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Here at Bored Panda, we feature a good handful of stories about young children and the adorable things they say. But occasionally, we cover some oddities in a child’s innocent mind, some of which border on the realm of creepiness. 

Today, you’re about to read firsthand accounts from parents who provided answers to the Reddit question: “What is the most disturbing thing your child has done?” Their responses were nothing less than shocking, with narratives about children talking to themselves, playing with a chef’s knife, and physically hurting another child over a toy. 

Enjoy scrolling as you gain more insights about what goes on in a child’s mind.

This post may include affiliate links.

#1

“Yes, We Are In Therapy”: 30 Parents Share The Most Disturbing Thing They’ve Seen Their Child Do Not my child, but a client's child. Before the incident I’m about to relay, she had been diagnosed with manic depression with psycho pathic tendencies. Anyway one day her mom is driving and she Realizes her daughter is super quiet in the backseat. She turns back to see what’s going on and her daughter is sitting there quietly with a pencil sticking out of her cheek. She literally stuck a pencil in her cheek without making a sound and then just sat there like it was normal. She was nine.

Scarlaymama0721 , freepik Report

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#2

“Yes, We Are In Therapy”: 30 Parents Share The Most Disturbing Thing They’ve Seen Their Child Do My 3 year old stuck her thumb out on the main road as if to hitchhike I was shocked and I asked where she learnt that from, she said she used to do that to get around when she was a big girl. That was creepy well for me anyway.

Any-Difficulty-8694 , freepik Report

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#3

“Yes, We Are In Therapy”: 30 Parents Share The Most Disturbing Thing They’ve Seen Their Child Do My daughter told me about her imaginary friend... details... dress color... hair color... on and on and on. I stood there saying "oh that's neat" at 3am trying to coax her back to sleep. Then she said "oh she says she knows you. Her name is Mischa!" Growing up i'd also had an imaginary friend named Mischa. Instantly awake. She fell back to sleep a little later and I figured it was a fluke.

Couple of months later mom gave me a box of drawings she'd found cleaning out the closet from when I was young- 3 or 4- and while going through them my daughter grabs my arm and says "see- Mischa!" and pointed to a drawing I'd done from school titled "my friends". Same color dress (yellow) same hair color (reddish black). Nearly s**t myself. I don't believe in the supernatural, and nothing remotely like this has happened since in the 4 years since this happened and her imaginary friend has come and gone, but her sister is turning 3 and I'm waiting for the name again.

I don't remember the "girl" I used to play with in the woods by my childhood house, but my daughter had backstory that sounded very familiar. Id try to press her for details when all this was going on and my daughter would just giggle and say "you know, dada, you just forgot. That's ok." and pat my arm and walk away.

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#4

About 2 months before I got pregnant with her, I had a miscarriage. So here she is, about 3 years old and she starts to apologize, "mommy I'm sorry I had to leave you" I asked her what she meant, she said "I was in your belly but I had to go away, then I came back and stay and I'm here now." she didn't know about the miscarriage.

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Red PANda (she/they/he/ze)
Red PANda (she/they/he/ze)
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1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I’ve heard several stories similar to this. I hope they make people feel better about their miscarriages

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#5

“Yes, We Are In Therapy”: 30 Parents Share The Most Disturbing Thing They’ve Seen Their Child Do I came here in hopes of feeling better about myself and my son (4yrs)..... But here we go.

My son, for over a year has been afraid of something green in the same spot on the ceiling. He continues to tell me, "shh, don't wake the Grinch."

At day care, he has face stomped a kid at nap time, because he took a toy horse from my son on day one at the day care.

Used a toy stethoscope to choke a kid ( because he wanted the toy) when I tried to explain how it hurt the kid, my son told me, well he didn't say anything.
No child, he didn't say anything because he couldn't breathe.

Yes, we are in therapy.

sunshine11187 , freepik Report

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#6

“Yes, We Are In Therapy”: 30 Parents Share The Most Disturbing Thing They’ve Seen Their Child Do Woke up to my Mom's house mate's kid (5 years old?) sneaking through the house with a 10" chef knife at like 2am. He gave me the knife and I asked him what he was doing. He said he was afraid of "the man who walks around in the yard at night" and said he was out there now.

