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“Haven’t Spoken In 15 Years”: 50 People Reveal Why They Disowned Their Parents

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"All happy families are alike," Leo Tolstoy wrote. "Each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way." Picture-perfect families have parents who love their children unconditionally. Children who visit said parents regularly and do so because they want to. But not all families are perfect. A Cornell University survey revealed in 2020 that 6% of adults say they are estranged from their mothers, and 26% from their fathers.

Family estrangement is, sadly, quite common. But how does it happen? One Redditor was curious to know what made people cut contact with their parents. So they asked: "Those who disowned their parents, what was the final straw?" People had all sorts of stories to share. Some were heartbreaking, others eye-opening.

Bored Panda also got in touch with the person who asked this question. They were kind enough to have a short chat with us about what prompted them to ask other Redditors about their estrangement stories. Read our conversation below!

This post may include affiliate links.

#1

“Haven’t Spoken In 15 Years”: 50 People Reveal Why They Disowned Their Parents My mother likes to make me cry. I think it's a control thing, but she always denies it even happens. After going out of her way to make me break down for three birthdays in a row, I asked my father if, just for one year, I could avoid speaking to her for the day. Bear in mind, I live in a different country, so it would just be a case of me not picking up the phone when she called. My father went apes**t. Called me ungrateful, pathetic, a disappointment, etc. Then said his biggest regret was that my s****de attempt failed. All because I wanted a birthday where I didn't cry. I just hung up without saying a word. Blocked their numbers and email addresses, deleted all social media. It's been years, and I'm so grateful he said all those horrible things, because I finally realised how better my life is without them.

CrazySnekGirl , Alex Green / Pexels Report

Final score:

340points

Mike F 5 months ago

Sometimes you have to amputate the infected limb.

253points

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The Redditor who posed this question says that it came from their own bad experiences with their family. They decided to limit contact with their parents recently, and that's why they came to find some comfort on Reddit. "There is infighting I feel I'm getting dragged into," the netizen opened up.

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In our conversation, they recalled the most recent disagreement they had with their family. "[The] last time my family argued was when I did an interview for my [university magazine], and I just didn't want the drama anymore," the Redditor shared. According to them, the parents often favor their twin brother "who can do no wrong." That's why the Redditor feels like limiting contact is the best course of action for now

#2

“Haven’t Spoken In 15 Years”: 50 People Reveal Why They Disowned Their Parents My sibling died & in the days leading up to his funeral my mother was so exquisitely awful that I stopped fantasizing about harming her & began fantasizing about my life in prison after her m***er. At one point I was standing behind her at the top of a flight of stairs as she monologued about how everything was my fault. I could have pushed her but instead promised myself that after I made it through the funeral I’d never speak with her again. This year marks a decade since I last spoke with her & my only regret is not cutting her out of my life earlier.

ellysay , Pavel Danilyuk / Pexels Report

Final score:

284points

LakotaWolf (she/her) 5 months ago (edited)

I remember, after my father died in 2021 after being fully disabled/bedridden for over 20 years (he had an accident in 2000 and sustained catastrophic brain damage) my mother continually had the audacity to basically complain at how "her life was wasted" and "her life was ruined" now because "20 years of her life was just gone." I'd stand there staring at her in dumbfounded fury. I was 18 when my dad's accident happened. I stayed home and never moved out. I was his primary caregiver. I didn't finish college. I had NO life in my 20s and 30s. My mother was *56 YEARS OLD* when my dad's accident happened. At least she got to have a normal young adulthood. I did not, and neither did my sister, who was 24 when my dad's accident happened (she stayed living at home too to help.) OUR lives were "ruined" and "wasted". My mother had GOTTEN to have a life beforehand. It's made worse by the fact that my mother bailed on the day my dad died (I stayed) and still refuses to tell anyone that he died.

18points

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#3

“Haven’t Spoken In 15 Years”: 50 People Reveal Why They Disowned Their Parents Long and short, I was SA’d by uncles as a child, multiple occasion. Tons of rage issues because of it. Grew up in a single parent household with mom not in the picture. Fast forward, faced my demons to an extent, mended relationship with Mom. Opened up to brothers and sisters and finally mom about the SA, suddenly I’m lying, ive always been a liar since I was a child, “my brothers would never do a thing to hurt you!”

Straight up alienated by my family tree because said SA, ended the last convo with, “you didn’t protect me as a child, you won‘t protect/support me as an adult, and you won’t protect my children either. What use are you to me or any of us?“.

Taehcos , Engin Akyurt / Pexels Report

Final score:

254points

Pandemonium 5 months ago

You demonstrate a strength that I can not even imagine.

148points

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People who have difficult relationships with parents often imagine it would be a relief to cut contact. In this Redditor's case, they say it doesn't actually make them feel that much better. "I feel less pressure to be someone else but not better," they admit.

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At the moment, their way of dealing with the family drama is to keep busy. "I just throw myself into my studies and my friends," the netizen tells Bored Panda. They also find that reading similar stories helps, as they feel relatable and provide some perspective. "It made me realize parents aren't perfect," the Redditor says.

#4

“Haven’t Spoken In 15 Years”: 50 People Reveal Why They Disowned Their Parents I moved out when I was 16. Some of the things were for example I wasn't allowed in the house unless someone was home so I'd have to sit outside after school for 2-3 hours during Minnesota winters. Summer vacations were actually worse. We also lived 12 miles from the nearest town and was a very rural area. Only allowed to take 2 showers a week, 2 minutes long. Only allowed to eat diner because I was able to get free lunch from school.

These aren't even the big things or strangest things, just the day to day things. Like for example about once a week my father would make me pick up everything on the carpet. Lint, bits of grass, dog hair, etc. Wasn't allowed to use a vacuum, or anything, it had to be by hand. And if he saw anything anywhere I didn't get to eat. One chance, so he would just watch me while watching tv comb over every room looking for anything on the ground. This was also the only time I was allowed in the living room.

When I was 20 I decided I'm going to try having a relationship again at least with my mother and I went to stay with them for a few days. Again I wasn't allowed to be in the house while they were away, I had to stay in a shed and I couldn't have any of their food but I wasn't told about so I didn't bring any food. After a few days I left and never talked with them again.

That was about 25 years ago. I don't feel like I've missed out on anything of value. Oh and to add to this, I did have a brother who our father didn't do any of this to. They bought him clothes, gave him money, helped him get his first car, etc. So everything was very targeted towards me.

spytez , Ketut Subiyanto / Pexels Report

Final score:

229points

Marnie 5 months ago

Wow. As horrible as all these stories are, this is salt in the wound, to target just one child. I can't even imagine the additional harm that would be over and above the neglect and abuse.

117points

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#5

“Haven’t Spoken In 15 Years”: 50 People Reveal Why They Disowned Their Parents I didn't want to be a scientologist anymore. Raised from birth to believe that b******t. Took me like 20 years to get my head straight.

Grandeftw , Joshua Santos / Pexels Report

Final score:

208points

Wendy Crow 5 months ago

Glad you got out.

104points

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#6

When I was looking at bridal gowns, I found myself looking at shapeless, full coverage dresses because I didn't want my dad acting all creepy and handsy/ make gross comments about my appearance. The thought of him walking me down the aisle made me nauseous. Then I thought "wtf, just don't invite him." And I didn't. My now husband and I walked down the aisle together. Haven't spoken to my dad since 2019 and my life has never been better.

ShlugLove Report

Final score:

203points

Costco card 5 months ago

Ew.

84points

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In a previous interview for Bored Panda, Clinical Psychologist and Family Estrangement Expert Karl Melvin explained that cutting off family members is taboo for some people because society at large considers family deeply important. That's why even extended family members might pressure people to reconcile.

But that can only have the opposite effect. "Many estranged people feel the need to hold onto the past to mitigate against bowing to any pressure," Melvin explained. "A reconciliation is a deeply personal choice; a forced or pressurized reconciliation may do more harm than good."

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"Part of the challenge is understanding that not everyone has the same concept of what reconciliation is," he added. "Some view it as a continuation of the old relationship as opposed to a genuine effort to reflect on mistakes made and work toward creating a more respectful and healthier relationship."

#7

“Haven’t Spoken In 15 Years”: 50 People Reveal Why They Disowned Their Parents Mother was career-oriented. I traveled 15 hours by Greyhound bus back to Illinois to help her finish up some roofing jobs still incomplete. She intentionally got in a fight with me at the bus station after the jobs were done, didn’t get me a ticket back, and ghosted me on $2,500. I had maybe $30 to my name at the time. Then she shut off my cell phone immediately after driving away. Had to walk about five miles to a friends house. He and a few of my other friends drove me back down to Alabama that night. Never spoke to her again.

missuz-featherbottom , Immo Wegmann / Unsplash Report

Final score:

202points

Sonia J-Coffee 5 months ago

Well done

60points

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#8

Mom got arrested for child neglect and animal cruelty.

spectroliteskies Report

Final score:

201points

StrangeOne 5 months ago

This should be higher. That's a damn good excuse to go no contact forever.

74points

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#9

“Haven’t Spoken In 15 Years”: 50 People Reveal Why They Disowned Their Parents My mom was dying of cancer. She had a restraining order against my father. Father finds her, and tries to marry her (metastatic brain tumor meant she was pretty gone the last six weeks). We block it as my brother and I are medical power of attorney, but do let him see her in hospice as an act of good faith.

I get a call from hospice the morning of her passing telling us to get over ASAP, she's going. We miss her passing by minutes because my father decided to yell at my brother for half an hour because my brother had locked the door to his bedroom the night before. Father does not come with us to hospice. When we call him to see how involved he wants to be with funeral stuff, he takes off with her documents, cards, and phone, then pretends to be her online for days, telling her family to contact him "for the real story".

I was 22 and my brother was 19 when this all happened. That was the final act that made me go from "maybe in a couple years we'll have a relationship where at least I call him once every few months" to "I cannot have this man in my life." He continued to escalate after that, but that day was the point of no return.

ShinigamiLeaf , Pixabay / Pexels Report

Final score:

180points

Marnie 5 months ago

That's so insane, I don't even have words for it.

67points

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#10

“Haven’t Spoken In 15 Years”: 50 People Reveal Why They Disowned Their Parents She stole my student loan money. I worked so hard to get into college and have a full scholarship, and she stole my room and board and book money. It made the first year of college damn near impossible, which kinda set the tone for the next 3.

am_riley , cottonbro studio / Pexels Report

Final score:

173points

Wendy Crow 5 months ago

Fraud. Should have been reported for fraud.

145points

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#11

It was a slow burn.

When I was younger, my mother could be very charming and ‘loving’, with intermittent bursts of physical and emotional abuse. As I got older, that ratio flipped, and I started reading up on personality disorders. My wife and I came to realize that we’d both grown up with toxic narcissists as mothers, enabled by weak fathers who wanted to placate the crazy person and keep their own situation calm, even at the expense of their children.

A few years after we married, my MIL left hours of recorded messages on our answering service. She filled our mailbox with rants about hoping we would lose our business and that I would die. My wife went no contact with her parents, and her life began to improve significantly.

It was another 20 before we would do that with mine, but my mom went down the conservative rabbit hole, which had a multiplier effect on her ugliness. We parted ways for 9 years and reaped the benefits of a drama-free life.

Then, a year before they died, I got a call saying they would become wards of the state unless I became their conservator. They had allowed a live-in caregiver to get overly involved in their affairs. I decided to suck it up and make sure they were well cared for and could remain in their home. By this time, unbeknownst to me, my mother had dementia and my father, an avid reader, had lost his eyesight.

Surprisingly, taking care of them at the end was a great experience. My mom’s narcissism disappeared with the dementia, and she became charming and funny as hell. My dad became loving and apologetic. I think he was surprised I’d step up to the plate after all that happened.

Nevertheless, I have no regrets about going NC with any of them. Whoever said blood is thicker than water is full of s**t—family is where some of the deepest hurt comes from.

spoonman-of-alcatraz Report

Final score:

162points

R.A. Haley 5 months ago

I have heard that the actual saying is: "The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb." Meaning that your friends will stick by you when family won't. That applies here, for sure.

120points

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#12

“Haven’t Spoken In 15 Years”: 50 People Reveal Why They Disowned Their Parents After telling them I was getting divorced. They told me 1) My ex would always be their son and that they loved him more than me (to be fair they did try to back track and say they loved us both) 2) That no one else would ever love me and I'd realise I was ruining my life when I died alone 3) They only loved me becuase the bible said they had to 4) That they were writing me out of their will, and leaving it to my ex, because this was proof I was mentally unstable and once I'd come to my senses and gone back to him it would be mine anyway.

They were emotionally abusive my whole life but I kept going back and making excuses for them, not helped because my ex was abusive too. It's easy to believe you deserve to be treated badly when it's all people are telling you. Eventually I realised that I deserve to be happy and I just couldn't do that while continuing a relationship with them. They're never going to change, I think they honestly believe they're saying these things out of love and have no awareness of how they've hurt me.

Ruannbram , cottonbro studio / Pexels Report

Final score:

161points

Wendy Crow 5 months ago

I wouldn't want the parents money or estate anyway. It is tainted.

