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I'm fine. What are you talking about, you do not look fat in those jeans. I'll give you a call.

We lie all the time. And we get away with it quite often, too. But some folks push their made-up narrative so far, it's hard to imagine anyone actually believing them.

So they end up on the subreddit r/thatHappened. Its members share evidence of "people telling outrageous tall tales that would make Walter Mitty proud" and they have compiled quite the archive since the creation of this online community in 2012.

Here are some of its best gems.

#1

From Cursed Comments

From Cursed Comments

ya_boi01 , deborahhowarth9 Report

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Otter
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I hope you don't mind him losing his fertility to a totally preventable case of the mumps, and having no biological grandchildren?

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#2

Jesus Christ. What An Idiot

Jesus Christ. What An Idiot

or_gasm Report

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KJ
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Lol, this one should be number one for the massive cringe value.

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Sometimes people lie just to inflate their image—some think this motivation is the reason behind President Donald Trump's demonstrably false statement that his Inauguration crowd was bigger than President Barack Obama's first one. But people also lie to cover up bad behavior, as American swimmer Ryan Lochte did during the 2016 Summer Olympics by claiming to have been robbed at gunpoint at a gas station when, in fact, he and his teammates, drunk after a party, had been confronted by armed security guards after damaging property.

We can find similar examples even in fields that are dedicated to the search for eternal truth. And one doesn't have to look far, either. Take the physicist Jan Hendrik Schön, for example, whose purported breakthroughs in molecular semiconductor research proved to be fraudulent.

#3

Imagine Getting Called Out Like That, By Harry Styles Himself

Imagine Getting Called Out Like That, By Harry Styles Himself

Harry_Styles Report

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Serial pacifist
Community Member
3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He swore to God. Imagine 'god' profile also replying: Stop using me for your lies, Mike.

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#5

Running A 5k In 10 Minutes

Running A 5k In 10 Minutes

itsharryngl Report

Lying is something many of us are very good at. We do it while interacting with strangers, co-workers, friends, and loved ones. Turns out, our capacity for dishonesty is as fundamental to us as our need to trust others, which ironically makes us terrible at detecting lies. Being deceitful is woven into us, so much so that it would be truthful to say that to lie is human.

The ubiquity of lying was first documented systematically two decades ago by Bella DePaulo, a social psychologist at the University of California, Santa Barbara. DePaulo and her colleagues asked 147 adults to jot down for a week every instance they tried to mislead someone. The researchers discovered that the subjects lied on average one or two times a day. Most of these untruths were innocuous, intended to hide one's inadequacies or to protect the feelings of others. Some lies were excuses (one subject blamed the failure to take out the garbage on not knowing where it needed to go). Yet other lies, such as a claim of being a diplomat's son, were aimed at presenting a false image. While these were minor transgressions, a later study by DePaulo and other colleagues involving a similar sample indicated that most people have, at some point, told one or more "serious lies", like hiding an affair from a spouse, or making false claims on a college application.

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#6

How Does She Expect Anyone To Believe Her? My Mother Sent Me This From Our Neighborhood Facebook Group

How Does She Expect Anyone To Believe Her? My Mother Sent Me This From Our Neighborhood Facebook Group

rslashseanyboi Report

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Samantha Lomb
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What I read here is "I fantasized about committing assault on strangers to to promote my snake oil"

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#8

And Then The Coronavirus Clapped

And Then The Coronavirus Clapped

flopsychops Report

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Something
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It may be "incredibly easy" according to this tweeter, but I'm pretty impressed by anyone who can accidentally swallow an entire mask by accident.

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Researchers suggest that lying as a behavior arose pretty soon after the emergence of language. The ability to manipulate others without using physical force likely conferred an advantage in the competition for resources and mates, akin to the evolution of deceptive strategies in the animal kingdom, such as camouflage.

"Lying is so easy compared to other ways of gaining power," Sissela Bok, an ethicist at Harvard University who's one of the most prominent thinkers on the subject, told Nat Geo. "It's much easier to lie in order to get somebody's money or wealth than to hit them over the head or rob a bank.

