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30 Terrifying Private Conversations People Overheard And Just Had To Share I heard a dude grunting in the stall next to me trying to poop but they were clearly phantom poops.

Although, every time he farted he broke out into a hysterical laughter and would then return to grunting.

The grunting got louder and louder until he just let out this epic GRUNT. Seriously, I thought he was s***ting a boulder. I think the whole Student Union heard him.

Anyway, after the huge grunt I heard the smallest "plop" and all hell broke loose.

He was cheering at this victory by banging on the side of the stall. Screaming with happiness. Between his screaming laughter he would yell, "F**k you poop! You can't control me!"

I think he forgot to wipe and wash his hands because then he just walked out.

I still wonder if I should try to be more proud of the poops I take.

[deleted] , Ondosan Sinaga Report

Final score:

242points

POST

C. Wade 2 years ago

Wow I've dropped some logs in my time but I've never been this f*cking proud of them haha. Maybe he was really constipated and finally popped the cork on his champagne.

112points

ahylianhero , August de Richelieu Report

We reached out to Veronica Galvan, Ph.D., a professor in the Psychology department at the University of San Diego, to learn more about eavesdropping and why we are so fascinated by what strangers have to say.

According to her, private conversations may catch our attention for several reasons. “They may contain personal information, and these interesting tidbits from other people’s lives may pique our interest.” Interestingly, such interactions also increase our curiosity because they may seem annoying.

30 Terrifying Private Conversations People Overheard And Just Had To Share I use to work at a Honda factory in Alabama and they get a lot of workers in from temp agencies, so you tend to get a lot of weird ones. As I'm walking back from my lunch break, I pass two guys and accidentally overhear, "I just want to impregnate the first thing I see." My only thoughts were, "Don't make eye contact, don't make eye contact, don't make eye contact."

Final score:

219points

POST

Kanuli 2 years ago

This must be some kind of kink..maybe?

28points

The following stories were featured on another topic similar in nature (which I later featured on my blog)...

Four or five years ago, a friend of mine and I decided to stop at a Steak ‘N Shake after competing in an intense 10K for inline speed skating. You know… load up on carbs, calories, and grease to relax after a hard morning. After receiving our food and starting to enjoy our food, we both heard the following conversation take place:

Man: I wish we had more time… you know… really enjoy the foreplay instead of jumping right to it.

Woman: I know, baby. My husband gets home early and we can’t afford getting caught.

Man: Why don’t you just leave him already? You know damn well you don’t love him anymore. You know I can provide you with everything he does and then some.

Woman: But the kids…

Man: Consider their college paid for. In cash. You know I can do it.

Woman: I love you.

Man: Then come be with me.

Woman: Next week, okay?

They then kissed each other passionately (read: make out with slobbery tongue action) and left.

ಠ_ಠ

Okay... not so creepy, but still disturbing. Another gem of a story that made me REALLY uncomfortable...

About two years ago, I had traveled out of town to go visit a jobsite my company was contracted for and wanted to enjoy a nice treat: Steak ‘N Shake. (See… we don’t have any around where I live and the closest one is at least 70 miles away; If I’m near one, I enjoy the hell out of it.) Again… I had just ordered my food and I suddenly begin overhearing the conversation taking place behind me. The voices sounded older… late 50′s, maybe early 60′s.

Man 1: Oh! I forgot to tell you I talked to Jenny [not exact name] the other day!

Man 2: Sweet! How’s she doing? How’s her daughter?

Man 1: She’s great, man. Her daughter is as beautiful as ever.

Man 2: Good deal. I remember her daughter used to be SMOKING hot. I wish I could [censored, for the sake of my sanity] before the school boys get to it!

Man 1: Oh, you and me both!

Man 2: How old is she now?

Man 1: She just turned 13.

...

What in the royal horse f**k did I just hear?

SPDSKTR Report

Final score:

209points

POST

El muerto 2 years ago

this makes me want to punch somebody, mostly those two assholes.

174points

“Bystanders to these private conversations may think that it’s inappropriate to discuss personal topics in public settings. In some cases, the bystanders are a captive audience; for example, they’re not able to leave because they’re waiting in line, or dining at a restaurant,” she added. People usually don’t appreciate their inability to escape the conversation and may end up feeling irritated. This often causes them to pay increased attention to the dialogue. “It’s an itch that can’t be scratched.”

30 Terrifying Private Conversations People Overheard And Just Had To Share I overheard someone in a bathroom talking to themselves in Yoda's voice saying "mmm tough this one is, use the force I must".

8 years ago, still creeps me out

rodgeramjit Report

Final score:

188points

POST

El muerto 2 years ago

Why? that's funny, is hilarious...who doesn't talk to himself in Yoda's voice from time to time?

132points

30 Terrifying Private Conversations People Overheard And Just Had To Share I was in a PATH train car with about 10 or 11 businesswomen. All middle aged. All looking pretty damn professional. 8 or 9 of them looked pretty damn sexy(if I do say so myself)

They were going on about how to trick men into getting them pregnant. Not even to trap them in a relationship. They just had the baby rabies.

Like they left a convention or something.

I made eye contact with another dude on the train. I'm pretty sure we were thinking the same damn thing.

