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34 Behaviors That Creep People Out Now But Once Were Considered Romantic, As Pointed Out Online
To this day, when we talk about romance and beautiful, sublime love, we often remember the Renaissance, gallant chevaliers, ready to cross swords for the honor of the Beautiful Lady, performing serenades under the balcony of the mistress of their heart...
Stop! Stop, stop stop! So we really think that putting a foot of iron into another person's belly just to impress our crush is that damn romantic? Or throwing stones at the windows of a sleeping girl so that she, sleep-deprived and angry, will listen to us in a bad voice yelling a poorly rhymed song about unearthly love - is that beautiful? It turns out, as this viral thread in the AskReddit community confirms, there are lots of outdated “romantic” techniques.
More info: Reddit
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#1
Courtship that relies on being overly persistent.
It used to be cute to hear stories of "When I first met her she wanted nothing to do with me. I showed up to her job with flowers every day until she said yes and we eventually fell in love!" ❤️
Nowadays, that's just straight up harassment.
LizzieBoredom 7 months ago
As my Grandmama Wilkerson used to say (after she'd had a slug of hooch) "Don't come a knockin' if you be a stalkin'".
#2
Semi-related.
I went out with a girl, and I would get out and open the door for her when we went out in my car. After about the second day, she complimented me on being such a gentleman and that no one has done that for her.
I laughed, then I told her I forgot to tell her the inside door handle on the passenger side car was broken, so that's the only way to open the door.
Well, anyway, it worked I guess. I've been married to her for 12 years and she's the mother of my two kids.
Okay, let's remember one of the most romantic stories of the Middle Ages about the unearthly and unrequited love of the great Italian poet Dante Alighieri for the young and beautiful Beatrice, to whom he dedicated many sonnets and poems. Now let's get a little dry reality: Dante was 19 years old when he first saw 8-year-old Beatrice, but many years later she married another man.
Dante's great and unrequited feeling did not prevent him from marrying another woman, who bore him three kids. However, in none - you hear, in none of his works does Dante mention the name of his wife Gemma, while Beatrice, who by that time had already passed away (yes, mortality was sky-high in the insanely romantic Middle Ages), remained on the pages of his poems until the last years of his life.
#4
Hitting a girl's head with a club and dragging her to your cave.
Now we'll have a time skip and go to not so long ago - about forty or thirty years. How many times have we been presented with some story as proof of incredible love about how a guy was rejected by a girl more than once or twice, but continued to literally pursue her - until he finally achieved reciprocity? Or about how a lover secretly found out the place of work of the subject of his passion in order to regularly get in their way... Now this sounds a bit creepy, doesn’t it?
#7
Forcing a kiss because you just can't resist him/her.
Knitting Panda 7 months ago
That's just scary. A boy did that to me on the beach in Mexico when I was 16. Eww.
#8
When my dad started pursuing my mom at the college that they met at, he went to the records office and got her schedule (apparently anyone could do that at the time) and waited outside of each of her classrooms to walk her to her next class. He did this for like a week. She thought it was both slightly annoying and romantic.
#9
The entirety of the movie "The Notebook" 🤷♂️ just in how he gets his first date at the start of it " Go out with me or I'll lay in traffic until I die" it all goes downhill from there.
LizzieBoredom 7 months ago
If I found Ryan Gosling lying dead in the road, I would put him in my car so I could use the carpool lane.
“Of course, each time has its own viewpoints, and what was completely acceptable a couple of centuries or even a couple of decades ago, today we consider absolutely strange or even creepy,” says Irina Matveeva, a psychologist and certified NLP specialist, whom Bored Panda asked for a comment here. “The evolution of our views is no less impressive than technological progress.”
“We shouldn't forget that morality in the old days was completely different and, for example, any European noblewoman of the Renaissance would have ceased to respect herself if she hadn't had a couple of no less noble admirers who would have fought a duel for her attention. This was the unspoken etiquette of that time. Today it seems strange to us, but... well, maybe in a hundred years our habit of sticking to TikTok will look just as weird..." Irina presumes.
#10
I was led by old films to believe that romance would involve a lot more slapping men in the face and throwing drinks at them than it actually does.
Ąåřţđęşịɠŋȿ 7 months ago
nothing gets me more hot and bothered than a slap and splash... wohoo
#11
Knowing them since they were a kid but you weren’t, like my grandad met my nan when she was 13 and he was 20, they waited til she was old enough but that’s still gross to me, like you’re just sat waiting for the child you love to be legal.
Donteatme666 7 months ago (edited)
Honestly if they'ved been happily married for however long who are we to judge as long as they are both happy 😁. And no laws were violated before hand I personally say mind your own f****n g business . You people really need to ask your parents or grandparents when they got married I think you'd be surprised 🤯 also my parents have a age difference they've been happily married for 35 years so yes s**t happens sometimes and we honestly don't know the circumstances sometimes that's all I was trying to say but to be perfectly honest I don't give a c**p what people think of me either way 🙂
#12
Ordering for your date is not romantic in any way, but used to be considered such. .