67points

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#13

Jehovahs Witnesses who abused and manipulated me and coerced me into marrying a JW man when I had just turned 17. Wouldn’t accept my choice to marry a good guy outside of the religion despite him stepping up and being an amazing father to the kids I had with my ex husband who was extremely abusive and then abandoned them.

Lots of sexual abuse growing up that they never reported and made me feel responsible for.

I developed PTSD and the only way for me to improve my mental health was to cut them out completely.

Final score:

154points

Mike F 5 months ago

This whole post is disturbing.

83points

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#14

Every time she called me, I’d vomit from anxiety. Even if it was simple and not abusive, she would ruin my day completely. Even just seeing that I had a message after class would send me into a spiral.

The three most important people in my life came to me and were like, ‘we really can’t let this keep happening.’

One of them was my best friend’s mom and she told me, without mentioning my own mom, a story about how when she was pregnant with my best friend, she started to have trouble with her pregnancy thanks to the anxiety her mom was giving her. She told me she realized she was either going to lose her baby or lose her mother, and she decided she could stand to lose her past but couldn’t lose her future. She just kind of laid it out without even commenting on my situation. And it worked.

That was almost 15 years ago and I’ve never regretted cutting off contact.

samwisesamgee Report

Final score:

150points

Costco card 5 months ago

That's a really sweet and loving way of putting it

91points

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#15

“Haven’t Spoken In 15 Years”: 50 People Reveal Why They Disowned Their Parents I had a kid and realized I didn't want them having any influence in her life. Their influence on mine was bad enough.

FixedLoad , Kristina Paukshtite / Pexels Report

Final score:

148points

StrangeOne 5 months ago

This is one advantage of waiting to have kids when you're older than when you're younger and more dependant on your possibly abusive parents.

45points

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#16

My parents were born into a cult. I was born into it also. At age 10, because I got my period I was given to a 34 year old male to be his 3rd wife. I was almost 13 when I was basically kidnapped from that cult and taken to an ex cult members house to live.

Was deprogrammed,tried to end my own life when I was 16 bc of what I went through. I'm still alive. I'll be 50 this year. I don't know if my parents or if any of my siblings are even alive.

lika-kiki-no Report

Final score:

148points

DC 5 months ago

Religion at its core ability. If there was any peacefulness in religion, wouldn't its extremists be the most peaceful people around? Would there be any honesty in religion, wouldn't its extremists be the most honest people around? Would there be any logic in religion, wouldn't ... ? - continue with everything you value about a person, and see if any of it ... well, "dedication" will be the one exception, huh? Where extremists truly have the most of. "Obedience", I wouldn't want to call a positive personality trait, ...

31points

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#17

“Haven’t Spoken In 15 Years”: 50 People Reveal Why They Disowned Their Parents It was relatively small, when I stand back & look, but it was clear that our relationship was always going to be me (& everyone else) upending my life so he could do nothing at all.

The final-final straw was a request for me to attend an appointment that would mean a ~1.5 hour bus ride each direction, missing classes, missing work + make my own arrangement to stay somewhere overnight (I couldn't stay in my parents' home unless I slept in a sleeping bag on the floor somewhere & I didn't own a sleeping bag) all so my father could play Happy Family in public. Again.

I didn't get on the bus. I went to class. I had a bad day at work. Then I slept in my own bed.

I didn't mean it to be forever but I realized while my work day was tanking, I would still rather be doing that than pretending to be a Happy Family.

Everyday since has been better than it would be if he were in my life. He made good days miserable & bad days hell.

schnitzeldehuahua , fauxels / Pexels Report

Final score:

142points

Jay Scales 5 months ago

Good for you

34points

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#18

I'm NC, going on 2 years and plan is forever.

Abuse. Coming to terms with the physical, emotional abuse they put me through.

Then they just turned crazy when they found religion and Trump is their messiah.

To name one of the many things:

My step mom was jealous of me because I had bigger boobs than her. I started to develop early. I got my 1st period a week after my 8th bday. Anyway - her jealousy extended to accusing me of trying to seduce my dad and s**t for my dad. I had to wear layers of clothes to help hide my boobs. Like think 4 layers. Very uncomfortable. Anyway, it got to a head one day after years of accusing me of being a whore for my dad she turned it on him and accused him..so what did my dad do? Beat the ever living s**t out of me screaming "I'm not your boyfriend" the entire time. My step mom also made my dad pay for a boob job because "no child of hers will have bigger boobs than her"

Again. One of the many fk up things.

bluegumgum Report

Final score:

134points

Costco card 5 months ago

What the fck????

100points

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#19

“Haven’t Spoken In 15 Years”: 50 People Reveal Why They Disowned Their Parents My mother gave me a long speech about the morality of being a lesbian a couple of days before I (a woman) got married to my wife. She's pretty high up on her horse for a d**g addict who stole from me.

Lulu_42 , Thirdman / Pexels Report

Final score:

125points

Costco card 5 months ago

Little off topic but happy pride!! 🏳️‍🌈😁

84points

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#20

“Haven’t Spoken In 15 Years”: 50 People Reveal Why They Disowned Their Parents I wouldn't say disowned, but certainly ghosted.

My mother died when I was in college. It was horrible seeing her in hospital, skin yellow from jaundice, slowly succumbing to alcoholism.

My father was a hard core drinker too. He could hold his liquor better, but every night my parents would get wasted, and it was never a fun thing to be around. Being a kid growing up, you could only communicate with them in the morning when they were sober. In the evenings, I would stay in my room.

As an adult with a full realization of how my father treated me growing up - not really close, not available as a parent, occasional beatings with a belt, no acknowledgement of his faults or lack of initiative in helping my mother, I decided to ghost him.

For the last 20 years of his life, I had no communication with him. He died a sad, pathetic man who had no self awareness of the pain inflicted.

I have no regrets at all.

ItsJustCrabs , Sofia Alejandra / Pexels Report

Final score:

123points

Ephemera Image 5 months ago

People make their choices in their lives. He chose booze. They always do. The sooner they are gone from your life, the better. There should absolutely never be any guilt about this.

23points

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#21

After 50+ years of crazy, I decided I would prefer to have a peaceful life built on my own terms.

Just because I am their kid doesn't mean I have a lifetime obligation to participate in their insanity.

sunnyzombie Report

Final score:

120points

"Disembodied voice" 5 months ago

Blood doesn't mean anything, if they're toxic... cut them out. It can be hard but it feels better later on.

38points

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#22

When my dad said he didn’t blame
my brother at all for trying to stab me… that was the final straw for me…
Going on 18 years of no contact. Don’t see it ever changing.

Final score:

115points

nm (he/him) 5 months ago

We need more details on this story.

20points

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#23

“Haven’t Spoken In 15 Years”: 50 People Reveal Why They Disowned Their Parents It was a long process, but it really ended when my mom tried to sue my wife and me for "grandparents' rights." Anything after that would've only helped her to build a case to legally kidnap our son.

David_Felder , Sora Shimazaki / Pexels Report

Final score:

108points

Wendy Crow 5 months ago

This idea of grandparents rights is unreasonable and should never ever be a thing let alone legal.

94points

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#24

“Haven’t Spoken In 15 Years”: 50 People Reveal Why They Disowned Their Parents Parents got divorced between 12-14. During that period my dad became an evangelical Christian. All of the sudden, everything revolved around god and jesus. This continued until he moved to the US when I was 18 because “America is doing the lords work.” He completely ghosted his 2 teenage children and started a new “Christian family.”

He came to visit one time. He never met his 3 grandchildren and died in 2022. It had been 17 years since I had seen him. I did not go to the funeral because, to me, he had been dead a long time. .

Musclecar123 , Pixabay / Pexels Report

Final score:

108points

Costco card 5 months ago

Not very "perfect Christian" of him

59points

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#25

“Haven’t Spoken In 15 Years”: 50 People Reveal Why They Disowned Their Parents It was a long time coming. But the straw that broke the camels back was berating me for not coming to a family function when I told my father that I had something that was completely unskippable at work. I had been abused by my father for years, his way of getting back at me for my mother leaving him I suppose. I just lost it at him and told him what I thought of him. I haven’t spoken to him or his family that all took his side every single time in 15 years.

zelda_slayer , Andrea Piacquadio / Pexels Report

Final score:

106points

Fox with a Dragon Tattoo 5 months ago

Can only imagine how good it felt to lay into him and then severe all ties.

21points

#26

Dad pulled a loaded gun on me, haven’t talked to him since. I’ve heard he’s died since then and could care less.

smallboxofcrayons Report

Final score:

106points

Michael Largey 5 months ago

If I were the OP, I'd feel a bit safer at least.

49points

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#27

Constantly trying to get me to divorce my wife whom Ive been with for 15 years. She (my wife) has BPD, and is recovering from a very traumatic childhood. I understand this, and support her even on the tough days. My parents think she's "a psycho", and not worth my time, despite the fact that Im happiest around her, and we work very hard on our relationship despite our personal problems/flaws. Parents see it as, "she's broken, dump her". Which is horrible. Im proud of how far my wife has come in the years we've been together, and when my parents gave me a "her or us" choice, I stopped talking to them.

onionleekdude Report

Final score:

102points

Michael Largey 5 months ago

OP took parents advice and abandoned the broken.

88points

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#28

“Haven’t Spoken In 15 Years”: 50 People Reveal Why They Disowned Their Parents For me, it was a respect issue. I was pregnant with my first, and I know that miscarriages happen more frequently than people know, and I told my mom to not tell anyone. Not even her family, no one. I couldn’t have stressed that enough, and I told her my reasons. Well, she disrespected that and told literally everyone. That was it for me, it was just the last straw and I had enough.

sifrult , Leah Newhouse / Pexels Report

Final score:

100points

StrangeOne 5 months ago

This is something I know my mom would do. I kept my pregnancy hidden until the 4th month, just to be sure.

37points

Sparkysheep 4 months ago

Same. When I was a kid I told my mom that I had a crush on a boy and told her to keep it secret. A few hours later, my uncle on my dad's side was asking about my "new boyfriend"

0points

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Boop the Snoot. Pound the Paw. 5 months ago

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Hey! 5 months ago (edited)

When I had my 2nd miscarriage (I already had 3 living children), my father said to stop because we weren't animals. Edit: corrected plural

7points

LakotaWolf (she/her) 5 months ago

::hugs:: I am so sorry for the loss of your children.

6points

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Katie Lutesinger 5 months ago

When I was born a family member went and spilled the beans about two seconds after I took my first breath. I'm pretty sure my mother still hasn't forgiven her for that, and I don't blame her.

4points

Sophia L. 5 months ago

My mother in law didn't even tell her other son that I was pregnant, until my husband and I gave her the okay (we only wanted to tell out parents before the 12 weeks). Surprisingly, even my own parents kept it a secret. When my father would mention his grandchildren, we would always say he has eight, until we had given them the okay to tell people.

1point

Laserleader 5 months ago (edited)

According to my research, about 30% of all pregnancy fails in the first trimester, often without the knowledge of the woman. Those who have higher pregnancy risk factors, like diabetes, type O- blood, Polycycstic Ovarian, Cancer, and a thousand other conditions have chance of death for mother as well. Telling everyone is disgusting, and when my family did it, knowing exactly what I was going through, I realized who was the real horrible people I now block

0points

Beachbum 5 months ago

Wow, doesn’t take much to make you go off. Mom can’t keep a secret? Don’t tell her. Wonder just how perfect you are. 🙄

-1point

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#29

“Haven’t Spoken In 15 Years”: 50 People Reveal Why They Disowned Their Parents When they threatened to ruin my job and prevent my employment by lying and staged an intervention to coerce me into corroborating their BS. No contact going on 7 years and it’s never been better.

CanidSapien , Andrea Piacquadio / Pexels Report

Final score:

94points

Christi Brown 5 months ago

Thats unhinged and bizarre

3points

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#30

After going no contact several times, it was finally when my dad died and I had to fly across the country and I left my kids with my mother she told them I abandoned them and then kidnapped my oldest and left her in another state with another family member. Haven’t spoken to her in almost 3 years, it’s very nice.

iamfuegomego Report

Final score:

93points

Amy Pontious 5 months ago

What that's F*couple!

22points

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#31

Generational trauma and religious trauma are two of the largest factors why I had a poor relationship with my parents, with constantly having to keep up appearances/facades and never feeling like I'm enough for them coming in at a close second, not to mention the clear lack of respect for my time and space over and over again. Me coming out released quite the backlash from them ("you have brought great dishonor to your family and made a nightmare for your mother..." and so on), messaging me once a week or so to berate me for it, so once this happened, I changed my legal name, changed all my documents, dropped off my old phone wiped at their house, and noped out.

calculator32 Report

Final score:

92points

Alexandra 5 months ago

You did the right thing.

31points

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#32

I caught them extorting money from my handicapped aunt. 3 months into becoming a new father I had to also become the legal guardian of my aunt because my parents had successfully bled a third of her life savings and were going for the rest. It took that really horrible act for me to finally admit how evil they were and pull the plug.

