Impressive that is. How long are they grounded for?

Or… hear me out… common courtesy? That would be nice.

ok ok ok so heres a fun thing my mom did when i was a kid. She would say she was napping and to wake her up in 30 mins so i could help her clean the house. i would never wake her. Learned later in life thats how she got peace and quiet from me.

I find the nowadays one unsettling. It's too adult.

The kid is the 99th

Come to mama, let me kiss that little bruise THAT YOU WOULDN'T HAVE IF ONLY-

I always say one kid will be defending the other in court someday

Mission accomplished.

I don't trust anyone that doesn't believe that their kids are little turds occasionally.

Ha! This is true!

Introverts Unite!

And if dad gave it, the kid would throw the biggest temper tantrum... 😅

Aren't we all 🙄

All of those go together

Having been a kid who took THAI-KWAN-DO and soccer; Yes.

They're growing?

Living the dream!

Why can't I do it at work....

And it's not one of those "pick two" games

This is an issue until about 12 when they decide waking up is an hour long panic attack

How do they do it?

My wife fights to get them to eat vegetables. I respond "we already lost that battle, if they will eat 5 bites of Mac and cheese, that's good enough!"

No, I couldn't find a time machine to go back in time and say "Not tonight, I've got a headache"

See the nearby Science Cereal post.

Make it a Tik Tok challenge and they probably will.

Kid just unlocked the advanced booger wipe maneuver.

... because then you can get out the chocolate and special juice

Just don't forget to take the kids along to that play date. don't ask me how i know.

coffee x 1000000000000

🎶sarcasm🎶

I mean, if you can shower and dry in under 23 seconds.

Lol this brought back memories. My kid went through a phase where he would cry no matter what when we went to the grocery store. I felt so bad for him and anyone else in the store. Sometimes I'd get unsolicited advice about how he was probably hungry/cold/too hot/tired etc. I was like no he just hates stores.

"Keep it a secret, though, will you?"

And tell you he actually preferred pancakes for dinner

That's gotta suck.

Where wine?

It's been 5 hours and I'm still exploring the sales offer

Good thing the photo is cropped not to show kids jumping on the car roof

Don’t mess with mama bear.