"Experts are learning that we're prone to believe some lies even when they're easily contradicted by clear evidence. These insights suggest that our proclivity for deceiving others, and our vulnerability to being deceived, are especially consequential in the age of social media.

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So in the case of r/ThatHappened, it's nice to see that we can still retain our ability to distinguish truth from fiction.

#10

Lady Who Lives In Massive Fantasy Land Goes To Disneyland

Lady Who Lives In Massive Fantasy Land Goes To Disneyland

whachoomean Report

#11

Woman Finds Microchip In Her Son’s Mask!?

Woman Finds Microchip In Her Son’s Mask!?

IHaveNeverEatenACat Report

#12

Of All The Things That Didn't Happen, This Didn't Happen The Most

Of All The Things That Didn't Happen, This Didn't Happen The Most

mojey6068 Report

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KJ
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Decided to turn lesbian, it's not like deciding to wear jeans instead of shorts today lol.

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#13

Mhmm, Yeah Sure It Was

Mhmm, Yeah Sure It Was

Mc-MeepMeep Report

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Cecily Holland
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This one really annoys me! These self entitled, self absorbed mental midgets really think they have it that bad. It’s disrespectful and disgusting

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#14

This 2-Year-Old Must Have A Degree Already

This 2-Year-Old Must Have A Degree Already

Chakwenta Report

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Otter
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My sympathies to that child, s/he's going to grow up having their needs ignored, because mum needs them to make her feel better about her life.

ThatOneWriter
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I grew up with a mom like this and you are 100% correct. That child is going to be mom's emotional support person which is going to royally screw them up.

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Got Myself 4 Dwarves
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When my kids were two they'd wake me up by sitting on my head or poking my eyes. But yeah cool, two year olds are always making meals....I mean, when my oldest was about 5 she made me breakfast in bed for Mother's Day.....well she threw a packet of crisps at me from the doorway - that counts? Right?

Alex K
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

when my son was 2 years old we had to teach him to avoid walls

Vicky Z
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If there were no walls on the way to the kitchen i think it's very realistic that the kid cooked

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H Edwards
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Two year old made breakfast unsupervised and brought it to mummy in bed before she even woke up. I'm assuming this person actually does have a two year old child, so how does she look at this child and think 'yeah, I'm going to say my child did/said this thing, and it's going to sound completely plausible'?

GoddessOdd
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My two year olds woke me up on Mothers Day with a freshly prepared omelet and mimosas, and then one played violin while the other danced a new interpretive dance she'd just choreographed that morning. Afterwards, they presented me with an oil painting they'd been working on to surprise me , and then drove me to the Planetarium to see their new light show.

Lolly
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My 2 year old gave me snails for mothers day............. Best present ever

Tinykame
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Damn when my oldest was 4 he ate a flipping light bulb. Someone give this kid an honorary doctorate

Tinykame
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And when my youngest was 4 he thought Campbell's soup was made of people. I'm looking to trade in two very disappointing children. Didnt know I could expect them to feed me at 2. They are teens now and I still don't get breakfast in bed.

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Cecily Holland
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Most 2 year olds can only squeal, pick their nose and can’t string a sentence together

Kathryn Baylis
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Two year old, huh? Sure he didn’t make poop art on the living room walls instead?

Jerry Lane
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You have a 2 year old cooking with flames and sharp knives without supervision, who also talks with the sensitivity of a good girlfriend? Lady, do you even have a friend much less a child?

Lynne Harbison
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Aged 3, my daughter brought me breakfast in bed. Because she wasnt allowed near electrical appliances, it was a mug of cold tap water with a teabag floating, and a slice of plain bread. She sat on the bed to watch me enjoy my "breakfast".

Shay
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No wonder baby daddy left. She's a lunatic!

Brian Bennett
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A two year old would say "it doesn't make you less of a woman"" ? Now tell me she reads dictionary's as a hobby!