Final score:

91points

Blue Flower 5 months ago

I hope you reported them to the proper authorities and had them arrested for extortion and theft and had them pay the money back with interest as part of their restitution.

31points

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#33

My father, he physically and verbally abused my sister and I when we were kids. We got taken away and put into foster care finally our mom was found and we went with her.

For a couple of years after I wanted nothing to do with my father but around 10 years old I was like why not, i had gone into therapy and I started to talk to him again. For the next 20 years I did everything I could to have him be a part of my life. I was always calling, emailing, sending messages arranging for us to see each other( he was military moved around a lot) and he probably reached out first less than five times. If I didn't message/ call him first we could go months without communicating.

What finally did it for me was when I became a mom. I would do anything for them, protect them, I could never imagine hurting my children. It really got me thinking about my relationship with my father and I realized I how s****y he is, yes I forgave him for everything but did he do anything to deserve that? Big f*****g no!

I wrote him a long a*s message told him how I felt and he responded but it was all b******t. It's been two years now since we have talked and I wish I had done it sooner.

hey_girl_hey516 Report

Final score:

86points

and_a_touch_of_the_’tism 5 months ago

Just a reminder that if this is too much you can click off. You’re all wonderful, I hope you have a great day. 🙂

16points

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#34

“Haven’t Spoken In 15 Years”: 50 People Reveal Why They Disowned Their Parents There truly wasn’t one. It just was so much, for so long that I just stopped. My mom was too proud ever to call me because in her head, she deserved to be called. My father chose to cut me out of his life when my wife asked him not to wear shoes in the house.

IAmReallyThurston , Engin Akyurt / Pexels Report

Final score:

82points

"Disembodied voice" 5 months ago

Outside shoes inside is gross.

39points

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#35

We told my mom she needed to address her behavior and offer a sincere apology. I knew she was going to try to sweep her behavior under the rug by "having a medical emergency" and going to the hospital. She texted my husband one night and told him she thought she broke her foot and asked for a ride to the hospital (she was fine). I warned him that she was trying to manipulate us and told him to be on guard. She tried to give a half-assed apology and he cut her off and told her it wasn't an appropriate time, that she could apologize when it wasn't late at night and they weren't going to the hospital. The next day she texted my husband something like, "I apologized, can I see my grandkids now?" He reiterated that she needed to offer a sincere apology and addres her behavior. An hour and a half later, a police officer knocked on our door because she called the cops for a wellness check on our kids. Nope. Not putting up with that, we were done.

It's been two and a half years since then and they have been the most peaceful years of my life.

Also, everyone acted like I was psychic when I predicted that the next thing that she would do was go to the hospital for no reason. It doesn't take a psychic to predict that someone who regularly used going to the hospital as a way to get attention was going to continue that trend.

DistractedHouseWitch Report

Final score:

82points

30ninjazinmybag 5 months ago

Classic case of manipulation to get out of an apology but to then call the cops yeah I'd nope out too.

22points

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#36

He went through my stuff without asking then continued to s**t talk me to my mom, who proceeded to not stand up for me.

As for the contents of my stuff, it was a bunch of religious books he really did NOT like as a devout Catholic. I was just beginning my anthropology studies.

But today I'm an anthropologist :).

musthavelamp Report

Final score:

82points

nancthetank 5 months ago

Good for you!

36points

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#37

It was more of a long haul. As I matured as a person I began to realise that I couldn't let my mother keep affecting my mental health with her narcissistic abuse. It was hard to walk away but would have been much harder to keep putting up with her abuse.

SadMarzipan7445 Report

Final score:

81points

"Disembodied voice" 5 months ago

I honestly felt something similar with my father. He was manipulative, tried to turn me and my siblings against each other and our mom. Doing better without him.

26points

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#38

My mom had an affair behind my dad's back and they divorced. I tried to be there for both until my mom started talking about living with her permanently, meeting her new man and pretty much cutting my dad off. That wasn't gonna happen but I still tried to be around. I found out she was doing coke a little while after that. Okay, whatever. I can forgive that. She started asking me, a 14 year old at the time for money I didn't have. Soon it became less about actually giving a s**t about me and more about the child support checks she'd receive if I took her side. I walked in on my dad, drunk as hell, loaded gun on the table sobbing after I came home from my mom's one weekend. After seeing that and how badly it tore my dad apart and how little my mom gave a f**k I decided to cut her off right there. It's been almost 15 years since I've talked to her. I don't regret my decision.

CharliesTarantulas Report

Final score:

81points

Marnie 5 months ago

Wow, and I hope your Dad is doing better, too.

61points

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#39

My father abandoned my mom and I when I was 2. Divorced her long distance when I was 6. When I was 30 I found him and we began talking, he told me about a brother I had and made it seem like I was part of a family, when we talked on the phone he was always telling me stories about my brother. After about 6 months I realized he had never let me actually meet or talk to my brother and I suspected he never talked to my sibling about me. He got mad and said that was hurtful but eventually admitted it to be true. My sibling had grown to his early 20s without knowing I existed and father gets mad at me. He had hidden his entire first marriage and kid from his second family their whole life. Eventually I met them and we have a good relationship but he never spoke to me again because calling him out on his lies was “ the most venomous thing he ever experienced “. He was a life long educator and when he died I wasn’t even named in the obituary BUT it does say how he spent his whole life “helping kids”… you know, except his own kid.

Schmed_lap Report

Final score:

78points

Cindy Brick 5 months ago

I know how this feels. When my blood father died, all of his 12 or so kids were listed -- except me. I wrote a letter to the oldest son, saying that I did exist. Met him later on, and he told me I was fortunate -- that living with his father was very very difficult.

42points

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#40

My "dad" and I were already arguing (via messenger)after he said "answer me!" regarding a question he asked about my mom that was none of his business. Long story shortish: During our argument I somehow ended up bringing up how he picked on me mercilessly when I was a teen and forced me to hide my face any time I watched TV with the family so he wouldn't have to see me twitch because I have tourette syndrome. His only response was that I do not have tourettes. That was one of the worst times of my life and it really made me ask why the fk I should even bother keeping in contact with him, so now I don't. Apologies for the run on sentences.

Flimsy-Sleep3180 Report

Final score:

74points

LakotaWolf (she/her) 5 months ago

How absolutely awful. OP cannot help Tourette Syndrome tics. My dad had it and was so ashamed of it (he was born in the 40s.) Even as a young child I knew how much it bothered him, and I once asked him to be a parent chaperone on a class field trip. He said he didn't want to embarrass me in front of my classmates. I told him that I wasn't embarrassed of him or his tics at all. If a CHILD can tell a parent that, how DARE a parent mock their CHILD for a disorder that they cannot help or control?

51points

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#41

The situation with my abusive parent got to the point where I was so depressed and at the end of my rope, that i was very, very close to ending everything. At that point, I had no choice but to walk away, or end up six feet under. My only regret is waiting until my late 40s to finally walk away. Wish I had the courage to do it 30 years earlier.

bugabooandtwo Report

Final score:

73points

tee-lena 5 months ago

You're free now. That's most important. Gentle hugs

34points

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#42

My mom walked out on my dad and me when I was five. From the time she left I longed for her love and affection; my dad was a stand-up guy but not the emotionally nurturing type.

My mom ended up marrying her affair partner who was a d**k (he abandoned his own wife and kids for her and never wanted me around), and she strung me along for 20 years with tiny dribbles of attention, occasional short visits and phone calls where she'd act sad that we weren't closer.

After her husband died the phone calls became more frequent and she'd say all of these careless extremely hurtful things, or she'd be drunk and crying about how she missed me. The calls were incredibly painful to sit through. Every time we'd hang up after talking I'd just break down and cry for the relationship I wish we'd had and the need for a mom's love that never went away.

A lot of bad s**t happened to me over the years and I always knew that it could have all been a lot easier to get through if I had a mom who cared and supported me, someone to listen to me and help me through things.

The tipping point came at my wedding. We had a small beach wedding, and my mom decided to show up and play mother of the bride, a title she was definitely not worthy of. She insinuated herself into special gestures that were aimed at my partner's mom and my stepmom which really pissed me off.

After the wedding and honeymoon. and I sent her a letter telling her I just didn't want to talk to her anymore. I listed a bunch of the s****y things she'd done and ways she'd let me down. I told her that she had made me terrified to have kids of my own because I didn't know the first thing about being a good mom, or that I'd abandon them like she did to me. I told her that it was just too painful having her in my life.

It's been over 20 years and I'm at peace with that decision.

totallybree Report

Final score:

71points

Alexandra 5 months ago

Rightly so.

20points

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#43

My dad had contacted me about 3 times by the time I was 15. he realized he might die soon and got in contact with my brothers and I like nothing happened & my brothers took him back very kindly. I did not, he eventually started continuously asking for money & acting like he had part in my our upbringing. they finally cut him off as well.
tbh its me being petty, my dad has about 6 kids and im the only girl. I like to think that his only daughter never talking to him was the karma for all he’s done.

Existing-System-8536 Report

Final score:

68points

Not Who You Think 5 months ago

I'm glad you were smart enough to figure out what your brothers initially could not. And I'm glad they woke up and cut him off, too. Even if you feel like you did it to be petty, it's most likely the best decision you could have made under those circumstances.

13points

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#44

Condemned me to hell for being a disobedient daughter. The last thing he told me on the phone was that he disowned me. All because I didn't agree to help him bilk the government for disability benefits. It's been over 10 years. I hope he regrets being a lonely old man but I don't think narcissists regret anything.

salamsfrmsdca Report

Final score:

68points

LakotaWolf (she/her) 5 months ago

They always manage to put the blame on everyone else. Your adult child won't talk to you? It's not YOUR fault, it's THEIRS! (I live this every day with my mom.)

24points

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#45

I was venting to my mother that my ex was driving his gf and my kids around so drunk my child told the younger child to make sure his seat belt was on correctly because the ex was so drunk they were repeatedly veering into the oncoming lane. I was also venting that now the ex moved the gf in after the kids meeting her once as "just a friend" they altered my preteens bedtime to 9pm so they could f**k so loudly my kids said it seemed like they were purposely putting on a show.

My mother had the nerve to say I sounded jealous.

The ex was abusive to me and the kids during the marriage and since the divorce became more abusive, angry and unhinged. About a week after she said that to me, the ex left a significant bruise and I wound up with full custody.

I'm still pissed about it.

SilverMcFly Report

Final score:

67points

MissMePhoenix 5 months ago (edited)

Glad you got full custody, but ex should have his testicles (if they can be found) removed through his a**s. THROUGH HIS A N U S. FÙCK YOU BP ÀNUS IS AN ANATOMICALLY CORRECT TERM!!!

28points

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#46

My sister said something horrible to me and my mother insisted I apologize for causing her stress. We were in our 30s at that point and I just left. Been over a year and I haven’t spoken to either of them.

reflectorvest Report

Final score:

61points

LakotaWolf (she/her) 5 months ago

I remember once when I was a very small child (single digit age), my older sister and I had an argument about something childish and stupid (can't remember what.) When my mom drove us to school that day, she dropped my sister off first and told me to kiss my sister goodbye. When I refused, my mom twisted around in her seat, grabbed me by the hair, and pulled me between the front seats onto the center console and screamed at me to kiss my sister goodbye or else she'd kill me. (Late 80s, no mandatory seatbelt-wearing in my state at the time, which is why my mom could pull me from the back seat to the front seats.) I kissed my sister goodbye. I have never forgotten this. I'm adopted and my sister is my parents' biological child. My sister is very much the golden child. She still is.

45points

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#47

“Haven’t Spoken In 15 Years”: 50 People Reveal Why They Disowned Their Parents My dad was always a functional alcoholic and hit retirement about 6 years ago. I knew this was going to be his downfall with having nothing better to do. I stopped calling him after 3pm because talking to him was impossible. That slowly became a noon cutoff, and then I just couldn't handle it.

I have a half sister that he doesn't claim and has had nothing to do with for 40 years. She connected with family via one of those DNA sites, and my dad didn't believe it. He made up a story that they needed to do a paternity test on a 45 year old to properly set up his will. Then he was so drunk he misread the results and called her telling her he's not her father. Mind you, this was all because my cousins asked if she would like to come to a family reunion and meet them.

I told him he needs to get help and apologize....he told me he didn't care if he ever talked to me again. I cut off communication then, and it's been about 2 years.

It really sucks because I miss my dad, but I just try to remember him as when I was younger.

booger_pile , cottonbro studio / Pexels Report

Final score:

60points

Mike F 5 months ago

But the person he was when the OP was younger is a person he'll never be again. This is from someone who missed a whole lot of years due to alcohol. When we allow it to become our "family" there's no undoing what's done. Even getting sober and turning your life back around you can't unring the bell, and no amount of apologies will remove the pain from the eyes of those they've hurt. Been there.

33points

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#48

Boyfriends family but I feel the effects…. Took boyfriends brothers side over his daughter (the granddaughter) over SA allegations, grandma made granddaughter call her abuser and look at pictures of him to try and convince her she was wrong - haven’t spoken a word to them since.

