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Fellas, is it feminine to respect others?

What makes someone a “real man” is up for debate. Is it having an expensive car? Being great at football? Spending your weekends fishing and drinking beer? Or looking down on artists, vegetarians and anyone else who hasn’t pumped their veins full of toxic masculinity?

We all know clinging onto rigid, outdated ideas of what it means to be a man is ridiculous. Well, most of us know that. But for some reason, there are still people out there trying to gatekeep masculinity, so today, we’re calling them out. From making up rules about what kinds of cars men are allowed to have to claiming that guys aren’t allowed to take naps (We all get sleepy, don’t we?!), down below, we’ve gathered some of the most arbitrary restrictions placed upon men that have been shared in Gatekeeping subreddit

Be sure to upvote the posts you find most absurd, and don’t forget to press the button hard and fast. Just like a real man would! Then, if you’re interested in reading another Bored Panda article highlighting how ridiculous toxic masculinity is, check out this story next!

#2

Yeah Screw Modern Safety Regulations!! I'd Rather Die An Unrecognizable Heap Of Flesh Tangled In A 2 Ton Machine Than Risk My Masculinity Being Questioned!

Yeah Screw Modern Safety Regulations!! I'd Rather Die An Unrecognizable Heap Of Flesh Tangled In A 2 Ton Machine Than Risk My Masculinity Being Questioned!

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James016
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Also like a "real man" you won't know what killed you as you don't clean your windows.

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#3

Gatekeeping Masculinity Over Hairstyles

Gatekeeping Masculinity Over Hairstyles

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censorshipsucks
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

vikings had man buns and you don't get more man than viking, so f**k off.

DubMaccaT
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes I grew my hair and wore a man bun for a year and didn’t care what people like this thought and then happily donated to a cancer charity for wigs.

Erihapeti Swampwitch
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In Māori culture the top knot/manbun/putikitiki is a sign of strength, so yeah..nah. my ancestors would be proud

Holly🇫🇮🇬🇧
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Who cares what a wolf thinks of pugs?? I love my little rascal pupper and that's all that matters

MaggieMay85
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I try to remind myself that my Shih Tzu is a descendant of wolves, but all I see is pure Ewok.

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Weasel Wise
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Okay, so we're all in agreement, man buns have been worn for centuries, across the entire globe, by some incredibly badass groups of men, and that a man bun does not in any way reduce your masculinity....and that they're gross. 🤣

Lesley Christie
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wolves are smarter than this idiot so they would recognise a lot of their descendents have safe homes, plenty of food, lots of happy walks, important jobs and loving packs.

Lemon Beans
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was just talking about the fact that my tiny little Maltese poodle's ancestors would be proud that he has 5 people waiting on his every beck and call xD

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Mario Strada
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

OK, I am not a fan of Men Buns. However, just like with many other things like Tattoos, piercings, skirts, etc. , I simply don't wear one and I don't judge those who do. I especially don't care about their virility or masculinity. In fact, I think that if I did, iot would probably be to cover some kind of deep insecurity.

StrangeOne
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't care for man buns out of preference, but it does make me ponder if men see women's buns the same way. Either way, this policing of what men do with their hair is just as toxic as telling women what to do with their hair. Double standards, I guess.

L.A. Trefry
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hahahahaha. A whole lot of people "grandpa" age used to have long hair and were "flower children." Not everyone was a knuckle-dragging loser 50-60 years ago.

Ur_Mom
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

PUGS ARE ADORABLE YOU RAT THE WOLVES WOULD LOOK DOWN WITH PRIDE AND TEARS OF JOY GLIMMERING IN THEIR EYES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Emie N.
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Imagine masculinity so fragile, that you get so upset over another guy minding his own business, and doing what he wants with his own hair.

Zelda Sterling
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

complaining about man buns is as tired as the avocado toast thing...let's move on

Courtney Christelle
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Our ancestors had man buns while killing their food with spears. I'm sure they'd be disappointed to see how fragile your masculinity it over a hair do. Also, my son has long hair and looks great with it pulled back.

Genna Lee
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Funny considering a couple generations back cutting off hair would be considered emasculating 💁‍♀️

Amanda Hunter
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Coming from a red-blooded woman, I think they can be quite attractive.

Dingooo
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I just wish I had hair on my head instead of everywhere else.

