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"I Raised An Idiot": 30 Parents Share Their Kids' Dumbest Moments When one of my daughters tries to insult the other by telling her how ugly she is.

They’re identical twins.

AsBigAsAlone , Alena Darmel Report

Final score:

382points

POST

green penguin <333 1 year ago

"IM THE PRETTY TWIN"

83points

"I Raised An Idiot": 30 Parents Share Their Kids' Dumbest Moments Told my kid that carrots help you see in the dark, he then went into the basement with a carrot and started waving it around like a flashlight.

rtardedsquirrl , Nausicaa Pellei Report

Final score:

353points

POST

Celena Camps 1 year ago

To be fair it might make sense to a little kid

142points

rjonesjcm33 , Melquisedec Racelis Report

"I Raised An Idiot": 30 Parents Share Their Kids' Dumbest Moments My 13 year old son was sniffing really hard and moving his head all around the area he was standing in. Slightly concerned he had lost his mind, I asked him what he was doing. He told me, "I farted. I'm trying to smell it all up, so you dont have to smell it." He's a thoughtful idiot.

Final score:

346points

POST

Jared Robinson 1 year ago

While ineffective it wasn't stupid, no reason why in theory you couldn't suck up all of the fart particles in the air before someone else noticed them. it's literally what air filters do.

16points

"I Raised An Idiot": 30 Parents Share Their Kids' Dumbest Moments I'm the idiot kid, but when I was about 3, after preparing dinner, my mom would leave me alone in the kitchen. After I finished, I would search for some M&Ms to nibble at, knowing I wasn't allowed.

Every time after I finished, I would go over to my mom and ask her "Did you hear me eating M&Ms in the kitchen?". She would always reply yes and I would always get so frustrated, because every time I tried to be as stealthy as possible.

I never realized what blew my cover until I grew older.

ciochips , Patrick Fore Report

Final score:

310points

POST

Spocks's Mom 1 year ago

My little brother did something like this. I am 15 years older than him and my mom and I took him to K-Mart. We got what we needed and we were taking him out to the car. I held his hand on one side and my mom held his hand on the other side. He sweetly looks between us and says, "I didn't steal Batman." Guess what we found stuck down his little two-year-old shirt? Not only that, we were pretty diligent with watching him and have no clue how he snuck it without getting seen. Needless to say, Batman went back.

95points

"I Raised An Idiot": 30 Parents Share Their Kids' Dumbest Moments I used to tell my kids not to take off their shoes and socks in the car, especially on short trips. Just leave them on so that we don't have to spend 5 minutes finding and putting them back on before we run into the store. Imagine a single dad with two young kids running around the car trying to re-shoe my children in the grocery store parking lot in the middle of an Arizona summer, yuck. One day we went to the store and my daughter was missing her shoe. It was nowhere to be found. "Daddy, I didn't want you to be mad that my shoe was off so I threw it out the window." Made sense to a 5-year old I guess.

Qlinkenstein , pxfuel Report

Final score:

306points

POST

KJ 1 year ago

Kid logic is amazing.

114points

"I Raised An Idiot": 30 Parents Share Their Kids' Dumbest Moments One day after school my brother and i met up w my dad (he worked at the school) and the janitor and began walking to the parking lot.
We passed the elementary building and the janitor lets out a huge sign about "some punk writing their name on the facade"
My dad looks over and said "It's the same name as my kid but at least his name is spelled differently since it has a C in it"

*loud gasp*
My brother: I FORGOT THE C!!!

he was not the sharpest tool in the shed...

uxi3888 , mintchipdesigns Report

Final score:

283points

POST

Fat Harry 1 year ago

My partner's then 17-year old was trying to sign into his school email account but kept getting "username or password incorrect". As he was getting more and more frustrated we said "What are you signing in as?" and watched him type. After watching a couple more failed attempts we looked at each other and smiled at each other before she said "There's no E in your name". Yep, 17, and he'd been spelling his own name wrong.

110points

"I Raised An Idiot": 30 Parents Share Their Kids' Dumbest Moments My youngest son, 14! years old, when we were on a train and he was looking outside: "Mum, what are these plants?"

Me: "They are potato plants."

He: "Fries are made from potatoes, right?"