Allen Lavine
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Y'all never seen that new show coming to a&e baby chefs 2-4 year olds

Ember
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ha ha ha....I’d love to meet the 2 year old who can articulate in full sentences like this

m j m
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My 2 year old once did make me a meal....... a mustard sandwich ......I had to choke it down while smiling and saying how good it was

v
Community Member
3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You've a 2 year old speaking and thinking at the level of a reasonably well educated 20something and you're wasting their life and yours bragging about it on social media?

Lorrie Rothstein
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What 2 year old goes near the oven? What 2 year old understands daddy left and mom is not less of a woman?

Unnamed Hooman
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have an almost 2 year old sister who doesn’t even speak full sentences

Raven DeathShade
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Fascinating! My 2-year-old brother made dinner with me (and tasted it, declaring it "nummy food"), but it was under a TON of supervision and I was holding his hand while he put ingredients into it. It was chicken corn chowder. A dish with a long history of being cooked with 2-year-olds.

Xottel
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Usually 2-years-old wake you with suspicious silence and some uniqe sort of stain on the carpet. Also, why are there 2 pounds of dry noodles in the dishwasher?

Carol Emory
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Because 2 year old children can reach a stove and/or have the wherewithal to speak full and grammatically correct sentences.

Jonathan MacFarlane
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My child said, "Toggle Properties subsection Natural occurrence Synthesis Toggle Synthesis subsection Applications Toggle Applications subsection Other forms of boron nitride Toggle Other forms of boron nitride subsection Health issues See also Notes References External links Boron nitride Article Talk Read Edit View history Tools This is a good article. Click here for more information. From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia Boron nitride Magnified sample of crystalline hexagonal boron nitride Names IUPAC name Boron nitride Identifiers CAS Number 10043-11-5 check 3D model (JSmol) Interactive image ChEBI CHEBI:50883 check ChemSpider 59612 check ECHA InfoCard100.030.111 Edit this at Wikidata EC Number 233-136-6 Gmelin Reference216 MeSHElbor PubChem CID 66227 RTECS number ED7800000 UNII 2U4T60A6YD ☒ CompTox Dashboard (EPA) DTXSID5051498 Edit this at Wikidata InChI SMILES Properties Chemical formulaBN Molar mass24.82 g/mol AppearanceColorless crystals Density2.1 g/cm3"

Kim Armand Nielsen
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A two year old have no perspective of time and day, hence not specific dates. Two year olds dont even expect christmas :-|

WalkingSky️
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

2 year old: speech about life 2 year old: makes breakfast Idk how Mother: OmG tHATs sO KeWl Me: fake

Olof T
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"Mother dearest, your efforts in parenting are spotless and I require not a father. I made for thee coffee and freshly baked scones this fine morning." - Joe, 2 years old.

Lee MacKenzie
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wow- what an amazingly verbal 2 year old. And wow, what a load of crap .

Mayrene Chester
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

a 2-year old said "make you less of a woman" never mind the fact that he made breakfast....

Loraine MacGinness
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No way can you expect anyone to believe this tale ? What a dreadful mother, Your daughter will be leaving you soon too !!

Celtic Pirate Queen
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Riiiiight - a TWO YEAR OLD made you breakfast in bed? Okay - full stop, because the rest is just such complete bullsh*t, I can't believe you had the nerve to post it. Do you honestly believe people think your TWO YEAR OLD did/said this. You are an absolute moron who had no business breeding.

LSR
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Looking already for the next mangina who will support that f*****g runt produced by the former father, lol

Roz Klaiman
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

2 years old, huh? Amazing little genius, speaks in adult sentences.

David Gripon
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Or smeared a banana on her face and asked if he could watch Bob The Builder. Same thing really.

Piglet
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The only breakfast a two year old could make would be using Play Doh.

Ola Pe
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

By the way this kid acts and speaks at 2 I’m guessing it’s imaginary. Good for them.

Lovin' Life
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Either this lady is delusional or the mother of "Young Sheldon".