Kioh81
Community Member
Premium
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Pugs and domesticated dogs are not descended from wolves anyways so this example is invalid. New research shows they split off separately from the same ancestor but evolved separately. And also if a guy is so insecure they are threatened by a hairstyle of another man, well that's a hard pass for me.

Masen Silas
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My dads 62, crunchy, a construction worker, built like a brick house and LOVES that I am trans and is gay himself

LH25
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't like the look of a man bun, even on a hot guy. However, I don't think those who wear one are any less men.

Lee Banks
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My masculine dude was so masculine he f*****g masculined-up and quarantined so hard he couldn't get a hair cut. Man bun for safety!

Yo Mama
Community Member
1 year ago

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Terra Raizor
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

We made pugs by force, man buns just happen and are a preference.

Tyler
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

most man buns are weird, but some pull it off quite well *ahem Xavier from "Wednesday"*

rodger coghlan
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I once remarked to a woman with her long hair up in a bun "I didn't know women could have a man bun" (she said that she had never heard that before)

Naomi Gill
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Dude, "man bun" is what happens when I guy with long hair has to pull his hair out of his face for something. Like changing a car battery. And before anyone says anything about guys with long hair, I dare you to say that to Lief Ericson.

Max
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I mean, disappointing the man who counts as my biological and legal great-grandfather is one of my major life goals. Yes he's been dead for sixty years. I don't care, he deserves to have an unashamed queer for a descendant.

pug nose curly tail
Community Member
Premium
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

IDC about man buns, to each is own. But pugs are awesome!!!

Marla Sanderson
Community Member
1 year ago

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David
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

At least a man bun doesn't scream "hold my beer" the way a mullet does.

MissMePhoenix
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Idk i think man buns can *sometimes* be cute. Also pugs were bred that way by humans not nature, that having been said they're usually highly valued by the people who own them and they're well taken care of, so the wolves would prolly be like "damn what do they kno that we don't" or something like that

MimSorensson
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Let’s talk about how HIS granddad would feel about that girly, weak dependency on electricity, shall we?

Un specified
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why? What’s wrong with pugs? They do have the ability to survive. Though in a slightly different way… being cute

Neil
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Man buns were invented to hide bald spots. They're the modern combover.

Just Me
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Kinda have to agree with this. Man buns? Just a huge no from me.

Luna Crow
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Because long flowing locks look fantastic! But sometimes you gotta do things, and it gets in the way. Mine's down past my a*s, and I can't work, cook, exercise.. pretty much anything not leisure time, without knotting it up

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Chuck Freiman
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I totally agree with this post. Whenever I see a man bun I want to grab some scissors.

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Nobody likes to be placed in a box. But unfortunately, society loves to put everyone in boxes. Men might have more privilege than women in many places, but that doesn’t make them immune to the harm of toxic masculinity. The idea that a woman must be a certain way works in the opposite direction as well. Men are expected to be strong, take up space, be unafraid of anything, be unemotional and apparently, they’re not allowed to enjoy self-care or anything relaxing. We know that guys are just as capable as women of being sensitive, emotional, artistic, and loving, but some people seem to ignore that idea and equate masculinity with loud cars that pollute the earth and eating mass quantities of meat.

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My partner self identifies as a “soy boy” because we don’t eat meat, and instead eat a lot of tofu and tempeh, but this phrase has been used as an insult by many men who seem to be a bit less confident in their masculinity. The idea that eating soy products makes someone less of a man or that it lowers testosterone levels (it doesn't) is just one of the arbitrary beliefs placed on men to try to keep them in a box and narrow the definition of masculinity. This list is full of similar examples, so we hope you get a kick out of reading them, but it’s also a bit painful to realize that some people actually posted these ideas unironically…

#4

You Simply Cannot Be Jacked And Smart At The Same Time. It Doesn't Work That Way

You Simply Cannot Be Jacked And Smart At The Same Time. It Doesn't Work That Way

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#5

Gatekeeping Masculinity As It Relates To... Car Features

Gatekeeping Masculinity As It Relates To... Car Features

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Now, don’t get me wrong. I hope it goes without saying that it is perfectly fine to be a guy who really does love football, cars, fishing, drinking beers, fixing cars, eating steak and working out. Plenty of people enjoy these things, regardless of their gender! But the point is that we have to understand that these are not gender-specific interests. Plenty of women know how to fix up a car, and plenty of guys don’t. That doesn’t change their gender identity one bit. And we can’t look down on anyone else who doesn’t share the same interests we do. We’re all free to choose how we like to spend our time, but deciding to expend energy shaming others is just a waste of time.

