We called off our wedding because my fiance got cancer. We spent what was supposed to be our wedding day in the hospital. However! He is cancer free now, so we've decided to MAYBE start thinking about getting married again in a year. We've both decided we're not planning the damn thing though. Eff that. Elopement all the way betches!

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I was 18 and had just had a kid with my first boyfriend. Unfortunately, said boyfriend was abusive as s**t, but I'd been putting up with it because I didn't know any better and didn't have family to help me out. The wedding was 2 weeks away, invitations had gone out, I had my dress, everything was ready to go. Then, one night he starts up with his craziness (you never know what sets it off), and I was tired so I didn't argue back. And when I didn't argue, he runs into my infant son's room, wakes him up by snatching him out of his crib, and threatens to leave with him and never come back.

As I'm on my knees crying and begging him to please give me the baby and he's holding the screaming child above me like someone holding a piece of steak just out of a dog's reach, I started thinking twice about the whole marriage thing.

I did what I had to to appease him that night, and the next day when he came home from work, he had no idea where I'd moved to. He did call his mother and tell her to shoot me if she saw me though. Luckily, she did not. In fact, she was in the process of aiding and abetting my escape at the very moment he called. F**k that guy.

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Called it off because I got a Facebook message from the girl he was sleeping with. Didn't even believe her till she sent me detailed descriptions of *MY* house, complete with the color and pattern of my current bedsheets. Kicked his sorry a*s out and kept the ring. Pawned that s**t. M**********r was living rent free in my house while I paid all the bills. Dumped his a*s, lost 100+ lbs. feelsgoodman.jpg

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Obviously, throw-away time. I called off my wedding four days before the big day. Two of my bridesmaids (my best friend since high school and my cousin) got into a huge fight because they found out that he was sleeping with both of them. It was cheating within cheating and was easily the most surreal and heart-breakingly awful experience of my entire life.

throw_away_it , Liza Summer Report

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We called off our wedding because I had a meltdown over centerpieces. We realized that our priorities were totally in the wrong place and it was becoming more about a wedding than a marriage. We cancelled the wedding and eloped the next week. No regrets.

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My fiance called it off when she found out I wasn't rich. Apparently there's a guy with the same name as me who is heir to this huge fortune, whereas I'm just some idiot from a lower middle class family. She came into my life like a dream and I was so taken with her I thought that it was like a fantasy come true. When she met my family and found out who they were, she litteraly ran from the house. I had to track her down and found out after the fact that she was trying to get with someone she thought was an heir. I did a lot of growing up that year, fortunately for me, she didn't get what she wanted either. The guy she was after turned out to be gay and she now makes a living waiting tables.

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My best friend called her wedding off 9 days before the big day. She discovered the he had emptied their joint wedding account playing online poker after he emptied his own personal account. She explained that the feeling of losing a down payment on a house, as well as the catering money wasn't anything compared to how she felt when he asked her for her inheritance from her mother (she had passed a year previously) to pay off more gambling debts. No apologies, no mea culpas, just more money. She walked, and 8 years later she's happily married to another guy with 1 boy and a bun in the oven!

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After a day of trying on wedding dresses, just me and my maid of honor, we met my family and hubby-to-be at my brother's house for dinner. While showing a picture of myself in a dress to my mother, which was on my bff's phone, she gets a text message from my fiance. This is odd because i can see him in the next room and i can see my friend in the kitchen. I read it of course and its a huge confession from him to her, addressing how they had fooled around a few weeks ago and he was really regretting he hadn't taken things further with her. He had NO idea i had her phone in my hand. I simply stood up and walked the 10 feet to him, held up her phone and looked him in the eye. The look on his face was priceless, and when i could speak i and my entire family let them both have it verbally (we're black, so you can imagine that was quite the showdown). Needless to say, i don't speak to either of them anymore. 