[deleted] , wikipedia Report

Final score:

172points

POST

Earl Grey 2 years ago

Hook them up with the Alabama temp from Honda.

168points

Galvan provided another reason why is it so difficult for us not to listen to private exchanges. “There’s an intriguing possibility that these private conversations may be even more attention-grabbing due to the pandemic. If people have spent increased time at home, there’s a sameness to the days, a blurring of time. Others’ private conversations may offer some distinctiveness to the day, a respite from the sameness.”

When asked if we awaken the nosy little eavesdropper within us on purpose, the professor said that listening to others’ conversations could happen consciously or subconsciously. “Our minds want to make sense of the world around us. If there is something interesting (or annoying) happening in our environment, we will latch onto that so we can better understand what is happening, why it’s happening, and whether it has any relevance to us.”

Not creepy, but more funny. I was in Applebees when this dude and his date/gf sit down at the table next to us. They launch into boring conversation about how shampoo is the governments way of controlling our minds. Then gf shouts "No way!" Everyone turns and looks and she blushes and lowers her voice. I, of course, listened.

"You...you're not really Jesus...are you?"

Dude smirked and nodded, and gf looked thoroughly impressed.

Pretty sure dude got laid that night.

Tl;dr, Jesus eats at Applebees

Final score:

170points

POST

El muerto 2 years ago

a sucker born everyday

51points

Alix Weich Dahlen , Stanislav Ivanitskiy Report

30 Terrifying Private Conversations People Overheard And Just Had To Share A guy I was standing near in the bar: "You know, the simple fact of the matter is, I could easily drug and [sexually overpower] any of these chicks. Most of them I wouldn't even have to drug, because I'm obviously stronger."

His friend: "That's one hundred percent fact. Hell, I'd help if she turned out the be a fighter. You know that."

I could pretend they were having a hypothetical discussion about women's safety issues, if it wasn't for that second guy's reply.

Final score:

168points

POST

El muerto 2 years ago

seldom see such clear demonstration of how rapist think? honestly is not like they don't know is wrong, just don't care about rights and human worth. people are scary sometimes

125points

Rabbi_Koufax , Mehmet Turgut Kirkgoz Report

“Our brains try to impose meaning and patterns onto the world around us. Sometimes the relevance is obvious, but other times, not so much—like hearing the “tick-tock” of a clock that is actually repeating the same sound over and over again.”

Galvan mentioned that people find overheard interactions entertaining because of the unpredictability of the content as well as the missing context. “It’s a mystery for our brains to solve, and our minds may especially welcome this challenge to counter the sameness of our pandemic days,” she concluded.

30 Terrifying Private Conversations People Overheard And Just Had To Share When I was at In-N-Out at 1 AM having your average post-drinking midnight meal, There was a homeless guy in the corner, quite dirty and obviously trying to subtly eat some leftovers someone left because he was hungry. Some drunk frat bros were making fun of him, telling him to go back to his hole and other insults. After a few minutes of this, the homeless guy got up, stood on his table, and literally put a curse on them. I forget his exact wording because the scene was so shocking and I couldn't believe what I was seeing/hearing, but it was something to the effect of "I hereby curse you never to father healthy children and to die a painful death without love in the next year. You will be tortured by Satan for all eternity I swear it". The employees called the cops and the homeless dude left.

TL;DR: Homeless Man puts a curse on some a-holes at In-N-out.

Final score:

144points

POST

AzKhaleesi 2 years ago

I really want to know what happened in the up coming year.

94points

#10

30 Terrifying Private Conversations People Overheard And Just Had To Share When I was a bartender, I could overhear quite a few conversations. The most unnerving came when I saw a man hand another man a small brown container with a white cap. I only overheard snippets:

"… won't remember anything."

"Even from what happened before. Total eraser."

"… do it again and again."

"…. get blackouts. You don't know what kind of damage that does."

"… pass out? I'm not a necrophiliac."

"No, they participate all right…"

Martyn V. Halm , Axel Breuer Report

Final score:

142points

POST

Aaricia 2 years ago

I do hope you called the police.

219points

#11

30 Terrifying Private Conversations People Overheard And Just Had To Share "Send the money back to Jamaica, or everyone's gonna die!"

I was waiting at a bus stop when a woman walked past me, screaming this into her phone. I'd very much like to find out if they sent the money back.

JaggedJack , Karolina Grabowska Report

Final score:

132points

POST

Caro Caro 2 years ago

Voodoo.

14points

#12

30 Terrifying Private Conversations People Overheard And Just Had To Share Back in elementary school and middle school, this one kid would be rapidly scribbling pictures in his notebook with his face practically two inches away from the page. He would mutter extreme violent things but I didn't think much of it. Even though he was constantly called into the school psychologists office and was into killing, he never pulled anything in school. To be honest I was glad I graduated and got away from him. He always made me nervous.

