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Many of us are raised to believe that marriage always leads to a Happily Ever After—after all, it’s something that countless movies, shows, and books have promised us. Unfortunately, that’s not the case. Marriages can and do fall apart due to a wide range of reasons. And some people simply realize that the relationship they’ve built with their spouse is not healthy.
Redditor u/tippytoes1216 started a very open and honest discussion about long-term relationships and red flags when they asked internet users about when they finally realized that they probably married the wrong person. Read on to hear what other redditors had to say—it’s eye-opening to learn what to avoid in relationships.
The author of the thread, u/tippytoes1216, was kind enough to share their thoughts about relationships with Bored Panda. "I hope some of the replies have reached people who are struggling and know they are not alone. You are strong and worth the love," they told us. Read on for our full interview with them.
Meanwhile, Bored Panda also got in touch with the team at Relate, the largest provider of relationship support in England and Wales which helps millions of people strengthen their relationships every year. Scroll down for the insights that Relate Counselor Barbara Honey shared with us.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Not married but together for years. Got diagnosed with cancer and she kinda shut off. She then Decided to leave several months later.
At an appointment I was officially 1yr clear, which is a milestone, I realised I was alone through a lot of it. She never wanted anything to do with it. Was a revelation to myself that the relationship break down wasn't all because of me.
Got my 3 yr tests this weekend, blood tests and scans etc. Current GF is driving me and then taking me out to lunch afterwards. Hell of an Upgrade
baby frog 2 years ago
ya i need to trade in my current bf… oh wait, i don’t have one lol
Load More Replies... tabithapaquette98 2 years ago
Sorry for what you went through, but I'm happy you're doing better and have found someone better for you! 💕
hardrad2009 2 years ago
My university classmate was dropped by his wife when she learnt that he had a cancer. She told him that she need to produce a healthy baby from a healthy man and doesnt want to have anything with him now. Fortunately he is alive and well now. She is the mother of 2 in an abusive relationships.
deanna woods 2 years ago
My mom and dad have been there for each other through everything. My mom retired from teaching so that she could take care of my dad when he got sick.
Valerie G. 2 years ago
On a similar note, when I was going in for cancer surgery the next day, I confirmed with my boyfriend to make sure he was driving me. He looked at me like I had grown an extra head.
Amanda Hunter 2 years ago
My elder sister had a manfriend of 9 years. She was diagnosed with Breast cancer, he dropped her like a hot potato. Never did like him.
Mandy Delaforce (PC Girl) 2 years ago
Neighbour next door did the same thing to her husband. He got prostrate cancer. They broke up and he moved out. Got himself a girlfriend and everything. A couple of years later, she goes in for a hip replacement, and suddenly he's back and having to care for her through the multiple surgeries caused by infections etc.
RELATED:
#2
We were in the bathroom getting showered and dressed for a friend’s wedding. I was in the best shape of my life at the time, feeling good about myself, and I thought I looked good in that suit.
She was finishing her makeup and I remarked at how beautiful she looked. I waited for her to say something nice in reply but she didn’t. And it just hit me. I couldn’t remember a single time that she complimented me on my appearance.
So I said that to her. I said “You know, I always tell you how beautiful you are, and how attracted to you I am, but I never recall you ever saying that I look good or that I look handsome.” She stopped applying her mascara long enough to dismissively roll her eyes at me.
So I made the mistake of asking her, “Do you even find me attractive?”
And she flatly said “No.”
I asked, “Why did you marry me then?”
And she said “I didn’t think it was important at the time.”
I never felt so ugly and unloved. And it hurt even more when I had been feeling so good about myself for once in my life 30 seconds earlier.
Jing Yi Xu 2 years ago
I hope you've divorced that person now. You deserve better. That said, I'm sad it took you so long to realise, because you deserved to be happy years and years ago with someone new. She wasted all that time for you
Josephine Blogs 2 years ago
He did divorce her. 😊 If you click on the link below the picture you can see the entire thread on Reddit. It's doubtful the original author will ever see your comments on here as BP just copies the content from other sites, however nice your reply may be. 😊
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Louise B 2 years ago
Ouch! I'm all for honesty in a relationship, but that response is just cruel and so dismissive of the OP's feelings. That utter lack of respect and empathy is a huge red flag, that would be the deal breaker for me.
Potato 2 years ago
Personally I don't think physical attraction is required to love someone, but come on! Surely there was SOMETHING she could compliment, like intelligence, personality, sense of humor, etc. Just the other day I complimented a friend on their amazing calves--those things were sculpted and definitely took work.
Amelia Jade 2 years ago (edited)
This one stunned me and made me so sad. I tried to read it out loud to my husband and couldn't do it without choking up.
Blyss Blyssylb 2 years ago
Beauty and Art only exist within the eye of the beholder. She was apparently blind. You're better off without her.
Sonja 2 years ago
I'm pansexual. Which means my attraction to a person doesn't rely on physical attraction. But I do love my husband deeply and I do feel attracted to him. If a person cannot pick up the mood of their spouse and react to a declaration of attraction in a kind way and their heart doesn't sore during a gentle interaction like this, they're not ok. Then the relationship is broken. Right now, after a tiring and strenuous day, my love fell asleep on my leg. He's currently drooling on the blanked I draped over myself. He looks as attractive as a drunken racoon. But when I look at him a wave of love and affection soars through me. It's unthinkable that I would react this way when he stood in front of me all happy and glowing and asked me if I found him attractive! In a suit he looks like Danny DeVito with even less hair. Still I'd kiss him and tell him he's the handsomest man alive. It's called love. And it makes the ugliest duckling into the prettiest swan
#3
When I lost twins and he dropped me off at the hospital to get an operation to have my babies removed. He dropped me off at the hospital bleeding and went for a party with his friends...
baby frog 2 years ago
it’s kinda like, “seriously dude? i just lost my twins and now you don’t want to comfort me and tell me it’s going to be ok?” horrible guy. don’t get with someone like that Pandas!
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tabithapaquette98 2 years ago
I really hope he is an ex! What an ah! Oh, so sorry your losing our kids, but you know I have plans/s! WTF! So sorry.
AreYouGoingToEatThatPickle? 2 years ago
Reminds of my ex husband, who when I got a huge cut in my hand doing dishes and was told to keep it completely dry for 2 weeks, bought me rubber gloves instead of getting off his lazy a*s and helping out around the house. Losing babies os far worse, but I can relate to the selfishness.
deanna woods 2 years ago
My dad slept in a hospital for ten days when my mom had pancreatitis.
