanest way to wipe up your b.utt
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SkippityBoppityBoo 1 year ago
... On a night out? The vast majority of females in the next stall are really nice!!! The times I've had to knock on the toilet stall wall asking for some loo roll? Had it passed under the stall wall? 😄
#15
Always check your bath towels for spiders before wrapping yourself up in one. If you are a woman do not cry at the GP unless you want to be diagnosed with a mental health issue rather than diagnosed with whatever is causing you so much pain and distress that you cry.
SkippityBoppityBoo 1 year ago (edited)
This depends upon the GP... Mine, again I'm very lucky I guess to have the ones I've had and have. I got my negative HIV test results (it wasn't consensual sex) and I cried with relief... I also happily cried when I got the news over the phone that I could stop taking Apixaban roughly a year after I'd seriously ill with Covid in hospital. It was actually the same male doctor both times but the Apixaban one? He said to me - "You cry all you want to, it's very rare that I get to give people good news" 💜
T'Mar of Vulcan 1 year ago
I've bawled at my GP numerous times. He was always patient and understanding. Of course, I live in South Africa.
Kerry Fletcher 1 year ago
I'll add, as a guy, also don't cry. Had one Doc years ago tell me 'oh my god seriously?' I had just asked him a relevant question to something I was dealing with and I was so scared.
Be_ Heard 1 year ago
Omg i am so sorry that happened to you! How rude of them! Dont they know they are supposed to be helping and not hindering?? Ffs
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Mammie 1 year ago
So true. Went to the dr freaking out over something medical and all she did was ask me mental health questions. To add insult to injury, she also charged me extra because the visit went long because of her questions. As for the issue I was there for, a bite I didn't know what did it (was worried about a spider bite), she said to go home and figure it out.
Joy Chapman 1 year ago
Sadly, I share your experience with doctors. I believe many doctors are trained to give women 3 opportunities to get better. 1. Try this and you will be better. 2. That didn't work, try this. 3. That didn't work? It must be in your head.
Cat Chat 1 year ago
Or, try and get a doctor who actually believes you, no matter what (preferably a woman doctor, going by my own experience).
Sue User 1 year ago
I have peripheal neuropathy ( nerve damage in arms and legs). Went to emergency for something else. Told doctor about it. He stated "so you have diabetes too" ( diabetes can lead to neuropathy) I said no. He then asked " are you sure"?
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Sinnsyk Jakte 1 year ago
I have a plethora of /visible/ issues--and some not so visible, like neuropathy that makes it difficult to ambulate--and my PCP/GP pretty much won't address the issues unless I see a therapist. And I'm like, 'Neat. But. Also. Wouldn't it help my mental state if we figured out and deal with why I'm shedding like a snake and can't feel my feet?' He basically said 'wash your face every day, soak your feet, but get a therapist first'.
kelsischloe1986 1 year ago
I would definitly do what your doc is asking so you can get the help you need. As şħíțty as he is being and as wrong as it is. You not doing what hes saying when you know you will get the help you need is counterproductive and only hurting yourself. Please be kind to yourself and know you are able to switch GP's until you find one that will not make you jump through hoops to be treated for your ailments.
Load More Replies... Dawnieangel76 1 year ago
I am so incredibly grateful that I've had 2 GPs who weren't misogynistic, dismissive a'holes. Always looked into EVERYTHING that could possibly be wrong with me before starting any treatment, and never rely/relied on immediate d***s.
Which of these pieces of advice did you find the most helpful, dear readers? What personal cautionary tale would you share with everyone to help them out in life? What tips would you give a younger version of yourself if you could?
We'd love to hear your thoughts! Feel free to share your opinions in the comments.
#16
If you're a runner, don't run behind a combine harvester going down a narrow country lane, because it might clip a wasps' nest, leaving you (and the dog) COVERED in really cross wasps.
