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Nobody expects to peak in high school. Even if someone was prom queen, head cheerleader and student body president, they still had big dreams for what would come next. High schoolers are so young, and their ideas of what's considered cool are skewed by rampant hormones and teen angst. The "nerdiest" kids in high school can go on to become CEOs of massive corporations, and the captain of the football team can have a hard time finding his place in the world without the recognition of being a student athlete. High school is only four years, and despite how meaningful it feels at the time, it can have almost no effect on the trajectory of our lives after.

It can be fun, however, to reminisce on how cool (or shudder to think about how uncool) we all were back in the day. Earlier this year, Reddit user DeezyEast reached out to r/AskReddit and posed the question, “Spouses who married the cool girl/boy from your high school, what are they like now?” Many people responded sharing how much their spouses have changed (or stayed the same), and the answers are fascinating. Keep reading to also find our interview with DeezyEast about how this conversation was sparked in the first place.

Enjoy hearing about these relationships and thinking about how different your own life is from the days of homecoming dances, crowded lunchrooms and jammed lockers. And after reading this piece, be sure to check out these other Bored Panda articles featuring hilarious and juicy high school stories.

#1

30 People Who Got Married To The Popular Kids In School Reveal What They Are Like Now My mom was the elite Atlanta debutante and lived a very cushy life at a budding Miami country club. Beautiful and very popular at the private school. My dad grew up on a farm in Virginia. They weren't poor but they were definitely not refined.

Eventually my father's family made it down to Miami after selling the farm. He became the lifeguard at the country club pool where my mom spent days lounging about. My parents say they saw each other and that was it. The scandal was great - the debutante and the lowly lifeguard....

They just celebrated 54 years of marriage. My "lowly" lifeguard father made quite the life for my mom regardless of what all those elite twats said was going to happen. She gladly left the country club life for him and they are still so utterly in love it's crazy. He carries a photo of her at the pool where they met. The only references she makes to being "that girl" are that they proved everyone wrong.

They are beautiful and I love their story.

wadinglimpkin , unsplash Report

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We reached out to DeezyEast to see where his curiosity on this topic came from. He told Bored Panda that he’s “a cripplingly nostalgic millennial and needed to know how far the myth of the high school sweetheart had been stretched”. Fair enough. To many of us, the idea of a successful high school relationship is one of rom coms and fairy tales, not reality.

He continued, “I often wonder why we even date in high school. The popular kid aspect was added to answer another question: what’s the peaking-in-high-school afterlife?” Another valid question, considering most of us who weren’t popular in high school like to assume others peaked far before we did.

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    #2

    30 People Who Got Married To The Popular Kids In School Reveal What They Are Like Now I was the loser who married the prom queen. She came from a rich family that gave her everything she wanted. I grew up in a very poor family; we’re talking 13 people in a one-bathroom house. I thought she was kinda snobbish, but it turned out she’s the kindest person you ever met. We moved in together, and she had no concept of money. Her family didn’t like her moving in with a guy before getting married and cut her off financially. My friends warned me she’d be gone by the time the rent was due, and we couldn’t afford it.
    Instead, she got her first job (while in college full time), and we cut back on everything. She couldn’t cook to save her life, but I could, so we didn’t go hungry. Overnight, she became a normal college student. She finished college, we put her through law school, and she made good money after she graduated. She still has her prom queen streak — she likes to dress up and buy nice things — but she now goes to thrift stores and garage sales and refuses to pay full price for anything. She got very good at DIYing stuff and made us a beautiful home filled with stuff she made herself.
    I’m very happy. Friends warned me that she would take off when we went broke, that she would cheat on me (she is WAY outta my league looks-wise), and that she’s not the kind of girl to stick around long. Turns out she’s in this for life.

    DocManna , unsplash Report

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    We asked DeezyEast if he knew any successful examples of love stories that began in high school, and he responded, “I think Kendrick Lamar?” We fact checked that one: it’s true. Kendrick Lamar and his fiancé Whitney Alford have been together for over a decade, since they met in high school in Compton, California.

