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“I’ve Had Enough”: Man Uses Malicious Compliance To Evict Toxic Parents From His Home
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“I’ve Had Enough”: Man Uses Malicious Compliance To Evict Toxic Parents From His Home

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Some people are more authoritarian in their approach to raising children. While it has its upsides, it can be stifling if the parents remain controlling even when their kids are already full-grown adults. 

In this story, a man of Asian descent living abroad was hosting his parents, who wanted to experience life outside their home country. However, his gamer lifestyle didn’t sit well with his mother and father, as they hounded him to socialize more.

Their badgering created a tension-filled environment, urging the author to comply maliciously and ultimately regain his peace. 

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    Authoritarian parenting can come off as controlling when dealing with adult children

    Image credits: Anurag Sharma / pexels (not the actual photo)

    A couple was staying in their son’s place abroad, and they weren’t pleased to find out that he spent hours playing video games

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    Image credits: Yan Krukau / pexels (not the actual photo)

    They pushed him to socialize, and it began to create tension

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    Image credits: RDNE Stock project / pexels (not the actual photo)

    He maliciously complied, which ultimately drove his parents to leave

    Image credits: sdvb

    Asian parents are notorious for being strict authoritarians

    The author’s mother and father embody the reputation of Asian parents as authoritarians. According to Psych Central, these strict traditions are mostly rooted in philosophical beliefs known as filial piety.

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    This philosophy states that children will have a lifelong debt to their parents and must show unhesitating obedience. In turn, it created a stereotype known as “tiger parenting,” a disciplinarian approach that experts deem excessively controlling. 

    However, experts agree that tiger parenting and the authoritarian approach do more harm than good. According to University of Illinois psychologist Dr. Eva Maria Pomerantz, this style could cause heavy struggles for the child. 

    “Those kids have emotional problems like depression and anxiety and are overall less happy,” Dr. Pomerantz told LiveScience in an interview. 

    Many kids raised in Asian households have recently spoken up about their experiences and feeling the effects on their mental health. Some blame the strict parenting they went through for their awkwardness and lonely feelings. 

    The author likely felt controlled by his parents in his own home, which didn’t sit well with him. 

    Image credits: RDNE Stock project / pexels (not the actual photo)

    Creating distance may be necessary to deal with controlling parents

    Criticizing a child’s choices as they try to make it independently is a sign of controlling behavior, according to clinical psychologist Dr. Shefali Tsabary

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    In an interview with Mind Body Green, she noted that parents usually won’t hold back when they are displeased. They may also lack an appreciation for their child’s individuality and autonomy. 

    In such cases, boundaries are necessary; according to Dr. Tsabary, they should be strong, firm, and consistent. 

    “(This is) exactly what the child needs to do in order to break free from this dysfunctional pattern,” she said. 

    However, establishing boundaries doesn’t always work, especially with filial piety. If the situation comes to this, Dr. Tsabary suggests creating space. She notes it may be time to create emotional distance “in another way.” 

    The author did this through his malicious compliance, which drove his parents to go back home. While they may have meant well, they also stepped on their son’s attempt at independence and living his life, which he didn’t appreciate. 

    Image credits: Studio 31 / pexels (not the actual photo)

    Many readers supported the author’s malicious compliance

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    However, some didn’t agree with what he did and felt sad for him

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    Miguel Ordoñez

    Miguel Ordoñez

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

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    Struggling writer by day. Frustrated jazz drummer by night. Space Cowboy 24/7.

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    Miguel Ordoñez

    Miguel Ordoñez

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Struggling writer by day. Frustrated jazz drummer by night. Space Cowboy 24/7.

    Gabija Saveiskyte

    Gabija Saveiskyte

    Author, BoredPanda staff

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    Hi there! I am a Visual Editor at Bored Panda. My job is to ensure that all the articles are aesthetically pleasing. I get to work with a variety of topics ranging from all the relationship drama to lots and lots of memes and, my personal favorites, funny cute cats. When I am not perfecting the images, you can find me reading with a cup of matcha latte and a cat in my lap, taking photos (of my cat), getting lost in the forest, or simply cuddling with my cat... Did I mention that I love cats?

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    Gabija Saveiskyte

    Gabija Saveiskyte

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    Hi there! I am a Visual Editor at Bored Panda. My job is to ensure that all the articles are aesthetically pleasing. I get to work with a variety of topics ranging from all the relationship drama to lots and lots of memes and, my personal favorites, funny cute cats. When I am not perfecting the images, you can find me reading with a cup of matcha latte and a cat in my lap, taking photos (of my cat), getting lost in the forest, or simply cuddling with my cat... Did I mention that I love cats?

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    Lost Panda
    Community Member
    2 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I truly never understood this stigma related to gaming. I'm a gamer, have been since I picked up Mario at 3 (not very well as my mother put it). I've been married to my wife for 14 years, and she still says games are a waste of time and whatnot while she is content in watching TV for 2-3 hrs. If you like it fine, but I would rather play games for 2-3 hrs than stare at a TV show, because at least the game is interactive.

    Orange Panda
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's me and my boyfriend, but I don't give him c**p about his gaming. I'm perfectly fine doing my own thing. I like knowing he's there.

    Load More Replies...
    Upstaged75
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I had to look up Morris dancing. LOL, that is so very British isn't it?

    detective miller's hat
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My mother used to be like that, but now that I've passed 40, she has finally given up. I get home from work, sit outside and read for 2-3 hours, watch some tv and maybe play a video game for a bit, then go to bed. I'm quite happy with this arrangement.

    Load More Comments
    Lost Panda
    Community Member
    2 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I truly never understood this stigma related to gaming. I'm a gamer, have been since I picked up Mario at 3 (not very well as my mother put it). I've been married to my wife for 14 years, and she still says games are a waste of time and whatnot while she is content in watching TV for 2-3 hrs. If you like it fine, but I would rather play games for 2-3 hrs than stare at a TV show, because at least the game is interactive.

    Orange Panda
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's me and my boyfriend, but I don't give him c**p about his gaming. I'm perfectly fine doing my own thing. I like knowing he's there.

    Load More Replies...
    Upstaged75
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I had to look up Morris dancing. LOL, that is so very British isn't it?

    detective miller's hat
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My mother used to be like that, but now that I've passed 40, she has finally given up. I get home from work, sit outside and read for 2-3 hours, watch some tv and maybe play a video game for a bit, then go to bed. I'm quite happy with this arrangement.

    Load More Comments
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