I hope you don't mind him losing his fertility to a totally preventable case of the mumps, and having no biological grandchildren?

Lol, this one should be number one for the massive cringe value.

He swore to God. Imagine 'god' profile also replying: Stop using me for your lies, Mike.

Even all 29 digits

The world record just has been broken by youuu 😱

What I read here is "I fantasized about committing assault on strangers to to promote my snake oil"

And then he woke up.

It may be "incredibly easy" according to this tweeter, but I'm pretty impressed by anyone who can accidentally swallow an entire mask by accident.

Ratsack and Draino in the meth again

'Speilberg' loves extraordinary fantasy.

wanna bet she has the location function on her phone on?

Decided to turn lesbian, it's not like deciding to wear jeans instead of shorts today lol.

And now, I imagine the person who wrote this being told that a woman can have children without having to put up with a dirtbag husband, like some lesbians do. I can see the light going off in her head, and the crying on the floor...

Right wing male fan fiction.

Is it mandatory to become a lesbian in order to skip the kids? Asking for a friend, it is too late for me

Hmm, what inborn trait shall I decide to pretend to be this week? How about a pathological liar?

Wow, flawless logic. You can still have kids if you're a lesbian??????

All the lesbians I know have kids.

My wife and I decided to not have children, does that make both of us or just her a lesbian?

Is that how it works? Maybe I'll try being a lesbian for a few days just to see how it suits me.

As a lesbian, I seriously wonder what kind of cereal they have in their skulls

yep she hit the gay button and was magically attracted to women

Oh dear lord

Why do idiots still not understand that we are born with our sexuality and their is no choice, there’s no way anyone got a choice

The adoption center punching the air rn

I think a light should go on in YOUR head Lesbianism is not a daily decision - get educated idiot!

Thank the good lord, Jesus, and that white bird that’s always swirling around them - she saved her from a life of being who she is!

Oh so she wasn't actually a lesbian, just like this story didn't actually happen.

Homophobic idiot

Gee, I'm have to tell my lesbian friends who have children, that they need to give them up for adoption, even though the children were wanted and the woman gave birth to them - sorry honey, lesbians can't have children or be moms.

Being 50 and not having kids is not necessarily a bad thing.

I don't think that's how that works...?

I'm the 7th out of 8 children of a lesbian mother 🤷🏼‍♀️

One does not consciously turn into a Lesbian..or off either.

Wow! Clearly does not understand that you can be lesbian and have children..

I did not "turn" pansexual, I did not decide to be who I am, and bitch you better damn well believe I ain't having kids. I can assure you I will be MUCH happier at 50 and rich than 50 and miserable with a ruined body, bank, and social life.

semen is easy to come by, no sex needed

HAHAHAHAHA

I'm at a loss of words for this level of ignorance.

Yea. Sure.

Likely responses to "do you really wanna be 50 and not have kids?": "yes", or "this is the 21st century, there are plenty of ways to become a parent that don't require sex with a man".

I'm 50 and I don't have kids, so I must be a lesbian! Do I need to sign up to anything or just wake up lesbian tomorrow?

There's so much going on in that tweet that for a second I legit forgot you can only get pregnant when you're married to a cis man, silly me.

My lesbian friends have kids, no they didn't have actual sex with men