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“People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating, How Did You Do That? And What Was Your Reaction?”
Interview
Cheating is probably the biggest offense your significant other could ever commit. Whether you discover the secret by accidentally reading a text or catching them red-handed, there's no good way to learn that your most beloved person has been disloyal. Not to mention that experiencing such betrayal usually leaves you with a whirlwind of emotions and a broken heart.
So when pugsarelife2 asked the men and women of Reddit who caught their SOs cheating to share their stories, the answers flooded in. More than 14.9K people started telling how they found out that their partner had been unfaithful, and its equal parts hurtful and infuriating.
Prepare yourself for some of the most heart-wrenching stories Bored Panda has collected from this thread. Continue scrolling and share your thoughts and experiences with us in the comments below.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
I found a used condom on the bathroom floor.
I just emailed him a 30 day end of tenancy notice. (I own the house.)
Diane Aguilar 3 years ago
He could've gotten a fleshlight if he wanted a "posh w**k".
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Marco Conti 3 years ago
He could have used the condom to put it on the muzzle of his M1 Garand when he stormed the beaches in Normandy. But most likely he cheated.
Barry 1 year ago
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Adams Good 3 years ago
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#2
I looked at his phone when it went off and saw it was a young girl. Typical conversation like “hey how was your day? Haven’t seen you in a while” sort of stuff. When he came back and I asked him, he blew up and began yelling at me that I was invading his space and he has a right to talk to whomever he wants. He ran out and deleted the messages. I followed and asked if that was his dealer since I thought he was planning to relapse on heroin. He was still super defensive and began arguing with me in front of his sister and her bf so I got up and left.
This went on for a few weeks and I just wanted us to go back to normal. He admitted he cheated and all I wanted was an apology. Our final phone conversation was me saying, “Please just apologize. You don’t even have to mean it, I just want us back together again!” (Mind you, I was NOT in a good place emotionally and self esteem wise.) Divine intervention must have struck me because his response was, “I’m an alpha male, and alpha males do what they want.” And I was so blown away by how far I’d fallen in respecting myself that my first thought was, “Well you alpha single now.”
I do regret looking at his phone, but I don’t regret that it pushed me out of a failing relationship. 3 years later I’m in bed next to my man, replying to a reddit post about a long ago mistake. When we get up, we’re gonna make waffles.
YinzerGhost 3 years ago
There are few phrases that make my eyes roll so hard I pass out, and "I'm an alpha male" is one of them.
DennyS (denzoren) 3 years ago
'I'm an alpha male" is like the biggest red flag. I'm glad she got out and is now happy.
Burs 3 years ago
Thats how my cousin found out that her 6 month husband was cheating on her with several women. She never ment to spy on his phone but she took it once casually (idk to see the time or something) and saw the messages. He was the one who insisted in marrying. Why would you even do that?
buttonpusher 3 years ago
I'd have no regrets. It prevented you wasting even more time with that shitbag.
Adams Good 3 years ago
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While a broken heart can trigger a variety of negative emotions, it can also lead to feeling completely lost. When trying to understand why this happened and where did things go wrong, people often end up blaming themselves for these unfortunate circumstances.
Being cheated on is a painful and shocking experience, still many couples (yes, even the happiest ones) face it quite often. What causes people to stray from their loved ones and have an affair in the first place?
A 2017 study revealed that there are many distinct factors that motivate relationship infidelities. Researchers used an online survey to ask 495 young adults who self-reported their infidelities to provide the reasons why they cheated.
#3
A friend of mine was suspicious of her husband cheating, as he went to "play soccer with friends" way too often. He always came already showered as he would sweat playing. One day she sewed his soccer socks toghether, and when he came back all showered she saw the socks were still sewed, so he wasn't playing soccer at all.
A B C 3 years ago
Lol, true that. I'd imagine his wife wanting to put a foot to his balls too, though...
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DennyS (denzoren) 3 years ago
That's smart. I used to play soccer a lot at uni but thankfully...I was actually playing soccer. Lol
Diane Aguilar 3 years ago
And I'm sure you came home with a dirty football kit instead of your dirty... never mind.
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Craig Reynolds 3 years ago
I really want to know the conversation that ensued. Dying to hear his excuse. Oh, I played barefoot because the grass was so soft...
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#4
I was in the Navy and was out on deployment for 6 months after just recently getting engaged (it's one of those stupid things that young military guys do). One day i get a letter from my fiance's best friend telling me that she caught my fiancee and her BF together (this was years before email and smartphones were common). We write back and forth several times and eventually it comes out how she caught them, how my fiancee begged her not to tell me, and that the fiancee didn't know that we were corresponding.
I eventually get back to the States and planned to play it off as though I didn't know, but too many of my friends intercepted me with the news that is wasn't just the one guy, but several, and let me know that she knew that I was aware. Eventually we met, and the confrontation was minimal and tame. We broke off the engagement without a lot of drama - she kept the ring.
The best friend and I ended up hooking up, at first as sort of a revenge-f*ck kinda thing, but turned serious.
We celebrate our 32nd wedding anniversary this year.
buttonpusher 3 years ago
Hopefully it was cheap. And it can be a reminder of how she f****d up.
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royal_antelope 3 years ago
why didn't she give the ring back? i thought that this would be human decency.
Terry Tobias 3 years ago
An engagement ring is given in contemplation of marriage. She would have been legally instructed to return it if he had pursued action. Hope he didn't spend too much money on it.
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AlbertoLuis 1 year ago
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Adams Good 3 years ago
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In addition to previous research indicating that dissatisfaction, neglect, anger, and sexual desire are key motivations for infidelity, the data from this study revealed additional factors: "Lack of love ('I had 'fallen out of love with' my primary partner'), low commitment ('I was not very committed to my primary partner')."
Plus, "esteem ('I wanted to enhance my popularity'), gaining sexual variety ... and situational factors ('I was drunk and not thinking clearly')." Of course, these factors don’t explain every single case when a partner has cheated but they help us understand why people choose to do it.
We reached out to Gary W. Lewandowski Jr., Ph.D., a professor in the Department of Psychology at Monmouth University and the author of Stronger Than You Think: The 10 Blind Spots That Undermine Your Relationship…and How to See Past Them. He was kind enough to share some insights about infidelity and its effects.
#5
I owned a house with my fiancé. I woke up in the middle of the night and he wasn’t in bed. I went searching. His truck and another vehicle were in the driveway. Then, I went upstairs and found the guest bedroom was locked. After barging my way in... I found him with another woman in bed. That bed happened to be my childhood bed. He forced me out of the room... literally grabbed me by the neck and pushed me out and closed the door back. I knew I couldn’t do anything at that point, so I called his parents who lived a few blocks away. His dad showed up and another fight broke out. I ended up leaving and staying at his parents until dawn. I moved out that weekend and let the house foreclose. 9 years later.. it’s finally off my credit report, I’m happily married to an amazing man and we own a beautiful home together.
Space whale 3 years ago
Can you imagine being cheated on and then being CAUGHT IN THE ACT and acting like it's their fault. IN THEIR BED
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DennyS (denzoren) 3 years ago
The nerve of this man, also...good on his parents for helping her that night.
Kishibe Angelo 3 years ago
wait so his parents let you stay with them because of what happen meaning the parents are nice people and this guy is the biggest dickhead of all time
Diane Aguilar 3 years ago
Sometimes parents try their hardest to raise good children but end up with one or two terrible jerks. I have a feeling this guy constantly gave his poor parents headaches and heartaches and hope they disowned him and ended up living a happy, content life with their remaining family members.
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Kathryn Baylis 3 years ago
Hope you took the childhood bed, but left the mattress behind for your ex and his squeeze.
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#6
I caught my wife after she passed away from cancer. Worst feeling ever. Caught between unending love, mourning and absolute anger.
Katie Lutesinger 3 years ago
Reminds me of "Contagion". "How are we going to break it to this poor guy that his now dead wife probably caught the virus off the man she was cheating on him with??"
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While discussing the reactions people have when they witness the disloyalty of their loved ones, the professor said that it’s impossible to plan an ideal response since "cheating feels like the ultimate betrayal."
"The emotions are just too raw," he explained. "That said, though it may initially feel better to be vengeful, individuals rarely look back at those reactions favorably. Though difficult, it’s better to take the high road and be thankful that you got out of a relationship with a person like that (you dodged a bullet)."
Lewandowski thinks that people who are sharing their stories with others can truly benefit from it: "There is a lot of research showing the benefits of writing about traumatic experiences."
#7
We got married when I was 17, and he was 21. He was shipping off to sea, and I was escaping a bad home life.
When he came back after his deployment, he wasn't the same person anymore. After about 6 months, he gained weight on purpose to fail his physicals so he'd get kicked out of the Navy.
Fast forward a year, I'm working full time, and he is sitting at home, watching anime and drinking during the day, and telling me that he "was applying to jobs".
I was applying to universities when my laptop died on me. I asked to use his to finish an app, and while doing so a message popped up on his FB.
A topless pic of his ex, from her. I was shocked and opened it to find that they'd been dating for a loooong time (started again while he was at sea in the Navy, he would talk to her and never to me, saying that he never got the time to email).
She had sent him a pic because he had said how he missed having big tits like hers to play with, and how mine were just too small so he felt like he was f*cking a boy or a child.
I confronted him, he made a bunch of pitiful excuses. I had my friends come to the house that day and kick him out while I went to work.
He then stalked me for the next few years, and made posts on his FB about how I was a coward, he sent emails and called from blocked numbers to tell me that "a restraining order is just a piece of paper" or that 'our vows before God made me his property' and sh*t like that.
Then he bought a gun, and started telling our friends that "if he cant have me no one can".
I ended up talking to our friends, and told everyone conflicting information about where I was going, and moved states. I deleted all my personal social media accounts and lived in fear for years, watching him continually make memes about how he loved his wife and would do anything for her.
It took 8 years for me to finally get the divorce from him.
ZAPanda 3 years ago
you need to share the threats of violence with all your family and friends and his current partner. Everyone must know he is a danger. I hope you reported that to the police as well.
Seabeast 3 years ago
She probably did. The police are sometimes useless for this sort of thing.
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WilvanderHeijden 3 years ago
If the guy kept contacting her despite a restraining order, she should have gone back to court and demand that the order be enforced. No better way to tell people that they aren't above the law than a month in prison.
Raven DeathShade 3 years ago
17? Hate to say it, but you were FAR too young to get married. And this is from a 17 year old who really wants to be. You need more time to be a kid before you try to be an adult. You need more time to expand, to learn, to grow, to be your own person before you learn to be yourself with someone else.
Rebecca O’Donnell 3 years ago
You are right, 17 is too young but to escape a bad home life you grab onto anything that looks like a way out.
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deanna woods 3 years ago
This guy didn't want to be a husband, he wanted to be a slave owner. I hope that he has finally gotten the message to leave this woman alone.
ThEboRedEsTpANdA 3 years ago
'our vows before God made me his property' yeah right. I hate people who think like this
Pamela Blue 3 years ago
He obviously didn't read the clause about "except for unchastity." Adultery is a safe reason for divorce in God's eyes, so this guy was full of it anyway.
Load More Replies... Marco Conti 3 years ago
Wow. In situations like that, if it was my daughter, I'd tell her to buy a shotgun. With death threats and stalking, and only "she said he (the dead guy) said" should be pretty easy to erase this human stain from the face of the earth. Also, as an ex-soldier, people that intentionally find ways not to serve after they volunteered don't get any points with me. I have 1000 reasons not to join the armed forces, but once you do, it's not the "Book of the month" club. You gotta do your time.
Danielle Terese 3 years ago
It sure shows our culture’s misogyny that we don’t have much tighter gun laws. This is not uncommon. In my own family, a family member’s ex tried to murder her at her job. This happens too often.