    He can’t think of any examples from his personal life, however. “I remember couples in high school would always say they would be together forever, but then someone would grow up and go off to college.”

    #3

    30 People Who Got Married To The Popular Kids In School Reveal What They Are Like Now My husband was the prom king and star athlete. I was a super awkward marching band nerd with severe scoliosis and a heart condition.

    He’s always been sweet, silly, smart and kind.

    Still can’t believe we’re married.

    Runawaybucket , runawaybucket Report

    #4

    30 People Who Got Married To The Popular Kids In School Reveal What They Are Like Now I hate to be the one that bursts everyone’s bubble, but my husband was the good-looking athletic guy with a great sense of humor that all of the girls adored. I was the petite blue-eyed blonde cheerleader that he chased for all four years in high school. We ended up getting together after high school graduation and were engaged 6 months later. I should have kept running from him like I did in school. He’s now an addict who is verbally and emotionally abusive. He’s a compulsive liar and he’s stolen prescription medication from me to get high. He’s very jealous and has accused me of having an affair with every male I’ve ever worked with, all without any merit whatsoever. It got so bad at one point that he told me I needed to quit my job and stay home with my son. Then he criticized me for not having a job. I teach high school English, and he is jealous of my male students because he claims he “sees the way they watch me and look at me.” He’s made my life hell. He criticizes and ridicules me for being a diabetic, saying he never intended to marry a cripple, which is hardly the case. I’m happy to say that he’ll be getting served with divorce papers very soon. God help the woman who takes my place because he can’t do anything for himself. He’s never paid a bill, made his own doctor appointments, etc. He’s exhausting. He’s also that guy who likes to tell our son what a stud he was in school and how he eventually got the girl he wanted.

    While dating, he portrayed himself to be the man he thought I would see as husband material; however, I quickly saw it was all an act shortly after we married. If I had it to do over, I would have left the country to avoid him. The only good thing to come out of our marriage is my son.

    I’m sorry that my story was the nightmare in the bunch. I’m just keeping it real.

    007mom , unsplash Report

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    We asked DeezyEast how much he has changed since his high school years, and he told us, “I don’t know if I would get along with myself in high school.” He explained that, “There was a tremendous amount of effort in being someone else rather than being myself, and I think my bank account thanks me for that realization.” It is completely understandable to feel that way; I cringe extremely hard when I think about some of the decisions I made in high school in attempts to be cool or impress others.

    #5

    30 People Who Got Married To The Popular Kids In School Reveal What They Are Like Now He was a football player and hung out with the jock crowd, and I was in the drum line. He kept his nerdy side under wraps in high school so as not to be bullied, and it's now out in the open. He ended up becoming a software developer. We still hole up and have Lord of the Rings weekends and watch the trilogy or have gaming nights. We've been married eight years. He helped me follow my dreams to become a vet and supported me through going back to school. I would 10/10 marry the hot jock with a sensitive, geeky side all over again.

    Sh0w_Me_Y0ur_Kitties , unsplash Report

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    #6

    30 People Who Got Married To The Popular Kids In School Reveal What They Are Like Now My parents were both the 'coolest' kids in school. Prom queen and prom king, and my dad was football captain. When I was a kid, my mom would pull out their high school yearbook and show me. I would be so upset because I thought that I wouldn’t be as cool or popular as they were when I was in school. But they didn’t really do anything, so I grew up poor in a trailer park.
    It wasn’t until I was in my 20s that I realized they were f*cking losers living in the past. My mom still talks about how cool my dad was in high school, and she’s almost 60. It f*cking sucks.

    [deleted] , unsplash Report

    Lastly, DeezyEast shared some words of wisdom with us about love in general. He pointed out how "contemporary conversations around love flood subreddits like r/tinder, where it’s treated more like a commodity than a companionship”. “I don’t think we have to believe in soulmates in order to have an understanding and appreciation for love," he added. "We just need to take a deep breath, and maybe put our phones down for a minute.”