Just like strict gender roles and expectations can have a negative impact on women, the same can be said for men. Toxic masculinity is often used to perpetuate ideas such as “boys will be boys”, allowing boys and men to get away with inappropriate behavior because that’s just how they are! They can’t help it! The pressure to look and act a certain way can also have devastating effects on the mental health of boys and men. When they’re taught they can’t share their emotions or open up, it’s easy for their internal struggles to go unnoticed and unaddressed.  

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#7

Why Drive A Small, Affordable, Efficient Car When Bigger = Betterer ??

Why Drive A Small, Affordable, Efficient Car When Bigger = Betterer ??

ThatGrimshaw Report

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James016
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Running costs, efficiency, easier to park, easier to navigate traffic. Where do I begin?

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#8

My Masculinity Is Defined By My Inability To Read

My Masculinity Is Defined By My Inability To Read

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#9

Loud Cars Are The Peak Of Masculinity

Loud Cars Are The Peak Of Masculinity

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“Men tend to keep so much bottled up inside. This includes all the traumas and heart-breaking moments. Eventually there has to be a release. And too often that is in an explosive way,” says Ron Blake, a social justice activist and public speaker. When men aren’t taught how to express their emotions, they can become overwhelmed easily when they don’t know what to do with their feelings. This can lead to expressions of physical violence, such as sexual violence, domestic abuse, gun violence or physical dominance. When kept on the inside, these undealt feelings often manifest in depression, addiction or even suicide. It’s dangerous for everyone to impose rigid views of masculinity.

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#10

Napping Is A Female Thing

Napping Is A Female Thing

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Alyza
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

my dad, who has been happily married to my mom for thirty years, just went to the bedroom take a nap. poor mom's in for a surprise when he comes out

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#11

Apparently How You Eat Your Steak Determines Your Level Of Masculinity

Apparently How You Eat Your Steak Determines Your Level Of Masculinity

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Serial pacifist
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I just bite on live cattle grazing. Tarzan is how hardware store employees refer to me.

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While men and women are both prone to struggling with mental health issues, men are far more likely to die by suicide and far less likely to utilize mental health services. So what should we be doing to combat this toxic masculinity? According to Mens Group, it’s important to first identify your role in these gender norms and what beliefs you hold that you want to challenge. “If you were abusive in your relationships, you need to learn better coping mechanisms and cope with anger,” Mens Group explains. “You can only find a way forward by first understanding where you are. It starts with self-examining your behavior and identifying areas that require positive change.”

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#13

Masculinity Gatekeeping

Masculinity Gatekeeping

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Dan Holden
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What does it mean if we wear your underwear while watching football?

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#15

Gatekeeping Skin Masculinity

Gatekeeping Skin Masculinity

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Karl Baxter
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

30 years ago, the only people with tattoos could be roughly divided into the military and criminals. When your grandmother gets inked, it’s a sign that tattoos are now about as countercultural and rebellious as wearing red socks.

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Combating toxic masculinity will also likely lead to some difficult or uncomfortable conversations. “This is achievable by talking to people of the opposite gender identities and expressions,” Mens Group notes. “You need to talk about gender biases concerning masculinity. This will give you an understanding of how your behavior affects people of the opposite gender.”

“Men need to learn not to get defensive when having these difficult conversations. The aim of the talks should be to seek understanding, which helps to facilitate positive change.”

#16

Fishing = Peak Masculinity

Fishing = Peak Masculinity

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#18

You Are Not A Man If You Have Blonde Hair, Apparently

You Are Not A Man If You Have Blonde Hair, Apparently

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Lakota Wolf
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This actually pisses me off. My dad was naturally blonde. He was Swedish by genetics/heritage. He was a good man and a great father. Eff you and your idiotic, nonsensical prejudices, Emmy.