Afton Kleinsorge
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Bro what kind of two year old can speak in full sentences and talks like a fourty year old tho

Norah Reilly
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Just so wrong on so many levels, and it will be for so very long.

Tristan J
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I wouldn't be surprised if this woman doesn't even have a kid, but my 2 year old found a dead butterfly and said 'aww that's said, let's put him in the plants and he can be happy', so let's not underestimate the emotional intelligence of toddlers.

Nikki Sevven
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No 2yo would ever think of such a thing, never mind articulate it in that way.

SheHulk
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My two old woke me up at 6am by shoving anyting avaialble into my mouth! Gum, dummies, toys. dead bugs! This all happened.

Bill Karp
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

then you saw the kitchen and kid said clean up aisle you, woman ! (j/k)

Chad Thurlow
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm sorry you feel like such a failure but you don't need to act the part.

Steph
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If I had a two year old child I wouldn't lay in bed and have it unwatched in the kitchen. Please have authorities check on this child's safety

Nicole Blomkamp
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Aha! One of those self- programable robotic dolls! Good investment.

Mel
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

2 year olds don't talk like that! lol They would say, I'm hungry! When daddy coming home? I wuv you mommy.

Shelli Aderman
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

🤣 It was probably a handful of half eaten Cheerios, and a “Ah wuf you” 😉

Kitty Jordan
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Even within this fantasy... a 2-year-old made breakfast by herself/himself? Wow.

Jonah Denny-Mayo
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I just don't understand it. This is the most trashy thing to lie about and it's not even realistic. My condolences to the kid because she's probably going to have to take care of her mother growing up.

Jo Choto
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes, all of us that ever had a 2 year old know this is totally legit...

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#15

Everyone’s Worst Nightmare

Everyone’s Worst Nightmare

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#16

Oh Yeah. For Sure

Oh Yeah. For Sure

griffonbrioche Report

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Falcon dimi
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

but on the other hand she is probably still paying the hospital bills for the delivery of het son.

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#17

Brags To All Their Friends For Saving Their Life With Essential Oils

Brags To All Their Friends For Saving Their Life With Essential Oils

theacondaa Report

#18

Discord Users Are A Different Breed

Discord Users Are A Different Breed

reddit.com Report

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Lauren Caswell
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Because we all know when the universe began, the big bang and all that, monkeys were already well established 🤦‍♀️ not even apes, he said monkeys. Zero effort

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#21

While These Children Weren’t Oxygen Starved, The Poster Was At Birth

While These Children Weren’t Oxygen Starved, The Poster Was At Birth

DavidThorne31 Report

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KJ
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Weird how some folks wear one for a full shift and are fine, they must be ghosts or something I guess.

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#22

Found This On A “People Who Think Liking Harry Potter Is A Personality Trait” Fb Page

Found This On A “People Who Think Liking Harry Potter Is A Personality Trait” Fb Page

reddit.com Report

#23

And Then Ben Franklin’s Image Clapped

And Then Ben Franklin’s Image Clapped

reddit.com Report

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#24

Well, That Saved Me A Goog!

Well, That Saved Me A Goog!

budingerzdfdsgdsg Report

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Otter
Community Member
3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I can believe that someone in a bar actually said that, after a beer or twelve.

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#25

I Won't Remember Posting This

I Won't Remember Posting This

RIPbyEugenics Report

#27

Hate When People Underestimate The Condoms I Use In A Night Smh

Hate When People Underestimate The Condoms I Use In A Night Smh

Dumdemiboy Report

#28

This Has To Be A Joke, Right?

This Has To Be A Joke, Right?

God_sent_me_nudes Report

#29

Anti Vaxxers Are A Gold Mine

Anti Vaxxers Are A Gold Mine

Vonnybon Report

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Samantha Lomb
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm positive this is the same person who would be convinced dihydrogen monoxide is super toxic too.

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#30

Then The Toys Clapped

Then The Toys Clapped

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Serial pacifist
Community Member
3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And then he cited Marx and refuted his argument with Hegel's counterargument!