Fast forward to last year: My freshman year of college! I'm all happily relaxing in the library, when suddenly I hear that voice again. God dammit he goes to my college now ಠ_ಠ

Throwaway4MyThrowawy , Dom Fou Report

Final score:

124points

POST

El muerto 2 years ago

dude is not necessarily dangerous, but he do need help. lots of it

58points

#13

I was sitting in my room quietly working on homework (I was in college at the time) and overheard two men (one of whom lived in the room next to me) calmly discussing the best way to [sexually overpower] me. It was 10am and they were already drinking beer. They were discussing tactics like drugging my food or drink, or physically overpowering me on my way to the bathroom, either very early or late when no one would be awake to hear me scream.

They then started discussing the vile things they wanted to do, mostly involving [harming] me in vicious and inventive ways.

AK-Grosskopf Report

Final score:

121points

POST

Chava Bahle 2 years ago

Are you okay? Do you need help? I'm concerned about your safety and well-being.

101points

#14

30 Terrifying Private Conversations People Overheard And Just Had To Share "No, shut up. Just shut up. Listen to me. Go get some trash bags and rent a Uhaul. Everything's gonna be fine, I'll be there in 10 minutes." She then got up and walked out of the lobby while I exchanged horrified looks with the hotel cashier.

Shark_P**n , Jeremy Bezanger Report

Final score:

116points

POST

T. D. Bostick 2 years ago

This didn't have to be significant. Maybe they had a lot of trash.

47points

#15

30 Terrifying Private Conversations People Overheard And Just Had To Share At Starbucks in a pretty affluent area. Two soccer moms are having a conversation about mom #1's 12-year-old son [inappropriately touching] his sister who sounded close in age. It was graphic and detailed about what he did and what they were doing to stop it. They were talking in normal tones and not even being remotely secretive about this.

No, I didn't call the cops. No one is going to believe a poor kid over rich soccer moms anyway.

howisthisnottaken , TR Report

Final score:

114points

POST

Katinka Min 2 years ago

But they WERE going to stoop it?? Good grief, the poor girl. Inapproiate touching is no unsual in very smalll kids, because they are just curios. But a 12 year old boy know better.

63points

#16

30 Terrifying Private Conversations People Overheard And Just Had To Share At Burger King one day, "And they found her dead in the river?..... Who pulled her out?.... Oh, she was murdered?" It was a guy talking very loudly on his cell phone. There was an audible sigh of relief when he left.

level 1 [deleted] Report

Final score:

113points

POST

Daria Z 2 years ago

Maybe he missed an episode of his favorite TV show?

97points

BirdHeadedPhysician , Artur Tumasjan Report

#17

30 Terrifying Private Conversations People Overheard And Just Had To Share I was at an airport and had to use the restroom. This was in one of the smaller terminals so there was practically nobody near where I was except for in the stall next to me. I had sat down and was going about my business when all of the sudden I hear this high, feminine giggling coming from the occupied stall, please note, I was in the men's restroom. So I figure that some random lady got lost and ended up in the wrong restroom, but then I hear another, deeper voice telling the lady to be quiet. So I sit there for a moment, wanting to finish up as quickly as possible so I can leave before things get graphic, but I was too late when all of the sudden the guy yells: "Christ, you've got a d**k!" The stall door banged open and I heard the guy speed out of the bathroom, the 'girl' close behind him. I then took the shortest dump of my life and hurried back to my gate, my brain full of f**k. TL;DR: The Crying Game went down in the bathroom stall right next to me.

Final score:

109points

POST

Dodo 2 years ago

"Girl" doesn't need to be in quote marks.

50points

#18

30 Terrifying Private Conversations People Overheard And Just Had To Share Work in prison so there is a lot, but one inmate telling me she was going to toss poo at me unless I fed her my boogers takes the list so far.

Mr_Fffish , RODNAE Productions Report

Final score:

106points

POST

MilaFi 2 years ago

Ew, no. I did not want to read this, how to erase this, I want to!

58points

Jelly the Bean 2 years ago

artworks-2...00x500.jpg Have some unsee juice, hope it helps!

19points

TheHappyBookCat 2 years ago

Jeez, lady, eat your own booger! We all know how!

4points

Don't Look 2 years ago

There’s a degree in psychology that gets you the job (career in some cases) that requires that you listen to “prison crazies” all day. The one 20 year old whom I met couldn’t handle it because she said she couldn’t believe the inmates would masturbate in front of her during their evaluations. I wonder what she was expecting. They are incarcerated. Many of them have stopped caring.

4points

Bobby 2 years ago

In social worker years, I was required to take infants and toddlers to prisons to visit incarcerated parents. No strollers allowed, so I would have to carry them down long hallways. The things I heard will haunt me forever, and I tried my best to cover ears of those babies.

6points

AzKhaleesi 2 years ago

She was SMI for sure (Seriously Mentally Ill)

3points

Arlo_CL 2 years ago

What a terrible day to have eyes!?

1point

Kona Pake 2 years ago

Obviously, she was suffering from a deficiency.

1point

Lovin' Life 2 years ago

Wow! Gross! Wow!

1point

C. Wade 2 years ago

Umm. No.

1point

backatya 2 years ago

give her your boogers. It beats eating them yourself

0points

LynzCatastrophe 2 years ago

Okaaaaay then.....

0points

Just A Banana. 2 years ago

LMAO 🤣🤣🤣

0points

Cecily Holland 2 years ago

All day in her cell and that was the best she could come up with?