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    #7

    30 People Who Got Married To The Popular Kids In School Reveal What They Are Like Now I married the homecoming queen, head cheerleader, and star basketball player. Yes, just one person.

    At 50, she's still stunning with an amazing drive. We're partners in real estate sales, and she's the engine that keeps our team successful.

    I just keep trying to not f*ck it up.

    obxtalldude , unsplash Report

    #8

    30 People Who Got Married To The Popular Kids In School Reveal What They Are Like Now My mum was the nerdy girl who got all the As and had zero social skills, and somehow managed to start dating my dad who was the popular, good-looking guy who everyone thought would peak in high school.

    She was actually advised by her family and friends that he wouldn’t give her the future she was hoping for. They got married at 19, had me when they were 20, and while they were pretty broke the first few years of my life, he paid for my mum to attend law school, started his own business and 25 years later with 3 kids, they’re still so in love and have a pretty cushy life.

    My dad actually met one of the loud voices who told my mum she was making a big mistake marrying him, and she had said how she always knew he would turn out well, which he found hilarious.

    samknowsbest8 , unsplash Report

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    #9

    30 People Who Got Married To The Popular Kids In School Reveal What They Are Like Now I started dating a popular, athletic (varsity volleyball and softball as a freshman) girl in our senior year, when I was at the peak of my weird emo phase.

    People teased her so badly she broke up with me the first week, but quickly realized she didn't give a sh*t about what others were saying and we got back together. We've been married nearly six years now, in our 30s.

    She's largely the same sarcastic, funny person I fell in love with, but more mature as you'd expect with age. Very great mother, the breadwinner and glue that holds us all together. We also have an as*hole dog now, too.

    BurnedByCrohns Report

    Now, not all of these respondents actually met their partners while they were in high school. Many of them met years later, without all of the social pressures teenagers face. But this post did make me wonder: how common is it for people to marry their high school sweetheart? According to a 2017 study, less than 2% of marriages in the US are between high school sweethearts. This is not surprising. Most 18-year-olds have a hard time deciding what to eat for dinner, let alone choosing a life partner.

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    But when relationships from high school actually do continue for years, they can produce successful marriages. High school sweethearts who tie the knot while they’re still teenagers have only a 54% chance of their marriage lasting 10 years. However, if they wait until they’re at least 25, their marriage has a 78% chance of lasting at least a decade. 

    #10

    30 People Who Got Married To The Popular Kids In School Reveal What They Are Like Now My Mom was prom queen, Dad was the hippie stoner. They had me and my sisters by the time they were 25 and have been married for 43 years. I've never heard them raise their voices to each other and they say "I love you" everytime one of them leaves the house. They showed me that a good relationship involves love, support and letting the other person be who they are.

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    #11

    30 People Who Got Married To The Popular Kids In School Reveal What They Are Like Now Ok, so my mom was very popular and from a wealthier family, youngest of 3. My dad was the youngest of 10 and his mom worked her a*s off nonstop. They met at a country club where he worked maintenance and she did something else....maybe was a waitress? Can't remember. Anyway, my dad was definitely not her type. I chuckle at old photos of him. Anyway, my mom started dating my dad because she felt bad for him, and was only going to date him for a week or 2 and then dump him (straight up told my grandmother (her mom) that). Well my dad managed to work his way into her heart in that time and she fell for him. Now here's where it gets slightly better. My dad thought he was hot sh*t after dating her for a while. Thinking he might cast his line back into the water and see what else he could get. Before he did this though, he was burned badly in a fire (was a volunteer firefighter). Badly burned.. 3rd degree burns on multiple parts of his body. Guess who was there every possible minute? My mom. She worked, went to the hospital, slept on repeat the whole time he was there. That's when he realized he had been about to be a dumba*s and make a terrible mistake. They got married, had 3 kids, a dog and a cat and lived a really great life up until she passed 9 years ago And that's the story of how a dorky looking dude got the popular girl.

    esmcguire3 Report

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    #12

    30 People Who Got Married To The Popular Kids In School Reveal What They Are Like Now I was the prom King, I was a starting athlete in many team sports. I was also ironically barely connected socially to my class and spent a lot of time gaming and eating.

