“Doing What My Parents Expected Of Me”: 30 People Over 30 Share Their Biggest Regrets

Søren Kierkegaard said, "Marry, and you will regret it; don't marry, you will also regret it; marry or don't marry, you will regret it either way."

Although it can be difficult to get over, regret is a fundamental part of the human experience. So, interested in people's past choices that continue to linger in their minds, Reddit user ThickEmployee8948 asked everyone on the platform who's 30 and older to share the (in)actions they cannot forget.

The discussion that followed serves as a reminder that we cannot change the past — only learn from it.

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Nothing. The person you were back then would always make the same exact decisions given the information you were aware of at the time. I don’t have regrets in life. I can only change now.

PositiveMedicine_4_u Report

Final score:

93points

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Started smoking cigarettes. Did it for about 30 years although I've quit now. Don't do it kids !

sneakysmokey56 , Skylar Kang Report

Final score:

72points

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Staying in shape. It is so much harder later in life to keep up. lose weight and all the rest.

teaisjustsadwater , William Choquette Report

Final score:

66points

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TEETH

Wish I’d Brushed and flossed more regularly, gone to the dentist every six months; etc.

anthonystank , Sora Shimazaki Report

Final score:

60points

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Standing up for myself.

I lived way too long trying to make others happy and letting them manipulate me
My family used this to their fullest advantage
I stopped it now but wish I had the backbone 20 years ago.

BreezinOnBy , Keira Burton Report

Final score:

57points

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This is a little complicated, but I wish I had been able to come to terms with not caring what people think of me when I was younger. It did wonders for my confidence.

DeepDown2332 , Apostolos Vamvouras Report

Final score:

57points

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Not learning a second language—I regret not taking the time to become bilingual when it would have been easier.

Pretty_Foot_6888 Report

Final score:

53points

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Quit drinking. Alcohol sucks and it’s really bad for you. Wasn’t an alcoholic, just got really bad hangovers and anxiety after drinking. Haven’t had a sip in 51 weeks.

fin425 , Michael Discenza Report

Final score:

52points

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Not prioritizing financial literacy—I wish I had learned more about money management and investing at a younger age.

Parking-Newspaper-42 Report

Final score:

50points

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#10

My friends and I talked about doing a 2-3 week Europe trip back in our 20s. “Oh maybe next year”. Eventually jobs, bills and families put all that to rest.

TraditionPast4295 , Malte Luk Report

Final score:

47points

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#11

Not taking my education seriously.

Scarlett-Spider , Yan Krukau Report

Final score:

44points

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#12

I wish I had treated myself with respect, and taken my mental health seriously. I'm doing that now and it's making a big difference. .

Sensitive-Crab-2750 Report

Final score:

44points

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#13

Worked an awful, dead end job for way too long.

celiacsunshine , Tima Miroshnichenko Report

Final score:

43points

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#14

I regret doing what my parents expected of me instead of what I wanted to do.

Fine_Singer_7603 , Emily Ranquist Report

Final score:

43points

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#15

I regret buying into the workplace b******t when I was younger.

Being the 'goto' guy isn't going to put food on the table.

It's not going to pay your medical bills.

It's not gonna get you that promotion.

Unless you have a contract stating *x* will get you *y* do NOT go out of your way to 'help' businesses.

Don't be lazy, but don't be consistently picking up other peoples slack or rushing to put out 'fires'.

thejoker954 Report

Final score:

42points

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#16

I regret thinking that nice things were not for people like me. The number of experiences, travel, career opportunities I turned down is crazy. All because I didn't think I was good enough to deserve them.

tea_ninja , Priscilla Du Preez Report

Final score:

40points

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#17

Wear Sunscreen.

Distinct-Employer-99 Report

Final score:

40points

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#18

I'm currently estranged from my parents. They have the ability to end this at any time, they just won't.

They controlled me all through my childhood and I kept chasing approval from them. I missed out on so many experiences because I wanted to be an obedient good kid.

I wish I had done more stupid s**t when I was younger. D***s, sex, rock and roll. Instead, I was consumed with panic attacks over losing my 4.0 and now that I'm a burnt out gifted kid in my thirties, I really struggle to relate to people my own age.

ceruleanblue347 Report

Final score:

40points

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#19

Dealing with my trauma instead of running from it.