Me: "Yes, of course. You know that, we made our own, can't you remember?"

He: "They should plant fries instead. No one likes potatoes!"

He looked at me with a face that said: "I invented space and time travel, bow in front of your genius son!" I just closed my eyes and hoped for the best.

He is a site engineer now and does well in life, because everything that isn't job related is managed by his wife. She is a godsend and I try to be the best mother in law that exists, because I want her to stay with him forever!!!

anon , Rodrigo dos Rei Report

Final score:

271points

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Debs Bee 1 year ago

Engineers are a special breed of people. My son is one. He's brilliant but needs his wife to keep him on track in life. Every family needs a boss.

98points

Padfoottheguardcat , Vivek Sharma Report

"I Raised An Idiot": 30 Parents Share Their Kids' Dumbest Moments When my youngest son, who was 10 at the time, was getting his ears checked at the pediatrician and they found a “foreign object” in his left ear.

Said object was a dead housefly. Because he thought sticking a fly in his ear would give him flying powers.

He had caught it and shoved it in there alive about a week prior.

Final score:

270points

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moggie63 1 year ago

He'd have been better off with a fish. So he could understand foreign languages.

164points

#10

"I Raised An Idiot": 30 Parents Share Their Kids' Dumbest Moments My son came to our house to visit (he didn't live with us), we weren't home but we on our way home so he let himself in.

We walk in and he's freaking out about breaking our newly adopted cat or something to that effect. I asked him what was she doing, she looked fine to me. He said she was "vibrating" when she sat on his lap.

This is where he learned about cats purring. He hadn't been around a lot of cats so idk.

wydidk , Chris Abney Report

Final score:

258points

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OutspokenHBW 1 year ago

The vibrating means it's working!

129points

TiredWhovian , Dan Michael Sinadjan Report

#11

"I Raised An Idiot": 30 Parents Share Their Kids' Dumbest Moments When I asked my 14yo if she could please bring me a piece of cake, she cut it, forgot why, then ate it.

Final score:

255points

POST

moggie63 1 year ago

Forgot. Yeah.

127points

Stephanie Barr 1 year ago

Sadly, this can happen. I was like this as a kid. I'm a rocket scientist now, but still absent-minded.

22points

Amy Burke 1 year ago

The teenage brain is equipped for forgetfulness ... it's something to do with changes in the brain and normal deveopment

20points

Awesome At Being Autistic 1 year ago

All the dämn hormones. When I was a young teenager, my friend and I were making oatmeal chocolate chip walnut cookies. Took them out of the oven, and couldn't understand what was wrong with them. Turns out we forgot to add the flour. D'oh!

10points

GhostlySnail 1 year ago

Okay but the cake in the picture looks amazing now I want cake

18points

James016 1 year ago

Trusting your kid with cake. Rookie mistake.

12points

Heeku the Marshmallow 1 year ago

I trusted my sister with my violin for one second, she dropped in down five stairsteps. The pain of retuning it... Lesson of the story: don't trust your kids with food/valuables.

1point

Vasana Phong 1 year ago

Hey!! I’m 50 today 🥳, anyways I did this the other day to my son

11points

Ample Aardvark 1 year ago

Happy birthday!!

6points

Belle_Pandamonium🇧🇻l 1 year ago

Happy Birthday! Wow. 50! Loooveu livelove have fun be loved 🍻💐🤩🤩🤩🤩💐💐💐💐🍾

1point

SarDemMin 1 year ago

Happy birthday! 🥳

0points

Klopec 1 year ago

Sound like me, I'm 71

6points

Belle_Pandamonium🇧🇻l 1 year ago

I am 52. I do whatever.. dont matter 🙄🤗

0points

Cyber Returns 1 year ago

Must have been the fault of the Memory Eating Doorway Ghost

4points

msanchezym 1 year ago

That would be me...

3points

Moxitron Jazz 1 year ago

maybe it's a power move?...

2points

Hugh Cookson 1 year ago

14yo - her attention span is about 1/5th of a nanosecond - oh look squirrel .....

1point

Maris Cook 1 year ago

Sounds like something that I would do lol

1point

MargyB 1 year ago

Sure!