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I found out my fiancée was acting like a real life bridezilla. I had gotten a text from her friend, it read something like "Got your number from Gina's phone. She's seriously acting c*nty. Are you sure about this?" Not believing it at first, I was then sent videos, and in one video Gina was seriously losing her s**t, screaming at her lifelong friends. This wasn't a side of her I had seen before. Then, I received a video, in which Gina said, and I quote: "He's going to buy me everything I want, he makes enough money, unlike your boyfriend who makes $9 an hour at a s****y retail job. I don't know how you date him, he has no money, he can't buy you anything" The girls response was affectionate, she obviously really loved the guy. Gina's response? "Well if he doesn't have any money what is the point?" I texted Gina's friend saying continue to record video, I'm going to call her. I called Gina and told her the wedding was off, her friends had been recording video of her acting like the biggest b***h on the face of the planet, and they're recording you right now. Why they are recording you, is because I want to see the look on your face and be able to save it forever. The wedding is not only off, but we're through, and since you don't have your name on the lease of our apartment, and I pay for everything, you'll be discovering all your belongings outside on the ground. Delete my number and never attempt to contact me again. The video was absolutely priceless.

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35 years ago I did that. I was a young Naval officer and set to marry the girl I fell in love with at college. I got cold feet three days before the event and cancelled it. It wasn't because I had had second thoughts about her; it was the stupid idea that I thought I could either be a good husband or a good submarine officer. I didn't think I could do both. About 9 months later I got a call from her (about 1000 miles away) and I found out that she had a new boyfriend. It just devestated me. I did everything I could to regain her confidence, but it took almost a year. During that year I was stationed at the submarine base in Bangor, Washington and she was 2400 miles away in Cincinnati, Ohio with that POS rich boyfriend hounding her daily. It really took a toll on me. I had many sleepless nights imagning the worst. I didn't give up though. A few months before we were scheduled to relocate to submarine squadron one in Pearl Harbor I took a chance and drove to Cincinnati. I convinced her to come back to Bangor with me and made the trip through the southwest and then back up the California coast along the Pacific. It was as much like a honeymoon as I could make it on my limited salary, and it was memorable. By the time we reached Washington Mount St Helens erupted. We were on the highway about 40 miles from it when it blew. The sky just turned black and the mud flows washed out the bridges north of us. We were re-routed along the coast and finally made it to Bangor. She had to return to CIncinnati, bu this time it was with the plan to return to Washington. When she flew back we eloped with a justice of the peace. That was almost 33 years ago. We have three sons and we couldn't be happier. Our boys re all grown up and I'm not far from retirment. Marrying her was the best, smartest thing I ever did.

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I called off my engagement because the moment I stopped being his girlfriend and started being "his future wife" was the moment I stopped being a person to him and became his property. He hit me, he forced himself on me, he tried to stop me talking to my family or friends. It was scary, and I loved him and was so confused. We'd been together years and he was so nice, what on earth happened?

I spent a few months trying to fix it back to how it was before the engagement, then gave up and ran away. He wasn't going to change, and even if he did, I couldn't forgive him anymore. We hadn't set a date yet, our families couldn't agree on location, style or season and he just wanted "right now, registry office" which nobody but him wanted...

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the LIES! oh my goodness the lies. Here's some background: My fiancee had baggage. I knew that. As in, I was going to be ok with becoming stepmom to 3 children, a daughter in law to two cr*ppy parents and sister in law to a stupid mess of a woman, and knew that I would be bringing home the bacon. I even bought a house that would be big enough to house him and the three kids. But he told me he never married his baby-momma, and that he would leave my house at night for occasional night shift work as a cop. I asked to see the court decision regarding the kids, just so I knew what was going on.... he kept the first page from me, that read "Divorce Decree". So when his parents made a "second marriage" comment, I was thrown for a loop. This was a pretty big thing to keep from your wife-to-be in 6 months. I told him to leave, and he swore up and down that was the only thing he lied about. I called his "employer", and it turns out he's not a cop either. So I have NO IDEA where he went when he left the house that I was paying for, and I immediately went to get tested. Yea, the f*****g lies.

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A friend of mine attended a wedding where the groom waited till his fiancée arrived at the altar, then pulled a huge red fabric letter A out of his pocket, pinned it to the front of her dress, and walked out of the church without a word.

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My dad called off a wedding before he met my mother. He was with this woman that really pressured him into getting married. Basically she just started wedding planning without a proposal. And my dad let it go too far. One night she and her mother were discussing what food was going to be served at the reception. So they asked my dad what he thought. "Roasted chicken or beef?" To which my dad replied, "I don't care which one you're having, because I'm not going to be there." Apparently she bought her own ring, too.

zeroshiftsl , micheile henderson Report

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This is one time religion helped me a great deal...