#17
If you have a niggle or feel uncomfortable with a professionals advice press the point. Dont just accept it. Trusting my accountant rather than my own instinct cost me £20k in additional avoidable tax that I shouldn’t have had to pay
Joy Chapman 1 year ago
If they can't make it simple enough for you to understand, find someone who can.
T'Mar of Vulcan 1 year ago
Like an itch in the brain telling you that something is 'off'.
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#18
Never, ever mistake a tube of haemorrhoid cream for a tube of Deep Heat cream.
Andy Cran 1 year ago
always take the teaspoon out the cup before drinking and never bet on a horse called "tripod"
Tim Gearing 1 year ago
And don’t reach for the Eucalyptus tissues after coitus. Unless you enjoy the mild stinging sensation.
A girl 1 year ago
Never put coffe grounds in the cat's bowl then brew a pot Friskys. Real bad morning.
Puppy Dancing! 1 year ago
Had to throw out the coffee maker b/c of the smell?
Load More Replies... Michael Largey 1 year ago
It would have the same effect that Mark Twain described about picking up a cat by its tail. "You will gain information that will always be useful - and unlikely to grow dim or doubtful."
Ovata Acronicta 1 year ago
8% menthol on mucous membranes is a really unpleasant time for sure. Camphor is not so bad, but I wouldn't advise that either. Have just used Carmex for unintended purposes with regularity - the camphor offers relief and distraction from itching/pain and the lanolin oil is extremely moisturizing to my skin so helps to combat the drying effect from another medication.
#19
Never walk on a hotel room carpet in bare feet, always use slipper socks/slippers. Trust your gut when it comes to keeping safe and always cross the street several times if you feel unsure about someone following behind you. Love and hate are two sides of the same coin, indifference is the goal during and after difficult times. Meet anyone with dependencies? Run for the hills rather than let them waste your life aswell as their own. They won't change. Accept that your parents are just people and not some saintly being just because they are older, they are flawed too. Keep your face and hands out of the sun. Don't spend time engaging with idiots, they are a lost cause.
Harry Gondalf 1 year ago
Re "Don't spend time engaging with idiots, they are a lost cause": "Never attempt to teach a pig to sing; it wastes your time, and annoys the pig." —Lazarus Long
Harry Gondalf 1 year ago
Never attempt to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and annoys the pig. —Lazurus Long
Jac Carr 1 year ago
Plenty of sun safely though, take vitamin D if necessary
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XenoMurph 1 year ago
Some people, most people, DO change. Just don't expect it to be on your terms or timetable.
Jennifer Lynn 1 year ago
This one needs a couple of caveats- People with dependencies can and do change, but not all of them will. Don't start up with them hoping they'll change, you will get dragged down too, but they're not all lost causes.
#20
Stretch marks are not caused by not wearing a bra. Many/most 14 year olds will get them , perfectly normal .
Nina 1 year ago
Nah, stretch marks appear when there's a sudden growth spurt. So if you don't have those or if you haven't got a large size boobs, you won't get stretch marks.
Ovata Acronicta 1 year ago
Adding, most people have stretch marks! Growth during puberty is pretty intense. Kids shooting up like bamboo will end up with tiger stripes on their backs, their legs, their arms. It's just a part of life, really!
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Upstaged75 1 year ago
Where the hell did this one come from? Never heard of it. I'm absolutely sure the marks on my thighs did NOT come from wearing a bra. ;)
DramaDoc 1 year ago
I have stretch marks on my hips from when I was 8 or 9 and hit a massive growth spurt. I went from an average 4'4" or so to about 5' in a little over a year. I was about 5'1" in 5th grade, which is huge, hit 5'5" by 7th grade...and then stopped growing. 5'5" is super tall for a 7th grade girl; 5'5" as a 47 yo adult means I keep a stepladder near my kitchen to reach on top of the fridge.
michael Chock 1 year ago
Hear that men? Short women with small breasts have advantages in looks too.
#21
The easy option, comes at a price.