I hyped up both my dogs and we searched EVERYWHERE. Yard, shed, barn, under the house, ect. Didn't find anyone. Super worrisome.

The next morning I told his mom and she was like "oh yeah, he just does that sometimes. It's like his monster under the bed or whatever." She just put the knives on a shelf he couldn't reach.

unknownsliver , Rachel Tayse / Flickr Report

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#7

“Yes, We Are In Therapy”: 30 Parents Share The Most Disturbing Thing They’ve Seen Their Child Do At four years old, she came two floors downstairs in the middle of the night and asked which of us was rattling her doorknob trying to get in her room.

Spoiler alert; it was neither of us.

raistliniltsiar , freepik Report

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#8

“Yes, We Are In Therapy”: 30 Parents Share The Most Disturbing Thing They’ve Seen Their Child Do Put a very hot pepper in his mouth.

Cry. Wheeze. Cry again. Exclaim that he hates it.

Then proceed to do it again.

Didn't cry the second time.

The f**k.

anon , pvproductions / freepik Report

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Mari
Mari
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1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You have to taste at least 10 times to know if you like of dislike something.

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#9

“Yes, We Are In Therapy”: 30 Parents Share The Most Disturbing Thing They’ve Seen Their Child Do I'm thirteen years older than my sister, so I basically functioned as a third parent, and I've always thought she was a touch off. When she was about four or five, she had a phase where she kept tying her toys together. I'd come in a room she had been playing in, and she'd have a string wrapped around a toy horse's neck, then wrapped around a lamp, then wrapped around a doll's neck, then wrapped around a chair leg--and there'd be several strings and ropes tied in this way.

Literally the entire room would be a web of toys and strings. It looked like a child's version of a SAW movie, and it was a pain in the butt to help her clean up. One day when I was watching her I told her not to do it, she agreed, and then I came back in not too long after and she had somehow done it anyway.

She was sitting in a chair looking at me indirectly, like she was nervous. I was irritated and asked her why she did it after she said she wouldn't, and she said the most future-serial-k*ller sentence I have ever heard: Sometimes I just do things and I don't really understand why I'm doing them.

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1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

well..... kids do stuff and they don't know why... that's what kids do, their brain is learning to be wired correctly, what do you expect, that they are already making only rational decisions? Kuddos to her being honest, and to the environment allowing her to be honest

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#10

Not a parent, but me freaking my parents out--

My mom used to get migraines a lot when I was little. I had a small stuffed animal named Peaches, and I guess I was scared or nervous about my mom's health and trying to deal with it because apparently I decided that Peaches got a lot of migraines too. This went on for a while-- I had to take care of Peaches because he always had headaches. I must've been four or five at the time.

Then someone left the TV on by accident and I saw a news segment about acupuncture. I was overjoyed and went into my mom's sewing kit and stuck a whole bunch of push-pins deep into Peaches' head. Nobody noticed right away and I think it was a few days later when my mom or dad saw me carrying Peaches around and noticed a shitton of needles crammed in there. My uncle asked me why I did that and I was calm and content when I looked at him, shrugged, and said *"Peaches doesn't have headaches anymore."*

Since he didn't know the backstory, according to him it was the creepiest thing I've ever said, like a little pigtailed psychopath. It took my parents a bit of digging to figure out my rationale and where it came from, and that I'd been trying to fix, not kill, my favorite stuffed animal. It was pretty straightforward for them to explain "uhhh.... no, never do that" but hopefully they moved the sewing kit to a higher shelf anyway.

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#11

“Yes, We Are In Therapy”: 30 Parents Share The Most Disturbing Thing They’ve Seen Their Child Do My daughter ran into my room at like 1:30 in the morning and told me there was a man watching her through her window. I ran outside ready to beat the s**t out of someone and to my surprise, there was no one there. In confusion i looked through the window only to see her covering her eyes. I waited untill she opened her eyes to tell her that its alright but next thing i know she yelled "LOOK OUT DAD". I turn around and threw a punch, and hit absolutely nothing. She then ran outside with a knife and stabbed the floor and said "we did it , we k*lled it". I asked her to draw a picture of "it" and she drew something that resembled a red enderman. I was confused as heck but i played along and celebrated. She never did anything like that again but that was weird as heck.

monkey_soop , Racool_studio / freepik Report

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1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Um…did no one notice the part where he let his kid outside with a knife?!