Tom De Paul 10 months ago
3/4 of all divorces in Maricopa County (Phoenix) are completed without lawyers.
Load More Replies... Sophia L. 1 year ago
Yeah, he was literally f*cking a child, he married a 17 year old. F*cking pedo.
Tom De Paul 10 months ago
I highly recommend dictionary.com or perhaps Wikipedia.
Load More Replies... #8
I found out he had signed up for a bunch of apps. Such as Ashley Madison, Tinder, and Bumble. He would messages mutual acquaintances asking if they’d be up for massages, etc.
I blamed myself for years that he wasn’t interested in sex with me because I’d had a baby and gained a little weight. Nope. He just enjoyed contacting other woman for sex more..
We’re in the middle of our divorce now. He doesn’t understand why I’m wrecking our marriage because of a few indiscretions.
Pheebs 3 years ago
Hmm. I dated a guy that was already signed up on some singles sites when we met. Knew him for years - work thing. He was hitting up other girls on the singles sites the whole time we dated. He told me he deactivated his accounts or the site, but found out from a friend’s sister that his profile was active on one. The idiot was also responding to emails from one one morning when I was at his house. Eh, no loss with that dude. He didn’t want a girlfriend or wife, he wanted a mommy to tell him how to live and pick up after him.
Danielle Terese 3 years ago
I love how it’s always the person setting boundaries against abuse who is “ruining things.” So glad she’s not falling for that crap.
Valerie Smart 3 years ago
Isn’t it amazing how the cheating spouse/partner can do no wrong and blame everything on you and go crying to others that it’s you who is ending the relationship instead of owing up to their own b******t?
Sunny Topia 3 years ago
Her husband is freaking stupid and idiot. I bet he doesn't even love her... she deserve better TvT
"By writing, individuals are able to process their emotions more thoroughly and see the situation from a new perspective. It’s a cathartic process that lends greater objectivity. Writing about painful experiences like this can be difficult, but it’s worthwhile."
If you’re thinking about how to overcome the pain, he said that "it’s important to realize that a partner’s infidelity says more about who they are as a person, than it does about you."
#9
My first long-term girlfriend and I were going to go to the same college. I got accepted, but had to start the semester after she did meaning we would be slightly long-distance for a few months. It wasn't too bad because we were only about 2 hours apart so it was pretty easy to visit, but our relationship did struggle a bit. I remember one night I got a phone call from her and when I picked up it was obvious it was a butt dial. I could hear her talking to some guy, but couldn't make out what they were saying. I called her and she picked up and I asked what was up? She said she was in bed about to go sleep. I told her about the butt dial and she said it was her friend Jack, who I had met, asking to borrow something. I thought it was odd but brushed it off. A couple weeks later I was up there visiting her and I met a bunch of cool people, including this guy Luke. After I got back from visiting I get a Facebook message from him saying, "Look man I hate to be the one to say this, but I think you're an awesome guy and you don't deserve this to be happening to you. She's been cheating on you with this guy pretty soon after she started here." I was devastated, but I had to hear it from her, so I called her and said, "Are you cheating on me?" She gave a heavy sigh and said, "Well, at least I don't have to lie anymore." That guy's voice I had heard wasn't Jack, it was the guy she was cheating on me with, I just trusted her so much that I took her word for it. Even though it was painful, I was grateful for Luke sending me that message. What's funny is that most of the people I met up there that were her friends sided with me after the break up, so when I started going there that next semester I had a group of friends to support me and most of them are still very close friends of mine to this day.
Happy_Pandalover 3 years ago
that sucks. But great to see he found lifetime friends instead :).
Marco Hub-Dub 3 years ago
I’m torn about LTRs that begin so young that they happen before college. It seems to me that college is the time to experiment and expand horizons outside of one’s hometown bubble and hopefully discover what is true comparability. If a relationship at such a young age ends because of distance and expansion of one’s world view, it seems it may be for the best. It allows the time and space and experience to hopefully find THE one, if such a thing exists.
Tom De Paul 10 months ago (edited)
But you have a conversation, make the same points you are, and end things amicably. You don't cheat.
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Stephanie IV 3 years ago
Love isn't a contract. Sadly. You wouldn't wish anybody to stay just out of a sense of obligation.
AlbertoLuis 1 year ago
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#10
My ex husband and his family smoked a lot of pot, still do. His sister, kids, and nanny were visiting from out of state for a few weeks. When it was time to fly home they left their stash at my ex MILs house because they didn’t want to take it on the plane. My ex asked if I would pick it up because I was nearby. Stupidly I agree. I don’t smoke and I was willing to carry it in my car for him. To my surprise I found a note from the nanny to my ex saying she was in love with him and she was so happy for the time they had together. Obviously she thought he would get the weed instead of me. While it was incredibly painful at the time I am definitely living my best life 15 years later.
DennyS (denzoren) 3 years ago
Sometimes it may seem like the biggest heartbreak of your life but in the end you're in a better place and away from what could have been a really bad relationship.
Carol Emory 3 years ago
I would have put the pot in his car when he returned sans the note and called the cops to report him. When you go to see him at his arraignment, hand him the note.
Susan Williams 3 years ago
I cheated on my fiance and confessed, telling him I could not marry him because of that. He wanted to get married anyway. He never forgave or forgot what I did. I paid for it for almost 20 years of stress.
According to Lewandowski, being cheated on is a serious violation of trust but you should not let the effects linger into your future relationships: "The natural reaction may be to close yourself off and put up walls so that your next partner can’t possibly hurt you in the same way."
"But doing so also robs you of experiencing all the best parts of being in love. Get back out there, be vulnerable, trust again, and find the great relationship you deserve," he added.
#11
He broke up with me after 8 years together, seemingly out of nowhere (I look back and see the signs now). He told me I was the cause of his severe depression, I had no clue he was even suferring with mental health issues. Obviously I carried a huge amount of guilt knowing I was the reason someone didn't want to be alive and took the break up really rough.
Our cell phones were on the same bill and it would get sent in the mail. 3 months after we broke up I had the thought to check through the calls list, there was a number he was calling at all hours of the day/night every day. Decided to look back through previous bills from when we were together and sure enough same number and same volume of calls as far as 6 months prior to our break up. Called the number and a woman answered. Confronted him and he fessed up. I had a very hard time processing the fact the someone I trusted for 8 years would purposely make me feel like I was an awful human, when it was actually him all along.
Cold Contagious 3 years ago
A narcissistic gaslighting dickhead, who had positioned himself with his new source before making his partner feel like she was the soul sucking monster that he was barely escaping with his life. When in fact, it was him that is the soul sucking monster that people need to escape from.
Load More Replies... Carol Emory 3 years ago
That's what cheaters do..they make it your fault. If you have a spouse or partner that suddenly starts complaining about your appearance, your habits or personality...and your other friends think he's wrong...you may have a cheater on your hands that's paving the way to make you the excuse why they were "driven to it."
deanna woods 3 years ago
Abusers and cheaters always tell the person that they are hurting that it's that person's fault. They don't want to take responsibility for being the one that is causing the problems.
Sasacy Freddy 1 year ago
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#12
The husband of one of the women he was cheating on me with called me at work. At first I didn't believe him and hung up. How could the man i spent the past 8 years with,had 2 beautiful babies with, suffered together the loss of one of those children do something so hurtful?? Still a part of me had doubt. He had affairs in other relationships and we had a rocky patch early in the beginning where I suspected an affair but didn't have proof. I told my boss I felt sick and had to leave early and I called this guy back and found out that my ex and his wife along with one of their friends were all sleeping together for about a year. He had confronted my ex and told him that he was going to tell me but my ex convinced him to wait a month since my mother had just died. I took my time coming home and confronted him and told him to pack and leave. Since I've pieced together a lot of what happened and all the lies he told me where if I was in a different headspace I might have caught on to the affairs earlier. I also found videos hidden on one of our computers and found out he was having bootycalls in our apartment while I was at work and he was watching our daughter. At that point it put the headstone on any possibility of reconciliation.
BorPand8 3 years ago
Well, sorry to say this, but "He had affairs in other relationships..." was all you needed in order to know that he's a cheater.
Nicess 3 years ago
True, but people always like to think that people change.
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deanna woods 3 years ago
The icing on the cake for me is that he was having affairs with the child in the house. There's no telling how that affected her.
#13
June 1, 2018. Normal day. A Friday. My husband had kissed me goodbye and gone to work. I was cleaning the house for company who was coming to stay the weekend. The doorbell rang. There was a man at my door who introduced himself as the husband of a woman who my husband worked with. He was there to tell me that my husband and his wife were having an affair. He had busted them about six months prior and had told his wife that she had to end the affair. He thinks that she did end it...for about three months, but then they started up again. When he found out they were at it again, he called my husband (because he knew if he confronted him in person, he'd be in a jail cell for what he'd have done). On the phone, he told my husband to leave his wife alone or else he would come and tell me everything that was happening. Apparently, my husband thought that he was bluffing.
So I was literally the last to know. My husband never came home again. He got an air b'n'b and a lawyer. The divorce was December 21, 2018. We had been together for 24 years. Still hurts.
Nicess 3 years ago
Just think of the relief of not spending the rest of your life with this piece of chewed gum.
Lyone Fein 3 years ago
This sounds very painful. 34 years is most of anyone's adult life. And older women have so many self worth issues when a marriage breaks up.
deanna woods 3 years ago
It's understandable that this still hurts. You were the last person to know and you didn't even get to confront your husband about it.
Valerie Smart 3 years ago
Been there... it hurts but you’ll get over it and live your best life .
#14
The story is remarkable in that it happened before the internet was widely available, in the very early 90’s, when the world seemed much bigger.
My fiancé (Meg) had one semester left of college that had to be taken as an internship abroad for her major. She chose to go to Belgium for this internship. I stayed back & the plan was that I would set up house & when she returned that summer, she would move directly in & we would set a date for our wedding. So, while Meg was off in Europe, calling every couple of weeks to check in, (the long distance was super expensive back then) sending me postcards & letters, I moved in to a brownstone, bought furniture, etc...
About a two weeks before Meg was supposed to return, I stopped in to a nearby coffee house that I had noticed down the block, but had yet to visit. To my surprise, I found that my neighbor from growing up in a completely different city, Claire, was a waitress there. We hadn’t seen each other since high school, so we made a plan to meet up after her shift for a cup of coffee to catch up. We met & Claire told me that she was engaged as well, to a man, Ben, who was completing his course of study by working on an internship in...you guessed it, Belgium. I couldn’t believe the coincidence, & told her about my fiancé, & that they HAD to know each other. Crazy, right?
A couple days later, I stopped in for a cup of coffee & Claire looked extremely upset. She asked if I had time to wait, as she had a break coming up, & that she needed to talk to me. We went outside & she told me that she had gotten a call from her Aunt Sue the day before. Aunt Sue had just returned from Czechoslovakia, & that something very strange had happened. While they were touring Prague, Sue & her travel group had stayed in a local hotel & the next morning she had run into Claire’s fiancé, Ben, in the lobby...with a female companion by the name of Meg. She said that he introduced her as a student from America, that they worked together, but it was very awkward & they both looked scared sh*tless.
Claire said that she immediately called long distance to Belgium, & after several tries over the course of a day or so, got him on the phone. She asked him about the chance encounter & he said he had been kind of expecting her call, & ended up admitting that he had been seeing Meg pretty much the entire time they were in Europe, spending weekends & holidays traveling around with each other. I was floored. Couldn’t believe it.
I went home & started trying to call Meg at her dorm in Belgium, finally getting through to her late into the night, early morning for her. I point blank asked her if she was dating Ben. I didn’t even explain how I knew about it. She hemmed & hawed for a moment, kind of acting like I was crazy for saying something so nonsensical, but when I said that I knew Claire, she dropped the facade & admitted to all of it.
