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If you've ever been a part of the online dating market, you know that finding love on the internet can be awkward, annoying, or downright scary. Sure, there are plenty of beautiful people ready to hook up or serve as potential for something bigger. But every once in a while, you get matched with a total rando, who puts you off online dating for a good week. And there's no better way to understand what we mean if not for the 'Incel Pickup Lines' page.

Having just shy of 500,000 followers, this Twitter page delights in the most pitiful online attempts at wooing women. It showcases the most dismal entries as a stark reminder that you can never truly know if someone is a virgin by choice or because they are just, simply put, creepy.

The term 'incel' gained global recognition only in recent years, representing a specific form of contemporary male anger known as involuntary celibacy. This phenomenon predominantly involves young, often white and right-wing individuals who desire romantic and sexual relationships but find themselves unable to establish them.

Frustrated by the absence of sexual and emotional intimacy in their lives, they usually seek solace and reinforcement within toxic online communities, fostering an environment characterized by bitterness and hate. Although in 2017, the 41,000-strong community of r/incels was shut down by Reddit for hosting "violent" and misogynistic content. But this didn't stop them from scurrying to other crevices of the internet.

While the phenomenon of involuntary celibacy has existed in society's shadows for many years - the term itself first popularized in the '90s - it has gained prominence only in the last decade or so. Obtaining comprehensive research on this topic is challenging, but some data suggests that a significant portion of millennial men in the United States, ranging from 15-to-30%, could potentially fall under the incel classification today. 

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In order to find out why these men are so terrible at dating, let alone getting some steamy action, Bored Panda reached out to Brandon Sparks, an assistant professor in forensic psychology at Kingston University in London, who is one of the leading researchers on the subject of incels.

"Part of my hypothesis - which you just don't have the capacity to test, really - was me thinking that this kind of iteration of inceldom rose quite quickly alongside the prevalence and popularity of dating apps," Sparks explained. "Dating apps can be really effective, you know. But you also can be rejected by a lot of people in a really short window. And even someone who's fairly popular might be like, 'Wow, I've never experienced this degree of rejection,' just sitting at home."

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cats_from_the_void
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

*david attenborough voice* and here, we have an example of natural selection in the wild.

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After speaking with a handful of incels about their online dating experience, Sparks was able to discover some fascinating data. "Basically, incels choose a larger geographic radius, wider age range, and swipe right more often on someone. They do it about two-thirds of the time. Non-incel men said they only do it maybe about half of the time," he said. 

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Eric G
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And now women have to give fake phone numbers to businesses because of this bs. I hope she signed this guy's phone number up for a bunch of spam text messages.

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The Other Guest
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"Thinks in my head" gosh and here all these years I've been thinking in my left big toe. I've been doing it all wrong!

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"What's interesting: non-incel men said that they match about a third of the time - incels reported matching about 5% of the time. So despite having cast a wider 'net' and therefore seeing more people, and swiping right on more people, they're matching far far less." He also adds that incels have twice as much chance to be 'ghosted', compared to their non-celibate counterparts.

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Lakota Wolf
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1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"flawnt". My inner English major just shrieked in agony. (I know that's not the worst part of it, but I just cringe extra hard when I see misspellings in already-cringey texts/posts.)

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In the online dating world, which accounts for 39% of couple meet-ups in the United States, physical appearance, height, and social status often serve as prerequisites for initial connections. Offline, many incels struggle due to a lack of fundamental social skills necessary to navigate relationships with the opposite sex.

An internal poll conducted on the website Incels.is revealed that 26% of forum users identified themselves as having some form of autism. For these men, flirting, which requires an intuitive grasp of subtle nonverbal cues and unspoken sexual tension, does not seem to come naturally.

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According to Sparks, the majority of incels gravitate towards fellow individuals who share their "cursed" predicament because they struggle to find understanding elsewhere. He points out that many incels lack a substantial social circle, or in some cases, any friends at all. "Most people have experienced some degree of romantic rejection, but someone who has experienced a normal amount of rejections - but has also had some success - is most likely not going to really understand what it's like to experience that chronically."

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cats_from_the_void
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

would you like to get murdered today? if so, please hang out with him. 'do you live alone' ????

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Lakota Wolf
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Again, I don't understand where this modern type of "roleplaying" came from XD I used to roleplay in AOL chatrooms in the early 90s, but it was fantasy-genre-themed and kept carefully PG by the mods. I didn't see anyone roleplay online like this for years after AOL/dialup internet died. Apparently it's making a comeback, but it's gross and creepy XD

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N Miller
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Oh good, incel *and* racist just for good measure. I can't roll my eyes any more, I've got a migraine

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cats_from_the_void
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Seems you are a ignorant misogynistic jerk who deserves to be kicked in the nuts many, many times. Those women had families and f*****g lives. And one of them was a TWELVE YEAR OLD SEVENTH-GRADER. You are disgusting.

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"They feel like they can't just go out and tell people, 'Hey, I'm an incel' or 'I'm a 30-year-old virgin.' Even though there shouldn't really be any judgment for that," Sparks argued. Part of it, of course, falls on the media's portrayal of these individuals.

"Many feel like they couldn't talk about it because there's some shaming associated with being different. But now, with the way people talk about it, jokes being made about incels - I think it's just made it more difficult for them. It's just gonna push them further underground."

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Kristal
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Omg, right?! One of the fastest ways to lose interest is when someone pulls c**p like that

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CatWoman1014
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sure but it’ll cost you to continue to talk to me. Since I’m a whòre it’ll be $50 per text going forward

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Some guy
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm a straight man, but apparently I should see what a naked man looks like, just to be sure?

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CatWoman1014
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I read the rest of this convo as it was shared on a TikTok I follow and he was asking a lot of questions bc he didn’t really understand non-binary/gender fluid and the person was being an a*s to him. He wasn’t an incel, he was just ignorant and was willing to admit that.

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