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It’s important that we educate young boys that there really is no “box” they need to fit into. It’s all arbitrary. They can make their own decisions about what they are interested in and how they want to express themselves, and we should never make them feel guilty or looked down upon for showing emotions. Teach boys to help out around the house and in the kitchen just as much as their sisters, and teach them to respect all people, regardless of their gender, sexual orientation, interests, etc. Essentially, combating toxic masculinity should be as simple as raising boys and girls equally and never shaming boys for being themselves. But unfortunately, due to the way society currently is, it takes a bit of correcting past prejudices.   

#19

Fragile Masculinity

Fragile Masculinity

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Follo00
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why is it, that so many of this post, try to offend men by comparing them to women? Like, F you! The misogyny is crazy high.

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#20

Ever Had Your Masculinity And Eating Habits Gatekept By A Bottle Of Cheap Hot Sauce?

Ever Had Your Masculinity And Eating Habits Gatekept By A Bottle Of Cheap Hot Sauce?

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V
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Urgh, most of these type of sauces just taste like corn syrup and capsaicin with liquid smoke flavour.

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#21

Gatekeeping Fatherhood, Masculinity, All Sorts Really

Gatekeeping Fatherhood, Masculinity, All Sorts Really

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The Book of Man also notes that when fighting toxic masculinity, one great step is to dare to be vulnerable with your male friends, to show them that it’s okay and even welcomed. “Show strength by crying. Do this in the knowledge that all men go through emotional difficulties. Daily!” they write. “It’s true that if one man shows it’s okay to do something, we, as pack animals, tend to follow. So open up yourself, and become that person your friends open up to too. Men tend to either keep emotional traumas to themselves or go for female support. While the latter is a wonderful thing, surely we can make a decision to serve that support role to our buddies too. But it takes a hardy soul to stick their neck above the parapet first to see if we’re in the clear to do so. Be that soul.”

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#22

Gate Keeping Masculinity

Gate Keeping Masculinity

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Jason
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My father failed at life and I can drive manual. Wonder where that falls on the scale.

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#23

Gatekeeping Masculinity

Gatekeeping Masculinity

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#24

Gatekeeping Masculinity

Gatekeeping Masculinity

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And don’t stop questioning why things are the way they are. Because often, there’s not a great reason. “It’s a bloodless revolution,” The Book of Man writes. “A revolution in the head, but not in the inward looking way it was in the Sixties, because you want to effect lasting change, and not be naked all the time. Question the way we are brought up, question the systems of power, question how you are being controlled, question all thinking about being a man. Seek some answers for yourself and take responsibility. The end to toxic masculinity has to be started by men so it becomes socially unacceptable. Let’s start the change now.”

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#27

Imagine Gatekeeping Shoes As A Sign Of Masculinity

Imagine Gatekeeping Shoes As A Sign Of Masculinity

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Jason
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Have people who post this stuff actually worn a suit and tie for over 8 hours a day? I hate ties with a passion

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According to this list, men must have beards, have loud, large cars, be great at fishing, play sports, must eat meat, must not recycle, must not wear sneakers, must never take naps, must have tattoos, must not have an iPhone, along with much more… It is exhausting even reading this list, let alone trying to live in a way that conforms to these silly ideas. I hope all of you pandas know that, regardless of your gender, you can behave however you like. As long as you respect others, how you dress and what hobbies you choose to have are completely up to you. A real man is someone who identifies as a man! Keep upvoting the posts you find most comical, and then if you’re interested in reading another article discussing toxic masculinity, look no further than right here.  

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#28

Being A Man

Being A Man

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#30

Because Driving What You Enjoy Is Shameful

Because Driving What You Enjoy Is Shameful

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#31

This Man Has A Comic Book Character Pfp, Btw

This Man Has A Comic Book Character Pfp, Btw

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#32

So Much Bs Toxic Masculinity In This, Glad I'm Not A "Real Man"

So Much Bs Toxic Masculinity In This, Glad I'm Not A "Real Man"

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Mohsie Supposie
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wait, I thought real men were supposed to have beards, and that shaving was "gay"! Now they say to use straight shavers, and an e-book! Aren't e-books "gay" too? I'm really confused now on how to be a real man! It's making me giddy!

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#33

Gatekeeping Whatever Tf This Is

Gatekeeping Whatever Tf This Is

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Matthew Thompson
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Bolt from an AR-15 / M16. Any man or woman who spent time in the military recognizes it (and has spent hours cleaning it!)

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