No. Simply no. Note the timing - it's all about HER, nothing about easing your pain, nothing about apologising to him, N-O-T-H-I-N-G, just *her*.

In the end, the mother is STILL selfish. She is not looking for repair. She is looking for absolution so she can die without guilt. It's not the daughter's responsibility to absolve her. She will have to make peace with that all on her own. NTA.

C’mon. People believe this story? The biological mother had no way to stop the adoption even though her parents made her sign the documents under false pretenses? I’m pretty sure that kind of circumstance would void the whole process. And what about the father? It's not like one parent can unanimously sign away the kid. Really, people. Stop and think before you take a story on the internet at face value.

If you do get back in touch, don't bring your kids into it, unless they really want to meet their other grandparents. Making them pawns in the drama is not fair to them. You've done a good job shielding then from your parents, don't stop now.

OP's parents might say something sh!tty like "I told you we made the right decision." It could open up old wounds and cause new ones for her kids. Stay away. Living well is the best revenge.

That must have been a hell of a story for the eldest to learn. Glad that the family is back together now.

OPs parents have been dead to her for decades. Keep it that way. She doesn't owe them a moment of time or a breath of air.

They only want contact to feel better about themselves and how horrible they were. Tell them to eat a bag of d**ks.

My heart breaks for you. And F them. They can rot. You are much kinder and more mature than me.

I am in the early stages of this grief. I am no contact for the time being. At this point an apology would not be enough. I have suffered a life time of manipulation at my mother's hands because I, like the OP, trusted unconditionally.

Oh, hell no. I could never ever speak to anyone who did something so awful and cruel. Her mum clearly doesn't care about her daughter or grandkids and just wants to feel better about herself before she kicks the bucket, she deserves to feel every bit of guilt and pain she feels now after what she did. Surely if they were tricked into signing the papers they could have got a lawyer and fought the adoption? Even 20- 30yrs ago most countries had laws to protect against things like this, my aunt gave up a baby in the 80s and was told she had 6 months to change her mind and had to sign additional papers confirming she wasn't being coerced or doing it under duress.

If her parents really cared they would not wait until one of them was dying.

Biological father left when I was 2 or 3. Don't remember him. Came back when I was in my early 30s. Refused to see him. Everyone said I'd regret it. He's been dead for about 10 years and NO REGRETS. He was and will always be, a stranger to me.

I'm sorry but doing well will just confirm to the idiots they did the right thing.

I see here another aspect: An unwanted pregnancy of a teenager, which caused too much pain and sorrow and could had been avoided if...! Because a stupidly conservative society refuses to accept the need of sexual education for its children. Pathetic.

If you met them they will just misinterpret you intentionally because they are desperate for forgiveness/vindication/redemption or whatever. They won’t listen to you and will continue to defend their actions, probably even use your success and your son doing well as “evidence” that they made the right choice for you and him. I don’t think you should have to endure that absolute failure to acknowledge their wrongs and their screwed up justification that they acted in your best interest. They aren’t sorry for anything and they don’t deserve the connection with you or the beautiful life you created yourself, they will try to scuff it up. Ignore them completely. Horrid people

I'll have to turn your invitation down. I just got the child back you stole from me two decades ago. I can't risk you stealing another.

OP should continue to go NC. They are DEAD to her.

She shouldnt give them the satisfaction of meeting the beautiful children they missed out on . Would the closure be for the daughter or the parents ? I would be hesitiant about my children meeting my parents if i were in this situation. What impact would it have on the child who was adopted out? If she feels she needs to see her parents her and her husband should go without the kids. It was a trap the first time .

Tell your son (and any other adult kids you may have) they want to meet him. He's old enough to make the decision and arrangements himself. If he wants to meet them, he can do so. But I don't think you should interact with them directly or have them meet your other kids (who aren't adults).

Kicking you out was wrong. I can understand from a parent's point of view believing a teen girl of 15 would be better off placing a child up for adoption over rearing the child. It was wrong to force the adoption with the teen's consent, but I can understand that a parent would believe 15 years olds aren't ready to parent. You are right to be angry and don't need to forgive the unforgivable. However, they might have truly thought they were doing what was best. While you missed your son, he had good adoptive parents and you and your husband had time to grow up and develop careers before you had a second child. Do what you think is best, but maybe talk to them and try to understand where they came from. It might be too late to have them meet your children. How do you explain their grandparents absence their whole life? You can talk to her. You don't have to forgive her. Maybe try for some understanding for your own healing.

Send pictures of your family, highlighting the first born saying " This is what you missed and will never know" . Personally I would add "Rot in hell". But that's me. Then I would have your in-laws block all contact and live your best life.

Your husband wants to give them a big F-u by rubbing your family in their face but nothing says F-u better than silence. If you meet them, it will be exactly what they want even if your sole reason for going is to tell them off because if you do that, she will go to her grave thinking that you are the problem and likely that the distance was probably for the best-for them. Also, keep your kids out of it. They don't know them. They already have loving grandparents, they don't need these two losers and you don't need to set yourself up for questions and a possible negative reaction towards you from your kids. Leave it be sweetie. The only person you owe anything to is yourself. You've come so far. Just keep on going!!👏👏👏👏👏

Make the decision that won’t play on your mind for the rest of your life - Whatever your gut tells you that decision is.

I would want to go to them and vent out my years of pain.

These people gave away the privilege of being grandparents when they lied to their daughter, stole her child to be adopted by strangers. NO......they do NOT deserve to meet their grandchildren or even ask their daughter's forgiveness. These people are despicable and deserve to live and die with their mistakes. Karma is real, let these people find out just how real it is.

They kicked her out for teenaged pregnancy, forced her to sign paperwork under false pretenses which caused her to lose her baby, forced her back in once the baby was gone, not once but multiple times and probably verbally abused her and blamed her for all that went on during that time if she tried to unalienable herself, continued the gaslighting and other abuse and went NC with her and now they want to reach out and someone people think she's TA for not jumping on the bandwagon?! What is wrong with people?!

I'm putting 50/50 on whether this story is true. And from the comments - 'do whatever gives you the most peace'.

At this point, it's not up to you. Your first born is a 20 yr old adult. Depending on the ages of your other children, if they are old enough to understand, I would sit everyone down and explain what was done to you and your husband. How it made you feel. How you feel about your family and let them know what your family has asked for. Let them decide. Your deciding for them is as bad as they having decided for you. No matter what each decides, respect their right to either meet their grandparents or not to. Leave your pain out as much as you can.

I need an update.

F**k em. Just f**k em. I am 100% with the dad here. Go there show them how well the two parents and the kid they threw away have done with their lives. Revel in the revenge of knowing you lead a good life and did not let evil win.

I would let that firstborn son decide. tell him the full details of his birth & adoption and let him decide if he wants to say anything to those folks or hear anything from them. If he chooses to & wants her support there for it, she should go see them

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This one is an obvious fake. The author laid it it on too thick with the rhubarb pudding details. As well, even decades ago, the father and the family could contest an adoption or the mother, aided by his family, could have changed her mind.