I was engaged to a girl and we were living together, but had known each other for less than a year. She was a true nympho, and I was fine with that at 22.

We went to meet the preacher who was going to marry us, and he suggested we stop having sex for the two months before the wedding to make the night more special. So we did.

We found out rather quickly we had very little in common outside the bedroom. And I wisely chose to call things off.

Not too long after that, I met my soul mate and we've been married for 19 years now.

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My mom was engaged to be married to her high school sweetheart, let's call him Bob. Bob went to her doorstep two weeks before their wedding and told her he had joined the military and wasn't ready for marriage. He flew to Germany the next day. Fast-forward 30 years and two divorces later, my mom was single with five children from two marriages. She runs into her old high school sweetheart Bob. He is also single and recently divorced. They fall in love and have been together ever since. **Spoiler Alert: Bob is actually his name.**

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I was about two months away from getting married to someone I had been living with for about a year. I was getting fitted for my wedding dress when I looked in the mirror and thought to myself "I really hope he and I can stay friends after we're divorced." Then I thought, "Wait, did I really just think that?"

I got honest with myself and realized that at most, I had lukewarm feelings for this guy and that I only had been thinking about the wedding day but not the marriage or the life we were going to live together. I was 21 and just wanted to get married without having really understood what that meant.

I called it off, moved away, and met the love of my life three months later. We've been together for 11 years now, married for almost four, and are expecting our first baby this summer. Best decision I ever made!

musicalnix , Cate Bligh Report

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He dislocated my jaw.

Tuesday_D , macniak Report

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First of all, we were too young. We had been living together for a few years, were serious about each other and felt like it was the next step. We got engaged, planned the wedding for the next summer. Paid tons of deposits, I had a dress and everything. The entire time it felt off. Just stressful and I constantly had this what if I'm making a huge mistake feeling. I should have listened to it sooner, but 4 months before the big day I called it off.

His drinking/drug use had gotten extremely out of control. I realized I couldn't fix him and as much as it hurt I knew that we'd never have a happy life with his addiction issues. I moved my stuff out that next day and told him to leave me alone and never talk to me again because I needed a clean break.

That fall I started grad school and started a new life without him. Several months after we split, he contacted me telling me he'd been in AA for a couple months and needed to make amends as part of his program. I went back to our old place to meet him and saw a different man than I had ever seen.

It's been almost 2 years since we split/called off our wedding and he's been sober that entire time. I'm happy to say we're getting married this summer and this time everything feels right. I have gone to at least one meeting a week with him and while I know he's never "cured" of alcoholism, the fact that he got sober in spite of me not because of me, increases the likelihood that he'll keep at it.

For anyone considering calling off their wedding, I implore you to do so. The wedding train is a tough one to jump off of once it leaves the station, but it can be done and I'm happy to talk to anyone who has questions.

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A friend of mine was engaged to a girl. He was your typical SAP, he'd been on literally dozens of first dates from OKcupid and had had no luck with the ladies. Really nice guy, but completely socially lacking. She turned out to be a pathological liar. She was an army vet, she practiced underwater knife fighting, she came from old money but her part of the money had been spent on an incredibly lavish wedding ceremony,she had a daughter or maybe she didn't or maybe the girl was her niece or her friend's kid, she was military police.

The lies got so bad that she decided to move across country in the middle of the night with my friend to avoid a warrant out for her arrest. (fraud and impersonating a police officer) She told him that there were jobs for both of them waiting there with her family business. He had been working on a Ph.D. but had dropped out at her suggestion so he wasn't working at all and they were broke. So, they moved in with her mom and there weren't jobs for either of them. I think to distract him from that fact, she told him she was pregnant (a miracle!). He proposed. The ultrasound photo she showed him showed up on the first page of google image results for 'ultrasound.' He finally broke it off, he called his dad to get some money to fly home. She called him a few weeks later from jail to talk about their 'baby' and how she was going to get an abortion if he didn't get back together with her. The lady, she was nuts.

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She was pregnant. We were working on a limited income. We decided it was better to just go to city hall and save the money for the baby.

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She decided she was still in love with her ex.

I had her call my mom and my grandma to tell them she was calling off the wedding. She did it and then proceeded to drive 3hrs to see her ex, who then told her he didn't want to be with her.