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#12

“Yes, We Are In Therapy”: 30 Parents Share The Most Disturbing Thing They’ve Seen Their Child Do She dipped her chocolate muffin in ketchup. And then she ATE it.

calyxte212 , Racool_studio / Freepik Report

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1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not the worst flavour combination I could imagine.

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#13

“Yes, We Are In Therapy”: 30 Parents Share The Most Disturbing Thing They’ve Seen Their Child Do Not parent, but brother who is 14 years younger than me.

Our parents were out and my sister was looking after our brother. He had gone to bed, and she went to close his door. As she did, he bolted up and had a huge grin and he just told her, "The man is coming for us. He likes the darkness."

My sister kinda just froze, nodded, said okay, walked over to him and pushed him (gently) back down onto the bed, walked out of the room and turned on every single light in the house.

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1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Call me a wuss all you want, I'd do the same. I never believed in supernatural things until I saw some things that I couldn't explain. There is more out there than the material world.

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#14

I was a newly single parent, working on a divorce, first (very small) apartment I achieved on my own, post separation. I decided to get my kids a cat. My then 5 year old, who has a few behavioral disorders (adhd, odd, spd, ptsd). She’s struggling to cope and manage her disorders so she has to be watched closely at all times. One day she’s playing with the cat and I hear the microwave shut. She was not allowed to use any kitchen appliances on her own. So yup, if you guessed she put the cat in the microwave, you’re correct. Luckily as soon as I heard it I jumped up and ran. She didn’t turn it on, but she did find herself grounded, including from the cat.

Another time, almost 2 years ago. Still struggling with all of her behavioral disorders. I had moved into a bigger house, safety plan still in place for said child. We are about to watch a movie or something, and get everything ready (snacks, blankets etc) and child goes missing. She liked to hide in places and not come out until she was found. After searching all of her hiding spots, she’s still not found. After about 30 minutes of looking (felt like an eternity) and about 5 minutes before I called 911. She turns up at the front door. Absolutely filthy. Pupils dilated to the size of saucers. Her excuse was “the cat wanted to show how he gets in and out from the basement” I have no idea what kind of narnia a*s wardrobe this cat took her to.

Roughly same time, said child liked to draw, paint, and color. One day she brings me some of her art work. But this time, it is a story, or some sort of lyrics. At this time she was behind academically and didn’t know how to read, or write or words very well.. but here this letter talks about demons and how lost she would be without me. Some scary, eye catching stuff coming from your young child. I kept this letter, to remind all of us how far she’s come, hard times do get better

Needless to say, safety measures became more strict, psychologist was fired, meds put in place. She is no longer impulsive or defiant to this extent. She’s now struggling with sleep paralysis but we have made phenomenal grounds over the last year.

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1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I still wouldn't have a family pet in the home, just in case this kid takes a turn for the behaviotal worst.

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#15

My son was learning about the body and how organs function. When my husband woke up from sleeping in that weekend, he ran up to him and shouted "I love your organs!", then skipped away merrily. My husband had no context and was super weirded out until I explained, lol.

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#16

He gets in trouble for making fingerguns at a kid during recess. Gets in punished. A week later, he takes a Nerf Triad to school because he didn't think finger guns should have gotten him in trouble. After I pick him up from school, as I'm discussing his actions with him, I turn out his backpack to find MODIFIED NERF DARTS with THUMBTACKS inserted into the ends.

This little punk doesn't realize how close his idiocy was to making the local news.

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1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Jesus f**k keep a watch on this kid, especially if this is in America!

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#17

“Yes, We Are In Therapy”: 30 Parents Share The Most Disturbing Thing They’ve Seen Their Child Do My wife’s sister stabbed her with a sharp pencil in the eye when she was 2 years old because “her eyes were too big”. Needless to say, my wife was bleeding from her eye and still has a small mark on her eye ball from the pencil 23 years later.

anon , katemangostar / freepik Report

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#18

We live across the street from a graveyard and we get up super early to catch the school bus. So here we are at 6am standing at the dark bus stop all alone. My son points across the street and says: "Why is that man sitting by himself?" 😱

There was no one there. Nearly s**t myself. Thanks, kid.