Well, if you somehow find yourself in any of the stories presented in this list, you shouldn’t do an instant facepalm. In any case, critical thinking and a sense of humor will allow you to distinguish what's truly romantic from what only seems so. And now, our dear readers, please feel free to scroll this list to the very end and, who knows, maybe add your own ideas and tales in the comments below.
#13
My paternal grandparents were Italian immigrants coming separately through Ellis Island as kids around 1910. They settled in an Italian community near Philadelphia. As family lore has it, my grandfather "kidnapped" my grandmother and kept her out over night. After that, they had to get married.
FluffyDreg 7 months ago
I... I'm sorry but I do want to hear from grandma. Did he kidnap her or was that just an excuse so she could stay out with him? If he dud it's f***d but idk something about how it's written gives Mr the inpression it's one of those "girl wants to say yes but doesn't want to get shamed so says she was forced" I might be very wrong
#14
Being announced at a wedding as Mr. and Mrs. John Smith. That used to be a thing and I always cringed because it felt like the bride was completely giving up her identity.
Also, a woman sitting in the car after you park waiting for you to walk around and open her door.
#15
Wolf whistling.
#16
My dad went on three dates with my mom during basic training. Then proposed to her over the phone from Germany. Flew back to TX, got married, and took her to Germany (she'd never left south TX before). 63 years and still going.
#17
A duel to the death to "win" a woman.
Blue Bunny of Happiness 7 months ago
If only there had been another option they could have chosen…like maybe the woman decides if she wants either of them. Don’t mind me, just a woman having stupid thoughts! #sarcasm
#18
The Japanese old way of proposing which basically translates to, “Will you make me miso soup every morning, fore the rest of our lives?”.
#19
Picking a fight with the man she is dating.
#20
A matador fighting a bull, killing it, cutting it's ear off, and then presenting it (or a bloody handkerchief) to a woman.
There was a story we used to have to read in school that included a matador fight and this happened. Most of the girls just cried the bull [died].
Natasha Arruda 7 months ago
The way they treat bulls in a fight is so crappy, I'd cry over the animal as well. Unless the guy is being jabbed repeatedly with spears too, it's not a fair fight.
#21
Sending unsolicited love letters or showing up unannounced at someone's home
However, in today's society, these actions could be perceived as intrusive or even creepy.
Marnie 7 months ago
Finally one I can agree with. Because people used to ACTUALLY do this. Both men and women might write an unsolicited love letter (especially teenagers), and people just did show up unannounced at other people's homes (whether they were a romantic interest, friend, or family - people often used to do that).
#22
Throwing rocks at someone's window to sing to them in the middle of the night.
#23
Giving her father 4 horses and a mule for her.
Natasha Arruda 7 months ago
I mean if someone offered ME 4 horses and a mule I'd probably say yes, but I'd be upset if they gave them to my parent.
#24
Holding up a boom box outside her bedroom window blasting "In Your Eyes" by Peter Gabriel.
pinkpie 7 months ago
Stalking is despicable. Forceful romantic attention is unacceptable. In the film “Say Anything” the mains fall in love and she breaks up with him solely due to her emotional turmoil due to her complex relationship with her father (which is the main plot of the movie btw - it is not a romance). They are both incredibly unhappy. He tries to contact her, and a last ditch effort plays their song outside her house as a reminder that their relationship is too precious to be swept aside in a crisis. At no point does he stalk her in this film. I will die on this hill. Thank you.
#25
My dad followed my mom across the country. She was doing an internship where he worked and when it was over she had to go back home to Texas. They weren’t dating or anything, she had a boyfriend at the time. But my dad said he couldn’t let her get away so he jumped in his s****y car and drove to Texas.
#26
Breaking into a womans home and leaving her a box of Milk Tray.
#27
Unaliving yourself over a romantic heartbreak.
Natasha Arruda 7 months ago
Too many people still think that Romeo and Juliet was a love story.
#28
Getting married after 3 months of knowing each other.
RagDollLali 7 months ago
My husband and I got engaged after 3 months of dating, married 7 months later. It will be our 8th anniversary this July and still going strong. My parents got married in Vegas after 3 months dating, together 44 years and they're still in love and each other's best friends. What works for some may not work for others, but it's nobody's place to judge other people for when and how they decide their relationship should move forward.
#29
Intentionally dropping a handkerchief and then someone running up to pick it up and return it to the owner. That was still a thing when I was a child.
TheElderNom 7 months ago
I saw a girl try that with her keys in middle school, the guy didn't get it at all (or he was not interested and great at acting) and it was so very cringy. I still get second hand embarrassment just thinking about it.
#31
My dad tried to hit on my mom by asking her a mussel recipe (which in french is very disturbing because mussel/moule is one way of saying vagina). Never understood how they went to have 3 children together.
#32
Putting my jacket down over a puddle.
Firstname Lastname 7 months ago
If your jacket is wet, how am I supposed to put it on later and claim it as my own? Besides, getting lifted over the puddle is far more entertaining to me.
#34
Leaving an offering of purified water and honey outside your cottage on the Vernal equinox.
FluffyDreg 7 months ago
Whats up with this? Is this romantic???? It sounds more like some kind of cultural ritual?
