In a world where billions of people travel by plane every year, there’s bound to be some drama in the skies. Sometimes it’s mild and other times things really blow up. The least one can hope for when boarding is to have a safe and comfortable flight, and that the aircraft is filled with nice people.

One woman shared how she’s feeling a bit bad about an incident that happened recently. She’d booked and paid for an aisle seat but was asked to swap, by a man she describes as “very, very overweight.” He had been allocated a window seat, which was a struggle for him to squeeze through to. The woman says she politely declined to move, even when an air hostess requested that she do so. After the embarrassment that followed, she’s now wondering if she was being unreasonable and has turned to the internet for advice. Bored Panda had a great chat with etiquette expert and trainer Rosalinda Randall, who shared her views and advice on seat swaps. 

It’s always wise to pre-book your seat if you want to secure the type you prefer

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When one woman was asked to give up her aisle seat to a guy who hadn’t paid for one, she stood her ground

Image credits: pexels (not the actual photo)

Image credits: Foodieasf**k

“No one has the obligation to switch their seat, nor explain why”: an expert explains

Image credits: unsplash (not the actual photo)

“In the scenario of the ample passenger requesting the aisle seat, it was his prerogative and physical comfort that prompted the request; this is understandable. Especially due to the last-minute ticket purchase where he had fewer options in seat selection,” says renowned etiquette expert and author Rosalinda Randall when we asked for her opinion on the matter.

Randall has authored two books and has made a name for herself as a leader in her field. The expert believes the passengers involved interacted calmly and with civility. “The pair traveling together handled it justly and graciously,” she told Bored Panda. “The gentleman accepted the pair’s decision. That is how it should be.”

However, Randall believes the flight attendant could have taken a different approach. “The flight attendant, who apparently thought she was doing her job, embarrassed the passengers by requesting they move to accommodate the heavy-set passenger,” she explained. “In reality, she highlighted the situation that had already been resolved.”

Randall adds that the flight attendant disregarded the passenger’s personal reasons for keeping their seat, and overlooked the fact that they paid for those seats. 

“No one has the obligation to switch their seat, nor explain why they won’t switch,” says the expert. “And the person making the request has no right to expect, or get angry, when they don’t get their way.”

The etiquette expert tells Bored Panda that there are a few cases it’s okay to ask for a seat swap. “Asking someone to swap seats is permissible. However, some may say only after you’ve attempted to switch or purchase your preferred seat prior to boarding.”

She says that asking someone to swap seats may be better received if the seat your swapping is of equal value or better position. “It is okay to ask someone to swap seats if you are seated next to a support animal and have allergies. Or, your purchase was made on an emergency last-minute basis and need to be seated with your grieving partner or child,” Randall told us.

Randall suggests that if someone wants to increase their chances of another passenger complying with their request to switch seats, they begin by asking a flight attendant to make the announcement. “Calmly approach the passenger in the desired seat; politely state your case,” she adds. “Offer to buy them a beverage, or two, pay for airline extras, pay them cash or transfer funds.”

If you’re the one being asked, and you don’t want to budge, Randall says it’s best to respond in a professional matter-of-fact tone. “Like a coworker asking if you’d like to split a sandwich; you kindly reply, ‘no thanks’,” she suggested.

What if they request a reason? “If you feel compelled to provide one, you may say something like, ‘I prefer to stay where I am.’ However, you are not obligated to explain,” the expert reiterated, adding that there are an array of reasons someone might not want to swap seats.

“Maybe you paid extra for the seat, or you often get nauseated, requiring the window seat, or you need the aisle seat due to an active bladder. All reasons that may be too personal to share,” explains Randall. 

On a parting note, Randall told Bored Panda that, “Asking someone to swap seats for lesser seat position is gutsy. Making a scene or making rude remarks when you don’t get your way is immature. If you are dissatisfied with your seat assignment, pay for an upgrade prior to boarding. Expecting a preferred seat assignment without paying for it, expect an eye roll.”

Is it okay to ask for a seat swap? According to one survey, people are sharply divided

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Passengers are sharply divided when it comes to whether you should switch seats with a fellow flyer. One survey found that 54% approved of switching seats, but only if you “ask politely.” But 64% of those polled said they wouldn’t allow it if the person asking said they’re a nervous flyer, while 77% would nope out if their fellow passenger wanted to swap purely because they didn’t like their assigned seat.

Experts say no one is obligated to switch seats with someone else on the plane, especially if they’ve paid extra for their aisle or window seat. But there are valid reasons a person might ask for a seat swap, and one might want to consider saying ‘yes’.

Travel influencer and founder of Love and London, Jessica Dante, told Business Insider that these reasons could include helping someone who is traveling with young kids, someone with a fear of flying, or someone with a disability.

Dante says you shouldn’t ask someone to do a swap for a “lesser” seat. “The passenger being asked should assess the situation, ask what the reason for the request is, and have a look at the swapped seat,” Dante said. “If the swap means a less comfortable seat for you, it’s perfectly OK to say no.”

Travel blogger Ally Gibson agrees. She says her reply to a seat swap request would depend on whether the person asked nicely and whether they’d be offering a better seat. “If the answer to either of these is no, then I don’t switch,” she told the publication.

Airline reporter Taylor Rains says the only time they’d agree to a seat swap is if they get an aisle seat. “I paid for my aisle seat for a reason, so I’m within my right to say no,” writes Rains. “However, I will consider switching if I’m offered another aisle or if it’s an exit row seat where I can get up without disrupting anyone.”

Rains adds that “if you didn’t plan ahead and got assigned separate seats and then need the one I paid for, then that isn’t my problem.”

The frequent flyer says she has made exceptions in the past and would consider moving for a medical emergency, or a little kid who is too scared to be separated from their parents.

The Seattle Times warns that swapping seats on a plane can sometimes result in danger. “Every flight has a manifest with information about each passenger. That can include allergies, special meals or connecting flights,” explains the site. “At best, you may end up with someone else’s in-flight meal; at worst, you could end up using your EpiPen or even forcing an emergency landing because you’re having an allergic reaction to a meal or a nearby pet.”

And when it comes to small planes, seat switching can affect the safety of the entire aircraft. “Before each flight, the crew checks to ensure the aircraft is properly balanced,” reports the Seattle Times. “If you move, you could shift the plane’s balance in the wrong direction, making it harder to fly the plane.”

“It is ok to refuse”: netizens assured the traveler that there’s no reason to feel guilty

“What’s the issue?” Some people felt the post was pointless

“There are far more important matters”: Not everyone took the woman’s side

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