DorkTownPopulationMe , cottonbro studio Report

Final score:

39points

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#20

Not realizing how quickly needing to be an adult creeps up on you. I remember being 17 and thinking 30 was so far away. Now I’m closing in on 40 and wishing I had done more to prep for being an adult.

Dwyde_Schrude , Tara Clark Report

Final score:

37points

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#21

Not keeping in touch with old friends. Thought we’d reconnect easily, but everyone drifted apart and got busy with their own lives.

shinyowll , Helena Lopes Report

Final score:

36points

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#22

Not taking school seriously, not learning to play an instrument, not chosing a sport and sticking to it.

chinchenping , Pixabay Report

Final score:

36points

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#23

Letting fear hold me back from trying new things or taking on challenges—I wish I had embraced uncertainty and failure as opportunities for growth.

Equal_Shoe_7793 Report

Final score:

36points

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#24

Not being unapologetically myself.

ooruin , Min An Report

Final score:

31points

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#25

Not taking breaks to recharge—I wish I had recognized the importance of rest and relaxation for overall well-being.

Legitimate_Knee_8281 Report

Final score:

29points

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#26

TAKE CARE OF YOUR HEALTH BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE.

If you are young and having back issues or any other chronic or not problem you HAVE to take care of this before it spirals out of control. you may think you're tough and push through it now or that they will go away but these types of problems can slowly get worse and worse and creep up on you.

I am currently living with the consequences of this. I feel like I am 90 and I have at least 4 major health issues at the moment and I don't even know where to start. if I had tackled my neck issues when I was younger my life would be a lot better right now.

EDIT - all these stories I feel them. I remember coming to the realization that no it is not in fact normal to have back pain when you're young. I remember having to stop and sit down when I was like 14 whenever I walked any distances. it was like having someone stick a broomstick in your back super hard. I just lived through the pain thinking that it would eventually go away like a moron. I am 30 now and doing the dishes aggravates my neck so badly that I nearly have to lay down after doing them. I am lucky that my situation allows me to be flexible and lay down when I need to.

EDIT - a youngun might see this but ladies out there! I had this friend in high school that had some pain in her uterus and it turned into a living nightmare of pain. if you young ladies reading this have pain in your uterus, ovaries etc or really strange crazy periods you NEED to see a doctor. these things can turn life threatening.

Jashuawashua , MART PRODUCTION Report

Final score:

28points

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#27

Travel. One you have a family, career, mortgage payments, etc, the time, resources and energy for travel just seemed to disappear.

SausageKingOfKansas Report

Final score:

28points

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#28

Not learning to manage stress and anxiety—I wish I had developed healthy coping mechanisms earlier in life.

IndividualTill1933 Report

Final score:

28points

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#29

My grandmother died and left me - and only me - a sizeable inheritance. The same year I had just finished chemo and thought perhaps a windfall was an upswing. I knew my grandmother a little, but I left home pretty early and enlisted after that, so we never had a relationship really - but I got out and away, and the rest of our family were vipers, which was enough to put me at the top.

My brother, feeling left out, challenged the will, and emptied his savings doing so. I offered him half, but he felt entitled to all of it. At the end of it, penniless and desperate, my brother ended his own life. Most of the money was eaten up in court, and what was left wasn't much.

If you ever receive news of an inheritance or windfall, please consider that your family may destroy itself in pursuit of the money. Even if they're going to act that way anyway, you will at least be able to sleep at night.

Agent_Vox Report

Final score:

27points

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#30

Not standing up for causes I believe in—I wish I had been more vocal and active in advocating for social justice and equality.

Top-Percentage-3407 Report

Final score:

21points

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#31

I regret not blocking toxic family members from my life.

Potential-One-3107 Report

Final score:

15points

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#32

Start an investment portfolio or like a Roth/IRA
Even if you only dump $10/mo in it.
Even if your job does one. Start building long term wealth for the cost of a burger.

I was able to pay the down payment on my first house by draining my Roth that I started at 18.

HeadFit2660 Report

Final score:

13points

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#33

I had as much fun as I could when I was in my teens and twenties.

