The author of today’s post, for instance, is thinking about offering her mother and MIL some money for babysitting, but when she shared that with her friends, she received some mixed reactions. 

This new mom is planning to return to work soon

She is thinking about offering her mother and MIL some money to care for her child during her absence

To get a more professional outlook on the dilemma, Bored Panda reached out to a couple of experts. Our first expert is Hayley, a mom of three and the face behind the blog called Sparkles & Stretchmarks!

We asked Hayley for her opinion on the OP’s situation, and the woman replied as follows: “As for my thoughts, I completely agree with the OP’s approach and find it very respectful of her mother and MIL’s time and expertise. I feel that as women we are often expected to be of service to those around us with little regard for the demands it places on our time and health, and our skills as caregivers are hugely undervalued – this seems especially true for older women.”

“If the OP is seeking childcare to enable her to earn money herself, why would anyone expect other women to give up their time and skills for free? This has an impact on their hobbies and interests, will undoubtedly cost them money in feeding and providing activities for the child, and will likely be tiring for them. If the request was for an occasional babysitter, this would be different as this is within the remit of ‘family favors,’ but expecting people to commit specific days per week to care for your child for full working hours is a big ask and one that is deserving of at least the offer of financial compensation. If the grandmothers were to turn this down, then of course that’s their own choice, but it’s respectful to offer and I wouldn’t look down on them for accepting.

If we value them enough to want them to care for our children, why don’t we value them enough to pay them for their time? Grandmothers have already spent their lifetimes caring for their own children; we shouldn’t expect them to give up their retirement years for us for nothing.”

So the woman took it online for some unbiased opinions and guidance

We then got some interesting commentary from Vicki Broadbent, the bestselling author of ‘The Working Mom,’ founder of honestmum.com, and Bored Panda’s parenting expert!

“I think it’s polite to offer and to not assume grandparents won’t want payment, especially if it’s a long-term setup. You might want to offer expenses if they decline payment, so a contribution towards food, travel and days out.

By offering first (broaching it gently and saying you hope you’re not offending them), you place the ball in their court, allowing them to decide what’s best for them.

The fact the poster cares about what is best and doesn’t want to upset the grandparents as it’s a delicate issue, shows how considerate she is being,” added Vicki.

Now, Pandas, do you think the original poster is unreasonable?

Fellow online forum members shared their thoughts and opinions