0points

Miles Dowdeswell 2 years ago

I now want a undo/rewind button for my life so that I dont have to read this.

0points

The Sorrows of Mother LoveJoy 2 years ago

Did u feed her?😬

0points

I like donuts 2 years ago

Great. Looking for something wholesome to read on BP at 11 pm and THIS comes up?

0points

BasedWang 2 years ago

Sooooo.... Did you? Did she? Why the f*****g cliffhanger

0points

#19

30 Terrifying Private Conversations People Overheard And Just Had To Share Not creepy, but I overheard it:

SCENE: I enter the bathroom at a bar and head to the urinal. GUY 1 is slumped in the stall over the toilet. GUY 2 pops his head in.

GUY 2: Hey Rocco, you okay?

GUY 1: Ugghhhh.... Yeah.

GUY 2: You sure Rocco?

GUY 1: Mmmmmm... Ugh... fine.

pause

GUY 2: Happy birthday Rocco.

pause

GUY 2: You sure you're okay?

GUY 1: DO I LOOK LIKE I'M F***ING OKAY!?!

Scene

[deleted] , Yena Kwon Report

Final score:

106points

POST

El muerto 2 years ago

Rocco had too much something, hope Rocco remembers his birthday

32points

#20

30 Terrifying Private Conversations People Overheard And Just Had To Share "I love you, but I can't let you throw my baby out the window." Said by drunk redneck lady to her male companion at a hole in the wall Mexican restaurant. She kept repeating it to the man, still have no clue what events took place in their lives to lead up to that conversation.

BeePinata , Marcus Herzberg Report

Final score:

101points

POST

Mavis 2 years ago

I'm thinking baby is not an actual baby.

41points

#21

30 Terrifying Private Conversations People Overheard And Just Had To Share While having breakfast one morning in 2015, at a pousada somewhere in the Northeast of Brazil, I overheard the British owner say the following to some of his friends:

"So in terms of the new law, even if the boy consents or seduces you, YOU can still be charged [...] if he was underage."

Emile Myburgh , Dan Gold Report

Final score:

98points

POST

El muerto 2 years ago

well of course you f**k! this whole post is getting me mad

65points

#22

'So we were basically playing Russian roulette with the gun up my a**' said one police officer to the other...

danbreeno92 Report

Final score:

95points

POST

Kathryn Baylis 2 years ago

I am really hoping it was just a metaphor.

57points

#23

I was babysitting my 4 year old cousin not too long ago. I had been fostering a mama cat and her litter of kittens.

The kid was playing with the kittens in my living room while I was cooking lunch and I overheard her singing "Gonna catch a kitty. Gonna have it for lunch." Over and over again.

Kids are creepy.

homicidalsquirrel Report

Final score:

92points

POST

Luther von Wolfen 2 years ago

I regularly tell my cats I'm fattening them up for Thanksgiving.

58points

Tillman Huett-Lassman Report

#24

A father is talking about his two daughters age 6 and 9.

Him: Yeah she has a body like a boy now but once she gets older, I'm sure she'll have a sexy body.

Everyone in the room: err

Him: Just like her mom, you know. I know if I was a boy their age that I would be trying to be really close friends with them.

Final score:

87points

POST

Insert Generic Username 2 years ago

Sounds like Trump talking about Ivanka. Eww.

132points

#25

overheard a crazy hippies plan to put a oz of shrooms into 4 separate brownies and feed them to someone he referred to as the son of satan

Luchichi Report

Final score:

84points

POST

Kathryn Baylis 2 years ago

No. Just. No.

18points

#26

30 Terrifying Private Conversations People Overheard And Just Had To Share Two guys are talking next to me at a restaurant.

Guy 1: Dude, how do you decide if you take her to her place or your place?

Guy 2: It depends on how rough I want [it] to get.

Guy 1: What do you mean?

Guy 2: Well, if I get rough and we're at her place, she kicks me out and I have to go home in the middle of the night. If we're at my place, the girl can leave and I'm already in bed.

Dushka Zapata , Creative Vix Report

Final score:

81points

POST

Susie Elle 2 years ago

Chaotic evil

47points

#27

This kid sat behind me in a class for the better part of a year. One day he was talking about how he got suspended for having a journal filled with the names of people he wanted to kill and how he would do it.
His rationalization of it was "better than me actually killing them!"

Final score:

75points

POST

Katinka Min 2 years ago

That is true, but putting repeating thoguhts like this over and over, putting them in writinge etc is mentally extremely unhealthy.

30points

#28

Me and a friend went to the Krystal Burger on Bourbon Street one night to try and eat off our drunkness. While we're waiting for our food to come out, a younger homeless looking guy walks up to us with some sort of walkie-talkie looking thing. We had a nice little chat about his device:

Friend: "Hey man, that's a cool looking radio. What's it for?"

Guy: "I can listen to WHATEVER radio signals I WANT to from all OVER THE COUNTRY!"

Friend: "Oh, that's cool. What do you listen to? Police stations?"

Guy: "Yeah yeah...I can listen to them. That's no fun though. The BEST stuff is from hotel workers!"