So Ben & Meg had a very bittersweet homecoming. Meg got off much easier than Ben, as Claire had already left all of his belongings on the front lawn, from the day she found out, which had been pretty picked over by the time he got back two weeks later. I did pick Meg up from the airport, I think at the time I really just wanted to see her face when I told her that all of our friends knew what a piece of sh*t she was, & that I never wanted to see her again.
To this day I revel in how many utterly astounding factors of complete random coincidence went in to Meg & Ben (who later married, then later divorced after he cheated on her) being caught. The universe works in incredible & mysterious ways.
Christina Rosetti 3 years ago
Was anyone else hoping that the OP and Claire got together in the end?
deanna woods 3 years ago
Of course, Ben cheated on Meg. If they cheat with you, they are going to cheat on you.
ThEboRedEsTpANdA 3 years ago (edited)
If they cheat with you, they're very likely to cheat on you. It's just a fact, and Meg should've known that
#15
4yrs ago I was dating a girl who became distant and disinterested in a lot of things we both enjoyed together. Despite attempts to talk about it, she only grew more distant then became less available to hang out and suddenly was working late a lot. I started getting suspicious about cheating when she was on her phone nonstop. Again I tried to talk about it but she wouldn't engage. She also just didn't want to break up with me for whatever reason.
I was actually going to end it on my own, but one weekend when she was seemingly unavailable, some mutual friends told me they spotted her with a dude from her work and they were all over each other. Coincidentally, she had also lent me her ipad and it was synced to her phone so I saw lots of texts between those two over that weekend. They were talking about running away together, etc.
He was married and her supervisor. Mutual friends were also composed of her coworkers and reported them to HR. They were both forced to do training on not sleeping with coworkers, they were both denied promotion, his wife left him, and she moved overseas.
Sucked at the time, I was devastated, but karma got them good.
Amy Sadler 3 years ago
just because people find someone else dont mean they are bad....s**t happens
Tom De Paul 10 months ago
Then you be an adult you claim to be, sit down, have a conversation, and end it amicably. Cheaters are bad people.
Load More Replies... #16
This is almost word for word how the convo went:
Me: you sleeping with so and so Her: yea Me: wanna divorce? Her: kinda Me: ok I’ll file tomorrow
John Smith 3 years ago
Can't help thinking that the divorce was coming and she just wanted a way to draw a line under it saying, done.
Sunny Topia 3 years ago
Lesson learned. If you no longer love him or her, better to tell the truth and leave.
#17
He went to Hawaii for a business trip without his wife and kids. Like a good wife, I packed his clothes before he left and unpacked his dirty laundry when he returned home. I found a tiny pair of white cotton panties (no lace) in his suitcase. He had recently dropped a lot of weight (>100 lbs) and played it off that he had bought them for himself .... they had no label and were simple bikinis so theoretically could have been men's as well. It did sort of explain the pretty brunette that followed him off the plane at the airport and kept looking at my kids and I at the luggage carousel (what an ass to make his side piece come face to face with his wife and kids). I made sure he wore those panties at least once a week for the remaining few months we were together (I set out his clothes everyday and he couldn't protest).
El muerto 3 years ago
wait...did she kept laying his clothes out? and he kept wearing them? this is a higher level of denial, is like denial master class.
Grumble O'Pug 3 years ago
No, genius, that's a cat playing with its prey masterclass.
Load More Replies... Christina Rosetti 3 years ago
Who sets out their grown husband's clothes every night? He's not your child, but you're certainly treating him like one!
April Stephens 3 years ago
My grandma always laid out my grandpa's clothes before he passed away. It was cute. They were in a country music band together, and their clothes would match for performances. But I think she laid out his clothes all the time.
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Barbara Skolly 3 years ago
My mom helps my dad pick his clothes daily, hes colourblind so u less its black pants and a shirt he needs help
E Menendez 3 years ago
I am sure she doesn't need to lay out his underwear too. That is a different situation vs this man-child who needs it all laid out for him like she is a servant.
Load More Replies... April Stephens 3 years ago
As far as I have seen at stores, you don't buy a single pair of men's white cotton underwear. Where's the rest of the pack?
E Menendez 3 years ago
High end stores allow for single pair purchase. Not saying I think the underwear were his.
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#18
Very unhealthy relationship. He was emotionally very abusive and I was in a terrible place with my mental health.
I found out at the ultrasound to determine the gender of our child. He was late and I was noodling on Facebook waiting to be called.
He was tagged in some photos in my news feed from a gig he’d been at on the previous weekend. Random lass was in all the photos of him and they were all over each other. Also they were making out in the background of one photo.
He turned up after I was called in. While the technician was printing the images I told him I knew. He went off and on about how I was making it up, he’d never do that, obviously I was lying to compensate for cheating on him and so on. When I pointed out there were photos he stormed out and left me there.
My Dad had turned up during the appointment (anticipating that he’d react badly if we were having a girl, which he did, that was scattered through the cheating denials) and took me home.
I considered us broken up at that point and stopped all contact except texts related to the pregnancy.
Mostly I was relieved. I had concrete evidence that it wasn’t in my head and I finally managed to escape that relationship.
Little Wonder 3 years ago
Her daughter has a great granddad though! In the sense of a grandad who is great, not her grandads dad.
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Faith Love-robertson 3 years ago
It is his sperm that carries the X and the Y chromosone to determine sex of offspring. The female carries only XX - so if he's pissed ( which is ridiculous) he has only himself to blame.
Demi Zwaan 3 years ago
"anticipating that he’d react badly if we were having a girl". How can you get pregnant with a guy like that, knowing he doesn't love the child but just the gender? It's a human being you're making, not a gameconsole or something!
MSD 3 years ago (edited)
Respectfully asking that you do some reading on abusive relationships: how people get into them, why they stay, and how incredibly difficult & dangerous it is to leave one. I do understand how flabbergasting it can feel as someone on the outside. As a DA survivor, I can tell you that I lived in constant survival mode, but my decision making abilities were deeply broken. Fear and love can co-exist and hope is a very powerful thing that I used to cling to like it was a life raft when it was really just an anchor.
Load More Replies... A B C 3 years ago
I know this will get me downvoted, but you don't determine the gender of your kid. You determine their sex.
memyselfandI 3 years ago
The idea that “gender” and “sex” could be two different things instead of synonyms is very new, and OP probably just hasn’t decided to go with the new gender-fluidity idea. If you’re not raised with an idea like that, it’s very hard to unlearn. Besides, until the kid is old enough to decide they want to choose their own gender, you’ve got to call them something.
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#19
My (now ex) husband demanded constant access to all of my social media and cell phone messages and was constantly accusing me of cheating even though he had no reason to think I would do that. I had nothing to hide. Never even thought of cheating. I was watching our young kids 24-7 and didn't even have transportation since he "accidentally" totalled my car. One day I handed over my phone for him to check for other men and asked to see his. He hesitated but then handed it over. There was a long, sexual, text history with one of the teenage girls who works for him. He tells me he's in love with her and wants her to move in with us. I was in total shock, dropped his phone cracking it. He retaliated by breaking my laptop. He's a wonderful man and I miss him every day sarcasm
Dorothy Parker 3 years ago
This is getting more common, with thrupples becoming acceptable in some places. Good the OP didn't give in.
Animelover13ฅ(• ɪ •)ฅ 3 years ago
Thrupples are ok as long as all people consent to it I think the problem here is that the girl was a teenager
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Hi, I'm Mars! 3 years ago
Sounds a lot like my ex husband, right down to dating teenage girls. He'll be 47 this year and is dating 18 year olds. One of these girls sent him some sappy, lovey-dovey BS card to MY house. He'd been using my address so if any of these girls got "obsessed" with him, they'd show up at my house, where I'm, you know, raising our son on my own. My son cut off contact with his dad when he turned 15 and is legal by state law for the child to decide if they want contact with a parent. My ex was super abusive, both physically and mentally, to both of us. Good riddance. I honestly sometimes feel bad for the teenage girls who get sucked in by his charms only to find out later that he's an actual f*****g monster of a person.
Marco Conti 3 years ago
Projection. There is a lot of that going on today. He was cheating, so he assumed you were too. I mean, he could cheat, obviously, because it's him, but you, not you. I understand cheating. I don't do it, but I understand the impulse. However, I'd feel like a worm if in the process of cheating on somebody I put her through hell for cheating on me. Who does that? What kind of person are you?
Valerie Smart 3 years ago
it’s amazing to me when these assholes do this like they living out their dream fantasy when in reality they are probably breaking 24 kinds of laws and for them to think their side piece gonna stick with them through thick and thin ... amazing. (Heavy sarcasm)
#20
My ex husband was sleeping with his best friend’s wife while I was 8 months pregnant, it had been going on for a while.
I was 8 months pregnant with our second child at the time and he wanted to go visit his brother for the weekend. I asked my doctor if it was safe for me to travel and she said it would be fine. I told my husband I could go but he said he was really hoping to just have some time with his brother, I understood because a new baby really makes it hard to spend quality time but I asked if he could take our older son (3yo at the time) so he could see his grandma and cousins. He said they were planning on drinking and whatnot and wasn’t sure it would be a good idea. (They’re country boys so think shooting, drinking and whatnot) I agreed and he left for the weekend. After he left I get a call from his best friend telling me that he’ll be in town for the weekend and he wanted to meet up, not weird he called me because my husband was terrible at answering his phone. I told him unfortunately my husband was visiting back home, bad timing. His best friend then said ok, I’m going to call you back. And hung up very abruptly. Turns out my husband and his wife had been caught by him a few months previously and he gave them a chance to make it right...I don’t know why. He didn’t tell me but threatened to if they didn’t stop. Well, they didn’t stop and he told me. I think the worst part was that my husband’s family knew and never once thought to tell me. These people were my family for 5 years and nothing. It’s been almost 10 years now and I’m so much happier but it was definitely an eye opening experience.
DennyS (denzoren) 3 years ago
Oh wow, the worst part really is that they kept it a secret from her. Damn. I hope she is doing well and her kids.
Lyone Fein 3 years ago
If other family members knew, why wouldn't they try to intervene, and get him to stop?
Holvnn Olive Ntivuguruzwa 3 years ago
Sometimes you can't find words to explain a wife that his husband is cheating on her. Bce most of the time you become the enemy of the family until the wife finds it her self.
#21
My buddy works at a hotel and called me saying that my wife just checked in with another guy
Nicess 3 years ago
Damn! I would ask the friend to lend me a uniform and go to the room with a bottle of 'complimentary' champagne, then BAHM! Got you bitch!
Hi, I'm Mars! 3 years ago
That's the most devious and beautiful plan I've ever heard of!
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WilvanderHeijden 3 years ago
So the friend gave him the time to change the locks and contact a lawyer for divorce papers and a restraining order. That's what friends are for...
#22
My best friend caught his ex cheating in a really funny way. She was super sly in talking to the guy and they used a shared google doc to talk to each other, my friend didn't realise until he asked to use her notes for a class they had together. He noticed a doc called "Slycooper" which piqued his curiosity and he realised what was happening when he read it. So he started f*cking with them, whilst she was in class and wouldn't be able to access the doc he would leave weird messages for the other guy and then when the guy responded he would delete both the messages he sent and the guy's responses. He also figured out when the guy would respond as it was a pretty standard pattern and did the same but the other way around. Eventually he set it up so that they both thought they were going on holiday together with the other paying for it, tbh I don't know how he pulled that off still but his ex was as bright as a lampshade so it's definitely possible. Fast forward to the day of the "holiday", he sees his ex and the guy meet up for their romantic weekend away and starts arguing about why the other hasn't bought tickets etc. He then texts his GF to look at the google doc and it just says go f*ck yourselves with a selfie he took with them in the background. I wish I was there to see the reactions.