What do you think ?
Cosmikid 7 months ago
To any here who are interested in the real-life mating rituals of Homo sapiens, I recommend the short stories of O.Henry. Not the 2 or 3 still remembered- but get a copy of The Complete Works. There are nearly 400- written around 1902 to 1910; he was as famous as Stephen King in his day, and his stories were in all the current home magazines, e.g. Saturday Evening Post. Most of the stories include romance - and difficult, tangled circumstances. He was an acute observer of the times - a feminist, if you look at it from his day - with a very soft heart. He illustrates many circumstances where "Society" - the social media opinion power of the day - and sheer humanity - do not coincide. He had the wisdom of Socrates, or Laotse. The human heart- is not a subject for facile discourse, or shallow understanding. :-)
Mimi M 7 months ago
You can find some of his stories read aloud on librivox and/or on youtube.
Load More Replies...
Michelle my Belle. 7 months ago
A couple people (a couple too many) saying various versions of "as long as it's legal" in these comments. And here we are folks...the exact reasons why laws had to made. How low would some of you be willing to go if there weren't laws?? That was rhetorical. Please please don't answer.
CalamityOne 7 months ago
"College Humor" has a funny skit covering this subject, splitting between an elderly woman and a young woman, both saying the same lines but giving different vibes between "romantic gestures" and "stalker issues"
Vanessa MacKenzie 7 months ago
The romance books. She says no, he says yes, kidnaps her, forces her into s*x, she has multiple or***ms and then falls in love with her rapist... If he hits you, he likes you. NO, it means he's hitting you and you're at risk of being in a long term domestic violence relationship, as you believe that old rubbish.
C Hendrix 7 months ago
Droit du Seigneur, or the Rite of the First Night, where the King (or whoever is in charge) gets to sleep with every new bride in the community on their wedding night. Probably not an actual thing, but still gives major ick vibes.
Jorge Gonzalez 7 months ago
There seems to be almost no evidence that this really existed. When described in medieval sources is almost always to paint an enemy as barbaric or to justify "post-fact" a rebellion against a noble. Montesquieu mentions it, but it seems it was more to paint the ancient regime as barbaric. One point that makes the existence of the practice suspect is that it runs totally against the teachings of the church.
Load More Replies... Mimi M 7 months ago
The s****y idea of a 'sell-by' date. The equally s****y idea that having kids disqualifies someoene from mate potential. The slurs directed towards women for their choices (s**t, cougar) where men get admiration. The s****y idea of 'sexual market value'. The very s****y idea of manipulation and negging to bed someone.
Cosmikid 7 months ago
To any here who are interested in the real-life mating rituals of Homo sapiens, I recommend the short stories of O.Henry. Not the 2 or 3 still remembered- but get a copy of The Complete Works. There are nearly 400- written around 1902 to 1910; he was as famous as Stephen King in his day, and his stories were in all the current home magazines, e.g. Saturday Evening Post. Most of the stories include romance - and difficult, tangled circumstances. He was an acute observer of the times - a feminist, if you look at it from his day - with a very soft heart. He illustrates many circumstances where "Society" - the social media opinion power of the day - and sheer humanity - do not coincide. He had the wisdom of Socrates, or Laotse. The human heart- is not a subject for facile discourse, or shallow understanding. :-)
Mimi M 7 months ago
You can find some of his stories read aloud on librivox and/or on youtube.
Load More Replies... Michelle my Belle. 7 months ago
A couple people (a couple too many) saying various versions of "as long as it's legal" in these comments. And here we are folks...the exact reasons why laws had to made. How low would some of you be willing to go if there weren't laws?? That was rhetorical. Please please don't answer.
CalamityOne 7 months ago
"College Humor" has a funny skit covering this subject, splitting between an elderly woman and a young woman, both saying the same lines but giving different vibes between "romantic gestures" and "stalker issues"
Vanessa MacKenzie 7 months ago
The romance books. She says no, he says yes, kidnaps her, forces her into s*x, she has multiple or***ms and then falls in love with her rapist... If he hits you, he likes you. NO, it means he's hitting you and you're at risk of being in a long term domestic violence relationship, as you believe that old rubbish.
C Hendrix 7 months ago
Droit du Seigneur, or the Rite of the First Night, where the King (or whoever is in charge) gets to sleep with every new bride in the community on their wedding night. Probably not an actual thing, but still gives major ick vibes.
Jorge Gonzalez 7 months ago
There seems to be almost no evidence that this really existed. When described in medieval sources is almost always to paint an enemy as barbaric or to justify "post-fact" a rebellion against a noble. Montesquieu mentions it, but it seems it was more to paint the ancient regime as barbaric. One point that makes the existence of the practice suspect is that it runs totally against the teachings of the church.
Load More Replies... Mimi M 7 months ago
The s****y idea of a 'sell-by' date. The equally s****y idea that having kids disqualifies someoene from mate potential. The slurs directed towards women for their choices (s**t, cougar) where men get admiration. The s****y idea of 'sexual market value'. The very s****y idea of manipulation and negging to bed someone.
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