    I am divorced, fat and play competitive M:TG. My ex probably doesn't give a sh*t about me being the prom King.

    BertramGuilfoyl , unsplash Report

    Falling in love for the first time is an extremely powerful feeling, and some people just cannot imagine ever giving that up. While many want to be free and explore meeting new people after school, others are satisfied and see no desire to keep searching. The New York Times even published a piece in 2016 sharing “secrets to lasting relationships” from successful couples that got together in high school, and the responses are incredibly sweet.

    One woman, who has been with her husband for nearly 70 years, shared that, “It’s not just about floating through life. You just got to understand each other and accept weaknesses even if they drive you crazy.” Her husband added that, “Marriage is a two-way street. You have to be in it together. Otherwise, it doesn’t work.”

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    #13

    I was the cool girl in high school, marrying the cool guy from a neighboring high school. Homecoming queen and cheer captain marrying mr popular prom king.

    We're incredibly boring now. No college degrees. I work 2 jobs, he cleans for the school district. But we're happy with it. We have an easy routine, pay the bills, raise two beautiful kids together. Life is good, for the most part.

    ChilhowieTourGuide Report

    #14

    30 People Who Got Married To The Popular Kids In School Reveal What They Are Like Now Found out recently (30 M) that my dad was extremely popular in highschool from my aunt. I had no idea he was an all-star football player with lots of college offers and was prom and homecoming king. Never talks about it, but he's doing well. 2 kids, a dog, and a loving wife, imo he's still winning.

    ZoatDGoat , unsplash Report

    #15

    30 People Who Got Married To The Popular Kids In School Reveal What They Are Like Now Not me but my mom married my dad who who was hot sh*t. They met in college when he was an absolute hellion. But since then he became a doctor, still a really fun dude. He’s also a licensed contractor so when he was bored he built a 6000 square foot barn in our backyard over 10 years completely on his own.

    Absolutely stand up dude.

    GravityMyGuy Report

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    A common reason people cite for not marrying their high school sweethearts is because they grew apart or changed too much over the years. This does not always have to happen, though. When one couple in the NYT piece was asked how growing up together helped their relationship, the wife responded, “We really had a special opportunity to see each other grow up and we grew together.” Her husband chimed in, “We evolve every day and that improvement can make you a better person. If you’re the same person at 15 and 28, you’re wasting your life.”

    #16

    30 People Who Got Married To The Popular Kids In School Reveal What They Are Like Now Not sure if he was necessarily cool but my dad was prefect and head boy of his school, got along nicely with everyone and was responsible. They didn’t have prom there so that was the highest honour you could probably get. Worked hard and all and had his classmates help to tutor him.

    His grades didn’t end up great because he came in late to school once and got after school detentions. He would go home late and finish homework overnight, then get up at the crack of dawn to wash his father’s bus and be late to school again (more detentions). He dropped out and transferred to another school.

    Now he’s a retired policeman who is working in security to send me and my siblings to school, does his best still. In my mom’s view he’s still handsome and she calls him a multitude of cutesy nicknames that he pretends to hate. Life is always as tough as normal but he keeps going.

    saor-alba-gu-brath Report

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    #17

    30 People Who Got Married To The Popular Kids In School Reveal What They Are Like Now I sat next to the popular guy every day for five years, and I was so afraid of speaking to him. I watched him and his friends chasing each other around and throwing their shoes at each other. Typical school sh*t. They were rowdy and loud and intimidating, but he was the quiet yet seriously funny one. I crushed on him HARD for years. He remembers me as the little blonde girl who didn’t speak to anyone (because I was so anxious all the time). He also protected his sister from some as*holes every break time, and she’d come to find him for safety from bullies.
    I should have spoken to him sooner than when school finished, because we have the same music taste, and we get on well enough now at 26. We have a 6-month-old daughter together and my daughter from a previous relationship. We just got engaged last weekend. I adore him; he’s handsome, charming, and funny, and I would do anything for this man, as he would for me.