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#19

Perhaps not disturbing, but terrifying as a parent. We were on a vacation in Chicago staying at a random Fairfiled Inn or something downtown. Our bed was separated by a divider in the room and two of our kids were sleeping in a pull out couch on the other side. Around 3am awoke to sounds of velcro and it sounded like my kid was putting his shoes on (he was). Next thing I know I hear the hotel room door opening. I leaped further than I thought possible across the entire suite and was able to grab him just as the door was about to close and pulled him back into the room.

He was sleepwalking, but I shudder to think what might've happened if I wasn't roused by the sound of him putting on shoes.....

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Me
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1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Frightening indeed. Will close doors and may consider these portable alarms for the next time we stay away from home, as my son did the exact same thing, but at home. He was half asleep and said he wanted to visit his grandparents (who live downstairs) but fell in a deep sleep immediately when we put him in bed.

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#20

“Yes, We Are In Therapy”: 30 Parents Share The Most Disturbing Thing They’ve Seen Their Child Do 3.5 year old threw literal rocks at his helpless newborn sister in her car seat because he was mad that we were leaving the park. Kids do some messed up stuff.

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1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hmmm. Maybe the parents need to watch that kid pretty closely. Sounds like it might be antisocial behavior.

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#21

“Yes, We Are In Therapy”: 30 Parents Share The Most Disturbing Thing They’ve Seen Their Child Do Not really done, but said. My daughter at 3 years old once woke me in the middle of the night crying and shaking. She said she saw a ghost. I asked what the ghosts name was, she said she didn't know, followed by "I ask the ghost its name". The next morning, she calmly tells me that the ghost's name is Charlie. It was particularly odd, because she's not the kind of kid that's creative with names (every dog stuffed animal is named "Doggie", dolls are "Dolly", etc. So the ghost having a very clear, real name was unusual for her. For months she'd tell me about Charlie and how he hangs out in the tree by her window.

JasonBob , gpointstudio / Freepik Report

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#22

“Yes, We Are In Therapy”: 30 Parents Share The Most Disturbing Thing They’ve Seen Their Child Do My 8 month old son woke up at two in the morning laughing. Laughing hard. Staring right into the baby camera.

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#23

“Yes, We Are In Therapy”: 30 Parents Share The Most Disturbing Thing They’ve Seen Their Child Do I remember when my daughter was about...four, and my son was about 2, she gave him this dark look. He chewed off the head of her favorite cat doll.

"It would take more than fire to destroy you."

It was clear as a damn bell! She had a slight shudder, couldn't pronounce certain word well, but she said that sentence clear as day in a real angry tone.

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1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

yeah, I can relate. Priests have tried using normal fire on me, and boy oh boy is it embarrassing for them when I'm unharmed. Just use blessed water people!

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#24

“Yes, We Are In Therapy”: 30 Parents Share The Most Disturbing Thing They’ve Seen Their Child Do My son used to sleepwalk occasionally when he was little (6-8). One night he came over while his dad and I were sitting on the couch and told us “I don't like the people in the basement. They’re too loud.”

Good thing the couch was brown because someone may have pooped in my pants right then.

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1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well I hope the someone who pooped in your pants was you!

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#25

I’m not a parent but I’ll be speaking on my parents behalf, as I did something pretty disturbing when I was a wee boy, much too young to remember. We were celebrating Christmas at my grandparents house in Louisiana and idk how it happened but at some point I gashed my hand wide open.

Usually a small child would scream and cry, but apparently I just waddled through the kitchen, completely expressionless, and into the next room over. In said room was a very old Bible, I think it was my great grandmas. My family noticed my lack of presence in the kitchen and went searching for me.

They eventually found me smearing my bloody hand all over the old Bible and tearing it’s pages to shreds. I’m not religious but this story has always creeped me out, idk what got into me, but I guess I was pretty metal back then lmao.

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#26

“Yes, We Are In Therapy”: 30 Parents Share The Most Disturbing Thing They’ve Seen Their Child Do My daughter has what I can only assume are nightmares. She doesn't recall them at all, and is still sound asleep when it's happening, but when it started I would hear her little voice getting louder and louder "no... No! Help [mom or dad]"

Daddy rolled in hot the first time it happened, I was ready to ventilate someone. She was sound asleep.

