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Teen Sick Of Parents Who Always Prioritize His Disabled Brother, Refuses To Be His Free Babysitter
The thing is, as little kids in this big big world, parents are our anchors that help us stay grounded and not drift away into the sea of confusion. But what if this anchor itself is present but doesn’t really do anything? Of course, the kid would feel lost and lonely.
That’s exactly how the original poster’s (OP) life feels like as his parents have always solely focused on his disabled brother while he has been completely sidelined. When they asked him to babysit while they went out, he downright refused and questioned what they had ever done for him!
More info: Reddit
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When we are kids, parents are our anchors and we can feel pretty lost if they neglect us
Image credits: Kindel Media / Pexels (not the actual photo)
The poster’s brother had some serious disabilities so his parents were always focusing on him, while completely ignoring the poster
Image credits: Slight-Programmer-15
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Ever since he was a child, the poster’s grandpa looked after him and at times, even provided for him financially, but he also missed out on a few things because of his parents’ neglect
Image credits: Slight-Programmer-15
Image credits: SHVETS production / Pexels (not the actual photo)
One day, the couple wanted to take a day off and they told the poster to babysit his brother but he straightaway refused to do so
Image credits: Slight-Programmer-15
When they played the family card, the poster questioned them about what they had ever done for him and they called him spiteful for this
Today, we dive into the tragic life of Reddit user Slight-Programmer-15, who tells us how his parents have neglected him ever since he was a child so that they could focus on his younger brother who’s seriously disabled. From the ages of 2 to 7, OP stayed with his grandpa, but then, his parents got him to stay with them as he was “old enough” to look after himself.
Grandpa himself volunteered to look after the poster, but the parents said that he deserved to live his life, while they kept on ignoring their son. He lamented all the painful instances when he was ignored and how it was always grandpa who picked up the financial slack and ensured he got the things that he needed.
The poor child was also not cared for by his parents even when he fell sick and again, the kind grandpa took care of him. He also missed out on many things as his parents didn’t have the finances, so when his guidance counselor kept trying to contact his parents about him going to college, they simply ignored her, and he considered skipping college altogether.
There’s only so much a teen can take, and OP’s breaking point came soon when his parents asked him to babysit his brother so they could have a night off with a few friends. Well, he just said no, and when they played the family card, he demanded to know what they had ever done for him – not his brother, just him.
Of course, they didn’t have an answer to this, so they berated him, called him spiteful, and even asked him to “stop looking at it through the lens of a kid”. Way to break someone’s heart! Probably feeling confused and overwhelmed by this, OP vented online and received a lot of sympathy from Redditors.
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Research suggests that children need attention from their parents to feel connected, to have an emotional bond and anchor in the world, and to feel like they matter. As a kid, when OP was denied this attention and constantly neglected because of his brother, surely the impact might not have been a good one, just like folks online pointed out.
PsychCentral clearly states that growing up in an emotionally neglectful family, with your feelings ignored or discounted, has profound effects on how you feel as an adult, the choices you make, and your perceptions of yourself. It also stays with you for your entire life, hanging over your relationships, and holding them back from developing the depth and resilience you deserve.
Looks like netizens’ concern was rightly directed towards OP. They said that they understood the challenges his parents must be facing looking after a disabled child. Even research says that parents of a disabled child report lower levels of general and mental health, as well as lower levels of well-being compared with parents with a healthy child.
Despite everything, people said that the couple should have realized that they have 2 sons, and completely ignoring OP while only focusing on the disabled child was unfair of them. Folks also expressed gratitude that the teen at least had his grandpa who went out of his way to help him and just be there for him.
Many Redditors also commented that the couple seem to be just using him as a caretaker for his brother and nothing else. They also went on to say that they didn’t let grandpa keep him as they needed help around the house and he was a free source. It does make you wonder if it’s true, doesn’t it?
Our hearts definitely broke listening to OP’s challenging life story. What do you feel about it? Don’t forget to jot it down in the comments!
Folks expressed their sympathies to the poster and didn’t hesitate to call out his parents, claiming that they’re simply using him as a caretaker
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What do you think ?
Weasel Wise 1 month ago
Yet another story of bad parents being called out by their child, and the child, though 100%correct, is gaslit and made to feel as if they're in the wrong.
FreeTheUnicorn 1 month ago
There are non-profits/charities that offer respite to carers free of charge. There are many who offer programs for siblings as well, but at 17, the best thing to do is start planning the escape. Don't write off college in the future, but get out. I recommend starting with jobs that provide housing and then you can put thought into what you'd like to do long term from a place of quiet. Work in parks, doing caretaking, trail maintenance, etc. Farm work, boarding schools (especially therapeutic boarding schools) will have non-teaching jobs that may include housing. Guiding programs will often let you borrow against the course and pay it off when you start to work. Being an au pair was an easy way to get language classes and get far from home. Get out, give yourself some time to realize you don't need to be in defensive mode all the time, and you'll figure it out. Very sorry for the way your parents treated you.
Lila Allen 1 month ago
I have a child with a disability as severe as the one OP describes. I have another child who is not. My husband and I alternate who cares for the kid and who shows up to school events for other kid. I take extra care to do special things for our non disabled kids because sometimes due to circumstances he has to wait for things or doesn't get as much parent time. These parents are disgusting. They have ruined one child's life while caring for the other. I know it's harder than normal, but it's not impossible. You just have to put both your kids first. AWFUL parents
Weasel Wise 1 month ago
Yet another story of bad parents being called out by their child, and the child, though 100%correct, is gaslit and made to feel as if they're in the wrong.
FreeTheUnicorn 1 month ago
There are non-profits/charities that offer respite to carers free of charge. There are many who offer programs for siblings as well, but at 17, the best thing to do is start planning the escape. Don't write off college in the future, but get out. I recommend starting with jobs that provide housing and then you can put thought into what you'd like to do long term from a place of quiet. Work in parks, doing caretaking, trail maintenance, etc. Farm work, boarding schools (especially therapeutic boarding schools) will have non-teaching jobs that may include housing. Guiding programs will often let you borrow against the course and pay it off when you start to work. Being an au pair was an easy way to get language classes and get far from home. Get out, give yourself some time to realize you don't need to be in defensive mode all the time, and you'll figure it out. Very sorry for the way your parents treated you.
Lila Allen 1 month ago
I have a child with a disability as severe as the one OP describes. I have another child who is not. My husband and I alternate who cares for the kid and who shows up to school events for other kid. I take extra care to do special things for our non disabled kids because sometimes due to circumstances he has to wait for things or doesn't get as much parent time. These parents are disgusting. They have ruined one child's life while caring for the other. I know it's harder than normal, but it's not impossible. You just have to put both your kids first. AWFUL parents
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