Raising kids is hard, there is no question about it. It's easy to get stressed and frustrated - which can lead to some toxic parenting styles. Here are some toxic parenting behaviors to avoid. Instead of taking at your kids talk with them. Barbara Greenberg, PhD, a clinical psychologist known for her national television appearances focusing on the mental health of adolescents and teens, told Reader's Digest: “Toxic parents are known for not listening to their kids, but instead, talking over them or at them,” and said they should, "make a concerted effort to remain silent and listen, listen, and listen some more. If kids feel listened to they will talk more and confide more. 

Try to stay positive! Negative thoughts can be more powerful than you think and affect your interactions with your kids. Internationally recognized child psychology expert, Jeffrey Bernstein, PhD, explained to RD: “No kid is perfect, but parents often don’t realize just how much their own thoughts, rather than their children’s behavior, contribute to their own emotions.” 

It's hard to keep a cool head when you have a million things to do, the dog got out, you have to drop people off at activities and still have work. Dr. Bernstein believes that it is worth it to learn how to manage these parenthood frustrations as the outcome can have a positive effect on your child's behavior. “When you learn to identify and manage your own parenting frustrations, you’ll be amazed at how your child’s challenging behaviors can quickly improve.” 

Your child is not their behavior. We all have bad days, imagine if you snapped at your child and from every day onward your kid thought of you only as "angry" mom or dad. The same goes for your kids. Dr. Bernstein explained: “The lack of time for parents to catch their breath and reflect, can lead them sometimes to see their children in global ways. As a result, toxic labels such as: lazy, problematic, selfish, and inconsiderate can result in parents influencing their children to be locked into a negative identity." Focus on solutions, not labels. 

Every kid is unique, even within the same family, and each one has something to bring to the table. Maybe you find it easier to get along with one sibling over the other or have more in common, but comparing kids against each other is toxic - especially if you think it will result in a change of behavior. Dr. Greenberg says, “Instead, you should celebrate each child’s individuality; comparisons damage self-esteem and do not serve as motivation.”