WoWLaw , pvproductions / freepik Report

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Me
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1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I know how this sounds frightening for those who hear the kids scream in their sleep, but it could have been a dream like my son, who talks in his sleep often, has once in a while: He screams and calls my name and than he says something like: more butter, please!! Nooo cheese! We forgot Waui (toy)!!! Me first!!!

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#27

Not a parent. Older cousin who lives with younger cousin.

Hes a sweetheart and lovely. He was 4 at the time, hes now 5.

He said at breakfast, out of the blue, "Today is a good day to go on a m*rder streak." No one here is allowed to watch that stuff.

He showed me a drawing of him looking in a mirror and in the reflection a demon was there. He pointed to the demon and said "That's me." He ended up getting a mental evaluation. He's fine, just creepy. I don't have a picture. I can redraw it and post it if you wanna see it.

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1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If every kid who did something weird ended up a serial killer in adulthood, there would be a *lot* more serial killers.

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#28

My 2.5 year old daughter told my wife "grandma is in the curtains". My MIL died several years ago 😳.

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#29

“Yes, We Are In Therapy”: 30 Parents Share The Most Disturbing Thing They’ve Seen Their Child Do My 12-year-old will occasionally scream while sleeping. It makes your hair stand up when you get woke from a deep sleep. I have also woken up in the middle of the night to see him standing right next to my bed. Sometimes just facing the wall or staring at me. He is always "sleep walking" and I can escort him back to bed. Trouble is, I never know how long he has been up. He never remembers any of it.

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#30

My 10 year old hot wired the car and started backing out of the driveway.

Luckily I caught up to him and was able to hop in and stop it before it crashed into my neighbor's mailbox.

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#31

I woke up in the middle of the night to hear a little voice softly repeating “it’s so dark”. Still half-awake, I briefly thought I was being haunted. It eventually registered that the voice was coming from my toddler’s bedroom across the hall. I went to investigate and found him awake in his bed and his nightlight burnt out.

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#32

My son 4 yrs. Old loved watching the price is right, this was when Bob Barker was the host, anyway my son would clap, yell with excitement along with the audience. When someone would lose he would be so disappointed for them. Until one day he got so pissed off, i was in another room, hes yelling throw the old man in the dryer. I came out asking what wrong. The lady didn't win the washer and dryer, my son is pissed and wants to burn poor Bob in the dryer.

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#33

I was currently pregnant, and I wanted to prepare my toddler for it, by getting him a baby doll, so he can "have his own baby"
Weelll he would hold the baby doll and kiss the baby doll, and then slam it repeatedly into the wall, and floor.
Fun times.
He and his brother get along fine lol.

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#34

Back at the turn of the century my wife and I were sitting downstairs watching a movie. Our daughter who was about 4 was playing upstairs.

We hear her come down stairs and she walks up to the couch and tells us something weird. I don't remember what she said but it made one of us ask "Who told you that?"

She replies with "The little boy up in my room."

She is an only child and there was no friends visiting.

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#35

My daughter keeps talking about her great great grandma, who has been dead since I was her age. (2).

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#36

When my son was away from the computer for about 20 minutes, my 7 year old daughter changed the Minecraft mode to creative, deleted his inventory, then brought him to the bottom of the ocean, and built a house for him there.

A tiny house with a bed. She set him to respawn endlessly in the bed at the bottom of the ocean and then set the game mode back to survival mode.

So, he starved to death repeatedly until he was able to beat his way out. Then he drowned and kept dying over and over… and respawning at the bed in the ocean each time.

He wasn’t happy… but s**t, I better never get on her bad side. He upset her, and she went through this elaborate prank that makes me fear for my future.

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1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

seven??? I can't imagine my 7 year old brother doing anything nearly this clever or conniving

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#37

Not me, but a childhood friend.

She was 6 years old and tried to burn her house down super early in the morning when everyone was still asleep. Her parents woke up when the fire alarm went off, because she succeeded in setting the dining room table on fire.

