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Parents Who Neglected Firstborn Her Whole Life Demand She Babysit Their “Precious” New Baby

Parents Who Neglected Firstborn Her Whole Life Demand She Babysit Their “Precious” New Baby

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You can’t choose your family, but you can definitely choose to say no to babysitting. Especially when your parents treat you like their “trial run” kid and save all the parenting energy for baby number two. Some parents think once you hit a certain age, you’re an automatic nanny for the younger sibling.

But when the older kid’s fed up with the whole arrangement, things can get a little tricky, because let’s be real, nobody wants to play free babysitter for parents who forgot how to parent the first time around. That’s exactly what one teenage daughter is facing in today’s Reddit story of parenting gone wrong.

More info: Reddit

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    If parenting is a test, then being the firstborn is like being a lab rat

    Image credits: Tima Miroshnichenko / Pexels (not the actual photo)

    One teenage daughter has had enough of her parents treating her like their “trial run” kid but they still demand she babysit her younger sister

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    Image credits: Kaboompics.com / Pexels (not the actual photo)

    The young parents ignore the teen’s needs her entire life, are never there for her when she needs them, yet go on having other kids they actually want to parent

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    Image credits: Nataliya Vaitkevich / Pexels (not the actual photo)

    Image credits: SigannificantFan8104

    The daughter tells her parents they need to take care of their own kid, refusing to babysit for them after they ignored her growing up

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    Our Redditor isn’t your average teen. She spent most of her time at friends’ houses, trying to avoid the fact that her parents, who had her at 18, weren’t exactly winning any Parent of the Year awards. Turns out, they regretted having her so young and basically viewed her as a “trial run.” Can you imagine hearing that?

    And then, just when you’d think they’d have learned a thing or two, along comes baby number two, and suddenly it’s like they unlocked some next-level parenting skills. All the love, all the attention, all the praise? Yeah, that’s reserved for the younger sister.

    Meanwhile, our OP (original poster) gets to sit back and watch as her parents finally start acting like parents, but only for the second kid. I don’t know about you, but I’d be fuming at this point.

    And if that weren’t bad enough, the OP’s parents want her to babysit this magical second child while they go off to more fertility appointments. Yep, because they’re planning for even more kids.

    They’re practically asking their 15-year-old daughter to parent her own sister because they’re too busy making new ones. It’s a classic case of parents viewing their oldest as an extra pair of hands instead of, you know, a teenager with her own life and needs.

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    So, what does the OP do? She hits them with a firm, well-deserved, “Nah, I’m good.” And honestly, can you blame her? Why should she give up her time for a child she didn’t ask for? Especially when her parents barely put in any effort to raise her in the first place. I’d probably do the same thing. Actually, scratch that—I definitely would.

    And don’t even get me started on the “you owe us” argument. Her parents dropped the classic line that the OP should be grateful for everything her parents have done for her. Excuse me, Dad, what exactly would that be?

    Image credits: Pixabay / Pexels (not the actual photo)

    According to our OP, these parents have done the bare minimum—no parent-teacher conferences, no birthday celebrations, no showing up when it mattered most. They didn’t even pick her up from school when she was sick. But now, suddenly, she owes them? For what, exactly? For keeping her alive? I don’t think so. She did a pretty good job at that herself, if you ask me.

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    Look, kids don’t owe their parents anything. They’re supposed to grow up supported and loved, and when that doesn’t happen, it can leave some deep emotional scars. When parents check out emotionally, it’s not just about missing a few hugs or bedtime stories—it creates a sense of unworthiness, as if you’re forever stuck on the sidelines waiting to be seen.

    To find out more on this topic, Bored Panda reached out to Darby Fox, LCSW, a child and adolescent family therapist and author, for some comments. She told us that when a child experiences emotional neglect from a parent, it can severely harm their self-esteem, often leaving long-lasting effects that extend into future relationships.

    “Because the parental bond with their children should be unconditional, we see far reaching damage when children don’t know who supports and encourages them. If there is favoritism, the wound is even deeper because the child internalizes a sense of worthlessness and self-doubt,” Fox explains.

    We asked Fox for some healthy ways teenagers can set boundaries with their parents when they feel overwhelmed by neglect or unfair treatment. She suggested teens express their feelings to their parents using certain techniques that foster healthier communication. For instance, instead of blaming, they should focus on using “I feel” statements, which emphasize their emotions without placing blame on the parents.