Lushpapaya 3 years ago
So they never talked in person about the vacation in person? seems like a figment of someones imagination
Foxxy (The Original) 3 years ago (edited)
My dad married a Chinese woman that couldn't speak a word of English. They had only communicated online using a translation messaging thingy. Married her a couple of weeks after meeting her in person. The whole ceremony was in Chinese so my dad has absolutely no idea what was said. She moved here with her son. My dad and my step mum have been together for over 13 years. So something like this doesn't surprise me.
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Niffler_13 3 years ago
I have a hard time believing this one. Google Docs time stamp everything and you can see when the last edits are, and go back and look through the previous history, including what has been deleted.
Brittany Kluever 1 year ago
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#23
He took a phone call from her in front of me and because, I guess, he thought he was being slick, he started flirting with her in front of me.
He ended up sexually harassing me after the relationship was over and I got him in hot water for that. He never did it again and was told if he even talked to me again, he’d get fired. I ended up leaving that job a few months later.
Cold Contagious 3 years ago
His balls are bigger than his brain. That will be his undoing in life if he doesn't change his strategy.
#24
My friend found a mask he had never seen before on the balcony. Only in 2020 folks
#25
I knew he had been unfaithful in the past but I didn’t really love him so it was not that bad. However, I was bartending one night and this drunk chick walks up and tells me that I looked familiar. She then proceeds to yell, “oh my friend is f*cking your husband!”. So I walked into the beer keg cooler with a bottle of vodka. I downed some shots and went back to work. I held it in that I knew for a few months while I hired an attorney and figured out my next move. I had three kids to think of too. So I moved with my kids back home to Texas and got divorced. Now, I’m engaged to my childhood best friend and we plan to marry in Yosemite next year. He’s the complete opposite of my ex. Kind, supportive, and loving. So f*ck that sasquatch looking cheater!
WilvanderHeijden 3 years ago
So she married a cheater that she didn't love anyway and was surprised when she got cheated?
Alan Green 3 years ago
I take it more proof was found? Not sure I'd trust the words of a drunk stranger.
#26
We were together for 5 years, living together for around 4. I came home from work early. When I got out of my car I saw her peek through the blinds to see who was outside. I walked in the door to her coworker on the couch, obviously uncomfortable and clothes messy and her locked in the bathroom.
I wanted to pummel the sh*t out of him then and there, but he was a trained MMA fighter, and I woulda left the house that night with more than a broken heart. Went to a friends house for a while.
They started dating the next day. It took a while for me to get trust back in relationships.
Kathryn Baylis 3 years ago
Not to mention keeping his credibility in court.
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AzKhaleesi 3 years ago
Reminds me of a meme, "if my man (or woman) is talking to you than I know he /she gave you their number. If (They) are spending time with you then they invited you. It is not the responsibility of the other person, I will never be mad at them it's the responsibility of my (partner) to be respectful and honor our relationship." I totally agree UNLESS the other party also knows that they are in a relationship and still agree to all of the above.
Susan Williams 3 years ago
I had heart break that I thought would kill me when I found out my husband of 20 years was cheating. I have been happily single for the last 40 years. It is difficult for me to understand how really sick with grief I became over that man's unfaithfulness. Why can't we just pick up the pieces and carry on in an amicable, divorced manner? Why do we get so overwhelmingly stricken with sadness?
Great Panda Mamu 3 years ago (edited)
I don't get why people want to blame the outside person. Sure the coworker was part of the cheating (and likely knew she was in a relationship), but the fault lies with the girlfriend. She was the one who made the decision to cheat. She is the one who brought the coworker to their home and violated their relationship. His anger, though not the violence, should be directed at her.
BorPand8 3 years ago
Well, I wouldn't want to attack them and find out. Seems like a trained martial artist might not be more apt to start fights, but would know how to finish them.
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#27
She confessed to her mom... Then mother in law called her other daughter and told her...Sister in law then called me and told me, she let me listen in on a three way call to her mom and tried to convince mom to tell me but she refused which basically confirmed it.
#28
I was at work and tried to call my boyfriend, but he wasn’t answering even after a few hours, and I just got a horrible feeling. It stressed me out so badly for some reason that I started to cry and my boss let me go home. The whole way home I just kept feeling serious dread. Walked in the house and into my bedroom, and he was laying in bed half-clothed with some naked chick.
Obviously a huge blowup went down, and after everything settled, this motherf*cker tried to tell me that he went to the movies alone and met her there and she “followed him home.” Like, even if I believe that this person just followed you home and got naked, you let her do it, so what’s the purpose of saying that to me? It was a sh*tty abusive relationship, and it didn’t even end then. I eventually broke up with him but not on the spot like I should have. If I could change anything about my life, it would be that I wish I broke up with that guy sooner. That was over ten years ago though!
Space whale 3 years ago
Ah yes the ol' she followed me home, entered my house, stripped, took MY trousers off, got in bed, dragged ME into bed and -last but not least- made me have sex with her
Boudica 3 years ago
😄 Yes, I hate it when that happens - messes up my whole daily schedule!
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#29
I didn't catch her, she told me and told me I wasn't a real man and that's why she did it. She just told me everything she hated about me, went on to why I'm worthless pulled over, kicked me out the car and I had to walk back to my place.
As far as my reaction went. I went home, cried, went to bed, stayed in bed for a few days, thought I was a terrible person for a few weeks, cut my holiday leave short and went back to work early to get my mind off things.
DennyS (denzoren) 3 years ago
That's horrible. I hope you seek help or therapy. Don't let her make you feel worthless.
Nimitz 3 years ago
"Real man" was something that screwed me up growing up. Such an impossible standard. So glad it gets called out these days. Made me feel like a failure for not looking like an action hero and not being talented at every single thing I tried. Not just looking perfect, but BEING perfect. Oh, and rich too. Let's not forget about the financial pressure of being a "real man"
Katie Lutesinger 3 years ago
And then there's the whole BS about "real men" never showing emotion or talking about their feelings, which is insanely unhealthy and cruel. One guy my father knew was having financial issues and some trouble with his marriage, and rather than asking for help he took his own life. 🥺
Load More Replies... JesseGreenWendy 1 year ago
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#30
This isn't my story, but my parents. My mom had a boyfriend when my parents met, and she broke up with him to be with my dad. Fast forward ten years or so my parents are married with two kids: my older brother and me. Anyway, she travels for work semi-often and she started taking trips to see her "friend" in Chicago. I was young enough that I don't really remember when it started, but my I noticed that my dad was really irritable on these weekends. I think I was about twelve when I realized what was going on. I figured it out before my brother did. I used to sit at the top of the stairs and listen to my parents argue. I don't even remember if I heard something that gave it away, if it slowly dawned on me as I grew up, or if one day it just hit me. It's always just been a part of my life that my mom lies. Still is. My dad used to beg me to not say anything to her that I knew because A) he was desperate to keep the family together and 2) my mom would get on his case for getting the kids involved. No joke. One day, during the summer after I graduated high school, I came home from work to find my mom in the garage loading up her car. I asked her why she was putting blankets in her car and she got quiet for a moment and said "well... I'm moving out." I just went inside. Later she texted my dad that she had moved to her brother's house. That's how he found out. They were married for twenty years and she sent him a f*cking text message. I don't know if she was planning on telling me at all if I hadn't happened to come home when I did, or if she would have just disappeared. There have been times when she left without telling me she was going somewhere. I'd realize that I hadn't seen my mother in a few days and ask my dad where she was and he'd be like "Oh, she didn't tell you? She's in 'Montreal' for a week." Or something like that. So anything possible.
Dorothy Parker 3 years ago
You can divorce your spouse. That shouldn't mean you're divorcing your children.
Susan Williams 3 years ago
I found out, much later in life, that my mother, a successful career woman who broke many glass ceilings. was a but of a s**t. She loved to flirt with the guys and cheated on my dad. I am not sure he ever knew but one of her male coworkers told me after she became old and sick and had to come live with me. I was really upset about it but it has lost its sting over the years.
Ellie Rosser 3 years ago
Yeah, sounds like "keeping the family together" really made for a happy healthy home life.
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#31
I caught my ex husband cheating as an accident, we had gone to work in the evening and I couldn’t get into my office due to a building screw up, so he let me in his so I could print something. He went for a walk to get his “steps” in. As I was on his computer I realised it was logged in to Facebook. I just had a feeling. I looked in the messages and he had been chatting with a woman he met in another country via our work. I copied all I could and confronted him when he returned, made him take me for a drink and told him there would be no reconciliation. He was shell shocked and I told him to go home and pack a bag. That was 6 months ago and I’m really happy to have lost the dead weight. He was a difficult man, emotionally abusive, but I lived my vows and tried to help him as much as I could and reorganized my life around him.
#32
Classic love at first sight. I love you after 2 weeks. Moved in together after 2 months. Engaged after 6. Been together for 4 years and change. Left my rent control bachelor pad and Picked a bigger apartment so she could have her art studio. Did everything together and split all bills 50/50. We had different jobs in the same industry and made around the same money. We really loved each other and, as cliche as it sounds, completed each other: I am very analytical and stoic and she is a liberal artist. She goes to ComiCon in NYC (she is an expositor) I help her pack. I drop her at the airport. Everything was fine. No signs of anything. She should be back in 4 days. She never came back home. She Simple disappeared. Ghosted. The day she should be home I freak out that she may be dead just to find myself blocked on everything: email, phone, social media, the works. Everything I know is due to the bills she left behind (all unpaid) the credit card we shared (she stopped paying 2 months before) and her cell phone bill (which T-Mobile was nice enough to give me a log because technically was on my SSN). Found one particular NYC area code over and over on the call history and put 2+2 together. She met him on San Diego ComiCon few months before and methodically and systematically put together a plan to abandon me, take as much as she could to NYC and never look back. Plot twist: she maxed our credit card and amazon card furnishing their new home in NYC. By the time grief turned into practicality it was too late for me to cancel everything. I literally had to log in and see all purchases of houseware, made with my money, for a house I will never live in. I could not live at our house or afford our lifestyle in one income alone. It was a good 6 months of Blackout drunk, tinder and overall self loath. I am sure I caused damage to other people in the process. It wasn’t even the love part that hurt me the most but the flat out betrayal and economic damage (took me over an year of living paycheck to paycheck to get all balances to zero).
Alexander Smith 3 years ago
I met someone like that I am still paying for the financial abuse.
Dre Mosley 3 years ago
Wow. I wouldn't be able to trust for a long time after something like that.
Cold Contagious 3 years ago
That's one heinous b1tch! People can usually take heart that if they do it to you with someone, karma will often find its way to them. We can definitely hope so.
DuchessDegu 3 years ago
That's awful, and I'm lucky it never happened to me, but I wouldn't have joint accounts unless there was no other way, we have everything separated (current, credit cards, savings etc) and I just transfer half of the money for bills to my partner.
#33
Was dating a girl during college. Took her on a vacation to the beach where I had planned on proposing to her as we had been together 4+ years. While she was in the shower checked her phone looking for something. Saw several pictures of her making out with someone from her college. Had apparently been happening for several months. Was an awkward drive home for sure. Dropped her off at the airport the day after ending things. She ended up becoming an anti-vax and essential oils believer so dodged a bullet there.
WilvanderHeijden 3 years ago (edited)
Besides being a cheater she became anti-vax and an utter fool? Seems like you dodged a nuclear missile.