"I came up with the question because I feel this doesn’t get asked enough. All I ever hear from people are how they knew they were with the right person," the redditor behind the intriguing and honest discussion shared with Bored Panda.
"You could be with someone you want to be with forever and see a future, but that can change and we need to be okay with letting it go. Sometimes the good doesn’t outweigh the bad," u/tippytoes1216 said.
The OP believes that the reason why their thread resonated with so many people is that the question was a taboo one. "I mean, I’ve never asked anyone in my personal life this question, unless the relationship was already over. Seeing the comments in this thread shows that even though some people knew they’re with the wrong person, they are willing to stay in it," they said that everyone should be able to talk about failing relationships without feeling judged, and given support by others.
#4
Engaged not quite married yet. When I had been on mandatory bedrest and caring for our infant son, after having emergency surgery for nearly bleeding to death after a miscarriage, and he came home from work and looked me dead in the face and said "why aren't the f*****g dishes done?" Called my mom the next morning and told her I was leaving. Hightailed it out of there 2 weeks later.
baby frog 2 years ago
dude. imagine just being in (what i assume) her place. like, emergency surgery and caring for an infant (which i know takes a lot of work) and someone has the AUDACITY to say “why aren’t the f****n dishes done?” like, no. you do them. i’m on bed rest and caring for OUR CHILD. people, man. 😞
Load More Replies... Jing Yi Xu 2 years ago
"sorry, you have defaulted on your 'kindness' payment. You have now been downgraded from our 'married' subscription to 'single"
MusicalNerd 2 years ago
In case anybody needs this: you're free to stop reading in case those are too upsetting for you.
#5
Day after the wedding. She didn’t have to hide anymore, I was stuck. So the lovebombing girl I had happily married turned from nice to pure abusive narcissistic sociopath just like taking her mask off.. Since we had a daughter I tried for 2 years to survive the abuse in an effort to try and fix things, get help.. Funny thing is, narcissists are never wrong, so everything was naturally 100% my fault in all aspects. By the end, I was so broken down I didn’t have the power anymore to break free. You accidentally made a mistake, you got hell. You did something good, you got hell. Ends up with you doing apathically nothing, since that way it takes them a while to accumulate enough on you to abuse you for.. I just accepted that I was indeed worthless and patethic in every and all aspects in life. Then she made a mistake. She started using my daughter as a weapon in the abuse, scaring the living s**t out of her in the process. I couldn’t save myself, there wasn’t even a shadow left of the ghost of the man I used to be.. But I could save her, with powers I have no idea where they came from. So here I am, 11 years later with custody of my happy daughter who no longer wakes up screaming in the night “No mommy! No!” Pro life tip, don’t get an ex wife. Those things are absolutely horrible.
Lakota Wolf (she/her) 2 years ago (edited)
This is EXACTLY my parents. My dad was OP, to a tee. My mom is the abusive, toxic narcissist. Except, my father never escaped. I begged him, as a kid, to divorce my mom and take me with him. I became my mother's weapon AND abuse target (she once held a gun to my throat to threaten my dad... I was 6.) If you are in a relationship with a toxic narcissist, ESCAPE. I know it's hard. I watched my father die inside. But ESCAPE. Save yourself. My father never escaped, and I will never forgive my mother for what she did to him, or to me.
CertifiedCatServant 2 years ago
I’m so sorry for what you had to go through. I hope you’re doing better now. hugs!
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Cris R. 2 years ago
or an ex-husband, mine is exactly like that woman ...still suffering, somehow he always has a way to control me, even after 12 years of divorce, but since we share custody...
Papa Patata 2 years ago
Therapy and research how to handle narcissists or whatever your ex husband is.
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setsuriseikou 2 years ago
Well, I am an ex wife, but we've been completely no contact with my ex husband (and most of his friends) since divorce, so I'm yet to learn the details of my horribleness
Michael Naegele 2 years ago
I did the same thing 14 years ago. My girlfried was mental ill and wont allowed anyone to help. So i moved out, got full custody of my daughter after fighting for 2 years on court. And as hard as it is as a single dad. I never regret to do that. Enjoing my live now with my daughter every day. She will be 17 this week. :-)
Charles St. John 2 years ago
Hi Lakota. You probably don't remember me. OP I got out of a very negative relationship and swore no more negativity, no more abuse. And you changed that around. Well done Sir. And really, saved your daughter. Again, well done Sir.
MalayDragon 2 years ago
This one hit way to close to home for me - Reading this, Everything you've said is exactly what i'm currently going through. thankfully minus the abuse of my two beautiful girls (8yr and 6yr). Everything else though.
Florian Litzlfelder 2 years ago
"Pro life tip, don’t get an ex wife." Sounds like he killed her. Good for him.
#6
I realized like 5 years into our 19-year marriage... but the nail that made me leave was when my ex said that our children hadn't EARNED his love, and that shook my whole foundation. Literally speechless for 2 days and then I started thinking, wondering if I had EARNED his love yet..and I couldn't stop those kind of thoughts...you don't earn love..it is freely given; especially to children...
Marina M. 2 years ago
It sounds like she realized he was not right for her earlier, but this AH statement was the straw that broke the camel's back.
Load More Replies... Blyss Blyssylb 2 years ago
What a POS poor excuse for human skin. You're better off now that you've unloaded your trash.
Purple tiger 2 years ago
My mother had this in her head. It's why I stopped speaking to her. That I "owed" her for my schooling and the fact that she raised me.
DeVille 2 years ago
Wow. First of all you read it wrong, her children were first. Second of all. Judgemental much?
Load More Replies...We were curious to redditor u/tippytoes1216's opinion on how someone can tell if their partner might not make a good spouse in the future. According to them, one sign is "if the little things they do bother you," such as "leaving dishes in the sink instead of putting it in the dishwasher or leaving their clothes right next to the basket."
They noted: "These little things add up and can turn into resentment later on in the relationship. Don’t avoid the little things, because they matter as much as the big things."
The OP was very grateful to everyone who participated in the discussion they started. "I honestly did not think this question would blow up like it did. I’m thankful and sending positive vibes to all the people who have shared their stories with the Reddit community," they said. "And I hope some of the replies have reached people who are struggling and know they are not alone. You are strong and worth the love."
#7
One day I realized I had become a smaller version of myself.
Stephanie Cunningham 2 years ago
I got to the point where I barely recognized myself. To my ex, I was basically furniture--he wanted me in the house with him 24/7, but we barely spoke and never did anything together. Getting out was the best thing I've ever done.
Nannychachi 2 years ago
I woke up one morning and realized----I didn't need him. He needed me. Out.