At least I got back the ring I gave her ... I proposed with the same ring my grandfather proposed to my grandma before leaving for WWII.

anon , Jackie Tsang Report

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We found out I couldn't have children, and he wanted to have children of his own and didn't think adoption was a viable option.

DoctorChick , RDNE Stock project Report

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I was about to make a huge mistake. I realized my fiancé was drinking too much, neglecting me emotionally, and was never actually there when I needed him (for example, a friend of mine died, and he didn't want to go with me to the funeral because he had a Magic: The Gathering tournament). I was marrying the completely wrong man, and thank god I realized it before it was too late and was brave enough to call it off.

My family was super supportive, my super awesome grandmother took care of letting all the guests know. My dad had no problem with the money he lost in all the deposits. I gave my wedding cake to a homeless shelter since it was already paid for in full. Three years later, I married a wonderful man who is everything the first guy was not.

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I got engaged for the wrong reasons... I thought since I graduated college that it would be the next logical step. But as I started planning the wedding, I could feel in my gut that I was making a horrible decision. I still followed him 1000+ miles away to the city he was planning on attending law school at, but it all fell apart shortly after moving. It was a pretty awful breakup (he stole/sold nearly all of my games and threatened to rape me if I didn't leave the apartment), but now I know I made the right call and things are a lot better.

maidenastraea , Emily Ranquist Report

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My ex girlfriends mothers wedding was called off because they found the groom's brother dead on a rural road in Manitoba, Canada.He had been missing for 3 weeks. When The groom said he couldn't do it that day the bride lost her mind saying that just because his brother got himself killed(he was adventurous) she shouldn't have to delay the wedding. After about 2 hours of arguing he and I along with his family left. i broke up with her so did he. The groom and I are still good friends to this day.

TL;DR grooms brother died and the Bridezilla and her family were a******s

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We were both fairly young, I was 21 he was 23. We were responsible, self sufficient, we bought a house together. He was my first kiss, and I was head over heels. We got engaged 4 years into the relationship, and then everything started falling apart.

He started to get controlling, no longer wanting me to go out with friends, or even my sister. When it came to me telling him we just couldn't afford a new TV, or some other non-essential, he would pout and with hold love. If I wasn't perfectly happy he wouldn't talk to me.

I was considering breaking it off when he decided that he wanted to try a**l, whether I wanted to or not. The only thing I could think of through the pain and tears was that this was only going to get worse. I was devastated that the person I loved would just keep going while I was begging him to stop.

Breaking off my engagement was the best decision I ever made. I've gained all of my confidence back, and happier than I ever was in that relationship. I'm never settling again, I deserve better.

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So a friend of mine, we'll say Becca was due to get married last year on august 10th. I went to her bridal shower where over and over she gloated how she would be marrying we'll say Mike, in just over a week and how lucky she was and how none of us were as lucky as she was. (yes she is that full of herself) So about 4 days before the wedding she blasts on her facebook about how the wedding has been postponed, and then a few hours later how it is has been postponed indefinitely. Turns out, another former friend of hers had a video of her boyfriend and Mike having sex. Mike found out Becca knew, and got all his stuff and left. About a month later Mike gets into a car accident and claims he has amnesia of all the events, and thought they were married. (in his accident he never hit his head, so the doctors say he is completely bullsh*tting everyone) Becca who is stupid, and Mormon and needs the husband decides to get back with him. She is now about 6 months pregnant. They are not married, and he still claims that he has forgotten everything...including the sex he had with another guy.

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I had to call mine off because the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with (or so I thought) decided to sit me down the night before and tell me all about the trysts and flings he had been having throughout our relationship together. He said if he doesn't come clean now, he would not be able to live with himself. After the list was done, I was crying my eyes out. He said something along the lines of, "Well, I didn't think you would take it THIS hard." Seriously.

We were going to have a huge wedding, even though I really didn't want a huge one (weird I guess, but I never envisioned my wedding growing up like other little girls), so I had to call tons and tons of people and tell them it was off; listen to them try to console me over the phone, and crying every time I hung it up. He told me he didn't want to call anyone because he was so upset with me calling it off. He didn't want to see me ever again.