    [deleted] , unsplash Report

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    #18

    30 People Who Got Married To The Popular Kids In School Reveal What They Are Like Now I had 2 kids with a former prom king. Hes a cr*ckhead now.

    Mother-Host218 , pexels Report

    Although they are certainly the exception rather than the norm, successful high school sweetheart relationships are inspiring to hear about. When asked about the difficult parts of her relationship, one woman said it was confusing at times when she was younger. “I was surrounded by so many long-distance couples in college who were breaking up,” she said. “But I quickly realized that my relationship was different than other people’s, and I really learned to appreciate ours. Josh is so genuine. There’s something so real about him that I know I couldn’t find in anybody else.”

    #19

    30 People Who Got Married To The Popular Kids In School Reveal What They Are Like Now Didn’t marry her but we dated for a bit. She moved to Arizona for college, stayed there then became a fire fighter. Came out as gay and married a woman. We lost touch but she seems happy.

    kaspm , unsplash Report

    #20

    I married the valedictorian/prom queen of my high school. The woman has excellent taste in everything but men, it seems. We’re coming up on 25 years of marriage next year with two fantastic kids. She’s a highly educated, continually advancing executive at her company. Career woman, stellar mother, and the best of partners. This ol’ boy got lucky in life and in love.

    cast_your_fate Report

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    #21

    30 People Who Got Married To The Popular Kids In School Reveal What They Are Like Now My friend married a high school running back who led the league in rushing. He was actually pretty good, his record is unbroken to this day. He hangs out with his same high school friends drinking beer in the alley every day and now sells propane and propane accessories.

    ChzaBear , unsplash Report

    For the vast majority of people, the person they were in high school is a distant memory. Maybe it feels like that was a completely different person. Technically, our brains do take until we’re at least 25 to fully develop, so we can blame our questionable teenage fashion choices on that… But in terms of relationships, it can be extremely hard to navigate love with another person while simultaneously figuring out your own identity. After high school, life experiences in the “real world” can cause many people to have new perspectives and alter their beliefs. Religious affiliations, political associations, views on marriage and more can shift through going to university, starting a career, or simply gaining life experiences.

    #22

    i'm the opposite of this question... i totally peaked in high school. was cheerleading captain, valedictorian, prom queen. super involved and outgoing.

    now i'm fat and very unnoticeable, not pretty and maybe not ugly just bland, and incredibly shy and reserved. don't really have many/any friends. but married my high school sweetheart, who was quiet and mostly flew under the radar- and now he is outgoing, successful, and more and more handsome by the year.

    hakuna__frittata Report

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    #23

    30 People Who Got Married To The Popular Kids In School Reveal What They Are Like Now As it turned out, I married one of the mean girls, didn't go to her school, didn't find out she was considered that til after the divorce. That's how it turned out.

    Then I dated one of the cool chicks. Did go to her school, did know she was considered that. And she was the most amazing human being I've ever known. That one didn't work out either.

    Now I'm just retired from relationships for a bit, strike 3 would kill me right now

    Thanks all. This was very therapeutic. I have friends and family that are awesome. Hopefully I'll have more Someday. For now it's me and my kids I'm focusing on.

    read110 , pexels Report

    #24

    30 People Who Got Married To The Popular Kids In School Reveal What They Are Like Now My sister married the prom king/starting runningback from her high school. He got fat, but also is a nice dude who makes a killing running some kind of raw materials company. Doesn't talk about the past at all.

    [deleted] , unsplash Report

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    One on hand, however, dating can help adolescents figure out who they are. Developmental psychologist Erik Erikson actually viewed crushes and relationships among young people as instrumental in helping them develop self-understanding and their identities. While many people consider teenage love “puppy love”, Erikson thought of it more as a form of self-development instead of true intimacy. When dating, adolescents get to “try-on” adult roles which can help them clarify their self-image. All of the discussing emotions and experimenting with affection teenagers get to do in relationships can be character development, even if the relationship itself is short-lived. 