We just kind of laugh at this point and stop talking to him, but crazy guy's found someone to talk to. He's not letting this go.

Guy: "This thing is SO powerful. I could tune in to any camera in the country right now. I COULD EVEN WATCH YOUR SISTER MENSTRUATE!!!"

At this point, everyone in the place gets wide-eyed and stares at the guy. Me and my friend just laugh and walk out of the place chomping on those delicious little burgers.

ootika Report

Final score:

69points

POST

Katinka Min 2 years ago

You are watching women menstruate all the time, Dude. It happens while we are out and about and it really not THAT spectacular.

95points

Dutch Swimmer Goes Viral For Super Revealing Trunks During 2024 Olympics: “Is This Legal?”

See Also on Bored Panda

Thrill-Seeking Diver Jumps Down Extreme Waterslide, Ignoring The Strict Ban For Women

#29

One time I was in a public men's restroom. I was in a stall. I heard guy come in to the stall next to me. Right when he got in he says, "Mmm tasty." Then I heard the usual diarrhea fart sounds. Then he started to say, "Oh yeah!!! Oh f**k yeah!!! Oh yes!!!" He kept saying that for at least ten minutes. He sounded like he was having an orgasm while taking a s**t. The whole situation was so weird.

gold16 Report

Final score:

67points

POST

Davo gifman 2 years ago

An you just stayed in there for 10 minutes listening to it all. What the hell is wrong with you?

94points

#30

I was playing in an underground poker room, everything was going smoothly. The table was fun and everyone was having a good time. Chips were flying around, jokes were being made, etc... There was this one older gentleman, probably around 65 years old who would always come by and buy in for the minimum. He mostly came to socialize and the poker was secondary.

The TV was on, and they were showing footage of some swimsuit competition or something. There was a gorgeous girl on the tv and naturally all of the table starting talking about how hot she was... Then the old guy turns to me and drops this one - "I would suck the s**t out of her a** with a straw."

LAXbound Report

Final score:

65points

POST

inky Panda 2 years ago

i-wa-I DONT EVAN HAVE THE WORDS FOR THIS

38points

Woman Put A Water Fountain With A Camera In Her Yard, Here Are 24 Photos Of Regular Visitors (New Pics)

Continue reading with Bored Panda Premium

Unlimited content

Ad-free browsing

Dark mode

See Also on Bored Panda

“Ma’am I Live Here”: Woman Refuses To Back Out Of Driveway, Learns A Lesson The Hard Way

#31

Overheard my sisters ex-boyfriend talking about how he stabbed a guy in the head with a butchers knife.

plastic_shadow Report

Final score:

29points

POST

inky Panda 2 years ago

LOCK THE DOORS EVERYNIGHT

14points

#32

Two dudes in the stall next to me at CHilis...

"oh yea. Your tongue is so warm in my a**." Other guy, "jeez, jared, when's the last time you CLEANED your hole? Ive got s**t in my teeth. "

I didnt finish my dinner...

Final score:

28points

POST

C. Wade 2 years ago

Alright, I made it down to #38, this is my cue to leave this thread. Nope. F*ck no. See y'all later.

37points

#33

30 Terrifying Private Conversations People Overheard And Just Had To Share So this kid sat behind me in a class for the better part of a year. Then one day he went behind me and said " i will lick your sweat" in a creepy voice.

leavenger , Max Fischer Report

Final score:

27points

POST

inky Panda 2 years ago

kids are freaks mostly from grades k-1 to 6

6points

#34

I wore a corset with a shrug (half-jacket) over it to work one day. Around lunch time I went to the break room and said hi to my male coworker. He asked if I was having lunch, I responded "just grabbing a snack". As I leaned into the fridge I heard a quiet "heh, heh, I'll snack on you". I did not go back to the break room until quitting time.

Kyoti Report

Final score:

26points

POST

C. Wade 2 years ago

Call HR.

22points

50 Of The Most Incredible Shots That Were Submitted To The Comedy Wildlife Photography Awards

See Also on Bored Panda

French Diver’s “Jewels” In Tight Swimming Trunks Become Talk Of The Town At Olympics

#35

Sitting in my back yard, I once heard the neighbor girl yell at her little sister: "I will take a fork and stab your eye and pluck it out!"

The little sister started giggling.

solaritybusk Report

Final score:

26points

POST

Daveychop 2 years ago

Sounds like you neighbours are the Addams family

13points

penumbrasofprivacy Report

#36

A friend told me this: "The reason we can't human meat, it's the greatest tasting meat in the world."

Final score:

24points

POST

Scagsy 2 years ago (edited)

If anyone should find any loose words, please be a dear and return them to this post.

55points

#37

At a bar, heard some people having a conversation about sex, okay then, thats normal, but from out of no where a single sentance nearly made me spit drink on my friend. The guy had very audibly said to a girl "show me your hymen" dunno if she did. Dunno if i care. But he was creepy as balls.

LukeTheSheep Report

Final score:

24points

POST

Hann 2 years ago

DUNNO IF SHE DID, DUDE

6points

#38

Me and my friend were walking through a hallway in school, and all we hear while walking past these two kids is one of them saying "Masturbating with a hockey stick"

MahooMushi Report

Final score:

23points

POST

Kay blue 2 years ago

Anything is a dildo if you are brave enough.