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    We wanted to know what steps teens in neglectful households can take to preserve their mental health. Fox told us that teens should seek out support from other trusted adults, such as relatives, teachers, coaches, or mentors. Having someone outside the family who believes in them can significantly boost their self-esteem and resilience.

    We also asked Fox about the consequences teens face when their parents clearly favor a sibling over them. She told Bored Panda that when teens see their parents favoring a sibling, it can lead to feelings of inadequacy, anger, sadness, and a range of other negative emotions. As a result, they may engage in risky behaviors, act out, or fall into depression.

    “It is very hard to believe in yourself if the people who are supposed to love you unconditionally don’t. It is a very unfortunate situation, and parents really need to understand how devastating it can be,” Fox explained.

    At the end of the day, family is supposed to be about love, support, and not guilt-tripping your teenage daughter into babysitting while you play house with the kid you actually feel like parenting this time around. Major props to OP for knowing her worth and not letting her parents walk all over her. If they wanted more kids, they should’ve factored in all the responsibilities that come with that.

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    So, is this teen the A-hole for refusing to babysit? I’m going with a hard no on this one, but what do you think? Drop your thoughts in the comments below.

    Netizens side with the teen saying she’s not a jerk for refusing to babysit for her parents, who neglected her growing up and even called her a “practice run” kid

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    Monica Selvi

    Monica Selvi

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Read more »

    Hi! I'm Moni. I’m a globetrotting creative with a camera in one hand and a notebook in the other. I’ve lived in 4 different countries, an visited 17, soaking up inspiration wherever I go. A marketer by trade but a writer at heart, I’ve been crafting stories, poems, and songs, and creating quirky characters since I was 7.

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    Monica Selvi

    Monica Selvi

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Hi! I'm Moni. I’m a globetrotting creative with a camera in one hand and a notebook in the other. I’ve lived in 4 different countries, an visited 17, soaking up inspiration wherever I go. A marketer by trade but a writer at heart, I’ve been crafting stories, poems, and songs, and creating quirky characters since I was 7.

    Monika Pašukonytė

    Monika Pašukonytė

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    Read more »

    I am a visual editor here. In my free time I enjoy the vibrant worlds of art galleries, exhibitions, and soulful concerts. Yet, amidst life's hustle and bustle, I find solace in nature's embrace, cherishing tranquil moments with beloved friends. Deep within, I hold a dream close - to embark on a global journey in an RV, accompanied by my faithful canine companion. Together, we'll wander through diverse cultures, weaving precious memories under the starry night sky, fulfilling the wanderlust that stirs my soul.

    Read less »

    Monika Pašukonytė

    Monika Pašukonytė

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    I am a visual editor here. In my free time I enjoy the vibrant worlds of art galleries, exhibitions, and soulful concerts. Yet, amidst life's hustle and bustle, I find solace in nature's embrace, cherishing tranquil moments with beloved friends. Deep within, I hold a dream close - to embark on a global journey in an RV, accompanied by my faithful canine companion. Together, we'll wander through diverse cultures, weaving precious memories under the starry night sky, fulfilling the wanderlust that stirs my soul.

    What do you think ?
    Add photo comments
    POST
    Vinnie
    Community Member
    2 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "paying back for all they did for me - " Nope, the OP is paying back for all they did TO her. It's not just revenge to refuse to babysit, it's setting a boundary. How does she know they won't get tired of the second kid and dump it on her? I'm glad the OP has emotionally detached from her parents. Thank goodness for the supportive friends who also showed her what decency and emotional connection look like.

    P Peitsch
    Community Member
    2 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This post and the meaning of your comment is my very first reason, I didn't see my "family" starting with 2009. Being an unwanted child, even worst, one of a single mother, who is still young, in her university years, it's not fun. She fcked up her life having me in the late '70s in an eastern-european country, what meant, no , but absolutely NO kind of birth control. Even condoms were ilegal. She was married with my bio-dad, but that didn't last, and doesn't really helped, when my mother said things like you-are-a-copy-paste-of-your-dad-your-looking-your-mimics. Finally she got a man, when I was 7 years old. Honestly, my step-dad -just 22 years old at that time, tried all of his best, but it was a lost case for both of us, from the beginning. Than I had my brother, 9 years appart. And claims started to come .... When at 9-10 years old, you have to change and wash the textil diaper of your brother, that's not a sane "family". I went NC as soon as I could.