That worked, because I found someone who actually loves me, and we have been married for 3.5 years with a beautiful 2.5 year old son. And he has never cheated on me. I never thought I could trust again, but I am still slowly getting over that fear after all these years (It was 12 years ago).

flipflop979 , RDNE Stock project Report

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Together 4 years, engaged for 3 months. He thought it would be a good time to tell me that he was attracted to children *in addition* to adult women a few days before the rehearsal. Maybe he thought I'd be too distracted with the planning, maybe he couldn't hold it in any longer, I don't know. *He* didn't talk to me for a few days after that so, confused and f****d up to my core, I told my dad who told me to call it off which I did. After two weeks. He basically disappeared making everyone think he had cold feet and then came back as though it would just be fine if a little weird. It was not pretty. 

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Fiance let three marines run a train on her 2 weeks before the wedding. Told me and assured me we could work it out, to which I replied that those guys already "worked it out" enough. Was worth the 10k in unrefundable deposits.

morelikejay , RDNE Stock project Report

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She first off pressured me into proposing. While I was also madly in love her at the time, I was also very young and very stupid. I saved up for a year and bought the ring and did a whole romantic night out. Do it, blahblahblah, she's happy and really starts letting the crazy flow. I dated this girl for 6 years and after I propose she starts letting these little S**t-bits about herself come up casually in conversations so "you couldnt react without making our friends uncomfortable and I know you wouldn't call me out anyway". Basically she turned out to be psycho, manipulative, and a fundie which was stupid to me even as a Christian. When I did break things off I saw her world shatter. Not just because she thought "the devil was possessing you to tell me things things" but I ruined one of the best lies she ever built. So good she even convinced herself that the little awkward boy from highschool wouldn't grow a pair and end things with a manipulative dumb psycho. 

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I called off my wedding recently due to a pregnancy that she decided to terminate while I was at work. We weren't engaged as a result of the pregnancy, or pressure from family/friends. We had fallen in love, and moved in together over a 2 year period of time. Then she took a pregnancy test due to a late period, and it was confirmed later that day by a doctor. I got excited, she got worried. Nothing I said seemed to calm her down. About a week into it, she told me she had terminated. Over a steak dinner...

I harbored a lot of resentment toward her for it, though I told her I support her and her decision. Over the ensuing 6 weeks or so, I started (subconsciously) distancing myself from her. While at home I spent all of my time on the computer, playing video games, reading, etc. Then I finally told her that I didn't think I wanted to get married. She was devastated. Came home from work a couple days later and she had taken everything that was hers or shared and left.

That was 3 weeks ago tomorrow.

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Getting engaged put so much external pressure on our relationship that we both cracked. It took planning a wedding to realize how much I really didn't want to marry that person.

smilernoel , cottonbro studio Report

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I realized that she was more in love with getting married than she was with me. I was her Avenue to marriage, she felt that I'd be a loyal husband and a good father. But she didn't care about me more than a friend.

blitzbom , Nathan Dumlao Report

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My boyfriend's father joined the navy and left on a ship to avoid his wedding day. His bride-to-be had lied to him about being pregnant to guilt him into marriage. As the big day approached, she admitted she was not pregnant at all. She felt comfortable saying this because her father had ties to the mob and she knew he would be significantly hurt if he left dady's little girl at the altar. He joined the navy to get away and dumped her as he was going to training. He ran into her decades later and she acted like they were old friends. TL;DR: Boyfriend's father joined the navy to avoid his wedding to a mobster's daughter.

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My dad was engaged to this girl who came from a very wealthy family. He proposed because she gave him an ultimatum after she tried to make him jealous by flirting with his friends. He was Catholic and his church required them to go to counseling before the wedding. He slowly realized they had absolutely nothing in common and called off the wedding three days before. He was at her parent's house for a wedding shower three days before the ceremony and told her he didn't think they should get married. She didn't take it too well and flipped out and refused to let him leave the room. He slammed the wall with his fist and she stepped aside. My dad went downstairs where her mother and the other ladies were, picked up his hamster (I have no idea why my dad would bring his pet hamster to a wedding shower), told her mom she might need to go upstairs and check on her daughter, and walked out of the house carrying the hamster under his arm.

A few months later he met my mom and they've been married for over 30 years.

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A former roommate of mine was dumped 2 weeks before her wedding. Her fiance had moved away for a job a few months before the wedding and in that time he found a new girl. My poor roommate lost most of the deposits and couldn't even return her dress. Then, to add insult to injury she had to cancel the 2 weeks notice she'd already put in at her job because she was supposed to move to where he lived after the wedding.