26points

Woman Moves Out Of Parents' Home After They Asked Her To Give Her Space To Brother, They Freak Out

See Also on Bored Panda

Mom Leaves $250k Inheritance To Son, Throws A Fit When Daughter Stops Looking After Her

#39

Came into work on a Saturday morning. I could hear the unmistakable sounds of p**nography wafting from my conservative, rich boss' office. When I call out "hello?", I hear two male voices in the office.

I totally split before anyone could come out of the office. Never could look my boss in the eye for the rest of that job.

oh_the_humidity Report

Final score:

23points

POST

Kathryn Baylis 2 years ago (edited)

Highly inappropriate, and grounds for termination in reputable companies. Especially if they used the company computer. ND if the other person was a lower level employee. Why aren’t people more discreet, and just take their monkey business elsewhere? I mean, if you’re going to do rotten dirty s**t, then keep it in your pants at work and in public, not only to keep it secret but also to keep from grossing the rest of us out. And risking blowing up your entire life and hurting people who actually do love you.

9points

#40

I was in line at some restaurant, and these two guys were discussing eating human bacon. They said that the person's info could be on the package so you could pick the "best taste". I gagged and got out of line.

b1t3m3 Report

Final score:

20points

POST

Lovin' Life 2 years ago

Very disturbing

5points

#41

Not really creepy, but it's still pretty sexual.

It was during the end of my freshman year. Everyone said their goodbyes, and we were getting ready for the summer.

Fast forard to Lunchtime. I always ate next to my best friends and next to my secret crush. At the time, she was in a relationship with some other guy, so I didn't talk to her much, since her boyfriend was sitting there at the time.

Me and my friends are talking about what we plan to do in the summer, When I can't help but overhear my crushe's conversation with her boyfriend.

She says to him "Baby, my throat still hurts from last night." Then he replies "So your still soar from last night?" She replies "Its like you shoved it down my throat way too fast and hard, but I could go another round tonight, probably a little anal" He then says "Well thats a good way to end the school year!"

By this time, I cant help but slowly turn around and stare at them. They stare back for about a minute, which felt like an eternity. I break the akward staring by swiftly putting my tray away and leaving the lunch room. We never talked since.

Edit: Had a few typos I had to fix.

Final score:

19points

POST

itzybitsy 1111 2 years ago

FRESHMAN??? FRESHMAN?!?!?!?!!

14points

Woman Refuses To Chip In For Babysitting Because She Doesn’t Even Have Kids, Asks If She’s A Jerk

See Also on Bored Panda

“This Breaks My Heart”: People Stunned—And Angry—After Woman Buys Lost Luggage From Airport

#42

I don't know if you'd call it creepy, but my g/f at the time and I were eating at a fancy restaurant one town over for Valentines day.

The people at the table behind us started loading up on wine and talking very loudly. They apparently worked in the same OR and were discussing all of the s**t they'd do improperly. I hope to god I'm never hurt or need an operation where those people work.

InferiousX Report

Final score:

19points

POST

Aisling Raye 2 years ago

I have worked in hospitals (yes more than one) that have made me strongly consider getting a tattoo that says something along the lines of "don't take me to hospital xyz" on the off chance I get in an accident and need emergency care.

4points

#43

My friend and I went to the pool and overheard a conversation between a few teenagers. The girl exclaimed quite loudly that she "walked in and there was poo on her bed." She went on to say that she couldn't do anything about it so she slept on the floor.

fallingforbananas Report

Final score:

19points

POST

Kathryn Baylis 2 years ago

Potty training a puppy or kitten?

11points

#44

I overheard a girl asking whatever god she believes in to let her know who her boyfriend was with at the very moment.

beetledriver Report

Final score:

18points

POST

Kathryn Baylis 2 years ago

And hoping it was nobody.

5points

"I Didn't Start The Dryer": Karen Gets Taught A Lesson After Throwing Out Neighbor's Wet Clothes

See Also on Bored Panda

Guy Divorced 3 Years Ago Drops Off 3 Y.O. With His Ex-Wife Completely Out Of The Blue

#45

When I was in high school making up creepy stuff around random passersby was a pretty common pastime among me and my friends. We'd be walking down the street and we'd take turns saying the most outrageous stuff we could think of as we walked by people. Generally, whoever we agreed came up with the best line didn't have to pay for or dinner next time we all went out.

Nostromo26 Report

Final score:

18points

POST

inky Panda 2 years ago

maybe thats what all of these are

14points

#46

"No, not in the mouth!" - heard really loudly from the backstage after a folk-concert in Eastern Europe.

cauners Report

Final score:

18points

POST

Kathryn Baylis 2 years ago

Need more context. They may have been talking about someone—-possibly even a toddler, you know how they try to taste every damn thing—-who accidentally put something in their mouth that they shouldn’t have.

10points

#47

In a men's bathroom in some club in Germany: 'I can totally see why you're a 'bottom'... giggle

Final score:

17points

POST

ADHORTATOR 2 years ago

it depends of the club....