Christine Didier 2 years ago
I wish I could find someone to help me pack up all my stuff and leave while he's at work. I'm always nervous, anxious walking on eggshells, my health is suffering. HELP!!!
Charles St. John 2 years ago
You have a voice, opinions. You feel things. So very precious things.
#8
I'm type 1 diabetic. She wouldn't let me spend £100 on a continuous glucose monitor whilst simultaneously buying stupid s**t like moleskine notebooks.
She also told me that if I went blind she'd divorce me
Kofi Leeto 2 years ago
sometimes as couple you sorta ask for permission even if you don't need it, collaboration if you like. I am sure he did not expect resistance on buying an essential life saving device. surprise surprise, now he knows where she stands......either she is stupid or she is cruel
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Marie A (Blondebat) 2 years ago
Obviously she wanted you dead. I have 1 and it daily saves my life. Hubs changes it out every time.
Lisette Verkade 2 years ago
Divorce that c**t. In some countries cgm’s are free…so is insulin.
#9
When I realized if we weren’t dating I wouldn’t have wanted to be his friend
Tamra 2 years ago
This is an important one for me. I know I'm very fortunate to have married a man who I genuinely like. That sounds silly, in a way, but what I mean is, I genuinely enjoy his company. Beyond romantic love, there is a deep friendship I feel. That friendship has seen us through some rough times.
similarly 2 years ago
My wife is the best friend I ever had. There is nobody in the world I get along with as well, nobody I trust so completely, nobody I feel I can literally talk to about anything. She recently told our son I'm her "buddy", and I feel so proud to be that person.
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TheAmericanAmerican 2 years ago
After months of being in the same friend group and a lot of flirting and good conversations, she suggested that we could just be friends... I told her that my feelings for her were far too strong to just be friends and that I would rather not see her ever again than suffer being around her, feeling this much for her... 10 years later we are each other's best friends, happily married, and still madly in love! Friendship is key for a relationship, just don't falling into the Friend-zone trap!
Jing Yi Xu 2 years ago (edited)
Same. We didn't even have that many shared interests, and all my friends said he seemed distant and even stuck up. Should have known this when his family hardly tried to talk to me when I was at their home, instead speaking and laughing in Dutch and German while I smiled awkwardly.
Ellen Brown 2 years ago
Friendship is the key to a successful relationship 'cause when you hit the rough bumps, the turbulence, you got to ride the wave together.
Bored Panda wanted to figure out how someone can tell if their partner is 'the right person' to marry. Barbara Honey, a Counselor with Relate, shed some light on this. "If you're convinced you've fallen in love with someone and you want to spend the rest of your life with them, then you will have picked up many, many clues that you have a ‘fit’ with them that'll work," she said.
"There's a theory that this 'fit' comes from having a shared cultural background, the same values, beliefs, and sense of humor, and that there's just something about them that feels familiar—like having similar ways of showing love that your family does. But many people who don't share these things still have long and fulfilling relationships," she noted.
#10
6 months after our wedding when I found out about the emotional (he says only emotional but I’m pretty sure it was physical too) affair through text messages.
He had sent his affair partner screenshots of my texts to him in which I was begging him to talk to me and tell me what was wrong. They both proceeded to make fun of my desperation to fix my marriage and his affair partner said something along the lines of “poor valiant, she doesn’t know anything and keeps begging you for attention and affection”.
The moment i read those words I realised how big of mistake I had made.
Jing Yi Xu 2 years ago
I hope you took everything you deserved in the divorce...and I mean EVERYTHING
Caro Caro 2 years ago
I hope he marries the woman he has an affair with. That way, they can make each other miserable.
tabithapaquette98 2 years ago
That way she can see how it feels when he cheats on her.
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Jill Rhodry 2 years ago
Personally I feel that an emotional affair is more damaging than a purely physical one.
OmBoyGanesh 2 years ago
Maybe I have it backwards, but emotional infidelity seems much worse than physical. The emotional, intellectual & spiritual connection I share with my husband seems priceless when compared to the wonderful physical connection we have. Ideally, I’d hate to have either damaged or betrayed, but the physical seems secondary to the rest.
Raabh Aquino 2 years ago
Why get married if you're going to treat your spouse like this? Seriously, what's wrong woth people?
Sweet Taurus 2 years ago
Omg. This breaks my heart for you. Cheating hurts enough but to know they were making fun of you for loving and trusting him is just pure evil.
#11
When Covid hit. Lockdown was announced and he said he said he had to go look after his "real family", i.e. his mother, a healthy and capable 50yo who treated him like a child.
I had those words ringing in my ears for months. Real family. How TF was I not his real family? But I slowly realised that the big old handbrake was off and now I'm out here living my best life.
Jing Yi Xu 2 years ago
Never go near momma's boys....you'll only be 2nd fiddle to him, IF THAT. Now imagine your mother in law is a truly horrible person. I'd just walk out and let them become an incestuous couple, they'd deserve each other
C.S. E. 2 years ago
That's why I don't trust people who are the 'blood is thicker' types. 1) You're using that phrase wrong and 2) so your partner has less meaning? Just because someone is related to you doesn't mean they're deserving of your time, attention, and affection and just because someone becomes part of your found family doesn't mean they aren't just as important - sometimes more so.
Pink Aesthetic 2 years ago
I mean, this is a reason I wouldn't get married, my birth family is my real family, I don't need my "own family"
#12
When he didn’t mention me in his speech at our wedding.
He thanked everyone else, commented on the bridesmaids, talked about our daughters. I may as well not have even been there.
First night of our honeymoon I got horrendously sick, and he left me alone in our room to go watch something on the big screen on the beach. So much for sickness and health!
Ima Manimal 2 years ago
Tear up the marriage documents before they get filed at the courthouse. It’ll save you the hassle of a divorce
Jane Hower 2 years ago
Something like that happened with me. Our honeymoon included a stop in Vegas and I was sick with an upset tummy but he left to go gamble. oh well - that and many other 'red flags' I didn't see for what they were. Finally left after 14 years, but should have known ever before we wed. Damn wasted years.
We also turned to the team at Relate with a question on figuring out if a relationship is deeply dysfunctional or if the couple is simply going through a rough patch.
"Think about whether the change in how you feel about your partner is coming from internal or external factors. If you're going through a big life change, like you've just had a baby or you're going through work and money worries, that's an indicator that the changes are external and it's a rough patch," Honey, from Relate, told Bored Panda. "Making time to check out how your partner is feeling may be the start of feeling less alone and vulnerable and could form to the basis of working things through together."