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#32

Highly Doubt It

Highly Doubt It

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Ceph Alopod
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Out of all the things so far this one seems slightly plausible just due to sense of humor

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#34

She Also Happens To Be A Wannabe Travel/Wellness Influencer

She Also Happens To Be A Wannabe Travel/Wellness Influencer

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FromageFeet
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Because it wouldn’t be weird for a stranger to take pictures of you alone in a bikini without you being aware….not at all.

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#35

Sorry, What The Hell Did I Just Read?

Sorry, What The Hell Did I Just Read?

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Otter
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So... what? This guy wrote the story because he thinks that using frozen chicken parts is somehow more humane than killing chickens onsite? How does THAT make sense?

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#36

Cos A Dentist Has Enough Time To Watch An Entire Film Instead Of Working

Cos A Dentist Has Enough Time To Watch An Entire Film Instead Of Working

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Andy Acceber
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I wish this one was true. I'd love a lunch break where you just sit and watch full-length movies in your waiting room.

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#37

I’m Sure They Jumped Another $15 An Hour For No Reason

I’m Sure They Jumped Another $15 An Hour For No Reason

gracieannabelle Report

#39

Another Clueless Nitwit Who Thinks They're Smarter Than The Teacher

Another Clueless Nitwit Who Thinks They're Smarter Than The Teacher

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#41

Of Course They Said That

Of Course They Said That

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BananaJo
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Horrible histories taught me more than my history classes, I've been watching it since I was 6 and still watch it now w/ my little sister. Just wanted to share

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#42

“Lone Wolf” Beats Up 6 People

“Lone Wolf” Beats Up 6 People

LeQuackz1234 Report

#45

Even Some Of The Commenters Are Feeling Sus

Even Some Of The Commenters Are Feeling Sus

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Otter
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If you make $54 an hour, you can damn well afford something healthier for the family.

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#46

A Bunch Of People On The Comments Said That They Had Done Something Similar. Is This A Common Thing?

A Bunch Of People On The Comments Said That They Had Done Something Similar. Is This A Common Thing?

IbukisGuitar Report

#47

Woman Convinces Everyone At CVS To Take Off Their Masks - No Really This Happened I Was The One Clapping

Woman Convinces Everyone At CVS To Take Off Their Masks - No Really This Happened I Was The One Clapping

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#48

No One Liked That

No One Liked That

TheOwlsLie Report

#49

I Don’t Think So

I Don’t Think So

Midget_LlamaYT Report

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Chiuki
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

*cop arrests himself and apologizes* - clearly this dude's never dealt with cops. 500 of them would show up and ventilate you while shouting "stop resisting!"

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#50

Very Likely Story

Very Likely Story

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Chiuki
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

*calls uber* "I'm hiding behind the laundry truck - some guys are trying to hurt me"

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#52

Mlm Huns Need To Come Up With Better Lies

Mlm Huns Need To Come Up With Better Lies

Srosenbz Report

#54

The Waiter Literally Cried

The Waiter Literally Cried

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#55

Did The Whole Cafeteria Clap As Well?

Did The Whole Cafeteria Clap As Well?

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#56

Real Gamer Girl

Real Gamer Girl

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#57

Maybe Believe If He Wasn't Complete Vermin

Maybe Believe If He Wasn't Complete Vermin

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#58

I’m Literally Non-Binary And Have Never Felt Like I Was Misgendering A Fckn Chess Piece

I’m Literally Non-Binary And Have Never Felt Like I Was Misgendering A Fckn Chess Piece

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Ray Martin
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In a game of chess there are an estimated 1,327 named openings and variants. If each of those opening gambits created an alternate timeline, in precisely none of them would this story be true.

