I hate it when people think that just because we are women we want to take care of children and should be grateful for the opportunity. I went through this just this past holiday when, because I was off work (vacation time from my demanding job) I was told that I should keep my aunt and uncle's grandkids. I flat out said no and was told I was selfish and ungrateful and a b***h. Here is the deal: 1) it is my vacation, too 2) I didn't have kids because I don't want to care for them 3) I am not obligated to anyone because they are family and I have time off of work.

First off 24 yr old isnt a girl...she is an adult. Second ..children are your responsibility..your choice..you birthed them. Third 35 buvks an hr is cheap for 3 kids

When I went to visit my MIL for 3 weeks during Christmas, it involved meeting my SIL and her 2 kids for the first time. Every outing seemed to have the whole family. And every outing involved my SIL ignoring her 2 kids and foisting looking after them on everyone else. It had been 5 years since my husband had been home. I finally planted a firm foot and said I wanted one day out. Just me, my husband, and my son (10 yrs old). My MIL seemed miffed but gave us the keys to her car which we took to Williamsburg, VA. That was the best outing we'd had all vacation. Sometimes family can act like everyone is a babysitter just waiting to watch their kids with baited breath. You had them, you watch them. It's not my responsibility to watch anyone but my own kid.

Hells teeth, if wanted to spend time with adult friends and my 4 year old was not welcome I would not spend time with those friends. Why would I want to go anywhere for days without him? Yeah we all need some me time, but I normally find a couple of hours is enough, I start to miss him after that.

So.... they wanted you sacrifice 3 days of your vacation > so they can have their vacation... right?

She is not an a*****e, she is putting down work she would be doing for 60/hour and any babysitter would charge more than 35 for taking care of three kids during three days, that is hard work!!!

I believe that the rate you asked for is totally in line with the norm. If your cousin and her husband have an issue with that, then that is their problem. If they don't want to pay it well then they should take care of their own kids. Your cousin and her husband are the one's that are acting "entitled" not you. You have a good business head on your shoulders and you will really go places in life. I commend you for sticking to your guns.

would the mum asked a *male* relative to take time off of work, and *lose money*, to take care of her kids? The answer to that, will reveal a lot about the real dynamic here

I remember paying $15/hr per child 20+ YEARS AGO!!

So, they're on holiday, not even at their own house but want to disappear for 3 days and expect someone else to take care for their children?

i'd never ask my family to get paid. but again… if you had to work and didn't go to work to babysit you lose money… so it's a hard one i guess...

Asking 1000usd for taking care of family kids is rude. Just say you cant do it.

It soudns like the mother was offering the services of her daughter. In the sort of 'Oh, I'm sure xyz will step in, sort of thing'. I'd have been mad as fire, though, if someone tells me I'm a stupid little girl when I am a sought after freelancer that make 60€ an hour. (And software engienering is not done in a few hours). And hwo the hell, want to lea ve their kids behind, short notice, for three whole days??? That sort of thing is planned aeons in advance!

I read the whole post, but really couldn't get past, "visit friends, who live in the area, for 3 days, without kids"..screams P**s Poor Parenting, "can't do it sorry", end of conversation.. Then I picture just how attention starved the kids are, but than I think, "why is this in a public forum for debate?", it's nunmybiz!

... and HERE is the issue I have with all the media bs and pressure from others of "It's FAMILY... you do it because it's FAMILY... don't you appreciate FAMILY?" - The only thing I've learned is that Family is an "F" word used as an excuse to freely abuse you. Think of **any** situation of abuse. Anything. "Oh well, they're family... you can deal with it for them, right?"... "it's FAMILY... they're priceless, right? So what's a few hundred dollars your missing?" - so you know what this triggers the a**holes in the "FAMILY" to do? Use it like a damned weapon. "Well, obviously they'll do anything for me, it's not unreasonable because it's FAMILY"... Yes, we treasure FAMILY sooo much that it's common practice to treat family worse than anyone else you encounter.