8points

#48

A guy to the woman he was walking with: "I want you to breastfeed me"

kentrel Report

Final score:

15points

POST

Sofia Gonzalez 2 years ago

That's disgusting

4points

“All Three Shot Out Pink”: Triplets' Baby Shower Turns Sour, Pregnant Wife Wants A Divorce

See Also on Bored Panda

College Student Does Exactly As Told After Roommates Demand They Keep Their Stuff In Their Room

#49

"I love you, Daddy." from the next bathroom stall over.

Lots42 Report

Final score:

15points

POST

Aubry 2 years ago

If it was a kid that's understandable, sometimes parents can't leave small kids alone while they use the bathroom. However if it was an adult's voice that's a whole different story

17points

#50

I overheard a girl talking with her friend trying to decide if she would be up for hitting the club after getting an abortion.

flatlineskillz Report

Final score:

15points

POST

Kathryn Baylis 2 years ago

No, she won’t be. Guaranteed.

6points

#51

Was in a bathroom stall in high school. Someone walked into the stall next to me, started to crap violently and loudly. with each fire of his artillery he let out an equally destructive string of cuss words. When his crap would subside for a minute I could hear him unroll some toilet paper, and rub it together really fast. I don't know where he rubbed it or what, nor did I care. It was weird but one of my more entertained craps.

Final score:

15points

POST

#52

on a bus to the pittsburgh airport, overheard a large black male talking on the phone about how he 'will have the $25 grand to you within the week, that way we can cut the stuff and start selling soon.' I was standing right next to him, and just stared foreword the entire time. twas odd.

bongripmctits Report

Final score:

12points

POST

Insert Generic Username 2 years ago

Was it necessary to specify that the guy was black?

11points

#53

Well, it was something someone else overheard. My friend has a big white van (keeps surfboards and stuff in) and it's always looked suspicious, so we nicknamed it the Rapemobile™.

I was on my mobile phone, chatting as normal about meeting up, when I asked, "Are you going to bring the Rapemobile™?"

Turn around, bright eyes. Three women behind me. They are upset.

Final score:

0points

POST

Insert Generic Username 2 years ago

Because rape is so funny 🙄🤬

42points

#54

I was at a movie rental place, just outside the "adults only" section. (Honest. The Sci-Fi section was next to it. ;) Ah, the days of VHS...) An... older couple was browsing the adult titles. They were both... not pretty people: overweight, teeth missing, etc.

She said to him: "Don't get that one. It has too much scenery in it. I want some action!"

mtscottcatwork Report

Final score:

-4points

POST

Insert Generic Username 2 years ago

I guess unattractive people aren't allowed to have or enjoy sex?

25points

Ieva is a writer at Bored Panda who graduated in Scandinavian studies from Vilnius University. After learning the Swedish language and getting completely lost in the world of Scandinavian mythology, she figured out that translating and writing is what she's passionate about. When not writing, Ieva enjoys making jewelry, going on hikes, reading and drinking coffee.

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As a Visual Editor at Bored Panda, I indulge in the joy of curating delightful content, from adorable pet photos to hilarious memes, all while nurturing my wanderlust and continuously seeking new adventures and interests—sometimes thrilling, sometimes daunting, but always exciting!

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What do you think ?

POST

BORKADYMUSIC 2 years ago

I have weird conversations with my friends that would be taken really weirdly out of context. And since I’m an author, I talk about killing off my characters and we get stuff like this: ME: I love her but I have to kill her. I have no choice. FRIEND: Ah I get that, I killed James the other day and I cried.

22points

Sofie Carmine 2 years ago

Oh same

4points

Tobias the Tiger 2 years ago

Ah, author conversations are often weird out of context for so many reasons. In fact, "Well, what do you know? The nudists were right!" is just one of the many bizarre lines in my story.

1point

Dee 2 years ago

I hope your friend was an author as well…

0points

Susie Elle 2 years ago

Overheard a young guy in the train saying to his friends how his niece was super hot and he'd totally bang her if she hadn't been his niece. To be honest, that's fair, but I'm still glad his friends all went silent and one of them said "Dude ... what?"

21points

Lovin' Life 2 years ago

There's so many on this post that just pissed me off. Many should have been reported to the police. Just not a good post for morning reading.

19points

Arlo_CL 2 years ago

I was in a Starbucks at a stool by the windows and I guess this pair were on a first date behind me on the sofa. They were pretty goth/punk like: all black, chains, spikes, obscure band shirts. The Convo went like this: Him: Did it hurt..? Her: Don't you dare finish that... Him: ..when Satan slapped you through the cracks of Hell!? I choked on my coffee.

13points

Summer Mason 2 years ago

🤣

1point

Leo Domitrix 2 years ago

Weirdest convo I ever heard was *me* after surgery: "Why are there little blue men with orange faces on my arm?" I heard a nurse snort-laugh really loud.... And when I cleared up, I looked at Hubby and said, "Please say you didn't record that." He didn't. FYI: It was the ink and Betadine marking the incision.

11points

Summer Mason 2 years ago (edited)

That's okay. I woke up to 6 nurses standing over me saying "no way is she 32" talking about how fit and pretty I am. Was really creeped the f**k out by that considering I just had a camera shoved down my throat to fix a hernia from acid reflux. 🙃

4points

BusLady 2 years ago

After reading this I have to keep reminding myself that 90% of men are normal, not pedos or rapists.