All's well that ends well though. She moved on and met a wonderful guy. They just got married a few months ago. :)

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A girl I know did. She was getting married, and right after her bridal shower, she started realizing that she clicked much more with another guy. She called her fiance, hoping for some romantic gesture to assure her she was making the right choice and he replied with something to the effect of "If you have cold feet, that's your problem. I'm not hopping on a plane to put a band-aid on the situation" and realized that this guy wasn't the right guy.

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Lakota Wolf (she/her)

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1 year ago (edited)

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Woah, woah. Her fiancée suddenly wasn't the "right guy"? So the woman wanted her fiancée to make some big romantic gesture to make sure SHE was "making the right choice"? That's disgusting. A partner shouldn't have to make some extravagant romantic gesture/performance to "prove" that they're the "right choice". Either they are or they aren't. If the girl in this story felt she clicked more with some other guy, she needed to grow a pair (metaphorically) and tell her fiancée that. In no way was her fiancée RESPONSIBLE for making some huge gesture to "PROVE" he was the right guy.

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Jessica Bertram

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1 year ago

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as usual, your observations are, i think, incredibly on-target. Her need to have him somehow chase her to validate their relationship is terribly toxic.

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Ian Shaw

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1 year ago

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Granted, but his rather callous response is telling.

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Shark queen 🦈🦈🦈

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1 year ago

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Louder for the people in the back

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I heart Boo-BI-es

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Lakota, I totally agree with this for the most part except wouldn't it be her fiancè?? After reading a prior comment that I believe you made earlier in this thread I looked into the proper usage of fiancée and fiancé..🤣 please know I'm just busting your balls in a friendly way, if that's possible. I say this with good intentions, but I'm having some difficulty expressing that, hoping you know what I'm trying to say lol

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Jerusalem Cat Syndrome

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1 year ago (edited)

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"Whoa". It's spelled "whoa". Also, "PROVE": hypothetical apostrophes. set it apart--there's no reason to capitalize it for emphasis.

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Sonja

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1 year ago

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I don't think he was wrong though. She was putting too much onto him. If it's so close to the wedding and she needs 'romantic gestures' to get rid of doubt, something is wrong that he can't fix

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SobyKay

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1 year ago

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This story is weird....I think the guy dodged the bullet, not the lady. After all who wants to be trapped in a relationship where you're continually expected to prove yourself??

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Nina

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That's quite a cold response, wouldn't sit right with me as well. He doesn't have to pull out all the stops or something, but if I'm genuinely telling him I'm having concerns I'd expect more than a 'not my problem' response. If you're going to share your life you got yo be there for eachother

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Ima Manimal

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1 year ago

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Good for HIM.

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Gardener of Weeden

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1 year ago (edited)

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Wow, a lot of the commenters don't get it. I was in a similar situation. And it was actually on both sides. as we were getting ready to be married, we wanted to be sure. We both had past relationships that were not "resolved?". Between open and honest communication - with quite a bit of professing our love for each other - we resolved all past relationships and feelings of "what might have been". ... Married for 42yrs. A little bit of I adore you and Want you as my soulmate goes a LONG way.

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Jackal

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1 year ago

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Your situation was not similar if both of you had the same feelings... The fiance here clearly did not understand having feelings for someone else before the wedding and clearly stated that. Sorry, not everyone gets cold feet before a wedding and I think you are allowing your own experience to cloud your reasoning 🤷‍♀️

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Jessica Gilbert

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1 year ago

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I agree. Sometimes you have moments of weakness where you want assurance or support from your partner and when your partner doesn’t give it to you, it’s devastating.

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Panda-sized Potato

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1 year ago

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Dodged a bullet.

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Super Beast

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1 year ago

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the dude dodged a bullet for sure

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Rostit .

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1 year ago

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fyi, life is not a movie. John Cusack is not going to hold a boombox outside your window playing Peter Gabriel. You will have to pay your $2 and you will not have a 67 Camaro SS that gets fixed by the hot french girl across the street. sorry. Not happening.

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Azure Adams

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1 year ago

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She will repeat this type of behavior and pattern for many years.

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Michelle C

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1 year ago

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Good for him! In this case, I side with the ex-fiancé. I wonder now if she had done something like this before, given his coldness. It wasn’t up to him to fix her problems, although who knows what talking it out might have done?