Cinder_zella Report

Final score:

54points

DC 5 months ago

He in jail?

20points

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#49

I am going through a mental health struggle at the moment. My mother thought the best way to support me through that was to get blind drunk and act like a petulant toddler.

She's in her 50's, but has never acted like an adult or a supportive parent. I couldn't take being the 'adult' in our dynamic anymore. I needed my mum. She let me down.

DandeSat Report

Final score:

54points

Kerry Borthwick 5 months ago

I have mental health battles too it's hard instead of me cutting off my parents I had to do it to my twin sisters as they have tried to kill me since I was born and even as a adult I still wished them happy birthday and praying I'd get acceptance but this year is the end of it

9points

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#50

It added up over time- just chaotic and disrespectful. I asked myself WHY I was suffering through this relationship when it was taking a serious toll on my mental well-being. I decided one day that I was done. I still ache for that figure in my life (not him), and I’m sad that I never got the Father I needed and that we all deserve- a soft place to land, someone who builds you up instead of tearing you down, someone who tells you everyday that you are enough and you deserve to be loved just as you are.

Imtifflish24 Report

Final score:

52points

Alexandra 5 months ago

I'm sorry you didn't have a father like that in your life. Having a good father can make all the difference, sometimes the difference between life and death. Maybe I'm being politically incorrect for saying this, but I think it's sad that many men consider fatherhood more of a burden than anything else.

15points

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#51

It was a long process but my mother had borderline personality. She decided that I had wronged her in some way so she came to my apartment at 3 AM banging on the door to present me with a bill for my upbringing. I called the cops on her for trespassing and I just decided I was done.

castironskilletmilk Report

Final score:

27points

Michael Largey 5 months ago

Send her a bill for being her child. Charge at least minimum wage - 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. You never signed up for the position.

16points

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#52

It's a lot of things mixed together, but the final straw I think is when you finally realize and accept that they are who they are without remorse and they will probably never change.

Final score:

25points

Headless Horseman 5 months ago

Ohhh this one hurt me. It was a good hurt, I needed to hear that again.

3points

#53

I was in recovery for alcohol, my brother is a drunk and she’s the enabler. The final straw was me asking her to come celebrate my two years sobriety and her suggesting a brewery. I asked if she had considered why I wouldn’t like going there since every item was alcohol themed and she cried about how she just “never gets things right and doesn’t understand why I hate her so much.” So I told her to get therapy and that we were no longer speaking. This is a pattern of hers where she’s the victim after thoughtfully composing a plan that would hurt me but make her look like a doting mother.

This is after she so lovingly moved an adult addict into our home when I was 14 and made me live with that person stealing and verbally assaulting me for years. She has picked him repeatedly.

Aprikoosi_flex Report

Final score:

25points

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#54

Nothing too dramatic. I simply messaged her and was ignored. After wracking my brain for any perceived slight I would have to grovel for I just…let it go. I simply told myself that if she needed anything or had an issue to discuss with me, she could reach out. Never heard from her again. I heard later from a sibling that after she missed the stream of my wedding, she told everyone I changed the time of MY WEDDING to spite her lmao.

ItsmeNikki_ Report

Final score:

24points

#55

Taking my kid out and trying to indoctrinate her into Q-Anon. The other mother lost her mind hears voices and cut my kids hair without asking which caused a f**k ton of drama. The mothers in my life kept putting my kids at risk. I didn’t want such strong boundaries, but I got tired of trying to fix them.

findingems Report

Final score:

23points

Lyn Moffett 5 months ago

Sorry to ask but what is Q-Anon

4points

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#56

Does an evil, wicked, narcissistic, selfish, maniacal, manipulative "grandmother" count. B***h was damaging to the entire family from the moment my mom was born. She would often tell her that she was a mistake. After the evil witch got released from hospital after having hip surgery, and ONLY because my mom asked to give her one more chance, i was there helping her with some chores due to her being immobile (she milked being taken care of) told me I was a terrible person, I told her there is a very special place in hell for people like her and that was that. The day she died, I felt nothing for her and relief for my mom not having to deal with POS.

Final score:

23points

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#57

TL;DR: I stopped speaking to my mom, my only living parent, when I found out she had been trying to prevent me marrying my now wife, not because she thought the marriage would be bad for me but because my mom hadn't been invited to the wedding (we eloped instead).

After we announced we were getting married, and that we were having a courthouse wedding with only the two required witnesses (which would be very close friends, no family), my mom would routinely call me with a reason why I shouldn't marry my fiancée. They were for all insulting reasons, such as my fiancée was a gold digger, or had mental health problems, or was just using me to get permanent residency (I'm a limey, my wife is a yank). On each call I argued against my mom, she would start crying when she realised I wasn't going to change my mind and then end the call.

We got married (it was perfect), then had a wedding reception in the UK for all British friends and family and a second reception in the US for everyone there. At the UK reception my mon turned up very late, enough that everyone in the room noticed her arrival, she basically didn't talk to my wife or me but otherwise didn't cause a scene.

It was about a year or so of being married, when I felt like my mom and wife hadn't really built up a good relationship compared to my brother and his wife who had married in the same year, that I decided to have a serious conversation with my mom to try and start things over.

It was in that conversation that my mom feigned complete ignorance of ever having made those upsetting phone calls, in fact not only had she never made them but apparently she's the type of person who never could. So obviously there was nothing to apologise about, as she had done nothing wrong. She got upset about me even suggesting she had made those calls, walked out of the room, and then came back to tell me something that at the time I thought was a non sequitur: my parents' marriage had not been a happy one, to put it lightly (my dad had died about ten years ago, my mom had quickly changed back to using her maiden name), but I was told that what got my mom through that marriage was knowing that one day she'd get to see all her sons get married. This was a weird line in what was already a bizarre conversation, so I just again explained the many reasons why we eloped (none of which were satisfactory to my mom).

COVID then happened, so there was no attempt to try to get my wife and mom to know each other better by us meeting up. Instead I thought through that crazy conversation some more. Eventually it hit me: my mom didn't believe any of the reasons she gave for me not marrying my wife, so she couldn't (or didn't want to) recall what she said, because the actual reasons didn't matter. She just wanted me not to marry my wife so that I'd presumably meet someone else who would want a traditional wedding. The fact that she was trying to stop me marrying the woman I loved was less important to my mom than her getting through her own marital problems.

So I wrote a letter to my mom, telling her until she apologised for trying to stop me marrying my wife I didn't want us to have a relationship with her. That was several years ago now and my mom hasn't spoken to me since, so I guess it's permanent!

MainlyLurks Report

Final score:

22points

Norm Gilmore 5 months ago

TIL. Always thought mom was a particularly American way of saying mum (my way of saying it) But there are areas of England that do say it this way! From Google- But a British mother can also be a mom Or a mam. Or a ma. It depends on the British region or country – England, Scotland, Wales or Northern Ireland – on what spelling or pronunciation is used for the pet name. In Birmingham and the West Midlands, in England, most say and write mom.

4points

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#58

Mom cut a random chunk of my hair off while I was sleeping. Dad made excuses for why it's normal.

sadbeanwithdreams Report

Final score:

22points

Ionescu Popa 4 months ago

if this would be a scientific experiment you would be required to reciprocate, so to confirm the results. unfortunately, its just subjectivity and arrogance.

1point

#59

He got on a plane.

He never really liked me or engaged with me much growing up. We never did things as a family. Never vacationed or flew anywhere to visit other family. As a kid I didn’t know any better, then when I was old enough I wrote it off as him likely being autistic but still tried to cultivate a relationship with his grandkids. Then, after he divorced my mom and reconnected with his high school girlfriend I realized he was capable of actually caring about people and their happiness. He just didn’t care enough with me or my kids. He got on a plane to go visit the girlfriend and that’s when I realized.

keight159keight Report

Final score:

19points

#60

My Mom telling me "I'm taking the easy way out by dating men." This was a week after I came out to her, and my Dad immediately said "No you're not.". I don't go home to see them, I only pick up the phone on occasion to make sure it's not an emergency.

Dave_The_Nord Report

Final score:

19points

Mike F 5 months ago

Hey, what's up? No fires? Anybody die? Nope? Later!

10points

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#61

Not telling me when my nan’s funeral was.

My dad isn’t malicious (I don’t believe anyway), he just doesn’t think. He was in contact with me the day she died, and even a few days after. He told me he would let me know when the funeral was so that my brother and I could attend.

And then he just. Never did.

I found out five days beforehand from my cousin (who hadn’t spoken to me in years by that point), messaging me to ask why I wasn’t coming. I told her I didn’t even know the funeral was the upcoming week. Cue me scrambling to let my mum/brother know in hopes we could all go (we have all moved away from the area my nan lived in).

Thankfully we did make it down and managed to book some hotel rooms. But when I saw my dad at the funeral I just felt. Disappointed. Immensely so.

It’s funny, because I saw my nan about a month before she passed away, when she had gone into hospital. Travelled down to see her, decided to make a day of it and meet up with an old friend in the mid afternoon. My nan told me, whilst I was there, that my dad was coming in about an hour. I really didn’t want to see him (due to prior times he had let me down), and my nan said that it seemed silly that I’d still be angry at him over inconsequential things (things that were not inconsequential to me). I told her that I just wasn’t ready to talk to him yet, but maybe one day I would be.

I wonder how she’d feel if she knew he didn’t tell me about her funeral? That two of her grandchildren nearly missed out on saying goodbye, either through incompetence or malice (though I choose to believe it is the former - my dad is an dumbass but he’s not the malicious type).

I don’t know
But, I’m still not ready to talk to him about it either. Maybe I never will be. And I’m telling myself that, that’s okay too.

MetacrisisMewAlpha Report

Final score:

14points

LiuLiu 5 months ago

he is malicious

7points

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#62

It wasn't the fact that my sperm doner sold me to his father sexually for free rent. I wasn't the fact that he beat me and starved me. It wasn't the fact that he never saved or cared for me. It was never when he'd do d***s and have me, a 5 year old at the time, clean up after him. It wasn't even when I didn't see him from age 6 and had no communication with him(his choice) or even got a birthday card or anything (my brother, his son, got one). It wasn't even when he was a perfect blood match for my little sister that had leukemia and he refused to do a blood marrow transfusion for her so she died at 3 and 1/2 years old. No! It was when he saw at age 20 that I had a decent job that he **FINALLY** got his head out his a*s and tried to contact me. What did he want, you ask? Money. He wanted money. I'm sure for his massive d**g addiction.

I told him then and there that he's dead to me. That I don't want him to contact me. I don't care when he dies. That he's not my father. And he has no right to my life.

He's been harassing me since. So I got my name legally changed. Since he picked out my old name anyway. And it's the name of a popular brand name(he's not original at all.) I don't want anything to do with this man, and if he shows up on my porch I will 🔫 him. And I'll be smiling when it happens.

Final score:

12points

LiuLiu 5 months ago

hope they don't ruin their life over this POS

7points

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Guy Divorced 3 Years Ago Drops Off 3 Y.O. With His Ex-Wife Completely Out Of The Blue

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#63

When my father said to my face: "Since you're no longer in the religion, your brothers and us have decided you're dead to us."

No thanks, if you're picking your cult, Jehovah's Witnesses, over me, you're dead to me too.

xyz19606 Report

Final score:

11points

Michael Largey 5 months ago

I suspect that the dad did the brothers deciding for them.

9points

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#64

My dad's older and had always been a prick. He lost his house because he sucks with money and let him move in with me and my family. He had an issue with his cellphone and I was looking at it he wouldn't shut up and kept grabbing it so I admittedly raised my voice and said " do you want me to fix it or f*****g not" so he thought it be a reasonable thing to pull out a revolver and say he was gonna shoot me. This was all in front of my 1.5 year old daughter. So I called the cops he got arrested, and I threw all his s**t out. Heard his pretty sick now, but I won't speak to him or see him in the hospital after that.

IntelligentFroyo9380 Report

Final score:

11points

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College Student Does Exactly As Told After Roommates Demand They Keep Their Stuff In Their Room

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#65

After a suicide attempt my mother forced me to go to my family and apologise for wasting everyone’s time and causing unnecessary stress. After I did this, even though my friend begged me not to, I went to visit another friend about possibly renting a room in her house. My mother figured out what I was going to do and texted me to never come back before I’d even walked around the corner. She then called my grandmother to tell her that she had “finally thrown the b***h out”.

Thankfully my grandmother was furious with her and invited me to come stay with her. She held a peace talk with me and my mother which it was agreed we would meet for coffee in a few days to sort things out. My mother never came back and two days later my clothes were delivered via my aunt to the front door. It’s been 3 years almost 4. I haven’t spoken to her since.

khiphopcult Report

Final score:

10points

Me Oh My (He/They) 5 months ago

Good.

5points

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#66

They were emotionally abusive and neglectful growing up but I tried to maintain some semblance of a relationship as an adult, mostly for the sake of my grandpa, who is a genuinely wonderful person.