Michael P (Perthaussieguy) 1 year ago
EVERYTHING comes at a price. Nothing is ever really 'Free' (and I'm not talking always about $$)
Blyss Blyssylb 1 year ago
These days, Everything comes at a price, especially options. More options = more charges (even if you don't pick options, still costs you)
Magenta Blu 1 year ago
Everything has a price...but can you live the rest of your life after paying it? If there is doubt, may consider it just a little more, because people won't regret what they've done, but what they could have done, but didn't
#22
Do not, under any circumstances, break your employment contract by leaving before the end of your notice period even if it does feel like a lifetime. Always try to negotiate with your future employers. I didn't. I've had three incredibly stressful weeks with threats of legal action and the only reason they let me go in the end was because I spent all last weekend, including BH Monday, getting the company out of a very tricky situation.
eric p 1 year ago
This must not be from the USA. In America you are not required to give any notice. If your job is miserable why give them the extra two weeks to basically dump anything they can on you? Get that next job lined up and just nope right out of there
Michael Largey 1 year ago
Generally true if you are not working under a contract. Some American work contracts do contain some consequences for early termination by either party.
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Andy Cran 1 year ago
Bank Holiday mostly a UK thing (it's like a second Sunday on a Monday 😆)
Load More Replies... Adam S 1 year ago
I think this is situational - for a few types of employment the employer might go after you for breach of contract but most would likely not think it worth the time, cost and effort. But definitely good for the first point of call to be a conversation, with both the current and future employer. I had a previous employer agree for me to leave early as they were very understanding about me having no progression opportunities with them.
Mark Fuller 1 year ago
Surely the legal costs of challenging the employee would mean things wholly untenable. It's not worth the hassle - let them go.
Celtic Pirate Queen 1 year ago
Most of the US is "at will" meaning you can quit for any reason. The flip side is that they can fire you for any reason.
Sierra Tide 1 year ago (edited)
Research the company before taking an offer of employment. Look at different reviews of current and former employees. Believe the reviews.
#23
Always check how many items they’ve got when you brought a return. One time out of three they do a mistake.
And always check your shopping receipts straight after the transaction. The day when you forget to do this you will be overcharged.
Cindy Brick 1 year ago
Yes, yes... ohyes! Our local Safeways have a 50% record the past few years of overcharging for SOMETHING. (I've not seen them undercharge, for some weird reason.)
Mike D 1 year ago
Funny, the Safeway here just puts out of date food on the shelves.
Load More Replies... Andy Cran 1 year ago
"please check your change before leaving the store as mistakes cannot be rectified afterwards" remember that works both ways,a local shop I use very regularly realised they had undercharged me and tried to reclaim the difference on my next visit,they and I hadn't noticed the discrepancy at the time ....I stood my ground 😉
Littlemiss 1 year ago
My husband just discovered that the app that you scan for loyalty points at our local supermarket was suspiciously not working at the counter. For a week everyone who tried to use it was denied the so called savings. The app mysteriously worked till you entered the store.
Sue User 1 year ago
I have a fast food app like that. Need the code to get discount, code only good for 15 minites, app doesnt work when outside the store.
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Dianellian 1 year ago
In Australia, if you’re overcharged at the supermarket you’re entitled to your money back in full and get the item for free.
Ryan Mercer 1 year ago
I seem to recall a study found that grocery stores will accidentally under charge just as often as they over charge, so it generally pans out to no difference. On the other hand, if you always catch them when it's over and never tell them when it's under...
#24
Always remember to change the address on your V5 and not just your license. I didn't. DH got caught speeding twice on the same day on the same stretch of road (33 in a 30) in my car. Both fines went to old address. Didn't answer them, obvs. The whole sorry mess played out without me being aware and by the time it all caught up with me it was had been banned from driving for six months and fined £2k - five months earlier! So had been driving while banned for five months!!!
Elchinero 1 year ago
What is a "V5"? And a "DH"? Designated Hitter? AND, as noted, 3 mph "over"?