However, this doesn't apply to all relationships. At times, internal factors can change how you feel about your partner. "If that feeling is internal, like you feel your interests are different and that's stopped you from loving your partner, then that's a sign that it might be time to end the relationship," the Relate Counselor said.
"But relationships are complex things. Talking through your feelings with someone who can help you make as much sense of them as possible may open up opportunities for change, whether that’s working things through together or leaving the relationship."
#13
I realized that I was hiding good news from her because I knew she would make me feel bad about it. I hoped she was going to grow up and stop being selfish and childish. She never did.
michael Chock 2 years ago
People do not grow up. They are either the type of people that work on themselves or they are not.
Jing Yi Xu 2 years ago
To me it sounds like she was a spoilt rotten only child type narcissist raised with parents who only gave her good news as to not upset her. Or she was the type to be so insecure and jealous she can't have anyone else in the world be happier or Luckier than her. Dodged a bullet
HeavyMetalHeart 2 years ago
Why bring only children into this? The biggest narcissist I ever dated had two siblings. It’s really not relevant.
Load More Replies... #14
It was a death of a thousand cuts. One of the first was when I realized she didn't trust me. We had been together around 10 years at this point. But I had a moment of clarity and literally said to her "you don't trust me do you?" Before she could answer I said "you don't trust anybody." And she agreed.
She would routinely throw the kids out of the tub and the bathroom completely naked because they splashed her while getting a bath. And not just that, she would yell at the top of her lungs at how bad they were. The kids were around 2-4 at the time. God forbid the toddler splashes the water in the tub.
Another time I don't even remember the cause but I tried to play mediator. As in "ok daughter you did something wrong, let's apologize to mommy". And she would. Then I'd ask mommy to apologize to our daughter for what for her role and mom absolutely refused to apologize. Ive known this lady more than 20 years and ive never heard her apologize. Literally never.
The final straw was when one of our kids wanted a hug goodnight before bedtime. She locked herself in our bedroom and refused the hug because she had hugged them earlier in the day. Kids were crying. They didn't understand. I was devastated watching this unfold. Why doesn't mom want to hug me?
I try my best to not let it impact me. But we share custody now and I have to watch how she interacts with out kids. Its hard. The best consolidation is the kids are getting older and they're starting to figure it out.
FatLipsMcCool 2 years ago
Sounds like Borderline Personality Disorder. I'm sorry, it's not easy to deal with unless they're willing to be diagnosed and managed.
Marie Buschheuer 2 years ago
sounds like that to me too. i have borderline, am well treated but honestly, it's hell. analyzing your own behavior every day, enduring the emotions.... i decided against having children exactly because i didn't want to end up like this mother.
Load More Replies... Jing Yi Xu 2 years ago
Sounds like she needs therapy and if she refuses, you leave. Living with this type of person is impossible because a marriage is meant to be a team and she's not a team player. Don't know her issues but you don't deserve it
Margo Channing 2 years ago
Ask yourself "why did it take me 10 fricken' years to acknowledge the truth?!" - Red flags everywhere & we choose not to see them, not to hear them.
Althea Armwood 2 years ago
Not hearing her apologize is something by itself but her reaction to the kids (ages 2 and 4) could have been postpartum depression.
#15
We'd been married several years and the marriage had gotten increasingly worse. He only ate out of those stackable plastic plates with the dividers (because they reminded him of being a kid and eating with his parents). He saw them in the cabinet and was outraged because I hadn't stacked them inside one another (I stacked them, but at alternating angles, to ensure they were properly dry and wouldn't be wet between plates). He started lecturing me, on how they fit inside each other, in an infantilizing way. I'd known for a long time I didn't want to be married to him anymore, but in that moment, I stared at him with hatred and specifically thought "(name of best friend from college) wouldn't do this to me." I'm happy to say I'm out of the abusive marriage, and engaged to my best friend from college.
The more time you spend with your partner, the more chances you have to see what they’re really like in terms of their values, character, and how they treat others around them. Ideally, you probably want to marry someone with similar values, who respects you as much as you do them, and who values transparency over secrecy.
Some other positives include being able to control one’s temper, being an active listener, and looking for compromises instead of trying to ‘be right’ in arguments.
According to Elizabeth Scott, Ph.D., the top issues that married couples have include money problems, childcare issues, daily stress, busy schedules, poor communication, and harmful behavior.
She notes on Verywell Mind that for nearly a third of Americans, money worries are a direct source of conflict in their marriage. It’s essential to get on the same page regarding finances, from spending vs. saving habits to work and investment philosophies, before the marriage. You definitely don’t want to be blindsided when it comes to financial stability.
#16
I came home from a long day of work to find burn marks all over the carpet and linoleum. My then husband had spent the entire day playing games on his PC. While doing so, he had been ignoring our puppy who had managed to somehow get ahold of a phone battery, bite through it, and cause a small fire. Thankfully, the dog wasn't injured. This event, on top of finding out shortly before he had been lying about going to community college for almost a year was the turning point where my feelings died.
Jing Yi Xu 2 years ago
Even a dog deserves a a responsible owner but does this scream premium father material to you?! Sounds like he'd be the type to wear noise cancelling earphones around a baby
Lakota Wolf (she/her) 2 years ago (edited)
Nothing in OP's post mentions children or even wanting to have children. Not sure where you're even getting the "premium father material" reference from. OP's husband's "father material" status is irrelevant to his douchebaggery.
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Eric Soliday 2 years ago
Kind of a stupid lie, he didn't think that she would eventually find out?
#17
It was actually almost immediately after getting married. Our relationship had taken a nose dive as soon as we moved in together. But after we got married, while we were in Greece on our honeymoon, he absolutely lost his mind on me in public. I had wanted to go see a beach on the island that is supposed to be one of the most beautiful in the world, so we tried to catch the bus, but it never came. He screamed at me, telling me he hated traveling with me and how could I ruin his vacation like this. Then we walked to the beach nearby and he went swimming with his two friends who he insisted come with us on the trip. I was too stunned and humiliated to do anything except sit on a beach chair and cry.
Donna Peluda 2 years ago
Sounds like his gay. Happens more then you think.
Load More Replies... Doodles1983 2 years ago
Why even allow them to ‘mooncrash. I’d have bailed before the wedding!
Margo Channing 2 years ago
Why would you consent to allowing buddies to come along? Please take responsibility for your part in this. HUGE RED FLAGS & you sit there crying?
