I might say ESH but the phrase "step up to [her] responsibility as an aunt" grates on me. You had a child so now I have more responsibilities? I think not.

I have a daughter, 12, I also have a brother, he has two children,13 & 15,, we both have times when we use each other to look after each other’s children, they all get along very well. MY daughter is not his responsibility, HIS children are not my responsibility. With 5 days notice of changes to a plan for my daughter then it is on ME to be organised and work out a plan if that’s not possible then it’s on ME, she is my child and the number one priority is her so I have to rearrange my plans. That’s called being a parent, yes we use grandparents who love spending time with their grandchildren, yes we try to help each other out but there’s zero pressure to be ‘a good uncle’ or be inconvenienced by someone else’s lack of planning. FFS take ownership of your family and your commitments. You don’t come first, that ended when you decided to become a parent, yes your time is important but when it is your child that may suffer then it’s on YOU to take the hit. Tough.

Oh please. Just tell them not to bother asking you for babysitting ever again until they apologize and see how quickly they fold.

If op had cancelled at the last minute, mom would have the right to feel let down. To have that much notice and then to ignore it, turn up at ops door and then even be condescending about it is so out of line. The only people with who should have a expectation to look after a child put on them are the childs parents. Mom failed.

I was all set with YTA, and then read the whole thing. Definitely NTA. It wasn't known that college friends would show up for one night only - of course you'd want to get together! 5 days' notice is plenty. It's the responsibility of the mother of the child to make other arrangements or at least communicate to her sister and let her now she hasn't found an alternative, could maybe OP know of someone who could help? Then the whole Jade thing wouldn't have been an issue.

I don't understand the ESH on this one: leaving the child with OH while she is not consenting to it and then switching off the phone is downright bullying (and reckless as: what if there was an emergency or so?). By not even giving oh the chance to discuss her babysitting arrangement, she clearly lost her right to complain afterwards!

I am wondering if your family has always shown a reference for your sister, and that is why you feel sad and helpless. This preference in the face of obviously poor behavior by your sister is troubling.

There is so much wrong. Never assume, always confirm that other person understands. Aunt assumed her sister understood that she has personal life. Her sister assumed that auntie would sucriface time for her sweet baby niece. And if her sister doesn't trust her judgement (choosing Jade and friends in general), then she shouldn't trust her with babysitting. But yeah, she just did it out of spit... She should be prepared that babysitters are usually strangers.

NTA. In fact, I'd say your sister and BIL are. You were doing them a favor. They can do what most other parents do who can't find a sitter... stay home with their baby and celebrate their anniversary out another night. Pretty selfish on their part.

NTA: you warned her days in advance. She READ the message but ignored it thinking youd just drop plans if she showed up. Which she did dashed n shut her phone off so you couldnt contact HER in emergency. You made the mature call to inlist a close friend n ACTUAL babysitter to help and told your sis contact info. As for the family explain what happened how she disrespected your wishes n blew off your desires

NTA. Not even close. Next time don't answer the door. If somehow you're in the same situation, call the cops and give them the sister's number.

I haven't seen (may have missed) anyone commenting on the fact that after finding out she left her niece with a "stranger", and her sister being so upset, the sister didn't rush from her dinner to pick her child up. If she was truly worried about her daughter being "endangered" she would have immediately left the dinner and picked her child up. Instead, she picked her up "later that night". Sister needs to suck it up and get over it. I took my babies with me to my anniversary dinners because I didn't have options for sitters. Worked out fine.

A little bit off topic, but I wouldn't even watch my nephew without my sister or my BIL beeing in screaming distance. He was born at 32 weeks and still needs some medical devices monitoring him at 10 weeks old. They showed me how everything works and I'm totally fine if they go sleeping or do whatever, I'll even take a walk with him - but I would never go further than a couple 100 meters. It will probably take a couple of months until any of us are willing to watch him without his parents nearby.

She did let them know 5 days ahead not her problem anymore. Sister takes advantage didn’t try to find other baby sitter.

A couple of things that don't sit right with me. A) she sent a text, saw it was 'read' and didn't follow that up with another text to check in or better yet, call her directly and have a real conversation. B) OP let her sis know where her daughter was, with address and phone#, sis 'blew up' phone with spam ,then OP turns her phone off, leaves me with a pot and kettle debate. leaving it on but silent so she'd be able to respond if Jade needed to talk to her. Otherwise she looks as bad as Mom. 25 years ago, people had better manners than to text instead of speaking to the person. This is how to avoid having to deal with unpleasant situations. " I assumed it was ok" , by her not following through with a call, left that wishy washy big hole open for this outcome. Better yet to call instead and got a sense of what the sis might try to pull, and maybe issue a threat of what OP would do if not respected.

I agree with Gabby Ghoul - how in the hell is her decision to pop out puppies _your_ responsibility??!!??? Wtf with people, really

Everyone is an AH. You agreed to babysit for their anniversary and then cancelled when better plans come along. That's AH behaviour. Mum leaving baby anyway is AH behaviour and negligent (however if agreeing to help then cancelling for your own night out is common practice for you, then I maybe get her pov a bit more). You should never have left the baby with someone the parents and baby sisnt know tho.

They are all idiots and everyone involved needs to be investigated by CPS and the police. Mom and Dad, BOTH, The OP, and the lady that said a random strangers BABY is OK to be with her without parental consent which is kidnapping. Good God, what the hell is WRONG with you people.

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Esh, i think everything is TA here