Natalia 1 year ago
Don't know about V5, but I think DH is Darling Husband
Load More Replies... Sierra Tide 1 year ago
Don't rely on the dealership or the new owners to notify dmv (in the US) of ownership change. Do it yourself. I've seen a couple people get stuck with toll fines because the dealership didn't change the ownership to DMV and I've had someone try to scam me by not going to DMV AFTER I already notified them that I sold the vehicle.
Brian Droste 1 year ago (edited)
The only thing I can think of this happening is you left your old license plate on the car so the car look like it was still in your name. Otherwise their plates should have registered the car in their name. Whenever you sell a car, make sure you take your license plate off so if they are dishonest this won't happen to you.
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Ace 1 year ago
There's a margin of error added, either as part of the radar camera system itself or as a guideline for prosecution. Back in the day in the UK it used to be +10% +3mph. So when people say they were done for 3mph over it means that they were actually 3mph over this threshold, so the 33 in a 30 was probably in reality about 40 in a 30.
Load More Replies... Barry Fruitman 1 year ago
DH is a Designated Hitter and V5 was one of the earlier prototypes of V8.
#25
Your mortgage insurance, critical illness insurance, income protection and so on have MASSIVE exclusion clauses and riders. They don't keep you safe. If you do manage to get them to pay out, they'll find reasons to stop paying within 18 months or less. I ended up having to sell my flat for the outstanding amount. I honestly thought I'd taken all necessary precautions.
Jennifer Clayton 1 year ago
This happened to me with private disability insurance. Because the pain made me depressed, my disability diagnosis included a percentage of psychological and not 100% physical disability, so they were allowed to stop paying after 2 years. That and losing my savings to US healthcare costs, now I'm only on social security. Didn't matter that I came from nothing and built a solid career as a tech executive. It can all go away at any time. And if that starts happening to you, downsize as much and as quickly as possible, don't wait.
Toothless Feline 1 year ago
Mortgage insurance isn’t to protect the homeowner—it’s to protect the *lender* against the risk of you defaulting. You as the homeowner will never file a claim against your mortgage insurance.
Colleen Glim 1 year ago
Got mortgage/critical illness insurance when we bought our house. Seven years later I was diagnosed with cancer and insurance paid off my mortgage balance. It’s not always just for the lender
Joy Chapman 1 year ago
I had a wonderful experience with insurance. I bought critical illness insurance because 1. it was very cheap and 2. I thought I had stomach cancer. I did not have stomach cancer but I had retinal cancer. The insurance paid the full amount as soon as the papers were filed. Not much compensation for blindness but a help.
Sid*o*licious 1 year ago
I know a person that lost their house and everything they owned to a fire. Insurance wouldn't pay out because in it it says "does not include acts of God" The fire was started by lightning and that is an act of God so they didn't pay out. Not sure what happened to the family but it's total BS. I hate insurance companies.
JB 1 year ago
Check your home insurance policy for water damage coverage, many only cover internal pipes bursting/leaking. The mains pipe into your home may well be your responsibility if the leak/break is within your property line. Trenchless replacement is expensive. Where I am, the city cuts off your water to prevent property damage to both you and your neighbours. You have 30 days to complete repairs to their satisfaction or face fines. I was lucky (never thought to check it) and relieved when I found I was covered. FWIW, my insurance company paid out without a quibble, against the quote, so I wasn’t out of pocket, except for the deductible when it was time to pay the contractor.
Sierra Tide 1 year ago
Read the contracts before signing any insurance policies. Make sure it covers you and how it covers you if you have a major life-altering accident. ALWAYS have some kind of life disability insurance. Even if you have to drop down the monthly to the lowest package temporarily. Always have it. The government will NOT help you. Now a lot of County governments make it so you have to pay them back if you have to go on monthly benefits temporarily. YOU DO NOT WANT TO BE HOMELESS Get Life & Renter's insurance!