1point

Joe Standford 9 months ago

Lol

0points

G'ma B 1 year ago

OMG! Good excuse!

0points

Batwench Premium 1 year ago

That’s a fine looking slice of cake. Mmmmmmmm

0points

AMR 1 year ago

I want a piece of the cake pictured! It looks so silky and delicious!

0points

Timbob 1 year ago

Remember, teens brains aren’t finished being made!

0points

Miranda Veracruz de la Joya Cardenal 1 year ago

This sounds like something people do when they are high and your short term memory is a mess.

0points

Valek Fermiga 1 year ago

This has just given me a new idea to try....

0points

Not-a-Clue-What-to-Call-Myself 1 year ago

Genius!

0points

Immortal Jellyfish 1 year ago

That's what I would've said.

0points

Alleman Jennifer 1 year ago

Is she going thru early meno..,.?

0points

joe 1 year ago

Writing that excuse down so I don't forget it.

0points

Angelina Petrich 1 year ago

thats me the 14yo

0points

Stephanie A Mutti 1 year ago

That's genius level there!

0points

Joe Average 1 year ago

ADHD?

0points

Cosmologist wannabe 1 year ago (edited)

i believe that this is a thing called adhd. (edited due to unintentional offensiveness)

-2points

BeepBoop the Single Pringle 1 year ago

I don't understand what you're trying to say, but since you said you're trying to think of a good way to say that, I'm assuming it can be offensive. But one little story can never be a judge of character

0points

HelmGrass 1 year ago

sure..

-2points

#12

"I Raised An Idiot": 30 Parents Share Their Kids' Dumbest Moments When the Peter Pan Peanut Butter recall happened 10-12 years ago or so (due to salmonella) my then-15 year old daughter came in from school and as she was walking past the living room (tv was on) she stopped and watched the news report about the salmonella outbreak. She got this “ah-ha” lightbulb moment and said, “oh, now I get it! It’s about peanut butter! All day at school I kept hearing Peter Pan was killing people around the country and I thought he had turned bad or something and was now a villain.” I just stared at her waiting for her to say she was joking and didn’t really think Peter Pan was real, but no, she just went upstairs to her room like we just had a normal conversation about normal, every-day events.

mazexii33 , Chris Report

Final score:

237points

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Katie Lutesinger 1 year ago

Peter Pan doesn't need to turn evil; he totally DID kill people in the book.

103points

#13

"I Raised An Idiot": 30 Parents Share Their Kids' Dumbest Moments My son spent 18 months of his teenage years telling people he was born in Brazil. He was born in Bristol

anon , Isabela Kronemberger Report

Final score:

233points

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Ace 1 year ago

Local pronunciation of "Brizzle" isn't so far off, so I can forgive him for this.

77points

#14

"I Raised An Idiot": 30 Parents Share Their Kids' Dumbest Moments When my oldest was 11, I was letting him stay up with me and my roommate (he's from my first marriage, I hadn't met my wife yet and was still a messy bachelor with a kid)

So, he's 11 right. Need to be clear about this. He's 11.

We're watching Colbert Report and Stephen says something happening in Congress politics whatever is "as likely as writing legislation with Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, or the Easter Bunny"

I chuckle at the dumb joke, only half paying attention. My kid sits up and says, "wait. Dad. What did he just say? What was .. can you explain that?"

I'm thinking maybe he's confused about the politics so I say these two powerful politicians aren't getting along. He says "yeah, no, right, okay .. so ... what else did he say again?"

By this point my roommate, who had been pretty much staring at his laptop, ignoring the TV and the two of us, starts watching us closely.

So I say "yeah, so that's as unlikely as meeting Santa Claus"

"Yeah??"

"Yeah, or .. the Tooth Fairy"

"Yeah??"

"Right. Or. The Easter Bunny"

"wwwWWWHHHAAAATT!!!!!????!!?!!??!?!???!!!"

My roommate let's out one small chuckle. I'm staring at him, a bit dumbfounded. Finally I ask, "buddy, did you .. still, um .. think there was a, uh .. a rabbit, who snuck into the house, and hid eggs?"

My roommate starts snickering. I'm just staring with a bewildered look. Kiddo is slumping down down down into the couch, angry teardrops welling up in his eyes. I don't know if he was embarrassed, mad at my roommate for laughing, or pissed off because he learned the Easter Bunny wasn't real in such a s****y way.