Do I regret spending money I didn't have doing things I shouldn't have because it set me back financially 10 years? no, yes, not really. Would I rather do those things in my 60s-70s when I could afford it? No.

So no, I don't regret it. Do the things if you can while you can because tomorrow may not come for you. That's doesn't mean break the law. It means if you want to take a trip to see what the hell ever, just do. Because once you start adulting you may have the money to do but you sure as s**t won't have the time.

Do I regret breaking my body playing sports and other activities that I am now sufferings through because I pushed my body to an extreme level?

When I am hurting a lot? yeah.

When I am reminiscing about it? No. It was fun as hell.

So while you are young, you do you. Go have fun. As long as the only person you are hurting is you.

Now when you get older and look back and think. "maybe I shouldn't have done that or said that" All that means you are growing as a person. I hope you have those moments before you are 30 but it's never to late to stop being a d**k.

Casaiir Report

Final score:

12points

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#34

Getting married so young. I’m getting divorced now, but I wish I had more single time in my twenties.

Corn619 , Jeremy Wong Weddings Report

Final score:

12points

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#35

Education seriously, travelled more, cut off toxic people sooner, invested in my future and didn't blow money on dumb s**t.

2FeetandaBeat , Vitaly Gariev Report

Final score:

12points

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#36

All the drinking in my late teens into my mid twenties. Who knows where I’d be now if I hadn’t wasted so much time and money getting drunk with a bunch of losers back then.

dick-nipples Report

Final score:

12points

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#37

Kinda the opposite of most people, but I wish I partied more, heh. I worked all throughout college and didn't have that "typical" college experience of going to parties, drinking, whatever.

I kinda did that when I was like 27-29 but that's all I got. By the time I was 30 I wanted to get it together, which I did.

You should never compare yourself/your life to other people, but looking back, my 20s were generally pretty boring when you look at what most other people were doing at that time in their lives.

Shirkaday Report

Final score:

12points

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#38

Asking more girls out, being more fearless and taking more chances.

12whistle Report

Final score:

11points

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#39

Excuse me 30 is still young

But mine would be acting like I'm 30 and not enjoying my teens and twenties like I should.

goblinkate , Samantha Gades Report

Final score:

10points

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#40

Quitting my career to be a SAHM. It had to happen, it was a necessity and thoroughly talked and agreed upon. It just kills me daily knowing I could have been really great. .

WaywardWytch00 Report

Final score:

10points

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#41

I wish I hadn’t treated life like it was a rehearsal. I didn’t do d***s or drink dangerously or do anything exciting enough to be worth the risk, but I lost friends and family by just being selfish. I shouldn’t have been so impulsive or assumed there would always be “second chances”.

Office_Prisoner Report

Final score:

8points

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#42

Investing.

TheBurtolorian Report

Final score:

8points

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#43

Wish I hadn't worried so much about not being in a relationship.

I wish I'd slept around a little more before getting married and having kids.

I regret not doing work on my mental health sooner.

LordyIHopeThereIsPie Report

Final score:

8points

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#44

I did my thesis on regret as a function of age (using a survey with 1400 participants). The overwhelming finding was that regret for things that you fail to do (omission regrets) stick with you much more than regrets for things you did (commission regrets). Furthermore, when we are young, omission regrets are less salient and meaningful. As we age, regret for things we fail to do bother us more while we tend to get over our commission regrets. This is not surprising.

What was surprising was that people with a sense of spirituality find that having regret (regardless of the type) is a useful experience, and they benefit from revisiting or thinking about these things in several domains: making sense of life, fostering social connections, and guiding future decisions.

lovemydogwillow Report

Final score:

7points

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#45

I regret changing degrees in pursue of my idiotic dreams.

Atlantic_Nikita Report

Final score:

7points

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#46

Regret spending my twenties playing video games. I did go to uni and got a degree as well, but there's so much I never experienced because I just sat in my room on my computer all the time.

Freds1765 Report

Final score:

7points

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#47

Psychedelics, regret not doing.

humancanvas79 Report

Final score:

7points

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#48

F*****g around more. Following rules too much made for a boring childhood.