Five years ago, my alcoholic younger brother got drunk and went off on me in the family group chat, calling me fat, stupid, worthless, saying I'd never amount to anything in my life. Both parents and all the other siblings were in there and as he was doing it, and even the next day, everyone else was just silent. I realized no one in that family would ever have my back on a single thing. I blocked all their numbers, sent them an email asking them not to try to contact me again, and haven't spoken to them since. Grandpa and I still have a great, close relationship, so I only wish I'd done it sooner.

nomadich Report

Final score:

10points

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#67

Three different events with the third being the final straw. The other two necessitate mentioning for build up.

1. When I was in high school, my brother went to prison for molesting the neighbor girl. My parents were torn up about it. They turned to meth. I became an after thought. They chose meth over me and their mortgage. I had to go live with my nana and my pawpaw.

2. Right after graduating college, I moved back in with them after they got their s**t back together. Brother out of prison, part 1. Got a job. Moved out. Lost job. Needed to move back in. Mom and ad wouldn't let me. They chose my registered sex offender brother over me. I moved back to the town I went to college in and slept on friends couches and in my car until I was able to get back on my feet. The only reason we resumed communications is bc my nana and pawpaw were alive and wanted to be peace makers.

3. Final straw. December 31, 2020. My parents chose a conman, grifter, rapist, polititician over me. My brother, out of prison, part 2, with another two felonies added, says I'm a socialist c**t. I throw my drink in his face (not my best moment) and he proceeded to tell me that his nearby jar of moonshine was worth more to him than my life. My parents take his side and choose, again, my child molester felon brother and a grifter, rapist, conman politician over their own daughter.

I got tired of never being chosen by my family. Me - no felonies, went to college, not a piece of s**t... yeah I can be a bit obnoxious and socially stunted (look who raised me), but I try to be a f*****g kind and decent human being. But they are never going to choose me they are always going to choose the shittier choice over me. So I want out and chose my own family and they love me more fiercely than any blood kin i have.

It's been 3 years no contact. Nana and pawpaw aren't alive anymore to try to stitch things back up. Therapy does helps.

ndnd_of_omicron Report

Final score:

9points

AtMostAFabulist Premium 5 months ago

It's great that you chose yourself. That is usually the hardest part.

5points

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#68

My father was an incestuous pedophile. I hadn't seen him since I was 5. I had always craved a fatherly relationship, so I decided to meet with him when I was 19. The main condition for us being in contact was total honesty. I stupidly thought our candid conversations weren't just more lies from him.

A few weeks later, he made a lewd call to my 21-year-old sister. She called me in tears. I called him and threatened to kill him if he ever contacted any of us again. His wife called and tried to blame it on him being bipolar. Bipolar is awful, but it doesn't make you incestuous.

He died in 2010.

MCLGarrett Report

Final score:

8points

Lyn Moffett 5 months ago

Rot in hell

2points

#69

When she stabbed my dad, claimed he did it himself, and filed a restraining order.

CatPawSoup Report

Final score:

8points

Michael Largey 5 months ago

If someone stabbed me, any order that forbade contact would be welcome.

7points

#70

So many things. It was so many years of emotional abuse, and being a victim of maunchausen by proxy. I realized I had to leave to live the life i wanted to live. Only now looking back do I realize how horrific it was. The final straw really was when I got out of a mental hospital, and my parent and siblings wanted me
To sign a conservator ship form. It felt insulting, and I knew if I signed it my life would be over. I met my partner and left 6 months later. I’m not saying it was the smartest choice, but it worked out in the end, and I feel better now. I’m doing things I was told I was incapable of doing. I know I had to do it for me.

-silent_soul Report

Final score:

8points

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#71

It was always shaky with my dad. My brother is gay, I am queer, and Dad's a MAGA republican who lives "out in the country." He once told me he didn't want to be a "Gay-Son Dad." You know... a dad who has to fight a guy in a bar because he said the word f****t. The final straw though was him turning his Facebook into a k*ll Nancy Pelosi page and I told myself "he's lost to me.".

DevoALMIGHTY Report

Final score:

8points

Michael Largey 5 months ago

"My brother is gay, I am queer". Can someone explain the difference? (Serious question.)

7points

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#72

After killing myself for 3 years cleaning up the mess of their lives after a heart attack (emptying, repairing a huge hoarder house, finding them a place to live with a car etc.) they took themselves off disability they needed and I fought hard for because, “I can still work!” when they could not.

I was done.

DangerousMusic14 Report

Final score:

8points

Blue Flower 5 months ago

My heart breaks for you 💔

3points

#73

After years of abuse that my siblings DIDN'T go through since they got outta the house first, when I ended up pregnant when it was medically unsafe and I had to go have an abortion, she called me a baby killer and said that I murdered her grandbaby when her first daughter (my eldest sister who is the favorite) miscarried hers and would've given anything to keep them, etc style talking.

A lot happened. But I've been better off since August 27th, 2023.

valaceria Report

Final score:

8points

Michael Largey 5 months ago

Even some of the stupidest MAGA types allow for abortion if the life of the mother is at stake.

7points

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#74

After spending all my money on a bus trip from St Louis to NH and buying gifts.. showing up Christmas Eve and being told I wasn’t welcome..standing in the midst of a snow storm on the welcome mat..left!

Separate-Series-7544 Report

Final score:

8points

Ionescu Popa 4 months ago

shheea!

1point

#75

While I was visiting from out of state, an argument over me wanting to spend some of the trip with my in laws who lived nearby. They screamed, called me names, told to get the f**k out and never come back. I didn’t say anything I regretted, just left. 7 years later, I have abided by what they said, despite their efforts to apologize and try to communicate with me. It’s been a huge weight lifted, honestly. I wish it had happened years before. I had a f****d up childhood with a hateful religion and it’s been a process letting all of that go.

gayfortrey Report

Final score:

8points

#76

I'd been putting up with my mom's bs and abuse since I was like 12/13, making excuses, thinking she'd change.
I'm nearly 30 now and a year or so ago I cut her off when she asked me to lie to social services about her abusive ex so she could adopt a child. Despite the f*****g trauma it brought back up, i told social the truth. I hope they listened since I flat out said "Dont give this women a child". Ever since has been great but the truth of the abuse and neglect did hit home hard.

Geoffreys_Pants Report

Final score:

8points

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#77

My dad molested me. I didn’t remember for a long time. When I did, I was prepared to take it to my grave. Then, he molested my youngest niece. I no longer speak to him.

gidget_81 Report

Final score:

8points

Aelin Wildfire 5 months ago (edited)

I hope he got arrested and charged for it... And I hope that everyone in the prison with him knows why he's there.

6points

#78

They participated in January 6th. Also, my mother, who is a nurse, offered to make fake vaccination cards for friends and family.

andhernamewas_ Report

Final score:

8points

Michael Largey 5 months ago

Call the appropriate law enforcement agency.

7points

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#79

Wasn’t a single incident that did it for me. More like years of gaslighting, verbal and emotional abuse from my mother that I failed to recognize as such until I became a mother myself. My mother is extremely well educated with genius IQ, but also a narcissist and an alcoholic.

She said something particularly cruel about my daughter who was then 10. I didn’t react to it at the time, but several months later I just realized she didn’t add any positive value in my life at all. Wrote her a letter basically telling her to f**k off. Felt guilty about for a year then gradually saw how liberating it felt not to have that negativity in my life.

It’s been 14 blissful years now. My mother cut me out her sizable estate thinking that I would crawl back to her and apologize. Hard nope. She also has no contact with my daughter, her only grandchild.

morecatspleez Report

Final score:

7points

Karen Lyon 5 months ago (edited)

Oh, I know a narcissist like that. None of her three kids talk to her. Her middle child took longer to go NC, and the youngest one did try to patch things up at one point. He was met with the atttitude that she had never made any mistakes, it was all on him. He gave up after that. She has eight grandchildren, all in their 30's now. She has pretended three of them literally don't exist, from the time they were born. The other five grandchildren have had nothing to do with her for at least 15 years. She's never met her great grandchildren either. She and her second husband have been filthy rich for decades. So, all her money will be left to her stepkids (who tolerate her, but who don't like her, let alone love her.) She thinks that she's teaching her blood children and their kids a lesson with that, but they honestly give zero f***s. She is the nastiest piece of work, and no great loss now that she's been cut out of her family.

2points

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#80

Only disowned my dad.

I was working on something in my mums living room (they were divorced already).

He comes in, I say hi and carry on working.

He gets all pigeon chested and started spouting off some bollocks of "You need to give me the respect I deserve" and "I'm going to put you through that wall".

I was very much a standoffish teenager, so I told him to try it and squared up to him. My mum got involved and I pushed him out of the house.

Seen him maybe twice in 12 years now. I already didn't care for him much after s**t he pulled prior, but that was the last straw.

Fartin8r Report

Final score:

7points

#81

They started showing neglectful and emotionally abusive behavior towards my children and it all came crashing down. Turns out I have severe childhood trauma because of them that I suppressed and it flooded me when I saw the repeat of that behavior, and I might've even been able to forgive them for what they did to me, but they hurt my kids and there's no coming back from that.

Final score:

7points

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#82

I didn’t cut all contact with my mother, but she was banned from visiting or even entering my home. Final straw was a vicious verbal attack, with teeth bared like a wolf’s, after I told her it was not ok to force my child to eat McDonald’s if he didn’t want to. She was a narcissist and a depression baby with some really weird control issues around food. So many times she told me I was crazy or that my child would die because I didn’t give him formula, or I made my own organic baby food, or I didn’t give him sugar or fast food on a regular basis. Weird stuff to fight over. Anyway, my home is my safe space and nobody is allowed to berate me or make me feel threatened. Same for my child. If he didn’t feel like dealing with grandma’s bs, I fully supported his decision.

XRaysFromUranus Report

Final score:

7points

#83

He said that he'd though about all the abuse he put me through when I was a child, and decided that it was, in fact, the correct thing to have done.

Sir_CriticalPanda Report

Final score:

7points

Me Oh My (He/They) 5 months ago (edited)

Sounds like my mum. She hit my sister because she was taking too long in the shower (we were running late to the funeral of a man who regularly insulted my grandmother's side of the family, despite being her cousin, because he thought being wealthy made him better than everyone, and she was desperately trying to impress his son so we could "have connections") and maintains that she did the right thing. ETA: This is the only instance of physical abuse, but there have been (and will continue to be) repeated instances of verbal and emotional abuse. The only reason she HASN'T hit me is because I've made it clear that I will hit her back.

4points

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#84

The final straw wasn’t even bad considering all of the truly horrendous s**t I went through beforehand, lol.

Step-mom sent me a video of my dad drunkenly verbally abusing her, I confronted him, he sent me screenshots of her saying I was faking being depressed. Messaged both of them telling them to never contact me again and that I’m blocking them.

It’s been almost 7 years at this point, I have never regretted that choice.

breathingexercise Report

Final score:

7points

#85

My grandma died and my dad forged her will. The previous will left everything to my sister and I. I wouldn’t have cared so much; my dad took care of her the last two years of her life. But then his wife and he paid for my step-brother to pursue a relationship with someone he met in South Africa, paid for her visa and immigration lawyer. Then gave her his car.

He got offended when I asked him how much that cost and that my grandma would not be happy with knowing that’s where her money went.

We have spoken once since then, the step brother died from Covid and she still has his car.

Final score:

7points

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#86

Them gaslighting me and basically saying i should just marry a local village girl and have kids and stay my whole life in the same s****y town.

StrikeBlind Report

Final score:

7points

Lyn Moffett 5 months ago

What does gaslighting mean please? I know I’ve had it explained to me at one time but I can’t remember. Ask these new names for things confuse me

1point

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#87

You can forgive them and do the work to understand why they did what they did in the past, but then they have to change. If they don't change their toxic behavior, you have to put some time and distance between you and them.

Final score:

6points

Blue Flower 5 months ago

You gotta put a whole lotta gone between you and someone like them.

3points

#88

Mine isn't as bad as some of these comments, but it's still worth sharing, I guess. Also, not disowned, but more ghosted, I'd say.

I'm the only one out of my siblings to cut connections with my dad because he had a terrible habit of constantly asking me for money every time he called, even during the times when he knew I was struggling financially. And if I didn't give him the money he wanted, he'd start asking for a billion other random favours that somehow also involved money, like taking him out to dinner or taking him shopping. I kept up with this charade for about 2 years before I finally cut him off.

My parents got divorced when I was a kid, and my dad got married a few years later to a woman who had a double-story house and whose wealth and income were above average, yet my dad never stopped his obnoxious habit despite being in a better financial position than his own children.

He started hassling my brother on a weekly basis for money after finding out that he could no longer contact me. But I know it won't be long before my brother either confronts him or cuts off all connection like I did. That guy is a crazy freeloader who just doesn't know how to stop.

Edit: Just to clarify, my dad didn't have any addictions or financial problems to warrant all this leeching he had going on. He just enjoyed spending money and being taken care of by his children.

Final score:

6points

Panda 5 months ago

My grandfather was like that. He liked spending money which he did not have. He believed his kids were brought to life to serve him and provide for him. Unfortunately my parent never cut ties with him, never said no to anything he asked. When my grandfather died he had no assets but he had a massive debt that his kids had to pay off.