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#59

And Then People Around The Neighborhood Clapped

And Then People Around The Neighborhood Clapped

ClownInYoDreams Report

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Something
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

But how will she inject essential oils to cure the doll's almond allergy? /s

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#60

Of Course It Did Deer

Of Course It Did Deer

That-Guy-J Report

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Arctic Fox Lover
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She's like "OHHH I'm so happy to be grabbing my phone that's in the bathroom for some reason that is also oh-so conveniently propped up against something with the camera app on!! Wait, whoa, hold on, did it just take this really well-lit picture of me while I was reaching in to grab it??? :0"

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#61

Kids Think He’s Walt Disney And He Can’t Bear To Tell Them Otherwise

Kids Think He’s Walt Disney And He Can’t Bear To Tell Them Otherwise

PeterParker72 Report

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troufaki13
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm pretty sure these children don't even know Walt Disney was a real person

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#62

"Accidentally Gave Myself The Vaccine" Via Twitter! Riiiiight

"Accidentally Gave Myself The Vaccine" Via Twitter! Riiiiight

galactiicpup Report

#63

Sure Thing Bruh Bruh

Sure Thing Bruh Bruh

notmypretzeldent Report

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Andy Acceber
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I could see this happening. I'd certainly be tempted to do that as an employee. (Though I also don't put up with nonsense and send line jumpers to the back.)

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#64

Yes I’m Sure That’s Why You Uploaded It

Yes I’m Sure That’s Why You Uploaded It

cas2ie Report

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Penelope
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Are the hashtags on this one supposed to be edgy and funny? Because they’re not.

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#65

A Kindergartner Can Definitely Say That

A Kindergartner Can Definitely Say That

CAUSTIC101 Report

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3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"How do countries come to go to war?" the little boy inquired, looking up from his book. "For various reasons," explained the father. "Now, there was Germany and Russia. They went to war because the Russians mobilized." "Not at all, my dear," the wife interrupted. "It was because the Austrians—" "Tut, tut, my love!" the husband remonstrated. "Don't you suppose I know?" "Certainly not—you are all wrong. It was because—" "Mrs. Perkins, I tell you it was because—" "Benjamin, you ought to know better, you have boggled—" "Your opinion, madam, has not been requested in this matter." "Shut up! I won't have my child mistaught by an ignoramus." "Don't you dare, you impudent—" "And don't you dare bristle at me, or I'll—" "Oh, never mind!" the little boy intervened. "I think I know now how wars begin."

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#66

I'm Sure Ya Did Buddy

I'm Sure Ya Did Buddy

Available_Cup_9588 Report

#67

Found This On Some Investment Entrepreneur Instagram Account

Found This On Some Investment Entrepreneur Instagram Account

TheCommunist_Scholar Report

#68

Docs Know You Are Educated

Docs Know You Are Educated

djteotancolis Report

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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

They probably do just look at them like 😳, but for other reasons.

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#69

Youtube Comments Are A Goldmine

Youtube Comments Are A Goldmine

emrednz07 Report

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Chiuki
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I sensed the presence of a dark web hacker, moving through my meme collection, but I warned him exactly where the porn was located which caused him to flee with fright. 🤨

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#71

Gay Shakespeare

Gay Shakespeare

Laprasnomore Report

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Andy Acceber
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There's gay fiction. When I was a teen, I had literally read ALL LGBTQ fiction in my local library. Times have changed. There are now more options out there than any one person could possibly read. Ask your local librarian or a google a reading list for suggestions. (Or, legit, ask me here. Be as specific as you want. I've probably read one I can recommend for your interest.)

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#72

Posted By A “Influencer” Do People Honestly Believe This S**t?

Posted By A “Influencer” Do People Honestly Believe This S**t?

reddit.com Report

#73

No Such Thing As Conflict Of Interest!

No Such Thing As Conflict Of Interest!

madcre Report

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Chiuki
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If your lawyer posts on social media that they're about to gang up with you against your soon-to-be-ex to "rip him off", you might have a better case. And you might want to consider finding a lawyer that actually passed the bar and knows the law. Just a suggestion.

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#74

And Everyoone Started Cheering

And Everyoone Started Cheering

wdymyname Report

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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Of course none of them had their hearts broken. That never heals, so they'd be dead.