My mom explained what happened to me and said that I wouldn’t be seeing her as much (she had a habit of hurting me and lying about it and other weird s**t and my mom finally just decided to withdraw because she was obviously disturbed, she would have done it sooner but I guess I kept begging to see her??).

The next time I saw that friend I asked her about it and she told me that she didn’t like sharing her mom with her stepdad/stepbrother and so she apparently just jumped straight to “m*rder/s*icide”.

What’s worse is the firefighters who responded *brought a f*****g Dalmatian plush with them and gave it to her after giving her a gentle talking about why arson is bad*.

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#38

The other day, my 6 year old daughter and I were sitting on a bench and she started drawing shapes in the air with her fingers.

I guessed the shapes and we laughed. Then she got serious and drew: a circle, a triangle, and a ????

I laughed and asked what they were and she responded, "it was a circle with a triangle and eye inside... it's a demon circle." Then she laughed maniacally.

I was a little creeped out by the randomness, but I love my demon-summoning monster.

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#39

My son at 2.5 years old stole my premature newborn daughter out of her bassinet when she was 2 weeks old. twice. I woke up and heard her crying at 3am but her bed was empty. So I yell for my husband, jump up and notice the light is on in my sons room. Run in there and he's sitting on the bed with her, she's laying on his bed.. She seemed fine he was trying to explain as well as a 2yo can. then a couple nights later the same thing happens, except I go into his room and they're not there. he brought her all the way down the hall to our living room and she's on the couch. I tried asking him what happened and he just said yes to everything, even said yes to dropping her on the floor. She seemed unharmed but how could he even grab her from her bassinet, it went up to his shoulders. He'd have to reach over his head to pull out this tiny 5lb baby who has a floppy neck. it was so scary thinking about what could have happened to her. we put a lock on his door for a while and made sure he knew he wasn't allowed to carry her. I think he was doing it out of love but still... so scary.

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#40

Was having a house party a few months ago. My friends came over and brought their kids. My wife got a bouncy house for them to play on.

All the adults were inside eating food and chatting. Some of the kids were outside playing on the bouncy house. I realized that atleast one adult should be out there with them, so I left the adults and wandered outside.

As I was getting closer to where the kids were playing, I started hearing some rhythmic chanting coming from their direction. I got suspicious, so I decided to sneak up on them and see what they were doing.

Four of the children were holding hands and bouncing in a circle in the middle of the bouncy house chanting "Evil rules! Evil rules! Evil rules!" I stood there in amazement for a minute trying to figure out what game they were playing. One of the girls in the group suddenly looked in my direction and screamed "Oh no, he's here! Run!"

All the children scattered and ran away. To this day, my son still won't tell me what they were doing. :(.

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Me
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1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Reminds me of the time when my then 4 year old daughter sat in the backseat of our car with her doll Emma and out of nowwhere said "Emma, devil mode!"- when I asked her what that means she just laughed darkly and said I don't need to know... Never happened again but the doll is still a little suspicious

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#41

“Yes, We Are In Therapy”: 30 Parents Share The Most Disturbing Thing They’ve Seen Their Child Do I'm not a parent. But when I was younger I set my room on fire and tried to get my grandparents to lie.

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#42

My son makes this funny noise with his voice every once in awhile. When my daughter tries to imitate the noise she sounds like Reagan from The Exorcist. The creepy part is she does it when she's in her crib, talking herself to sleep at night.

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#43

Today my almost 2.5 year old started yelling: M-m-m-M*RDER! At the top of his lungs. His big sister asked him what he was trying to say and he calmly looked at her and said: m*rder.

Thankfully he knows ASL too and he was actually trying to say “grandmother”, but has a super strong diphthong when confronted with a hard “t” or “th” in the middle of a word.

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#44

I don't believe in reincarnation, but both my kids that are old enough to start talking and making up stories have started many a story with, "When I was your age." And, "My other mommy..." Or "My other daddy...".

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#45

My 3 year old grandson was acting like a 3 year old and I asked his 6 year old brother: What are we gonna do with him? 6 year old responded: Eat him up for breakfast tomorrow. He said it with a completely straight face.