#34
I lived in a house with my best friend and my girlfriend, I was working one night at my pub and got a phone call from my best friend to the works telephone as I don’t answer mine whilst I’m working, apparently he came back from grabbing a few drinks with his work colleagues and found my now ex in bed with another man, my friend being completely wasted decided that he didn’t like that and wound up throwing some naked Indian guy down the stairs and beating the hell out of him once he reached the bottom, I immediately came back and rushed from work to find the police at the door with the Indian guy in the back of the cop car wearing his boxer shorts and cuffs being attended to by a medic and my mate sat in the front room talking to the other officer, he was let off with a caution as it was an “understandable” reaction even though he was drunk. I am honestly so glad to say that he still lives with me because otherwise I would’ve never found out
#35
I couldn't find my then wife after she got off work one afternoon/evening. I tried to call her cell phone with no answer. She didn't show up to the house until 9:30 pm. She weaved some tale about getting stuck in traffic. I did some sleuthing and pulled the State Farm good driving app up which tracks your movements. I found out she had been leaving work early, going to the nearby rest area off of the expressway, and having sex with a 20-something trucker she met at her previous job. I decided to interrupt the festivities one afternoon. I showed up to the rest area, parked in front of his rig, and jumped right up to the door. The cabin shade was drawn. I withdrew the shades and saw my loving ex wife with a meth pipe in her hand and was going to town on this guy. He had the gall to tell me to give them privacy. I didn't handle it very well. I called the cops, they both were arrested for possession, and I promptly filed for divorce. The icing on the cake is that a few months after I left, she cheated on her new trucker friend and is well on her way to her 7th "friend". God speed, you wet, musty nightmare.
#36
She walked dogs for work. She said she was going on late night walks. She's f*cking dumb though and had her pictures synced to the kids iPad. Daughter asked me "Daddy, who is this?" So kids and I left to go see my mom, after her denying it up and down. Get a nest notification that there's movement in the apartment. Open the app, the guy is there and she's taken down all the family pictures. Got to hear and watch them have sex. I could only sit and breathe very heavily in anger. Call her, she denies it, says she's at work. I found out who he was through her Facebook likes. Messaged him all of our family pictures I had just spent $500 on, he just sent back a thumbs up and blocked me. Find his "business" website (life coach, LMAO). Email him, he writes a huge apology email saying she lied to him. Tried to forgive her for the kids. It's a Saturday morning I want to take the kids to the park together. She has to "work." Still has her iPad synced to her phone. We get back, kids want to FaceTime grandma. I open the app, I see she called him when she was at work. Finally fesses up. Huge fight, then she blames me. A wife with a good husband wouldn't cheat. Then she hits me in front of the kids, throws my phone and keys off a fourth floor balcony, because it was my fault. I moved out. Not a day goes by where she doesn't beg and plead for us to get back together. Now love is trauma for me, and I cannot let anyone love me without me assuming something sinister is behind it. I don't care about her at all, and it makes me want to throw up every time she tries to speak to me. It sucks because I have to deal with her the rest of my life for the kids.
#37
Went for my yearly check up and tested positive for chlamydia. Turns out my ex was sleeping around.
B-b-bird 3 years ago (edited)
Heard so much about this way of finding out. One girl had her husband cheating on her through all of their marriage. When she found out first time, she was pregnant with their first... and had chlamydia. Marriage survived but then she found out again. She was pregnant with their second and begged him literally to "at least wear a condom" when he is cheating on her, so that her pregnancy would not be in danger (it's crazy, right?!). Lo and behold! He gave her chlamydia while she was pregnant! AGAIN! What a scum! Crazy enough at that time I was in a relationship where I suspected my SO to cheat on me, that is why we were sharing our struggles and talking about these things. She was convincing me that it is OK, all men are cheating! that's how she told me her story! I just could not wrap around my head. She's still with him.... and I confirmed my suspicions and happily moved on.
El muerto 3 years ago
been there, she got a letter that somebody she had sex with recently had test positiv, so she should text herself. well, did the math and thinking back, I should have seen it...happily I was negativ...went into a happy depressiv bender and jump throw relationships like a monkey...at least the last woman that cheated on me had the curtesy to use a condom...life is a fun an horrible water slide to old age
#38
Not me but sister in law, she was 7 months pregnant and her husbands phone was going off during the night. She picked it up and looked at it when he went to the bathroom and it was a text from a girl talking about how excited she was to be a step-mom.
WilvanderHeijden 3 years ago
Guess that SIL immediately filed for divorce, asked for single custody and had a restraining order against the "step-mom" for her baby. At least, that would be my advice to her.
Carol Emory 3 years ago (edited)
My MIL once called me to complain about my SIL (youngest BIL wife.) She said she was tired of her constantly yelling at the kids...tired of her spending all her money from work on frivolous stuff when they had bills to pay...tired of her constantly taking off for trips to New Jersey and Virginia to see friends and family. She said "Now she's in the garage, sitting in the car with her cell phone. She doesn't even come in to see the kids." I told her she's having an affair. She stopped...said "I'll call you back tomorrow." She suggested to my BIL what I said, he confronted SIL...she confessed she'd been seeing a married man for a couple of years. They split up, she goes to Virginia to be with this man...he told her he had no intention of leaving his wife...he fessed up to his pregnant wife and she forgave him. Now my Ex-SIL is living with the brother of the guy she was having the affair with. Meanwhile...my BIL met the girl of his dreams and got married.
#39
Worst one I know of is an acquaintance of mine, came home from work one day and found his missus having sex with his dad. That blew up all over Facebook, and became a local drama fest where people tried to organise a shunning of the dad and missus. I remember it well because, well... I know people cheat, but with your partners father? Come on...
#40
It was a day before my 18th birthday. My boyfriend told me he had planned to take me out in his mazda pickup truck that we named Sparky and get some food from a bigger city down south... Make a whole evening of it. Went to school. Had a good day. Nothing was off. Came home and waited. Called and no answer. Waited. I got home from school at 330pm and it was nearly 930-10pm before i gave up. I got on the computer and found out through a mutual friend from school that he was at this other friends house. We were friends with her and her homelife wasnt the greatest (her parents were nasty disgusting people who treated their children like punching bags), and this mutual friend had been talking of moving out with her little brother in tow. I got in my moms car, drove over there and found them having sex on the living room couch. I went home. Told my mom he wasnt allowed in the house, i wasnt accepting his calls and i was going to bed. I told her what happened and that i just wanted to deal with it in the morning (these days i went to bed early and woke up early). Next morning he came over like nothing had happened and greeted me. He tried to hug me and i backed away. He asked me what was wrong and I told him that he had missed my birthday night out because he wanted to get his ding dong wet in so-and-sos woman parts. He accused me of stalking him. Cheating on him. Being a controlling b-word. Tried to do what is now called gaslighting. I told him i was done. He made his bed with her and now he gets to lay in it. That because he liked her better, obviously they needed to be together. I told our mutual friends that we had broken up due to some disagreements, mutual friend hr was inside of decided to spread it around school that she was a better lay than i was. So yeah....
#41
Funnily enough the girl he was cheating on me with actually told me. She messaged me at 3 in the morning asking if I was still with my ex and I said yes he’s asleep next to me, why? She told me what happened, sent me screen shots and I grabbed his phone. I believed her but ya know just wanted to see it all for myself. I left the room and looked through it all, he didn’t even try to hide it. I went back in threw something at him to wake him up and confronted him, of course he played dumb. Said he didn’t know who I was talking about blah blah blah. Then I said oh ok well maybe this will jog your memory and pulled his phone out of my pocket. The look on his face was priceless. He knew it was over. I screamed at him, called him every name under the sun and then he left the house. This was a year ago and then a few months after that I’m being told that he misses me, f*cking pathetic.
#42
Not me but my cousin caught his fiancée cheating. He was away every few weeks for work while she stayed at home, doing nothing and refuse to find a job. One day, he decides to come home early from the work trip to surprise her for their anniversary. He came home and found her f*cking some guy in the shower. They didn't hear him come in to the house or the bathroom. The first thing he did, he took out his phone, took a photo of them having sex and send it to her mother. A class move it you ask me :D he then dumped her and move on.
#43
Visited my long distance bf over spring break in Nebraska since he was stationed there. Before knowing anything, I ended up meeting and having lunch with the girl he was cheating on me with (I sat next to her and he sat across from us) and his coworkers/friends and hung out with the same group twice more. I could tell she didn’t like me but I brushed it off since I was there for my ex and could care less about her feelings toward me. Later in the week, I asked if I could send a text from his phone to one of our mutual good friends and saw walls of texts from her giving him an ultimatum to end our relationship. My ex and this girl had also been texting throughout the week where he’d called her the same pet names he called me and he’d call her the most beautiful woman after she’d send him her outfits/selfies all while being in the same bed/room with me. He ended up ending their relationship and we decided to work on ours. I flew back home, he continued seeing her and having sex, gaslit me every time we FaceTimed making me feel like I cheated on him, and after 2 weeks of indecisive battling on the status of our relationship, I broke up with him. No one is worth the mental gymnastics that comes from being cheated on.
June 3 years ago
Reminds me something... I was ~21 and visiting my new bf. We are going to a concert with some of his friends, and there is this girl (~17) who gives me cold looks and stares at me. Long story short, we manage to contact each other soon and find out he was dating both of us (and me in front of her!). We planned some sweet revenge together, no idea if she did anything but pretty sure she did. 10 years later, I'm in a bar and I spot him performing (he is bassist). Later we talk a bit, his gf is here (and damn cute). I was a little bit drunk, so I tell her I'm pleased that she is so open-minded and tells her that if she wants some fun she can call me wink-wink 😂 then I walk away. In the same night he stormed on messenger to tell me how I screwed up his relationship 😬 Man I just thought she was ok with your kind of flex 🤷♀️😂
#44
I had told him I’d be at his place at noon to do laundry (in my machines). I get there, unlock the door, and the chain is latched. I called and texted several times before getting fed up. Guess he never realized that the chain was useless because all I had to do was slide it up to unhook it. Walked into his dark apartment and saw a purple water bottle and her purse on the couch. I knew instantly what I was going to find in his bedroom. I’d had a feeling for months that something was going on and this was the proof I needed. I felt overwhelming relief. I starting recording on my phone as I walked down the hall, opened the bedroom door, and flipped on the lights. They were snuggled together under my blanket, asleep. They woke up and she smiled at me like a cat that had caught the canary before covering her head with the blanket. He glared at me and rolled over. I shut the lights off, grabbed my stuff, and went back to my car. The three of us worked together (they’re night shift) and I sent the video to everyone in our department before I left the parking lot. He assumed I was too meek to retaliate so he had one hell of a surprise Monday afternoon when he strolled in to work. I found out that day, from his mother, that I was not the first woman he’s done this to. It was actually so bad in his hometown, that he had been forced to move across the state to get away from the death threats and angry husbands. Would have been nice if she had warned me before it happened to me too.
#45
I honestly had no idea she was cheating on me. I just walk in on her and one of my good friend doing the do on my couch. I was shocked and hurt and I didn't know how to react i was angry and broken. I guess, I just turned around and drove 28 hours to my mothers house. I really don't even remember driving from California to Texas, it was all a blur. My mom said " I was pale white and I slept for 3 days" And i never looked back. Was a waste of 5 years but I learned alot from my time with her and I doubt I'll ever be able to fully trust someone again tho.
#46
It wasn’t a big dam-breaking moment. It was a lot of little things. Like how she’d cancel plans at the last second. Or the random phone calls from unknown numbers she’d get (this was back before spam calls were an epidemic), or how her phone was mysteriously off one night when I needed to get a hold of her.
I had my suspicions and then finally it clicked into place when I did some Instagram snooping and found a guy who followed her who posted a selfie wearing a very unique jacket that belonged to her.