5points

inky Panda 2 years ago

the weirdest con i can think about right now always took place on the school bus person 1: if you are 100 pounds and eat 10 pounds of bread are you 10% bread? person 2: no you idiot you would poop it out they kept talking about this for quite some time. I have another one from the bus with the same people Girl: if someone were to rape me i would let them Boy: wouldn't that still be rape? Girl: no because i would be inviting them to have s*x with me Boy: but it would still be rape *more arguments about this topic* all of this happened in grade 7

5points

Dodo 2 years ago

If you're 90lbs and eat 10lbs of bread, you can - for a short time - be 10% bread.

6points

LynzCatastrophe 2 years ago

I've told this before. Once on a rather crowded bus, some white woman, clearly more than buzzed early afternoon, was sitting beside a black guy and going on and on about how much better (and bigger) black guys d!cks are, and how they have more stamina. He looked so uncomfortable. The entire bus did too, she wasn't quiet about this opinion at all.

4points

Yoga Kitty 2 years ago

A friend of mine said to her husband in a pub "I think we should go home know, it's late already and the baby has been alone nearly the whole day now..." Several people turned around quite briskly! Don't worry, guys, "the baby" in question is their cat. She's an old lady by now and can spend several hours napping or eating without supervision...

4points

AmanPDC 2 years ago

I was the overheard one: I once was on a Greyhound bus when a family member called me up and seriously told me they were going to kill themself. They’d been suicidal for some time. I spent the next 90 minutes talking them off the literal ledge, promising I’d be there soon, making them promise to wait for me - anything to keep them on the line. I tried to keep my voice down but still, I understand it’s disturbing stuff. 10 mins into my call the lady across the isle starts telling me “This is inappropriate. You have to get off the phone. I didn’t pay for a ticket to listen to this” and so on. I mean, I’m sorry, but AITA? I don’t think so … Long story short: Relative eventually got the right diagnosis & the right treatment and is living better than ever, more than 10 years on. I hope the lady on the bus is doing okay and found her compassion somewhere out there!

2points

Eucritta 2 years ago

Overheard at the movies: 'I can put my whole hand in my mouth.'

2points

James King 2 weeks ago

Sitting in a booth at Outback Steakhouse with my family. In the next booth are a family; two older women are right behind me. Woman 1: "Do you still have that ear infection?" Woman 2: "Yes." Woman 1: "I thought I could smell it."

0points

Shylah Harley 1 year ago

Okay but the Yoda one is just funny

0points

Thomas E S Thomas 2 years ago

I didn't like any of those.

0points

LeeBreezy 2 years ago

"and they were roommates"

0points

KarmaPeace 2 years ago

Thread has quite a few repeats

0points

Kristin Ingersoll 2 years ago

This kind of list always reminds me that I had a conversation here with an 11-year-old, and another with a 12-year-old. The fact that kids are reading this stuff may not phase you people, but it makes me really sad. Think before you post.

-2points

Memere 2 years ago

I've noticed that too, and yes, it bothers me. I have answered questions from kids here & did my best to be sensitive to their age & level of comprehension. However, kids being on here unsupervised is entirely up to the parents, it's their duty to monitor their children. And there will always be children who find ways to get online without the parents' knowledge. No one can monitor & censor the internet constantly. Oh, one other thing - the word you want in this context is 'faze', not phase.

4points

POST

BORKADYMUSIC 2 years ago

22points

Sofie Carmine 2 years ago

Oh same

4points

Tobias the Tiger 2 years ago

Ah, author conversations are often weird out of context for so many reasons. In fact, "Well, what do you know? The nudists were right!" is just one of the many bizarre lines in my story.

1point

Dee 2 years ago

I hope your friend was an author as well…

0points

Susie Elle 2 years ago

21points

Lovin' Life 2 years ago

There's so many on this post that just pissed me off. Many should have been reported to the police. Just not a good post for morning reading.

19points

Arlo_CL 2 years ago

13points

Summer Mason 2 years ago

🤣

1point

Leo Domitrix 2 years ago

11points

Summer Mason 2 years ago (edited)

4points

BusLady 2 years ago

After reading this I have to keep reminding myself that 90% of men are normal, not pedos or rapists.

5points

inky Panda 2 years ago

5points

Dodo 2 years ago

If you're 90lbs and eat 10lbs of bread, you can - for a short time - be 10% bread.

6points

LynzCatastrophe 2 years ago

4points

Yoga Kitty 2 years ago

4points

AmanPDC 2 years ago

2points

Eucritta 2 years ago

Overheard at the movies: 'I can put my whole hand in my mouth.'

2points

James King 2 weeks ago

0points

Shylah Harley 1 year ago

Okay but the Yoda one is just funny

0points

Thomas E S Thomas 2 years ago

I didn't like any of those.

0points

LeeBreezy 2 years ago

"and they were roommates"

0points

KarmaPeace 2 years ago

Thread has quite a few repeats

0points

Kristin Ingersoll 2 years ago

-2points

Memere 2 years ago

4points