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Koalafied to komment
Koalafied to komment
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1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There was a time when I would joke about eating my dad. Even explaining which part would be fried etc. I was maybe the same age and I loved my dad very much. I just somehow didn't realise this was messed up stuff. For me it was kind of a loving gesture O.o btw I'm mentally healthy and never did any serial kîller stuff!

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Damned_Cat
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1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

People are always telling babies, "You're so sweet, I'm gonna eat you all up!" and then pretend to nibble their feet or hands. I can imagine how a little kid might carry that with them for a while and perhaps change the meaning.

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1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My mom would do that & then "nibble" on our necks or anywhere we were ticklish. We loved it. I haven't eaten anyone yet.

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#46

We have a wood burning furnace. My three year old on Christmas Eve, "Mama, make big fire, And... and... and... make sure that the door is locked. Then Santa will be trapped and burn up."

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Linda R
Linda R
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1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A lot of kids are scared of "mall" Santas, so that might be a clue.

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#47

My 10 yr old son has started putting mustard on his watermelon. Gobs of it.

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1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is a cry for help. Get this kids some Tajin! He's desperate!

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#48

Due to Autism/SPD so he has a dulled response to pain. One day, I had the morning off and school was on a two hour delay, so we went in the back yard to play before I dropped him off. He fell into a bit of brambles on his way to the car, but he said "I'm okay" and kept running to the car. I got him buckled in but wasn't really paying too much attention. When I got in the car and turned my head to back out of the driveway, I see blood gushing down the side of his face. Not a peep from him about it. He cried about me cleaning and dressing the wound but was a-okay with falling into a bunch of thorns.

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#49

False imprisonment/kidnapping. When in 2nd grade, one day at the end of the day, he had the thought that it would be cool to spend the night at the school instead of come home. So he snuck out of line, went back to the classroom and locked the door. However, the teacher’s son who was in Kindergarten was waiting for his mom in her classroom. My son refused to unlock the door and go home for a few minutes, apparently (I’m in the car pickup line, so I didn’t witness any of this), and apparently the teacher’s son was getting distraught.

Oddly enough, despite that incident, so far she has been the only teacher he has had from K-3rd grade that seemed to understand him, teach him, and like him.

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#50

Our middle child pooped during his nap time, got completely naked, then proceeded to finger paint with feces all over his room. I’m talking carpet, walls, bed, even found poop in the T-Rex mouth. I had to disinfect the entire room and replace the bed. Middle children…..

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WoodenLion
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1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

never seen someone as happy as my daughter one morning standing in her crib jumping & laughing. there was poop in every single spot she could reach. crib, walls-everything. it was stinky. she was thrilled.

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#51

My son was k*lling villains on a Lego game and goes "heck yea! I love the sound they make when they die.."

um.......

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Peter Bear
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1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's a video game, and this particular game series is fairly silly, and the death noise is objectively amusing. No big deal at all.

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#52

Not the parent but the child. I have no recollection of this, so this is the story from my parents' perspective



One time I came downstairs in the middle-ish of the night, sleepwalking (not sure when they figured that out) and the dogs just *would not stop barking at me*, which was out of character for them, but I seemed unaware of it. Went to the front door, opened it, and just kept saying variations of "I can't come play right now" "I can't play with you" to some imaginary person until I was shooed back to bed. This was age ~13ish, much too old to be playing with the neighbors kids so no clue what that was about.

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1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Dogs were protecting you. My grandma's dog did the same when I was heading to the train tracks next to her house.

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#53

Indy, 4, puts a cocked nerf gun to his brother's head and demands, "Look me in the eyes."

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#54

Believe me or not, this is what happened before my eyes. I’m walking down Main Street Vacation Town USA with my family. My 4 year old kid comes to a dead stop at a kitchen store and says, “I want the robot!”
We look at the display window, the name of kitchen supply store and just think “oh, kiddo saw something he thought was a robot.”

No.

He repeated his demand when we walked in. The sales girl heard him and said “Oh, it’s right this way!”

We were floored. Alllll the way in the back was a wooden robot. I swear that thing wasn’t in the front display of the store at all. It was crazy creepy.

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#55

My daughter was like 4 and one day as I was putting clothes away she said “Mommy there was a boy on my bed….Don’t worry he had Skin”! The way she said skin was too much. Creeped the f**k outta me. She also told me a monster ate mommy. He had big red eyes and a black back. Yeah yikes lol.