#18
When I came home from the ER after being diagnosed with a severe lung disorder, and she immediately left me with the kids so she could go out drinking with friends. Her exact words were "I need you to make them dinner, I'm running late to meet up with everyone"
Jing Yi Xu 2 years ago
"And when she came back she came to an empty home, for I took the kids and left. She found the divorce papers on the table"
Boo-Urns 2 years ago
This reminds me of an ex... I spent a week in the hospital. Finally got home, all I wanted to do was take a shower, s**t in my own toilet, watch some TV on my comfy couch, and sleep in my own bed. She wanted to go out to dinner. She was **insistent** that we go out to dinner. And she slapped me across the face when I said I really didn't feel up to it, and I'd literally just gotten home less than an hour before. That was the end, right there.
Richard Michael 2 years ago (edited)
Yeah, the marriage was already over if she was prioritizing her supposed friends (more likely new lover).
Another sensitive issue is sharing the housework and childcare load in a fair and balanced way. The fact of the matter is that even in extremely progressive societies and developed countries, women still tend to do the lion’s share of the chores, even if they work full-time jobs.
CNN recently reported on the Pew Research Center’s findings that even in egalitarian marriages where women earn the same as men, the latter have more free time. “Even as financial contributions have become more equal in marriages, the way couples divide their time between paid work and home life remains unbalanced,” the Center notes in its study.
“Husbands in egalitarian marriages spend about 3.5 hours more per week on leisure activities than wives do. Wives in these marriages spend roughly 2 hours more per week on caregiving than husbands do and about 2.5 hours more on housework.”
#19
Together 15 years, married 13. She said one day, to hurt me, “I don’t find you physically, mentally or sexually attractive”. I recoiled. This was about 4 months ago, we’re still together but I just can’t get over it
Skip62 2 years ago
Fear, lack of money, inertia , feeling like you're not worth anything better
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tabithapaquette98 2 years ago
I agree with everyone here. Please just leave. I know it's hard, but why would you want to be with someone who obviously doesn't want to be with you? Best of luck!
Sandra Morison 2 years ago
Leave.....its hard but you will find someone who does find you attractive and amazing....don't settle
hitex 2 years ago
I've had something similar happen to me. Marital counseling thus far has been extremely helpful & it was more of an angry outburst in heat of the moment that was a result of not communicating our feelings and needs appropriately. Hopefully you can get her to join you for counseling
Johnny Cakes 2 years ago
Why in the he** are you still with her? Leave and be happy, you deserve it!
MellonCollie 2 years ago
There is too little context to judge the woman for saying this. I agree it doesn't sound very nice at all, but we don't know how the other person has been behaving to cause this absence of feelings. He could be an enormous d******d, for all we know.
#20
About a year and a half into our marriage she got an internship with Disney and had to move to the other side of the county for seven months. Six months into the internship she tells me that she met someone else. She continued to string me along for another six months saying she doesn't want to get divorce but she's just been really confused. It turns out she just wanted to keep using me to pay all the bills while she finished her degree. Once she was a month away from finishing school she admitted that she never really wanted a relationship with me, she only started dating me to make her ex jealous, had been cheating on me for about ninety percent of or ten year long relationship, and only stuck around because her ex didn't want to get back together and she didn't want to take care of herself. She told me she knew this most recent guy she was cheating with was "the love of her life" after three weeks. They had a kid together less than a year after we got divorced and split up within two years.
Haywood Jablome 2 years ago
I would not have survived. I'd be out back doing my best Kurt Cobain impression
TurquoiseTzarina 2 years ago
My heart weeps for you. Please, know, that you are worthy of the very best life has to offer and you have value to offer. Peace to you...
Load More Replies... #21
On the wedding day…. She spent a fortune on unnecessary things, and I knew I’d be the one fitting the bill on the credit card she ran up. So I told her no more, she said she wanted an ice cream vendor there (we already had two dessert bars) told her it was not needed. She fought me on it but finally agreed. Wedding day comes, I’m standing with my groomsmen, in comes the ice cream truck. Knew right then, sadly.
Amanda Hunter 2 years ago
My daughter in law is the same, cheap Chinese c**p all over the bloody place.
#22
Thankfully not married but living together. When he called me incompetent for taking literally less than 15 seconds to turn off subtitles in Netflix. In that moment I realized that I had been living in fear and pain for so many years but that the things he was willing to put me down and call me names over were becoming smaller and smaller and i was already walking on eggshells, I couldn’t take any more
Kimberly Buchanan Fisanick 2 years ago
I've been there in 2 of my past relationships. Sometimes it takes awhile to accept it and/or leave
baby frog 2 years ago
please don’t get with another person like that. be happy, don’t let someone control you over small details like that
Load More Replies... Charles St. John 2 years ago
No. I firmly reject this. Calling names. Belittleling you. Leave.
Christine Didier 2 years ago
I'm feeling the same. Right now I feel trapped. He has all our money, threatens to kick me out, and has been physically abusive 85% of our 12 year relationship. There's more but you get the gist.
Amanda Hunter 2 years ago
And neither should you have to take abuse like that. No one gets to talk to you like that.
Never Snarky 2 years ago
No one ever deserves abuse of any kind. Glad you got out of that situation.
#23
When he was messaging a side chick on our wedding day and boy did it go sideways from there
Lakota Wolf (she/her) 2 years ago
From OP on Reddit: "...apparently he was "Just on vacation with his brother and sister-in-law" and couldn't wait to "see what else that mouth can do" along with oh so many more including video and pictures. That continued to roll over his face up phone the whole reception... my dude"
Amanda Hunter 2 years ago
And when he marries the side chick after you've died from an 'accident' then makes the side chick queen.
#24
When he let our few month old baby roll off the bed bc he couldn’t get to a save spot on his video game. And also when I brought the baby home an outfit and he was jealous I didn’t pick out something for him too. Don’t worry, as soon as the baby turned a year old he moved out and we got a divorce. That baby is now 18 and surprise surprise, no relationship.
Kimberly Buchanan Fisanick 2 years ago
My stalker x-boyfriend, was so jealous of my kids and anyone else. I didn't even have to know them or speak to them. It kept getting worse. I came to my senses and left. Then my prick x-boyfriend was so insanely jealous of my grandson, when he was over. It was so pathetic. I have a good man/hubby now
FABULOUS1 2 years ago
I knew my marriage to my ex wife was over when she told our friends her Christmas got ruined because of a baby. the baby was my grandbaby who was 3 months old. Mind you she still got great gifts but felt it wasnt enough. There was many other reasons, but this was one of the top petty ones.