He already informed me that he knew Santa Claus was "just the parents" about oh I dunno, four years earlier? So I thought we were cool.

As I tucked him in that night, he explained "I just figured he stopped coming because I'm too old"

johnwalkersbeard , Pixabay Report

Final score:

226points

POST

Anna Ekberg 1 year ago

Aww, this was kinda cute.

123points

#15

"I Raised An Idiot": 30 Parents Share Their Kids' Dumbest Moments My dad’s moment was when I made him drive around with me because my car had been making a “thunk” noise every time I made a turn. After 15 minutes he announced it was the baseball bat in my trunk rolling around.

Tanaisy , JESHOOTS.com Report

Final score:

214points

POST

Angela B 1 year ago

*snort laughs* I am so sorry but this is hilarious!

77points

whatreasondoineed , Rosemary Ketchum Report

#16

"I Raised An Idiot": 30 Parents Share Their Kids' Dumbest Moments Daughter calls me "there is a cop behind me with his lights on. What should I do?"

Final score:

197points

POST

Array Index Out of Bounds 1 year ago

Stop talking on your phone, for one thing...

146points

#17

"I Raised An Idiot": 30 Parents Share Their Kids' Dumbest Moments When my son was disappointed by sex ed class. He thought they were going to learn some moves.

lilarose8 , imdb Report

Final score:

187points

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Pieter LeGrande 1 year ago

Ah, the difference between Education and Training.

153points

#18

"I Raised An Idiot": 30 Parents Share Their Kids' Dumbest Moments My daughter was a messy teenager who had to be told to clean her room. She had a habit of letting dishes pile up on her nightstand. We were on her a*s constantly about not letting dishes especially sports bottles of juice sit around because they ferment. Well one day the husband and I were is our bedroom and heard an explosion and our daughter scream. We ran to her room to find one of her bottles of juice had finally given in to the pressure of the fermented juice and literally blew to pieces. The explosion was so powerful the top left a hole in her ceiling and there were tiny pieces of sports bottle shrapnel everywhere. She's my smart one

Sdunn1980 , Charlotte May Report

Final score:

186points

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Henry Russell 1 year ago

once while at my grandparent's house i was in the mood for a coke , which was at the top of the freezer old , not expired and not cold. i picked one up and accidently dropped and the coke blew up. some of it hit the ceiling like 12 feet above. the top was blown off. i told my grandma and picked up another and went back to drinking it

33points

Dutch Swimmer Goes Viral For Super Revealing Trunks During 2024 Olympics: “Is This Legal?”

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#19

"I Raised An Idiot": 30 Parents Share Their Kids' Dumbest Moments 3 year old is preparing for his bath. His underwear looks strange but I'm distracted his brother. Kid takes off one pair of underwear, then a 2nd pair, then a 3rd. I ask why he is wearing 3 pairs of underwear. Kid looks at me like I'm an idiot, "Mom told me to put on a clean pair every day".

That nonautistic kid grew up to place the highest in math in our large Midwestern city. But even in his 20's you have to make sure you give clear instructions as he will follow rules to the letter.

anon , pxfuel Report

Final score:

179points

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HogHedge 1 year ago

Why the use of "nonautistic"? A lot of kids are like this, without being on the spectrum

93points

#20

"I Raised An Idiot": 30 Parents Share Their Kids' Dumbest Moments My dad is a truck driver, so I was the adult male figure in my kid sister's life. One day when she was around 14 or so, I took her to McDonalds for dinner and i asked her what she wanted and she said McNuggets.

I pull up to the speaker and start ordering. "Hello, I'll take an 8 piece McNuggets with a High C."

My sister quickly reminds me tell them no onions.

"I'll also take a Quarter pounder meal with a sprite"

Sister again says "no onions!"

the cashier asked will that complete your order?

sister getting mad, says "no onions!!!"

"Yes, that will be all" I say calmly and I pull forward. My sister is getting really pissed and asked "Why didnt you tell them no onions on mine?!?!?"

I look at her and say just as loudly "ON YOUR CHICKEN NUGGETS!?!?!?"