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#56

I caught my 2-year-old son with a toy hammer, smashing his stuffed animals in their faces, while yelling, 'GO!' This happened two hours after we bought him a toy tool set with a toy crafting bench.

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BarfyCat
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1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

We were visiting friends in California. The kids were playing outside, and when we went out to check on them, they were merrily smashing lemons with a hammer. There was a lemon tree in the yard. My friend was fine woith it, she said they didn't know what to do with all those lemons anyway! 😂

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#57

Puked on the stairs
"go back to bed I'll sort it out"
Sob "I can't, I was sick in my bed"
"OK, well, you can get into mum and dad bed while I sort that out as well"
Sob sob "I was sick in there as well".

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Skogsrået
Skogsrået
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1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Awww, poor kid. Remember when my son got food poisoned and threw up all over himself and his bed. I gently washed him changed his clothes, tucked him in my bed while i cleaned it all up. What made me so sad was how scared he seemed like i was gonna yell at him or beat him or something. I have never done that, it just broke my heart.

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#58

Our youngest would eat “jelly dogs”. A hot dog, on a bun, with grape jelly.

Guess it could be worse but I’m still disgusted to this day lol.

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#59

My three year old is currently terrified that Minions are going to crawl through our TV and requests that we unplug it every night before bed. What happens if the Minions get in anyway? He's "going to go find bad guys so they can cut them all up and throw them away!".

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Matt Richardson
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1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What in the name of Samara/Kevin? This sounds like a Minions/The Ring crossover... that should never exist, yet I kinda want to see it anyway.

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#60

Very tame and funny compared to most of these but my son took a picture of his b******e with his iPad when he was about four. Best part is that we discovered it because the iPad was connected to my husband’s photo stream on his phone and he was looking for some pictures of a project to show a client when he saw a kid’s b******e pic on his phone.

When we asked him why he did it he said that he “wanted to see what it looked like.”

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Matt Richardson
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1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wanting to understand how your body works is quite commendable, and more people need to take the time learn the basics of of anatomy. That aside, I recommend refraining from sharing pictures of certain things with certain family members. The best this to do with a pic of a b******e is send to your representatives with a caption saying "Dis is You!"

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#61

My 3 year olds dad has a girlfriend with another 3 year old. The other day when it was my turn to have him, he pointed to the ground and said, “*GF’s kid* hide in hole.” Creepy enough. Then later while walking, we went passed a hospital. My son who hasn’t been in a hospital since he was an infant, started pointing to it and saying “booboo.”

I said, “yea that’s were you go when you have big booboos.”

To which he responded, “*GFs kid* go for booboo” while pointing at the hospital.

So he basically told me that GF’s kid both went to the hospital for a big booboo and is hiding in a hole in the ground. I was concerned.

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#62

Oh so many things…

1) They steal one sock…not a pair but literally one sock for no reason so I have just a memory of a piece of clothing to remind me of this heinous crime.

2) One daughter leaves dismembered barbies everywhere. Not usually all together but strategically placed body parts.

3) Gleefully states there is a demon in her sandwich.

This may scratch the surface.

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#63

Pick up a mini pretzel dog he dropped on the floor in grand central station and put it in his mouth before we could stop him. Two year olds are gross.

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Kelly H. Wilder
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1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Highly unsanitary, yes, but gross? I don't know about that. Toddlers simply have no understanding of germ theory and its effects. They also have very little understanding of danger when there is something they want.

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#64

Scribbled on her belly with markers and told me a ghost had done it.

There was a small part of me that believed her.

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#65

I was taking a p**s at like 2 am, hallway light was off and i had the door open. Shadowy figure comes racing towards me almost kicked my son in the faces while pissing on the floor.

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#66

My kids all talk in their sleep. One of them (14) can be pretty distressing because it almost always sounds like he's crying. Recently though, for some reason him and his brother (13) just go around saying "Among us" for no reason… constantly. One night last week, the 14 year old and my 6 year old talked in their sleep and just simply said "among us" and nothing else. I guess that's progress though.

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Floeckchen
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1 month ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"Among us" is a pretty common online video game played by millions, especially in that age bracket

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