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It's one of those Twitter threads you can spend the afternoon on. Recently, writer/editor @cottoncandaddy told her 100K followers about her date who was so clueless in the kitchen, he couldn't have cooked even if he was starving. Her tweet immediately went viral and has already accumulated nearly 290K likes. However, the best part isn't the reactions. It's the cooking fails in the comments. People have been telling stories about the worst food fails they've encountered and they're hilarious. From mistaking every ingredient in the fridge to not being able to follow basic instructions, these poor folks' attempts at cooking food will make you feel like a Michelin-star chef.

If you don't want your friends to include your funny stories in a similar thread, there are some easy cooking tips that can improve your skills straight away. According to Fine Cooking, the first thing you can do is choke up on your chef's knife, "or better control, choke up on the handle to the point of putting your thumb and the side of your index finger onto the side of the blade right above the handle. Speaking of chef’s knives, invest in a good one (and keep it sharp). The longer, wider blade of a chef’s knife will give you speed, control, and confidence," the magazine wrote.

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    The next kitchen hack is to start your dishes with the best ingredients you can get. For example, imported Parmigiano-Reggiano is way better than domestic parmesan. In fact, you can hardly compare the two. Or if you're baking a cake, premium chocolate makes all the difference and fresh homemade breadcrumbs are superior to packaged crumbs by miles. You get the idea.

    #3

    Partners-Cooking-Instructions-Fail

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    Andrew Gibb
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I voted you up because there are just as many terrible woman cooks as men ones

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    Now that you've got the good stuff, another life hack is to use your hands. "Hands are extremely sensitive and sophisticated cooking tools," the experts said. "You can develop this sense of touch by paying attention to how different foods feel at different degrees of doneness, even as you’re checking them with a thermometer, a toothpick, or a knife. Meat, for example, goes from being very soft when it’s rare to quite firm when well done. Touch can also indicate when a cake is baked, if dough is kneaded enough, and whether a pear is ripe."

    A great way to instantly elevate your dishes to another level is by switching to kosher or sea salt. Kosher salt and sea salt have a much, much better flavor than ordinary table salt. Though food shouldn’t taste salty, falling on the other side of the spectrum and using little or no salt makes food boring.

    Also, pick recipes that use descriptive words. Like, "bake until golden brown" or "boil until reduced by half." Don’t freak out if the actual amount of time it takes to reach the desired state is more or less than the time suggested in the recipe.

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    Cooking is a never-ending journey, full of ups and downs. Focus on the journey, not the setbacks. Take everything as a learning experience, apply yourself, and always. taste. throughout. the. process.

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    #18

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    Samantha Lomb
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    in fairness purple cauliflower doesn't often require ER treatment. Being an expert in one thing DOES NOT make you an expert in unrelated fields

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    #26

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    chi-wei shen
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm always thankful that our recipes are metric. The main ingredients are measured in grams or millilitres.

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    #28

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    Anne
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    of course he is your fiancé now.. he proved he was not a vampire!

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    #30

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    LilicatUK
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yes happened to me too. Overcooked pasta, no sauce (or butter, or olive oil, not even even a pinch of salt!). I'm Italian and all my dead relatives were spinning in their graves

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    #33

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    Tabitha L
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I keep a pair of snips in my kitchen. Great for lobster and spatchcocking a chicken/turkey.

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    #34

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    Susan
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Best course of action: ask him to go outside for a second because you have a surprise for him, (just get him out of your house someway). Through your now locked door, yell "bye bye now."

    #35

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    Susan
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Good on you girl, but he wasn't worth a minute of your time. Even better to just leave, warn others if you can, and of course never speak to the creep again.

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    #36

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    Demi Zwaan
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    To be honest, it's the best way to eat a kiwi. There's a lot of nutrients in that skin and it's perfectly edible.

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    #40

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    Sadia Timmermans
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Doesn't a garbage disposal clog up your pipes? In Europe we don't have that... So it's a real mystery to me!

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    #42

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    Samantha Lomb
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think I have sugar. My neighbors came to borrow oil and I said I didn't have any and I don't think they believed me so I tried to give them vinegar instead. I just don't cook much. I'm one person and everything goes off before I can finish it

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    #44

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    Demi Zwaan
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Do you expect a chef to know how to perform surgery? Then why do you expect a surgeon to know about vegetables?

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    #45

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    Koloni
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Maybe should have been more specific. To some liver is a nice piece of meat

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    #51

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    Demi Zwaan
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Is it important that he was straight? Do gay men have an innate ability to cook that straight men lack?

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    #52

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    Carol Emory
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Technically you can do them in oil in a saucepan, but you don't simmer them, you crank up the heat and fry them little suckers.

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    #54

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    Peter O'Brien
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sounds like he is hugely ungrateful towards woman trying to make him happy and instead of helping them he just abuses them instead.

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    #55

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    Koloni
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Complaining because he asked a neighbor for an actual can opener instead of ruining a knife? Wahhhhh

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