#26
Get a spare front door key cut and hide it somewhere safe outside.
Locksmiths charge a fortune to come out to your home to break you in.
Nina 1 year ago
Better have it at a trustworthy neighbour or close-by friend, there are no safe spots outside
grotesqueer 1 year ago
Some spots are genius though. In my childhood home, we had a metallic fence that hid the key. One of the screws in one of the poles was unnoticeably loose, and when you took it off the key would fall out from inside the metallic pole to be collected from the ground (some of the poles didn't reach the ground as part of their decorative arrangement). If you're unfortunate enough not to have a neighbour or a close-by friend that's trustworthy enough, a well thought-out hide outside can be the best option. Though unfortunately, sometimes the place you think is a good hiding place is actually something almost anyone would think of.
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Bruce Robb 1 year ago
You might think it's a fortune, but compare that cost to the cost of being cleaned out by thieves who can guess where you hide the key.
ElfVibratorGlitter 1 year ago
No. This one is not good. If you're losing keys, get a keyless door lock (number pad lock), give a set to a trusted family member/neighbor/friend, anything other than leaving a key to your house right outside your house.
Littlebunnyfufu 1 year ago
10/10 highly recommend. Also good if you have kiddos who lose things a lot....
Load More Replies... minnieslave0 1 year ago
Keep the spare key in your wallet or purse (making sure that you don't have anything with your address on it in there). Yo will either forget your keys OR your money. Rarely both.
ILoveMySon 1 year ago
Not an option for me as I always carry my driver license. I carry my friend's key though and she carries mine.
Load More Replies... Upstaged75 1 year ago
And it costs about $600 to replace the window that you broke because you locked yourself out and no one had a spare key. Ask me how I know. ;)
Blue Bunny of Happiness 1 year ago
Get an external key safe and mount it somewhere that isn’t obvious, or just have a really nice neighbour who keeps hold of a spare key for you!
BookFanatic 1 year ago
Yep. I utilized my spare key yesterday. Absentmindedly pocketed my car key instead of the house key and went for a walk. Did you know that no matter how many times you click "unlock" on the car key it does NOT unlock your front door?
Sue User 1 year ago
I had a car with a door code. Great for hiking when you are paranoid about dropping keys on trail.
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Leesa DeAndrea 1 year ago
Don't do this. Criminals know where to look for stuff like that. Maybe having to pay the locksmith will teach you to be more careful in the future.
#27
Don't underestimate the possibility and prevalence of hereditary personality and cognitive traits when considering procreation. DC's dad is definitely an acquired taste with some peculiar quirks which, when initially dating, seemed charmingly idiosyncratic at best and, on reflection, at worst constitute a life-time of struggle. One DC has inherited many of these (definitely nature as opposed to nurture) and their life is so much harder for it.
J. Oliver Scott 1 year ago
I've seen nature trump nurture a number of times when adopted children who never even met their biological parents somehow still ended up turning into the same type of people.
Papa 1 year ago
I'm getting kinda tired of all the abbreviations. I get that DH is dear husband, DS is dear son, etc, but what in the cornbread hell is DC? I assume it's not direct current.
Brian Hawley 1 year ago
Before marrying a girl/boy check out their mother/father carefully. That’s an approximate preview of your partner inn a few decades.
Colleen Schultz 1 year ago
I just watched the series where there were 12 siblings...6 of them were schizophrenic. DNA matters, for sure.
Ryan Mercer 1 year ago
I don't know, this is kind of weird. I mean imagine meeting someone, hitting it off, developing a meaningful and rewarding relationship, then when the talk turn to marriage, be like: oh, well, let me see your ancestry chart. It's a relationship, not a used car.