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#75

S**t Break Snacks In Fantasyland

S**t Break Snacks In Fantasyland

snarkicon Report

#76

Wise Worlds From A Wise 7 Year Old

Wise Worlds From A Wise 7 Year Old

laseurdenuit Report

#77

Freestyle Rapping During An Interview... Hmm!

Freestyle Rapping During An Interview... Hmm!

ImbibingandVibing Report

#78

Target Will Miss Them

Target Will Miss Them

uhm_i_dont_know Report

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Helen Haley
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This doesn't happen. What actually happens is antimaskers throwing themselves onto the floor in a fit like a toddler.

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#79

You Can't Take Crack Orally And It Doesn't Prevent You From Blinking

You Can't Take Crack Orally And It Doesn't Prevent You From Blinking

RedditSmokesCrack Report

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Chiuki
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

People will take random pills from random people, but we're struggling to get people to get vaccinated? What the actual hell?

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#81

It's True Guys, I Was The Sign!

It's True Guys, I Was The Sign!

Fanfic_Galore Report

#82

A Mom Walking Up To A Stranger Toddler At A Playground To Call The Toddler Out As A Poser About Their Favorite Band

A Mom Walking Up To A Stranger Toddler At A Playground To Call The Toddler Out As A Poser About Their Favorite Band

TheeOxygene Report

#83

Yeaaa Okay. I’m Not Too Sure About This

Yeaaa Okay. I’m Not Too Sure About This

ImbibingandVibing Report

#84

Because That's Totally Something They Can Do

Because That's Totally Something They Can Do

smokefan4000 Report

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Andy Acceber
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah, that's not a thing. Some of us white people just want to be oppressed so badly. *facepalm*

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#85

“Accidentally” Accessed The Dark Web

“Accidentally” Accessed The Dark Web

awol-onion Report

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Ray Martin
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes, and you tell them "Please take me away, because I'm too stupid to be walking around free". It's not possible to access the dark web "on accident (sic)"

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#86

Man Ran Because Of A Belt

Man Ran Because Of A Belt

Dsp5_ Report

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Andy Acceber
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Is this really how conservatives think the Black Lives Matter movement works?

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#87

We Divorced Because My Kid Lied

We Divorced Because My Kid Lied

The-Holy-Sheep-3 Report

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Chiuki
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So the divorce had reached terminal velocity and couldn't be stopped.

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#88

Then The Whole House Clapped

Then The Whole House Clapped

jml1877 Report

#89

Does This Belong Here?

Does This Belong Here?

nolitos Report

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Chiuki
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"I was stalked by an imaginary hot girl, but I told her I was too shallow to talk to her". Imaginary girl dodge a bullet.

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#90

I Believe You

I Believe You

haggis_man1213 Report

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Lady Vader
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If there was any way at all that this was true, it would be fkn hilarious!! 🤣

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#91

Proud Mama Bird

Proud Mama Bird

The_OwO_Is_Comin Report

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Stoopham McFernybabes
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My son would say something like that. The part I don’t believe is the nurse kissing the kid.

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#92

I Vibe With Wanting Live Childfree But This Is Just Sad

I Vibe With Wanting Live Childfree But This Is Just Sad

Indominus_Khanum Report

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Gelato Cat
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Trust bp to post an article about childless people and this in the same day lol

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#93

Found This On Instagram Today And Thought Of You Guys

Found This On Instagram Today And Thought Of You Guys

420_420_man Report

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Bianca Saville
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is not far fetched. There are kids like that and I'm lucky when I get to teach them.

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#94

A Girl Posted In My Pe Class That Her Mile Run Was 4 Minutes And 39 Seconds... What?

A Girl Posted In My Pe Class That Her Mile Run Was 4 Minutes And 39 Seconds... What?

wispy-cloud Report

#95

Give Me A Break

Give Me A Break

Haleylumlum Report

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Helen Haley
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A teacher trying to be encouraging, I could see that happening. I could also see an egocentric teenager taking it like this.

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