I confronted her the next day. She denied it. Tears. Begging. All of that. I dumped her and walked away. The next day I messaged that guy on Instagram and he confirmed everything. Had no idea I existed. He dumped her too.
Last I heard she’s an EMT in Utah Wyoming. Hope she figured out how not to be a garbage person.
#47
Ex-wife actually asked me for her blessing to commit adultery with another married man. She was shocked when I said I don't support it, she went ballistic (has severe mental health issues), went and did it anyway and ended up in a psych ward. 2 marriages ended and now the two cheaters are engaged. Little devastated at first. Blessing in disguise.
#48
All these answers are about people who caught their spouses cheating, however I briefly became the “other” woman (unbeknownst to me) and it’s never sat right with me. I was young, single and going through a family crisis (sibling unexpectedly passing). I met a guy who was fun and great and very “busy” which was exactly what I was looking for as I was grieving and didn’t wAnt anything serious. 4 months of romance later I find out he’s actually married with small children. We were with his colleagues after work at a bar and a coworker asked him where his wife was. I kept my cool, didn’t make a scene but once drinks were over I obviously brought it up and said how terrible that made me feel. I ended up just ghosting him after that. I wasn’t in the mental state to deal with any of the fallout so I just stopped replying to messages. I should have contacted the wife but I didn’t want to bother playing relationship police. At the time I was under a lot of stress and grief and had my own problems and emotions to deal with. It’s been 5 years and I always feel so terrible for the wife whenever I think about what happened. Sometimes I feel like contacting her and telling her what happened but I don’t know if it’s the right move or even worth it.
Sarah Spencer 3 years ago
This one I can relate to. I had been seeing a guy for over a year. Relatively long distance, and whilst I had fallen pretty hard and he was incredibly affectionate, caring and very obviously into me - there was plenty of time apart due to work, hobbies and family commitments. He made me incredibly happy. Before our second Christmas together I tried to get him to commit to us getting some proper time together and he was enthusiastic. But days before Christmas he suddenly changed the plans and told me I had "got the wrong end of the stick" and he hadn't made any plans to see me. Christmas came and went. And in the New Year he confessed the "ex" he'd spoken of wasn't exactly an ex. That they had now bought a house together and he couldn't see me any more because it was causing HIM too much stress. He went on to explain I was one of many girls he'd cheated on her with, and he'd never meant it to go so far, bit he wanted to leave the girl he had just bought a house with. The whole thing was really confusing - and even more so later on when he did actually leave his long term girlfriend but then immediately get into a whole new relationship with someone else who proceeded to start sending me abusive messages warning me not to ruin her PERFECT relationship. I wonder. I blocker them both and anyone associated with them. if she thinks it's so perfect now he's had time to lie to her like he lied to the rest of us!
John Smith 3 years ago
I have been the other guy before, usual story. Single guy in a bar, attractive lady says "Hi". We chatted and had drinks. Before I knew it we were kissing and, yep, ended up in bed. The relationship went on for about a month before I realised that she was very cagey about anything outside of work. I knew almost nothing about her private life. So I looked for her on facebook and found her. With her husband. I felt really betrayed. I didn't want to be the other guy, so I messaged the husband on facebook and explained the situation. No idea what actually happened, but I never heard from her again.
Diane Aguilar 3 years ago
If you get involved with someone already in a relationship and you don't know they're in that relationship, you are absolutely blameless. I'll forgive this person for not telling the wife because they were in a terrible mental space at the time, but normally it'd be good to at least attempt to reach out to the partner being cheated on to inform them about what's going on. If said partner decides to stay in the relationship or not believe you then so be it, at least you tried your best and can move forward without that cheater in your life.
Cold Contagious 3 years ago
It's refreshing to see that someone has a conscious and decided not to actively participate in cheating. I'm of the opinion that if you're in a relationship with a person who thinks you're monogamous but you choose to cheat, just leave. It's not fair to be someone's backup plan, just be single and live your life.
emer the unreal 3 years ago (edited)
this happened to me too. met a guy in a forum, he totally pursued me -i was reluctant (he lived across the country) but eventually i was like, "ok, let's try this." he came to visit me. it was ok, not great. i figured we didn't know each other very well and some awkwardness would be normal. i went to visit him. same thing, awkward, not great but not terrible. his grown kids were definitely not into me and i found oldster porn searches on his computer. (i wasn't old, but his neighbor next door was and she kind of treated him like a husband). i came back from visiting him and he disappeared. suddenly gone from the forum, not responding to emails etc. then one day he roars back in all drunk and starts screaming at me . i had no idea why. turns out he was married. they were separated due to his drinking. i got some emails from mutual friends telling me he was going to kill himself. i said that's fine. i still wonder about the oldster porn though.
DuchessDegu 3 years ago
Same, I was the other girl, I knew he had a kid with his "ex" and they were in good terms because of the child, of course it didn't bother me, it was actually endearing. Make plans to move in together as we lived 10 hours away, I went back home after a holiday together, quit my job, pack my things, booked plane ticket etc. He wasn't answering phone or messages for days, so I was worried something happened. Track down his boss, explain everything and he went very very quiet for a bit and said "oh my God, I'm so so sorry, I'll get him to call you straight away". He EMAILED me saying he was away on his honeymoon with the mother of his kid, but that's ok, I could still come over and live nearby as he only married her to be able to be in the kid's life. Yeah, f**k you. That was decades ago and I still have trust issues.
#49
I found a picture on Facebook of him with a newborn baby, captioned by the other woman, “handsome husband and cute baby, I’m so proud”. We’d been together for 9 years and our kids were 6 and 8.
WilvanderHeijden 3 years ago
So he was a bigamist. She could have sued for compensation for the mental pain, suffering and trauma.
#50
Caught my ex cheating with our neighbor about 5 years ago. He had been hiding his phone screen when I would walk by. She even had the balls to knock on our door once and ask if she could borrow him for some construction work she couldn’t finish.. he was gone for like an hour. Then he forgot his phone at home one day so I checked it out. Had been sending her “good morning beautiful” and “good night” texts every day for months. When I’d go to work he would text and say I was gone and they needed a “Jeep date” which was code for “let’s go f*ck in your Jeep” I went outside and waited for her to get home where I was ready to drown her in a f*cking puddle, unfortunately for me she had her twin boys with her... never exacted my revenge on that wh*re.. I just told her she’s lucky her kids are stopping me from curb stomping mommy... He sped home when he realized his phone was with me, ran up to the front door where I was waiting, and I used his forward momentum to help me break his nose.
Cold Contagious 3 years ago
I was hoping she wasn't going to get the blunt of the blame, considering it's OP's ex's responsibility to keep it in his pants or not.
#51
He left his Facebook open. I saw his messages. He was telling his ex he was single and invited her to a wedding
#52
I caught my ex sexting a chick and telling her how he missed her on my birthday. I was young at the time and reacting with crying and yelling. If it ever happened now I would just get up and leave. No point in trying to mend the relationship because its near impossible to gain the trust that was lost.
#53
I was married. Out of the blue while at work I get an email that says (husbands name) ‘s wife. When I open the email it lists off a name and says (husbands name) married to her. Check on Facebook (English was not the first language, this was overseas) So I do and what do I see? Tons and tons and tons and tons of pictures of a woman with my husband. The woman and her kids with my husband. The woman and her family with my husband. I was stunned to say the least. It was October 6th 2017, 7 months after I almost died from an ectopic pregnancy. Yep we were trying at that point to have kids. After work I went home and started throwing all of his stuff in the dumpster. He was out of town at the time so I had plenty of time to do it. Spent all of Saturday and Sunday throwing EVERYTHING he owned in the dumpster. A month later I moved to a new apartment and waited until then to tell him I was divorcing him. He then k*lled himself a few months later
Cold Contagious 3 years ago
I may be downvoted but here goes. What he did was unforgiving, traumatizing, and contemptible, but it didn't warrant a death sentence. I'm certain what she endured was gutwretching and made her question the most basic fundamentals of life. But I think for some people it could only add to the trauma of the entire experience, for him to take his own life. He much more deserved to live in the destruction he created and endure whatever all those consequences may have been than to end his life. His actions likely added to everyone's pain, confusion, trauma, and helplessness. Also leaving his children without a father. There were no happy endings for them.
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Jo Johannsen 3 years ago
I sincerely hope you don't feel any guilt. Absolutely NO sarcasm whatsoever.
#54
My girlfriend went to visit her parents and friend and when she came back I just knew. I sat her down and apologized and told her I cheated while she was away. She immediately nuked me with "Well guess what! I did too." When I told her that I actually hadn't slept with anyone and she'd just been faked out she was "displeased,"
#55
I had some really good friends in the next town over where my girlfriend lived, and they figured it out for me. They were super gentle about it, and patient with me through my denial.
#56
My best friend was friends with my gf and her roommates. Word got to my friend about her bringing some dude home after a party and my friend eventually spilled to me. As she said "I really don't want to tell you this and I know this will crush you, but I can't keep this from you."
After she dropped the bomb I was like "Hell no! That would never happen!" and then I confronted by gf about it that night who broke down and confessed everything.
I stayed with that girl for another 7 months and God bless my friend for sticking by my side and supporting the whole way. When I finally ended things, my best friend was still there to support me and care for me.
Also haven't dated anyone for longer than 6 months since that happened 7 years ago...
PurpleDoople 3 years ago
If there’s no attraction they shouldn’t do it out of an obligation. That ruins a friendship.
Load More Replies... #57
Wife was acting unusual for a few weeks. She would want to spend time by herself on the weekends and when she came home at night from work she would often sit in the driveway for 20 minutes on the phone. I'm not dumb. I bought a voice activated digital recorder and stuck it in her car. I knew what I needed to know in less than 24 hours.
#58
Went to bed, and left my husband and a mutual (female) friend downstairs drinking Went down to say one last goodnight, and they were out back smoking. Opened the back door, and they fell on top of me, clothes in the process of being removed, her lipstick all over his face and neck We’re mid-divorce
#59
This will probably be buried but I was in my third trimester with our son. I had a weird feeling about how he had been acting lately, nothing that stood out, just a feeling. We were getting ready to go on a date. He was getting in the shower and hesitated to put his phone down in front of me, I instantly knew. In all of our years together I had never looked through his phone or I would have found out much sooner. He had a fwb situation for ten years with a married woman that he had known since high school. I would probably recognize her vagina if I saw it before her face.
#60
This first started back in December right before we went on a holiday trip to see my family. She started acting somewhat off, kinda distant, and easily aggravated. I had a suspicion that something was going on and I’m embarrassed to admit that I snooped on her iwatch. Found some incriminating texts she had with a friend, so I confronted her in January. She tells me that she kissed a guy that she works with and that was it. We were having some issues in our relationship and I choose to forgive her and we decided to try working on some of the issues we were having. Well, fast forward to this past May...she breaks down that she wasn’t honest with me and that she had actually f*cked this other dude. We split after the news. We had been together 8 years and had been engaged for almost 2 years. Our wedding date was suppose to be f*cking yesterday. It’s still f*cking k*lling me. I don’t even know where to go from here. 2020 can go eat a d*ck.
Hayhaypaula 3 years ago
Go out and find that amazing woman who is also out looking for an amazing guy, and don't look back! You dodged a bullet!
#61
I had my suspicions but it was her who ended up telling me. I went into the relationship thinking "wow, I don't deserve this girl, way out of my league." She couldn't help but remind me how much better he was several times and made sure to rub it in my face. My reaction was a spiral into deep depression. For someone that has very low self-esteem being cheated on is one of the worst feelings. It feels like it confirms all your worst thoughts about yourself.