#28
Don't swing on your chair because you might fall and give yourself a black eye. I tell my classes that I know a kid who did exactly this. They never believe me, because 'all the teachers say that'. It was my DS.
nottheactualphoto 1 year ago
I was wondering what all these references to DS were about, but I see now it's the Citroën DS. See https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Citro%C3%ABn_DS
Mrs Irish Mom 1 year ago
Instead of writing DS can you not go mad and add another letter and write SON... and who has a darling son or daughter, if they are of teenage age like mine, darling is 100% not a word i would use to call them
CamiCamilion 1 year ago
Yup, my daughter split her chin open, tipping her chair. Hospital was able to glue it instead of stitches, but there's still a small scar
Samsquatch & Monko 1 year ago
I also have a chin scar- I ran around a corner too fast while wearing slippery socks on tile floor as a little kid.. hit my chin right off the corner of a shelf and then on the floor. I was lucky I only needed a bandaid, for some reason I was more upset that the bandaid looked ugly than the actual injury. I was in kindergarten so uh I was very logical
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#29
When making fresh chicken stock, drain and store immediately. Do not store overnight in the fridge and do it the day after. Cos then you end up with chicken carcass jelly. And have to heat it up again to separate.
Celtic Pirate Queen 1 year ago
It's a lot easier to skim off the chicken fat when it's been cooled.
#30
NEVER assume that your toxic narcissist MIL made appropriate arrangements for absolutely anything at all when they inherited a large sum of money. Also never take the advice of medical staff when they tell you how long someone with an inoperable brain tumour has left to live. They will be wildly wrong.
Samsquatch & Monko 1 year ago
OML STOP CALLING EVERY ANNOYING OR BAD PERSON A TOXIC NARCISSIST I AM TIRED OF IT
Jennifer Clayton 1 year ago
Except sometimes they are. No point in censoring people because you aren't confident in their diagnostic skills, because sometimes it is a shrink or therapist that has informed you someone in your life is likely a narcissist.
Load More Replies... Beth Wheeler 1 year ago
The docs aren't always wrong. My mother had liver cancer which was a big surprise after a seizure and stroke in my car 1 day. After MRI, abdominal ultrasound where they saw a mass and liver biopsy I was told it would be a few weeks to a few mo's. She died 6 weeks after the seizure and stroke in my car.
Becca not Becky 1 year ago
Yes, it's extremely individual. Some people go faster, some go slower.
Load More Replies... Ryan Mercer 1 year ago
Any doctor who can *accurately* tell people how long they have to live, needs to be investigated.
SkippityBoppityBoo 1 year ago (edited)
No idea about the first one but the second one? Well... They told me at first when I was in hospital with Spinal Bruising etc that it was doubtful that I'd ever walk again. I showed them once and there's since been something else but? I showed them once with my calipers and crutches so I'll damn well show them once again!... Don't ever tell me that I won't ever achieve something or won't be able to do something ever again because? I'll turn around and do it/achieve it... Just. To. Pish. You. Off. 😁 (except for high heels... I'm never going to wear regular shoes, trainers, high heels again)
Papa 1 year ago (edited)
My father just distributed pretty much everything of value to my sister and I before he died. That made things pretty simple.
Load More Replies... Sierra Tide 1 year ago
Hope you will never experience something life altering but plan ahead in case it does.
#31
When you are on the M1, slow down to 50mph by the time you enter the 50mph zone, and don't speed up until you have left it.
Don't assume your teenager is as focussed on their GCSEs as you think they are just because they haven't said they are not and you hope all is well. By the time the teachers tell you they have car crashed their mocks there is very little time to recover. I definitely took my eye off the ball there....
Bear in mind that spirits in the US are served as doubles by default and the measures are fucking huge.
Orange Frosting 1 year ago
For those wondering, the M1 is a motorway/highway in England. GCSEs are exams that all kids take at 15/16 years old.
Cat Chat 1 year ago
Thanks. So far this is actually the 3rd one that is specific to some country that I don't have a clue as to what it's saying.
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#32
Never get married. Live with someone if you want but get proper advice on protecting your property first. So many people don’t look into the legal implications of marriage till it bites them on the arse at the end of it.