    Load More Replies...
    Tabitha
    Community Member
    2 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So even the grandparents on both sides want nothing to do with OP because of her parents’ behavior? Must some more of those good, pious, “Christians” visiting the sins of the father—-and mother—-on the child. Isn’t that supposed to be a no-no according to the very same Bible which people like that seem to love so much but never actually read?

    LakotaWolf (she/her)
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It seems like the grandparents disowned OP's parents for getting pregnant so young without being married (at the time), and OP's parents never bothered trying to re-establish contact or even tell OP about her grandparents. I imagine that OP's parents moved and didn't tell their parents where they'd gone, so it might not be possible for the grandparents to have easily tracked OP down to make contact. A number of people suggested to OP to check public records for things like her mom's maiden name, which she could then use to find her parents' birth certificates in order to track down her grandparents/other relatives. OP shut those comments down with "That's more work than I want to put into finding them" and "They could feel differently about me but imagine I put all that hard work in and they don't?" I feel very bad for OP as she's in a terrible situation, but she seems to have made up her own narrative about her grandparents' reactions to her BEFORE even bothering to try and find them.

    Load More Replies...
    LakotaWolf (she/her)
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'd normally suggest emancipation for OP, but it doesn't sound like she has a job nor can she support herself. Hopefully she's already looking into scholarships or getting a job when she's 16 and GTFOing as soon as possible.

    Load More Comments
    Vinnie
    Community Member
    2 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "paying back for all they did for me - " Nope, the OP is paying back for all they did TO her. It's not just revenge to refuse to babysit, it's setting a boundary. How does she know they won't get tired of the second kid and dump it on her? I'm glad the OP has emotionally detached from her parents. Thank goodness for the supportive friends who also showed her what decency and emotional connection look like.

    P Peitsch
    Community Member
    2 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This post and the meaning of your comment is my very first reason, I didn't see my "family" starting with 2009. Being an unwanted child, even worst, one of a single mother, who is still young, in her university years, it's not fun. She fcked up her life having me in the late '70s in an eastern-european country, what meant, no , but absolutely NO kind of birth control. Even condoms were ilegal. She was married with my bio-dad, but that didn't last, and doesn't really helped, when my mother said things like you-are-a-copy-paste-of-your-dad-your-looking-your-mimics. Finally she got a man, when I was 7 years old. Honestly, my step-dad -just 22 years old at that time, tried all of his best, but it was a lost case for both of us, from the beginning. Than I had my brother, 9 years appart. And claims started to come .... When at 9-10 years old, you have to change and wash the textil diaper of your brother, that's not a sane "family". I went NC as soon as I could.

    Load More Replies...
    Tabitha
    Community Member
    2 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So even the grandparents on both sides want nothing to do with OP because of her parents’ behavior? Must some more of those good, pious, “Christians” visiting the sins of the father—-and mother—-on the child. Isn’t that supposed to be a no-no according to the very same Bible which people like that seem to love so much but never actually read?

    LakotaWolf (she/her)
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It seems like the grandparents disowned OP's parents for getting pregnant so young without being married (at the time), and OP's parents never bothered trying to re-establish contact or even tell OP about her grandparents. I imagine that OP's parents moved and didn't tell their parents where they'd gone, so it might not be possible for the grandparents to have easily tracked OP down to make contact. A number of people suggested to OP to check public records for things like her mom's maiden name, which she could then use to find her parents' birth certificates in order to track down her grandparents/other relatives. OP shut those comments down with "That's more work than I want to put into finding them" and "They could feel differently about me but imagine I put all that hard work in and they don't?" I feel very bad for OP as she's in a terrible situation, but she seems to have made up her own narrative about her grandparents' reactions to her BEFORE even bothering to try and find them.

    Load More Replies...
    LakotaWolf (she/her)
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'd normally suggest emancipation for OP, but it doesn't sound like she has a job nor can she support herself. Hopefully she's already looking into scholarships or getting a job when she's 16 and GTFOing as soon as possible.

    Load More Comments
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