Woman Rejects Dying Parents’ Plea To Adopt Nephew: “Huge Relief That I Don’t Have Kids”

Interview With Author

Having kids is and should ultimately be the decision of the folks who will have to put in the work to raise them. So it’s not surprising that some couples choose to be childless. However, there are still some folks out there who insist that they get a say in other people’s decisions.

A woman asked the internet if she was wrong to refuse to adopt her nephew because she and her partner chose to be childfree. Despite the fact that her cousin was willing and able to take the boy in, her parents kept pushing her to adopt. We got in touch with the woman who asked for advice online and she was kind enough to answer some of our questions.

Adopting the kids of a family member who can’t look after them is not a terrible idea

Woman Rejects Dying Parents’ Plea To Adopt Nephew: “Huge Relief That I Don't Have Kids”

Image credits: Vika Glitter / pexels (not the actual photo)

But one childless couple ended up being constantly pressured to take in their nephew

Woman Rejects Dying Parents’ Plea To Adopt Nephew: “Huge Relief That I Don't Have Kids”

Image credits: Pavel Danilyuk / pexels (not the actual photo)

Woman Rejects Dying Parents’ Plea To Adopt Nephew: “Huge Relief That I Don't Have Kids”

Image credits: yellowtankship

The post went viral quite quickly

Bored Panda got in touch with the netizen who shared the request for advice online and they were kind enough to answer some of our questions. Firstly, we wanted to know some more about the decision to reach out to the internet. “I posted on R/childfree looking for some advice that wasn’t my friends or partner. I was feeling selfish for not wanting to adopt my nephew but then told myself not to because I chose not to be a parent.”

“I had a wonderful childhood and wonderful parents, BUT I also remember the sacrifices my parents made to make sure my half sister and I had what we needed. I don’t want to sacrifice more than I already do in life,” she shared with Bored Panda. After all, one does not have to look far to find other examples of parents needing to frequently drop everything for their kids. These days, for a variety of reasons, the number of childfree couples is actually growing.

We were also curious to hear her thoughts on some of the comments, reactions and suggestions. “I was blown away by the comments. I was overjoyed with how many comments were supporting my decision and encouraging me to stick to it, if that’s what I truly want. There were a few that really made me think about how my mother acts about the situation. My dad started his cancer treatment earlier than we expected so the end of life planning with the lawyer has been delayed. Neither my mother nor father has mentioned it since last Monday.”

Woman Rejects Dying Parents’ Plea To Adopt Nephew: “Huge Relief That I Don't Have Kids”

Image credits: Maksim Goncharenok / pexels (not the actual photo)

Being childfree doesn’t mean that someone doesn’t like kids

We also wanted to hear her thoughts on the overarching question and why so many netizens found the thread to be engaging. “I think people were intrigued by the post because of how society grooms us to believe everyone’s duty is to be a parent. I am so happy that child-free people are speaking up.”

“I would like to add that I LOVE my niece and nephew. My niece is 20 and starting her own life. My nephew is six and I love his imagination and ideas. I know I can’t be the parent he needs. I have too much hate and resentment toward his biological mother. It would not be fair to him,” she shared.

It’s hard to imagine a successful relationship where both parties disagree on whether to have kids. Inevitably, this will be a point of contention and resentment, no matter what direction the decision goes in. This is why many people tend to make their position known before committing to something long term. Indeed, the question of marriage and kids are, both for and against, are generally the main deciders of a long term relationship.

Woman Rejects Dying Parents’ Plea To Adopt Nephew: “Huge Relief That I Don't Have Kids”

Image credits: cottonbro studio / pexels (not the actual photo)

Netizens shared their thoughts and the woman answered some questions

Woman Rejects Dying Parents’ Plea To Adopt Nephew: “Huge Relief That I Don't Have Kids”

Others did their best to give some advice

Woman Rejects Dying Parents’ Plea To Adopt Nephew: “Huge Relief That I Don't Have Kids”

Poll Question

Thanks! Check out the results:

I am a writer at Bored Panda. Despite being born in the US, I ended up spending most of my life in Europe, from Latvia, Austria, and Georgia to finally settling in Lithuania. At Bored Panda, you’ll find me covering topics ranging from the cat meme of the day to red flags in the workplace and really anything else. In my free time, I enjoy hiking, beating other people at board games, cooking, good books, and bad films.

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Hi there! I am a Visual Editor at Bored Panda. My job is to ensure that all the articles are aesthetically pleasing. I get to work with a variety of topics ranging from all the relationship drama to lots and lots of memes and, my personal favorites, funny cute cats. When I am not perfecting the images, you can find me reading with a cup of matcha latte and a cat in my lap, taking photos (of my cat), getting lost in the forest, or simply cuddling with my cat... Did I mention that I love cats?

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What do you think ?

POST

TribbleThinking 1 month ago

The mother is stupid and all about what she wants, exactly as she wants. If she truly cared about the child, she should be talking up the cousin and easing its transition into the care of parents who want it.

14points

LakotaWolf (she/her) 1 month ago

The mother is a meth addict. The mother likely isn't capable of "talking up" the cousin or ANYONE about ANYTHING. The mother has repeatedly chosen meth over her children. She's an addict. She doesn't care about either one of her children or else she'd get clean. I had a struggle with substance abuse a few years ago. I got clean because I realized I was responsible to my pets, and me continuing to use was only hurting their wellbeing. I was able to get clean for my CATS. OP's half-sister can't even get clean for her children. She's never going to get clean unless she WANTS to.

0points

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Kimberly Bailey 1 month ago

We have enough neglected and abused children in "the system". No one should ever be forced to become a parent.

5points

G Bono 1 month ago

Well, given the current political and social environment in the US, the No-Choice side has won the battle of forcing women to give birth (promises of taking care of the baby (until its born) and put the kids ... they don't actually care about kids once they're out of the womb, so where they go isn't really a concern. Anyone who actively discourages women from an abortion, be required to adopt a child they forced a woman to birth, otherwise they should stfu and stay (quietly) in their lane

10points

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Weasel Wise 1 month ago

Stick with what you know, if you don't want kids, don't have a child, even through adoption. It's not fair to the child to be quasi-wanted and it's not fair to one's self to do so.

4points

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POST

TribbleThinking 1 month ago

14points

LakotaWolf (she/her) 1 month ago

0points

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Kimberly Bailey 1 month ago

We have enough neglected and abused children in "the system". No one should ever be forced to become a parent.

5points

G Bono 1 month ago

10points

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Weasel Wise 1 month ago

Stick with what you know, if you don't want kids, don't have a child, even through adoption. It's not fair to the child to be quasi-wanted and it's not fair to one's self to do so.

4points

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Woman Rejects Dying Parents’ Plea To Adopt Nephew: “Huge Relief That I Don’t Have Kids”

Adopting the kids of a family member who can’t look after them is not a terrible idea