#25
There were a lot of red flags. Things like him telling me I was low on the attractiveness scale, and embarrassing to him because I was intellectual, highly educated, yet extremely shy- so came across as a stuck up snob to everyone. (Spoiler: only he and his friends thought this… maybe not even his friends.) He also did other stuff like spending money on toys for himself that we had allocated for remodeling - pretty necessary stuff like getting rid of 25 year old disgusting carpet in a new to us house. The kicker for me was when it came time to have kids. He swore he was all in, but when we weren’t getting pregnant we both got tested. Turned out he had borderline low testosterone and some other issues that were solved with a simple over the counter daily medication that had zero side effects. We tried and tried and I increasingly went through more painful and invasive testing and procedures- the whole time with him saying how he was in 100%, because I checked in with him often to make sure. Turned out he had been sabotaging the process the whole time. Intentionally not taking the daily meds and doing some other stuff to ensure we would fail.
#26
The first wife, I had inklings that I *might* not have married the right person when I was working full time (making very good pay) and she decided to quit her job and just sat at home on her a*s. We had a maid come every week to clean the house top to bottom, do the laundry and all the dishes - and the house was still a hellhole 6 days a week. If dinner was made at all when I got home from work it was hamburger helper or a microwaved hot dog wiener and blue box macaroni and cheese. It really became clear when I caught her cheating. Her exact words to a friend: "My husband's an angel, but I'm bored." The second wife, I realized multiple times, over and over, that I married *exactly* the right person for me.
Strawberry Pizza 2 years ago
Aw, I'm glad this one has a happy ending. Happy for you and your new wife OP.
#27
When I got her to admit she was having an affair.
10 years married, 2 kids. What a mess. She followed it up a month or two later telling me she never loved a person like she does with new partner.
So welcome to divorce land. Population, me.
baby frog 2 years ago
my parents are on their cruise there, along with others
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Entropy Clean 2 years ago
My ex left me for another guy, they got married (about 5 years in) and then this week I found out he had the cops called on him for sending their female neighbor unsolicited text messages... It's not you, it's them.
MurderMittens 2 years ago
Some mental conditions can cause a raging crush that can't be controlled. Did she want to get better and stay married?
Johnny Cakes 2 years ago
I was in divorce land 12 years ago. Ive now been happily married for 5 years. The right one will come along.
#28
After the kid was born. Total shift.
Turns out only I wanted to be a parent.
Boo-Urns 2 years ago
This is a conversation that MUST happen before you get married, and you must always remember that YOU CANNOT CHANGE THEIR MIND. A friend of mine never wanted kids. Ever. For as long as I'd known him, he was firm in that. Got married, and even though she knew (and apparently agreed) before the wedding, within a year she's bugging him about it. And, as the years went on, the bugging got more and more frequent, and more and more argumentative. She went through a very rough period health-wise, and when she came out on the other side she was infertile. One day she said to him, "I want to adopt". He slammed his foot down so hard I'm surprised it didn't register at the USGS. "I NEVER want children. EVER. And YOU KNOW THIS. If I'm not interested in having my own kids, there is LESS THAN ZERO PERCENT CHANCE I'M GOING TO ADOPT SOMEONE ELSE'S. Now shut the f--- up about this, forever. This is the LAST TIME we're having this conversation." They started working on the divorce within a month.
Pink Aesthetic 2 years ago
This is why kids should be discussed very thoroughly, not everyone realises they want them
Ken_Jane 2 years ago
It's strange how many people don't realise that not having children is an option, and that not wanting to be a parent doesn't make you a bad person. Pregnancy and child birth alone can be horrific and raising a child right is the hardest thing anyone will ever have to do. Some unfortunately only realise this after the fact. You couldn't pay me to even consider having a child. I'm not built for that
Bahrain Rico 2 years ago
I think you read this incorrectly. The person wrote "turns out ONLY I wanted to be a parent" meaning the other person did not want to be a parent, and they found that out after the child was born. They didn't write "I only wanted to be a parent and not a spouse or partner."
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Lakota Wolf (she/her) 2 years ago
...how do you want a parent to refer to their offspring? "The kid" is a valid, if casual, mode of referral. It's not like OP said "after the crotch-goblin was born" or "after the parasite was born".
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#29
When she f****d a high-school flame for a year whilst hiding it and staying home on my single income. We weren’t working. I knew that. I was trying to improve things, and we’d talked about it, but she somehow neglected to give me that detail. I’m not angry that she didn’t love me. But f**k, just tell me. Don’t do me dirty like that after thirteen years.
#30
He threw a surprise birthday for me, and towards the end I was inside near the food table and everyone had already gone outside. I affectionately called him over as he was passing by to have a moment, he rolled his eyes and walked on saying he was hanging out with so and so. Anyone, even a stranger on the road, was always more important, he just did not give a f**k about me. He only did things for how he would appear to others.
#31
When she sat me down and with a straight face said “I’ve thought about this and you’re not going to exercise anymore.” I was jogging a few miles a day and would usually bring kids with in running stroller. She said you’re a father and it’s too time consuming. That’s when I realized I made a terrible mistake lol. Catching her with another man in my car didn’t help the case to stay married
Papa Patata 2 years ago (edited)
The nerve to tell you not to exercise, wtf!? Running is my only outlet, if someone other than my body said this to me, I would laugh in their face
Captain McSmoot 2 years ago
She was sabotaging him so it would be more difficult to find someone else once she either decided to leave him or once he found out about the affair and left her. I'll never understand people who no longer want their spouse, yet they go through measures to make sure no one else can have them. It's a sickening form of control over someone they don't even want.
Sabra Faire 2 years ago
My ex broke my fingers, as he said "so I couldn't wear another man's ring". Then scared my face, as he said, "so no other man would want me".
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Annett Nyrud 2 years ago
Maybe the affair started since she felt the exercising was more important than spending time with her? Maybe she even felt that it was too time consuming because she felt alone with house work? Sometimes doing one's share of the work with the kids is not just taking them with you when you go do your thing... How long does "a few miles a day" take?
#32
When I asked for the most simple thing, please get up off your chair from playing videos games to greet me when I’m home from working a 12 hour day. He never did it.
Rachel Grig 2 years ago
These posts are so difficult to read, but there is something particularly heartbreaking about a partner for whom the most important thing is video games.
Princess Mar-li Cathryn 2 years ago
A former supervisor of mine was in a relationship like this. Once he "forgot" to make dinner on her birthday because he was playing WOW. She ended up leaving him...for a woman.