#62
He had the audacity to sext this woman at my dad's birthday dinner at the table. He had her name saved as "Sam", which was a work friend of his. I assumed he and Sam weren't texting this way. I made him come talk to me outside and he lied saying it was an old girlfriend from high school who was going through a divorce and needed comfort. I knew this was a lie because he had no girlfriends in high school. I started crying and he told me to STOP CRYING. That was when I knew our marriage was over. How dare he be so callous to me when I just found out that he was cheating on me? Come to find out he had been sexting random women and hiring prostitutes. We've been officially divorced for about 2.5 months now and today would have been our 5th wedding anniversary. Today sucks.
#63
My ex-wife and I moved across the country for her job. I’m a teacher, so I can get work just about anywhere. She decides to get her CPA, and apparently there’s like 8 separate tests? I really don’t remember, but she had a study group Sunday, Tuesday and Thursday nights. Except Sunday was when her and her boss would frolic at his house while his wife went to her parents every Sunday. I only found out because she made mistruck her keyboard, auto filled my email, and her details of joy of how he pounded her in the hammock came as a shock. F*ck you, Michelle
#64
His phone died and he wanted to check his Facebook, so he logged onto his Facebook on my phone. He forgot to log out (and I assumed he logged himself out). We were supposed to meet the next day (we didn’t live in the same city) but he sent me a text saying he wasn’t feeling well, so he went home. No problem there, I told him to take it easy and rest. Even offered to visit him and take care of him, but he said no. That night I wanted to check my Facebook. Didn’t realise his account was still logged in. Thought I had a private message. It was a message from the girl that had been chasing him for the past few months, saying she had fun that afternoon and they should hang out again soon. That “maybe next time they could go further ;)” Everything clicked and I dumped him lol.
#65
In a relationship for 6 years, broke up 1 month before our wedding because I found out my fiancée had cheated on me... Two years into my relationship with my-then-fiancée lots of suspicious little acts kept adding up, the biggest one being that I found some condoms were missing from my drawer, confronted my fiancée at the time (I was very sad/angry/confused), she denied any affair, 4 years went by, and about a month before our wedding, she broke down and confessed that she had indeed slept with her ex boyfriend at the time because she was depressed and was simply seeking any sort of way to feel something else. That broke my heart. I was also in the middle of an insane work day from home and had to power through the rest of the job with that on my mind; not fun. Anyways, I had always had a bad feeling that she had been lying to me over the years, and she had an undying jealously towards all of my friends who are women; she was clearly projecting.... It hurt bad that she had cheated on me, but hurt waaaaaay worse that she had lied to me for four years AND went along with planning the wedding. I’m am grateful that she told me before the wedding since we called it off due to the mistrust (amongst many other things that weren’t going well in our relationship; we met at a young age so no big surprise). I genuinely believe that she was going through some really heavy emotional turmoil from her past so I don’t take it so personally. I wish her well. With that said, I have cut off all communication to her because I simply could not trust her after that. All’s well that ends well; and have met the love of my life, and we plan to get married as soon as this Covid-19 takes a hike and it’s safe to gather in groups again.
#66
Boyfriend asked me to look for something on his computer. I couldn't find it at first. While waiting for clearer instructions I see a message in the corner talking about how she misses him or whatever. I was curious what she was talking about when she sends a picture. Weird. Well I clicked on it. Through Facebook he's been talking to 100+ women. All of them are either sending him pictures of their bodies or thanking him for the money. I'm sorry, the what now? Digging further into it, there's a link. It's to some money sending site similar to PayPal. I click to see the history. It shows 4 total pages. 20 items per page. We've been together for 15 years. We have a child. I'm on disability, he doesn't work. He's sent over $500 usd in exchange for nude pictures. That's over half my monthly paycheck. I'm furious. I've literally told him, watch porn, talk to other women, I don't care. He's lied saying he's never talked to anyone before while he's lying the entire time. The best part is we broke up, I got cancer, he moved back in, all while doing this. For over 7 years.
Cold Contagious 3 years ago
She's much better off without him. Living off her disability check and taking advantage of her is disgusting. Hopefully she'll feel relieved by him being gone.
#67
Long term relationship for 3 years. I took him to the hospital because he had unknown rashes on him. Long story short, he was diagnosed with syphilis. I was tested, and was not (no idea how i dodged that). I got treated anyway. I was so stupid in my early twenties.
#68
Was (~6 months in) recovering from being hit by an SUV as a pedestrian that left me with a severe TBI (GCS of 4), broken back (3 places), legs (two places), and pelvis (2 places). I had moved back in with my then-GF for about a week when we went to a party and I got left at the party because she couldn't find me. I didn't know any of these people as they were all her friends and none of them could help me get home when I was told she left with the group we arrived with. I managed to walk back to the apartment quite drunk, tired, and in pain from over using my still recovering injuries; banged on the door till my knuckles bled only to have a dude answer the door, let me in, and then he proceeded to crawl back into bed next to her, in my bed. I didn't have the cognitive ability to deal with that. So I laid down right on the floor next to the bed and and passed out. She broke up with me the next day and blamed me for it. This story has so much more detail to it, but I don't want to re-live that year of trauma in too much detail. Tl;Dr: walked in from a party to them in my bed in my room. I didn't have the cognitive ability to handle the situation so I passed out on the floor next to them.
#69
Back then Facebook used to display on your profile stuff like “dontsayaword2 liked a photo” and everything you did. I noticed he liked a photo of a girl that seemed to be someone he had recently added. So I checked her profile and she was one of those girls who think “they won” because men cheat on their partners with them. She had everything public, photos with him, bragging about the texts they exchanged etc. So I engineered a way to befriend her roommate, I would then find out she was bringing other dudes home besides my boyfriend and when I confronted him I also let him know about who else she was sleeping with and for him to get an STD test.
#70
My ex was a big drinker and I wasn’t. She would frequent this bar close to our place pretty often with friends. I rarely went because I just wasn’t a fan of bars or her drinking friends. One night she went out with a couple that I didn’t mind that much. I was bored at home so I decided to head over for a little bit. As I walk in I see my ex sitting at the bar with the couple. The bar was packed and as soon as I made eye contact my ex she had this strange look on her face. She turns to this guy sitting next to her, and he immediately gets up and leaves. I felt something strange right away, but I brushed it off as me being irrational. I stayed for like an hour and headed home. I couldn’t shake the feeling I had though so I checked one of her friend’s Facebook page to see if there was any connection that existed between my ex and this random dude. Sure enough he was friends with one of my ex’s friends. I knew his name now and that I wasn’t as crazy as I thought. I sat on the information though. The next weekend she goes out drinking again and still had not returned home at 4 am. I tried contacting her multiple times and I got no response. I woke up to her coming home at 7 am and jumping in the shower immediately. I decided to check her phone while she was in the shower, and she kept all of the messages with this same guy. Some pretty telling information in the text thread. While she was still showering I grabbed a fresh pair of clothes and headed to my best friends house. 20 minutes later I get a phone call with her going ape sh*t about me leaving and not saying anything. I laughed at the projection, told her that if she wasn’t moved out by Monday the police would be there to force her out. She wasn’t on the lease and her parents lived 10 minutes away from me. That was that.
#71
My ex thought he had deleted the texts. I didn’t usually go through his phone at all, but I had this suspicion that he was seeing someone else based on his behavior, his hiding his phone, and by staying later at work. I was actually really hurt, but mostly angry at myself for being stupid enough to date him. I had been warned he was no good but I wanted to fix him, and I ended up getting hurt just like all the others. My reaction was initially asking him for an explanation. He tried to cover it, and lied to my face. I immediately told him to get the f*ck out of my house and so he did. Which he responded to this by saying some very personal things about me on Twitter. It was a really bad time for me, and I hadn’t done anything wrong. But I picked myself up, got the courage to apply to a job at a larger company a few hours away, and ended up moving to a bigger city. It was there that I met my now husband. Couple years later (when I was first dating my now husband) he messaged me trying to make amends and said he missed me. I ignored it, and honestly it felt so good to be able to say no to him. I’m blessed actually, he sprung me forward and helped me more than he knows. Because if that hadn’t have happened, I don’t think I would have applied for that job, would not have left my hometown, and I don’t think I would have met my husband. Universe has a funny way of making things work out, in the end.
#72
He brought a girl to my work, while I was working. He was a person who had a hard time being physical with others, but his hand was on her lower back and he was rubbing it/kept pulling her close in a type of side-hug. He'd been ghosting me for about two weeks at that time, and he knew my work schedule. Two weeks of no contact, but the second I texted him to go off about what he'd just done, he learned how to use his phone again. I honestly think he was too much of a coward to break up with me, which was incredibly insulting since we were both coming from long-term relationships where our exes had cheated on us.
#73
I had come home from a 5 month cruise. My GF at the time was a court stenographer. So when she wasn't at the pier I figured she had a case or was catching up on transcripts. So I got a ride from my friend to see unfamiliar BMW in my driveway. I walk in to see her blowing some stranger on my couch. Keep in mind this was my house not hers. I didn't say a word to her. I just started grabbing her sh*t and throwing it in the front yard and called her father to come pick her up because her car was an old Quattro and in the shop...again. And up to that point I was letting her drive mine until it was fixed. I will not bore you with the drama but she was taken by the MA's instead of her dad.
#74
Me ex-husband was an early adopter of sending dick pics. I got his phone to get the numbers of his friends to invite them to a surprise birthday party while he was sleeping off a hangover, and there they were in his outbox. ETA- this was more than 12 years ago. When camera phones were barely functional
#75
He was sorting through his pictures and a naked lady caught me eye. So later that day I went on his phone (I would never usually do this) and found many naked girls on his phone, screenshots of snaps. I also found pictures of me I didn't know he took. I called my best friend and cried. She told to confront him so I did. His response was it's normal for men to keep their porn on their phones and was smug about his response until I mentioned they were screenshots.
#76
Me and my wife were having a shag. I could tell it was different. I asked her if she was cheating on me. She said yes. Divorced soon after.
#77
I never actually caught him, because I didn’t even try. I just got it some day. And in retrospect, he left a ton of clues. First there were the ads for dating sites that kept popping up on the tablet he had given me. Then he I skated on splitting my computer’s hard drive into two separate partitions for absolutely no reason other than to “give each one of us their own space”. Then he started stalking me, even though he was the one who had the time and means to cheat, especially as he has to travel for work 2-3 days a week, while I was stuck at home with one, then two toddlers, when I wasn’t at work. He stalked me by following my every movement first via the “find your phone” app he had installed on my phone, then by putting a tracking chip on my keychain. Life with him was hellish, so I said I needed some space and time by myself. A friend who was put of the country for 4 months offered me to stay at their place. We’d have the kids alternately. On my second weekend without the kids, I went out with a group of friends (plenty of witnesses, yay!) and whom did we stumble upon, sucking faces with a complete (yet really pretty) stranger? Yup, him. My reaction: laughing hysterically, because he’d been whining and harassing me so much about my supposed infidelities and how they made me an awful mother, and there he was, having dumped the kids at his parents’ place and sleeping FB around after less than a month. My friends were so scared I might cry all night they bought me plenty of drinks so I ended up absolutely sh*t faced for the first time ever and had the time of my life! The separation became definitive and we’re now divorced. After bragging about all his Tinder dates, he bragged about “settling” with a single mom because of her high-end job. Good riddance
#78
I was young and naive. I met my ex at my work place, I actually mentored him then grew close to him since we had the same break times. We eventually started hanging out which lead to him asking me out. I poured everything into that relationship. Even when he got kicked out by his roommates when he couldn't hold down a steady job, I packed all of his sh*t in my car and helped him move to his mom's place. One day he starts talking about how much he loves hanging out with his childhood friend Z. Well, Z has a gf who has a bestfriend who's always over there. Eventually my Ex keeps telling me how great this girl is and I should meet her. I do. I ate sushi with her, I did her makeup to boost her confidence, I went shopping with her. I notice how often my bf would rather hang out with them than spend time with me. I thought it was my fault since I had two jobs and tried to save up for us to go on dates. I finally do save up enough for a theme park and wore a cute outfit. The whole day bf was giving my attitude. I pay it no mind. He's always like that. His depression and anxiety or whatever. After that day at like 3 am he calls me and starts accusing me of cheating on him because I had a bruise on my back. I worked furniture. I'm a small woman so typically I get slammed into or bump into things. I call for a break and found out he had been "cuddling" with that b*tch throughout our break. Blocked him off everything and chewed out his mom (who worked with me and knew what the f*ck he was up to) It was a clarifying moment for me to fully understand that although his mental issues explain why he did it, it doesn't excuse his actions. F*ck you Codi.