It dawned on her and she couldn't look up and show her face when I asked the cashier at the window to please make sure there are no onions on her order of McNuggets.

Daecoth , harry_nl Report

Final score:

177points

POST

Monday 1 year ago

Ahhhhh I'd never let her live it down. My folks and I still ask if my kid brother wants a Bicken Churger when we go out.

87points

Woman Put A Water Fountain With A Camera In Her Yard, Here Are 24 Photos Of Regular Visitors (New Pics)

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#21

"I Raised An Idiot": 30 Parents Share Their Kids' Dumbest Moments I asked my kids what the biggest dinosaur was and my oldest (15Y/O male) said paleontologist without skipping a beat. That's when I knew I was in trouble. Then my friend told my 10-year old that the dirt on the car tasted like candy, so he licked it. He tried to get his 6-year-old brother to do it but even he wasn't falling for it. At least 3 out of 5 kids will move out of my house eventually.

Hunterchick212 , Los Muertos Crew Report

Final score:

163points

POST

DC 1 year ago

"At least 3 out of 5 kids will move out of my house eventually." - and survive? :D

58points

#22

"I Raised An Idiot": 30 Parents Share Their Kids' Dumbest Moments I don’t think he’s an idiot but I think he lacks common sense because he’ll take a bite of food, it will be scalding hot. He’ll cry and act like he’s dying, but won’t spit it out. He’ll say “Mommy it’s hot!!” And I’ll say “Well I told you to wait for it to cool down,” or “Then blow on it” or something to that effect. He will say no, and then continue taking scalding hot bites and crying that it’s too hot.

In his defense his father’s the same way.

anon , cottonbro studio Report

Final score:

159points

POST

Spocks's Mom 1 year ago (edited)

Sounds like this whole scenario could be avoided if they would JUST WAIT UNTIL THE FOOD COOLS DOWN before handing it to their child that they KNOW is about to burn their mouth. Apples don't fall far from their trees in this family.

105points

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#23

"I Raised An Idiot": 30 Parents Share Their Kids' Dumbest Moments My son yelled at me from outside to come get his toy from the grass (he was standing in the driveway). When I asked why he couldn't get it himself he explained he was only wearing one shoe. When I asked why he was only wearing one shoe he replied that he could only find one sock.

southernfriedfossils , Meghan Holmes Report

Final score:

159points

POST

Vasana Phong 1 year ago

Smart logic though, look out for this one

62points

#24

"I Raised An Idiot": 30 Parents Share Their Kids' Dumbest Moments He knew there was a frozen pizza in the garage but couldn't find it. Didn't even think to check the freezer.

axnu , upasigo Report

Final score:

147points

POST

moggie63 1 year ago

I don't think my chest freezer was ever that clean. Even when it was delivered.

72points

#25

"I Raised An Idiot": 30 Parents Share Their Kids' Dumbest Moments I had my sister text my mom that she forgot her phone at home

pigboat3 , Karolina Grabowska Report

Final score:

146points

POST

Anna Ekberg 1 year ago

LoL, i once looked for my mobile in the darkness with the torch of my mobile. Doh, took me a few seconds but boy did i feel stupid then.

68points

#26

"I Raised An Idiot": 30 Parents Share Their Kids' Dumbest Moments His car battery died while be was parked at the storage unit while he was home on leave from the army.

Come to find out he had turned off the car to save gas, but had left the heat/ blowers, and seat warmers on so his girlfriend wouldn't get cold.

He's in Army Intelligence.

sirnoodleloaf , Connor Lunsford Report

Final score:

146points

POST

Fat Harry 1 year ago

We have a joke that US Military Intelligence is an oxymoron.

17points

Woman Moves Out Of Parents' Home After They Asked Her To Give Her Space To Brother, They Freak Out

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#27

I’ve got myself one of those smart idiots. 4.0 middle schooler. Cannot operate a door, buckle, lock or latch even if she seen it before. Has twice caught the microwave on fire trying to make popcorn, we’re not even sure how. I don’t think she could find her way to her friends house around three corners if her life depended on it.