5points

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#89

Money and control issues will be the big ones here. Many s****y parents steal their kids identity or guilt them into thinking they owe the parents something.

Final score:

6points

#90

My wife did to her biological father because he chose meth over seeing his grandkids.

robbie_30 Report

Final score:

6points

Me Oh My (He/They) 5 months ago

My best friend's going through this with their dad. It's hard to see. Especially after the bastard basically didn't talk to them after he permanently lost custody, then had the steel balls to text their mother on their 18th birthday.

3points

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#91

I was borrowing his car for a job, now keep in mind he told me I could use it for a few months and we were in the second week. Well, he shows up with cops and has them call me overhead to come up and give him the keys back. I had been at that job for that second week, so all of this had me terrified I'd be fired.

Well he gave me a check for $1,000 and told me to use it to get my own car. Went, "hmph... thanks," in a pretty upset tone (again, this is a lot of drama for the new guy at work so I'm embarrassed and mad that he came to get his car so soon). Luckily I was able to get a ride home, and on my ride home he called me and said that he canceled the check because I wasn't grateful enough. After that I called his ex wife (RIP) and told her what happened so she straight up gave me a car.

This was at the end of a lot or emotional manipulation and name-calling, so I know it's not the most egregious thing in this thread, but it was my reasoning for leaving him behind. He died a few years later and we never made up.

Karnadas Report

Final score:

6points

Me Oh My (He/They) 5 months ago

Ex-wife sounds like a wonderful person. No wonder she divorced that POS.

9points

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#92

I haven’t disowned them yet, but I’m on the verge.

I had a cancer scare when I was 18. My mother told family members that I was likely being punished by God and deserved it. She uttered the same thing when I had food poisoning 4 weeks ago; that I deserved it and God was punishing me for staying out late and going out so much (I’m 25, I was home by 10pm, and I went out for a meal with a friend!!!).

It’s baffling considering my parents lost a daughter - my sister - to cancer when she was 4 years old.

I simply cannot understand her mindset nor do I wish to. I just can’t wait to leave.

PushDiscombobulated8 Report

Final score:

6points

Anxious&Bored Bear 5 months ago

You deserve better parents than that.

5points

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#93

I think I'm late to the party on this response. I'm 30 and just recently stopped talking to my dad. I'll try to keep this short because there's a lot of background. But me and my dad had a good relationship when I was young, up until I was about 14. Hes a d**g addict but I saw past that, nor did I hold it against him. I was in and out of foster care most of my life, because of my parents addictions. My parents got divorced when I was about 14 and from the point on my dad was hardly involved in my life. He didn't help my mom with money, he went and got his own place and maxed out his credit cards and started dating this other lady that already had like 6 kids of her own, they did d***s together, he went off the deep end. But still, none of those decisions really made me want to cut contact with him, we would still talk sometimes, but not often. Fast forward until I got my first job, I was living with my mom, he started asking me for money, telling me he would pay me back, at first I felt bad and would give him money or buy him and his (8) kids (he had 2 more with her) dinner, order them a pizza or something. He never paid me back but to be honest, I didn't really expect him to, I just wanted to help him out. But then it became a pattern, he kept asking for money or for me to buy dinner and I continued to feel bad until one day it clicked. I realized, the only time I was hearing from him was when he needed something and I finally told him no, I'm not going to send him any more money or buy their dinner. And magically after he realized I was no longer a source of income I hardly heard from him, he would go months without reaching out. Fast forward about 10-12 years until about 6 months ago.. I felt bad, my dad was getting older, having some health issues, and intermittently he was making efforts to build the relationship with me again. And to be honest I'd feel very guilty if I would have held a grudge against him and he ended up passing away without me at least making an effort to have a relationship with him again. So he flew out to visit me, spent a week at my house, I did my absolute best to make him feel comfortable, paid for all the meals, tried to spend time with him, he was a guest in my house in my mind and I did my best to make him feel welcome and try to rebuild that relationship. But it just felt like I couldn't relate to him on any level, he's irresponsible, lives off the government, constantly asks the family for money, and I just couldn't build a relationship with somebody like that. The final straw was when he was visiting my grandma's (his mom's) house was right by a major wildland fire, the fire came right up to her back yard, my uncle flew to my grandma's and helped clean up and put out spot fires and my dad made a comment saying "your uncle can have the house, I just want some money" referencing when his mom passes away he doesn't want their property, he just wants some money. And that's when I realized, nothing had changed, he's still the same person that all he cares about is using people. I immediately started to question why he wanted to build this relationship back up with me. Sure enough a couple months later he's having issues with his new wife and he makes a comment about wanting to come move in to my house and live with me.

I realize I didn't keep this short at all, and even if nobody reads it, it felt good to get it all out.

TLDR: Dad used me and the family for money and when his mom dies all he cares about his inheriting some of her money.

Egotisticeggplant Report

Final score:

6points

Blue Flower 5 months ago

I hope he gets nothing.

3points

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#94

That I really was in a one sided relationship with my father. I wasn't a son, I was a daughter and therefore to him, I only existed when he wanted to play dad. I didn't do sports like he wanted, I did theater and choir- which he ignored. I had to beg him to come to a high school performance.

I ignore his existence for that and him being a pedophile to family friends son (I'm not ignoring what he did, just that I'm unfortunately related to the moron.)

He still tells everyone he's a great dad and my mom poisoned me against him. I've started telling people who tell me I should give him a chance to ask him my birthday, my middle name or my phone number (had the same one since I was 16). He can't name any of the 3. Suddenly it's much more clear to them why he isn't who I refer to as dad.

WitchinIl Report

Final score:

6points

#95

I didn't disown my mom, but I don't call or visit her anymore. I send occasional letters or cards, but that's it.

She's a hoarder. Last time I offered to help (organize her stuff and some cleaning--not throwing anything away), she wrote "MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS" in my birthday card.

She refuses to get a cell phone or internet access. She hates all men except her brother, which is a problem considering that I am her *son*. And even back when we did keep in touch by phone, she'd find something to scold me about every time I called.

Maybe mild compared to others' experiences, but I just can't deal with it anymore.

HawaiianShirtsOR Report

Final score:

6points

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#96

I gave her one chance after my stepdad died to see if things would change. They didn’t.

probablynotaskrull Report

Final score:

6points

#97

Not me, but my wife. There wasn’t a final straw; it was death by a thousand cuts.

Wife’s mother tried to control her wedding to her first husband, buying a bunch of things the wife didn’t want. Wife’s mother will hold family events where she invites other people from the family (including my wife’s brother) and won’t invite us. Wife’s mother will criticize her own cousin for having a close relationship and getting together once a month for brunch because we’re foodies, so we have to “sneak around” just to spend time together. Wife’s mother will text wife and tell her that she deserves more respect from my wife.

Wife’s stepmother from when her father remarried also doesn’t invite us to family events because we didn’t crumble under pressure when she kept pushing us to reveal details of our wedding planning (because she would have picked them apart and criticized them). Wife’s stepmother decorates their house and has pictures of her own children everywhere, but none with my wife or her brother. Wife’s sister-in-law is currently pregnant and wife’s stepmother is picking apart what the brother and the sister-in-law are doing for the child. Wife and her brother have complained to their father, who does nothing to defend either of them.

Also, despite the fact that wife’s mother and father don’t get along and hadn’t spoken in years until out wedding due to the father cheating on the mother, the mother and stepmother get along just wonderfully.

PeanutCheeseBar Report

Final score:

5points

IDK_Something 5 months ago

Misery loves company!

7points

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#98

Havent gotten to a Final Straw but my MiL said that we would end up divorcing because we aren't having kids because theres nothing keeping us together. Havent talked to her much since then.

verbleabuse97 Report

Final score:

4points

Me Oh My (He/They) 5 months ago

Says a lot about MIL's own marriage.

6points

#99

I have two separate fallouts with both parents. My mom's was bad, but my dad's was skin crawlingly horrible, so don't read that part unless you can handle animal torture. They were divorced, so they lived separately. My mom's came first.

My mom lied to me constantly to get me to do what she wanted or to placate me so I wouldn't annoy her. She made false promises and virtually nothing she ever said was genuine. "I PROMISE I'll take you to xyz if you just do abc! I mean it this time for SURE, on my children's lives!!"

I do abc, she says "I was just kidding" or "I never said that".

So, one day, she pulled the same old s**t and I just f*****g had it. I was 15, started yelling at her that she was a liar, so she called my brother (7 years older, 4 hours away at college) and told him that I was out of control. Mind you, she is also a professional victim and would say "I don't know why she's so violent!!" or "I'm such a terrible mother, I don't know what I did wrong!!" It's relevant to say that I was and still am the ONLY person in my family who has never used physical intimidation to get my way.

She put him on speaker and he started threatening me to drive down and beat me up if I didn't apologize, which I was not going to do, so I tried to go into my room to cool down. My mom had taken the lock off my door years ago (per my brother's request so he could steal my things and beat me up whenever he wanted) so she just walked in and kept following me. I walked around the house trying to get away from her and the phone when she tripped over the threshold between rooms and fell.

When she fell, she started WAILING. My brother said "DID SHE HIT YOU?? SHE HIT YOU, DIDN'T SHE? I'LL KILL HER IF SHE HIT YOU".

Did my mom correct him? Lmao, no. But she did absolutely LOVE the attention. She started sobbing "Nooo, I'm okay! I'm not that hurt!" She wouldn't deny the claim that I hit her and I was SO offended. So I went outside into the garage to get a soda and distance myself. Within a few minutes, I tried to go back in and realized that she locked me out into the garage.

So I called my dad to come get me, told him the story, and I stayed at his house from then on. I called her bluff, as she was CERTAIN that I wouldn't call him because he was an awful, insufferable person. But I did because I was honestly getting to a mental place where I was unsure how our relationship wouldn't end in my suicide.

Living with my dad started well because he was on his best behavior for a while. He was a different kind of evil. He was very honest, never a liar, and tried to have empathy, but he would snap when his extremely volatile emotions came to a head, which was too frequent for comfort. When I was younger, this used to mean beatings, but he knew that that wouldn't fly anymore at my age, so he took it out on his pets instead.

He had a cockatoo at the time named Loki who was an absolute joy. Every day after school, I'd let Loki out and play with him. He liked to dance, sing, and headbang. He cracked me up and I loved him to bits.

One day, I came home and found Loki in the corner of his cage moaning and was very confused by what I saw. His wing was stuck in the bars so I tried to help him out, but he became vicious and tried with all his might to bite me. I couldn't get close enough to set him free and panicked as I tried to figure out what to do.

About an hour into trying to help Loki, my dad came home and went straight into the couch to start chatting with 18 year old potential mail order wives overseas. So I told him what was going on and he said "yeah, I know" with no emotion at all.

Even more confused, I kept trying to help him and he yelled at me to stop. He said "that f****r nipped my finger when I came home for lunch so I threw him in there as hard as I could. Don't f*****g help him, he deserves to suffer".

I spent the next several hours forced to sit there and watch him get weaker and weaker. Got screamed at for crying so I had to cry silently. Finally, bed time came around, and he decided it was dark enough to dispose of Loki. He reached in, picked him up like he was nothing but a toy, and slammed him into the half full trash can as hard as he could. He then took the trash can down to the dumpster still alive.

Loki was one of DOZENS of animals my dad had murdered in cold blood, but that one was just.... I don't know. I guess I was finally old enough to really absorb the horror of it all. I hated him so much, I met a girl the day after, told her the story, and she offered for me to move in with her and her mom. My dad let me because he wanted to bring home a new 18 year old to f**k without me in the way. So I moved in with her at 16 and the rest is history.

Last I heard, my mom got Lupus and blamed her diagnosis on me, and my dad married a lady from the Phillipines who he had 2 little girls with and he hates all three of them.

F**k them both. Feel bad for my half sisters, but there's nothing I can do.

These are wildly abridged versions of these stories, too. I could write a book about the evil that was my family. My brother is honestly even worse than both of them.

shojokat Report

Final score:

4points

LiuLiu 5 months ago

this makes me feel ill

6points

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#100

TL;DR: 23 years of abuse, and what decided it for me was a dream. It was a completely stupid dream, but that's what made me decide I couldn't do it anymore.

I have fibromyalgia thanks to 23 years of physical, mental, and emotional abuse. In 2021, I had a dream about visiting my family for Christmas.

I was sat in a corner out the way, ignored except to be told off for not interacting with anyone (even though I was ignored when I tried to be included in conversations), even for the meal. After the meal, I was asked to wash up by myself. I said I'd happily assist with washing up, but it wasn't possible for me to do it solo due to the amount of pain it would cause me.

That set them off, yelling and shouting at me, asking why I'm suddenly too good to wash up. I tried explaining that I'm happy to do some of it, or help someone else, but I cannot physically do the entire meals washing up as I'd not be able to move afterwards because of pain. They spent 30+ minutes yelling at me and trying to push me into the kitchen while I was crying and literally begging for help.