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Sunshine Lady

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1 year ago

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That's exactly the kind of response my husband would give. And I truly love his honesty. Women usually expect something big, romantic like in the movies, but marriage is something you should so only if you're sure about it. If there's a dilemma, it's wrong. You have the relationship before the wedding to check if you click.

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Robin DJW

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1 year ago

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A married person should never expect a "right response" to anything. An honest response is the only kind that will work long term.

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Brian Droste

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1 year ago

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I was wondering what happen with the girl and the other guy. Did it work out for them?

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WonderWoman

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1 year ago

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A lot of people do that - well not to the extreme of just prior to wedding, but they create situations and expect big romantic gestures of 'fighting for my love' you know, like in every bad rom-com and pathetic romance novel.

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Roger9er

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1 year ago

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Clearly.

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I went on my first date at the age of 23. Having never been in a relationship before, I thought everything was going well. About 3 months in, we got pregnant. She told me that she was on the pill and that it was possible that she couldn't even get pregnant. This was a shock to my system, and we separated briefly following the announcement. We got back together though, and really tried to make it work. My daughter was born in August, very near our 1 year anniversary. My daughter is the greatest person in the world and she's done more for me than she'll ever know. I've learned so much through her about responsibility and being an adult.

Shortly after my daughter's birth, her mother began pushing the marriage issue and I saved up to buy a ring. I proposed and for some time it made things better between us. The situation was just too difficult though, we had nothing in common other than our daughter. Before long, she was again being verbally and psychologically abusive to me, but having never been treated like that, I didn't understand what I was doing wrong. I began seeing a therapist which helped me realize that I wasn't in a healthy relationship. Finally after an argument in which she threatened me with physical violence, I knew that things were just too toxic to continue. I definitely looked like the bad guy, but I had to make the best choice for the future of all those involved. The most difficult part was coming to the conclusion that this situation continuing around my daughter would actually be worse for her than us being apart.

TL;DR Knocked up the first girl I ever went out with. Tried to make it work, but too many differences.

i_i_i_i______O-___ Report

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An old friend of mine called off his wedding because he found out she f****d some dude at her Bachelorette party the weekend before. He waited until the day of the wedding to call it off, because he wanted her to have to explain it to her family.. most of whom flew into town for the wedding.

I was one of his groomsmen, so instead of saying his vows, we all took him out onto the town while in the tux's. It was still a pretty depressing night out. And he was pretty tore up about it for months.

zakos , Gift Habeshaw Report

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Was going to get married in March 2012, and called it off in January of that year. Basically it just came down to a disagreement on what we wanted out of life. I was 23 at the time (would've been 24 at the wedding), she was 27. She wanted kids. Like almost immediately. I told her that we needed to wait on that (I'm still in college, I wanted to get a job and a home and whatnot first), but she was completely unwilling to compromise on it. She demanded that we have kids before she was 30, so within a year or two of the wedding, and there's no way that I would be ready for kids by 25/26, especially as I'm still working on college. This was causing more and more of a divide between us, and I knew that if we had gotten married that either I would've gotten what I wanted and we would've waited for kids and she would've resented me, or she would've gotten what she wanted and we would've had kids, and both I would resent her AND we would have a kid or kids that we were unprepared to take care of.

I still miss her every day, though, and always wonder if I made the right decision.

yakovgolyadkin , Marisa Howenstine Report

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My fiancee started having an affair with her supervisor. I found the conversations when she forgot to log off of Facebook one day. I worked my a*s off for about a month to try to win her back, but eventually gave up. We broke up, she went on a couple of dates with him. He tried to f**k her, and she stopped halfway (she had always been very conservative about sex) because she wasn't ready. He got angry and refused to talk to her ever again. That was about 3 days before I moved out of state. She begged for me to come back. No luck. We were in the planning step (we had only been engaged for about a year, and money was a bit of an issue), so fortunately aside from a few minor things (the ring being the most expensive thing at that point) we hadn't put much money out on it.

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I got engaged in 2005 and I called off the wedding about 6 months before. We were broke, in our 30s and paying for it ourselves. My fiancée kept pushing me to make the wedding bigger and bigger and inviting more and more people and he really went off the deep end and wouldn't listen to reason that we DID NOT HAVE THE MONEY to do this. But he wanted to impress his father who always thought he was a failure and kept insisting. It really showed me his true colors and how crazy he could be, and I broke off the engagement and I canceled everything.