Hopefully she will find some sort of job near her house that requires deductive reasoning but maybe doesn’t have its own office with the key.

anon Report

Final score:

131points

POST

Yvonne Dauwalder Balsiger 1 year ago

As everyone playing D&D or something similar knows, there is a reason why intelligence and wisdom are separate stats 🤣

106points

#28

"I Raised An Idiot": 30 Parents Share Their Kids' Dumbest Moments "I need, like, a jacket for my legs." - said by my 13 year old who does know what pants are.

WasabiChickpea , Mica Asato Report

Final score:

129points

POST

Monday 1 year ago

But pants aren't leg jackets, pants are leg shirts. I also would like a leg jacket on cold days.

90points

#29

"I Raised An Idiot": 30 Parents Share Their Kids' Dumbest Moments My 14 yr old soon went into a dressing room to try on 5 pairs of pants. After waiting 15 min and yelling twice into the men’s dressing room to see if was ok, he admitted he could find the shorts he had worn in. He gave me 3 pairs of the pants and still couldn’t find them. I finally had to go into the stall to look. They were balled up in the leg of one of the pair of pants. It was extremely noticeable. He swore he took his shorts off before trying on any of the pants so he didn’t think to look in them. I was speechless. He’s in the gifted and talented program in our school district.

hillarysp , Enric Cruz López Report

Final score:

118points

POST

EarthGrowl 1 year ago

There is a huge gap between book smart and common sense. Real intelligence is using the information to assemble a rational and logical worldview. This is how we get conspiracy theories. People think they are a genius because they can memorize large amounts of information, and they assemble the information in haphazard and sloppy manner. Memorizing the parts of a motor out of a book is easy. Actually assembling a functional engine is a whole lot harder.

69points

Woman Refuses To Chip In For Babysitting Because She Doesn’t Even Have Kids, Asks If She’s A Jerk

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#30

"I Raised An Idiot": 30 Parents Share Their Kids' Dumbest Moments My brother couldn't remember the proper name for shoes so he called them 'foot houses'. Mum confirmed that day that at least one of her teenage children was a bit doughy up top.

horsesarse17 , Dominika Roseclay Report

Final score:

113points

POST

Stephanie Did It 1 year ago

My daughter, at the age of 3, called them "shoes on" because when it was time to go out, that's what I told her to get.

38points

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#31

We need to leave; sent him to put on socks...

Waited more than enough, go find him

He's in his room, wearing only underwear, playing with legos

He can't remember what I sent him after

Edit: I was away and didn't expect this much attention. Since people are asking, I think he was about 8 at the time. I can definitely imagine him repeatedly getting distracted by toys, then guessing what he was supposed to do - "Oh yeah, change shirt. Take that off, oh hey legos."
It's not anything that I'd have medicated, and he has improved. He still couldn't find his butt with a bell on it, but I suppose he'll grow out of that too

5up3rj Report

Final score:

33points

POST

Monday 1 year ago

We all have our moments. I loaded into a co-op game with some uni friends once....went to the kitchen to get a drink and totally forgot about the game. Ended up making and eating lunch before going back to my computer and seeing the barrage of messages and a game over screen.

10points

"I Didn't Start The Dryer": Karen Gets Taught A Lesson After Throwing Out Neighbor's Wet Clothes

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#32

My nine year old son just tried to cut his breakfast sausage mid-air.

brrrgitte Report

Final score:

28points

POST

OhnoI’vebeencensored 1 year ago

Ninja style.

11points

sirdigbykittencaesar , Erol Ahmed Report

#33

"I Raised An Idiot": 30 Parents Share Their Kids' Dumbest Moments Let me preface this by saying my son is actually brilliant (especially when it comes to computers and music), and I love him more than life itself.

HOWEVER. When he was in 9th grade, reading *A Tale of Two Cities*, he complained to me that he was having a problem with the book because whenever he would pick his book up to continue reading it, he had to figure out where he left off last time. I was like, "If only we had the technology - a way to *mark* the last place we read in a *book* - it would be so much easier!" Then I found an index card for him to use as a bookmark.

In all honesty, I really felt for the poor kid. He was never an enthusiastic reader to begin with. I've always been an avid reader, and even I struggled with Dickens, all the way through college.

Final score:

27points

POST

Robert Trebor 1 year ago

Bookmarks are for quitters.

23points