#79
I was engaged at the time, in my early 20s(I'm 33m and married to a different woman now). I didn't really catch her, she turned herself in on it. I was super numb over it, avoided her and blew lots of money on stuff and activities to try and get over it. Never did, and ended up leaving her a month before our wedding. It sucked, and I was not in any way equipped to handle that situation.
#80
I was working with my ex at a place that also provided accommodation but we had separate rooms. One night we were having drinks with some other people and I went to bed early because I wasn't feeling well. In the middle of the night I wake up to a girl moaning and immediately knew my ex was involved. So I get on the hallway but can't locate where the noise is coming from but it's definitely not my ex's room. I end up wandering around for almost an hour (unfortunately that made me even more sure it's my ex) but couldn't figure out where they were. I got so nervous and angry I started throwing up. So the next day I ask my ex if he heard anything, he said no, he went to bed not long after me. I decided not to confront him and instead of trusting my gut I started believing I'm turning into a crazy jealous girlfriend, I even thought that maybe it was all in my head. We broke up about a week after for different reasons, I moved away and told him not to contact me. A few month after, I'm doing great and he starts messaging me and after realisinf that I'm doing fine without him, he confesses that he was cheating on me several times during our relationship even with friends of mine. Turns out, that night they were having sex basically under my window. During winter. That's how I learnt to trust my own gut and why to get out of abusive relationships.
#81
My ex confessed via text that he got his friend pregnant. I was already going out with friends for the night so they took care of me. Moved out while he was working two days later.
#82
I was working two jobs for 18 to 20 hrs a day, nearly 7 days a week. She started to seem very distant, despite the fact that she would never put in any effort to work or be helpful to the marriage. She started becoming glue to her phone. I check our phone records and sure enough there was one number that stood out. When I asked to see her phone, she gave it to me thinking I was going to FB. When I went to open the messages app, she grabbed the phone and ran. I had a back up phone and since our phones use SIM cards, I went to ATT and got a new one for her line. Well all her accounts were linked to that number, so after digging around I found Tinder, POF, Nude Snapchats, hidden messages on FB. You name the dating app, she had a profile. It turned out that she had been lying about me for years to all her friends and family. Saying all kinds of negative things. I just felt utterly betrayed. We actually reconciled, but I didn't trust her to say the least. So I installed a keystroke logger on her phone and months later she was back at it. I miss my kids so much but I'm financially, emotionally, and physically better. I got sober and clean and have gotten my depression in control. It was honestly the best thing that ever happened.
#83
He wouldn’t let me do anything on his phone without him pulling up whatever I needed for me - if I needed a flashlight, he made sure to pull it up for me first. He also would angle his phone away from me while using it. So one night while he was sleeping, as invasive as it is, I went through his phone. He had been sending nudes to random people. My heart immediately dropped and I couldn’t breathe. I woke him up and I think I screamed at him? I don’t remember much of anything between waking him up and crying myself to sleep.
#85
We had dinner with her, they were inseparable so I asked (they are co workers) and he flatly said yes, he’s dating her. End of marriage.
#86
I caught him sexting my best friend. It was horrible, I lost a bunch of friends, became kind of a loner. I dumped him 6 years later.
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What do you think ?
GoodWolf 3 years ago
He said he wouldn't be home for the weekend. I forgot a pair of shoes at his place that I wanted to retrieve, so I used the spare key he gave me. He was sitting on the bed with his naked ex beside him. His reasoning? She just came over to shower and he didn't have a towel so she was drying there naked. Like... WTF.
Gavin Johnson 3 years ago
I’ve written this more times than I care to mention. If you are in a relationship and think a ‘bit on the side’ sounds like your kind of thing, stop, leave your partner, give them the respect they deserve and leave the relationship, they are a human being and as such deserve the right to be truly happy too and you aren’t the one to give that to them. End it. If you are cheated on, end it, they haven’t given you the respect you deserve. End it, move on, live a life that’s better. Everyone deserves true and committed love and care, you are worth more than you imagine.
Kanuli 3 years ago
Or at least talk about it before. Maybe both can find an arrangement that suits them. Dishonesty will break the trust forever, while honestly talking about it at least gives options for both to choose from. I heard of some polyamory cases, and also happy open marriage relationships. Not that I personally would go this way, but I heard of some where it supposedly even deepened and strengthened their relationship. How could betrayal do that? Never.
Load More Replies...
Nicholas Yu 3 years ago
I traveled for work. My neighbors kept seeing the same silver Chrysler 300 parked at random near my house every time I left for work. I gave my ex 8 months to either say she wanted an open marriage or that she wanted a divorce but she wouldn't do it. Our daughter wasn't even a year old when I filed for divorce so I didn't even get joint custody. However, once she turns 18 I will have hours of hidden video conversations where she literally bragged to my face that if she were to have an affair I'd never find out. Idiot.
Foxxy (The Original) 3 years ago (edited)
Many of my relationships early in my life (pre 16yo) ended up in me busting my bf cheating. The rest weren't found out until after we broke up or we dated for such a short time you couldn't really call it a relationship. My shortest "relationship" lasted approx 1hr. I was only 11 or 12 then so doesn't quite count haha. One guy thought I was at school but I saw him at the local shopping centre holding another girls hand. Another guy admitted it outloud to his mate not knowing I was standing around the corner. A little while later I find him crying so I ask what's wrong and he says he doesn't know what to do. To stay with me or go with the other girl. I said calmly that he has to make a choice right now whilst I was trying to comfort him. He said he chooses me. Well next morning I found out he slept with the other girl. What tops this whole thing off is I dated him previously but broke up new years day after admitting he cheated the previous night. Fun times.
B-b-bird 3 years ago (edited)
He was cheating multiple times with multiple women, always with his colleagues (Found out later). With latest (the one that I found out) he told her that he had broken up with me when she questioned (that hurt the most). Found out everything when his phone rang at night, while he was sleeping. It was her and very much surprised that I picked up. Then me and lady had very long conversation, I checked their message chain so I could collect "evidence" for myself and by 7am I was packed. He was dumped by both of us. As far as I know he is "stuck" with one of the ladies that he was screwing around for fun :)))) ohhh she is super clingy, 10 years older than him and very desperate to get married. Karma served him a good dish. Last I heard from friends he was looking for a way to contact me to get back together (while still being with her). I was laughing hysterically, not going to tell her, coz I don't want them to break up :'D
ZAPanda 3 years ago (edited)
Friend of mine's wife. She suddenly developed an interest in the gym. They had their anniversary celebration, then he went overseas for a week. From the time he came back, to a few months later, she didn't have a period AND didn't want sex. Blamed it on menopause. That was horseshit as he tells me that she was regular as clockwork up to that point. He told me that he saw lots of texts coming through from other men. He hacked her phone and saw three guys hitting on her. One message to her best friend reported a miscarriage around the time her period came back. He confronted her about it but she claimed it was the husband's. Strangely, she stopped going to the gym shortly after he came back. He reckons she was cheating with the gym instructor, got knocked up, and lied till she had the miscarriage. He tells me he decided to drop the issue but that he stopped having sex and after a few months he left her.
GoodWolf 3 years ago
He said he wouldn't be home for the weekend. I forgot a pair of shoes at his place that I wanted to retrieve, so I used the spare key he gave me. He was sitting on the bed with his naked ex beside him. His reasoning? She just came over to shower and he didn't have a towel so she was drying there naked. Like... WTF.
Gavin Johnson 3 years ago
I’ve written this more times than I care to mention. If you are in a relationship and think a ‘bit on the side’ sounds like your kind of thing, stop, leave your partner, give them the respect they deserve and leave the relationship, they are a human being and as such deserve the right to be truly happy too and you aren’t the one to give that to them. End it. If you are cheated on, end it, they haven’t given you the respect you deserve. End it, move on, live a life that’s better. Everyone deserves true and committed love and care, you are worth more than you imagine.
Kanuli 3 years ago
Or at least talk about it before. Maybe both can find an arrangement that suits them. Dishonesty will break the trust forever, while honestly talking about it at least gives options for both to choose from. I heard of some polyamory cases, and also happy open marriage relationships. Not that I personally would go this way, but I heard of some where it supposedly even deepened and strengthened their relationship. How could betrayal do that? Never.
Load More Replies... Nicholas Yu 3 years ago
I traveled for work. My neighbors kept seeing the same silver Chrysler 300 parked at random near my house every time I left for work. I gave my ex 8 months to either say she wanted an open marriage or that she wanted a divorce but she wouldn't do it. Our daughter wasn't even a year old when I filed for divorce so I didn't even get joint custody. However, once she turns 18 I will have hours of hidden video conversations where she literally bragged to my face that if she were to have an affair I'd never find out. Idiot.
Foxxy (The Original) 3 years ago (edited)
Many of my relationships early in my life (pre 16yo) ended up in me busting my bf cheating. The rest weren't found out until after we broke up or we dated for such a short time you couldn't really call it a relationship. My shortest "relationship" lasted approx 1hr. I was only 11 or 12 then so doesn't quite count haha. One guy thought I was at school but I saw him at the local shopping centre holding another girls hand. Another guy admitted it outloud to his mate not knowing I was standing around the corner. A little while later I find him crying so I ask what's wrong and he says he doesn't know what to do. To stay with me or go with the other girl. I said calmly that he has to make a choice right now whilst I was trying to comfort him. He said he chooses me. Well next morning I found out he slept with the other girl. What tops this whole thing off is I dated him previously but broke up new years day after admitting he cheated the previous night. Fun times.
B-b-bird 3 years ago (edited)
He was cheating multiple times with multiple women, always with his colleagues (Found out later). With latest (the one that I found out) he told her that he had broken up with me when she questioned (that hurt the most). Found out everything when his phone rang at night, while he was sleeping. It was her and very much surprised that I picked up. Then me and lady had very long conversation, I checked their message chain so I could collect "evidence" for myself and by 7am I was packed. He was dumped by both of us. As far as I know he is "stuck" with one of the ladies that he was screwing around for fun :)))) ohhh she is super clingy, 10 years older than him and very desperate to get married. Karma served him a good dish. Last I heard from friends he was looking for a way to contact me to get back together (while still being with her). I was laughing hysterically, not going to tell her, coz I don't want them to break up :'D
ZAPanda 3 years ago (edited)
Friend of mine's wife. She suddenly developed an interest in the gym. They had their anniversary celebration, then he went overseas for a week. From the time he came back, to a few months later, she didn't have a period AND didn't want sex. Blamed it on menopause. That was horseshit as he tells me that she was regular as clockwork up to that point. He told me that he saw lots of texts coming through from other men. He hacked her phone and saw three guys hitting on her. One message to her best friend reported a miscarriage around the time her period came back. He confronted her about it but she claimed it was the husband's. Strangely, she stopped going to the gym shortly after he came back. He reckons she was cheating with the gym instructor, got knocked up, and lied till she had the miscarriage. He tells me he decided to drop the issue but that he stopped having sex and after a few months he left her.
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