The YTA are beyond stupid or ignorant. How could the parents be so selfish to not even inform their children before they started conceiving themselves. Lying about relatives diseases. Justifying all this c**p by belittling their daughter. I couldn't forgive them. Huntington disease is DOMINANT. Just one copy and you're doomed.

Janelle Collard

Janelle Collard

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Not only did those parents have just one child, they had THREE. Good thing OP told her sibs, esp. since bro + his fiancee are trying for a baby. LC or NC is the right choice to deal with those selfish parents.

People who have Huntington's in their genes should not have children. It's nothing but selfish. This is a horrible, fatal disease and to willingly inflict it on someone else because you want to parent, make you a scumbag, unworthy of children. This is a 50/50 chance for the kids. It's disgusting. If I was the gal, I'd absolutely MAKE SURE i told all the younger children. They should not that their parents are NOT trustworthy people and they need to look out for themselves.

Knowing one's medical history on something hereditary should be a basic right. Which means, on the other side it should be mandatory to inform when you know.

Doctors and mental health professionals are required, by law, to inform the authorities if they believe a client/patient might harm themself or others. Informing the siblings may not be legally required, but sure as heck has the same moral underpinning. And having children when you know there's a 50% chance of suffering and early death is evil - not informing them needs a new word that's harsher than evil.

There is a reason why in the Jewish Community many people do genetic testing before marriage, bc of genetic diseases to make sure the couple are not both carriers

I can somewhat understand the idea of not telling them while they're children, because yes, the not knowing is awful. But they should've at the *very least* told them before they had children! There's even some places that allow you to have IVF with embryos that definitely do not have Huntingtons, without telling you whether you tested positive or not, if you don't want to know.

A friend of my sister's has Huntington's, her bio mom and brother both died young from it (in her family it hit them a lot earlier than normal). She's in her mid 20s and she's probably not going to make it to 30. But guess what? She had a kid. He's like 3 or 4 at this point, she was fully aware of her condition before she had him, and not only is he going to end up losing his mother at a young age, he might have a similarly short lifespan himself. And I fully judge her for knowingly bringing a child into that situation. OP's parents are that same level of selfish. And OP should get her son tested as soon as possible. The results might not be what she wants but in this case it's better to know. Plus she's now in a position to inform her son of his risks (if any) of passing it along, once he's old enough to understand.

I used to be mad at my folks for not testing for our genetic muscle disorder earlier. I am 34, and I have a pacemaker. Thanks a bunch... My grandma died of the same thing before I was born, but I'm not 100% sure they *could* have tested back then already. I'm not mad anymore. At least I know now, and I am mostly grateful medical science has progressed to the point that my dad is still alive when he should be dead, and I will likely live until retirement and then some - although I wonder if I'll make it to 80, or even 75. I'm not going to have bio kids anyway (gaaaaay) and luckily the sister with the strongest child-wish is negative. But my brother (positive) has potentially passed it on to his kids, who are also at risk of inheriting another muscle disorder from their mom... it's a hot mess.

This is beyond selfish. If you know you have a hereditary illness that's incurable and even if you don't have some genetic disease some people choose not to have children. Please shut up about having to be thankful for life and being in good health now. No one asks to be born so there's no need for gratitude and even if you make it to your fifties in good health, is it worth the agonsing decline? Having you, your children and spouse going through that? Children knowing that this could also happen to them? Yes, there is pre-natal screening for Huntington, but can you imagine the mental burden of that? And then having to decide what to do when Huntington is detected? CRISPR is a good thing, but there is as yet no approval to use it to remedy Huntington's. There so-called parents more or less condemned their children and their children to living under Damocles' sword. Beyond selfish.

s****y move from the parents, but does OP have grounds to sue them, like one commenter suggested? What would the charges be?

I worked with someone at risk of Huntingdon's. He didn't want to get tested, fair enough. However he got married and they were trying for a baby still without testing. I couldn't believe it or that his wife seemed to be OK about it. Me? I'd test so if necessary I could make plans.

I completely understand protecting your child - when they're a child. But once they're old enough to make life decisions, they need to know. You have the right to choose to be tested or not, to marry or not, to get genetic counselling and check whether your partner is a carrier before you conceive a child. To have IVF and screen for it, rather than taking the risk. To not have to face your own child knowing that you have a hereditary disease that will steal your future, and that they may have inherited. They owed you the information, so that you could make your own informed decisions about your health and your life. I'm so sorry. This is completely unfair of them, and you have the right to be angry.

As someone who has coped with severe depression and have seriously at one point CONSIDERED TAKING MY OWN LIFE? NTA all the way. Why couldn't I have died when I was a baby?

My friend doesnt have it herself, but can give the gene of an illness to her kids. A non curable disease. She decided to have children and not get them tested. I don't know why she did it this way.. the nurses didnt understand either. I don't know what to think about it

When never is "the right time".

To me, it's not only the fact that the kids will have Huntington's that's the issue... Those kids will, at minimum, have to deal with their parent's illness and all the potential effects of it. Even if they get lucky and don't get the disease, they still have to go through it with their parent.

Holy bloody hell, how very *cruel* of her parents. I do so hope that she is able to get some serious therapy. Holy hell......💔

I can understand where OP is coming from, she's been totally blind sided and potentially passed this onto her own child unwillingly. I have Cystic Fibrosis (cf) it is a degenerative disease passed from both parents. I was diagnosed at 2 days old so I've known my whole life. I choose not to have children because of this, as any child I had would likely have cf and I was not going to inflict that life on anyone.

NTA The parents have been horribly selfish & cruel. When was going to be "the right time" to tell their children? When one started having symptoms? Everyone has a right to their medical information so they can make decisions & plans. As an aside, my co-worker's wife died from Huntington's in her 30s. Most of her siblings got tested but 1 absolutely refused to - said she'd rather not know, which is of course her right. Opinions on that decision, anybody?

WHile I think they should have told ALL their children, as soon as they were old enough to breed, and explain very thoroughly what it means, and give them the choice to either NOT breed, or go through IVF, I think you and others should say if you wanted kids, then you should have adopted, but NOOOO, these people absolutely MUST produce 3 kids who have their KNOWN to be defective genes, and in at least one case, already passed them on.

Is life worth living knowing you could have a deadly disease?? I guess a lot of people would say no, the majority here in fact. I think I would say yes. Maybe you would not get it, maybe a cure will be found in the next decades after you have children. The moral question is tell them or not? By the way she reacted, I guess a lot of people could take it really badly.

NTA. Everyone has a right to know their medical history and how it will affect their wellbeing, lifespan, and the possibility of passing a fatal disease to potential offspring. If this information is known to anyone the person with the condition has a right to be informed. This reminds me of those tests they used to do on POC, the poor, those in orphanages, people in 3rd world countries, those that had been institutionalized, etc... Those people had no clue they had a disease and lived their lives as though they didn't. They deserved to know, to be able to make choices accordingly, to plan for a difficult and shortened lifespan. OP's parents treated having children as an experiment: "Let's see if they get it or not. We hope they won't but we're not going to tell them they're at risk, get them tested, or treat the suspected disease." Maybe they foolishly hoped a cure would be found by now but that doesn't explain or excuse the withholding of literally vital information!