If you don’t entirely believe your doctor is right get a second opinion. Could have saved me years of pain, disability and perhaps my cancer having progressed to stage 4.
Join a union. RCN protected me when my employer turned out to have no integrity.
Don’t let a man persuade you he knows best. So many things I went along with against my better judgement which turned to shit.
Cat Chat 1 year ago
I think the getting married thing is a personal choice one should still make as a choice or not for themselves. But, for sure, if you go into it with your own property beforehand, know how to protect it, just in case. Also, if getting property with your legally married SO, make sure it's in both your names.
Belladonna.dreams 1 year ago
I tell people marriage is a trap and my divorce was easy. We didn't own anything and I didn't want alimony or half his retirement and we worked out the shared custody of the kids just fine. Alot of people don't have it that easy and some are stuck in the marriage because of the financial impact it will have on them.
Load More Replies... Babs McGurk 1 year ago
Never get married??? That's a pretty broad statement. Just because it doesn't work for YOU doesn't mean it's a bad idea for everyone. Mr. Babs and I celebrated 42 years of marriage this year, and while it wasn't always perfect I wouldn't trade it for anything.
Alecto76 1 year ago
Join a union. Don't fall for an employer's propaganda. The union is for your best interests. Your employer is for their own profit.
Cerridwn d'Wyse 1 year ago
This actually depends on the union. There are some that are more invested in filling their own Pockets then taking care of you. Others do a good job
Load More Replies... Sierra Tide 1 year ago
As a woman, you DON'T have to get married. You can stay happily single or in a relationship without being married If that is what YOU want. Don't let anyone pressure you into getting married. Getting divorced is so much harder than getting married.... And can cause so much financial damage if it's definitely the wrong person.
Danish Susanne 1 year ago
And remember, statistics say, that single women live longer than married women, just as married men live longer than unmarried ones. If you think about that, maybe you can guess why
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wowbagger 1 year ago
I would say, look into the marriage laws in your location before getting married. They can vary a lot, and conservative politicians are constantly pushing to make divorce more difficult and costly. (I recently read that Republicans' next target is going to be no-fault divorce). Also, if you as a married couple are thinking of moving, factor in the marriage-related laws in the place you're thinking of moving to. You may end up needing to restructure your finances to make sure you're both protected.
Bec 1 year ago
Agree, not being married may mean you don't have the right to make medical or financial decisions for your significant other in an emergency. There can be tax benefits too
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Rebecca McManus 1 year ago
Divorce is a lot more expensive than just splitting up, and then when the ex husband dies without a Will you have to pay £65 for a copy of the decree absolute because he ripped it up 8 years ago when it came through but now the probate office need it as proof he was divorced
#33
If you see a tempting offer or competition, always ask yourself, 'What's the least they could give me without actually lying about it?' & don't take anything for granted or give them the benefit of the doubt. If you're happy with the least, go ahead.
Toothless Feline 1 year ago
“How small a contribution can they get away with without technically lying?”
Load More Replies... #34
My DH was driving around without tax for a couple of months. We both now pay monthly so it can’t expire without us realising again
ElfVibratorGlitter 1 year ago
Not sure I understand this one. Was this a typo for "tags" like expired license plates? Or is there a tax you drive around with?
30ninjazinmybag 1 year ago
Uk road tax most likely. Our license plates don't expire here but we have to pay a yearly road tax. The higher the emissions the more you pay.
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Celtic Pirate Queen 1 year ago
DH - darling husband. In the UK license "tags" are referred to as tax.
Brian Droste 1 year ago (edited)
Wouldn't whatever you use inform you that the taxis are due ahead of time. Whenever your license plate or driving license is due they let you know at least a month in advance. Maybe longer. This is in the USA.
#35
Do not go to bed sooking a strepsil.
I fell asleep and woke up in the morning it was still in my mouth (albeit much smaller) and it had burned a hole in the roof of my mouth. It was weeks before it healed properly.