IF she had to give up highly-paid work to do it, then she should be compensated something. As it's cash that won't be reported and taxed, and as it's her cousin for whom she's doing it, she should work for the market rate of babysitters (for three kids).

3 kids, $20 per hour each kid, sounds reasonable.

My ex-husband got frustrated when our then teenage daughter didn't want to babysit her much younger half siblings. She had no experience with children, and no interest in babysitting. He thought that because she was a girl, she would be a natural at it.

You can just say no its too long too much, happy to do one evening for free from time to time. No need to brag about your earnings.

I love it when people use social media to destroy their family relationships

This sounds like a case where both sides wanted some drama. The freelancer could have just said "No" since she didn't want to do it and had other work to do. The cousin could have accepted the "No" and found someone else. Instead we end up in Family Feud for no good reason.

They were expecting her to just drop everything and watch their kids and they call her selfish? They were staying with the woman's parents instead of at a hotel and probably ate the majority of their meals at the house, right? I'm surprised these entitled jerks didn't ask for gas money to get there seeing as how they seem to think the world revolves around them and EVERYONE should prostrating themselves just to be in their presence. The saddest part of this whole story is that the woman questioned if she was in the a*****e.

I think it's an a*****e move to charge family. Either do it for free out of loyalty for family or say no you can't do it. Doing something for family isn't business, it's teamwork. Even if I think a family member should have planned better, I'm not going to abandon them for it. Family is more valuable than any thing. That said, it's also an a*****e move to respond the way you say they did. Basically no one in this seems to value the other people in their family. If you ignore the family angle, then sure charge whatever you like and then the original poster didn't do anything wrong. If my cousin quoted me that rate, I'd decline and them assume they don't want to be my cousin anymore.

Glad you walked away. You were the only adult in this situation. There are others around, why didn't they offer to do it or at least help? To make this anyone's fault but theirs is wrong. They didn't seem to care if anyone was qualified either, meaning they are willing to dump their precious children with anyone to get away. Some people shouldn't be parents.

First of all your 24 Years of age with an amazing job making 40/Hr and on top of that have a side hustle freelancing for 60/ Hr ... I want to commend you on this at your age . Second your time is what you feel It is worth , for your cousin to assume that you are asking such an amount is astronomical is ridiculous . Her husband calling you child and insulting you is more about his inability to recognize that your a women with standards , and recognizing your worth . Family thinks because your blood than your time is a given for free or cheap ..... absolutely not !!!!! I personal am paid twenty dollars an hour per child and depending on kids I do it at a group rate ( but ) .... its at a reasonable rate 3 kids ( all day ) rate 35-40 hour . It’s sad they feel your rate doesn’t equal your worth . I would just say I’m truly sorry but I hope you find someone who can work around your rate . Family can be so blood sucking and manipulating. Uughhhh family !!!!

I don't think this gal was out of line at all. Where were they allowing her to have plans to spend time with adults and not have kids to watch after? The husbands comment was completely ludicrous. Go hire a kid, who believe me is not going to go for the $2.00 an hour or so these two think is fair. They should never even have imposed upon a family member. Which always seems to equate to free. They should have planned ahead and not treated this gal like she's some dufus kid. Let hubby stay home with his kids and see why the wife wanted a break. He sounds like someone clueless to what watching kids for real means. And I'm sure his hourly rate would be exorbitant.

Mm you are "kid" and "brat".. And what els... And he is asking still you watching 3 young kids... I want to ask what kindof parents could leave kids so many days like that... -.-

NO way would I babysit one kid for $35 much less 3. Especially when parented by entitled mom and dad. No think you. Get gone.

I’d rather chop off my hand than ask for money from family to babysit little cousins. If you need to work you work, decline to babysit, asking for money is yuck. Then again, I never truly understood the american society.

$15/hour? I'd have said OK, I'll adjust my price…to $15/hour/child: that'll be $45/hour, you like that better?