Horrible grandparents. Kids do what they love, and that should be respected. Definitely NTA.

great dad and terrible granddad

You did what's right never put anyone not even your parents in front of your kids.Your kids will be forever grateful to you.Sometimes parents get older and think it's their right to take advantage of their grown kids.I wish I had known half of what I know now.If I did I wouldn't be in the shape I am in today.Your kids are blessed to have a father who loves them so much.Anr whatever you do do t let your parents move back in with you ever.

I WISH I had a father like him. Absolutely not the AH. At all.

It always amuses me when ‘family’ thinks it’s OK to bash. In my case, I’m happily estranged from them all.

The fact that you re not the asshole in this situation, and yet you are beating yourself up for being an asshole, let’s me know that you are even less of an asshole than I anticipated in the beginning. Grandparents are supposed to be loving and supportive, I believe you are a very good dad to your children.

Definitely NTA. Unfortunately, my parents are kinda like the grandparents at times (both were raised through hardship and tough love). I still remembered the time my dad called me 'weak' for having anxiety and my mom doesn't really take excuses. She doesn't even allow me to skip school if I was sick and stuff. I wish that they'd be more understanding...

The son sounds like a real gentlemen. He will do great, and I seriously hope the daughter's condition will hopefully alleviate at the very least as time goes on...

Put vise grips on the grandfathers tested and squeeze them in front of his wife, keep them on for hours, when he cries out in pain tell him That this is exactly how your daughter feels when she’s suffering and if the wife times in to be empathetic tell her to suck it up

The OP is NTA. You don't talk to your grandchildren in that manner. Being artistic doesn't make a guy less manly. I mean, look at art history. There's Picasso, Van Gogh, Da Vinci. A girl doing sports doesn't make her less of a lady. I think that it's cool that the daughter is into sports in spite of her health condition. On the endometriosis, this girl can't just suck it up and get over it and I think that it's very sweet that her brother takes care of her during that time.

Any parenting site would recommend that until the children are 21, they are to be their parent, not the pal. So his folks are not 'minors' but the teenagers are. He needs to support the children at all levels, to the best of his abilities. His own parents are on their own or keep their opinions to themselves. A warning to change may have been nice, but not necessary.

I can understand. I have a couple of pious aunts who were always talking to my mum about my illnesses/disabilities as though they knew better than us & my doctors, always saying that I should fight through the pain & be more sociable. I also have PCOS/endometriosis, so I understand the frustration. My mum did more or less the same thing & told them where to stick it, adding that they weren’t being very Christian towards their own niece. They still haven’t changed & we aren’t about to bow to their superiority complex! 🤷‍♀️

Protecting your kids comes first. That done, do what you can to mitigate your parents' problems. They are old and they are at risk.

You, Sir, are a wonderful parent of two amazing and wonderful children. I am so happy that you put your children first as they should always be your priority! Your parents, unfortunately, have never learned to parent well and it is therefore amazing that you turned out to be such a fabulous parent yourself! Congratulations on raising two lovely children who care for one another and you. Keep your family close and do not let others hurt you, including your own unfortunate terrible parents who have little compassion for you or their own grandchildren.💖💖💖

They raised this dad?

There is a difference in offering a critique and being critical. Being critical brings stress which can be detrimental to one's mental health and happiness. The grandparents were critical and were warned not to be. They didn't listen. Throw them out and let them criticize life, that's what they do best and they'll be the only ones who will listen

NTA. He might allow them moving in again, if they change this behaviour. You cannot change one's beliefs, at least not instantly, but, for example, the granddad could "man up", here translating into "shut up" when things don't match his opinion on masculinity. He's by no means in order of setting up rules at that home, just because he's Dad's Dad. They can suck it up and accept the things, rules, their son's family as is - or move out finally and for good. Offering that, in case they aren't that toxic in general, would be my approach. Or leaving them outside and everything as is, for knowing which one, I don't know enough of this.

Talk to your children. See how they feel and what they want. They were the targets. Let it be their call. NTAH

It's disturbing to me how they're leaving messages trying to guilt you. It seems like they've been abusive for a long time.

Some parents need to learn that just being a parent doesn't automatically give you a respect.You need to earn it just like anyone else.Giving someone life doesn't give you right to be mean.Good on you dad, you're awesome!

Definitely NTA! Your parents are belittling their own grandchildren and that is awful. Have you tried to explain the magnitude of their actions to them?

Good for him..!! His parents should have been more supportive of their grandkids. I don't blame the OP at all and fair play that he put his children 1st..!! Well done Dad

Umm you let yourself be manipulated into letting them sponge off you and insult the humans you are responsible for even once in your own home???!!! Do you not have a spine and balls?! End your relationship and severe all contact immediately and get yourself into an assertiveness course stat!!

It seems like the type of thing that he could have been spoken to them about without kicking them out but he's right to look out for the well being of his kids. It's hard to say without having met the parents but If they absolutely will not shut their mouths then he did what he had to do.

NTA but not very good at communicating either. Imo, instead of just letting his Dad run his mouth, he should have given a clear warnign earlier.

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Agreed. The grandparents should have told the kids to be weak and to not act appropriately. Wait that doesn't sound right...

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Why couldn't you just help them by getting things they needed so they didn't have to go out? That's all I'd do. Living with others is hard anyway, let alone your parents as an adult.