    #25

    I married the cool, outgoing, outdoorsy, sporty high school jock. Turns out he’s secretly as geeky and introverted as I am. He’s still the same person 25 years later.

    fattyfattybomstix69 Report

    #26

    30 People Who Got Married To The Popular Kids In School Reveal What They Are Like Now My highschool friend was the "cool-guy".

    Everyone liked him, guys and girls. He never got into fights, was always instantly invited everywhere and girls totally swooned over him.

    He's still the same awesome dude. Hasn't changed a bit.

    He married an incredibly hot nurse.

    1nsaneMfB , unsplash Report

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    #27

    30 People Who Got Married To The Popular Kids In School Reveal What They Are Like Now My dad was crazy popular. Prom king, salutatorian, running back, serious ladies man. He met my mom in a nursing class in college which he took to meet girls (lecture course and he was the only guy in a sea of women- this was the 70s)

    They married, he became a car sales man, developed a terrible drug habit and died of a heart attack at 52.

    mudsharkjr , unsplash Report

    Life doesn’t care if you were prom king or captain of the mathletes in high school, what happens after can be a rollercoaster of surprises for us all. While those four years do not determine what happens later, it can still be amusing to find out what everyone from your graduating class is up to now. So if you have a high school reunion coming up, why not check out what everyone else is up to? It’s only natural to be curious if any of your classmates peaked in high school. And if you were at the bottom of the food chain as a teenager, don’t be afraid to show everyone how well you’re doing now.

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    #28

    We didn’t go to school together but I married the Captain of the Cheerleading team. She’s a very down to earth, good human being who never been one to be elitist or a snob in any way. She does wish she still had her high school body (who doesn’t) but she looks more beautiful to me now than she does in any old pictures. We have a large family and are very happy

    Every once in a while I’ll be acting goofy with my kids and they’re friends will give me the side eye and I’ll casually drop “you think I’m a nerd huh?...well maybe so but I married the Captain of the Cheerleaders” - for some reason this gets me instant credibility with young men

    cridicus Report

    #29

    My mom was the cool girl all through high school, undergrad, grad school. But life didn't go that well. For most of her life, she had to be caring for someone in the family who was ill, and that took a huge toll on her. First it was her dad, then it was me (I had childhood illnesses), then her inlaws in quick succession, then her dad again, and finally she had to nurse my dad until he passed away from a terminal illness. She was meant to be social and have fun, and instead she was forced to be around sickness and sadness for her best years.

    But she is a very happy and mentally strong person in general who made the best of things. She hosted a lot of people and events. My house growing up was full of people visiting and having fun. She's very charming and easy to talk to, and has a lot of fans all the time.

    Though, my siblings and I find her social side rather annoying. She isn't like that with us, and she tells us her charming side is just an act, and the real her is the lady who is constantly critical of us "for our own good". She likes having groupies hanging around, people who are happy to take her help and be grateful to her. She has very few friends who could be considered her equals.

    She also expects a lot from other people and is constantly disappointed. She wants to be the center of everything. She doesn't know to be a guest at anything, she somehow ends up running every event she's invited to. She sincerely believes she's helping, but it's just disrespectful sometimes and when we tell her that, she doesn't get it. She likes to dominate everything and make decisions for everyone. We joke that if the prime minister was her friend, she'd somehow end up running the country for him.

    sensitiveinfomax Report

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    #30

    Wife was the prom queen, state champion athlete, and generally loved by everyone she knew. Dated her popularity equivalent and struggled through its toxicity. With the help of a bunch of champagne and a shirt with a cat on it, I swooped in. Now every day I get to hear about how I'm punching above my weight class or out kicking the coverage or whatever metaphor (by coworkers). But she's just the absolute best person ever, complete smokeshow inside and out. Her best friend went to the rival school and was the same type of person... 10+ years later, they are still just the best humans. Kinda cool to see, as the popular kids from my grade were pretty sh*tty.

    THEhot_pocket Report

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