My fiancée (boyfriend then I guess) and I lived together, we had been together 3 years. We stayed together for another year and a half after I broke off the engagement, but things were never the same and I left him in 2007.

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I don't think I've seen this one yet: emotional affair.

We were together for seven years, and were getting married in a few months. We'd already bought a house, and started tying our lives together. She was emotionally distant for some time, but I ignored it like a fool in love. Eventually, I noticed she was spending significant time chatting with a guy she met on World of Warcraft. She was also taking phone calls "from a friend" in private. I called her on it, and our wedding was off the next day.

We bought our house during the mortgage bubble, and now I'm stuck with an under-water mortgage on a house that's lost 50% of its value. I also still have the ring - it's been almost five years, and I'm still not sure what to do with it.

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Dated a girl for a while that did this. Turns out she was engaged to him but dating me. We were in university and he was at a different school. I found out when he called to say he was going to shoot me. I guess she'd gone home for the weekend, which really meant going to his school and ending things... and telling him about me. He didn't believe that I had no idea because she wouldn't do that on her own.

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My best friend was going out with his high school sweet heart for 10 years, they were 25 when they got engaged, they had both been each other's first. This guy did everything for her and she was sweet to him also but she was very flirteous and what not. One day my buddy comes over and tells me that his girlfriend is at a supper with some hockey players from the Tampa Bay Lightning, so I'm like "DUDE, hockey players are known to f**k everything that MOVES, arent you worried?" and he tells me that she is just there to wingwoman one of her friends. So the next day we are all at supper together and jokingly I ask my friends girlfriend "So does Brad Richards have a big d**k?" (my senseless humour was accepted and well appreciated by this group of friends) and she replies nervously with a laugh "Yeah, Willdill, it was HUGE". So we laugh about it and carry on. 3 months later, 1 week before their wedding day, she finally admits to him that she HAD slept with Brad Richards. She told him like this "You know when Willdill asked me about Brad Richards d**k? Well, I wasn't lying, I did sleep with him, I'm so sorry bla bla bla." Turns out after their little hockey player supper, they all went to the hotel and had a dildo fest with 2 other girls and 3 of the players. Needless to say my friend dumped her a*s and now hates hockey with a passion. 

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I called it off because I realized we weren't ready to make a marriage work. There are a number of skills that a couple **needs** to have before they can really succeed in a relationship that's meant to last a lifetime. These skills are pretty obvious; compromise, forgiveness, sacrifice, and an acceptance of the things you don't like but can never change. Shortly before the wedding I realized that we didn't have those skills. That made me extremely uncomfortable with the prospect of going through with it. And ultimately, I couldn't bring myself to start something that I knew couldn't last forever. The mistake we made was getting engaged before we *knew* we had those skills, before we were ready. We gave ourselves a long engagement with the idea that we'd have time to figure out those skills before the big day finally came. But we didn't realize that it put a timer on our relationship which essentially turned it into a time bomb. When the day came, we were either going to be ready or we were going to have a **very** bad time.

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My friend called it off because she realized her fiancé would be happy with anyone who wanted to marry him.

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You know that bridezilla show? Pretty much was like that. Yeah, this is a 'A friend of mine...' story, sorry. Well this bakery had a thing of not doing wedding cakes because the brides typically go apesh*t over them no matter how perfect they are and demand alterations on the very day of the wedding that have nothing to do with the original description of the cake. My friend's fiance though, she was friends with the owner of the bakery so she decided to make it just to be nice. Part of her gift for the wedding, a free cake. The bride went absolutely APESH*T over the cake. She was screaming and yelling and in tears over this cake. This was the day before, so the friend trying to be nice decided to REMAKE THE CAKE FROM SCRATCH AND GOT ZERO SLEEP THAT NIGHT WORKING ON IT. me, the bride and groom were in the bakery there to pick up the cake the next day and she just got so angry she picked it up and threw the cake over the counter where there were several customers, screaming her lungs out over how her friend ruined her wedding and how awful the cake was. She then turned to the groom and said 'What are we going to do about the wedding now?!' in which the groom responded with: "What wedding?" I wish I had a camera, holy f**k. They were both black and it was a black neighborhood so the store pretty much turned into an episode of maury or jerry springer.

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