Up until this point? Completely accurate for my family, and this was them being *nice to me because its family time*. Then they handed me *my* plates, as in my completely separate set of dishes that I had in my own house, not the ones they owned. And that's what decided it for me: a completely arbitrary event, but them having the cheek to use my plates at their house for Christmas Dinner and then expecting me to wash the entire lot? That's what made me realise that I couldn't do it anymore because *it was completely in line with their character/behaviour*.

I went NC with everyone except my siblings since that dream. Not had an issue since.

BPD-and-Lipstick Report

Final score:

3points

Detroit Citizen 5 months ago

Sometimes our dreams lets us see what our brain is blocking out. I had a reoccuring dream (which i didnt know was possible, like it was exactly the same each time). My moms ex, a real pos. 80s hardcore biker, in a motorcyle gang and all. He made stupidly good money at GM as THE die maker. Yet a real pos. I saw my mom get beat, abused, in grade school Id step inbetween them. I kept having this dream. Even as a teen after my mom found the strength to leave him. FF to when my son was born. My ex insisted that we all meet. When moms ex (at the clubhouse, bikers hangout) said let me hold my grandson. Thats when I knew my dream was a preminition of habits that wont change. He got to see the child that would never be a part of his life. Funny thing is as a kid I thought this man was huge. Im 5 10 and I towered over him, i saw him for what he was, a shell of guy trying to be a man. I had no anger or ill feelings, just sorrow. He was a washed up pathetic soul who no doubt had a life of regrets.

4points

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Kornelija Viečaitė

Hi there, fellow pandas! As a person (over)educated both in social sciences and literature, I'm most interested in how we connect and behave online (and sometimes in real life too.) The human experience is weird, so I try my best to put its peculiarities in writing. As a person who grew up chronically online, I now try to marry two sides of myself: the one who knows too much about MySpace, and the one who can't settle and needs to see every corner of the world.

Hi there, fellow pandas! As a person (over)educated both in social sciences and literature, I'm most interested in how we connect and behave online (and sometimes in real life too.) The human experience is weird, so I try my best to put its peculiarities in writing. As a person who grew up chronically online, I now try to marry two sides of myself: the one who knows too much about MySpace, and the one who can't settle and needs to see every corner of the world.

Mindaugas Balčiauskas

I'm a visual editor at Bored Panda. I kickstart my day with a mug of coffee bigger than my head, ready to tackle Photoshop. I navigate through the digital jungle with finesse, fueled by bamboo breaks and caffeine kicks. When the workday winds down, you might catch me devouring bamboo snacks while binging on the latest TV show, gaming or I could be out in nature, soaking up the tranquility and communing with my inner panda.

I'm a visual editor at Bored Panda. I kickstart my day with a mug of coffee bigger than my head, ready to tackle Photoshop. I navigate through the digital jungle with finesse, fueled by bamboo breaks and caffeine kicks. When the workday winds down, you might catch me devouring bamboo snacks while binging on the latest TV show, gaming or I could be out in nature, soaking up the tranquility and communing with my inner panda.

What do you think ?

Ash 5 months ago

I met my best friend in 2014, when I was in grad school. She sniffed out pretty immediately that my mom was emotionally abusive. I had no idea. She would gently try to hint that the things my mom was doing weren't okay, but I was so brainwashed, I would defend my mom. It took my bestie 4 years, but in 2018 my mom's emotional abuse got significantly worse for a month or two, and then I caught her in a deliberate lie that she could ONLY be telling in order to hurt me, and it just clicked. I knew I needed to get out. Moved out in 2020, and am now living with my bestie and her family! (Now if only I could convince her that her husband is a selfish emotional vampire with the same personality disorder my mom has... sigh.)

17points

LayDiva in the Zone 5 months ago

She needs to get the beam out of her eye, that's why she saw the speck in yours.

12points

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nancthetank 5 months ago

I feel sad for all the trauma everyone has been through. I hope there’s lots of happiness ahead!

15points

Hphizzle 5 months ago

Some times it’s the littlest things that open your eyes. With a particular “friend group” we were all out to eat. And I was just sitting there thinking that I would rather be at the gym (a shocking revelation for me, haha). I’d rather be with my workout buddies than sitting here. Walked away from all that (it was a church group of friends) and have been much happier.

13points

Mike F 5 months ago

These ranged from angry to pitiful to soul crushing.

8points

Anna Ekberg 5 months ago

It was hard but i read through all the stories, i also read the comments people made sharing their experiences. To these people here on BP i would like to say: Thank you for sharing your stories, i really needed this right now. I went NC with my family some years ago and lately i was slightly doubting my decision. I recognise my situation in so many of your stories, thank you all for reminding me that i made the right decision. Much love to you all. ❤️

7points

Blue Flower 5 months ago

🤗

1point

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Mark Fuller 5 months ago

I'm totally in that place. It's been 18 months since I saw my arrogant, narcissistic father and I feel better for it.

6points

Hoodoo 5 months ago

I'd the same situation save it was my mum. Tho I never totally cut contact ( for m' dad's sake,) I kept her at arm's length - similar reasons. I'm now 65, m' parents are both gone, & I can tell you that my mum NEVER really changed. Taking the High Road can sometimes lead to nowhere. You're wise to protect yourself.

2points

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Weasel Wise 5 months ago

I went NC with both parents: my dad cuz he's a pervert that mòlested my sister and I (Mom knew this too), my mom cuz she told me the abuse (basically most every type of abuse one can imagine) was my fault, I goaded them into it, and I deserved it. That was my last phone conversation with her, March of 2019, ending it with "I have to go" and hanging up. I hope they both suffer a long, painful, miserable dèath.

6points

Skadi Lifdis 5 months ago

Long story short, we always had a volatile relationship. We had been estranged a few times in my teens and early 20's. The final estrangement happened when me and my 5 year old son lived with him. He was trying to throw us out at 9pm during a torrential thunderstorm and threatened anyone offering to help me. Then he tells me "I have a .45 and can stay up all night". Cops were called. My son and I were placed in a domestic violence shelter with only what I could carry. We ended up moving back to California and I haven't spoken to him since. I honestly don't know where he is and assume he's still alive because no one has called my former mother in law to get word to me that he's dead. Don't know. Don't care.

4points

Skadi Lifdis 5 months ago

Also - during this incident, he was extremely drunk and high on coke. Had been sober when we moved in but started drinking again not too long after we arrived.

5points

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Li Terrell 5 months ago

Nobody really talks about parents who have to cut off their children 😞 sometimes they are just as bad

2points

Guess Undheit 5 months ago

When I moved abroad for what I thought was a one year job, I realized, "I don't have to go back." So I never did. I cut contact with the abusive breeders, then kept track of them so they wouldn't know where I was. I didn't shed a tear when either of them died. Cut off the siblings too because despite both abusers being dead, the siblings are still under their control (the male now an incel, the female breeding kids like rabbits because of religious nonsense). Best. Decision. Ever.

2points

Amy Broderick 5 months ago

I've been NC for about a year and a half. The year or so before that was LC. I just got tired of hearing about things I supposedly said or did (that never happened) from other people who were pissed at me for these things that never actually happened. I got tired of being gaslit constantly of being shown that my feelings didn't matter especially when my siblings were involved or that I was in the wrong the whole time when I literally was not involved in the bs. I was just an easy scapegoat. My kid was bullied by her (her only grandchild) and was being put down even though her own son was doing the same exact things my kid was (video games and holing up in their rooms). Just a lifetime of bull and being bullied by her - I've had enough of not mattering to her except as an excuse for her to be a victim (apparently I yelled at her a lot and said mean things lol). I need to get her out of my head before I can be free. But I'm working on it.

1point

Nimitz 5 months ago

I'll always remember how my parents f****d up my chance at university. At the time, in order to get a student loan in Alberta your parents needed to make less than $56k or you had to get a private loan which needed co-signing. My dad was making 6 figures and refused to co-sign or help in any way. He told me to report my Mom and her husband's income (prosperity gospel people who have no money) in order to embarrass them and their $23k income. Then he gave me a cheque for $500 in my 2nd year and reported me as a dependent. The student loan service cancelled my loans and told me they were due in full NOW and the university revoked my scholarships and asked for the money back. I had to drop out and even working two full time jobs it only took 7 months for me to go bankrupt and end up almost homeless. It took 18 further years, but finally, after they kept doing s**t like that to me, I realized no contact was the way to go. My life has improved massively since

1point

Ace 5 months ago

Gave up reading them after the first half a dozen or so. TLDR; parents are shít. BTDTGTTS.

1point

Ionescu Popa 4 months ago

and those doing it for a secondary purpose are ten times worse.

0points

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Jahl 5 months ago

Parents manipulated the bio mom into giving her child to the parents and the child didn't know until 20 years after she was an adult https://thesilvasoffresno.blogspot.com/2024/04/a-female-child-with-silvas.html

1point

D.N. Lyons 4 months ago

My biological father raped me repeatedly for twelve years, his abuse starting from when I was 15 to just before my first marriage. Hubby #1 thought it was se×y for him to text me asking for nudes. Excuse me, Denny. This is literally my father texting me. Wtf is wrong with you? And my mother? Never stopped it, just said I was a liar......and when my niece was 11, Daddy Dearest exposed himself to her and tried to watch her change. He even tried to rape my baby sister. So now Mommy Dearest knows what really happened, and I don't talk to anyone I'm DNA-related to----including baby sister, since she won't go to CPS.

0points

Livingwithcfs 5 months ago

I spent my life being the good girl of the family. Shes got so much common sense but she's not the brightest. Even though I stayed loyal to them I got thus and worse all my life. I tried going NC several times but was always roped back in. I cared for both of them in their last illnesses. I never cried for them. I'm glad they've gone, my life is so much happier without all of that c**p. I now have a family of friends who have never said I wasn't good enough

0points

Gracie Mae 5 months ago

parents divorced when i was young, don't remember him, wasn't in my life, but i was always curious. when i grew up, i found him (a few times, because he always 'disappeared' again). mom went with me to meet him. he ended up moving to our state, mom was gracious enough to let him live with her. until he couldn't deal with her; he expected me to let him live with me, but i'd only known him about 6 mos, and wasn't real fond of what i'd learned, so NO. he moved back to his home state with a promise to keep in touch, then ghosted me. ok--as a grown woman w/grandkids, you can't miss a dad you never had; I'm good with it. Besides, I found out recently that the 2 daughters he DID raise with his 2nd wife ARENT HIS! even better? they're HALF-SISTERS to each other--his wife screwed around on him more than once w/more than one man! yeah, dna doesn't lie! also found out he screwed around & produced a psycho daughter. wish i was hateful enough to tell him--haven't spoken to any of them in years!

0points

Mandi T. 5 months ago

I cut mine off after 40 years of emotional abuse, mental abuse, physical neglect, borderline physical abuse. Sadly, I let all of the abuse to me go. Until my mother laughed in my daughters' faces the night their daddy was hit and killed. Just because she had never liked him. Haven't voluntarily spoken to her since. Haven't spoken to her at all in 2 years. Hurt me all you want. You DO NOT hurt my kids.

0points

Brittany Copeland 5 months ago

Went NC with my dad when I was 17. Final straw was when, after I was telling him about my plans to pay for college, he went off about how i as a gold digger just like my sl*t mother. I hung up. She's never asked him for money beyond what the state assigned as child support and I had only ever asked once to help me buy a car (didn't happen). He refused to believe I had any health issues, mental or physical (which I do, made my teenage years hell). Tried to turn his family on my mom and sister (they refused and I love them all for it). Saw him for the first time in 15 years a couple months back, at his dad's funeral. He sent his brother over to say he wanted a relationship with me. I told my uncle that Dad knew where to find me, but I wasn't going to make the first move again. Haven't heard a peep from him since.

0points

Rachael Holland 5 months ago

It was never official. But my dad left my mum when I was 3 and my brother was 3 weeks old. We had some contact through my childhood but not much. When I went to university, my dad said that I was worth speaking to, but my brother wasn't since he wasn't doing anything after secondary school. Then when I dropped out of university and my brother joined the army, he told my brother that he was worth speaking to but I wasn't. Haven't spoken to him since. It's been 20 years, but I don't need that attitude in my life. My dad did make an effort with my brother's kids , but that lasted only a couple of years before he got bored. I honestly don't know if I'll even be upset when he passes.