#33
I waited on her hand and foot. Every night, brought her a tea. Checked every room to make sure there were no intruders, went to the store for her if she wanted a snack, etc. One day I was really sick with the flu and asked if she'd get me a Gatorade from the store. She was shocked that I asked and said, "absolutely not." Then I thought about it and realized that she had never complimented me, supported me, nurtured me, consoled me or showed any level of emotional care for me. I knew at that moment that she never would. All she did was complain that I didn't do enough for her. It took me a while but I realized I was in an abusive relationship. The worst part is I tried to make it work, still, after all that and it was her that pushed me away because she wanted to move to Portland but it was also because I didn't make enough money at the time.
Charles St. John 2 years ago
I have been in relationship counseling twice. Each time they said the same thing world for word "Let the b***h go"
#34
When I saw her on an escort site
Lakota Wolf (she/her) 2 years ago
From OP on Reddit: "I got an email from unknown saying 'you don’t know me but I heard you are a good guy and you don’t deserve this [link to the site]' "
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#35
When our child was three months old and I had the absolute worst case of mastitis. I was so weak I couldn’t even pick up the baby. I asked him to please stay home from work and help me. He told me to call my mum, then left for work. I stuck it out for another 4 years, through various other scenarios similar to this one, but finally found the courage to leave. The moment I asked for a divorce I felt the weight of the world lift off my shoulders.
Charles St. John 2 years ago
I like Baby frog. She's right. It's supposed to be a partnership. My ex had a Cesarean and was laid up for 3 weeks. I bonded with my son during this time. It was wonderful.
#36
On my wedding day. We were married at her Parents house, a beautiful place on a private country club. The entire day was all about her, and she spent more time hanging out with her friend and getting drunk than with me. I stayed busy visiting with all the guests during the day. After all the guests left and it was down to her parents and me, I find her passed out drunk upstairs in a bedroom. I picked her up and carried her to our car to take her home. Needless to say our wedding night consisted of her sleeping it off. 5 years later she went in to in-patient treatment and after she sobered up and was released, she told me that she didn't love me and wanted a divorce.
hitex 2 years ago
Fortunately I was pregnant at my wedding so this didn't occur. But I am an alcoholic now - it's my duty to make up for my mistakes in my marriage now. I don't understand how you come out of rehab & say this. Sounds like NPD to me.
Potato 2 years ago
I understand how. Some people use alcohol as an emotional crutch. Take that away, and they have to come to terms with the truth about their feelings and find constructive ways to deal with them. It's likely that she was never in love with OP and drowned her emotions because she didn't want to admit that. There could be many reasons why that aren't listed here, like maybe she's closeted gay, or they were together for a kid, money, family pressure, whatever.
Load More Replies... Richard Michael 2 years ago
That means she met someone in recovery. Happens all the time. Doesn't make it any less sh*tty.
#37
The moment I had to “adjust” my boundaries, I knew I’m with the wrong guy. The worst happened last year, when after being together for 11 years, he chose to cheat with my niece who just turned 18 (I’m 30 btw). It’s not the first time he cheated too. It just kept getting worse from there. All the gaslighting and psychological trauma and abuse, I’d never wish that to anyone, not even on his mistresses. I wish our country have divorce (we’re in PH). we’re still together.
Lakota Wolf (she/her) 2 years ago
Yep. Welcome to Catholicism. Isn't religion great? /s
Load More Replies... Dimp1961 2 years ago
I cannot abide the Catholic Church, pleading poverty everywhere but own a magnificent amount of income earning property
Shane G 2 years ago
The Vatican itself is filled to the gills with gold and Ivory. Probably the wealthiest country on earth if someone actually audited it.
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Kimberly Buchanan Fisanick 2 years ago
That's so messed up. I hope eventually you can get a divorce and become happy
Christine Didier 2 years ago
I wish I could find someone to help me pack up all my stuff and leave while he's at work. I'm always nervous, anxious walking on eggshells, my health is suffering. HELP!!!
#38
We overheard some younger (20s) girls laughing and having a good time nearby. I thought to myself “that’s a great laugh, sounds like they’re having fun” and enjoyed some vicarious happiness. My wife heard the same laugh, looked over at me, rolled her eyes and went “god, I could just SLAP her.”
Nay Wilson 2 years ago
Your wife sounds like my mother. She hated hearing other people having fun and laughing. I could never figure out why.
#39
I had no idea how he felt about me. Almost 9 years together. He didn't propose, I did. He didn't tell his family when we married, they found out online. He never shared his energy or emotions with me. I ultimately had a realization that I didn't even know what he thought of me, other than that I was pretty. I didn't know if he thought I was cool or funny or interesting or smart. I would share myself with him. My thoughts, interests, humor. I'd get nothing in return. I realized it had always been this way. I felt unseen, unheard. I felt like I was boring and uninteresting. I didn't feel special. I just wanted to feel some sort of connection. I wanted our souls to meet. He seemed incapable.
Kobe (she) 2 years ago
I don't get this one. Why propose to someone like that ? Was it not a red flag that he did not invite his parents to the wedding in the first place? Normally, you tell the family before the wedding, not after - why didn't (either of) you ?
Lakota Wolf (she/her) 2 years ago
From OP on Reddit: "I have a few people asking why I stayed or why I proposed or why I married. We met really young, we went through a lot of firsts together. He was respectful, he was on track to a good path, I had a challenging home life. Although he was emotionally absent, he was secure and I never had felt security before."
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Charles St. John 2 years ago
Oh boy. This is on you for putting up with his indifference. It's okay. You can turn it around and find someone that will treat you appropriately. You are a goddess knucklehead.
#40
We had just moved out from my parent's place with our daughter. We had been living there for about 6 months because of financial difficulties (I was the only one working, he was not because of a bad back which ended up being a fake injury). We were not getting along at all while living there and for some reason I thought things would get better now that we had our own place. The opposite happened; the yelling and swearing got worse. His controlling behaviour just got worse and worse to the point where if I had a shower without permission he would bang on the door while screaming at me. I don't know the exact moment but it was sometime during that month that it all finally clicked in that it was never getting better. I knew he worked with some attractive women and I started hoping that he would have an affair with one of them and either leave me for her or it would give me the guts to leave. I still felt sorry for him because of his (fake) back injury. I stayed with him for another year and a half and in that time he forced me and our daughter to move far away from my parents because they were beginning to figure out that he was faking his injury. He ended our marriage 2 months after the move because I ran out of money for the first time in our relationship but we still lived together for around 6 months until he finally moved out because I suspect he wanted to get with another woman.
baby frog 2 years ago
as an adult she shouldn’t need permission to do anything for herself, like showering! absolutely ridiculous
Load More Replies... Charles St. John 2 years ago
I have a spare bedroom. You and your daughter can stay rent free and guess what? You can take a shower whenever you like. This is psychological abuse. You have to recognize that and reject it.
