Parents are upset because they can’t control the life of their 34 year old adult daughter.

I got my tattoo in my late 30's, a simple moon and stars motif. Fast forward to Thanksgiving where my pentacostal brother sees it and demands to know what it's supposed to mean, and I said "it means I like Proctor and Gamble products" and he just walked away. (note: the P&G company has had a moon and stars logo for decades but some xtians decided that meant they were satanic)

Are they upset because it's a tattoo, or are they upset because of religious reasons? If they're acting pissy because of some stupid Levitticusesque issue, they can take a flying leap. No one has time for that dumb religious c**p anymore

Seems like they are all big drama queen's with their attitudes to each other. If I was the boyfriend I'd be anxious it must be like using a pogo stick in a minefield.

My parents certainly dislike tattoos. And it was a funny moment went my dad caught sight of my new shoulder/arm tattoo of a wisteria vine twirling down. Yes, they voice their "I really wish you didn't do that" but once I remind them I am grown and use my own money for how I decorate myself, they let it go and move on. And if not, whatever.

I can't stand parents like this. You are an adult! An individual. Not an extension of them either. You have a say in how you live.They don't. You paid for your tattoo. They didn't have to. It's your body that it's on not theirs. As far as your man,if they don't like him it's their loss. If he treats you right and makes you happy that's good enough. I went through this same bs. I have numerous tattoos. They hate them. I told them I paid for them and they didn't have to wear them. I know that they have certain issues with my man as well but currently guess who has been the 1st one to step up when my mom broke her leg despite her originally not wanting him in her house? HIM! He helped her up from the fall, because I am disabled and can't drive he took her immediately to get it looked at. Has stayed with myself and her to help her,lift her, take her anywhere she needs to go. Such a horrible bf. He may not meet her standards but he stepped up. Parents need to learn that they have no control of their children once they are of age. Your parents were messed up to play mind games. Id take a break from them and their drama for a while. Cut them off for a bit. As far as you... You need to quit worrying about having their approval. They messed you up because they have been doing this for a long time. Not just this situation. As I said take a break from them

I can’t agree that this example alone is abusive. Adult kids forget that their parents are people with their own thoughts and feelings. They are allowed to be upset about something and to deal with it with distance. It does sound like an unhealthy relationship but on both sides. At 34 you are not a child in need of constant validation. I find at this age, we tend to still think our parents are only about us when really they are allowed to have their own deal going on. Leave them alone and stop harassing them because you don’t agree with their disagreement. Time to grow up.

Mostly I'm very much against the idea of tattoos, especially the huge amount of just blue ink most people have, but my father had one and my son has one too. Both for very good reasons I am happy to support. I remember from training for Tactical Questioning (i.e. the nearest the army can come to torturing potential recruits as part of the special forces recruitment process) how each tattoo give the questioner information about you, which can and will be used against you. But the bottom line is that it is the OP's body and her choice to have tattoos or not (though figures I have seen show that most people regret them later in life). Her parents don't get a vote (assuming she's an adult and capable of consenting to the tattoo too).

Pic of tattoo so we can see

Some parents just can't let their children live their own lives... She can grey rock them and let them seek HER validation now. If they decide they don't want to see her , that is their choice. What the heck does a tattoo matter? Shes 34 for pete's sake!

I was absolutely horrified that my mom got a tattoo on her shoulder (butterfly) when I was 16!!!! She wore a halter top to my Sr picnic and so my mom was "That Mom" I continued to be horrified for quite some time!!! Then one day I realized my Mom was 32 yo, widowed with 3 teenagers!!! She was more than entitled!!! Nowadays I'm the mom with 2(19f) 1(20m) and one of my daughters celebrated her 19th with a tattoo... Tui &La Yin/Yang which is not always visible. It's fine!! She's talking me into getting one.... and I might!!! It's no one's business either way!!!!

That’s the way, girl! Break the mental iron choke hold they have on you, see the control and manipulation for what it is and let them have their tantrum away from your person and out of your mind. I know how grotesquely hard it is to break a cycle that’s been brainwashed in since early childhood - you have actual physical synapses reacting to it at this point - but it’s the only way to freedom. I hope OP manages to break all the way free; some never do. The death grip of emotional puppeteering from earliest memories is just so unimaginably strong. I’ve seen people end themselves because they realized they could not break free (I work in mental health), it seems so benign from the outside but this stuff is no joke friends and neighbours. If one hasn’t experienced such life long control methods, one simply cannot imagine. I cross my fingers for her and hope she remains strong. **DO NOT** play the game.

NTA. For however long they decide to be LC with you, when they want to see their grandchild, make them wait as long. Anytime they grief you over a choice you made, that only affects you, about your body, leave, or make them leave. Don't even explain why.

NTA. If it wasn't the tattoo, it would have been something just as "dramatic," like pierced ears or a crew cut. OP's parents are just narcissists in sheep's clothing. She should just give them what they give her--the silent treatment, and plenty of it. Don't immediately respond to calls and texts; wait at least a week. Even leave them on read once in a while. If they say they're going to drop by, don't acknowledge it, but prepare to be absent when they show up. The loss of control will drive them out of their everloving minds, and it will be an absolute delight to watch from a front-row seat.

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