ABC4A_ Report

Final score:

7points

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#49

Not traveling solo—I wish I had taken the opportunity to explore the world on my own terms.

Miserable-Bad2547 Report

Final score:

7points

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#50

Not taking more risks in my career—I regret not seizing opportunities or pursuing my dreams more boldly.

Negative_Plant8163 Report

Final score:

6points

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#51

When I was 30 I was married. We were in the process of moving. The wife had gone on ahead and I would be following in a month after finishing up my job.

Everything was packed up and sent ahead. I was sleeping on an air mattress and had a lawn chair in the living room. No TV. no computer. My only entertainment was library books.

So a few days before I was scheduled to leave I just got so bored of reading library books that I decided to go out. I hit up a local bar, had a good time.

I'd been talking to a couple of college girls and one thing lead to another and they invited me back to their place for a threesome.

And I thought to myself, there's no way the wife could ever find out. I'll be gone in 2 day so there's no way that these girls would ever be able to track me down again. It's perfect.

And then I turned them down, because I'm married and that means something to me. My marriage was worth more than a one time fling.

Anyway, long story short, 3 years later I was divorced after finding out that my wife slept with 5 other men. I kind of regret my choice now.

KnoWanUKnow2 Report

Final score:

4points

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#52

100 sit ups every day.

Thick-Kaleidoscope88 Report

Final score:

4points

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#53

Prioritize making new friends when you graduate from college.

Ok_Acanthisitta5022 Report

Final score:

4points

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#54

Not taking advantage of networking opportunities—I wish I had built a stronger professional network and sought mentorship earlier in my career.

Fun_Bandicoot4362 Report

Final score:

4points

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#55

Starting my youtube channel...I was too scared...Now I'm at 67,000 subscribers after a year and 3ish months...

liliansorbet Report

Final score:

-1point

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What do you think ?

Scarlett 6 months ago

I wish I never had anorexia. I’ve lost almost all the volume in my hair. I wish I’d never tried to OD because now I have permanent stomach problems. I wish I’d not spent my high school wallowing in depression because I missed out on everything, sports, friends, hobbies, first relationships. I wish I’d done better in high school because my GPA from then is so bad I barely got into a community college (I worked my a*s off senior year so I’d pass).

ElfVibratorGlitter 6 months ago

I'm so sorry to hear this. I struggled with anorexia for a majority of my life. You'd never believe it now, I hardly do, but I've managed to have a healthy relationship with food for almost two years now! Wish you all the best. Please hang in there. Sometimes things do get better. Hugs.

3points

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ADZ 6 months ago (edited)

Mine: when you have health problems and doctors dismiss them, go elsewhere. My back is f****d and I will need spinal surgery. All through my twenties I was told "do these physio" exercises that will help. Went to new doctors after relocating. Sent for a scan, doctor couldn't believe the scarring and damage and how I'd been functioning at all. Currently I can't even work.

Sara Anderson 6 months ago (edited)

I wish I had never discovered sugary treats, chocolate etc., and watching tv as a hobby. My family moved just after 6th grade for me, so I lost all my friends, I had social anxiety (not that my mom acknowledged mental health issues) and trouble meeting new people and making friends. So I made friends with cable TV and Little Debbie and her friend - still my weakness to this day - strawberry fruit roll-ups. My mom always had them in the house...and cakes and cookies...because my dad loved them. I gained weight and lost any self confidence I had, which wasn't much, admittedly. I've struggled with my weight, self respect and confidence my whole life. I'm 44 now. My dad had type 2 diabetes before he died at the age of 62 from heart failure when he tried to quit smoking at the beginning of 2018. All this to say, I wish I had never discovered my sweet tooth and hope someday to have it removed so I stop craving sugar the way I do. It'll probably kill me the same way it did my dad.

1point

Thomas Hunt, Jr. 6 months ago

I wish the darn doctors never lied to myself or my parents growing up. Wish I knew I was a natural born eunuch a lot sooner than when I found out. Wish I was never assaulted and ended up a recluse for the last 24 years..... Too many wishes, too much bs regrets. Now my life is f*d up with no escape. I see no one, I talk to no one.

0points

“Doing What My Parents Expected Of Me”: 30 People Over 30 Share Their Biggest Regrets

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