Also, do not sniff olbas oil whilst laying down. I did this and some dribbled out the bottle and down my nose and my nose and throat felt dry for days and days even though I guzzled water to try and get rid of it. It was awful!
SkippityBoppityBoo 1 year ago
Olbas Oil is a decongestant. The oil form as in the stuff that comes in tiny bottles? You put one or two drops onto a wadded up piece of tissue or a handkerchief and place it near you so the vapours from it get to you but not on you. Think Vicks Vapour rub type thing... It's 23.30 right now so I'm not good at explaining!
Metalhead Turtle 🇺🇦 1 year ago
My guess is that sooking = sucking. This is the link to what a strepsil is, according to Wikipedia: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Strepsils#:~:text=The%20name%20of%20Strepsil%20comes,Italy%20under%20the%20Benagol%20brand. And olbas oil is an herbal remedy. I'm still not entirely sure what this means, but I'm hoping that someone can confirm or deny my guess for the first one.
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What do you think ?
T'Mar of Vulcan 1 year ago
I didn't understand a whole bunch of these because the people used acronyms or terms that aren't used in my country (and Google wasn't much help, not that I bothered after the third one).
ElfVibratorGlitter 1 year ago
I think DH is dear husband and DS is dear son, but I'm just guessing myself.
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David Paterson 1 year ago (edited)
Most of these are just saying "don't trust anyone". Which is totally wrong. Treat everyone you meet with an "innocent until proven guilty" attitude. Except for lawyers and investment advisers. And realtors. And jewellers. And ...
mhoulden 1 year ago
Mumsnet makes a change from Reddit, but it has a reputation for having quirks of its own.
megasmacky 1 year ago
Never make a major life decision based on blanket, mindless advice from some Lithuanian content farm drone.
Hmmm hmmmm 1 year ago
Explanation for why this list seems a little off , it's from Mumsnet which is a British parenting website. So it uses a lot of British idiosyncrasies and acronyms unique too the site such as DH ( dearest husband ) and DS ( dearest son ). Hope that clears it up
Uncle Schmickle 1 year ago
Yeah .... let's write in plain English. None of these stupid acronyms. They only make sense to some people and as Bored Panda is a world wide site, make sure everyone can understand what you're trying to get across. Some posts are so badly worded surely the Editors can correct them first ?
Ryan Mercer 1 year ago
Bored Panda is based in Vilnius, Lithuania. That surprised me. I assumed it was British.
T'Mar of Vulcan 1 year ago
I didn't understand a whole bunch of these because the people used acronyms or terms that aren't used in my country (and Google wasn't much help, not that I bothered after the third one).
ElfVibratorGlitter 1 year ago
I think DH is dear husband and DS is dear son, but I'm just guessing myself.
Load More Replies... David Paterson 1 year ago (edited)
Most of these are just saying "don't trust anyone". Which is totally wrong. Treat everyone you meet with an "innocent until proven guilty" attitude. Except for lawyers and investment advisers. And realtors. And jewellers. And ...
mhoulden 1 year ago
Mumsnet makes a change from Reddit, but it has a reputation for having quirks of its own.
megasmacky 1 year ago
Never make a major life decision based on blanket, mindless advice from some Lithuanian content farm drone.
Hmmm hmmmm 1 year ago
Explanation for why this list seems a little off , it's from Mumsnet which is a British parenting website. So it uses a lot of British idiosyncrasies and acronyms unique too the site such as DH ( dearest husband ) and DS ( dearest son ). Hope that clears it up
Uncle Schmickle 1 year ago
Yeah .... let's write in plain English. None of these stupid acronyms. They only make sense to some people and as Bored Panda is a world wide site, make sure everyone can understand what you're trying to get across. Some posts are so badly worded surely the Editors can correct them first ?
Ryan Mercer 1 year ago
Bored Panda is based in Vilnius, Lithuania. That surprised me. I assumed it was British.
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