0points

Giraffy Window 5 months ago (edited)

Not me, but my older sibling. One night a car full of kids blew through a red light. My sibling did not have time to stop, and T-boned the vehicle. The passengers were completely unharmed, but the 17yo driver was unresponsive. My sibling did CPR until emergency services arrived but, heartbreakingly, the kid was pronounced DOA. The devastated mother of this poor kid at first was very understanding, and grateful for how sib tried to save her child. From there it turned to "I want to meet one on one so I can forgive you, and we can move on together in this" My sib is mentally and emotionally damaged from the experience, and wasn't prepared to build any sort of relationship off of the most horrifying thing in their life, nor did they feel capable of helping this person carry her own burden of grief. They kindly, gently declined the invitation of a relationship. My sib was fully cleared of all wrongdoing in court, the kid's friends testified their friend ran the red, and that my sibling stayed and fought to keep their friend alive.***

0points

Giraffy Window 5 months ago (edited)

She continued to press for them to meet to the point my sibling had to get a cease and desist. The mother then began a smear campaign on Facebook about how my sibling and the police must be hiding something, implying sib hadn't actually been sober, and must have some kind of connections covering for them. ****** Three years later, our Dad "felt led" to reach out to this woman through messenger, and have a talk "parent to parent". His intent was to try and get the three of them sat down together (I guess with him as a mediator?) the messages started off fine, but then the woman grew agitated and started calling sib an "attention seeker" (they're not) and how they must have been hiding something from that night to have never wanted to talk to her outside of official mediation. She began saying she'll wait outside sib's home if she has to, and then they'll HAVE to talk. Dad ended the convo, and sent all the messages to sib, saying he messed up. Sib went full NC. They don't want it to be forever, but didn't set an actual end point for when they'll be ready to talk to him. "Felt led" was too often used to force expectations on us growing up, and this time it managed to stir up a whole lot of pain, serious trauma, and the dormant, misplaced rage of a grieving mother. My sibling is too scared to go outside without checking ring doorbell even just to go to their back yard; the woman has been talking to acquaintances, and trying to message sib's friends on messenger trying to get to sib, who has her blocked on everything.

0points

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Headless Horseman 5 months ago

This comment has been deleted.

0points

Linda Lee 5 months ago

Don't you wish all bad parents would read this and actually reflect on the abuse they caused?

0points

vodoyox 5 months ago

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Ash 5 months ago

I met my best friend in 2014, when I was in grad school. She sniffed out pretty immediately that my mom was emotionally abusive. I had no idea. She would gently try to hint that the things my mom was doing weren't okay, but I was so brainwashed, I would defend my mom. It took my bestie 4 years, but in 2018 my mom's emotional abuse got significantly worse for a month or two, and then I caught her in a deliberate lie that she could ONLY be telling in order to hurt me, and it just clicked. I knew I needed to get out. Moved out in 2020, and am now living with my bestie and her family! (Now if only I could convince her that her husband is a selfish emotional vampire with the same personality disorder my mom has... sigh.)

17points

LayDiva in the Zone 5 months ago

She needs to get the beam out of her eye, that's why she saw the speck in yours.

12points

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nancthetank 5 months ago

I feel sad for all the trauma everyone has been through. I hope there’s lots of happiness ahead!

15points

Hphizzle 5 months ago

Some times it’s the littlest things that open your eyes. With a particular “friend group” we were all out to eat. And I was just sitting there thinking that I would rather be at the gym (a shocking revelation for me, haha). I’d rather be with my workout buddies than sitting here. Walked away from all that (it was a church group of friends) and have been much happier.

13points

Mike F 5 months ago

These ranged from angry to pitiful to soul crushing.

8points

Anna Ekberg 5 months ago

It was hard but i read through all the stories, i also read the comments people made sharing their experiences. To these people here on BP i would like to say: Thank you for sharing your stories, i really needed this right now. I went NC with my family some years ago and lately i was slightly doubting my decision. I recognise my situation in so many of your stories, thank you all for reminding me that i made the right decision. Much love to you all. ❤️

7points

Blue Flower 5 months ago

🤗

1point

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Mark Fuller 5 months ago

I'm totally in that place. It's been 18 months since I saw my arrogant, narcissistic father and I feel better for it.

6points

Hoodoo 5 months ago

I'd the same situation save it was my mum. Tho I never totally cut contact ( for m' dad's sake,) I kept her at arm's length - similar reasons. I'm now 65, m' parents are both gone, & I can tell you that my mum NEVER really changed. Taking the High Road can sometimes lead to nowhere. You're wise to protect yourself.

2points

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Weasel Wise 5 months ago

I went NC with both parents: my dad cuz he's a pervert that mòlested my sister and I (Mom knew this too), my mom cuz she told me the abuse (basically most every type of abuse one can imagine) was my fault, I goaded them into it, and I deserved it. That was my last phone conversation with her, March of 2019, ending it with "I have to go" and hanging up. I hope they both suffer a long, painful, miserable dèath.

6points

Skadi Lifdis 5 months ago

Long story short, we always had a volatile relationship. We had been estranged a few times in my teens and early 20's. The final estrangement happened when me and my 5 year old son lived with him. He was trying to throw us out at 9pm during a torrential thunderstorm and threatened anyone offering to help me. Then he tells me "I have a .45 and can stay up all night". Cops were called. My son and I were placed in a domestic violence shelter with only what I could carry. We ended up moving back to California and I haven't spoken to him since. I honestly don't know where he is and assume he's still alive because no one has called my former mother in law to get word to me that he's dead. Don't know. Don't care.

4points

Skadi Lifdis 5 months ago

Also - during this incident, he was extremely drunk and high on coke. Had been sober when we moved in but started drinking again not too long after we arrived.

5points

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Li Terrell 5 months ago

Nobody really talks about parents who have to cut off their children 😞 sometimes they are just as bad

2points

Guess Undheit 5 months ago

When I moved abroad for what I thought was a one year job, I realized, "I don't have to go back." So I never did. I cut contact with the abusive breeders, then kept track of them so they wouldn't know where I was. I didn't shed a tear when either of them died. Cut off the siblings too because despite both abusers being dead, the siblings are still under their control (the male now an incel, the female breeding kids like rabbits because of religious nonsense). Best. Decision. Ever.

2points

Amy Broderick 5 months ago

I've been NC for about a year and a half. The year or so before that was LC. I just got tired of hearing about things I supposedly said or did (that never happened) from other people who were pissed at me for these things that never actually happened. I got tired of being gaslit constantly of being shown that my feelings didn't matter especially when my siblings were involved or that I was in the wrong the whole time when I literally was not involved in the bs. I was just an easy scapegoat. My kid was bullied by her (her only grandchild) and was being put down even though her own son was doing the same exact things my kid was (video games and holing up in their rooms). Just a lifetime of bull and being bullied by her - I've had enough of not mattering to her except as an excuse for her to be a victim (apparently I yelled at her a lot and said mean things lol). I need to get her out of my head before I can be free. But I'm working on it.

1point

Nimitz 5 months ago

I'll always remember how my parents f****d up my chance at university. At the time, in order to get a student loan in Alberta your parents needed to make less than $56k or you had to get a private loan which needed co-signing. My dad was making 6 figures and refused to co-sign or help in any way. He told me to report my Mom and her husband's income (prosperity gospel people who have no money) in order to embarrass them and their $23k income. Then he gave me a cheque for $500 in my 2nd year and reported me as a dependent. The student loan service cancelled my loans and told me they were due in full NOW and the university revoked my scholarships and asked for the money back. I had to drop out and even working two full time jobs it only took 7 months for me to go bankrupt and end up almost homeless. It took 18 further years, but finally, after they kept doing s**t like that to me, I realized no contact was the way to go. My life has improved massively since

1point

Ace 5 months ago

Gave up reading them after the first half a dozen or so. TLDR; parents are shít. BTDTGTTS.

1point

Ionescu Popa 4 months ago

and those doing it for a secondary purpose are ten times worse.

0points

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Jahl 5 months ago

Parents manipulated the bio mom into giving her child to the parents and the child didn't know until 20 years after she was an adult https://thesilvasoffresno.blogspot.com/2024/04/a-female-child-with-silvas.html

1point

D.N. Lyons 4 months ago

My biological father raped me repeatedly for twelve years, his abuse starting from when I was 15 to just before my first marriage. Hubby #1 thought it was se×y for him to text me asking for nudes. Excuse me, Denny. This is literally my father texting me. Wtf is wrong with you? And my mother? Never stopped it, just said I was a liar......and when my niece was 11, Daddy Dearest exposed himself to her and tried to watch her change. He even tried to rape my baby sister. So now Mommy Dearest knows what really happened, and I don't talk to anyone I'm DNA-related to----including baby sister, since she won't go to CPS.

0points

Livingwithcfs 5 months ago

I spent my life being the good girl of the family. Shes got so much common sense but she's not the brightest. Even though I stayed loyal to them I got thus and worse all my life. I tried going NC several times but was always roped back in. I cared for both of them in their last illnesses. I never cried for them. I'm glad they've gone, my life is so much happier without all of that c**p. I now have a family of friends who have never said I wasn't good enough

0points

Gracie Mae 5 months ago

parents divorced when i was young, don't remember him, wasn't in my life, but i was always curious. when i grew up, i found him (a few times, because he always 'disappeared' again). mom went with me to meet him. he ended up moving to our state, mom was gracious enough to let him live with her. until he couldn't deal with her; he expected me to let him live with me, but i'd only known him about 6 mos, and wasn't real fond of what i'd learned, so NO. he moved back to his home state with a promise to keep in touch, then ghosted me. ok--as a grown woman w/grandkids, you can't miss a dad you never had; I'm good with it. Besides, I found out recently that the 2 daughters he DID raise with his 2nd wife ARENT HIS! even better? they're HALF-SISTERS to each other--his wife screwed around on him more than once w/more than one man! yeah, dna doesn't lie! also found out he screwed around & produced a psycho daughter. wish i was hateful enough to tell him--haven't spoken to any of them in years!

0points

Mandi T. 5 months ago

I cut mine off after 40 years of emotional abuse, mental abuse, physical neglect, borderline physical abuse. Sadly, I let all of the abuse to me go. Until my mother laughed in my daughters' faces the night their daddy was hit and killed. Just because she had never liked him. Haven't voluntarily spoken to her since. Haven't spoken to her at all in 2 years. Hurt me all you want. You DO NOT hurt my kids.

0points

Brittany Copeland 5 months ago

Went NC with my dad when I was 17. Final straw was when, after I was telling him about my plans to pay for college, he went off about how i as a gold digger just like my sl*t mother. I hung up. She's never asked him for money beyond what the state assigned as child support and I had only ever asked once to help me buy a car (didn't happen). He refused to believe I had any health issues, mental or physical (which I do, made my teenage years hell). Tried to turn his family on my mom and sister (they refused and I love them all for it). Saw him for the first time in 15 years a couple months back, at his dad's funeral. He sent his brother over to say he wanted a relationship with me. I told my uncle that Dad knew where to find me, but I wasn't going to make the first move again. Haven't heard a peep from him since.

0points

Rachael Holland 5 months ago

It was never official. But my dad left my mum when I was 3 and my brother was 3 weeks old. We had some contact through my childhood but not much. When I went to university, my dad said that I was worth speaking to, but my brother wasn't since he wasn't doing anything after secondary school. Then when I dropped out of university and my brother joined the army, he told my brother that he was worth speaking to but I wasn't. Haven't spoken to him since. It's been 20 years, but I don't need that attitude in my life. My dad did make an effort with my brother's kids , but that lasted only a couple of years before he got bored. I honestly don't know if I'll even be upset when he passes.

0points

Giraffy Window 5 months ago (edited)

Not me, but my older sibling. One night a car full of kids blew through a red light. My sibling did not have time to stop, and T-boned the vehicle. The passengers were completely unharmed, but the 17yo driver was unresponsive. My sibling did CPR until emergency services arrived but, heartbreakingly, the kid was pronounced DOA. The devastated mother of this poor kid at first was very understanding, and grateful for how sib tried to save her child. From there it turned to "I want to meet one on one so I can forgive you, and we can move on together in this" My sib is mentally and emotionally damaged from the experience, and wasn't prepared to build any sort of relationship off of the most horrifying thing in their life, nor did they feel capable of helping this person carry her own burden of grief. They kindly, gently declined the invitation of a relationship. My sib was fully cleared of all wrongdoing in court, the kid's friends testified their friend ran the red, and that my sibling stayed and fought to keep their friend alive.***

0points

Giraffy Window 5 months ago (edited)

She continued to press for them to meet to the point my sibling had to get a cease and desist. The mother then began a smear campaign on Facebook about how my sibling and the police must be hiding something, implying sib hadn't actually been sober, and must have some kind of connections covering for them. ****** Three years later, our Dad "felt led" to reach out to this woman through messenger, and have a talk "parent to parent". His intent was to try and get the three of them sat down together (I guess with him as a mediator?) the messages started off fine, but then the woman grew agitated and started calling sib an "attention seeker" (they're not) and how they must have been hiding something from that night to have never wanted to talk to her outside of official mediation. She began saying she'll wait outside sib's home if she has to, and then they'll HAVE to talk. Dad ended the convo, and sent all the messages to sib, saying he messed up. Sib went full NC. They don't want it to be forever, but didn't set an actual end point for when they'll be ready to talk to him. "Felt led" was too often used to force expectations on us growing up, and this time it managed to stir up a whole lot of pain, serious trauma, and the dormant, misplaced rage of a grieving mother. My sibling is too scared to go outside without checking ring doorbell even just to go to their back yard; the woman has been talking to acquaintances, and trying to message sib's friends on messenger trying to get to sib, who has her blocked on everything.

0points

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Headless Horseman 5 months ago

This comment has been deleted.

0points

Linda Lee 5 months ago

Don't you wish all bad parents would read this and actually reflect on the abuse they caused?

0points

vodoyox 5 months ago

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