#41
This will be a different answer. My wife is definitely my soul mate and best friend. I'll never find anyone that I can share my true thoughts / soul with. She's everything I want in a mental partner. We complete each other in that regard. Sexuality wise, it's not the best match. Did I marry my best friend. Definitely. Was that a mistake. I don't know.
Lakota Wolf (she/her) 2 years ago
Going through this myself, in a way XD We've been together almost 23 years. We needed to communicate a lot more about sexual compatibility. We're working on it now :)
Con O Cuinn 2 years ago
Think dude is saying he's gay. Sexuality is very different from sexual compatibility
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Tracy Lynn 2 years ago
The sex thing can be worked on, its having your best friend think your their best friend that is rare...
#42
When I realized that they were just mirroring my personality the entire time we dated after several years of marriage. They don’t have an original thought or individual aspirations. They have to be walked through every aspect of their life. They married me in hopes that I would mother them. They don’t even have an interest in sex after they found out it also requires emotional intimacy on their part. Dragged them to the doctor who put them on SSRI’s. Begged them to go to therapy. They kept quitting and could never give me adequate reasons why. We went to a couples therapist who they manipulated into believing they had low self esteem. The therapist told me to “love them through it.” I sought out my own therapy. The clinician helped me realize I was being manipulated into the role of caregiver without my consent. I told them I was leaving. They promised to seek help. New therapist saw them for 2 years. Within the first 7 months they were diagnosed as a covert narcissist. They eventually admitted to me that they got married to escape their home life. Their mother is a diagnosed narcissist who severely crippled her children emotionally and mentally. Him specifically by putting him into the golden child role. In her eyes he is so perfect no one deserves him and at the same time she degrades and demeans him when he use’s agency. We are separated. I’ve never been happier. He’s utterly miserable because he moved back home. He would rather endure his mother’s abuse than be responsible for his own decisions. Hope they are happy together! They deserve each other!
Lakota Wolf (she/her) 2 years ago (edited)
It is not a child's fault that they grew up in a disordered home to disordered parents and are afflicted with disorders themselves once they are adults. However, it IS their *responsibility* (once they are adults) to seek help to fix those disorders. I'm 41 and still working through this myself :) It's not my FAULT that my mother is a toxic narcissist who constantly told me I should be "grateful" that she adopted me, but it is my responsibility to fix my problems that affect me, my relationships, and my life today.
#43
We had been engaged for just over a year (together for around a decade) and I realized I didn’t actually want to be with her, I just was too invested and I didn’t want to make her upset. I knew we would end up getting divorced at some point down the road so I decided to end it before then. Went to therapy and realized I had spent my whole childhood trying to make my parents happy, and then I immediately got into a relationship and spent all of my adulthood trying to make her happy. I was miserable because of it but I just didn’t know.
#44
When getting totally wasted with his friends on our wedding night was more important than being with me. He stayed up all night drinking and I went to bed alone. It was a foreshadowing of the rest of our marriage. Had 2 kids with him hoping he’d turn it around, but he was an alcoholic. Divorced 6 years ago.
What do you think ?
Cheshirecasss 2 years ago
After 17 hard years, I brought up the possibility of divorce. His response was, "I'm ok if we do and I'm ok if we don't." I realized in that moment that I didn't matter at all. Divorced 4 years this month.
KombatBunni 2 years ago
When my now ex husband told me 8 months into our marriage that he didn’t trust or respect me..I married far too young to make my family happy and I realised too late I’d made a huge mistake. I’ve spent the last 31 years trying to get a life that I’m happy with
Doodles1983 2 years ago
I got home, told my husband my mum had cancer. He left 5 minutes later to play a local area lawn bowls game.
Tracy Jones 2 years ago
i really wanted out as soon as it started but the kicker was when he told me i needed to obey him. your wife is your property and you can treat her any way you want. umm nope not this girl. took me 2 years but i divorced him. he even threatened me with a rifle he kept nearby saying he wouldnt allow me to leave. so glad i did
john courtney 2 years ago
We met when I was 21. She is 5 years older than me. She basically forced her way into living with me. I helped her pay down some debt that her ex-husband had saddled her with. My mom helped her get a job because she had a criminal record because of another ex, who probably wasn't the greatest guy. She took out all of her mistrust that they created on me. I tried to buy her things to make her happy, she was never happy. She was very manipulative. I didn't realize how much so until the relationship was basically over. I got in trouble for wanting to go golfing or have friends or hang out with family. She left me because I was not the "perfect" guy that she wanted. Apparently she was in love with someone else from her childhood, that I'd heard about in passing. They recently got married. She still wears the jewelry and bags and other things I bought her. She also had me take a bunch of pics of just her when we would go travel anywhere. Didn't realize she was using me so badly until after.
Cheshirecasss 2 years ago
After 17 hard years, I brought up the possibility of divorce. His response was, "I'm ok if we do and I'm ok if we don't." I realized in that moment that I didn't matter at all. Divorced 4 years this month.
KombatBunni 2 years ago
When my now ex husband told me 8 months into our marriage that he didn’t trust or respect me..I married far too young to make my family happy and I realised too late I’d made a huge mistake. I’ve spent the last 31 years trying to get a life that I’m happy with
Doodles1983 2 years ago
I got home, told my husband my mum had cancer. He left 5 minutes later to play a local area lawn bowls game.
Tracy Jones 2 years ago
i really wanted out as soon as it started but the kicker was when he told me i needed to obey him. your wife is your property and you can treat her any way you want. umm nope not this girl. took me 2 years but i divorced him. he even threatened me with a rifle he kept nearby saying he wouldnt allow me to leave. so glad i did
john courtney 2 years ago
We met when I was 21. She is 5 years older than me. She basically forced her way into living with me. I helped her pay down some debt that her ex-husband had saddled her with. My mom helped her get a job because she had a criminal record because of another ex, who probably wasn't the greatest guy. She took out all of her mistrust that they created on me. I tried to buy her things to make her happy, she was never happy. She was very manipulative. I didn't realize how much so until the relationship was basically over. I got in trouble for wanting to go golfing or have friends or hang out with family. She left me because I was not the "perfect" guy that she wanted. Apparently she was in love with someone else from her childhood, that I'd heard about in passing. They recently got married. She still wears the jewelry and bags and other things I bought her. She also had me take a bunch of pics of just her when we would go travel anywhere. Didn't realize she was using me so badly until after.
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